As an adult, picking yourself up after a divorce can be challenging, even if you’re excited about the prospect of a fresh start. As such, it’s important to reflect on how this change can impact your child so that you’re able to provide them with the best possible support moving forward.
After all, while a divorce may be the best move for the entire family, that’s not to say your child may not feel overwhelmed, angry, or sad during this time. This, in turn, can spur a rapid change in their behavior. In fact, a recent study found that “there is a 16% increase in the risk of behavior problems if the child is between 7 and 14 years old when their parents divorce.
However, you can minimize these behavioral changes by helping your child find ways to adjust to life after their parent’s divorce.
Let their teachers know.
While you do not have to share the details of your divorce with anyone, it’s important that you let your child’s teacher know you are going through a divorce. There are many reasons for this.
Firstly, it explains any sudden changes in your child’s behavior, such as a drop in the quality of their work, missed homework, or general misbehavior. As such, their teacher will then be able to put certain accommodations in place to support them. For example, they may be willing to extend deadlines on certain projects.
Secondly, if you are currently working through a custody agreement, this information should also be conveyed to your child’s school. This way, they’ll know who is (and who isn’t) allowed to pick your child up from school.
Discuss childcare arrangements with them.
Co-parenting can be tough on all parties, especially in the early stages of divorce when you haven’t quite yet settled into a routine. However, one way in which you can make this easier for your child is by talking about your co-parenting plans with them. This way, they understand what is happening and do not feel as though they are simply being shipped from one house to the other each weekend.
You should also work to put together a set routine, which can help your child feel more grounded when living in two separate homes. This way, they know what to expect out of each day!
Consider therapy.
If you’ve noticed that your child is struggling to adjust after your divorce, you may want to look into therapy. This will help them to find a healthy outlet for their emotions, and they may find it easier to open up to a ‘stranger’ or professional than they would their parents, especially if they are a teenager.
Alternatively, you could look into support groups for children of divorce. This will allow your child to connect with people who understand exactly what they are going through and how they are feeling. This companionship will make it easier for them to navigate their way through the next few months or years.
Focus on having fun.
If your child is having a hard time, it’s also important that you find ways to brighten their day. After all, doing something fun can take their mind off the divorce and show them that there’s still a lot to look forward to. For example, you could invite their friends around for dinner, arrange a playdate, or head on a fun day out!
If you’re a parent going through a divorce and want to ensure the best interests of your child are protected, please do not hesitate to get in touch today!
