Several months back, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced their split up on her blog, calling it “conscious uncoupling”. The couple, who have been married more than 10 years and have two children together, raised some eyebrows with their use of this phrase to describe their amicable parting. Apparently it was not a well-known term, but now that they have brought attention to it, people are learning more about it. New Age psycotherapist and author Katherine Woodward Thomas talks about “conscious uncoupling” on her website, describing it as a way to “release the trauma of a breakup, reclaim your power, & reinvent your life”.
Although some people may feel that the term is just a catch-phrase that sounds nicer than “divorcing”, it does reflect the nationwide trend of people wanting to employ a healthier model of separation and divorce. Instead of bitter struggles, accusations, and blame, divorcing couples are increasingly opting for more amicable ways to divorce that allow them to be more effective co-parents and minimize the emotional and psychological damage on the family.
Paltrow and Martin said they tried for over a year to work out the best way for their relationship to continue and decided that while they still love each other very much, they will remain separate. They write, “We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost”.
Amicable, peaceful divorce has so many benefits, both short-term and long-term, that it is definitely worth the effort. Compared to the adversarial approach of litigation, amicable divorce has the following advantages –
- much less expensive
- less scary
- less time-consuming
- easier on the children; more cooperation in co-parenting
- less emotionally draining
- more control and flexibility over the decisions that will affect your lives for years to come (you and your spouse make the decisions instead of a judge who does not know you or your family)
- maintain privacy (in litigation, your personal financial information, and details of the case, including accusations made against each other, becomes public record)
- compliance to the divorce agreement is more likely when both spouses have been involved in making the decisions together
- dignity and peace (working with your spouse for the good of each other and the children can produce feelings of competency, integrity, and doing the right thing)
Divorce With Dignity is a national network of divorce support professionals who can help you keep control of your situation and achieve an amicable divorce that is cost effective, safe, and as easy as possible. Helping people to work cooperatively to create a fair and equitable divorce that lets everyone retain their self-respect and dignity is a major goal for us. Learn more about our mission, and how we can provide you with divorce support in all areas of your process, by visiting our website at www.dwdignity.com.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
