There is no denying that going through a divorce is one of the biggest transitions in a person’s life. How do you not only get through a difficult divorce, but then rebuild your life after divorce?
Sara Crain, Psychotherapist (www.bayareashrink.com) and Law of Attraction Coach (www.myloacoach.com), is one of our Divorce With Dignity affiliates. Her goal is to help her clients navigate transitions, and discover their true, authentic selves so they can live happier, more fulfilling lives. We asked Sara to give us some pointers on how to achieve a peaceful divorce and create the life you want after the divorce.
How can a therapist / life coach help someone who is going through a difficult divorce?
Divorce can be an incredibly wrenching experience, and in such a tremendous transition, it is important to have someone who can support you as all sorts of memories and feelings come up. This could be a family member, a friend, or a therapist. You need someone “in your corner” who can support you in being clear about who you want to be and how you want to handle yourself – and how to embody that to be true to yourself.
At Divorce With Dignity, our mission is to help people achieve a peaceful divorce (findaprovider.dwdignity.com). What are some things a person can do to try to work out a divorce settlement in a peaceful manner?
The biggest challenge is putting aside negative feelings. Remember the values you hold dear and stay true to those values. Avoid acting out of the raw pain, and choose your behavior mindfully. You cannot control how your spouse behaves, but you can control your behavior and stay true to yourself.
One method I would teach is guided imagery and meditation to generate a peaceful frame of mind and create a sense of positive and even enthusiastic expectancy of a harmonious and beneficial result. I would also suggest another technique, which is to imagine yourself five or ten years from now, in the ideal future you would make for yourself. Get really, really familiar with who that person is. Imagine how you will feel and think, and then imagine how your future self would advise the “you” today.
How can you help people after the divorce to rebuild their lives?
I can help you get really clear about what makes you “uniquely you”, and then identify what you want and the steps to move toward it. After divorce you may have totally new issues to deal with, such as co-parenting with your ex, and dating again. It’s important to find someone who can not only help you deal with the crisis of the moment, but also help you to see the bigger picture.
All the providers in our Divorce With Dignity Network are committed to helping people get through divorce with dignity and peace. One of the many ways we can help you is to provide referrals to service professionals that you may need based on your unique situation. To find a provider near you, please visit us at findaprovider.dwdignity.com.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions
