December is often described as “the month of giving.” During this period, not only do charitable donations rise, but we also hand out plenty of gifts to friends, family, and loved ones. However, if you’re going through a divorce during the holidays, you may find it harder than usual to slip into the festive spirit.
Thankfully, there are various ways in which you can combat this and continue to make the holidays magical while coping with a divorce. In fact, one way in which you can achieve this goal is by giving – not only to others but to yourself too!
What can I give to others during the holidays?
Physical Gifts. It goes without saying that one way in which you can ‘give’ to those around you during the holidays is by arranging a gift swap. Remember, gifts do not need to be expensive to be meaningful.
Not only is gift-giving a great way to put a smile on your friend’s or loved one’s face, but it can also do wonders for your mental health too. This is because “when people give gifts, it activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection, and trust, creating a “warm glow” effect.“ To put it simply, making others happy often makes us feel happier too!
Time and energy. As mentioned above, gifts do not need to be expensive in order to have an impact. In fact, they don’t need to cost you anything at all. Giving people your time, energy and support can make a huge difference, especially as 55% of Americans report feeling lonelier than ever around the holidays. If you know a friend is spending time alone, reach out and invite them to hang out. If you’re both going through a divorce, throw yourselves a spouse-free dinner. Even a phone call can make a huge difference.
Charitable donations. Another way in which you can give to others during the holiday season is by donating to charity. Remember, even small donations make a big difference. If you don’t have too much money set aside right now, don’t worry, donating your time can also be useful. For example, you could volunteer at a food bank by working to sort through and hand out donations or prepare food.
What can I give myself for the holidays?
Gifts. The holidays present you with the perfect opportunity to treat yourself! If there’s been a certain item sitting in your online shopping cart for a while, now is the time to hit that checkout button. While you may have missed the black Friday sales, there’s a reason they call it retail therapy. It makes you feel good – and you deserve that.
Space. Another way in which you can give back to yourself during the holidays is by giving yourself the space you need. Don’t feel pressured to attend busy, family events if you’d rather spend some time alone. Give yourself the grace you need to process what you are going through and reach out only when you feel ready to do so.
Forgiveness. Many people tend to harbour feelings of guilt and anger during a divorce – directed at both themselves and their spouse. While this is perfectly natural (and something that may take time to work through), the best thing you can give yourself during this time is forgiveness. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made, and give yourself the grace and support you need to move forward.
