1. You retain your dignity and are able to part not hating each other. Breaking up is hard to do whether you’ve been together for 1 year or more than 20 years; the main difference is how we choose to go through the process and ask for help. If you are able to get through this difficult process utilizing support, such as therapy, mediators, independent paralegals/document preparers and/or “peaceful” attorneys, then you will move apart knowing that you made the right decisions and ready to start the next phase of your journey. If you go the adversarial route, then you part full of anger and hate for each other and wondering why it cost you so much and whether or not you really got what you should have—in other words, full of doubt and insecurity about the whole process.
2. You save thousands of dollars. A peaceful divorce is much less expensive than litigation. There’s all sorts of support to help you through this peacefully, you just have to look for it. If you use mediators who are attorneys, but will only mediate, you may spend a couple of thousand dollars, but in the end, you will literally save thousands of dollars. In California, a litigated divorce is estimated to cost each party around $18,000 according to the Nolo books. If you are not sure whether or not you can agree, or even need to mediate, it’s always best to visit a local Divorce with Dignity office and let them help you figure out the best process to use to get through your difficult transition.
3. Your children are much better adjusted. It is the author’s belief that our children usually know when things aren’t right in our relationships, and by using the peaceful divorce strategy, you are protecting your children from being put in the middle of a litigated matter. Divorce is a very emotional issue and affects everyone, but there is a lot of support available to help your children through this difficult time. Don’t put your children in the middle of a divorce battle. You can work out your child custody and child support issues either together or with the help of a neutral party.
4. You are able to work out additional agreements and stipulations after your divorce is final when circumstances change, especially regarding your parenting issues, including child custody and child support. Once you start the litigation process, you almost always have to resort to your attorney when future problems come up; whereas, if you start with a peaceful divorce, you’re usually able to resolve future issues in a more amicable process.
5. You can move forward in your New Beginning and truly start working on healing and what to do in this next phase of life. You will get through the process faster and find more doors opening for you when you have a positive state of mind.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
