This article is contributed by Christine Marinkovich, our Divorce With Dignity owner affiliate in Broward County, Florida.
As a divorce facilitator with the Divorce With Dignity Network, my role is to be a “library of resources” to those who are seeking an amicable divorce. I coach my clients through the process, assist them with all the legal documents, and when necessary I can refer them to other qualified professionals such as mediators, counselors, and attorneys. Whenever children are involved in a divorce, there are always questions about child custody issues. Although I cannot give legal advice, I can explain some of the basic concepts involved.
In Florida, where I have my Divorce With Dignity office, parents usually deal with two types of custody issues: (1) who makes the decisions regarding the children’s health, education and welfare, and (2) where the children reside, which includes the parenting schedule. Usually the parents will agree on jointly making the decisions regarding their children’s health, education and welfare, unless there are serious issues with one of the parents. On the issue regarding where the children reside, one parent is usually the main caregiver while the other parent gets a visitation schedule. Even in a 50-50 time-sharing situation, there is usually a primary parent for school designations, etc.
A typical time-sharing schedule is every other weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm, plus one night during the week, with special arrangements for school breaks and important holidays. Some parents have tried to split the week in half and have the child go to one home for the first half of the week, and the other home for the second half. Others have decided on a full week with one parent and the next full week with the other parent, alternating. These latter types of arrangements might work well for children who are pre-teens or teenagers, but in my opinion these are not ideal for younger children who need a more consistent routine.
Some issues that need to be determined concerning child custody are how and where the child will be exchanged, who can decide about extra-curricular activities, and who will pay for what. Also, there needs to be an agreement that each parent always communicates where the child will be, and provides contact information if they are going to travel outside the state or country.
Discussions around child custody issues can sometimes get fairly heated. When things get a bit stressful in reaching an agreement, I suggest to my clients to put a picture of their child/children in the middle of the table and try to base their decision on what is best for them, and not on what the one parent wants to do to the other parent.
At Divorce With Dignity, our goal is to help our clients make the transition of divorce as peacefully as possible, and with as little disruption and stress as possible to the lives of the family members. A respectful and amicable divorce can be achieved if approached not as a way to “win”, but as a solution to move on in a positive direction.
If you have decided that divorce is your best option, and would like to accomplish it with dignity, please visit our website to find a Divorce With Dignity facilitator in your area.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
