A divorce is often described as a declaration of independence with only two signers because, in signing those papers, you are giving yourself (and your ex-spouse) permission to move forward and start anew.
However, while there are likely many good reasons behind your decision to divorce, that doesn’t necessarily make the coming months any easier. After all, whether you were married for one year or fifty, you’re used to spending the majority of your time as part of a couple. For example, you may have raised a family together, cooked meals together and until very recently, shared a bed each evening. Whatsmore, if you’ve put a lot of time and effort into salvaging your marriage, you may not remember what it’s actually like to be independent and focused solely on yourself.
As a result, not only is your divorce a legal procedure, it’s an act of ‘uncoupling’, that leaves you standing alone for the first time in a long time. While this independence is liberating, it can also be overwhelming.
With that in mind, here are some top tips that you can use to re-establish your independence during the divorce process.
Be informed and amicable.
The legal process can be incredibly complicated, especially when it comes to contracts or the division of assets. This is because the process itself focuses more on things such as property than the people involved. This means it’s all too easy to fall into the mindset of going after your partner by heading to court – after all, that’s what everyone does, right?
Wrong. You can maintain your independence, while still protecting your interests by working your way through an amicable divorce. Not only will this allow you to remain on good terms with your ex-partner, but it could also protect you financially.
Throw a divorce party.
Stigma surrounding divorces meant that in previous years, divorces were often kept under wraps. In fact, many people would refuse to talk about getting divorced and would stay in unhappy relationships in order to maintain a certain reputation. Thankfully, public perceptions have changed considerably in recent years. A divorce is not something to be ashamed of; it shows that you value yourself enough to step out of a negative situation. It also shows you that it’s never too late to start a new chapter.
As a result of these changing perceptions, divorce parties are also on the rise. In fact, some couples who remain on good terms even throw shared parties!
Start putting yourself first.
Independence is liberating – and so is divorce. After all, it gives you the chance to put yourself first. As a result, you should use the coming months as an opportunity to rediscover yourself; your likes, your loves, your hobbies. For example, if in your younger years, you loved to dance the night away with your friends – why not head to a dance class or jazz club? If you love to sing, head to a karaoke bar (even if you hit every note but the one you are trying to hit). To put it simply, focus on living your best life – whatever that may entail. Doing so is one of the most effective methods of caring for yourself after a divorce.
