In our last blog, we touched upon the ways in which you can ensure that your children’s welfare is protected during the divorce process. However, as June is Children’s Wellness Month, we thought we’d take this as an opportunity to further explore the emotional impact that divorce can have on children, alongside some support strategies you can put in place to protect them.
How are children impacted emotionally when their parents divorce?
There’s no telling ahead of time how your child will react to your divorce. After all, their responses could be influenced by a variety of factors, including their age, their understanding, and whether or not they’ve been exposed to divorce before.
However, they may experience a combination of the following emotions:
- Sadness
- Anger/frustration
- Disbelief
- Anxiety
- Stress
During this time, it’s important that you let them know that their feelings are not only valid – but perfectly normal. This will make it easier for them to open up about how they are feeling without feeling ashamed or as though they have to cover it up for your benefit.
Strategies for Parental Support.
Help them understand what is happening.
Even as adults, it’s hard to regulate our emotions when we struggle to make sense of what is happening around us. As a result, it’s important that you make a real effort to ensure your child is as informed as possible throughout the process. For example, you should:
- Break the news to them gently
- Let them ask as many questions as they like (and answer honestly)
- Discuss your plans moving forward (moving home, co-parenting, etc.)
- Ask for their feedback and input
- Read books, or watch TV shows about divorce
Consider therapy.
While you should make it clear that you’re always there to talk to your child during this time (and beyond), therapy can also be a useful tool. After all, “seeing a specialist allows children to learn how to better regulate emotions and learn about the connection to their behavior, creating the opportunity to better control both healthy feelings and reactions.”
Have a clear co-parenting plan in place.
One of the biggest reasons why children deal with emotional turmoil during a divorce is because their family unit changes. They’re likely used to seeing both parents when they get back from school – and having one person suddenly missing from the home can lead to confusion, sadness, and even feelings of abandonment. As a result, you should work with your ex to put together an effective co-parenting plan.
For example, children should know where they are staying and when so that they can be better prepared for the oncoming changes. You should also ensure that you communicate effectively with your partner and ensure that you speak of each other kindly (even if you don’t think your children are in earshot). After all, children are much more perceptive than you may think, and it’s important they don’t view the divorce as a point of further conflict between their parents – but rather a chance for everyone to get a fresh start.
Many of our DWD providers are parents who have navigated the divorce process during their own lives. This means that not only are we on hand to help with all of the ‘technical’ sides of the divorce, such as paperwork, but we also understand what you’re going through.
Get in touch with a Provider near you to find out more!
