You an lose your integrity when you hire a divorce attorney to take advantage of your ex who has hurt you so much. You give up your dignity and self worth. Your attorney has told you that your ex will suffer, especially financially—you’ll win—you’ll get everything, even the kids, and they’ll end up with nothing and have to pay you lots—just what they deserve after treating you so badly.
Well, don’t believe everything you hear. Most courts are now set up so that the worse case is dividing marital assets evenly so you each receive a fair share. No matter what your family attorney tells you—you may spend a lot of money fighting over something you’re not going to get. And even worse, it is going to take you back years and you are the one who is going to suffer and have a hard time healing from this devastation.
In addition, don’t forget that your spouse is a parent to your children, whether you like it or not, and the court is simply not going to let them drop out of your children’s lives—it’s just not going to happen. Most courts these days want both parents involved in their children’s lives. Now, if your ex is physically abusive or has an addiction that is dangerous for your children that’s a different story. But the court is not going to care that your spouse just decided that they didn’t love you and maybe moved on to another relationship or hurt you so much emotionally that you feel you will never recover.
Of course, there are financial benefits you may gain by hiring the most aggressive, expensive divorce attorney you can find, but you might be able to receive these benefits through a mediated process as well, plus you would save anywhere from $20,000 and up, depending on your financial situation. The money you pay to litigate is just money being taken from your assets that could provide you and your children with some pleasure that you may now may not be able to afford. I hope you do understand that you can hire a family law attorney who can help you through this amicably—there are lots of good attorneys you can use to understand your rights and get through the process fairly, but just use commonsense and make sure you feel comfortable dealing with the attorney you hire.
And it’s not about the money; it’s about the fight. What are you doing to yourself to want to just hand over your troubled marriage to an attorney to fight for something you are already entitled to and will probably get whether you fight or not? What kind of person are you becoming? Is this YOU? What are you doing to your family? I know the other person is a real jerk to put it mildly, and you absolutely hate them right now. But you have to get back to loving yourself and rebuilding yourself so you can HAVE A NEW BEGINNING. You can’t force them to stay with you, so you are forced to move on. How are you going to heal yourself? What is this about? Is it about getting even—an eye for an eye; or is it about YOU? Who are you? Where are you going? What will you be doing? These are the questions you should be focusing on and getting support around. This is where your money should be spent. Take care of yourself. Settle amicably and fairly and then move on to healing your life. You can’t make your spouse be with you if they don’t want to, but you have to live with yourself for ever, so you better love yourself. No one is going to love you, if you don’t love yourself. So work on YOU!! As bad as your situation is, you have received a big message from the universe that there’s some healing you need to do and now is the time to do that.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
