June is Children’s Awareness Month, a time when we are encouraged to talk openly about the issues that are impacting the well-being of our children, in order to support them.
With so many parents worried about the potential impact their divorce could, will, or has had on their children, and so many children dealing with the ramifications of their parent’s divorce – or their parents’ unhealthy marriage – this is a good opportunity to explore this topic.
According to one study, nearly 50% of the married couples interviewed were only staying together because of their kids. However, while divorce can be difficult for children, seeing their parents ignore each other, engage in constant conflict, or being deeply unhappy can have far more negative and long-lasting impacts on their mental health, relationships, and self-esteem, along with health and social problems. Therefore, it’s often better – for all parties involved – for parents in an unhealthy relationship to seek counseling (or alternative methods) or consider divorce – giving everyone a chance for a healthy home environment and an opportunity to move on and create a healthy home environment. With that in mind, here are some tips you can follow to protect your child’s well-being when navigating through a divorce as a family.
Use the power of mediation to your advantage.
One of the many reasons people choose to separate from their partners is that they cannot see eye to eye. This could make it more difficult to come to any form of decision – whether that relates to something simple, like what you’d like for dinner, or more complex issues.
As a result, using a mediator to help you come to decisions during this time can be helpful – as it ensures the best interest of both parties (and therefore your children) are represented within the final outcome. For example, a mediator can help you develop an effective co-parenting plan.
The more detailed your parenting plan, the easier it will be to find a system that works for not only yourself and your ex but your children too. It also means you can keep them up to date with what is happening so they know what to expect. This means they do not feel like they are simply being shipped from one parent’s house to the other, which can help them feel more relaxed and grounded.
Be a good role model.
It’s hard to describe the influence a parental figure has on a child. However, this quote from Bob Keeshan does a pretty good job:
“Parents are the ultimate role models for children.
Every word, movement, and action has an effect.
No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent.”
As such, one way you can help protect their emotional well-being – both as children and the adults they’ll become- is by setting a good example for them when it comes to prioritizing their well-being and happiness.
Leaving an unhealthy relationship behind shows children they don’t have to settle for anything less than the best. As a result, you’re helping them to build a healthy understanding of love and values, which can become the very foundation upon which they build their relationships in the future.
For example, many studies have found that “children raised in fractious, volatile marriages or quiet, hostile households may have difficulties in managing emotions or may ignore problems.” Conversely, children raised by effective co-parenting are more emotionally balanced and are more equipped to handle complex social situations.
Encourage them to talk about how they are feeling.
Whether you’ve recently announced your plans to divorce or have been separated for some time, encouraging your children to speak openly and honestly about how they are feeling can also help to improve their well-being.
This is because it stops them from bottling up their emotions, which is a skill that they can carry with them throughout the rest of their lives. After all, they will then be more equipped to deal with whatever challenges come their way in life!
Encouraging your children to talk openly about how they are feeling can also help them to better understand the situation you are in while reinforcing that you’re still a family unit – meaning that you’ll always be there for each other. As such, it can be incredibly beneficial to have both parents there during this conversation.
Final Thoughts.
As a parent, your children will always be your priority, and going through a divorce will not change that. In fact, as mentioned previously, it can actually be a great way to show your children how to love and care for themselves – and others – moving forward.
Many of our practitioners are parents themselves and are experienced in supporting families as they approach the topic of divorce. If you’d like more advice or would simply like to work alongside a legal professional who understands what you are going through, please do not hesitate to get in touch with a provider near you today.
