When you begin the process of divorce, it’s normal to feel a mixture of emotions. While you may be feeling a little relief as you move forward from a damaging relationship, anxiety, loneliness, stress, and grief are also common.
However, it’s important that you don’t let these negative emotions cloud your judgment. Remember the reasons why separation is necessary – you deserve to be happy, and if your partner is no longer making you happy, you both deserve a fresh start.
With that in mind, here are some simple ways to spring-clean your emotions and get ready for the new chapter in your life.
Find some stability.
Our emotions are thrown into haywire in times of change. As we crave stability, anything that threatens to disturb the status quo triggers our bodies ‘defensive’ responses, leading to heightened anxiety. And, as divorces bring around all manner of change – from moving house to ending a relationship – it’s only natural for these feelings to crop up. As a result, you should try to find some stability in your life to hold onto. For example, this could be your friends and family.
Challenge negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts, particularly towards ourselves, are a trap that we all fall into from time to time. They are prevalent during a divorce, where you may harbor feelings of guilt and resentment. As a result, you must learn to challenge negative thoughts whenever they arise. One way you can transform this way of thinking is by following up every negative thought with two or three positive ones.
Look forward to the future.
Spring is the season of new beginnings – just look at all of the beautiful flowers coming into bloom. If you’re going through a lot of emotional turmoil, you can make the process easier for yourself by trying to look to the future as opposed to the past. As cheesy as it may sound, think of yourself as a flower about to bloom. Give yourself something to look forward to each day, even if it is something as small as a cup of coffee. Remember, tough times are always temporary – and studies suggest that people are happier after divorce.
Work on your other relationships.
Your relationship with your partner should not be the only relationship in your life – and the platonic relationships with your friends and loved ones are just as meaningful. In fact, they are integral to your overall happiness. As a result, you should use your free time to work on these relationships and spend time with those who can lift your spirits. While many people isolate themselves when having a tough time, avoid this where possible. Spending a little time alone can be fruitful, but spending all your time alone will not.
Make positive lifestyle changes.
Our lifestyles also contribute to our emotional health. As a result, you should also try to make healthy lifestyle changes during this time. For example, you could try to go for a daily walk. Not only is this a great way to get moving (and get fit), but it can also help you clear your mind when your thoughts are running away with themselves. While we often opt for eating junk food (otherwise known as comfort food) when we’re feeling bad, following a healthier diet is also a great way to give your body what it needs to feel good.
In short, there are various steps you can take to ‘spring clean’ your emotions during this time. However, it’s also essential that you remember you don’t have to do all of this work alone. If you’re struggling, reach out to those around you to ask for support. Alternatively, you might want to look into therapy, where a specialist can help you put effective coping mechanisms in place to support you moving forward.
If you’re ready for your new beginning but want to separate from your partner peacefully – we’re here to help. Get in touch to find out more.
