If nothing else, this unusual time has given us time to really get to know ourselves and others in our lives and a real chance to reassess our relationships and our priorities. Have you discovered that the person you’re married to isn’t the person who adds to your life and helps you through the tough times (the “…or for worse” part)? Maybe they actually make things “for worse” for the most part?
Many of us have come to see a different side of some of our family members, friends, and acquaintances during this crisis, and have come to understand that we have some very fundamental differences in the way we perceive, react to, and engage with the world and each other.
This can mean that, instead of supporting one another and raising up each other, these relationships are bringing up more conflict, hurt, and a greater feeling of isolation along with anger, frustration, and anxiety.
So, how do we know when and where to say “when,” when so much is coming from every single direction? How do we know where the problem lies? Is it a problem in our personal life or are we misdirecting anger from world events, social media bullying, or frustration with the public? Maybe it’s just lack of sleep or sheer overwhelm…
It’ll take some reflection (and perhaps outside resources) to determine where the real problem(s) are actually coming from for you, but what happens if you come to realize that the problem is your relationship with your spouse? What happens when this key relationship is impacting your EVERY DAY, your sleep, your ability to function, and the way your kids are being raised (what they’re hearing, seeing, doing, and learning about relationships during this time)?
Are you and your spouse fighting constantly, shutting each other out, engaging in divisive behaviors with your kids, and/or … taking your stress out on them? Are you and your spouse modeling the kind of behavior that you’d want your children to imitate? Is your relationship creating more stress for everyone?
It may be time to say “enough!” When we start to shut down, shut out, act out, or lash out… it’s time to say “when.”
What does that look like? It may be time for reflection, counseling, distance/separation, counseling, or… it may be time for a divorce.
There are many resources, such as therapy and family counseling, to help you work through the first steps/options, but if you reach the clarity that it is time for divorce, consider choosing an amicable divorce process as a way to help alleviate the pain and avoid adding more fighting and frustration to your life and your children’s.
Divorce With Dignity not only works with you to reach your divorce settlement in the most amicable way possible, but we also work with you to get the support you need leading up to, during, and following your divorce. Whether it’s child or family therapy referrals, establishing and negotiating co-parenting agreements, or ongoing family mediation, you can establish a relationship with your local Provider, who will serve as an ongoing ally for your family to get the support they need.
Divorce with Dignity helps our clients move forward in a positive way.
For more information on how we can help, please contact a Divorce With Dignity professional near you to schedule a consultation.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
