When going through a divorce, it’s natural to feel alone and emotionally overwhelmed. You might feel the need to talk about what you are experiencing, but find that your friends and family members who have not gone through divorce just don’t understand your feelings. They may want to help you through it, but just don’t know how.
As someone who has been through a divorce, and in my work with clients in my Divorce With Dignity office, I have learned that a divorce support group can be a valuable part of one’s recovery. So what is a divorce support group, and what is it like to be in one?
A divorce support group is made up of individuals who are going through a divorce, or are working to rebuild their lives after divorce. It is a safe place for them to talk about their divorce experience among people who can understand and won’t make them feel judged. They come together to express their feelings, give each other support, and share information and resources.
There are numerous benefits to joining a divorce support group. I find they generally fall into two main categories:
- Being able to express and explore your feelings, and having those feelings understood and validated
Talking about your divorce helps you to overcome the shock of this life-altering situation and enables you to integrate the changes going on in your life. Talking about it with people who are going through a similar process, people who can empathize and validate that the feelings you are having are normal, helps you realize that you are not alone in how you feel.
- Learning from the experience of others going through similar circumstances
One of the best things about a divorce support group is the information, ideas, and perspectives you get from hearing about the experiences of others in the group. Some of the things you can learn from your group are –
- how others are handling their divorce process (dealing with lawyers, using limited scope representation, working with a divorce planning and facilitation service like Divorce With Dignity, etc.)
- how to manage issues involving children affected by divorce, such as how to talk with them about it and how to answer their questions, helping them to express their feelings, and dealing with issues regarding custody and visitation
- recommendations for financial planners, legal counsel, daycare, helpful websites, and more
- creative solutions to problems
- motivation and inspiration to work through challenges and move forward in life
If you think a divorce support group could be of help to you, then the next step is to find one. Here’s where you can look –
- local community centers
- YWCA or YMCA
- religious institutions
- social worker
- ask friends who have gone through divorce
- ask for recommendations from your attorney or therapist
- check the internet for both online and in-person groups
- if you are working with a Divorce With Dignity specialist, we can recommend divorce support groups in your area
Taking the step (or leap!) to join a group can be daunting. It’s normal to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. Keep in mind that there are others in the room feeling the same way, or who remember what their first meetings felt like. Just be ready to listen, open up when you feel comfortable doing so, and learn from others. Eventually you will be able to share your own knowledge that can help others through the transition and onto the path to recovery – and being able to do that can also be therapeutic for you!
Divorce With Dignity offers divorce services that include peaceful divorce planning, negotiating fair divorce agreements, preparation and filing of legal paperwork, and referrals to other professional services tailored to your unique situation. You can find a Divorce With Dignity affiliate near you by visiting our website at findaprovider.dwdignity.com.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
