If I don’t sign the divorce paperwork, can I stall my divorce and should I attempt to do this? It seems to make sense that by not signing your divorce paperwork, that it will give you more time to figure out what you want to do and possibly get back together with your spouse who has filed for divorce. I’ve been working in this industry for over 16 years, and about 5% of the cases in our office reconcile, but usually only for a short period of time. Some couples do pull their relationship back together, but very few.
So you have to figure out what do you want to do? Will it be to your advantage to stall the procedure? Will it cost you a lot more in attorney fees by doing this? Do you really believe that you and your spouse might reconcile? If so, what does your spouse think? If you both believe there’s a chance to reconcile, you can just put the whole proceeding on hold and get into therapy. But if your spouse definitely wants a divorce, stalling is probably just going to cost you a lot more money and extend your pain even further.
Please stop and think, what do YOU want; really, really want? Do you want to pay a lot in attorney fees to punish your spouse for leaving you? Guess who you’re punishing by doing that—divorce is very emotional and the legal system cannot help you solve your emotional problems according to Ed Sherman in his book, “Make Any Divorce Better,” http://www.nolotech.com/CA/MADB.html.
Only you can answer that question, and once you answer it; how do you get it? If you want your old relationship back, it will only happen if you both are willing to work to make it happen; it’s very hard to go back once you’ve come this far. So how do you salvage what you have, and start healing and putting yourself back together after all you’ve been through? It’s going to take you some time, but you are going to make it and you are actually somehow going to turn this from lemons into lemonade. Eventually, you might even find yourself in a much better relationship with someone who really, really cares for you and vice versa. Divorce is such an emotional process and only you can work through these issues. Of course, there’s lots of help available to support you; contact your local Divorce with Dignity office if you need help or referrals; www.findaprovider.dwdignity.com.
Message of the Day: You can stall but stalling usually ends up costing you more money and extending the pain unless you’re both willing to work at reconciliation. If you can’t reconcile, then start thinking about taking care of yourself and figuring out what you really want—this is your chance to make that happen. It is going to get a whole lot better eventually!!
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
