One of the difficult decisions to make during a divorce is where the spouses will live, both during the divorce and after. Granted, it’s not easy to live with someone once you’ve decided to divorce. But it might be a financial and logistical necessity, at least for awhile.
If you are in a financial position to have one of you move out…
Great! Now you just need to decide who will be the one to move. Considerations: Will one of you want to stay in the home after the divorce? Do you have children, and if so, which of you will remain with them in the home during this time?
If you cannot afford to have one of you move to a rental home…
Do you have any friends or family members you could move in with for awhile? If you choose this option, be realistic about how long your stay might need to be. Some divorces can drag on for many months, or even a year or more. However, if you and your spouse are willing to negotiate an amicable divorce without litigation, the divorce can be achieved a lot quicker.
What if staying with family or friends is not a good option for you? Then you will need to figure out how to share the home you are in for the time being.
If you need to temporarily stay in the same home…
You’ll need to establish some ground rules for cohabitation. Consider these guidelines –
- Designate and respect each other’s space. Decide on some rooms that are exclusive to each spouse, so you will each have a place to retreat to without the other intruding. Figure out who will be sleeping where, and how you will share the bathroom(s).
- Share schedules. Avoid surprises about when one of you might suddenly show up and with whom.
- Develop a parenting schedule. This would be a good time to ease the children into the pattern of having certain days in the week when they will be in one or the other parent’s exclusive care.
- Manage mutual finances. Set a realistic budget, and decide who will be responsible for getting the bills paid. Dedicate a place in the home for bank statements, receipts, and bills.
If you own your house, what will eventually happen with it?
- Will one of you stay in the home after the divorce? Have you considered all the additional costs involved in home ownership besides mortgage payments, and determined that it’s affordable for the person staying?
- Will one of you buy out the other spouse’s interest in the house? How will you determine the home’s value?
- If it is to be sold, how long will you keep the home before putting it on the market?
- Once the home is sold, how will you determine a fair share for each of you?
There are multiple options and many factors to consider when deciding what to do about living arrangements during and after a divorce. It would be wise to talk with financial and divorce professionals to get the information you need to make the best decisions for your family. Our Divorce With Dignity facilitators can offer suggestions you may not have thought of, and can refer you to other professionals who may be needed, such as divorce financial experts or real estate brokers. For assistance in planning your divorce, as well as help with the divorce agreement and legal paperwork, contact the Divorce With Dignity office near you.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
