There are two ways this term is used. It is a term for a legal process, but can also be used to indicate any method used to go through the divorce process without going to divorce court.
When referred to as a legal process, collaborative divorce (also called collaborative law or family law) is a method that involves each spouse hiring a specially trained collaborative attorney who advises and assists in your negotiating a divorce settlement agreement outside of court. An important feature is that each attorney signs a pledge to withdraw if either party decides to go to court. Since they would not benefit in any way if the negotiations fail, they have an extra incentive to work with their clients to find ways to negotiate conflict resolutions in a fair and cooperative way.
Collaborative divorce when used as a generic term refers to various ways a couple can get through an amicable divorce process working together without litigation with the support they need. For example, some couples may be in agreement on all issues and just need help with preparing the divorce papers. Others may be in agreement on most issues, but need some help working out the agreement for some specific disputes.
Whether collaborative divorce is referring to the specific legal process, or any method used to avoid litigation to accomplish a peaceful divorce, the basis for it is that all persons involved must be committed to working with and not against the other party.
Let’s look first at the specific legal process of collaborative divorce.
The Process
The collaborative legal process begins with the couple and their lawyers signing a contract (called the Participation Agreement) which spells out their commitments in the process and prohibits their lawyers from representing either one in any future litigation relating to family law.
Each spouse will meet separately with his/her attorney, and there will be meetings with all four persons present (spouses and attorneys). There may be times when other professionals will be called in as consultants to help the couple make informed decisions. Some examples are –
- Divorce coach – can help the participants clarify their needs and plan for the future
- Child custody specialist – can help the couple explore different options
- Child mental health specialist – can educate the parents about how divorce affects children and can present plans for parenting after the divorce
- Financial expert – can assist with such things as evaluating the worth of a business, giving options for dividing assets, and giving advice on how to ensure financial security for each spouse and the children
- Financial coach – when one spouse has been the sole money manager, a financial coach can educate the other spouse with information that will help them negotiate capably.
Just to be clear, the coaches are focused on the needs of one of the spouses so each spouse would hire their own, whereas the specialists/experts are neutral and can be shared by both parties.
If the collaborative efforts are successful and the couple can reach an agreement, a legally binding agreement is written and signed by both parties. The papers are then filed in court for the approval and signature of a family court judge. No court trial is required.
If the negotiations are unsuccessful, then litigation may be necessary, but with different attorneys.
Advantages of a Collaborative Divorce
The team approach of a collaborative divorce results in a settlement based on compromise and fairness where each party has been able to voice their opinions and have more control over the decisions that will affect the lives of all family members. It is less costly, faster, and produces far less stress and anxiety than a litigated divorce. It stabilizes the situation with a temporary agreement that lasts throughout the negotiations, and helps you move forward instead of focusing on blame and accusations.
If you have children, this is a better approach than antagonistic divorce proceedings in court because it causes much less stress for them, and sets an example for them of cooperation, fairness, and negotiated conflict resolution.
Who can benefit from this approach?
Collaborative divorce works well when the participants are committed to working out a solution that is fair for everyone, are willing to control their emotions, are interested in the well-being of the other spouse, and are willing to maintain a peaceful relationship after the divorce, particularly when children are involved. However, it is usually quite expensive since each party has their own attorney and support team; it’s really good for very high-end couples who want to proceed through the process as amicably as possible.
When is it not appropriate?
The collaborative approach may not be feasible in cases that involve domestic abuse, drug or alcohol addition, or mental illness. It is also unsuitable if one (or both) of the spouses desires to hurt the other one emotionally, socially, or financially.
Divorce with Dignity’s approach to a collaborative divorce
Divorce with Dignity is a network of independent divorce support professionals who help people obtain an amicable divorce using alternative, cost-effective collaborative methods. The Divorce with Dignity professional provides a safe place in which to discuss the complicated issues of divorce, and helps you sort out your options for negotiating a cooperative divorce that is as peaceful as possible. They also can suggest support services that may be appropriate for you and your family.
You have a choice in how you will accomplish your divorce. Why not get through it with the least amount of pain and distress?
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
