Our Divorce With Dignity specialist in the San Francisco/Peninsula area, Cynthia Hall, is a California registered and bonded Legal Document Assistant with a Paralegal Certificate and a B.A. in Sociology. As someone who has worked with divorcing couples for many years, we asked her to share some thoughts with us on how she helps her clients get through the difficulties of divorce.
How do you help your clients through the difficulties of divorce?
Sometimes I talk about my own personal experience. When I decided to divorce, I tried to get my husband to agree to mediation to resolve our issues, but instead he went out and got an attorney, which meant I also had to get an attorney, and thus began what I call our “journey through disaster”. I don’t blame him for taking this path, but it would have been so much better if we could have avoided litigation. I tell my clients that litigation can bring out the worst in just about anyone, and that working cooperatively toward an amicable resolution is a much better way to go. Reducing conflict will in turn reduce some of the difficulties of going through a divorce.
I also advise them to just step back and take some time away from each other to let emotions settle. Emotionally charged conversations are not conducive to amicable divorce.
What types of professionals have you referred your clients to for extra help in getting through the difficulties of divorce?
I find that the two main areas are referrals to an attorney or to a mediator. I actually prefer sending clients to mediators because unlike attorneys, they are working for both parties so the process is more amicable. But if your situation warrants talking with an attorney, I consult with you about how to deal with divorce lawyers to get the most bang for your buck. I don’t give legal advice, but can give you a packet of information that includes how to interview an attorney, how to ask the right questions, and how to understand retainer agreements.
How do you vet the people you refer clients to?
I only refer clients to people I know. The attorney I refer people to the most is someone I used to work for. I know him, I trust him, he has a lot of experience, but doesn’t charge “an arm and a leg”. As for the mediator I refer to most, I have met with him in person and feel comfortable referring clients to him. He is a professional mediator, not an attorney, so he is less expensive. A big component for me is to save my clients money while still making sure they get experienced professional assistance.
What is your best advice for getting through the difficulties of divorce and transitioning into a new (and better) life?
Try to make it as easy on yourself as you possibly can by hiring the right people – those who have the right experience and knowledge, but are not into overcharging. Avoid online divorce services that seem inexpensive, but end up costing you more because you’ll find that they just dump a whole lot of forms on you with complicated letters of instructions. Most people won’t know what to do with them and will end up coming to someone like me to help them through it. So now they have lost the money they spent on that online service, not to mention the time wasted. Divorce With Dignity is an in-person divorce planning and facilitation service. We do more than just help you with your forms; we guide you through the entire process.
As for transitioning into your new life, just realize that it takes time. When you feel ready, go out and start dating again – that can go a long way in forgetting a heartbreak. I assure you it will get better – it did for me!
To find a Divorce With Dignity specialist near you, visit our website today!
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.
