A recent report from Psychology Today labeled addiction “a family affliction” because substance abuse changes traditional family dynamics and relationships between parents and children. For example, it could cause a parental figure to act out of character, which means that “The equilibrium or balance of the family system shifts as each member changes and adjusts accordingly.”
As a result, it’s hardly surprising that there is a link between substance abuse and divorce. While on average, 40-50% of marriages will end in divorce or separation, these figures are much higher in situations where one or more spouses are dealing with drug or alcohol addiction and dependencies. There are various reasons for this, for example:
- Addiction changes our behaviors, which in turn can change how we act in our relationships (both romantic and platonic).
- Addiction often leads to financial struggles.
- Addiction can put the safety of the addict, and those around them at risk.
- Addiction can lead to complicated legal situations.
- Addiction breaks trust.
With that in mind, and in honor of National Drug and Alcohol Addiction Recovery Month, here are some tips you may find useful if you or your partner is experiencing addiction.
Know that you are not alone. 21 million Americans deal with an addiction of some kind. As a result, whether you are dealing with this yourself, or trying to support an ex-spouse who is exhibiting addictive behavior, you are not alone – and recovery is possible even when it does not feel that way.
Join support groups. There are various support groups that can help you navigate your way through this difficult time. For example, you may find programs such as NA (Narcotics Anonymous) or AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) to be a useful space to better understand your addiction and behaviors, as well as put a plan together to move forward. There are also plenty of support groups out there designed to support groups for families of addicts that provide similar support and resources.
Hold yourself accountable. Holding yourself accountable for your behaviors is important during both the divorce process and your recovery. This is because accepting accountability “in life will provide the tools that one needs to remain sober during and after drug abuse treatment.” During a divorce, accountability for actions can help you come to a more peaceful agreement with your partner, though we are always here to help ensure the process is as smooth as possible.
Seek treatment. 75% of those who receive treatment for drug addiction consider themselves to be recovered. This means there is a way out – even if it does not feel that way right now. As a result, if you feel as though your addiction has taken control of your life, it may be time to seek help. There are various ways in which you can figure out your next step, whether you speak to your GP, or work with a psychologist, who provides a variety of services to assist people dealing with alcohol and drug recovery.
If you are going through a divorce, you may also wish to discuss the situation briefly with your Provider or mediator. While they are by no means entitled to this information, it can help them put the appropriate plans in place to support you moving forward, or else ensure you know about the different services and support systems that are available to you.
We also work with trusted and vetted partners to whom we would be happy to refer you. One of our partners is Dr. Shilpa Kapoor, Psy.D., M.S., M.A., a psychologist, trauma specialist, and relationship expert, located in the Bay Area, CA. She and her team from Mind-Body Care, Holistic Wellness Center may be able to help you live a healthier life. Dr. Kapoor will also be joining our team in January 2023 as a new Provider in Northern California.
