Generated by All in One SEO Pro v4.9.5.2, this is an llms-full.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Divorce With Dignity A dependable ally during a difficult transition ## Posts ### [Divorce With Dignity Blog: Navigating the Journey with Grace](https://dwdignity.com/blog/) **Published:** July 14, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** [ ![Why Many Couples Choose Mediation in Orange County](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/iStock-2185767704.jpg) ](https://dwdignity.com/couples-choose-mediation-divorce-orange-county/)## [Why Many Couples Choose Mediation in Orange County](https://dwdignity.com/couples-choose-mediation-divorce-orange-county/) Mar 20, 2026 | [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/), [Divorce Coaching](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-coaching/), [Domestic Legal Agreements](https://dwdignity.com/category/domestic-legal-agreements/), [Mediation](https://dwdignity.com/category/mediation/), [Overcoming Obstacles](https://dwdignity.com/category/overcoming-obstacles/) By Julie Maneker, Esq., Attorney and Mediator, Divorce With Dignity - Orange County Divorce is often one of the most emotionally complex transitions a family can experience. In addition to the emotional impact, couples must also make practical... [read more](https://dwdignity.com/couples-choose-mediation-divorce-orange-county/) --- ### [Why Many Couples Choose Mediation in Orange County](https://dwdignity.com/couples-choose-mediation-divorce-orange-county/) **Published:** March 20, 2026 **Author:** Dionne Martinez **Content:** *By Julie Maneker, Esq., Attorney and Mediator, Divorce With Dignity – Orange County* Divorce is often one of the most emotionally complex transitions a family can experience. In addition to the emotional impact, couples must also make practical decisions about finances, property, and parenting arrangements. These decisions can shape the future for years to come. For many years, divorce was commonly associated with courtroom battles and adversarial legal proceedings. However, more couples today are choosing a different path. Instead of turning to traditional litigation, many families in Southern California are discovering the benefits of **divorce mediation**. In Orange County especially, mediation has become an increasingly popular approach for couples who want to resolve their divorce in a thoughtful, respectful, and cost-effective way. Rather than escalating conflict, mediation focuses on collaboration and constructive problem-solving. With the support of a trained mediator, couples are able to work through important decisions together while maintaining greater control over the outcome of their divorce. Understanding why so many couples are choosing mediation can help individuals make informed decisions about how they want to navigate this important life transition. ## **A Shift Away from Traditional Divorce Litigation** Traditional divorce litigation often places spouses in an adversarial position. Each person hires an attorney to represent their interests, and negotiations may take place through legal filings, court appearances, and formal proceedings. While litigation may be necessary in certain circumstances, it can also create additional challenges for families. Courtroom divorce cases often involve: - Prolonged timelines - Significant legal expenses - Increased emotional stress - Public court records - Decisions ultimately made by a judge For many couples, this approach can feel overwhelming and unnecessarily combative. Mediation offers an alternative that encourages cooperation rather than confrontation. Instead of relying on the court system to resolve disputes, couples work together with a neutral professional who helps guide discussions and facilitate agreements. This shift toward collaboration is one of the key reasons why mediation has gained popularity throughout Orange County. ## **Mediation Encourages Cooperative Problem-Solving** One of the most important benefits of mediation is the opportunity for couples to approach divorce as a problem-solving process rather than a legal battle. In mediation, both individuals are encouraged to participate in discussions and share their perspectives. The mediator helps guide the conversation so that it remains productive and focused on solutions. This collaborative approach often allows couples to: - Address disagreements calmly - Explore creative solutions - Focus on long-term outcomes rather than short-term conflicts - Work toward agreements that benefit both parties When couples feel heard and respected during the process, negotiations tend to be more constructive. For many individuals, this cooperative environment helps reduce the emotional tension that often accompanies divorce. ## **Reduced Conflict and Emotional Stress** Divorce can be emotionally draining, particularly when communication between spouses becomes strained. In traditional litigation, the legal structure sometimes intensifies conflict by positioning each spouse as an opponent. Mediation takes a very different approach. Instead of encouraging confrontation, mediation promotes respectful communication. Conversations are structured in a way that helps couples address difficult topics while maintaining a sense of dignity and calm. This often results in: - Lower levels of conflict - Fewer emotionally charged disputes - Greater understanding between spouses - A more supportive environment for decision-making Reducing conflict can have a significant impact not only on the couple but also on children and extended family members who may be affected by the divorce. Many couples find that mediation allows them to navigate the process with less stress and greater emotional stability. ## **Cost-Effective Compared to Litigation** Another reason many couples in Orange County choose mediation is the potential for significant financial savings. Traditional divorce litigation can become expensive very quickly. Attorney fees, court costs, and extended legal proceedings may add up over time, especially if the case becomes highly contested. Mediation is often a more cost-effective option because it focuses on resolving issues directly rather than prolonging disputes through the court system. Couples who use mediation may benefit from: - Fewer legal fees - Reduced court costs - Faster resolution timelines - More efficient negotiations By avoiding unnecessary legal battles, couples are able to preserve financial resources that may be better used for rebuilding their lives after divorce. ## **Faster Resolution of Divorce Agreements** Divorce litigation can take many months or even years to complete, depending on the complexity of the case and the court’s schedule. Mediation, on the other hand, often allows couples to move through the process more efficiently. Because discussions take place directly between the parties with the guidance of a mediator, many decisions can be addressed more quickly. Couples are able to set their own meeting schedules and work through issues at a pace that fits their needs. This flexibility often results in: - Shorter timelines for reaching agreements - Less waiting for court dates - Greater control over the pace of the process For many families, resolving divorce matters more quickly can help reduce prolonged stress and allow them to begin moving forward sooner. ## **Greater Control Over Important Decisions** One of the most significant advantages of mediation is that it allows couples to retain control over the outcome of their divorce. When cases are resolved in court, a judge may ultimately make decisions about property division, financial support, or parenting arrangements. These decisions are often based on legal guidelines and may not fully reflect the unique circumstances of each family. In mediation, couples have the opportunity to design their own agreements. They can discuss their priorities and create solutions that fit their specific situation. This may include customized arrangements related to: - Property division - Financial responsibilities - Parenting schedules - Communication between co-parents - Long-term family planning Having the ability to shape these agreements can give couples a greater sense of ownership and confidence in the decisions being made. ## **Privacy and Confidentiality** For many families in Orange County, privacy is an important consideration during divorce. Court proceedings are generally part of the public record, which means that details about financial matters, personal disputes, and family arrangements may become publicly accessible. Mediation sessions, however, are private and confidential. Discussions take place in a controlled environment where sensitive topics can be addressed without becoming part of the public record. This level of privacy allows couples to: - Discuss financial and personal matters openly - Protect family information - Maintain greater discretion during the divorce process For individuals who value confidentiality, mediation offers an important advantage. ## **A Healthier Environment for Families with Children** When children are involved, the way parents navigate divorce can have lasting effects on the family dynamic. High-conflict divorce situations can create emotional stress for children who may already be adjusting to significant changes in their lives. Mediation helps parents approach divorce decisions with a focus on the well-being of their children. Through structured discussions, parents can work together to develop parenting plans that support stability and cooperation. These plans may address: - Custody and visitation schedules - Holiday arrangements - School and extracurricular activities - Communication between parents - Decision-making responsibilities Because mediation encourages respectful communication, it can also help parents establish healthier co-parenting relationships moving forward. This collaborative approach often creates a more supportive environment for children as they adjust to life after divorce. ## **Supporting Long-Term Communication** Even after a divorce is finalized, many couples—especially those with children—will continue to communicate for years to come. The way these communication patterns are established during divorce can influence the future relationship between former spouses. Mediation encourages constructive dialogue and problem-solving, which can lay the foundation for healthier interactions after the divorce is complete. Couples who work through their divorce cooperatively may find it easier to: - Discuss parenting decisions - Handle unexpected challenges - Maintain respectful communication over time This long-term benefit is one of the reasons many families view mediation as an investment in their future well-being. ## **Choosing a Thoughtful Path Forward** Divorce will always be a significant life transition. It involves emotional adjustments, practical decisions, and changes to family dynamics. However, the way couples approach the divorce process can make a meaningful difference in the overall experience. For many families in Orange County, mediation offers a path that prioritizes cooperation, clarity, and respect. By reducing conflict, protecting privacy, and encouraging thoughtful decision-making, mediation allows couples to navigate divorce in a way that supports healthier outcomes. Instead of viewing divorce as a battle to be fought, mediation invites couples to see it as a process of transition and problem-solving. With the right guidance and a commitment to constructive communication, many couples find that it is possible to move through divorce with dignity and begin the next chapter of life with greater stability and peace of mind. ## **Divorce With Dignity Orange County** For couples seeking a constructive path through divorce, **Julie M. Maneker, Esq.** offers mediation and divorce guidance that emphasizes clarity, cooperation, and respect. Through structured discussions, document preparation, and supportive guidance, Divorce With Dignity Orange County helps couples navigate divorce in a way that reduces unnecessary conflict and encourages thoughtful decision-making. Divorce will always be a significant life transition, but with the right support, it can be approached in a way that protects the well-being of everyone involved. With mediation and compassionate guidance, many couples discover that it is possible to move through divorce with dignity and begin the next chapter of life with greater confidence and stability. ### About Julie Maneker Julie Maneker is the Provider for Divorce With Dignity – Orange County. As a neutral professional, she specializes in guiding couples through mediation, divorce paperwork, and cooperative resolution processes. Julie’s approach focuses on reducing conflict, protecting families, and helping clients navigate divorce with clarity, respect, and confidence. Learn more or schedule a consultation: [Julie Maneker, Esq.](https://dwdignity.com/julie-maneker-esq-orange-county-divorce-mediation-paperwork-opening/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/4d00c03c0b02b76cd28e138ef175cdf89e233f51a873c621dc63f6addb74ac08?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Dionne Martinez [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/martinezmadionnegmail-com/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/martinezmadionnegmail-com/) **Categories:** Blog, Divorce Coaching, Domestic Legal Agreements, Mediation, Overcoming Obstacles **Tags:** amicable divorce, co-parenting communication, digital boundaries divorce, divorce communication, divorce mediation california, divorce with dignity, Orange County divorce mediation --- ### [How Divorce Coaching Helps You Navigate Divorce with Clarity and Confidence](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-coaching-denver/) **Published:** March 19, 2026 **Author:** Dionne Martinez **Content:** *By Caroline McKinnon, Esq., Attorney, Mediator, and Certified Divorce Coach – Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro* ## **Guidance, Clarity, and Support Through Divorce** Divorce is one of life’s most significant transitions. For many individuals and families, it brings emotional stress, uncertainty about the future, and decisions that can affect finances, parenting, and long-term stability. During this time, it’s common to feel overwhelmed. Questions about legal processes, parenting arrangements, financial planning, and communication with a spouse can quickly create confusion and anxiety. This is where working with a **divorce coach in Denver** can make a meaningful difference. Divorce coaching provides structured guidance, emotional support, and practical strategies to help individuals move through the divorce process with greater clarity and confidence. Rather than navigating the experience alone, a divorce coach helps you stay focused on your goals and make thoughtful decisions during a challenging time. Within the **Divorce With Dignity** approach, divorce coaching and mediation work together to create a path toward respectful, cooperative solutions that prioritize the well-being of everyone involved. # **Understanding the Role of a Divorce Coach** A divorce coach is a trained professional who helps individuals navigate both the emotional and practical aspects of divorce. While attorneys focus on legal representation, divorce coaches focus on helping clients stay organized, prepared, and emotionally grounded throughout the process. Divorce coaching often includes support in areas such as: - Preparing for mediation or legal discussions - Managing difficult conversations with a spouse - Developing communication strategies - Planning for co-parenting transitions - Reducing stress during the divorce process - Creating a clear path forward after divorce Divorce can feel like navigating unfamiliar territory. A divorce coach helps bring structure and perspective so decisions can be made thoughtfully rather than reactively. For many individuals, having a knowledgeable guide during this time makes the entire process feel more manageable. # **Why Many People Seek Divorce Coaching in Denver** Denver is a vibrant and growing city where many families balance busy careers, parenting responsibilities, and active lifestyles. When divorce becomes part of the picture, individuals may suddenly find themselves managing complex decisions while continuing to care for children and maintain professional responsibilities. Divorce coaching can provide guidance that supports both **practical decision-making and emotional well-being**. Common reasons people work with a divorce coach in Denver include: - Feeling overwhelmed by the divorce process - Wanting to reduce conflict during separation - Preparing for mediation discussions - Seeking guidance on co-parenting arrangements - Managing communication with a spouse - Maintaining emotional stability during a stressful transition Rather than approaching divorce as a battle, divorce coaching encourages individuals to focus on long-term solutions that support a healthier future. # **Divorce Coaching and the Divorce With Dignity Approach** The **Divorce With Dignity** network is designed to help individuals and couples move through divorce with respect, collaboration, and clarity rather than conflict and courtroom battles. Providers within the network may include mediators, divorce coaches, legal document professionals, and attorneys who work together to guide clients through the process in a constructive way. Instead of relying solely on litigation, the Divorce With Dignity model focuses on helping couples reach mutually agreeable solutions through structured guidance and mediation. This approach allows individuals to: - Maintain greater control over the outcome of their divorce - Reduce unnecessary legal conflict - Save time and financial resources - Focus on solutions rather than disputes - Protect important family relationships Divorce coaching plays an important role within this framework by helping individuals stay prepared, organized, and emotionally steady throughout the process. # **How a Divorce Coach Helps Reduce Conflict** Communication is often one of the most difficult parts of divorce. Emotions can run high, and discussions about finances, parenting, and future plans can quickly become tense. A divorce coach helps individuals approach these conversations more constructively. Through coaching, clients develop strategies that encourage respectful dialogue rather than escalating conflict. A divorce coach may help by: - Preparing clients for important conversations - Identifying potential areas of conflict early - Encouraging calm, solution-focused discussions - Helping clients express their needs clearly - Supporting emotional balance during difficult moments When communication becomes more thoughtful and intentional, couples are often able to reach agreements more efficiently and with less emotional strain. # **Divorce Coaching and Co-Parenting Support** For parents, divorce involves more than the end of a marriage. It also requires careful planning to ensure children continue to feel safe, supported, and loved by both parents. Co-parenting decisions can be some of the most sensitive conversations during divorce. Parents may need guidance in creating schedules, setting expectations, and maintaining healthy communication for the benefit of their children. Divorce coaching can support parents by helping them: - Develop effective co-parenting communication - Create consistent routines across households - Reduce conflict in front of children - Focus on long-term parenting goals - Maintain stability during family transitions By keeping children’s needs at the center of the conversation, parents can create agreements that support long-term emotional well-being. # **The Benefits of Choosing Mediation Over Litigation** Traditional courtroom litigation can turn divorce into a prolonged legal battle. The process can be expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining for everyone involved. **Divorce mediation in Denver** offers a more constructive alternative. Mediation allows couples to work through important decisions together with the guidance of a trained professional. Rather than leaving those decisions to a judge, couples can create agreements that reflect their unique circumstances. Benefits of mediation often include: - A more cooperative and respectful environment - Lower legal costs compared to litigation - Greater privacy for family matters - Faster resolution of divorce agreements - More personalized solutions for families Divorce coaching complements mediation by helping individuals feel prepared and confident when entering these important discussions. # **Creating a Clear Plan for the Future** Divorce is not only a legal process—it is also a significant personal transition. Individuals may need to adjust to new living arrangements, financial responsibilities, and parenting schedules. Without a clear plan, these changes can feel overwhelming. A divorce coach helps clients focus on the future by developing a roadmap for moving forward. This may include: - Setting personal and financial goals after divorce - Planning new routines and lifestyle adjustments - Developing co-parenting communication strategies - Identifying emotional support resources - Rebuilding confidence during life transitions By focusing on what comes next rather than what has already happened, individuals can begin to see divorce not only as an ending but also as the beginning of a new chapter. # **Compassionate Divorce Support in Denver** Divorce is rarely easy, but it does not have to become a battle. With the right support and guidance, individuals can move through the process in ways that protect their well-being and support their family’s future. Working with a **divorce coach in Denver** can provide the clarity, structure, and encouragement many people need during this transition. For individuals in the Denver area, a **Divorce With Dignity provider** offers access to a process designed to reduce conflict, encourage cooperation, and help families move forward with stability. Together, mediation and divorce coaching create a structured path that allows couples to make thoughtful decisions and begin the next chapter of life with confidence and dignity. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to begin, you don’t have to navigate this process on your own. Divorce coaching offers a steady, supportive space to think clearly, make thoughtful decisions, and move forward with confidence. **If you’re in the Denver area and would like guidance, I invite you to connect with me here:** --- ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot-300x300.png)Caroline McKinnon – Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro – Circle Headshot **About the Author** Caroline is a Divorce With Dignity provider and divorce coach serving the Denver area. She works with individuals and couples who want a more thoughtful, organized, and less adversarial approach to divorce. As a neutral guide, Caroline helps clients gain clarity, stay focused on what matters most, and navigate each step of the process with greater confidence and emotional steadiness. **Learn more or schedule a consultation:** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/4d00c03c0b02b76cd28e138ef175cdf89e233f51a873c621dc63f6addb74ac08?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Dionne Martinez [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/martinezmadionnegmail-com/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/martinezmadionnegmail-com/) **Categories:** Blog, Colorado, Divorce Coaching **Tags:** amicable divorce, Co-Parenting Support, collaborative divorce, Denver divorce support, divorce clarity, divorce coach denver, divorce coaching Denver, divorce coaching services, divorce communication strategies, divorce decision making, divorce guidance, divorce help Denver, divorce mediation Denver, divorce planning, divorce support services, divorce transition support, divorce with dignity, low conflict divorce, navigating divorce, structured divorce process --- ### [Why Respect Matters: How the Way You Communicate Can Shape Your Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/respectful-communication-during-divorce/) **Published:** March 13, 2026 **Author:** Dionne Martinez **Content:** Divorce is one of the most emotionally challenging transitions a person can experience. It often happens during a time when emotions are heightened, uncertainty is present, and important life decisions must be made. Conversations about finances, living arrangements, and parenting responsibilities can feel overwhelming, especially when both individuals are processing the end of the marriage in their own way. During this time, communication between spouses can easily become tense. Small misunderstandings can escalate quickly, and discussions that begin as practical conversations may turn into arguments fueled by frustration or hurt. Yet there is one factor that can significantly influence how the divorce process unfolds: **respectful communication**. The way couples communicate during divorce can shape the tone of the entire experience. When conversations become hostile or defensive, conflict tends to increase, making decisions harder to reach and prolonging the emotional strain for everyone involved. When couples make an effort to maintain respectful dialogue, however, the process often becomes more manageable, constructive, and focused on moving forward. Respectful communication does not mean ignoring emotions or pretending disagreements do not exist. Divorce naturally involves difficult conversations. But approaching those conversations with patience, understanding, and a willingness to listen can make a meaningful difference. # Why Communication Matters So Much During Divorce Divorce requires couples to work through a wide range of decisions together. Even when both individuals agree that separation is the right step, there are still many important details that must be thoughtfully addressed. Some of the most common decisions couples face include: - Dividing financial assets and debts - Determining living arrangements - Creating parenting schedules and custody agreements - Planning how holidays and family traditions will be handled - Establishing future financial responsibilities - Deciding how communication will continue after the divorce - These conversations can be complex and emotionally charged. When communication breaks down, discussions about these important matters can quickly become adversarial. What might have been a productive conversation may turn into a prolonged disagreement. In high-conflict situations, the divorce process can become more stressful, more expensive, and more time-consuming. The emotional toll can affect not only the couple, but also children, extended family members, and close friends. Respectful communication helps keep conversations focused on practical solutions rather than past conflicts. It allows both individuals to express concerns while still working toward agreements that support long-term stability. # The Difference Between Reacting and Responding One of the most common challenges during divorce is the tendency to react emotionally during difficult conversations. When feelings such as anger, disappointment, or frustration arise, communication can quickly become reactive rather than thoughtful. Reactive communication often includes: - Interrupting or talking over the other person - Revisiting past arguments - Assigning blame - Raising voices or speaking in anger - Avoiding conversations altogether These reactions are understandable during stressful moments, but they rarely lead to productive outcomes. Responding with intention instead of reacting emotionally creates a very different dynamic. Taking a moment to pause, reflect, and consider the conversation allows both individuals to engage with the goal of solving problems rather than escalating conflict. Even small shifts in communication habits can significantly change the tone of discussions. # What Respectful Communication Looks Like in Practice Respectful communication during divorce does not require couples to agree on every issue. Disagreements are normal and expected. What matters most is **how those disagreements are handled**. Healthy communication practices often include: - Listening fully before responding - Focusing on the present issue rather than past grievances - Using calm and measured language - Acknowledging concerns and emotions - Allowing space for thoughtful responses These approaches help create an environment where both individuals feel heard and respected, even when the topics being discussed are difficult. Over time, this type of communication can support more effective problem-solving and smoother negotiations. # The Emotional Benefits of Respectful Dialogue Divorce often brings a wide range of emotions. People may experience sadness, anger, fear, relief, or a mixture of many feelings at once. When communication becomes hostile or combative, emotional stress can increase significantly. Individuals may begin to feel defensive, misunderstood, or overwhelmed. Respectful dialogue can help ease some of this emotional tension. When both individuals feel they are being treated with dignity and consideration, conversations tend to become more balanced and productive. This does not eliminate the emotional weight of divorce, but it can reduce the intensity of conflict and help both parties focus on constructive outcomes. Many couples find that maintaining respectful communication allows them to navigate the divorce process with greater clarity and emotional stability. # Why Respectful Communication Is Especially Important for Parents For couples with children, communication during divorce carries even greater importance. Children are deeply affected by the tone and nature of their parents’ interactions. When conflict becomes frequent or intense, children may experience increased stress, confusion, or anxiety. Parents who maintain respectful communication can help protect their children from some of the emotional strain associated with divorce. Positive communication between parents can: - Create a more stable and predictable environment - Reduce children’s exposure to parental conflict - Help children feel secure in their relationships with both parents - Support healthier long-term co-parenting - Model constructive conflict resolution Even though a marriage may end, the parenting relationship continues for many years. Building a foundation of respectful communication during divorce can support healthier co-parenting long into the future. # How Structure and Guidance Can Support Healthy Communication Maintaining respectful communication during divorce is not always easy. Emotions can run high, and conversations may quickly become complicated when important decisions are involved. Many couples find that having **structure and professional guidance** can make these conversations easier to navigate. Mediation and guided divorce processes provide a framework that helps keep discussions productive. The **Divorce With Dignity approach** is designed to support couples as they work through important decisions together. Instead of allowing conversations to become adversarial, the process encourages calm, structured discussions focused on reaching mutually workable agreements. Through guided mediation, couples are encouraged to: - Approach conversations with a solution-oriented mindset - Focus on long-term outcomes rather than short-term frustrations - Address complex topics in a calm and organized environment - Prioritize the well-being of children when families are involved - Reduce unnecessary conflict and stress For many couples, having a neutral professional guide these discussions can significantly reduce tension and help move conversations forward in a constructive way. # Moving Forward with Thoughtful Communication Divorce marks the end of one chapter of life and the beginning of another. While the transition can be difficult, the way couples communicate during this time can shape how smoothly that transition unfolds. Respectful communication creates space for thoughtful decision-making and collaborative problem-solving. It allows couples to focus on practical outcomes, reduce emotional strain, and protect important relationships, especially when children are involved. Even small changes in the way conversations happen can lead to meaningful improvements in the overall experience. Divorce may be a complex journey, but it can still be navigated with dignity, care, and thoughtful communication. If you are considering divorce and want guidance through a respectful, structured process, you can **find a Divorce With Dignity provider near you** who can help you move forward with clarity and support. Visit: ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/4d00c03c0b02b76cd28e138ef175cdf89e233f51a873c621dc63f6addb74ac08?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Dionne Martinez [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/martinezmadionnegmail-com/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/martinezmadionnegmail-com/) **Categories:** Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Co-Parenting, divorce communication, divorce mediation, Divorce Process, respectful divorce --- ### [When Divorce Happens During the College Years: What Parents Should Consider Before Making Big Decisions](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-college-age-children/) **Published:** March 5, 2026 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** ***By Caroline McKinnon, Esq. – Attorney and Mediator, Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro*** Divorce can feel overwhelming at any stage of life, but when it happens while children are in college—or preparing to leave for college—it often raises a different set of questions than many parents expect. For years, many couples stay together believing it will be easier to separate once their children are grown or nearly grown. The assumption is understandable: if the children are older, the divorce will be simpler. But the reality is that the transition to college can create its own emotional and financial complexities. Parents often find themselves navigating questions about tuition, housing, financial aid, and family dynamics all at once—while also trying to make thoughtful decisions about their own future. Understanding these dynamics early can help families move through this stage with greater clarity and less conflict. ## Why Divorce During the College Years Feels Different Parents whose children are young often focus on issues like custody schedules and day-to-day parenting arrangements. When children are college-aged, the concerns shift. Instead of coordinating school pick-ups or extracurricular activities, parents may be discussing: - how college tuition will be paid - how financial aid may be affected - where the child will stay during school breaks - whether parents can attend campus events together - how to maintain emotional stability during a time of transition At the same time, the child may be experiencing one of the most significant transitions of their life—leaving home, adjusting to independence, and developing their own identity. When divorce enters that picture, it can create emotional ripple effects that parents may not anticipate. ## The Emotional Impact on College-Age Children One common misconception is that college-aged children are unaffected by divorce because they are “old enough to understand.” While older children often do understand the complexities of adult relationships, that does not mean the experience is emotionally easy. Many college students describe feeling caught between roles. They may feel pressure to support both parents emotionally, while also trying to focus on their own academic and personal development. Some students worry about the financial implications of the divorce. Others struggle with questions about where “home” will be during school breaks or holidays. Parents who approach divorce with a thoughtful, cooperative mindset can make a meaningful difference in how their children experience this transition. When parents are able to communicate respectfully and keep their focus on stability, children often feel more secure—even during significant family changes. ## Financial Questions That Often Arise Divorce during the college years also brings financial questions that many couples have not previously discussed in detail. For example: ### Who Will Pay for College? Some families have longstanding expectations about how college will be funded, while others have informal agreements that were never clearly defined. During divorce, these assumptions may need to be revisited. Parents may need to discuss: - tuition payments - housing costs - books and fees - travel expenses - living expenses during school breaks In some cases, parents choose to formalize these commitments as part of their divorce agreement so expectations remain clear for everyone involved. ### How Divorce May Affect Financial Aid Financial aid eligibility can sometimes change after divorce depending on how household income is reported. This is not always straightforward, and families may benefit from speaking with a financial aid advisor or financial professional who understands the process. Planning ahead can help reduce unexpected surprises. ### Housing and Living Arrangements Another common question involves where the student will stay when they are not at school. For many students, college breaks are times when they reconnect with family. When parents separate, those arrangements may need to be reconsidered. Having clear conversations about expectations can prevent confusion and stress later. ## Common Mistakes Parents Make During This Stage When divorce coincides with the college transition, parents sometimes make decisions quickly in an effort to minimize disruption. While this instinct is understandable, a few common mistakes can create unnecessary challenges. ### Avoiding Financial Conversations Some couples delay discussing college expenses because the topic feels uncomfortable during divorce discussions. However, avoiding the conversation can create confusion later—especially if tuition payments or financial aid deadlines are approaching. Clear agreements can provide reassurance for both parents and students. ### Involving Children in Adult Decisions College-aged children may appear mature enough to participate in discussions about divorce decisions. However, placing them in the middle of financial or legal negotiations can create emotional pressure. It is often healthier for parents to manage these discussions themselves while keeping children informed in a supportive way. ### Making Assumptions About the Future Parents sometimes assume that current financial arrangements will remain workable after divorce. But divorce typically creates two households instead of one, which can change financial realities. Taking time to review financial details carefully can help parents make decisions that remain sustainable over time. ## A More Thoughtful Approach Divorce does not have to create unnecessary tension during the college years. In fact, many families find that a structured and cooperative process allows them to navigate this transition more peacefully than they expected. Mediation can be particularly helpful in these situations because it allows couples to discuss practical questions in a calm and collaborative environment. Rather than focusing on positions or conflict, mediation encourages couples to explore options and work toward solutions that feel fair and workable for both parties. For example, parents may be able to discuss: - how tuition will be shared - how communication with the student will work - how family events will be handled - how financial responsibilities will evolve over time Having these conversations early often reduces misunderstandings and allows everyone to move forward with greater confidence. ## Supporting Your Child Through the Transition Parents sometimes worry that divorce will overshadow their child’s college experience. While divorce can certainly be a challenging adjustment, many families find that thoughtful communication makes a meaningful difference. Students often benefit when parents: - maintain respectful communication - avoid speaking negatively about the other parent - reassure them that they are not responsible for adult decisions - keep routines and traditions where possible Even small gestures—such as attending important college events without tension—can help students feel supported during an already significant life transition. ## Divorce Can Still Be Handled With Care and Clarity The college years are a time of change for families even under the best circumstances. When divorce occurs during this period, it can add emotional and logistical complexity. But with thoughtful planning and a cooperative approach, many families find that the process can be handled more smoothly than they initially feared. By focusing on communication, financial clarity, and respect, parents can create a path forward that supports both their own future and their child’s continued growth. Divorce does not have to define this chapter of your family’s story. With the right guidance, it can simply be one part of a transition toward a new and stable future. ## Considering Divorce While Your Child Is in College? If you are navigating divorce while your child is preparing for or attending college, having a structured and supportive process can help reduce stress and uncertainty. Working with a neutral divorce professional allows couples to explore options, organize financial information, and reach thoughtful agreements without unnecessary conflict. If you would like to learn more about how mediation and structured divorce services can support your situation, you can schedule a consultation with Caroline McKinnon to discuss your next steps. Learn more here: https://dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon-denver-divorce-with-dignity/ --- ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot-300x300.png) ## About Caroline McKinnon, Esq. Caroline McKinnon is a Divorce With Dignity Provider serving families in the Denver area. As a neutral divorce professional, she helps couples navigate mediation, divorce paperwork, and cooperative resolution processes designed to reduce conflict and support thoughtful decision-making during major life transitions. [Learn more or schedule a free Discovery Session](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-coach-denver/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, co parenting adult children, collaborative divorce solutions, divorce and college age children, divorce and college tuition planning, divorce and financial aid, divorce decision making, divorce during college years, divorce financial planning, divorce mediation Denver, divorce mediation process, divorce support for parents, divorce transition for families, divorce with adult children, divorce with dignity, divorce without court, mediation for divorce, navigating divorce respectfully, peaceful divorce, structured divorce process --- ### [The Modern Amicable Divorce: What’s Changed — and What Still Matters](https://dwdignity.com/the-modern-amicable-divorce-whats-changed-and-what-still-matters/) **Published:** February 25, 2026 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Divorce today looks different than it did even a decade ago. More couples are choosing mediation over litigation. Divorce coaching has become integrated into the process. Technology now streamlines document organization, financial modeling, and communication. Virtual sessions allow families to resolve matters without stepping into a courtroom. And yet — despite these changes — the outcomes families care about most have not shifted. They still want stability for their children. They still want financial clarity. They still want to reduce long-term conflict. And, perhaps more than ever, they want dignity. Understanding what has changed — and what has not — is essential for families considering an amicable separation process. ## The Shift Away From Litigation Historically, divorce was largely synonymous with courtroom conflict. Litigation framed separation as adversarial, positioning spouses as opposing parties. Over time, research and lived experience demonstrated what many families already felt: adversarial divorce increases financial strain, prolongs emotional stress, and often damages co-parenting relationships. Mediation has emerged as a powerful alternative. In divorce mediation vs litigation comparisons, mediation consistently offers: - Greater privacy - Reduced legal costs - Increased flexibility in agreements - Preservation of long-term communication Rather than focusing on “winning,” mediation centers problem-solving. This shift represents one of the most significant evolutions in the modern amicable divorce. ## The Rise of Integrated Divorce Coaching Another defining feature of modern divorce trends is the integration of divorce coaching. Divorce is both a legal and psychological transition. Attorneys address legal rights and obligations. Mediators structure agreements. But clients often need structured support navigating emotional intensity, communication breakdowns, and identity shifts. Divorce coaching fills this space. Coaches support clients in: - Preparing for mediation conversations - Identifying priorities before negotiations - Regulating emotional reactivity - Maintaining long-term perspective - Building post-divorce confidence This integrated ecosystem reduces escalation and improves decision-making quality. When emotional overwhelm drives negotiation, agreements often become reactive. When clients are grounded, agreements become sustainable. ## Technology: Efficiency Without Replacement Technology has also reshaped divorce processes. Digital tools now assist with: - Secure document sharing - Budget forecasting models - Communication tracking - Virtual mediation sessions These innovations increase accessibility and efficiency. They reduce administrative friction. However, technology cannot replace discernment. AI tools may generate templates. Apps may organize logistics. But empathy, negotiation nuance, and family-specific complexity still require human guidance. The modern amicable divorce leverages technology as support — not substitute. ## Child-Centered Divorce Planning One of the most important shifts in recent years has been an increased emphasis on child-centered planning. Rather than assuming children are resilient by default, professionals now recognize that structured support during divorce reduces long-term distress. Child-centered divorce planning includes: - Developmentally appropriate communication - Predictable parenting schedules - Emotional stability between households - Reduced exposure to conflict - Coordination of school and extracurricular activities When children experience continuity, they adapt more successfully. This principle becomes even more critical in families with special circumstances, such as neurodivergent children, where regulation requires additional structure. ## What Has Not Changed Despite procedural improvements, certain realities remain constant. Clear communication remains foundational. Financial transparency remains essential. Respectful tone influences long-term outcomes. Children benefit from reduced conflict exposure. The mechanics of divorce may evolve, but human dynamics do not disappear. An amicable separation process does not mean absence of disagreement. It means disagreement handled with structure and intention. ## Financial Clarity in Modern Divorce Financial uncertainty often represents one of the most destabilizing aspects of divorce. Modern mediation frequently incorporates: - Transparent asset review - Budget modeling - Long-term planning discussions - Tax consideration awareness Financial planning during divorce is not simply about dividing assets. It is about ensuring post-divorce sustainability for both households. When financial clarity is prioritized early, conflict later is reduced. ## The Emotional Middle Phase Even in amicable divorces, emotional intensity often peaks after the initial decision. This “middle phase” — when the legal process is underway but life has not fully stabilized — can produce doubt, anxiety, and fatigue. Modern divorce support acknowledges this phase rather than ignoring it. Integrated coaching, steady mediation pacing, and thoughtful scheduling reduce reactive decisions during this period. ## Dignity as a Structural Principle Dignity is sometimes mistaken for softness. In reality, dignity is structure. Dignity means: - Conversations that remain forward-focused - Agreements built around long-term viability - Avoidance of unnecessary public conflict - Recognition that children observe tone as much as content A dignity-centered divorce does not minimize difficulty. It manages it constructively. ## Frequently Asked Questions About Modern Amicable Divorce ### *Is mediation appropriate for high-conflict couples*? Often, yes — particularly when structured mediation or coaching support is integrated. In some cases, additional safeguards may be needed. ### *Does amicable mean we agree on everything?* No. It means disagreement is navigated without escalating into adversarial litigation when possible. ### *Can technology replace professional support?* Technology improves efficiency but does not replace nuanced guidance. ### *Is coaching necessary if we already have attorneys?* Coaching complements legal services by addressing emotional regulation and communication patterns. ## Choosing the Right Support Structure Families benefit most when divorce is approached as a coordinated process rather than a fragmented one. This may include: - Mediation for structured agreement-building - Coaching for emotional clarity - Financial consultation for sustainability - Specialized planning for unique family needs The goal is not speed. It is stability. ## Moving Forward Thoughtfully The modern amicable divorce reflects progress. Families now have more options, more support layers, and more tools than ever before. Yet the most successful outcomes still depend on clarity, communication, and respect. If you are considering divorce and want to explore mediation, coaching, or structured support, our team at Divorce With Dignity is here to guide you. We believe separation can be navigated with intention — protecting children, reducing unnecessary conflict, and building sustainable agreements. **You can [schedule a free Discovery Session with a Peaceful Divorce Provider near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) to explore what a dignity-centered path forward might look like for your family.** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce Coaching, Divorce Process, DIY Divorce, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce process, child centered divorce planning, Collaborative Divorce Approach, constructive divorce process, divorce coaching support, divorce mediation vs litigation, divorce planning strategies, divorce trends 2026, family focused divorce, mediation divorce benefits, modern amicable divorce, structured divorce support --- ### [Welcoming Julie Maneker, Esq. to Divorce With Dignity – Serving Orange County Families with Clarity, Calm, and Compassion](https://dwdignity.com/julie-maneker-esq-orange-county-divorce-mediation-paperwork-opening/) **Published:** February 26, 2026 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Divorce is one of the most emotionally complex transitions a person can experience. For many families in Orange County, the traditional courtroom path feels overwhelming, adversarial, and misaligned with their long-term goals — especially when children are involved. That’s why we are honored to announce that **Julie Maneker, Esq.** has joined **Divorce With Dignity – Orange County** as our newest Provider (launching March 1, 2026). Julie brings deep legal knowledge, practical guidance, and a calm, grounded presence to individuals and couples who want a more respectful, structured, and forward-focused approach to divorce. Her work reflects everything we stand for at Divorce With Dignity: practical solutions, emotional steadiness, and agreements that are workable in real life. If you are considering divorce in Orange County — or are already navigating it — this is an introduction worth reading. And when you’re ready, you can learn more and connect with Julie directly here: 👉 --- ## A Better Way to Divorce in Orange County Many people assume divorce must mean: - Court battles - Escalating legal fees - Public filings and hearings - Heightened conflict - Long-term damage to co-parenting relationships But that isn’t the only path. At Divorce With Dignity, we focus on structured, out-of-court divorce solutions that prioritize: - Privacy - Efficiency - Clear communication - Informed decision-making - Sustainable agreements Julie Maneker embodies this approach. As an attorney and mediator serving families throughout Orange County, she helps clients move through divorce with greater clarity and far less chaos. Her goal is not simply to “win” a case — it’s to help families reach thoughtful agreements that support their next chapter. ## Meet Julie Maneker, Esq. Julie is a California attorney who understands both the legal framework of divorce and the human realities behind it. She works with: - Couples seeking amicable divorce - Parents creating co-parenting plans - Individuals who want clarity before making major decisions - Families with complex emotional dynamics - Clients who value structure but want to avoid litigation Julie’s approach is client-centered and solution-focused. She listens carefully. She explains the process clearly. She creates a structured environment where productive conversations can happen — even when emotions are high. In a time that can feel destabilizing, her steady presence becomes one of the most valuable parts of the process. You can read more about Julie’s background and approach here: 👉 ## Why Mediation and Structured Divorce Matter In Orange County, families have options. The question is not whether divorce will be difficult — it is how that difficulty will be managed. Mediation and structured divorce services provide: ### 1. Privacy Court proceedings are public. Mediation is confidential. Sensitive financial information, parenting concerns, and personal matters remain in a private setting rather than becoming part of a public court record beyond required filings. ### 2. Control In litigation, a judge makes decisions. In mediation, you do. Julie helps couples understand their options and consequences so they can make informed decisions — rather than having outcomes imposed upon them. ### 3. Cost Efficiency Litigated divorces often escalate quickly in cost. Mediation and structured divorce services provide a more predictable financial path. The focus shifts from fighting to problem-solving. ### 4. Reduced Conflict Especially for parents, this matters profoundly. The way a divorce is handled sets the tone for years of co-parenting. A process grounded in respect can reduce long-term damage and preserve functional communication. ### 5. Workable Agreements Agreements reached through mediation tend to be more sustainable because both parties participated in creating them. Julie ensures that agreements are not only legally sound but practical — designed for real life, not just paper. ## Serving Orange County Families with Practical Solutions Orange County families are diverse — culturally, financially, and structurally. Divorce solutions must reflect that diversity. Julie understands that no two families are the same. Some clients prioritize: - Protecting children from conflict - Preserving financial stability - Maintaining business interests - Addressing special circumstances in parenting - Ending a marriage respectfully and efficiently Others may need more structure, more explanation, or more time to process decisions. Julie meets clients where they are. She helps clarify: - Division of assets and debts - Parenting plans and custody structures - Spousal support considerations - Communication frameworks - Filing requirements and procedural steps Her goal is not to overwhelm — but to create clarity. ## When Is Divorce Mediation a Good Fit? Many Orange County couples are good candidates for mediation — even if they assume they are not. Mediation may be appropriate if: - You want to avoid court - You are willing to exchange financial information transparently - You both want a say in the outcome - You care about minimizing harm to your children - You prefer problem-solving over confrontation Even couples experiencing tension or communication breakdowns can often succeed in mediation with the right structure and guidance. Julie provides that structure. ## What Makes Julie’s Approach Different? There are many attorneys in Orange County. What distinguishes Julie’s work within Divorce With Dignity is her alignment with a non-adversarial, dignity-centered process. Her approach is: ### Educational Clients understand what they are signing and why. ### Neutral and Balanced As a mediator, she does not take sides — she facilitates fair, informed agreements. ### Calm Under Pressure Divorce can trigger intense emotion. Julie creates a grounded environment where decisions can still be made thoughtfully. ### Focused on the Future Instead of dwelling on past grievances, the process centers on building a workable future. This shift in orientation can change the entire tone of a divorce. ## Supporting Healthy Co-Parenting in Orange County For parents, the most pressing question is often: “How do we protect our children?” Julie helps families: - Develop structured parenting plans - Clarify custody schedules - Address decision-making authority - Reduce communication breakdown - Establish realistic expectations Children do not benefit from prolonged conflict. They benefit from stability and consistency. A well-crafted parenting plan can create that stability — even during transition. ## Divorce With Dignity: A National Network, Local Support Divorce With Dignity is a national network committed to providing structured, non-adversarial divorce solutions across the country. Julie now brings this model to Orange County. What that means for clients: - A proven framework - A streamlined process - Clear guidance - Local expertise - National standards of care This combination ensures families receive both personalized support and the strength of an established system. ## If You’re Considering Divorce in Orange County It is common to feel: - Uncertain - Afraid of making the wrong decision - Worried about finances - Concerned about children - Overwhelmed by the legal system You do not have to navigate that alone. An initial conversation can provide clarity — even if you are still in the early stages of considering your options. Julie offers a thoughtful, pressure-free space to explore next steps. ## A Word to Those Who Are Hesitating Many people delay seeking support because they fear it will escalate the situation. In reality, the right kind of support can reduce escalation. Seeking information does not mean you are committing to divorce. It means you are gathering knowledge so you can make informed decisions. And informed decisions reduce fear. ## Moving Forward with Dignity At Divorce With Dignity, we believe divorce does not have to define your family by conflict. It can be: - Structured - Respectful - Private - Efficient - Child-focused - Forward-looking Julie Maneker, Esq. reflects this philosophy fully. We are proud to welcome her as our Orange County Provider and confident that families she serves will benefit from her steady guidance and practical expertise. --- ## Learn More and Connect with Julie If you are in Orange County and considering divorce — or already in the process — we invite you to take the next step. Learn more about Julie’s approach and services here: 👉 You can schedule a consultation, ask questions, and begin exploring your options in a supportive, informed environment. Divorce is a transition. How you move through it matters. With the right structure and support, you can move forward with clarity — and dignity. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Papers, Divorce Process, Mediation, Provider Spotlight **Tags:** amicable divorce California, California divorce mediator, co-parenting plans Orange County, Divorce With Dignity Orange County, divorce without court Orange County, Julie Maneker Orange County, Orange County divorce mediation, Orange County family law mediation, peaceful divorce California, structured divorce services Orange County --- ### [Why Divorce Often Feels Worse Before It Gets Better](https://dwdignity.com/why-divorce-often-feels-worse-before-it-gets-better/) **Published:** February 20, 2026 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** ***By Caroline McKinnon, Esq., Divorce Mediator and Coach, Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro*** One of the most disorienting parts of divorce is the moment you realize that making the decision did not immediately make the pain disappear. Many people expect that once clarity arrives — once the conversation is had, the separation begins, or the paperwork is filed — emotional relief will follow. Sometimes there is relief. But just as often, what surfaces instead is grief, doubt, exhaustion, or a surprising sense of vulnerability. If you are asking yourself, “Why does this feel worse now that it’s in motion?” you are not alone. And you are not regressing. Divorce frequently feels heavier before it feels lighter. Understanding why can help you move through the emotional stages of divorce with steadiness rather than self-criticism. ## The Expectation of Relief vs. The Reality of Loss When a marriage has been strained, conflicted, or emotionally distant for some time, the idea of divorce can represent hope. Hope for peace. Hope for autonomy. Hope for stability. But divorce is not just the end of conflict. It is also the end of a shared identity. Even when the relationship has been painful, it has still been familiar. You likely built routines around it. You formed long-term plans inside it. You may have shaped your sense of self in response to it. The nervous system responds not only to danger, but to change. Attachment bonds — even imperfect ones — create neurological patterns of expectation and regulation. When those bonds shift, your body and mind must recalibrate. That recalibration can feel like instability. Psychologists often refer to divorce as a “non-death loss.” The person is still alive, but the structure of the relationship has changed. The grief that follows can resemble bereavement, even if the separation is amicable and necessary. This is why the divorce grief process can feel confusing. You may feel sadness about something you consciously chose to leave. Both can be true. ## Understanding the Emotional Stages of Divorce While there is no universal timeline, many people move through recognizable emotional stages of divorce. These stages are not linear, and they do not unfold identically for everyone, but certain themes tend to surface: 1. **Shock or Disruption** – Even when divorce has been discussed, there is often a jolt when it becomes real. 2. **Grief and Loss** – Sadness about the future you imagined or the family structure you hoped would endure. 3. **Anger or Resentment** – Frustration about unmet needs, unresolved conflicts, or unfair dynamics. 4. **Self-Doubt** – Questioning your role, your judgment, or your identity outside the marriage. 5. **Gradual Acceptance** – A steadying that begins quietly rather than dramatically. These stages may overlap. You might experience acceptance in one area while feeling grief in another. Emotional healing after divorce rarely moves in a straight line. What often intensifies the experience is not the emotion itself, but the judgment layered on top of it. Thoughts such as “I should be past this” or “I thought I’d feel stronger by now” add unnecessary pressure. ## Why It Often Feels Worse in the Middle There is a particular phase in divorce that feels especially destabilizing — the in-between space. You are no longer functioning as a married person. Yet you have not fully settled into your new identity. Financial logistics may still be unfolding. Co-parenting rhythms may not be established. Social roles may feel undefined. This transitional period can feel like standing without solid ground. From a psychological perspective, this phase involves identity restructuring. Research on major life transitions shows that when a core role shifts — spouse, partner, family unit — the brain must reorganize how it understands self and future. Identity shifts require integration. Integration requires time. During this period, people commonly report: - Heightened sensitivity to criticism - Emotional fatigue - Increased anxiety about the future - Loneliness, even when socially supported These responses do not mean you are fragile. They mean you are adapting. ## The Nervous System’s Role in Divorce Emotional Healing When a long-term relationship ends, the attachment system activates. This is not weakness. It is biology. Attachment bonds regulate stress responses. Even in high-conflict relationships, predictability can feel stabilizing. When that predictability dissolves, cortisol levels may rise. Sleep may be disrupted. Concentration may decline. This is why coping with divorce emotions often requires more than intellectual reassurance. It requires nervous system support. Practical ways to support regulation include: - Consistent sleep routines - Gentle physical movement such as walking - Structured daily rhythms - Limiting exposure to unnecessary conflict - Reducing overstimulation during emotionally charged periods Emotional clarity often follows physical regulation. Trying to force clarity while physiologically overwhelmed tends to prolong distress. ## The Myth of Immediate Empowerment Another cultural narrative suggests that divorce should immediately feel empowering. While empowerment does come, it is rarely instantaneous. Strength develops gradually as you navigate practical challenges — managing finances independently, making decisions solo, setting new boundaries. Confidence often builds through experience, not declaration. Expecting immediate empowerment can create disappointment. Allowing for a period of recalibration fosters resilience. ## When Self-Compassion Accelerates Healing Self-compassion is not indulgence. It is psychological efficiency. Research in emotional resilience consistently shows that individuals who practice self-compassion move through difficult transitions more adaptively than those who rely solely on self-criticism. During divorce, this may look like: - Allowing yourself to grieve without labeling it weakness - Recognizing that emotional fluctuation is normal - Seeking support without perceiving it as dependency Self-compassion reduces secondary suffering — the suffering created by judging your own response. ## Rebuilding Identity After Divorce One of the most significant tasks in divorce emotional healing is identity reconstruction. This involves asking questions such as: - Who am I outside of this partnership? - What values do I want guiding my next chapter? - What patterns do I want to interrupt? - What strengths have I developed through this experience? Identity rebuilding does not require reinvention. It often involves rediscovery — returning to parts of yourself that were muted or reshaped during the marriage. This process unfolds gradually. It is rarely visible to others at first. But internally, it signals progress. ## When to Seek Structured Support While friends and family can provide emotional comfort, divorce coaching offers structured, forward-focused guidance. Coaching does not replace therapy or legal advice. Instead, it bridges emotional awareness and practical decision-making. A divorce coach can help you: - Prepare for difficult conversations - Clarify priorities during negotiations - Recognize reactive patterns - Establish healthier communication strategies - Move from rumination toward action Structured support reduces isolation and prevents emotional spirals from driving long-term decisions. ## Signs That Healing Is Beginning Healing after divorce rarely announces itself loudly. It often appears subtly: - You notice fewer intrusive thoughts about the past. - Conversations feel less triggering. - You begin making plans that extend beyond immediate survival. - You trust your judgment more readily. These are indicators of integration. They suggest that the emotional intensity is beginning to stabilize. Divorce may have disrupted your life structure, but it does not dismantle your capacity for growth. ## Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce Emotions ### Is it normal to regret divorce even if it was the right decision? Yes. Regret and clarity can coexist. Regret often reflects grief for what you hoped the relationship would become, not necessarily a desire to return to its former state. ### How long do the emotional stages of divorce last? There is no universal timeline. Emotional intensity tends to soften over time, especially when supported by structured coping strategies and healthy boundaries. ### Why do I feel anxious even when the conflict is reduced? Anxiety often stems from uncertainty. Divorce introduces logistical and identity shifts that require adjustment. Stability gradually returns as new routines solidify. ### Does divorce emotional healing require therapy? Not always, but professional support — whether coaching or therapy — can significantly improve resilience and reduce reactive decision-making. ## Moving Forward With Clarity If divorce feels heavier than you anticipated, it does not mean you are failing. It means you are human. Transitions that reshape identity take time to integrate. The emotional stages of divorce are not obstacles to healing; they are part of the process. With steady support, thoughtful pacing, and structured guidance, intensity softens. Identity rebuilds. Confidence returns. If you would like grounded, confidential support during this phase of transition, I invite you to [**schedule a free Discovery Call with me**](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-coach-denver/). Divorce does not have to be navigated alone — and healing does not require urgency to be meaningful. --- ## About Caroline McKinnon ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot-300x300.png) Caroline McKinnon is a Divorce Coach with Divorce With Dignity, supporting individuals as they navigate the emotional stages of divorce with clarity and steadiness. Her work focuses on identity reconstruction, emotional regulation, and thoughtful communication during life transitions. Caroline believes divorce is not simply a legal event — it is a psychological restructuring. Through structured coaching, she helps clients reduce reactivity, regain confidence, and move from overwhelm to grounded decision-making. Her approach blends compassion with practical forward movement, creating space for healing without losing momentum. If you are feeling stuck in the emotional weight of divorce and would benefit from steady, confidential support, you can learn more about Caroline’s services or schedule a consultation below. 👉 [**Schedule a Confidential Discovery Call with Caroline**](https://go.oncehub.com/CarolineMcKinnon) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Coaching, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** coping with divorce emotions, divorce coaching support, divorce emotional healing, divorce grief process, divorce identity shift, divorce mindset, divorce transition, emotional stages of divorce, healing after separation, rebuilding after divorce --- ### [Why Early Divorce Preparation Improves Mediation Outcomes — A Guide for Amicable Couples](https://dwdignity.com/early-divorce-preparation-mediation-georgia/) **Published:** February 12, 2026 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** By Michael Lemon, Esq. Attorney • Mediator • Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach Serving Middle Georgia Families --- ## Divorce Doesn’t Begin the Day You File Most people assume divorce begins when paperwork is filed. In reality, divorce begins much earlier — often months before anyone contacts an attorney. It begins in quiet conversations. In uncertainty. In reflection. In the growing awareness that something may need to change. What I’m seeing more often in my work as an attorney-mediator and divorce and co-parenting coach is a shift: couples are seeking support before filing. They want to understand their options, reduce conflict, and prepare thoughtfully — rather than react under pressure. This trend toward early divorce preparation is one of the most important developments in amicable divorce and mediation work today. And for couples who value cooperation and dignity, it can make all the difference. ## What Is Early Divorce Preparation? Early divorce preparation — sometimes called pre-mediation support — is the intentional process of seeking guidance before the divorce becomes adversarial. It may include: - Understanding legal options before filing - Clarifying financial questions early - Learning communication tools before conflict escalates - Preparing emotionally for mediation - Identifying priorities and non-negotiables - Beginning child-focused planning discussions This isn’t about secretly preparing to “win.” It’s about reducing unnecessary escalation and building clarity before stress takes over. For amicable couples, this preparation strengthens the cooperative foundation they’re hoping to maintain. ## Why Waiting Until Filing Increases Conflict When divorce begins with filing papers, it often triggers defensiveness. Even if both spouses initially want a peaceful separation, the act of filing can feel abrupt and destabilizing. Without preparation, people tend to react from fear. Fear leads to: - Positional bargaining - Emotional escalation - “Protective” legal posturing - Distrust in communication - Inflexibility in negotiation By contrast, when couples prepare early — before formal action — they enter mediation with more stability and less reactivity. The goal isn’t to delay divorce. The goal is to approach it strategically rather than emotionally. ## The Emotional Side of Mediation Readiness Mediation is most effective when both parties are regulated enough to participate constructively. Early divorce coaching supports this readiness. Preparation may include: - Identifying emotional triggers - Developing language for difficult conversations - Clarifying values and goals - Practicing structured communication - Understanding grief responses - Distinguishing between short-term emotion and long-term priorities When individuals do this work before mediation begins, the mediation sessions themselves tend to be shorter, more productive, and less adversarial. As a mediator, I can often tell within the first hour whether parties have done this early preparation. The difference is noticeable. ## Financial Clarity Reduces Defensive Negotiation Financial uncertainty is one of the biggest drivers of conflict in divorce mediation. When people feel unclear about assets, income, debt, or future stability, they often negotiate defensively. Early divorce preparation allows couples to: - Gather financial documents proactively - Clarify household expenses - Understand realistic budget scenarios - Identify shared and separate property - Consult financial professionals if needed When mediation begins with transparency rather than suspicion, trust increases and resolution becomes more efficient. ## Co-Parenting Conversations Before Crisis For couples with children, early preparation is especially impactful. Instead of debating custody schedules under stress, amicable parents can begin discussing: - Shared parenting values - Stability and routine - Communication methods - Holiday frameworks - Decision-making protocols - How to present divorce to children When these conversations happen calmly — rather than reactively — parenting plans are stronger and more sustainable. Co-parenting doesn’t begin after divorce. It begins during preparation. ## What Pre-Mediation Support Looks Like in Practice Early preparation sessions are structured but collaborative. They may include: 1. Legal Orientation Understanding the mediation process, timeline, and expectations. 2. Priority Mapping Identifying what truly matters versus what feels urgent. 3. Communication Planning Developing strategies for calm, solution-focused dialogue. 4. Emotional Grounding Addressing anxiety, fear, or anger before it spills into negotiation. 5. Child-Focused Framework Outlining parenting principles before discussing logistics. This preparation doesn’t replace mediation — it enhances it. ## How Early Preparation Improves Mediation Outcomes Couples who engage in early divorce preparation often experience: - Shorter mediation timelines - Fewer stalled negotiations - Reduced legal expense - More durable agreements - Improved co-parenting communication - Less emotional residue after finalization The agreements reached are not only legally sound — they are emotionally sustainable. That sustainability is critical for families who want long-term cooperation. ## Why This Matters for Amicable Divorce in Georgia In Middle Georgia and beyond, more families are actively seeking low-conflict divorce solutions. They want: - Divorce mediation instead of litigation - Divorce coaching support - Child-focused separation planning - Reduced adversarial positioning - Professional collaboration across disciplines Early divorce preparation aligns perfectly with these goals. It reflects a proactive mindset — one that values dignity, clarity, and thoughtful transition. ## Is Early Divorce Preparation Right for Everyone? Not every situation is appropriate for mediation or cooperative divorce. Safety, power imbalances, and high-conflict dynamics must be evaluated carefully. However, for couples who genuinely want an amicable divorce process, early preparation significantly increases the likelihood of success. The key is willingness — not perfection. ## A More Intentional Way to Separate Divorce will always involve change. But it does not have to involve escalation. Early divorce preparation offers couples a way to enter mediation intentionally — grounded rather than reactive, strategic rather than defensive. For families who value cooperation and long-term stability, this approach often transforms the experience. Divorce doesn’t have to start with a filing. It can start with a conversation. --- ## About the Author ![Michael Lemon, Divorce With Dignity - Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Michael-Lemon-300x300.jpg) **Michael Lemon, Esq.** is an attorney, mediator, and divorce and co-parenting coach serving families throughout Middle Georgia. He works primarily with amicable clients who want to resolve divorce through cooperation, clarity, and structured mediation rather than litigation. If you are considering divorce and want to explore early preparation or mediation support, learn more here: 👉 [https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/?utm_source=chatgpt.com) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce in Georgia, Divorce Process, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce, child focused divorce, co parenting planning, cooperative divorce, divorce coaching, divorce mediation georgia, early divorce preparation, low conflict divorce, Middle Georgia divorce, pre mediation support --- ### [Can AI Write Your Divorce or Co-Parenting Agreement?](https://dwdignity.com/can-ai-write-your-divorce-or-co-parenting-agreement/) **Published:** January 22, 2026 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** ## What AI Can Help With — and Where Human Mediation Still Matters Most **Q: Can AI Create a Legally Valid Divorce or Parenting Agreement?** ***A:** AI can help generate a rough draft or outline, but it cannot reliably create a legally enforceable divorce or co-parenting agreement. Laws vary by state, and agreements must reflect real-life parenting dynamics, financial realities, and informed consent—areas where professional mediation remains essential.* If you’re considering divorce or co-parenting mediation, there’s a good chance you’ve already turned to technology for help. You may have searched Google late at night. You may have asked an AI tool to “draft a parenting plan” or “create a marital settlement agreement.” You may even be holding a document that *looks* polished, organized, and surprisingly professional. And then you wondered: *“Can someone just review this and finalize it?”* This is one of the most common questions we’re hearing right now — and it makes sense. Artificial intelligence is changing how people prepare for difficult life transitions. It can organize thoughts, summarize information, and even generate legal-sounding language in seconds. For couples trying to reduce cost, stress, or conflict, AI can feel like a welcome shortcut. But when it comes to **divorce agreements and co-parenting plans**, AI is best understood as a **starting point — not a solution**. In this article, we’ll walk through: - What AI *can* genuinely help with when preparing for mediation - Where AI consistently falls short in divorce and co-parenting agreements - Why “just reviewing” an AI-drafted agreement is rarely simple or inexpensive - How professional mediation adds protection, clarity, and long-term stability - The smartest way to combine technology *and* human expertise Our goal isn’t to discourage innovation — it’s to help you make informed decisions that protect your future and your family. ## Why So Many Couples Are Turning to AI Before Mediation Divorce is emotionally and logistically overwhelming. Many couples are looking for ways to: - Reduce legal fees - Avoid unnecessary conflict - Feel more prepared before meeting with a professional - Regain a sense of control during an uncertain time AI tools promise speed, structure, and affordability — all very appealing when emotions and finances are already stretched. Used thoughtfully, AI **can** be a helpful preparation tool. Used in isolation, however, it often creates more work — and more risk — later. ## What AI *Can* Help With Before Divorce or Co-Parenting Mediation Let’s start with where AI actually *adds value*. ### 1. Organizing Thoughts and Priorities AI can help you: - List your goals for mediation - Identify issues you want to discuss (parenting schedules, finances, housing) - Put vague concerns into clearer language For many people, this alone reduces anxiety and makes the first mediation session feel less intimidating. ### 2. Creating a Rough Framework — Not a Finished Agreement AI can generate: - Sample parenting plan structures - General settlement outlines - Topic headings you may not have thought about This can help couples realize how many moving parts exist in a divorce or co-parenting arrangement — which is often eye-opening in a useful way. ### 3. Preparing Questions for a Mediator or Attorney AI can help you brainstorm: - Questions to ask during mediation - Clarifications you need around support, schedules, or decision-making - Scenarios you want to plan for Used this way, AI acts like a **thinking partner**, not a decision-maker. ## Where AI Consistently Falls Short in Divorce and Co-Parenting Agreements This is the part many couples don’t realize until much later. ### 1. AI Does Not Understand Your State’s Laws Divorce and custody laws vary significantly by state — and sometimes by county. AI tools: - Do not reliably apply state-specific legal standards - Often blend rules from multiple jurisdictions - May include clauses that are unenforceable or inappropriate where you live A document that sounds “official” can still be legally flawed. ### 2. AI Cannot Anticipate Real-Life Parenting Dynamics Parenting plans are not just schedules — they are **living systems**. AI cannot fully account for: - Children’s developmental stages - Neurodiversity, special needs, or health considerations - High-conflict dynamics or power imbalances - Future transitions like school changes, extracurriculars, or relocation These are precisely the areas where mediation expertise matters most. ### 3. AI Misses Emotional and Relational Subtext Divorce is not just a legal transaction. Mediators regularly see AI-drafted agreements that: - Contain language that escalates conflict - Reflect one party’s perspective more than the other’s - Ignore emotional triggers that will cause future disputes A “neutral-sounding” clause can still feel deeply unfair or threatening to one parent — and that matters. ### 4. AI Cannot Assess Long-Term Consequences Short-term agreements often create long-term problems. AI cannot reliably evaluate: - Whether financial terms are sustainable - How vague language will be interpreted years later - What happens when circumstances inevitably change Mediators are trained to think several steps ahead — because that’s where families live. ## Why “Just Reviewing” an AI-Drafted Agreement Isn’t Simple Many couples come to mediation hoping for a quick, low-cost review of an AI-generated agreement. What they don’t realize is that **reviewing an agreement often takes as much — or more — work than drafting it collaboratively**. Why? Because professionals must: - Identify what’s missing - Correct legally problematic language - Clarify vague or contradictory provisions - Re-balance agreements that unintentionally favor one party - Ensure the agreement reflects mutual understanding and informed consent In many cases, the AI draft becomes a **draft to undo**, not finalize. This isn’t a judgment on your effort — it’s simply the reality of how these tools function today. ## The Risks of Relying on AI Alone for Divorce or Co-Parenting Agreements Couples who rely solely on AI often encounter issues later such as: - Agreements rejected by the court - Ambiguous clauses that lead to repeated conflict - Parenting plans that work on paper but fail in practice - Costly post-divorce modifications Ironically, the attempt to save money upfront can lead to **more expense and stress later**. ## How Mediation Professionals Use AI — Responsibly At Divorce With Dignity, many mediators are open to reviewing AI-generated materials **as part of a larger mediation process**. Used well, AI drafts can: - Speed up early conversations - Highlight shared values or priorities - Provide a starting framework But the agreement itself is shaped through: - Guided conversation - Reality-testing - Legal awareness - Emotional intelligence - Experience with hundreds (or thousands) of real families This human layer is not something technology can replace — especially when children are involved. ## A Healthier Way to Combine AI and Mediation If you’re considering using AI as part of your divorce or co-parenting journey, here’s a balanced approach: 1. Use AI to organize your thoughts and questions 2. Bring those materials to mediation as a reference — not a finished product 3. Work with a trained mediator to explore options collaboratively 4. Ensure agreements are clear, fair, and tailored to your family 5. Obtain appropriate legal review before finalizing This approach respects innovation *and* protects your future. ## Divorce Is Not a Template Problem Divorce and co-parenting are deeply personal transitions. While technology can support preparation, **it cannot replace human judgment, empathy, or professional responsibility**. A well-crafted agreement isn’t just about getting divorced — it’s about: - Co-parenting with stability - Reducing future conflict - Protecting your children’s sense of security - Creating a workable foundation for the next chapter Those outcomes require more than software. They require conversation, care, and experienced guidance. --- ## Thinking About Mediation? Talk With a Professional Near You If you’re exploring divorce mediation or co-parenting mediation — with or without an AI-generated draft — working with a trained professional can help you move forward with clarity and confidence. 👉 **Contact a Provider Near You to Learn More** You don’t have to navigate this transition alone — and you don’t have to rely on technology to make deeply human decisions. --- ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Divorce Process, DIY Divorce, Mediation **Tags:** AI and divorce, AI divorce agreement, AI parenting plan, amicable divorce, co-parenting agreements, co-parenting mediation, divorce agreement review, divorce mediation, divorce mediation agreement, divorce planning, Divorce Process, divorce resources, divorce without litigation, family mediation, mediated marital settlement agreement, parenting plan mediation, preparing for mediation, technology and divorce --- ### [The Quiet Shift in Divorce: Why More Amicable Families Are Choosing Cooperation Over Conflict](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-cooperation-georgia/) **Published:** January 14, 2026 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** *By Michael Lemon, Esq.* For decades, divorce has been framed as a battle — a process defined by adversarial positions, courtroom posturing, and an unspoken expectation that someone must “win” while someone else inevitably “loses.” This narrative has shaped how families approach separation, how attorneys are trained, and how parents brace themselves emotionally long before any paperwork is filed. **But something is changing.** Across Middle Georgia and beyond, I’m seeing a growing number of families step back and ask a different question: *Is there a way to divorce that doesn’t destroy everything in its path?* These are not naïve couples, nor are they avoiding reality. They are thoughtful, pragmatic people who understand that while their marriage may be ending, their roles as parents, partners in raising children, and members of a shared community are not. This quiet shift — away from high-conflict litigation and toward amicable, cooperative divorce — is reshaping how families experience separation. And it’s happening not because divorce has become easier, but because people are becoming more intentional about *how* they move through it. As an attorney, mediator, and divorce and co-parenting coach, I work almost exclusively with clients who want this kind of process. They are not looking for a fight. They are looking for clarity, dignity, and a way forward that minimizes unnecessary harm — especially for their children. This article explores what’s driving this shift, what an amicable divorce actually looks like in practice, and **why cooperation-first approaches are becoming the preferred path for families who want to separate without leaving lasting damage behind.** ## Divorce Is No Longer Just a Legal Event Traditionally, divorce has been treated as a legal problem to be solved: file the right documents, argue the right positions, secure the best possible outcome under the law. While legal structure is still essential, this narrow framing ignores the broader reality that divorce is also an emotional, relational, and logistical transition that unfolds over months — and often years. For amicable families, this realization is pivotal. When couples begin to understand divorce as a *process* rather than a single legal event, their priorities shift. They start asking questions like: - ***How do we communicate during this transition?*** - ***What do our children need to feel safe and stable?*** - ***How do we make decisions we can live with long-term?*** - ***How do we separate without becoming adversaries?*** These questions don’t have courtroom answers. They require guidance, structure, and a cooperative framework that supports thoughtful decision-making rather than reactive conflict. This is where mediation and divorce coaching come into play — not as alternatives to legality, but as complements to it. ## What Defines an Amicable Divorce? An amicable divorce is often misunderstood as a divorce without disagreement. In reality, disagreement is inevitable. What distinguishes an amicable divorce is not the absence of conflict, but the *way conflict is handled*. In an amicable divorce: - Both parties commit to respectful communication - Decisions are made collaboratively whenever possible - Children’s well-being is prioritized over positional bargaining - The focus is on resolution, not retaliation - Long-term family dynamics are considered alongside immediate outcomes This doesn’t mean couples agree on everything, or that emotions are muted. It means there is a shared commitment to handling difficult conversations without escalating them into battles. Amicable clients often tell me they want to “do this the right way,” even if they can’t yet articulate what that means. What they are really expressing is a desire for *alignment* — between their values and the way they navigate separation. ## Why More Families Are Choosing Cooperation There are several reasons cooperative divorce is becoming more common, particularly among parents and long-term partners. #### 1. Awareness of Long-Term Impact More families now understand that the way divorce unfolds affects children far beyond the final decree. High-conflict processes tend to create lingering tension, communication breakdowns, and emotional stress that can last for years. Parents who want to co-parent effectively recognize that preserving a working relationship matters. #### 2. Emotional and Financial Fatigue Litigation is expensive — not just financially, but emotionally. Many amicable couples recognize early on that adversarial divorce drains resources they would rather invest in their children’s futures, new households, or emotional recovery. #### 3. A Desire for Control Court-driven divorce often places decision-making power in the hands of judges who don’t know the family. Mediation and cooperative processes allow couples to retain control over outcomes that affect their daily lives. #### 4. Cultural Shifts Toward Emotional Intelligence There is growing acceptance of emotional literacy, therapy, coaching, and conflict-resolution tools. People are more willing to seek support that helps them navigate difficult transitions thoughtfully rather than “power through” at all costs. ## The Role of Mediation in Amicable Divorce Mediation is one of the most effective tools for families who want a cooperative divorce. Unlike litigation, mediation is structured around facilitated dialogue rather than adversarial positioning. In mediation, both parties work with a neutral mediator to: - Identify shared goals and areas of agreement - Discuss disputed issues in a controlled, respectful setting - Explore creative solutions that meet both parties’ needs - Develop agreements that reflect the family’s unique dynamics For amicable clients, mediation offers something invaluable: *a container for difficult conversations*. It creates space for honest discussion without turning disagreement into warfare. As an attorney-mediator, my role is not to advocate for one side, but to help both parties stay focused on resolution, fairness, and long-term sustainability. This approach reduces escalation and keeps the process aligned with the family’s stated intention to remain respectful and cooperative. ## Divorce Coaching: The Missing Piece for Many Amicable Clients While mediation addresses joint decision-making, divorce coaching provides individualized support — and for many amicable clients, it’s the piece that makes the entire process work. Divorce coaching focuses on helping individuals: - Clarify priorities and values - Prepare for mediation and difficult conversations - Manage emotional triggers and stress - Communicate more effectively - Make decisions with confidence rather than fear Coaching is especially valuable for people who are thoughtful, reflective, and committed to handling divorce with integrity — but who may feel overwhelmed by the emotional weight of the process. In my coaching work, I often help clients slow down, sort through competing concerns, and identify what truly matters to them. This preparation allows them to show up to mediation grounded and clear, rather than reactive or defensive. For amicable couples, coaching supports cooperation by strengthening each individual’s capacity to participate constructively. ## Co-Parenting Begins During Divorce, Not After One of the most important insights for parents considering amicable divorce is this: co-parenting doesn’t start when the divorce is finalized. It starts the moment parents begin making decisions together about separation. How parents communicate during divorce sets the tone for years of shared parenting. Patterns established early — whether cooperative or combative — tend to persist. In amicable divorce processes, co-parenting planning is approached proactively. Parents work together to: - Establish consistent routines across households - Define communication expectations - Address holidays, vacations, and special events - Create flexible structures that can evolve as children grow Rather than viewing parenting plans as rigid legal documents, cooperative families see them as living frameworks designed to support children’s stability and well-being. This mindset shift — from enforcement to collaboration — is one of the most powerful benefits of amicable divorce. ## The Psychological Safety of Cooperation Amicable divorce creates psychological safety — for both parents and children. When adults handle conflict respectfully, children are less likely to feel caught in the middle. When parents communicate openly, children receive consistent messages and reassurance. When decision-making is transparent, uncertainty is reduced. For adults, cooperation reduces anxiety, resentment, and the sense of being under attack. Even when emotions are complex, the absence of constant conflict allows space for healing and adjustment. This safety doesn’t eliminate grief or loss, but it prevents unnecessary trauma layered on top of an already difficult transition. ## Common Myths About Amicable Divorce Despite its benefits, amicable divorce is often misunderstood. Let’s address a few common myths. #### “Amicable divorce means one person gives in.” In reality, amicable divorce requires *active participation* from both parties. It’s not about capitulation; it’s about problem-solving. #### “Mediation only works if we agree on everything.” Mediation exists precisely because couples don’t agree on everything. What matters is a willingness to engage in dialogue. #### “Cooperation means avoiding hard issues.” Amicable processes don’t avoid difficult topics — they address them with structure and support. #### “We’ll lose legal protection.” Amicable divorce still operates within legal frameworks. The difference lies in *how* decisions are reached, not whether they are legally sound. ## When Amicable Divorce Is Not Appropriate It’s important to be clear: amicable divorce is not suitable for every situation. Cases involving domestic violence, coercive control, or severe power imbalances require different approaches to ensure safety and fairness. Part of my role as an attorney and mediator is helping clients assess whether cooperation is appropriate — and if not, guiding them toward resources that prioritize protection and stability. Choosing an amicable path should always be a *voluntary and informed* decision. ## A More Humane Model for Family Transition What I see daily in my work is this: families who choose cooperation over conflict often emerge from divorce not unscathed, but intact. They retain the ability to communicate, to co-parent, and to move forward without years of lingering hostility. This doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because people choose support, structure, and intentionality over reflexive confrontation. Divorce will always involve loss. But it doesn’t have to involve destruction. For amicable families, a cooperative approach offers a way to honor what was, protect what matters now, and build what comes next — with dignity. --- ## About the Author **Michael Lemon, Esq.** is an attorney, mediator, and divorce and co-parenting coach serving families throughout Middle Georgia. His practice focuses on helping amicable clients navigate divorce with clarity, cooperation, and respect — minimizing conflict while supporting thoughtful decision-making and healthy co-parenting relationships. Michael works with individuals and couples who want a peaceful, structured approach to divorce and separation, whether through mediation, divorce coaching, or co-parenting support. If you are considering divorce and want to explore a cooperative, dignified path forward, learn more about Michael’s work here: 👉 **[https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/?utm_source=chatgpt.com)** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Co-Parenting, Divorce Coaching, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, attorney mediator, child focused divorce, co-parenting after divorce, co-parenting coach, cooperative divorce, divorce coaching, divorce mediation, divorce planning, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, divorce without litigation, family mediation, Georgia divorce mediation, healthy co-parenting, low conflict divorce, mediation vs litigation, Middle Georgia divorce, peaceful divorce, shared parenting --- ### [Seeing Divorce Through Your Child’s Eyes: What Children of Different Ages Need Most During Family Transitions](https://dwdignity.com/seeing-divorce-through-your-childs-eyes-what-children-of-different-ages-need-most-during-family-transitions/) **Published:** December 16, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** *By Caroline McKinnon, Divorce Coach & Mediator — Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro* When Denver parents come to me—with a mix of exhaustion, fear, resolve, and hope—they almost always ask the same question, though usually in different words: **“How will this affect my child?”** It’s a question so full of love that it deserves a thoughtful, honest, and deeply compassionate answer. **Divorce is a transition, not an ending.** And for children, it lands in a world they didn’t create but must now learn to navigate. They experience it at eye level—small eyes, wide eyes, skeptical eyes, teenage eyes that pretend not to care but care more deeply than they let on. No matter what age your child is, they’re watching, feeling, absorbing, and adapting. And when parents choose a peaceful, dignity-centered approach to separation, something remarkable happens: **Children feel held, even when everything around them is shifting.** Today, I want to walk you through divorce from a child’s perspective—how children of different ages interpret change, what matters most to them, and how you can support them with tenderness and clarity. My hope is that this feels like a guide you can breathe through, not a list of worries to carry. **The Universal Truth: Children Want to Feel Safe, Seen, and Loved** Let me start with this: Children are incredibly resilient—not because they were born that way, but because they take emotional cues from the adults they depend on. Whether your child is four or fourteen, the questions underneath the questions are almost always the same: **“Am I still loved?” **“Is my world still safe?” **“Do I still belong to both of you?”** Divorce can absolutely be navigated in a way that answers those three questions with a wholehearted **“Yes.”** In fact, when handled thoughtfully, divorce can teach children emotional maturity, empathy, healthy communication, resilience, and the knowledge that relationships can evolve without falling apart. It starts with understanding what the world looks like through their eyes. **Ages 3–6: The Little Ones Who Feel First and Understand Later** Children in early childhood live almost entirely in sensory and emotional experience. Their inner world is full of imagination and simple logic, often mixed together. When I work with parents of younger children in Denver, they often tell me: “*She asked if she caused the divorce.*” “*He thinks that if he behaves better, we’ll get back together.*” This is normal. Young children connect events to themselves because that is how their brains make sense of the world. A child this age may be thinking: *“Is this happening because I threw a tantrum yesterday?” “Do I still get pancakes on Saturdays?” “Will you still be there when I wake up?”* They aren’t wondering about legal paperwork or long-term schedules. They’re wondering who will read bedtime stories and whether someone will be there when the nightmares come. **How they feel: Confused, clingy, sensitive to schedule changes, and deeply attuned to your emotional tone. **What matters most to them: Predictability. Softness. Warm hugs. Familiar routines. Knowing they didn’t cause the divorce. When you get down on their level, look them gently in the eye, and say, **“This is not your fault. You didn’t cause this. You are so loved,” you offer them a foundation they can stand on throughout this transition. **Ages 7–10: The Observers Trying to Make Sense of the Details** Children in middle childhood are developing logic, fairness, memory, and a sense of responsibility. They start to notice more nuance in how their parents relate, and they may try to interpret the “why” of the divorce. A child this age may be quietly wondering: ***“If you don’t live together anymore, what does that mean for holidays?” “Will my school stay the same?” “Who’s picking me up today?” “What if I leave something at the other house?”*** These kids are not just asking logistical questions; they’re trying to understand stability. One 8-year-old I worked with said to me: “I just don’t want everything to change at once. I like knowing what’s happening.” For them, divorce feels like a logistical puzzle with emotional pieces. They may ask the same question several times—not because they don’t remember the answer, but because they are trying to find comfort in consistency. **What matters most to them: Clarity, routines, reassurance that love doesn’t get divided like furniture. The calmer you are when explaining the schedule, the safer they feel. When parents collaborate—sharing drop-offs, both attending school events, communicating respectfully—it communicates something powerful: **“Your world is still whole. It just looks different now.”** **Ages 11–13: The Sensitive Bridge Between Childhood and Adolescence** Preteens live in the emotional middle ground. They are old enough to understand what divorce means, but young enough to feel overwhelmed by the emotions that come with it. They often say things like: ***“I don’t want to pick sides.” “This is awkward.” “Can we just be normal?”*** They may become more private, more irritable, more introspective. They’re watching everything. They want honesty, but not intensity. They want reassurance, but not babying. And underneath their heavy sighs and closed bedroom doors, there is often a softer layer: “I hope we can still do movie nights.” “I’m scared that holidays won’t feel the same.” “I don’t like when you two sound upset.” At this age, identity and social belonging are incredibly important. Divorce can make them feel different from their peers, or it may feel like an embarrassment they don’t want to explain at school. **What matters most to them: Emotional safety. Respect. Space to feel awkward or unsure. The sense that both parents are still in their corner. A preteen thrives when parents are calm, collaborative, and emotionally available without oversharing. When you say, **“You don’t have to take care of my feelings. I’m the parent, and I’m okay,” you give them room to breathe. **Ages 14–17: Young Adults With Deep Feelings and Big Questions** Teenagers are capable of immense insight—but they also experience emotions with an intensity that can surprise you. They may respond to divorce with confidence, indifference, anger, relief, or a shifting combination of all of the above. Some express themselves clearly: ***“I get it. You both deserve to be happy.”*** Others pull away: ***“I’m fine. It’s whatever.”*** And others vacillate: ***“I’ll deal with it. I just want to think.”*** Teenagers are asking bigger questions: ***“What does this mean for my future?” *“Who will help with college?” *“What will holidays look like?” *“Do I need to act different now?”*** They want honesty—not sugarcoating—but they also want emotional boundaries. One teen once told me: “I don’t want to know the marriage problems. I just want to know the plan.” That quote captures the teenage heart perfectly: They want transparency, but not burden. They want autonomy, but also reassurance. They want steady parents who are not drowning in conflict. **What matters most to them: Respect for their growing independence, a stable plan, and the freedom to feel however they feel without guilt. # **How to Reassure Your Child at Every Age** No matter how thoughtfully you approach your separation, your child will look to you for cues about safety, stability, and love. The words you choose and the energy you bring into your home can dramatically shape how they experience this transition. Here are some gentle, age-appropriate ways to support and reassure your child during divorce—simple gestures and phrases that help them feel anchored even while their world is shifting. ### **For Ages 3–6: Reassurance Through Routines and Gentle Words** Little ones respond first to tone, then to touch, and lastly to explanations. Getting down to their eye level, holding their hand, or sitting beside them helps them feel secure before any words are spoken. You might say: **“You didn’t cause this. You are safe. Mommy and Daddy love you so much, and that will never change.”** Reading the same bedtime book in both homes, keeping a favorite stuffed animal available, and maintaining predictable routines—bath time, snacks, bedtime songs—gives them a sense of continuity that feels like emotional glue. ### **For Ages 7–10: Clarity and Consistency Calm Their Worries** Children in this stage want to understand “the plan.” They feel safest when expectations are clear and the adults around them stay steady. You can reassure them with language like: **“We have a schedule that keeps you connected to both of us. You will always know what’s happening, and you can always ask questions.”** Giving them a simple weekly calendar, letting them help choose where certain belongings go, and promising to keep important routines the same helps them feel grounded and part of the process without feeling responsible for it. ### **For Ages 11–13: Emotional Permission and Honest, Gentle Truths** Preteens need to know they can feel however they feel without guilt. They also appreciate honesty as long as it’s not heavy. Try saying: **“It’s okay to feel sad, confused, or even nothing at all. You don’t need to protect me from your feelings—I’m here to support you.”** Inviting them to share their thoughts on transitions, offering quiet opportunities for one-on-one time (like car rides or walks), and reminding them they are never stuck between parents helps them feel respected and emotionally safe. ### **For Ages 14–17: Respect, Autonomy, and Transparent Reassurance** Teenagers value authenticity and independence. They don’t want to be managed; they want to be included. Something like this can mean everything: **“We trust you. We respect your feelings. You get to have your own opinions about this, and you will always have a home with both of us.”** Sharing plans openly (without oversharing marital details), asking for their input on practical things, and reminding them that your love for them remains unwavering—even as they prepare for adulthood—gives them both agency and emotional stability. **What Children of All Ages Need Most During Divorce** While every developmental stage has its own emotional landscape, there are universal needs that anchor children throughout the transition. Children want to feel: ### **1. Loved without conditions** Not loved because the schedule allows it. Not loved differently because the marriage is ending. Just loved. ### **2. Safe in their home life** The more predictable the routine, the calmer the child. ### **3. Seen and heard** Even if you can’t fix what they’re feeling, acknowledging it builds trust. ### **4. Protected from adult conflict** When parents manage the separation with dignity, children feel emotionally secure. ### **5. Connected to both parents** Most children naturally want to maintain strong relationships with both of you. They don’t want to choose loyalties. **A Hopeful Truth: Divorce Does Not Break Children — Disconnection Does** When parents approach divorce intentionally, children learn powerful lessons: - They learn that relationships can evolve without becoming destructive. - They learn that adults can disagree and still treat each other with respect. - They learn that emotional honesty and boundaries can coexist. - They learn that they are safe, loved, and supported. And they learn that a family doesn’t end when a marriage ends. It simply reshapes itself. **Your Role as a Parent in This Transition** You do not have to be perfect. You do not have to have every answer. You do not have to navigate this without support. What matters most is presence. Calm. Reassurance. And a commitment to creating a peaceful co-parenting environment that centers the child’s emotional needs. If you’re reading this, you’re already doing something profoundly important: **You’re trying. You’re learning. You’re caring.** That alone makes a world of difference for your child. **If You’re in Denver and Need Guidance, I’m Here to Help** As a **Divorce Coach serving the SW Denver Metro area**, I walk alongside parents who want to approach divorce with clarity, dignity, and a deep awareness of what their children need at each stage. Together, we create: - Language that supports your child emotionally - Co-parenting plans that prioritize stability - Communication strategies that reduce conflict - Routines that help children feel safe and grounded - A roadmap for navigating the hardest conversations with grace You don’t have to guess what your child needs. You don’t have to do this alone. And you don’t have to choose between a peaceful separation and a strong family foundation—you can have both. Your child’s story is still unfolding, and there is so much hope woven into the pages ahead. I’d be honored to support you on that journey. — **Caroline** --- **About the Author** ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot-300x300.png)**Caroline McKinnon is a Divorce Coach and Mediator serving the SW Denver Metro area, helping parents navigate separation with clarity, compassion, and dignity.** Her work is grounded in a child-centered, emotionally informed approach that supports families through transition without unnecessary conflict. Caroline specializes in helping parents communicate with confidence, create stable co-parenting plans, and stay focused on what matters most—the well-being of their children. **If you’re navigating divorce and want support that keeps your family grounded and connected, Caroline is here to help.** 👉 [*Schedule a confidential Discovery Call to learn more.*](https://go.oncehub.com/CarolineMcKinnon) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Children and Divorce Rates, Co-Parenting, Custody, Divorce Coaching, Mediation **Tags:** age appropriate divorce support, child-centered divorce approach, child’s perspective divorce, co-parenting guidance, conscious uncoupling support, denver family mediation, divorce coach denver, divorce guidance for parents, divorce transitions for families, divorce with dignity, emotional support for children, helping children through divorce, helping kids feel safe in divorce, impact of divorce on children, parenting during divorce, peaceful divorce denver, supporting kids in divorce --- ### [Divorce Coaching: Building Clarity, Calm, and Cooperation Through Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-coaching-building-clarity-calm-and-cooperation-through-divorce/) **Published:** October 28, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Divorce can shake every part of your world — your emotions, your finances, even your sense of who you are. The decisions are big, the pace is fast, and the stakes feel high. Even when both partners want a respectful, cooperative process, it’s easy to get swept into conflict or confusion. That’s where **divorce coaching** can make all the difference. As both a **mediator and divorce coach**, I’ve seen that people don’t just need legal or logistical help during divorce — they need **clarity, communication skills, and emotional steadiness** to move through the process with dignity. Coaching provides that foundation, either **individually or together as a couple**, often making mediation smoother and more productive. ## **What Divorce Coaching Really Is** Divorce coaching is a **goal-oriented, practical support process** designed to help people navigate divorce with more confidence, less conflict, and a clear plan for what comes next. It’s not therapy. It’s not legal representation. It’s structured guidance that keeps you focused, calm, and intentional through every stage of transition — whether you’re still deciding how to proceed or already in mediation. In simple terms: **divorce coaching is preparation and perspective.** It helps you: - Understand your priorities before decisions are made - Communicate effectively under stress - Approach discussions with clarity rather than emotion - Stay organized and forward-focused When you feel steady and informed, you bring that energy into mediation — and that’s where real progress happens. ## **Individual Coaching vs. Couples Coaching** Divorce coaching can be tailored to either one person or both. ### **Individual Coaching** For one-on-one clients, coaching focuses on **self-management** — clarifying goals, preparing for conversations, handling triggers, and staying grounded through uncertainty. You might use individual coaching if: - You feel anxious or unprepared for mediation - You want to improve your communication and confidence - You’re struggling to make clear decisions - You need a neutral space to plan, reflect, and reset ### **Couples Coaching** In some cases, both spouses work with a divorce coach **together** (outside of mediation sessions). This type of coaching can: - Strengthen communication before mediation begins - Help both parties articulate what matters most - Identify shared goals (such as stability for children) - Build skills for respectful negotiation - Lay groundwork for cooperative co-parenting Couples coaching isn’t about reconciliation or therapy. It’s about **learning to navigate divorce together without hostility** — so mediation can focus on problem-solving, not emotional repair. ## **How Divorce Coaching Complements Mediation** Because I serve as both mediator and coach, I want to be clear: **Mediation and coaching are not competing services.** They’re complementary stages of the same journey. Mediation is where the **agreements are made**. Coaching is where the **people prepare to make them well**. Here’s how they work together: **Coaching Focus****Mediation Focus**Emotional readiness and communication skillsStructured negotiation and agreement-buildingClarifying goals, values, and deal-breakersTurning those goals into practical, legal termsManaging reactions and conflict patternsFacilitating balanced, respectful dialogueStaying grounded between sessionsResolving specific issues efficientlyPost-divorce adjustment and co-parenting toolsDocumenting and finalizing termsWhen clients have done coaching before or alongside mediation, sessions tend to be calmer, faster, and more productive. You arrive ready to focus on *solutions* rather than rehashing the past. ## **The Benefits of Divorce Coaching** ### **1. Clarity** Coaching helps you sort through the noise — emotional, logistical, or external — so you know what truly matters before you sit down to negotiate. You’ll be able to say, “Here’s what I value most,” instead of “I don’t even know what I want.” ### **2. Confidence** With a plan in place and a better understanding of the process, you feel empowered to speak up, ask questions, and make thoughtful decisions. ### **3. Calm** Divorce can trigger powerful emotions. Coaching provides tools to recognize and manage them, keeping you centered even when conversations get tense. ### **4. Communication** Coaching teaches clear, respectful communication that makes mediation smoother — and co-parenting healthier in the long run. ### **5. Cooperation** When both partners have support, they’re more likely to engage in mediation collaboratively rather than defensively. That mindset saves time, money, and stress. ### **6. Continuity** Coaching continues after the decree — helping you adjust to post-divorce life, refine co-parenting routines, and rebuild confidence in your next chapter. ## **What Divorce Coaching Looks Like** Every coaching plan is unique, but most follow a rhythm that aligns with the divorce process: ### **Step 1: Clarify Your Goals** We begin by identifying what matters most — for you, your children, and your future. That clarity becomes your compass for every decision that follows. ### **Step 2: Create Your Roadmap** Together, we outline next steps: preparing for mediation, organizing documents, and setting up communication systems that lower stress and confusion. ### **Step 3: Build Tools & Skills** We work through real scenarios — texts, emails, or upcoming conversations — so you feel equipped to handle them calmly and effectively. ### **Step 4: Prepare for Mediation** We review potential discussion points, anticipate challenges, and strengthen your ability to stay solution-focused in the room. ### **Step 5: Transition Gracefully** After agreements are reached, coaching can help you implement them — especially around co-parenting, boundaries, and rebuilding your life with confidence. This process can be short-term (a few sessions of preparation) or ongoing (support throughout the divorce timeline). The goal is always the same: **help you stay clear, calm, and cooperative.** ## **A Real Example** *(Details changed for privacy.)* “Melissa and Rob” had been married for 18 years. They wanted a peaceful divorce but couldn’t seem to get through a conversation without re-litigating old arguments. Both agreed to mediation — but their first session left them frustrated and stuck. They decided to do a few coaching sessions together. We focused on communication ground rules, recognizing triggers, and defining what a “respectful divorce” would look like for them. By their next mediation session, the difference was remarkable. They came prepared, spoke calmly, and reached agreement on major issues in a single day. Coaching didn’t replace mediation — it **made it work better**. ## **Common Questions** ### **Do we both have to do coaching?** No. Many clients work individually. But when both parties participate (even separately), the process becomes far smoother because both are learning tools for clarity and calm. ### **Is this therapy?** No. Coaching is present- and future-focused. We don’t analyze childhood patterns; we build skills and strategies to help you make confident decisions now. ### **If you’re my mediator, can you also be my coach?** Typically, the roles are separate to maintain neutrality. I can serve as a neutral mediator for both parties or as a coach for one or both — but not both roles at once. If I’m coaching one party, I’ll refer you to another trusted DWD mediator for the actual mediation sessions. ### **Can divorce coaching replace mediation?** No. Mediation is where legal agreements are crafted. Coaching prepares you for mediation and supports you in following through on agreements afterward. ### **When should I start coaching?** Ideally, as early as possible — even before filing. The sooner you have clarity and calm, the more peaceful your process will be. ## **Why Divorce Coaching Matters Now** Today’s divorces are more complex than ever — not just legally, but emotionally and logistically. Between co-parenting apps, digital finances, and high-stress lifestyles, couples need new skills to communicate well under pressure. Coaching fills that gap. It’s proactive, not reactive. Instead of waiting until mediation breaks down, coaching gives you the mindset and tools to **keep it on track from day one.** It’s also confidential, flexible, and designed for your real life. Whether you meet in person or online, sessions are focused, compassionate, and actionable — so you can move forward each week feeling lighter and more capable. ## **A Peaceful Divorce Is Possible** Divorce doesn’t have to mean devastation. It can be a turning point — a moment of self-respect, calm communication, and cooperative planning for the future. Coaching helps you get there. By pairing coaching with mediation, you create the strongest path possible: - Coaching prepares your mindset and plan. - Mediation resolves your agreements and turns them into action. Together, they transform what could be a battle into a **dignified, cooperative transition. ## ***Ready to Begin?*** *If you’re ready to handle your divorce with clarity and composure — or if you’re a couple who wants to preserve respect while working through tough decisions — divorce coaching can help.* *Whether you need individual guidance, couples preparation, or full coaching-plus-mediation support, I’m here to help you move forward with strength and peace.* [***Schedule a confidential consultation***](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/) *to learn how we can tailor coaching to your needs — and set the stage for a smoother, more peaceful divorce.* ### ***About Michael Lemon*** ![Michael Lemon, Attorney, Mediator, Divorce Coach, Divorce With Dignity - Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/3-Michael-Lemon-Attorney-Mediator-Divorce-Coach-300x300.avif)Michael Lemon, Attorney, Mediator, Divorce Coach, Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia *Michael Lemon is a* ***divorce coach, mediator, and attorney*** *who has dedicated his career to helping Georgia families navigate separation and divorce with dignity. Drawing on more than two decades of experience in law and conflict resolution, Michael brings a calm, compassionate, and deeply practical approach to one of life’s most difficult transitions.* *He believes that when people are given the right tools and support, divorce doesn’t have to destroy relationships or drain finances—it can become an opportunity to reset life with clarity, confidence, and mutual respect.* *Michael is known for his steady, reassuring presence and his ability to translate complex emotional and legal issues into clear next steps. His work emphasizes* ***communication, emotional steadiness, and thoughtful planning****—helping individuals and couples alike find resolution without unnecessary conflict.* *Based in* ***Middle Georgia****, Michael serves clients both locally and virtually, supporting those who want a* ***peaceful, cooperative, and affordable alternative to traditional litigation****. Whether through coaching, mediation, or both, his goal is simple: to help families move forward with stability, compassion, and dignity intact.* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Coaching, Divorce in Georgia, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce Georgia, cooperative divorce, divorce coach for couples, divorce coach Georgia, divorce coach near me, divorce coaching, divorce coaching vs mediation, divorce mediation support, mediation preparation, peaceful divorce --- ### [How to Prepare for Divorce — What to Expect Emotionally and How to Navigate the Journey With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-prepare-for-divorce-what-to-expect-emotionally-and-how-to-navigate-the-journey-with-dignity/) **Published:** December 11, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** *By Michael Lemon, Esq. — Divorce With Dignity — Middle Georgia* When you start thinking about divorce, it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions — uncertainty, anxiety, relief, and even hope. Divorce is a major life transition that affects many aspects of your world — from your relationships and finances to your sense of identity and future. But what many people don’t realize is that preparing emotionally before you begin the legal process can make a profound difference in how you move through this season of life. At **Divorce With Dignity in Middle Georgia**, I help families navigate divorce with clarity, calm, and cooperation — and that starts with understanding what to expect emotionally and how to prepare for it step by step. ## **Why Preparation Matters — Beyond Paperwork** Most people think of divorce as something legal and practical — filing forms, dividing assets, deciding custody. Those things are important, yes, but they’re only part of what’s happening. Divorce is also a **human, emotional journey**. How you prepare for it on the inside affects how you behave on the outside — in negotiations, with your spouse, and with your children. A strong emotional foundation doesn’t eliminate the difficulty of divorce, but it *transforms* the way you approach each challenge. When you understand your emotions, acknowledge them, and learn how to manage them, you make decisions from a place of strength and clarity — not fear or stress. ## **Step 1 — Acknowledge What You’re Feeling** The first part of preparing emotionally is simple in concept but profound in impact: **acknowledge your feelings without judgment**. Divorce brings a complex mix of emotions. You might feel: - **Sadness** for the life and dreams that are ending. - **Fear** about the future — financially, socially, emotionally. - **Relief** that a difficult situation is changing. - **Anger or frustration** about past hurts. - **Confusion** about what to do next. All of these feelings are normal. They don’t mean you’re weak. They mean you’re human. Accepting your emotions — instead of suppressing them — helps you understand what you need as you prepare to move forward. Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t the legal process — it’s saying to yourself: *“This is real. I’m allowing myself to feel this.”* Once you do that, you can begin to carry these feelings instead of being carried by them. ## **Step 2 — Get Clear on Your Goals and Values** One of the biggest emotional challenges in divorce is feeling out of control. You may be wondering, *“What will life look like after this?”* or *“How do I make wise choices when I’m overwhelmed?”* A powerful way to begin answering those questions is with clarity — knowing what you value most and what kind of life you want after your marriage transitions into something new. Ask yourself: **What do I want for my children? **What kind of relationship do I want with my spouse after divorce? **What does financial stability look like to me? **What kind of daily life do I want to build for myself?** This isn’t about rigid planning — it’s about *vision.* What do you want your next chapter to look like? When you have a guiding vision, it becomes easier to make decisions that align with who you want to be and what you want your life to become. ## **Step 3 — Build Your Support System** Divorce can feel lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. Before you begin the legal process, take time to build support that can sustain you — emotionally, practically, and spiritually. Having trusted people in your corner makes a tremendous difference. This support system might include: - A trusted friend or family member who listens without judgment. - A therapist who helps you process your emotions. - A financial planner or advisor. - A divorce coach or mediator who can guide you through the process. - Support groups where you can share experiences and learn from others. You don’t have to go through divorce alone. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a sign of wisdom and resilience. ## **Step 4 — Understand the Legal and Practical Landscape** Emotionally preparing for divorce also includes getting informed about the practical side of things. Knowing *what to expect* in the legal process helps reduce anxiety and uncertainty. Start gathering information about: - Property and debt division - Financial documents and assets - Custody options and child support questions - What mediation or negotiation looks like vs. litigation Even if you plan to use mediation (which I often recommend for a dignified and cost-effective process), having basic knowledge can give you confidence going into conversations and decisions. ## **Step 5 — Anticipate Emotional Realities — Not Just Legal Ones** Divorce isn’t simply a legal transaction — it’s a human unraveling. Many people expect the legal process to be hard, but they’re not prepared for the emotional shifts that come afterward. You may experience: - **Grief** — even if you chose divorce, you may grieve the life you imagined. - **Anxiety** — uncertainty about the future can feel heavy. - **Relief** — especially if the marriage was difficult or conflict-based. - **Identity shifts** — you may feel like you’re relearning who you are. These feelings don’t mean you’re making a mistake. They’re part of the healing and growth process. Accepting that emotions will ebb and flow — like waves — helps you stay resilient and grounded. You’re not “broken” because you struggle. You’re becoming human again on your own terms. ## **Step 6 — Practice Compassion — for Yourself and Others** Divorce is emotional not because it means failure, but because it touches the deepest parts of our lives — love, identity, belonging, family. Being compassionate isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about choosing kindness — especially when things are hard. Be compassionate with yourself when: - You have a day that feels overwhelming. - You make mistakes in communication. - You feel tired, sad, or unsure. And if you can, practice compassion toward your spouse too — not because you have to be best friends, but because respect and empathy lay the groundwork for *peaceful collaboration, healthy co-parenting, and dignity.* Divorce doesn’t have to be a battleground. It can be a transition that honors your past, protects your children, and prepares you for a hopeful future. ## **Step 7 — Look Toward Your Future With Hope** Finally, one of the most powerful ways to emotionally prepare for divorce is to *remember that this is not the end of your story.* It is a chapter — sometimes difficult, sometimes messy, but not the final one. You will rediscover parts of yourself you may have lost along the way. You will create routines and experiences that bring joy again. You will rebuild confidence. You will form new connections. Life after divorce may look different, but it can be *rich, meaningful, and deeply fulfilling.* Divorce doesn’t take away your future — it reshapes it. ## **How I Help Families in Middle Georgia** If you’re unsure where to begin, you’re not alone. At **Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia**, I help families just like yours: - Clarify the divorce process - Build emotional and practical readiness - Work through conflict using mediation - Develop co-parenting agreements that protect children - Create plans that support dignity, respect, and peace You don’t need to prepare perfectly — you just need to start. I’ll walk with you through each step, helping you make wise decisions that serve your long-term well-being. Divorce isn’t just a legal event — it’s a transition in life. And with preparation, support, and intention, you can emerge from it stronger, clearer, and ready for the next chapter. # **About the Author** **Michael Lemon, Esq., is the owner of Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia and a mediator, and attorney offering families a calmer, more cooperative alternative to traditional litigation.** With his balanced, steady approach, Michael helps clients navigate both the emotional and practical sides of divorce so they can make clear, confident decisions that protect their well-being and their children’s future. His practice is built on respect, clarity, and dignity — guiding families toward healthier outcomes and peaceful next chapters. **If you’re preparing for divorce and want support that keeps you grounded, informed, and in control, Michael is here to help. 👉 *[Schedule your confidential Discovery Call today](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/).* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Coaching, Divorce in Georgia, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce support, co parenting after divorce georgia, divorce coach middle georgia, divorce emotional stages, divorce guidance georgia, divorce readiness steps, divorce transition support, divorce with dignity Georgia, emotional preparation for divorce, georgia divorce mediator, how to prepare for divorce, michael lemon divorce coach, middle georgia mediation, peaceful divorce georgia, preparing for divorce checklist --- ### [Meet Dr. Breyette Lorntz — Your Calm, Confident Guide Through Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/meet-dr-breyette-lorntz-your-calm-confident-guide-through-divorce/) **Published:** December 1, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** Divorce doesn’t have to feel chaotic or adversarial. Meet Dr. Breyette Lorntz, a Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator helping Central Virginia families move forward with clarity, dignity, and stability — without going to court. Discover a calmer, more supportive way through separation. **Content:** Divorce is one of life’s major turning points. It affects your home, your finances, your children, your future, and your heart — all at once. And yet too often, the system designed to help couples separate only intensifies stress and conflict. At Divorce With Dignity, we believe there is a better way. Today, we are thrilled to announce a new resource for families across Central Virginia: **Divorce With Dignity – Central Virginia Corridor led by **Breyette Lorntz, PhD**, a **Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator** dedicated to guiding families through divorce with clarity, calm, and dignity. This is not just another divorce service. It’s a supportive, human-centered approach designed to keep you out of court, out of conflict, and in control of your own future. And Breyette is the perfect person to bring that mission to life in Virginia. ## **Why Breyette?** ### **A Mediator Who Leads With Empathy, Intelligence, and Structure** Families who meet Breyette immediately notice something different: a grounded, steady presence who truly listens and helps you breathe a little easier. As a certified mediator, she’s trained to guide difficult conversations without judgment or pressure — and as a communication expert with a PhD, she helps people express what they need with clarity and respect. In moments that feel chaotic, Breyette brings calm direction and a focus on what comes next. > “Divorce shouldn’t take away your dignity. I help people make decisions with clarity — not chaos.” — Dr. Breyette Lorntz ## **Who She Is Beyond the Credentials** Divorce is not only a legal transition — it’s emotional, relational, and deeply personal. Breyette understands that humans don’t function at their best when they’re scared or overwhelmed. Her work is rooted in decades of studying how people communicate under stress — what shuts conversations down, and what opens them up. That lens shapes every session she leads. Clients say she helps them: - slow the pace of conflict - feel comfortable speaking honestly - move from tension into understanding - think clearly through hard decisions This kind of support doesn’t show up in a court order — but it transforms outcomes. > “I’m not here to take sides. I’m here to help you stay focused on what supports your future.” — Dr. Lorntz ## **What Drives Her** This work is personal to Breyette. She believes: ✔ conflict doesn’t define a family’s future ✔ dignity should never be lost in divorce ✔ children deserve a peaceful transition ✔ clarity is possible, even in uncertainty ✔ both people deserve respect during the process Mediation allows her to ensure those values shape the path forward — for every couple she works with. ## **How Her Approach Supports You** Breyette’s style blends: - **Structure** — decisions become manageable, not overwhelming - **Neutrality** — both people are equally supported - **Communication skill** — complicated conversations become possible - **Human connection** — less fear, more collaboration Her goal isn’t just reaching agreement — it’s helping you reach **good** agreements, ones that feel fair, workable, and aligned with your priorities. ## **Meeting You Where You Are** Every family arrives with a different story. Whether you’re: - still deciding what to do - already living separately - trying to protect your children from conflict - unsure how to talk about finances - in agreement on most things — or very few She helps you take a clear, steady step forward. Clients describe her as: - patient - nonjudgmental - grounding - compassionate - a skilled guide through emotional territory She helps you focus on the future, not re-fight the past. ## **A Neutral Guide When You Need It Most** Mediation is about maintaining control over your own life. That means: ✔ You make the decisions ✔ You set the pace ✔ You keep conversations private ✔ You design solutions that actually fit your family Breyette is there to keep communication respectful, focused, and productive — even when things have been tough for a long time. Through mediation, you keep your voice, your privacy, and your peace. ## **A Clear, Calm Process — Step by Step** Divorce includes many important decisions. Breyette helps you navigate them with structure: 1️⃣ Identify what needs to be decided 2️⃣ Share information needed for clarity 3️⃣ Explore and evaluate your options 4️⃣ Reach decisions you both can live with 5️⃣ Summarize agreements clearly so you can move forward > “When the process is organized and respectful, solutions become easier to find.” — Dr. Lorntz ## **Mediation Designed for Families With Children** Co-parenting is a lifelong relationship. How you build that relationship during divorce matters. She supports parents in: - creating child-centered parenting plans - establishing smooth transitions between homes - protecting children from conflict - defining healthy communication approaches Children thrive when parents collaborate — mediation makes that possible. ## **Protecting Your Financial Stability** Court battles drain resources. Mediation conserves them. It is typically: - lower in cost - faster in duration - more in your control She helps you discuss: - home transitions - budgeting for two households - shared expenses - support decisions - timelines for change The focus isn’t on “winning.” It’s on building a stable tomorrow. ## **Serving Central Virginia** Whether meeting in person or online, the support remains steady and confidential. Online mediation can help when: - distance is a factor - emotions need space - schedules are tight - privacy matters As long as both of you are in Virginia, you can mediate from anywhere. ## **A Supportive First Step** You don’t have to commit to mediation before you understand it. A **Free Discovery Session** gives you: - clarity around what comes next - confidence that you have options - a safe place to ask questions - a sense of who will guide you Sometimes one calm conversation is enough to feel hopeful again. ## **Why Divorce With Dignity** DWD has a long history of helping people separate without destroying their emotional or financial wellbeing — and without turning loved ones into opponents. Our network stands for: - dignity - respect - clear communication - child-first planning - sustainable agreements - reduced stress and cost And now — with Breyette — Central Virginia has a new and trusted resource for this work. ## **Today Is a Positive Turning Point** We are honored to welcome Dr. Breyette Lorntz to Divorce With Dignity and thrilled for the families who will be supported by her steadiness and skill. For the parents who want to protect their children… For the couples who want closure, not conflict… For the person who wants to breathe again… She is here. And she’s ready to help. --- ### **Start Your Mediation Journey Today** 📞 Call/Text: **434-207-8015 🌐 Visit: [**centralva.dwdignity.com**](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-mediation-in-central-virginia-with-breyette-lorntz/) 📆 Book: [**Free Discovery Session**](https://go.oncehub.com/BreyetteLorntz) **A respectful path forward is possible.** **You deserve clarity, stability, and dignity.** **And you do not have to do this alone.** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Mediation, Provider Spotlight **Tags:** affordable divorce options, amicable divorce, Augusta County Mediation, Central Virginia Divorce Mediation, Charlottesville Mediation, co-parenting mediation, Collaborative Divorce Alternative, Conflict Resolution VA, divorce mediation, divorce with dignity, Family Mediation VA, Online Divorce Mediation Virginia, Parenting Plans Virginia, respectful divorce, Separation Support, Stay Out of Court, Virginia Mediation Services, Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator --- ### [The Hardest Realization After Thanksgiving: It's Over](https://dwdignity.com/the-hardest-realization-after-thanksgiving-its-over/) **Published:** November 29, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time of gratitude, family, comfort, and connection. For many couples, it is also one of the hardest holidays to survive when a marriage is struggling. There are expectations to smile for family photos, to laugh at the dinner table, to pretend everything is okay. But now the guests have gone home, the leftovers are shrinking, and you’re finally able to face the silence that follows. And maybe in that silence, a painful truth has settled in: ***You can’t keep living like this.*** If you’re waking up two days after Thanksgiving with that sinking feeling in your chest — that something is truly broken in your marriage — you are not alone. Many people have this realization during the holidays, when pressure rises and the cracks become impossible to ignore. **This moment is scary. It can feel overwhelming. But it can also be the start of something healthier and more honest.** You deserve clarity. You deserve calm. You deserve a path forward. ## **When You Can’t Pretend Anymore** Maybe you’ve tried to hold things together for the kids. Maybe you’ve told yourself, “It will get better after the holidays.” Maybe you’ve been pushing down the hurt for months, even years. But this Thanksgiving, something was different. You noticed: - Conversations that felt cold or nonexistent - Disconnection that made the holiday feel like an act or performance - A heavy loneliness even though you weren’t physically alone - A sense that you’re trying harder to keep up appearances than to keep the relationship alive These are not small signals. When the outside world focuses on gratitude, the absence of peace inside your home becomes louder. This may not be the first time you’ve wondered whether your marriage is sustainable. But it might be the first time you’re ready to be honest with yourself about it. **Recognizing the truth is not a failure. It is the beginning of healing.** ## **You Have More Options Than You Think** Most people believe divorce automatically means a courtroom fight. Arguing. Lawyers battling. Winning and losing. It feels like blowing up a family instead of transitioning a relationship. That assumption keeps many people stuck in situations that hurt everyone, especially children. But here in Georgia, you have choices. And one of the most compassionate, respectful solutions is mediation — a process designed to help families resolve conflict without a war. As someone who has spent years in litigation, I have seen the toll that courtroom battles take. Financially. Emotionally. Spiritually. I have also seen how mediation gives families stability, control, and a healthier future. You do not lose your dignity just because your marriage ends. In fact, the way you handle this moment can protect your dignity — and your children — more than anything else. ## **The Traditional Divorce Path: What It Really Looks Like** Courts are designed for conflict. Winning and losing. Strategy and attack. In a litigated divorce: - Communication collapses - Money drains faster than you expect - Months or even years pass in uncertainty - Children feel caught in the middle - The outcome may be decided by a judge who doesn’t know you, your history, or your values It is a process that often leaves everyone more exhausted — and with less to rebuild a future on. If you’ve been through litigation or know someone who has, you understand exactly what that looks like. I’ve sat beside clients in those experiences. I know firsthand how damaging that road can be. ## **The Mediation Path: A Healthier Way Through** Mediation is different. Instead of a fight, it is a guided conversation. Instead of destroying relationships, it focuses on helping you create a peaceful path forward. You and your spouse — not a judge — make the decisions that will shape your future. Mediation supports: - Clear communication - Fair and peaceful financial agreements - Thoughtful co-parenting plans - Reduced cost and confusion - A faster and calmer process - Privacy that keeps your story out of the courtroom Most importantly: It preserves dignity and gives everyone a chance to heal. If you share children, mediation lays the foundation for a cooperative future — one where kids feel loved and protected, not torn and anxious. You may not be able to stay married, but you can still protect your family. ## **When You’re Not Ready to Say “Divorce”** Some people know their marriage is ending but still need time before making anything final. Georgia allows families to create clear boundaries and establish financial and parenting arrangements while they live separately. It can serve as a transition period toward a decision that’s made with full consideration — not in panic or crisis. Separation can give you space. It can give you perspective. It can give your children stability as you and your spouse figure out the right long-term solution. You do not have to rush. You simply need a plan. ## **The Most Important Step Right Now: Protect Your Clarity** When emotions are heavy, decisions can feel impossible. That’s why the very first step isn’t paperwork. It isn’t filing anything. It isn’t even talking to your spouse. The first step is gaining clarity about what’s truly going on — and what you need and deserve next. You may be: - Afraid of hurting your children - Afraid of the financial impact - Afraid of being alone - Afraid of becoming “the one who ended it” Fear is powerful. It keeps people stuck in limbo for years. But clarity is stronger. Clarity helps you move forward thoughtfully rather than reactively. Clarity helps you protect your future. And clarity comes from talking with someone who understands what you’re facing — and who sees the whole road ahead. ## **You Are Not Just Ending a Marriage — You Are Building a Future** At Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia, my role is to walk with you calmly through this moment — without pressure and without judgment. I help people: - Understand their true options - Sort through the confusion and overwhelm - Make decisions that strengthen their future - Prioritize their children’s stability and emotional well-being - Preserve finances for rebuilding rather than fighting - Move forward with confidence instead of fear Every person deserves respect. Every family deserves stability. Every ending deserves dignity. Especially yours. ## **What You Can Do Today** There is no timeline you must follow. No deadline for choosing. But there are gentle steps that can help you start breathing again: 1. Give yourself permission to acknowledge the truth. 2. Write down what feels unsustainable — what must change. 3. Think about what a peaceful future could look like for you and your children. 4. Reach out to someone trained to help you think clearly during this emotional season. You do not have to decide everything today. You just need to take the next right step. And that step can be as simple as a private conversation where you ask questions and explore options — confidentially and without pressure. ## **It’s Okay to Want Peace** There is strength in knowing when something must change. There is courage in choosing stability over conflict. There is dignity in building a new future with honesty, respect, and compassion. Your marriage may be ending. But your life is not. You can move forward in a way that aligns with your values. If you’re in Middle Georgia and you need guidance, a sounding board, or a plan — I’m here to help you find clarity, confidence, and a peaceful way forward. You are not alone. And you don’t have to navigate this in the dark. When you’re ready, reach out. You deserve a future that feels calm, safe, and hopeful. --- **About the Author ![Michael Lemon, Esq. - Divorce With Dignity - Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Michael-Lemon-Esq-Divorce-With-Dignity-Middle-Georgia-Circle-Headshot-300x300.avif)**Michael Lemon, Esq.** is a family mediator and attorney serving Middle Georgia families who want a calmer, more respectful way to move forward during divorce. With a background in litigation, Michael understands firsthand the emotional and financial toll courtroom battles create — and is committed to helping parents protect their peace, preserve resources, and prioritize their children. Through [Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/), he guides individuals and couples to resolve conflict with clarity, stability, and dignity. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Holidays, Is It Time To Divorce?, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce Georgia, attorney mediator Georgia, avoid court divorce Georgia, Bibb County divorce help, calm divorce process Georgia, dignified divorce Middle GA, divorce after Thanksgiving, divorce help Macon GA, divorce options in Georgia, family mediation Middle Georgia, Georgia divorce mediation, Houston County family mediation, how to know marriage is over, Middle Georgia divorce, Middle Georgia family mediator, peaceful divorce Middle Georgia, post-holiday divorce, separation options Georgia, Warner Robins divorce mediation, when marriage isn’t working --- ### [How Amicable Divorce Mediation Works in SW Denver Metro (and Why It Helps You Avoid Court)](https://dwdignity.com/how-amicable-divorce-mediation-works-in-sw-denver-metro-and-why-it-helps-you-avoid-court/) **Published:** November 19, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** *By Caroline McKinnon – Divorce Mediator, SW Denver Metro Divorce is never easy, but the process you choose can make a significant difference in how you move through it — emotionally, financially, and logistically. For many couples in Littleton, Highlands Ranch, Centennial, Englewood, and across the SW Denver Metro area, **amicable divorce mediation** is becoming the preferred alternative to litigation. If you and your spouse want a respectful path forward, want to protect your children from unnecessary conflict, or simply want a more organized, cost-effective way to handle separation, mediation may be the right fit. In this article, I’ll walk you through **what amicable divorce mediation is**, **how it works**, **why it helps you avoid court**, and **what you can expect when working with a neutral mediator in the Denver area**. My goal is to give you a clear, practical understanding of the mediation process so you can decide whether it aligns with what you need. # **What Does “Amicable Divorce” Really Mean?** “Amicable” does *not* mean that everything is easy, or that you both fully agree on every issue. In the context of divorce, *amicable* means: - You want to handle things respectfully - You want to avoid unnecessary fighting or escalations - You’re willing to sit at the same table (in the same Zoom room) for structured conversation - You’re open to a practical, organized process - You want to make decisions thoughtfully and privately Most couples I work with are not in full agreement when they arrive. Many are dealing with major communication challenges. “Amicable” simply means you want to work toward solutions rather than invest energy into conflict or court battles. # **Why More Couples in Denver Are Choosing Mediation Instead of Court** Across Colorado — especially in SW Denver communities like Littleton, Highlands Ranch, and Centennial — couples are increasingly turning to mediation to manage their divorce or separation. Here are the main reasons I hear again and again: ### **1. You avoid the courtroom stress** Court proceedings are public, time-consuming, and unpredictable. Mediation allows you to stay in control instead of leaving decisions to a judge. ### **2. It’s significantly more cost-effective** Litigation can cost thousands to tens of thousands per person. Mediation is usually a fraction of that. ### **3. It protects your co-parenting relationship** When you have children, your relationship doesn’t end — it simply changes. Mediation supports healthier communication and reduces damage that can make co-parenting harder. ### **4. You create customized agreements** Judges must follow legal standards. Mediated agreements can consider: - Your actual schedules - Your financial realities - Your parenting needs - Your life circumstances ### **5. It’s private** Nothing discussed in mediation becomes part of the public record. ### **6. You can move at a reasonable pace** The court calendar is often slow. Mediation can happen on your schedule. ### **7. It reduces overwhelm and confusion** A structured mediator keeps conversations organized and manageable. If your priority is to navigate divorce efficiently and respectfully, mediation aligns well with those values. # **What Is Divorce Mediation — and What Does a Mediator Actually Do?** Divorce mediation is a structured negotiation process facilitated by a neutral third party — the mediator. My role is to help both of you communicate effectively, identify the issues that need to be resolved, and guide you toward mutually acceptable decisions. Here is what I *do* as a mediator: - Keep discussions structured and on topic - Ensure both parties can speak and be heard - Clarify financial and parenting issues that require decisions - Provide information about common options and approaches - Help you explore solutions collaboratively - Draft your written agreements Here is what I *don’t* do: - Take sides - Offer legal advice - Make decisions for you - Pressure you into any specific outcome You remain the decision-makers. My job is to support a clear, rational process. # **Issues We Commonly Resolve in Mediation** Every couple’s situation is unique, but most divorces require decisions in the following areas: ### **1. Parenting Plan (if you have children)** This can include: - Parenting schedules - Decision-making responsibilities - Holiday and vacation time - Transportation and exchanges - Communication standards - Guidelines for co-parenting ### **2. Child Support Discussions** While Colorado has guidelines, mediation allows you to talk through: - Expenses - Transitions - Unique financial considerations ### **3. Division of Property & Debts** Most couples work through: - Vehicles - Home decisions - Personal property - Credit cards - Loans - Retirement accounts ### **4. Spousal Maintenance Discussions** Not every case involves maintenance, but if it does, mediation offers space to look at realistic needs and budgets. ### **5. Communication & Co-Parenting Expectations** Many couples choose to articulate agreements that support long-term cooperation. Mediation gives you room to talk through what really matters to both of you and draft clear, practical agreements. # **How Amicable Divorce Mediation Works (Step by Step)** Here is the organized process I use with couples in SW Denver Metro: ## **Step 1 — Free 15-Minute Clarity Call** You can schedule a brief call to: - Ask questions - Understand how mediation works - Share the basic outline of your situation - Determine whether mediation is a good fit It’s simply an informational conversation — no pressure, no decisions required. ## **Step 2 — Mediation Sessions** We meet together either in person or over Zoom. Most couples prefer online sessions because it feels more comfortable and reduces logistical challenges. During our sessions, we: - Clarify the issues - Work through each decision point one by one - Explore options - Identify areas of agreement and disagreement - Build toward a full set of mutually acceptable decisions Each session is structured, calm, and focused on progress. ## **Step 3 — Drafting Your Final Agreement** After decisions are made, I prepare a clear written agreement based on everything you’ve decided together. You can choose to: - File it with the court - Review it with attorneys - Keep it for your records The written agreement provides structure, clarity, and next steps so you can move forward with confidence. # **Who Is a Good Fit for Amicable Mediation?** Mediation works well if: - You want a clearer, calmer approach - You want to avoid escalations - You are willing to communicate in a structured environment - You want to reduce the financial impact of divorce - You want to protect your children from conflict - You prefer to maintain more control over the outcome You do *not* need to “get along perfectly.” Most couples come in with tension, frustration, or uncertainty. The structure of mediation helps manage that respectfully. # **Why Local Matters: SW Denver Metro Considerations** Having a mediator who understands the SW Denver Metro area — including Littleton, Highlands Ranch, Centennial, Englewood, and surrounding communities — makes the process more grounded and relevant. Local mediation advantages include: - Familiarity with common family schedules (commuting, schools, work patterns) - Understanding regional housing costs and financial realities - Awareness of co-parenting norms in the Denver Metro region - Experience with Colorado filing expectations A local mediator can help you make practical decisions that fit the realities of your lives. # **The Cost of Mediation vs. Litigation** Many people ask: “How much does mediation cost compared to hiring attorneys?” Put simply: ### **Mediation = predictable, contained costs** ### **Litigation = unpredictable and often extremely expensive** Because mediation avoids court appearances, motions, legal battles, and long delays, costs stay manageable. With me, you know the structure upfront so you can plan accordingly. # **The Most Overlooked Benefit: Long-Term Peace of Mind** When you choose a cooperative, organized approach to divorce, you’re not just making things easier today — you’re laying the groundwork for future stability. You are: - Protecting your children from adult conflict - Reducing the emotional cost of the transition - Preserving your ability to communicate as co-parents - Keeping the process private and respectful - Building agreements you both understand These benefits often matter more than anything else. # **If You’re Considering Amicable Divorce Mediation in SW Denver Metro** If you’re reading this because you’re exploring your options, the next step is simple. You can schedule a **free 15-minute clarity call** with me. It’s not a sales call — just a chance to understand your situation and learn whether mediation is the right approach. ### **Book Your Free 15-Minute Clarity Call** [**Book Now**](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-mediation-in-sw-denver-metro/) During this call, we’ll: - Discuss what’s happening - Review what decisions need to be made - Look at whether mediation fits your needs - Identify the next steps You don’t need to prepare anything. This is simply an information-gathering conversation to help you understand your options. # **Final Thoughts** Divorce is a major life change, but the process doesn’t have to make everything harder. With structured mediation, you can: - Stay in control - Reduce stress - Protect your time and financial resources - Make thoughtful decisions - Build a foundation for healthier co-parenting If your goal is a respectful, organized path forward, **amicable divorce mediation** may be the solution you’ve been looking for. ### **I’m here to help when you’re ready.** --- ### **About the Author, Caroline McKinnon, Esq. — Mediator, Divorce With Dignity, CDC Divorce Coach** ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot-300x300.png)**Caroline McKinnon, Esq.** is a family law attorney, certified divorce coach, and **mediator with Divorce With Dignity** serving families throughout **Southwest Denver, Littleton, Highlands Ranch, and the surrounding Colorado communities**. She helps parents navigate the emotional and practical challenges of divorce with compassion, structure, and clarity — keeping families, not conflict, at the center of every decision. Caroline combines her background in law with her training in mindful communication and child-centered mediation to help clients **reframe divorce as a family redesign process**. Her approach emphasizes civility, cooperation, and emotional safety for both parents and children. When she’s not working with clients, Caroline enjoys spending time in the Colorado outdoors, volunteering with local community programs, and teaching others how to communicate through conflict with respect and self-awareness. ➡️ **Learn more or schedule a confidential consultation:** [dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon](https://dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon-amicable-divorce-services-in-sw-denver-metro/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Coaching, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce denver metro, amicable divorce littleton, amicable divorce services denver, avoid court divorce colorado, child custody mediation denver, co parenting mediation denver, colorado mediator divorce, divorce mediation centennial co, divorce mediation colorado, divorce mediation englewood co, divorce mediation highlands ranch, divorce mediation near me denver, divorce mediation south denver, divorce mediation sw denver, divorce mediator denver metro, divorce mediator highlands ranch, divorce mediator littleton, divorce with dignity denver, ivorce mediation littleton, parenting plan mediation denver, peaceful divorce denver, separation mediation denver --- ### [When our kids are the priority, how can we reframe?](https://dwdignity.com/when-our-kids-are-the-priority-how-can-we-reframe/) **Published:** October 23, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** *By Caroline McKinnon, Esq. — Mediator, Divorce With Dignity, CDC Divorce Coach* There’s a moment when you realize that divorce might be the next step. Not because you’ve stopped caring about your family, but because the life you’re living just isn’t working anymore. Almost every parent I meet says the same thing, in one form or another: “I just want my kids to be okay.” It’s the single most consistent truth in my mediation practice. Parents come to Divorce with Dignity because they want their children to *come through divorce with their sense of security, trust, and self intact.* That kind of outcome doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you start thinking about divorce differently — not as something happening *to* your family, but as something you’re mindfully guiding your family *through.* This way of thinking or talking isn’t meant to minimize or deny the pain of dissolving a marriage. That pain is real and no one escapes it. This is meant to be a shift in focus in order to give kids the breathing room to feel safe and loved in the face of the changes of divorce. (Note: this is not necessarily an option for parents in a high conflict divorce.) ### **The shift from “divorce” to “family redesign”** Lawyers think and act to get the most for their individual clients, who are the divorcing spouses. The litigation process pits parents against each other, even through enforced mediation as part of that process. But really, there’s no victory when one parent “wins” and the other “loses.” The result for children is often that real damage is done and **their family is lost.** In a mindful mediation with the goal of amicable divorce, both parents are the client and outcomes are designed to serve everyone to the greatest degree possible. People are encouraged to keep their **family** in mind, even as they move through a divorce. A shift in thinking and vocabulary from punishing or winning to reconfiguring or redesigning can change everything, including how parents speak to each other and to their children. It prioritizes healthy and civil communication. And it changes how parenting decisions are made about the home, the holidays, and the emotional health of everyone involved. ### **Every Age Brings a Different Challenge — and a Different Opportunity** Kids experience divorce differently depending on their age — not just developmentally, but emotionally and socially. Here’s what I’ve observed: #### **1. Young Children (Ages 0–7): The World They See Is Small — and You’re the Whole of It** At this age, children interpret change through behavior, not words. They can’t understand the complexity of why divorce is happening — but they *feel* tension, absence, and tone more deeply than most adults realize. What matters most: - **Consistency of environment:** Try to keep bedtime routines, caregivers, and rituals familiar. - **Predictable transitions:** Visual charts or small rituals (“hug, song, backpack”) can make transitions between homes smoother. - **Unified reassurance:** Kids this age need both parents to send one consistent message — “You are safe. We both love you.” What’s surprising? Kids under seven often recover remarkably well when parents cooperate. Their resilience is fueled by safety, not explanations. When they see you communicate calmly, they internalize *trust* instead of *tension.* #### **2. School-Age Children (8–12): Logic Meets Loyalty** By grade school, kids start asking questions. And sometimes, they start choosing sides — not because they want to, but because they feel like they have to. What matters most: - **Transparency without burden:** Kids this age deserve honest answers — just not adult details. - **Empowerment through input:** Let them make small, meaningful choices — which bedroom color, which night for movie time. - **Protect their community:** Friends, sports, teachers — these anchors matter more than you think. Denver-area families often face a unique logistical challenge: parents in different suburbs or school districts. Mediation allows us to build parenting plans that minimize disruption. You can still live in different zip codes — but your child’s sense of *belonging* stays the same. #### **3. Teenagers (13–18): Independence, Identity, and Invisible Grief** Teenagers process divorce like adults but react like adolescents — a confusing mix of logic and emotion. They crave independence but quietly test whether the ground beneath them is still stable. What matters most: - **Respect their perspective:** Teens see through everything. If you pretend everything’s fine, they’ll stop trusting you. - **Boundaries with compassion:** They still need limits, but they also need to feel heard. - **Don’t turn them into messengers:** Ever. Even “Tell your mom (or dad)…” erodes safety faster than you think. One of the greatest predictors of how teens cope post-divorce is how *they’re invited into the process.* Not to decide *whether* divorce happens — but how the family reorganizes. Teens who feel heard tend to emerge with maturity and emotional literacy that serves them for life. #### **4. Young Adults (College-Age and Beyond): The Myth of “They’ll Be Fine”** I often hear, “Our kids are older — they’ll be fine.” But adult children of divorce face their own storm: rewriting family traditions, navigating holidays, and managing loyalty pulls between parents. What matters most: - **Communicate early:** Don’t let them hear through another relative or a text. - **Stay neutral at milestones:** Graduations, weddings, future grandkids — they’ll remember how you handled these moments. - **Acknowledge their grief:** It’s not just about logistics; it’s about identity. Mediation can include conversations about family events, finances, and future boundaries so these transitions happen gracefully, not awkwardly. ### **Beyond Age: The Three Real Anchors Kids Need** Regardless of age, I’ve seen three factors determine how well children “come through” divorce: 1. **Emotional Safety:** Do they feel loved and secure in both homes? 2. **Predictability:** Do they know what to expect week to week? 3. **Civil Communication:** Do they see you talk, or do they see you fight? When two parents commit to these anchors, children don’t just survive divorce — they grow through it. ### **A Unique Perspective from SW Denver Families** Families in the southwest Denver metro area have something special in common: community ties. Whether it’s the neighbor who always waves, the youth coach who’s been around for years, or the family dog who never misses a morning walk — connection is strong here. That’s why the mediation process matters so much. In tight-knit communities like Littleton, Highlands Ranch, and Morrison, how you handle your divorce will ripple beyond your household. The goal isn’t to keep appearances; it’s to model respect. Your children are watching not just *what* you do, but *how* you do it. ### **What “Thinking About Divorce” Should Actually Look Like** Most people think “thinking about divorce” means debating *whether to stay or go. But I often tell clients: before you decide what’s ending, decide what you want to protect. Ask yourself: - What do I want my children to remember about this time? - How can I preserve their sense of family, even if it looks different? - What kind of relationship do I want to have with my co-parent five years from now? Ten years from now? If those questions sound hard, that’s good. Hard questions build thoughtful choices. And thoughtful choices lead to better outcomes — legally, emotionally, and financially. ### **Mediation as the Bridge** Here’s what makes mediation different — and why I believe so deeply in it for families with children: - It’s private. - It’s paced around *your* readiness. - It’s built on conversation, not confrontation. - And it’s designed to protect the emotional fabric of your family while resolving the practical side of divorce. When parents sit down with me, they often come in tense, guarded, and afraid. But by the end, they’re usually lighter. Not because it’s easy — but because it’s finally *productive.* ### **Your Kids Will Come Through It — If You Come Through It Together** Children take their emotional cues from you. If they see two parents cooperating — even imperfectly — they internalize hope. They learn that conflict can be resolved without cruelty. They learn that endings can still be handled with kindness. That’s the legacy you can leave them with. ### **A Note From Me to You** As both an attorney and a mediator, I’ve walked with hundreds of families through this process. The ones who come out the other side with calm, resilient children all had one thing in common: they chose *intention* over impulse. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to be willing to take one thoughtful step at a time — guided by your love for your kids, not by fear of the unknown. If you’re ready to talk about what that looks like — and how mediation can help you protect your children and your peace — I’d be honored to help you start. ➡️ *Schedule your free discovery call today:*[ dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon](https://dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon-amicable-divorce-services-in-sw-denver-metro/?utm_source=chatgpt.com) ### **Key Takeaway** Your divorce doesn’t define your children’s story — your approach does. And in SW Denver, where families value connection, community, and calm strength, there’s a better way forward. --- ### **About the Author, Caroline McKinnon, Esq. — Mediator, Divorce With Dignity, CDC Divorce Coach** ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot-300x300.png) **Caroline McKinnon, Esq.** is a family law attorney, certified divorce coach, and **mediator with Divorce With Dignity** serving families throughout **Southwest Denver, Littleton, Highlands Ranch, and the surrounding Colorado communities**. She helps parents navigate the emotional and practical challenges of divorce with compassion, structure, and clarity — keeping families, not conflict, at the center of every decision. Caroline combines her background in law with her training in mindful communication and child-centered mediation to help clients **reframe divorce as a family redesign process**. Her approach emphasizes civility, cooperation, and emotional safety for both parents and children. When she’s not working with clients, Caroline enjoys spending time in the Colorado outdoors, volunteering with local community programs, and teaching others how to communicate through conflict with respect and self-awareness. ➡️ **Learn more or schedule a confidential consultation:** [dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon](https://dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon-amicable-divorce-services-in-sw-denver-metro/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Divorce Coaching, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce, amicable separation, child-centered divorce, co-parenting after divorce, collaborative divorce, conflict resolution divorce, Denver mediator, divorce coach Colorado, divorce guidance Denver, divorce support Denver, divorce with children, divorce with dignity, divorce without court, emotional safety for kids, family mediation, family-centered divorce, healthy co-parenting, how to reframe divorce, mediation for parents, mediation vs litigation, mindful co-parenting, mindful divorce process, parenting during divorce, peaceful divorce, respectful divorce --- ### [Six Years of Service, Heart, and Humanity: Celebrating Bronwyn Kay Galloway’s Journey with Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/six-years-of-service-heart-and-humanity-celebrating-bronwyn-kay-galloways-journey-with-divorce-with-dignity/) **Published:** October 20, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** This month marks **six years since Bronwyn Kay Galloway** joined the Divorce With Dignity Network — a milestone that not only reflects longevity, but also the steady trust and deep human connection she’s built with hundreds of individuals and families navigating some of life’s hardest transitions. Last year, we spotlighted Bron’s *“Big Five”* — the five values that shape her mediation and coaching practice: compassion, balance, integrity, patience, and humor. (You can revisit that piece[ here](https://dwdignity.com/provider-spotlight-bronwyn-kay-galloway-compassion-and-expertise-in-san-francisco/)). This year, Bron’s reflection takes us deeper into the **relationships** she’s cultivated — and what it means to walk beside people during one of the most vulnerable seasons of their lives. ## **Building Relationships, Not Just Resolutions** Bronwyn’s approach to mediation is both pragmatic and profoundly human. With nearly **100 active cases at any given time**, she’s often supporting **close to 200 clients** simultaneously. For many professionals, that number alone would sound overwhelming — but for Bron, it’s the heartbeat of her practice. “Because Divorce With Dignity is a one-stop shop,” she explains, “there’s naturally a counseling element to what we do — whether that’s in the group setting, during side conversations, or through the quieter check-ins that happen throughout the process. Mediation isn’t just about forms or agreements. It’s about emotional steadiness and understanding human behavior.” With a **background in social psychology**, Bron integrates that awareness into every interaction — recognizing that every couple’s dynamic, every family’s rhythm, and every individual’s response to change are deeply personal. Her ability to hold space without judgment, while maintaining focus on forward motion, has earned her a reputation as one of Divorce With Dignity’s most trusted mediators and client advocates. ## **The Emotional Architecture of Mediation** Divorce is often portrayed as a battle. But Bron’s work reframes it as an **evolution of relationship** — one where structure and empathy coexist. “Even in cases where emotions run high, there’s always a way to rebuild trust enough to communicate,” she says. “It’s not about perfection. It’s about helping people find their footing again.” Her sessions are equal parts strategy and sanctuary: balancing **legal process clarity** with emotional containment. She offers both **individual and joint meetings**, and often conducts “sidebar” conversations where clients can privately process before re-engaging in joint discussions. This integrated approach minimizes conflict and maximizes understanding — something Bron calls “emotional pacing.” “When clients feel seen and understood, they can make decisions that last,” she adds. “My role is to guide that, not to rush it.” ## **A Practice Rooted in Connection** As someone who is **childfree, unmarried, and living independently by choice**, Bron brings a refreshing perspective to the world of family transition. It allows her to stay wholly present with clients, without projecting her own experiences into theirs — but it also gives her a deep appreciation for the bonds formed during each case. “For six months or more, we’re in close contact — talking through fears, finances, and futures,” she says. “You get to know people beyond their divorce story. By the end, there’s mutual respect and often a genuine friendship.” That connection became even more meaningful after the pandemic shifted most of her work online. Without the daily social energy of an office, Bron’s clients became her **community of purpose** — a reminder that empathy and collaboration can thrive virtually when guided with intention. Outside of mediation, Bron channels her empathy and energy into **music and activism**, both of which serve as grounding counterpoints to her professional life. “Music and social action keep me connected to the bigger picture,” she says. “They remind me that resilience — whether personal or collective — is something we can all cultivate.” ## **The Art of Balance: Structure, Humor, and Humanity** Bron’s gift lies in blending clear process management with warmth and wit. Her clients describe her as “anchoring,” “steady,” and “impossible not to trust.” Her colleagues describe her as “a force of nature wrapped in kindness.” The Divorce With Dignity process itself provides a structured framework — legal filings, parenting plans, financial disclosures, and timelines. But within that structure, Bron creates space for what truly matters: communication and closure. “I’ve learned that humor disarms fear,” she says with a smile. “Sometimes the best way to move through tension is simply to acknowledge how absurd some moments can be. Divorce is heavy enough — a little levity can bring light into the room.” This human-first approach has helped countless couples achieve agreements without courtroom escalation, preserving both emotional and financial resources. It’s also why many attorneys, therapists, and financial planners **refer clients to Bron** — knowing she’ll offer a grounded path through chaos. ## **A Message to Referral Partners** For professionals in law, therapy, and finance who collaborate with Divorce With Dignity, Bron’s approach represents the network’s ethos in action: **resolution through respect**. “Every referral partner who entrusts a client to us is extending a promise of care,” she says. “That trust means everything. We’re all serving the same goal — helping families transition in a way that preserves dignity and possibility.” Bron’s ability to seamlessly integrate the emotional and procedural aspects of divorce makes her an invaluable bridge between disciplines. She works closely with professionals who want to ensure their clients receive both the **legal clarity** and the **emotional stability** needed to move forward productively. If you’re a therapist, financial planner, or attorney interested in collaborating with Divorce With Dignity, Bron encourages open dialogue. “We’re all part of the same ecosystem of support,” she notes. “The better we communicate, the better outcomes our shared clients experience.” ## **Looking Ahead: Still Growing, Still Grounded** After six years, Bron’s enthusiasm hasn’t dimmed. If anything, her commitment to the work has deepened. “Every case teaches me something,” she reflects. “People’s capacity for grace continues to amaze me — even when things are hard, even when they’re scared. When I see couples finding peace after months of uncertainty, that’s the reward.” As Divorce With Dignity continues expanding its network of compassionate, highly skilled mediators nationwide, Bron remains a touchstone for what effective, heart-centered mediation looks like. Her practice is a testament to how **connection and clarity** can coexist — and how dignity can be rebuilt, one conversation at a time. ## **Gratitude and Congratulations** Please join us in celebrating **Bronwyn Kay Galloway’s six remarkable years** with Divorce With Dignity. Her professionalism, empathy, and tireless dedication have impacted hundreds of lives — and continue to shape the very soul of our network. To learn more about Bron’s practice or to schedule a consultation, visit her provider page at[ dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/bronwyn-kay-galloway/), or reach out directly through our contact form. Here’s to six years — and many more ahead — of guiding people toward peace, one thoughtful step at a time. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Provider Spotlight **Tags:** affordable divorce mediation, Amicable Divorce Solutions, Bay Area divorce mediator, compassionate conflict resolution, compassionate divorce mediator, conflict resolution during divorce, cooperative divorce process, divorce coaching and mediation, divorce counseling support, divorce mediation in San Francisco, divorce services San Francisco, divorce support San Francisco, Divorce With Dignity Network, divorce without court, emotional support during divorce, family mediation San Francisco, mediator near me San Francisco, non-adversarial divorce, online divorce mediation California, peaceful divorce, private divorce mediator, professional divorce mediator, relationship-based mediation, uncontested divorce California, virtual mediation services --- ### [Divorce Without Villains: Reframing the Story for Your Kids](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-without-villains-middle-georgia/) **Published:** September 22, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** When most people hear the word *divorce*, they picture conflict. Lawyers battling in court. Parents speaking poorly of one another. Children caught in the middle. But divorce doesn’t have to be a story about winners and losers. And for your children, it shouldn’t be a story about villains at all. At Divorce With Dignity in Middle Georgia, I work with families every day who want to move forward without tearing one another down. Mediation offers a path that shifts the narrative: instead of *mom vs. dad*, it becomes a family transition where both parents still matter. ## Why the Story Matters for Kids Children build their sense of security on the belief that both parents love them and will continue to be there for them. When divorce turns into a fight, kids often hear things like: - “Your dad doesn’t care.” - “Your mom ruined everything.” - “We’re here because of what *they* did.” Even when unintentional, those messages can create deep guilt and confusion. Kids may feel pressured to choose sides or even start believing they’re the reason the family “broke.” By reframing divorce as a **family transition**, parents can tell a different story: - “Mom and Dad both love you.” - “We’re working together to make sure you feel safe.” - “Our family is changing, but it’s not ending.” This shift doesn’t erase the pain, but it does preserve dignity — for the parents and for the children. ## Mediation Protects the Parent-Child Bond Mediation makes this reframing possible because it is designed to **reduce conflict, not inflame it.** - **Both parents have a voice.** Mediation is a conversation, not a battle. - **Agreements are built around respect.** You decide how you want to co-parent, rather than having it dictated by a judge. - **Language matters.** Mediators help parents craft parenting plans and custody schedules in terms that support cooperation instead of competition. When parents use mediation, they walk away with agreements that honor both roles. That sends children a powerful message: *I don’t have to lose one parent to keep the other.* ## Dignity in the Middle Georgia Community In a close-knit place like Middle Georgia, the story of your divorce doesn’t just stay inside your home. Children talk at school. Families gather at church. Friends and neighbors notice how you treat one another. Choosing mediation doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect. It means handling the transition with dignity — giving your kids, and your community, an example of how grace and respect can carry a family through even the hardest seasons. ## A Family Transition, Not a Battlefield Divorce will always bring change. But you get to decide how that change is remembered. Will it be the story of conflict, anger, and blame? Or will it be the story of a family that faced a hard truth with courage, compassion, and dignity? Through mediation, you have the opportunity to protect your children from feeling like they must choose sides. You can reframe divorce from a destructive ending into a thoughtful transition. ### Final Thoughts If you are considering divorce in Middle Georgia, I encourage you to explore mediation. Not because it erases the challenges, but because it **preserves what matters most: your children’s sense of safety, love, and connection with both parents.** At Divorce With Dignity, I help families find solutions that respect everyone involved. There are no villains here — only people seeking a better path forward. --- ### About the Author ![Michael Lemon, Divorce With Dignity - Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Michael-Lemon-300x300.jpg)Michael Lemon, Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia **Michael Lemon** is a Divorce With Dignity Provider serving Middle Georgia. With a deep commitment to helping families navigate separation with compassion and fairness, Michael offers mediation services that reduce conflict, protect children, and preserve dignity throughout the divorce process. His work is centered on guiding couples toward practical, respectful agreements that support long-term healing and stability. If you’re considering divorce and want a path that keeps dignity and respect at the center, Michael is here to help. 📞 **Contact Michael Lemon** [Visit Michael’s Divorce With Dignity Page »](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Children and Divorce Rates, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce Georgia, child-focused divorce mediation, co-parenting mediation Georgia, divorce and children Middle Georgia, divorce mediation Middle Georgia, divorce with dignity Georgia, divorce without court Georgia, divorce without fighting, family transition divorce, protecting children in divorce --- ### [When “Fair” Feels Unfair: How Children Experience Custody Shuttling](https://dwdignity.com/when-fair-feels-unfair-how-children-experience-custody-shuttling/) **Published:** September 15, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** *(Why Stability and Developmental Stages Matter More Than Splitting Time Evenly)* ### **Introduction: A Different Kind of Fairness** When parents separate, one of the hardest questions is: *What’s the ideal split of parenting time?* Too often, “fair” gets translated into equal parenting — a strict 50/50 split . On paper, that might seem balanced. In real life, it often leaves children feeling like they live out of a suitcase. Fairness for parents is important, but children may think of this very differently than adults do. Children don’t measure fairness in hours. They measure it in **stability, safety, and belonging**. And as kids grow, their developmental stage profoundly shapes how they experience divorce and custody. At Divorce With Dignity Denver, I work with families to design parenting plans that prioritize children’s needs at every stage of growth. Because the truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula — especially not a rigid 50/50. ### **Why Shuttling Feels Unfair to Kids** Parents may fight for equal time in the name of fairness, but kids often describe it differently: - *“I feel like a visitor in both homes.”* - *“I never know where my stuff is.”* - *“It’s exhausting to keep moving.”* Even in the most loving families, constant transitions can create stress and anxiety. Homework gets left behind. Sleep gets disrupted. Social lives get complicated by handoff schedules. Children may feel torn between two worlds rather than rooted in one. This isn’t about blaming parents who naturally want to be part of their kid’s lives. It’s about recognizing that other factors matter more than symmetry. Kids thrive when they feel secure, not when their lives are divided into equal halves. ### **Developmental Stages: Why One Size Doesn’t Fit All** Every child’s age and stage changes how divorce impacts them. Custody plans need to reflect this reality. **Infants and toddlers** - Attachment and consistency are critical. - Separations from a primary caregiver can trigger separation anxiety. - Frequent, short visits often work better than long, alternating blocks. **Ages 8–11** - This is a tender stage: kids are becoming more aware of the world and their place in it. - Many experience anxiety during transitions, especially if conflict exists between parents. - Stability in school, activities, and routines helps them feel safe. **Teenagers** - Peer relationships take center stage, and schedules are often packed. - Teens may resent rigid custody splits that disrupt social lives, sports, or academics. - In today’s world, social media and peer pressure add layers of stress that require parental awareness and flexibility. At every stage, parents need to ask: *What does my child need right now to feel secure and healthy?* Not: *How do we split the calendar evenly?* ### **The Consequences of Ignoring Development** Unfortunately, rigid custody formulas often disregard these developmental differences. Children who are forced into arrangements that don’t match their needs may: - Show signs of anxiety or depression. - Struggle academically due to lost focus or disorganization. - Act out behaviorally as they try to cope with stress. - Withdraw socially or become resentful of both parents. These outcomes are not inevitable, but they are common when children’s needs are overshadowed by adult definitions of fairness. ### **Stay Focused on the Big Picture** It’s important to acknowledge a hard truth: divorce brings consequences, and one of them may be disrupted parenting time. But disrupted doesn’t have to mean destructive. When parents focus on **quality over quantity**, they give children something more valuable than an equal number of hours: they give them stability. A child who feels truly at home in one primary residence, while enjoying meaningful time with the other parent, often does far better than one who lives a split life between two households. This doesn’t mean the non-primary parent is less important. Quite the opposite — it means the time spent together is intentional, nurturing, and free from the stress of constant transitions. ### **What Parents Can Do** If you’re navigating custody decisions, here are steps that help keep children’s needs front and center: 1. **Consider developmental stage first.** Ask: *What does my child need at this age to feel secure?* 2. **Prioritize stability.** Protect school, activities, and peer connections whenever possible. 3. **Be flexible.** A parenting plan that works for a toddler won’t work for a teen. Expect to adjust over time and include a commitment to adjust as needed in your parenting plan. 4. **Communicate with care.** Reduce conflict around handoffs; children notice tension and internalize it. 5. **Focus on children’s needs.** Make your time with your child meaningful, not measured. Use virtual options to connect when and how you can. ### **A Dignified Approach to Custody** At Divorce With Dignity Denver, I guide parents through the hard conversations about custody with one principle in mind: **kids’ needs come first.** That means looking beyond formulas, considering developmental stages, and crafting agreements that give children stability at every stage of growth. ### **Conclusion: Fairness Reimagined** Fairness isn’t about a 50/50 split. It’s about creating a life for your child that feels whole, safe, and nurturing — even in the midst of divorce. Keep the big picture in mind. Development matters more than default formulas. And dignity means making decisions that reflect the real needs of children, not just the preferences of adults. If you’re facing these questions, know this: you don’t have to navigate them alone. With the right guidance, you can design a parenting plan that honors your child’s needs, respects both parents, and brings peace to a difficult transition. --- ### **About the Author** [![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot-300x300.png)Caroline McKinnon, Esq.](https://dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon-amicable-divorce-services-in-sw-denver-metro/) is a Certified Divorce and Family Mediator and the founder of Divorce With Dignity – Southwest Denver Metro. With a background in conflict resolution and a deep commitment to child-focused solutions, Caroline helps families navigate divorce with compassion, clarity, and respect. She specializes in creating parenting plans that honor children’s developmental needs while supporting parents in building cooperative co-parenting relationships. When she’s not working with clients, Caroline is actively involved in community education around peaceful divorce and is passionate about helping families move forward with dignity and stability. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Custody, Mediation **Tags:** child custody developmental stages, co-parenting stability after divorce, custody and social media teens, Denver child-focused custody mediation, parenting plan quality over quantity --- ### [Equal Custody Presumptions: Progress or Protocol?](https://dwdignity.com/equal-custody-presumptions-safety-dignity/) **Published:** September 9, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** ### **Introduction: The Custody Crossroads** When Kentucky passed the nation’s first law making **50/50 equal custody the legal default**, it made national headlines. On paper, the idea looked like progress: equal parenting, equal time, equal rights. For many, it symbolized long-awaited fairness. But for countless families — especially survivors of abuse or children struggling to feel stable — the new law feels less like equality and more like **a dangerous oversimplification**. Custody is never just a number on a timesheet. It is the framework of a child’s daily life. At Divorce With Dignity, we believe that fairness cannot come at the cost of **safety, stability, or dignity**. ### **Why Custody Presumptions Matter** In every custody case, courts and mediators need a starting point. A presumption, like Kentucky’s 50/50 law, sets that tone. The problem is, what’s presumed often becomes what’s pressured. Parents who might otherwise advocate for safety or stability may feel forced to accept “equal” time even when it doesn’t serve their child. A presumption doesn’t just set expectations — it sets momentum, and families can feel trapped inside it. ### **The Promise of Equality** There are reasons shared custody has appeal. - Many parents want parity and see 50/50 as a safeguard against bias. - Advocates point to research suggesting children benefit from strong involvement with both parents. - The idea looks simple compared to the complexity of individualized planning. For families where both parents are safe, stable, and cooperative, equal parenting time can work beautifully. It can strengthen bonds and give children access to the best of both worlds. But reality is more complicated than a formula. ### **The Problem With Presumptions** Blanket rules often erase real risks. - Survivors of domestic violence face the burden of proving why equal time is unsafe. - Parents who carried the bulk of caregiving may see their role diminished. - Children’s needs — school stability, therapy schedules, medical care — can be overshadowed by the push for “equal.” One mother on Reddit wrote about being pressured into a 50/50 arrangement with her abusive ex: > *“I had to prove why my ex shouldn’t have equal time. Instead of starting with safety, I had to start with equality. It felt backwards.” When the system begins with a rigid assumption, it risks silencing the very voices — children’s and survivors’ — that deserve to be heard first. ### **Through a Child’s Eyes** Adults talk about fairness in terms of parental rights. Children feel fairness in terms of **belonging and stability**. Imagine a ten-year-old switching homes every week. Their backpack holds schoolbooks, soccer cleats, a toothbrush, and their favorite stuffed animal. Homework gets lost in the shuffle. Birthday parties conflict with handoff days. They fall asleep in one bedroom and wake up in another, repeating the cycle endlessly. Some children adjust. Many do not. A teenager wrote online: > *“I don’t feel like I have a home. I have two houses, but neither one feels like mine. I live out of bags.” For many kids, stability matters more than symmetry. Sometimes that means a primary residence with extended visits at the other parent’s home. Sometimes it means creative solutions like nesting, where children stay in one home and parents rotate. The real question isn’t *“Is this fair to both parents?”* but *“Does this give the child a sense of safety and stability?” ### **Moving Beyond One-Size-Fits-All** Custody arrangements should be crafted, not copied. The factors that deserve weight include: - **Safety:** Has there been domestic violence or coercive control? - **Age and Development:** Younger children need consistency; teens may want flexibility. - **Geography:** Long drives between homes can add stress. - **Work Schedules and Caregiving History:** Who has been the day-to-day caregiver? Mediation creates space for families to step outside rigid presumptions and design plans that reflect real life. Every family is different. Custody should be, too. ### **Why Dignity Matters** Divorce is never easy, but custody decisions shape the emotional and practical lives of children for years to come. When dignity is prioritized, children are spared unnecessary stress, survivors are protected, and parents can move forward with peace of mind. Default 50/50 laws may look like progress, but dignity requires more than **fairness on paper**. It requires child-focused, safety-centered solutions in practice. ### **Conclusion: Beyond Presumptions** The custody debate isn’t about choosing sides between mothers and fathers. It’s about choosing **safety and stability for children**, and dignity for families navigating change. Default laws may set the tone, but they don’t have to define your future. With thoughtful mediation, parents can create custody plans that truly serve their children — not just a system’s shortcuts. At the end of the day, dignity means this: **your child has a home base, your voice is heard, and your safety is never compromised.** **You don’t have to accept a one-size-fits-all custody plan. Let us help you create a parenting agreement that protects your child’s stability, prioritizes safety, and honors dignity for everyone involved.” 👉 *[Schedule a confidential consultation today](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/).* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Children and Divorce Rates, Co-Parenting, Custody, Mediation **Tags:** balanced custody divorce dignity, default 50/50 custody safety concerns, Kentucky shared custody law analysis, mandatory shared custody law critique --- ### [Nesting, Mommunes, and Beyond: Modern Co-Parenting Trends and How Mediation Supports Them](https://dwdignity.com/denver-co-parenting-mediator-nesting-divorce-mommunes/) **Published:** August 30, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** ### **Introduction: Co-Parenting in a Changing World** Co-parenting after divorce has always been challenging. But in recent years, families are rewriting the rules in creative, surprising, and even inspiring ways. From *“nesting”* arrangements where kids stay in the family home while parents rotate in and out, to communal living experiments sometimes called *“mommunes,”* families are finding new ways to prioritize children’s stability and emotional wellbeing. At the same time, new challenges are emerging — particularly around digital boundaries, “sharenting” on social media, and finding schedules that truly work for everyone. As a divorce mediator specializing in co-parenting here in southwest Denver, I’ve seen how these evolving models bring both great promise and real tension. What works beautifully for one family may cause frustration for another. That’s where mediation comes in: providing a neutral, structured space where parents can explore options, avoid unnecessary conflict, and craft a plan that reflects their unique family. In this post, I’ll share the latest trends sparking conversations across social media and parenting forums — and explain how mediation supports families in finding solutions that actually last. ### **1. Nesting: When Kids Stay Put, Parents Take Turns** One of the most talked-about arrangements in 2025 is **nesting.** In this model, the children remain in the family home while parents take turns living there. Instead of kids moving between two houses, the parents are the ones rotating. **Why it’s appealing:** - It provides stability for children. The same bed, same neighborhood, same school bus stop. - It avoids the emotional whiplash of packing bags every few days. - For parents who want to shield children from disruption, it feels like a compassionate solution. **Why it’s complicated:** - Parents need additional housing for when they’re “off duty,” which can be expensive. - Boundaries get blurred if parents don’t respect each other’s time and space. - Emotional stress can build if one parent feels like they’re still too entangled in the other’s life. **What families are saying:** On TikTok and Reddit, some parents describe nesting as a lifesaver — while others share that the arrangement collapsed quickly without clear rules. Business Insider recently highlighted nesting as both a trending and polarizing option: child-centered in theory, but high-maintenance in practice. **Where mediation helps:** In mediation, parents can talk through the logistics that often sink nesting: Who pays for repairs? Who cleans the house after their rotation? How do we handle holidays? A written, agreed-upon nesting plan can prevent resentment and give both parents confidence in the arrangement. ### **2. “Mommunes” and Co-Living Experiments** Another surprising trend is the rise of **“mommunes”** — cooperative living arrangements where divorced (or single) moms share a home, pool expenses, and support each other while raising kids. **Why it’s gaining attention:** - A recent viral story out of Nevada showed two divorced women sharing a household and parenting side-by-side. Their TikTok videos reached millions of views, with commenters celebrating their creativity. - Rising housing costs make shared living more appealing financially. - Emotional support: raising children post-divorce can feel isolating, and co-living creates a built-in community. **Potential challenges:** - Differing parenting styles in the same household. - Conflicts about financial contributions or household rules. - Complications if one parent begins dating again. **Where mediation helps:** Mediation can be used not only between ex-spouses, but also between co-living parents. A skilled mediator helps clarify boundaries: How are bills split? How do we handle discipline differences? What happens if one family wants to move? A written agreement avoids misunderstandings and protects the friendship. ### **3. The Digital Frontier: Sharenting, Privacy, and Online Boundaries** One of the most frequent points of conflict among co-parents isn’t about holidays or school pickups — it’s about **social media.** **“Sharenting”** is the term for parents who post extensively about their children online. For some, it’s a way to celebrate milestones and stay connected with extended family. For others, it feels like an invasion of privacy or even a safety concern. **What kids are saying:** Studies show many teenagers feel embarrassed by their parents’ online sharing. Some even feel betrayed if personal struggles or photos are shared without consent. **What co-parents are saying:** On Reddit’s co-parenting forums, threads about “Can my ex post photos of our kids without my consent?” attract hundreds of comments. Some parents see it as harmless; others see it as dangerous or disrespectful. **Where mediation helps:** Mediation gives parents the chance to: - Create guidelines around social media posting. - Agree on privacy boundaries (e.g., no tagging schools or locations). - Respect children’s voices as they grow older and want more control over their digital presence. Clear agreements reduce tension, prevent one parent from feeling undermined, and protect children’s sense of safety. ### **4. Everyday Scheduling Conflicts: The Silent Stressor** While nesting and mommunes get headlines, the most common co-parenting challenge remains simple: **the schedule.** - Bedtime routines disrupted by late-night hand-offs. - One parent feeling inflexible, while the other constantly requests changes. - Conflicts around sports, school projects, and after-school activities. From a Reddit thread on custody exchanges: “He’s asking for night exchanges at 8 p.m. on school nights. I prefer the kids be in bed by 8:30. It’s becoming a weekly fight.” These may sound like small details, but when repeated weekly, they create constant stress. **Where mediation helps:** Mediation creates space to talk through details like exchange times, holiday rotations, and transportation responsibilities. Even five minutes on a parenting plan can prevent years of resentment. ### **5. The Role of Mediation in Modern Co-Parenting** No matter which arrangement families choose — nesting, co-living, or traditional split households — mediation brings structure and balance. Here’s how: - **Facilitating honest dialogue.** Parents can voice concerns without escalating into conflict. - **Creating flexible, written plans.** Agreements account for the present and include a process for revisiting them as children grow. - **Focusing on the children.** Mediation redirects energy away from “winning” toward what truly supports the kids. - **Reducing stress and cost.** Families save time, money, and emotional wear compared to court battles. ### **Local Insight: Why This Matters in Our Community** Families in the Denver metro area face unique challenges: rising housing costs, demanding work schedules, and the fast pace of city life. Creative co-parenting models like nesting and communal living can ease these pressures — but only if handled with care. That’s why having a **neutral co-parenting mediator** is invaluable. Parents don’t have to figure everything out on their own. With guidance, they can make child-centered decisions that reflect both modern realities and real family needs. ### **Conclusion: Building Dignity Into Co-Parenting** Co-parenting is evolving. Families today are experimenting with nesting, mommunes, flexible schedules, and digital boundaries in ways that would have been rare a generation ago. These models show just how resilient and creative parents can be in building new lives after divorce. But new models also bring new challenges. Without clear agreements, what begins with good intentions can quickly turn into conflict. Mediation offers families a path to move forward with dignity. It provides the tools to negotiate boundaries, clarify responsibilities, and keep the focus where it belongs: on raising healthy, secure children. A mediator will help you build a powerful parenting plan that can withstand the challenges of raising children as co-parents. If you’re exploring co-parenting options in the Denver area, know that you don’t have to navigate this alone. With support and structure, it’s possible to build a parenting plan that works — not just today, but as your children grow. ### **About the Author** ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot-300x300.png)Caroline McKinnon is a divorce mediator with the **Divorce With Dignity Network**, serving families across the [southwest Denver metro area](https://dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon-amicable-divorce-services-in-sw-denver-metro/). Specializing in co-parenting, Caroline helps parents navigate separation with compassion and clarity, guiding them toward solutions that protect children’s wellbeing while reducing conflict. Her approach emphasizes respect, practical problem-solving, and building agreements that truly fit each family’s needs. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting **Tags:** Denver co-parenting mediator, divorce with dignity, mommune parenting, nesting divorce, parenting plan Denver, sharenting privacy --- ### [Co-Parenting Without Escape Routes Series: Part 2 – Screens as an Escape: Digital Distraction in the Co-Parenting Era](https://dwdignity.com/co-parenting-screens-avoidance/) **Published:** August 19, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** (Part 2 of our Co-Parenting Without Escape Routes Series) --- ## **Introduction: When Conflict Meets a Screen** The moment tension hits, some kids don’t run to the other parent — they run to a device. A phone, a game console, YouTube, or TikTok can offer instant distraction from an unfinished homework assignment, a tense conversation, or a consequence they don’t like. In today’s co-parenting reality, screens are often the **third home** — a place kids retreat to when both parents are busy, tired, or worn down from conflict. While it’s normal for kids to want comfort in moments of stress, **screens can easily become an escape hatch** that prevents them from building the accountability and problem-solving skills they’ll need later in life. ## **Why This Matters Now** Screens have always been a distraction, but a few modern realities make the risk sharper: - **More device access** — even younger kids have their own phones or tablets. - **Post-divorce fatigue** — co-parents are often managing two households, jobs, and new routines. - **Economic strain** — more parents working long hours, leading to less direct supervision. - **Online connection to other adults** — extended family, friends, or even new partners may be “on call” digitally, providing a sympathetic ear without context. ## **How Digital Avoidance Shows Up in Co-Parenting** Signs your child may be using screens as a conflict escape: ![Are screens becoming your child’s escape hatch?](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/iStock-1746107225-300x200.jpg)***Are screens becoming your child’s escape hatch?*** - Immediately turning to gaming or social media after being asked to address an issue. - Claiming to be “busy” online when it’s time to follow through on responsibilities. - Using group chats or private messages to seek emotional backup from other adults or relatives during a dispute. - Staying in their room with headphones in during family conversations about rules or accountability. ## **The Undermining Factor** One of the biggest challenges in managing screen-based avoidance is **when the other co-parent or extended family enables it**. ### **From the Other Co-Parent** - Restoring full device privileges even when both agreed to consequences. - Messaging the child during discipline to reassure them they don’t need to “put up with this.” - Allowing unrestricted gaming or online access at their house when rules are in place at yours. ### **From Extended Family** - Grandparents buying devices or accessories to “make them feel better.” - Family members validating the child’s side of the story without hearing yours. - Offering to “come pick them up” when they’re upset — often leading to unresolved issues. ## **Why Undermining is So Damaging** When one parent or family member removes the discomfort of accountability, it teaches the child two dangerous lessons: 1. Rules are negotiable depending on where you are. 2. Emotional discomfort should always be avoided — even when it’s part of learning and growth. In adolescence, this can evolve into seeking out relationships, environments, or communities that allow them to avoid responsibility altogether. ## **Positive Management Strategies** You can’t control every variable, but you *can* create a system that reduces the payoff of avoidance. ### **1. Align Screen Time Rules Where Possible** If you and your co-parent agree on nothing else, try to agree that devices aren’t a refuge from consequences. Example: “If they lose their phone for a day at my house, it’s the same at yours.” ### **2. Use Screen Time Tools** Apps like Screen Time, Family Link, or built-in parental controls can limit usage across devices — especially if both homes participate. ### **3. Define “Cool Down” Alternatives** Replace screen retreat with healthier decompression options: walks, art, cooking, music, or sports. ### **4. Address Undermining Directly (But Calmly)** If another parent or relative is undoing your discipline: - Share specific examples, not general accusations. - Frame it as a concern for the child’s growth, not a personal attack. - Offer a simple alternative they *can* do to support the child without undercutting you. #### **5. Involve a Mediator if Needed** When undermining becomes chronic, mediation can establish a **“non-interference clause”** in your parenting plan, especially around technology and discipline. ## **For Parents Wondering: “What in the Heck Went Wrong?”** If you’re looking back and realizing screens became your child’s go-to conflict escape, you’re not alone. Many parents are just now seeing the long-term impact: - Teens who can’t sit through a hard conversation without reaching for a phone. - Young adults who ghost employers or friends instead of resolving issues. The good news? **It’s never too late to change the pattern** — but it requires consistency and, ideally, cooperation from both homes. ## **The Role of Mediation** In our work at *The Divorce With Dignity Network*, we help co-parents move past device battles into clear, enforceable agreements that protect the child’s growth — not just their comfort. Screen rules, communication limits, and mutual enforcement can all be built into a mediation agreement to prevent devices from becoming the ultimate escape hatch. ## **Key Takeaway** Screens aren’t inherently bad — but in co-parenting, they can quickly become the modern equivalent of running away to the other parent’s house. By removing the reward for avoidance, aligning expectations, and addressing undermining head-on, you give your child something more valuable than unlimited gaming time: **the ability to face life, not flee from it.** --- **Get Support From Someone Who’s Been There** If you’re facing co-parenting challenges — whether you’re just starting to create a plan, navigating new conflicts, or wondering how things went off track — you don’t have to figure it out alone. Our *Divorce With Dignity Network* Providers have faced co-parenting themselves and understand the real-life challenges that come with raising kids in two homes. They can help you create agreements that prevent undermining, close the “escape hatches,” and keep your children accountable in healthy, age-appropriate ways. [**Find a Provider near you →**](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Overcoming Obstacles **Tags:** co-parent undermining, co-parenting screen time, kids avoiding conflict, parenting consistency after divorce, screen time limits divorce --- ### [Co-Parenting Without Escape Routes Series: Part 3 – From Parent-Hopping to Risky Attachments: How Avoidance Becomes a Relationship Trap](https://dwdignity.com/co-parenting-risky-attachments/) **Published:** August 26, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** (Part 3 of our Co-Parenting Without Escape Routes Series) --- ## **Introduction: When Avoidance Grows Up** The “escape hatch” dynamic we’ve covered in Parts 1 and 2 often begins with switching houses to avoid a consequence, or retreating into a phone to dodge a hard conversation. By the teen years, those same avoidance habits can morph into **attaching to people outside the family as a primary escape route** — often romantic partners, their families, or even unrelated adults who offer an easier environment. In August and early fall, when school schedules ramp up and home expectations tighten, the opportunities for teens to lean on outside attachments multiply: - More time away from home for sports, clubs, and social activities. - More access to private messaging with peers and adults. - More stress that makes an “easy refuge” tempting. ## **How the Pattern Evolves** 1. **Childhood:** Escaping discipline by going to the other parent’s house. 2. **Tween years:** Avoiding conflict by disappearing into devices. 3. **Teen years:** Seeking refuge in a romantic partner’s home, teacher’s classroom, or a peer’s family — often spending more time there than at home. 4. **Adulthood:** Leaving jobs, relationships, or commitments when conflict arises rather than working through it. ## **The Risks in the Teen Stage** While friendships and mentorship are important for teens, turning them into **primary escape routes** can carry serious risks: - **Romantic Refuge:** Teens may tolerate unhealthy relationships to keep access to a “safe” place. - **Enabling Adults:** Well-meaning teachers, coaches, or neighbors may unknowingly reinforce avoidance instead of encouraging resolution. - **Exploitation Risk:** Predatory individuals can exploit a teen seeking unconditional acceptance and refuge from household rules. - **Identity Fusion:** Teens may begin defining themselves entirely by the outside relationship, losing perspective and independence. ## **The Undermining Factor** Avoidance turns into risky attachment much faster when a co-parent or extended family member **validates the escape over the resolution**. ### **From the Other Co-Parent:** - Welcoming the teen “anytime” without requiring follow-up on issues from the other home. - Blaming the other parent’s “strictness” instead of supporting household consistency. - Allowing the romantic partner to stay over or spend unsupervised time as a reward for choosing their house. ### **From Extended Family:** - Inviting the teen to “come live here if it’s too hard at home.” - Speaking negatively about the other parent in the teen’s presence. - Shielding them from rules entirely while they’re visiting. When this happens, the teen learns that **loyalty is tied to comfort, not accountability** — a belief they may carry into every future relationship. ## **Positive Management Strategies** You can’t (and shouldn’t) control every relationship in your teen’s life, but you *can* teach them how to evaluate and navigate those relationships with balance. ### **1. Unified Boundaries for Outside Relationships** Agree with your co-parent on shared guidelines: - How much time is reasonable at a romantic partner’s home. - Whether overnight visits are appropriate. - Expectations for checking in and following through on responsibilities. ### **2. Require Resolution Before Escape** If conflict arises, outside visits or social time pause until the issue is addressed. This teaches that repair comes before refuge. ### **3. Healthy Third Spaces** Encourage relationships with trusted adults (youth group leaders, coaches, mentors) who model problem-solving and balanced boundaries — not just sympathy. ### **4. Relationship Mapping Exercises** Work with your teen to map out their relationships: - Who are the safe supports? - Who encourages accountability? - Who only validates escape without resolution? ### **5. Mediation as a Neutral Tool** If co-parent undermining is worsening the problem, mediation can establish clear, enforceable terms for how each parent responds to conflict and outside attachments. ## **For Parents Wondering: “What Went Wrong?”** If you’re looking back and realizing your teen’s outside relationships have replaced home connection, this isn’t about “failure” — it’s about recognizing a learned pattern. Kids aren’t born with conflict-avoidance habits. They develop them through repeated practice. The good news is, **you can re-teach resilience at any age** by closing the escape hatches and showing that resolution builds trust and freedom. ## **The Role of Mediation** At *The Divorce With Dignity Network*, we help parents move from constant firefighting to proactive planning. That includes **clear agreements on how both homes will respond when a teen uses outside relationships as an escape** — so your child learns that accountability follows them, and real refuge comes from working through challenges. ## **Key Takeaway** Romantic partners, teachers, or family friends can all be valuable in a teen’s life — but they should complement home, not replace it. When escape becomes the default, the real growth never happens. Consistent, united co-parenting can break the pattern before it follows your child into adulthood. --- **Get Support From Someone Who’s Been There** If you’re facing co-parenting challenges — whether you’re just starting to create a plan, navigating new conflicts, or wondering how things went off track — you don’t have to figure it out alone. Our *Divorce With Dignity Network* Providers have faced co-parenting themselves and understand the real-life challenges that come with raising kids in two homes. They can help you create agreements that prevent undermining, close the “escape hatches,” and protect your child from developing risky avoidance patterns. **Find a Provider near you →** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Emotional Effects of Divorce, Overcoming Obstacles **Tags:** avoiding co-parent conflict, co-parent consistency, co-parent undermining, co-parenting strategies teens, co-parenting teens, conflict avoidance in teens, healthy teen relationships, mediation for co-parenting, parenting plan enforcement, peaceful divorce parenting, risky teen relationships, teen accountability divorce, teen boundaries after divorce --- ### [Co-Parenting Without Escape Routes Series: Part 1 - When Kids Avoid Accountability in Co-Parenting: Stopping the Escape Hatch Pattern Early](https://dwdignity.com/co-parenting-avoid-accountability/) **Published:** August 12, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** *(Part 1 of our August 2025 Back-to-School Co-Parenting Series)* --- ## **Introduction: The Back-to-School Accountability Test** August brings more than fresh notebooks and sharpened pencils. For many co-parents, it’s also the start of a seasonal stress spike — new schedules, heavier homework loads, early mornings, extracurricular chaos, and yes… more conflict at home. It’s around this time every year that certain co-parenting patterns rear their heads, one of the most challenging being **the “escape hatch” dynamic**: A rule gets enforced in one home, a consequence is given, and suddenly the child wants to stay at the other parent’s house “just for a few days.” It might seem harmless — even compassionate — to allow the move. But when it becomes a go-to solution, you risk teaching your child that **conflict is something to run from, not work through**. ## **Why This Matters Now** This isn’t just a parenting inconvenience. It’s a developmental fork in the road. - **Short term:** Kids avoid resolving issues, missing an opportunity to learn accountability. - **Long term:** They carry that avoidance into adult relationships, workplaces, and even financial decisions — choosing the path of escape over the work of repair. And in today’s climate, the risk is heightened: - Economic strain makes it tempting for parents to keep the peace by “letting it slide.” - Work-from-home fatigue and split schedules can sap the energy needed for united discipline. - Kids have instant alternatives — from the other parent’s house to screens and friends — to avoid uncomfortable conversations. ## **Recognizing the Early Warning Signs** If you’ve ever wondered whether this pattern is forming in your home, watch for these red flags: #### **1. Sudden Custody Preference Changes After a Conflict** The moment a consequence is issued — whether it’s about grades, chores, or disrespect — your child requests a stay at the other parent’s house. #### **2. “Forgotten” Responsibilities** Missed homework, broken curfews, or incomplete chores simply vanish when the child changes households, with no follow-up. #### **3. Withdrawal Into Isolation** Rather than talking it through, the child disappears into their room, device, or a friend’s house until the tension blows over. ## **The Emotional Cost of Avoidance** The real danger here isn’t just uncompleted chores — it’s the emotional muscle your child isn’t building. Conflict resolution, self-reflection, and follow-through are skills learned through repetition. Without them, your child’s go-to coping strategy becomes flight, not repair. Over years, that can morph into: - Quitting jobs instead of working through challenges. - Ending relationships instead of addressing issues. - Avoiding necessary conversations about finances, health, and commitments. ## **The “Escape Hatch” in Action: A Common Scenario** ![When Kids Avoid Accountability in Co-Parenting - Divorce With Dignity](https://peacefuldivorcebusiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/iStock-2186815351-300x200.jpg)***When Kids Avoid Accountability in Co-Parenting – Divorce With Dignity*** Imagine a 12-year-old who didn’t turn in a major project. Parent A enforces a consequence — loss of gaming time for a week until all assignments are caught up. Within hours, the child is texting Parent B: *“Can I stay with you for a few days? It’s too stressful here.”* Parent B, wanting to be supportive, says yes. At their house, the child has full gaming privileges. The project still isn’t finished, but the emotional discomfort is gone. This doesn’t just undermine Parent A — it sends a clear message to the child: *“If you don’t like a rule, find a way out.”* ## **How to Positively Manage and Prevent the Pattern** The good news: you can address this pattern before it becomes entrenched. It takes unity, clarity, and some proactive planning. #### **1. Unified Expectations Between Homes** Agree in writing that responsibilities and consequences follow the child between households. Example: If homework isn’t done at Parent A’s house, Parent B enforces the same consequence until it’s complete. #### **2. Cooling Off vs. Avoidance** Yes, sometimes space is healthy. But it should be space with a plan to return and resolve, not space to avoid. Example: “Take tonight at your other parent’s house to cool off, but we’ll finish this conversation tomorrow.” #### **3. Focus on Repair, Not Punishment** Shift the narrative from “You’re grounded” to “Here’s how you can rebuild trust.” Example: Replace a week-long grounding with a specific action plan to make amends. #### **4. Mediation Support for Parents** If direct agreement feels impossible, use a mediator to create a **shared consequence system**. A neutral third party can help both parents commit to consistency without getting caught in personal conflict. #### **5. Model Healthy Conflict Resolution** Your kids are watching. Demonstrating how you navigate disagreement with their other parent teaches them that conflict isn’t dangerous — it’s a normal part of relationships. ## **For Parents Wondering: “How Did We Get Here?”** If your child is already skilled at parent-hopping, it’s not too late. Avoid blaming yourself or your co-parent for the past. Instead, frame this as a **reset moment**: - Call a meeting with the other parent to realign. - Acknowledge where inconsistency has happened and agree on a fresh start. - Communicate the new approach to your child together. ## **The Role of Mediation** This is where a service like *The Divorce With Dignity Network* can change the game. We help co-parents build practical, child-focused agreements — not just custody schedules. This includes **clear accountability systems** that protect both households from being pitted against each other. ## **Key Takeaway** The “escape hatch” may feel like a small crack in the co-parenting plan, but left unaddressed, it can widen into a long-term relationship pattern your child carries into adulthood. By closing that hatch — with consistency, unity, and a focus on repair — you’re giving your child the tools to face challenges head-on. **Get Support From Someone Who’s Been There** If you’re facing co-parenting challenges — whether you’re just starting to create a plan, navigating new conflicts, or wondering how things went off track — you don’t have to figure it out alone. Our *Divorce With Dignity Network* Providers have faced co-parenting themselves and understand the real-life challenges that come with raising kids in two homes. They can help you create agreements that prevent undermining, close the “escape hatches,” and keep your children accountable in healthy, age-appropriate ways. **[Find a Provider near you →](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)** --- **Next in the Series:** In **Part 2**, we’ll explore how the same avoidance pattern shows up in *screens and digital distractions*, and how to redirect kids toward healthy resolution instead of letting devices become their primary coping tool. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Overcoming Obstacles **Tags:** accountability in parenting, avoiding parental undermining, child avoidance patterns, co-parent undermining, co-parenting accountability, co-parenting strategies, consistent parenting rules, divorce mediation tips, escape hatch parenting, mediation for co-parenting, parenting after divorce, parenting consistency, parenting plan enforcement, peaceful divorce --- ### [Social Media Caution for Co-Parents: Protecting Your Family’s Peace in the Digital Age](https://dwdignity.com/social-media-caution-for-co-parents-protecting-your-familys-peace-in-the-digital-age/) **Published:** July 23, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** In the age of digital oversharing, even a simple post can trigger emotional fallout in co-parenting relationships. Middle Georgia divorce attorney Michael Lemon, Esq. offers compassionate, practical advice for protecting your family’s dignity online. **Content:** **By Michael Lemon, Esq., Divorce Mediator and Coach, Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia** In the age of digital oversharing, even a simple post can trigger emotional fallout in co-parenting relationships. Middle Georgia divorce attorney Michael Lemon, Esq. offers compassionate, practical advice for protecting your family’s dignity online. --- Let’s face it—social media is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it keeps us connected. On the other, it can stir up conflict faster than you can hit “post.” For co-parents navigating the already challenging road of post-divorce parenting, social media isn’t just a place to share—it’s a potential landmine. As a family law attorney serving Middle Georgia, I’ve walked alongside countless parents working hard to build a respectful, stable life for their kids after divorce. One of the most overlooked dangers? Oversharing online. In this blog, I want to offer guidance—not judgment. Drawing inspiration from experts like CoParenter and Erin Birt, we’ll explore why social media requires special care for co-parents, and how you can use it (or not use it) to help your family move forward with grace and dignity. ### **Why Social Media Matters So Much in Co-Parenting** Here’s the thing—social media posts might feel harmless in the moment, but in the context of co-parenting, they carry real weight. Comments can be misinterpreted, photos can stir up resentment, and even a passive-aggressive quote can ignite conflict. Just think: - Would you want your child reading that post in five years? - What if your ex’s attorney screenshots it? - Is this going to help or hurt the parenting relationship? Whether you’re newly divorced or years into a co-parenting arrangement, it’s worth pausing before you post. ### **The Big Three: Privacy, Positivity, and Permission** From my years practicing family law and partnering with thoughtful resources like [CoParenter](https://www.coparenter.com/) and [The Law Firm of Erin Birt](https://birtlaw.com/), I’ve noticed three key principles that help families steer clear of social media drama: #### **1. Privacy Is Protection** Keep family matters offline. Full stop. While it might feel therapeutic to share your struggles publicly, social media isn’t your therapist—and it sure isn’t private. Instead: - Lean on close friends or professionals in a confidential setting. - Avoid posting anything that hints at legal issues, parenting disputes, or co-parenting frustrations. - Remember: What you post can be used in court, especially in custody modifications. #### **2. Positivity Sets the Tone** No one benefits from negativity—especially your kids. Speak (and post) as if your children are watching, because one day, they might be. What works: - Share neutral or positive updates. - Highlight your kids’ milestones without shade toward the other parent. - Use language that uplifts your family’s journey, even if things aren’t perfect. #### **3. Permission Prevents Problems** Got a great photo of your kid with your ex at a school event? Fantastic—but don’t post it without checking in first. Respect goes a long way. Tips: - Always ask before posting shared family photos. - Establish social media boundaries in your parenting plan if possible. - Use neutral apps or tools to communicate about posts when needed. ### **Real Talk: Why Venting Online Backfires** Look, we’ve all been there. A tough day, a frustrating conversation, and that itch to post a vague quote or spicy rant. But here’s the problem: what feels like release often causes ripple effects. Venting online: - Undermines trust between co-parents - Can be weaponized in legal disputes - Sends the wrong message to your kids Instead, consider healthier outlets: - Talk to a friend, therapist, or support group - Journal it out privately - Get outside or unplug for a while Trust me—as someone who helps families every day—it’s worth the restraint. ### **When in Doubt, Don’t Post** This isn’t just about conflict prevention; it’s about protecting your peace. Social media isn’t going anywhere, but you don’t have to engage with it in ways that hurt your co-parenting relationship. Ask yourself: - Does this post bring peace or create tension? - Am I looking for support—or sympathy at someone else’s expense? - Would I be okay with my child seeing this in the future? If the answer isn’t a confident yes, skip it. Your peace, your children, and your co-parenting partnership are more valuable than a few likes or comments. ### **How I Help Families Navigate Divorce with Dignity** At [Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/), my focus is simple: helping families move forward with compassion, respect, and practical guidance. Whether you’re going through a divorce or learning to co-parent more effectively, I’m here to support you every step of the way. Through mediation, legal counsel, and a human-centered approach, I’ve seen time and again how avoiding social media missteps can save time, money, and heartache down the road. ### **Quick Tips for Co-Parenting on Social Media** Here’s a cheat sheet to keep handy: ✅ Think before you post ✅ Keep legal issues offline ✅ Never badmouth your ex ✅ Ask before sharing photos ✅ Use private channels to vent ✅ Stay focused on the kids ✅ When in doubt, log out ### **FAQs** **Can social media really impact custody or legal decisions? Absolutely. Judges and attorneys can consider online posts as evidence of parental behavior, attitude, or even mental fitness. **Is it okay to post photos of my kids without asking my ex? Legally, it depends—but ethically, it’s best to ask. Mutual respect goes a long way in co-parenting. **How can I communicate better with my co-parent about social media? Consider setting clear boundaries in your parenting plan, or using apps like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents to keep things respectful and documented. ### **Final Thoughts: Choose Peace Over Posts** ![Michael Lemon, Divorce With Dignity - Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Michael-Lemon-300x300.jpg)Michael Lemon, Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia At the end of the day, co-parenting is about collaboration, not competition. Social media might tempt you to tell your side or blow off steam—but your long-term peace and your children’s well-being are worth more than the momentary satisfaction of a pointed post. If you’re navigating the ups and downs of post-divorce parenting and need guidance that’s both firm and compassionate, I’m here to help. Visit [Divorce With Dignity – Michael Lemon, Esq.](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/) to learn more about how we support Middle Georgia families through every step of the journey. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Children and Divorce Rates, Co-Parenting, Life After Divorce **Tags:** Co-Parenting, co-parenting communication, custody tips, digital boundaries, Divorce Advice, divorce with dignity, family law, family lawyer blog, Michael Lemon Esq, Middle Georgia attorney, online privacy, parenting plan, protecting kids online, respectful co-parenting, social media caution --- ### [When the Home Feels Empty: Using the Silence to Rebuild Yourself](https://dwdignity.com/edefine-yourself-empty-home-divorcestrong-nicole-lewis/) **Published:** July 23, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** By **Nicole R. Lewis, Esq., Divorce With Dignity Provider [Learn more about Nicole here](https://dwdignity.com/nicole-lewis/) Let’s be honest—nothing quite prepares you for the moment when your child walks out the door for their week at the other parent’s home. That sudden hush? It hits differently. The once-bustling kitchen, the empty bedrooms, even the untouched remote on the couch—all reminders of the shift your life has taken. If you read our [main Divorce With Dignity blog post](https://dwdignity.com/emotional-side-co-parenting-empty-home/), you know how emotional co-parenting can be, especially when the home feels hollow. But today, I want to take things a little deeper. This isn’t just about sitting with the silence. It’s about using that stillness to **redefine who you are now**—as a person, not just a parent or former partner. ## **Grieving the Noise, Embracing the Stillness** Grief doesn’t just show up when you lose someone. It creeps in when routines shift, when identities feel unclear, and when life no longer looks how you pictured it. That grief is valid. And yet, there’s power hidden in that pause. In those moments of silence—when the calendar isn’t screaming with school runs, when no one is calling “Mom!” or “Dad!” from the other room—you have something incredibly rare: **time**. Time to reflect. Time to reset. Time to rebuild. ## **So… Now What?** Here’s where the story flips. What if this empty space, this quiet home, is your **invitation** to finally invest in yourself? What if instead of filling the void with distractions or despair, you fill it with strength, purpose, and clarity? ## **Introducing DivorceStrong: Not Just Healing, But Reinvention** Enter **DivorceStrong**—a powerful resource for people like you who aren’t just looking to heal from divorce… but grow through it. DivorceStrong isn’t your typical “bounce-back” program. It’s not about pretending you’re fine or pushing through the pain. Instead, it meets you right where you are—emotionally, physically, mentally—and gives you tools to build yourself back stronger than ever. Here’s what makes DivorceStrong such a game-changer during this chapter: ### **Emotional Resilience** - Guided resources to help you process grief and rediscover joy - Exercises to redefine your values and what *you* want in life moving forward ### **Physical Wellness** - Fitness programs designed specifically for newly single parents rebuilding routines - Nutrition tips for energy, confidence, and long-term vitality ### **Mind-Body Connection** - Mindfulness practices to ease anxiety and promote peace - Simple, actionable habits to create daily structure and self-care By making yourself a priority, you’re not just healing after divorce—you’re **reclaiming your life**. ## **Redefining Who You Are—Not Just What You Were** Post-divorce identity can feel like a blank slate. And let’s be honest, that can be a little terrifying. But here’s the secret: it’s also incredibly liberating. You get to ask: - What do I want now? - What makes me feel strong, proud, fulfilled? - Who do I want to be in this new chapter? Spoiler alert: You’re allowed to change everything. And you’re allowed to start small. ## **How to Start Rebuilding in the Empty Moments** Not sure where to begin? Here are a few small but powerful ways to turn an empty house into fertile ground for a new you: ### **1. Create a “You” Routine** Instead of planning around others, schedule time for things that feed your soul—whether it’s yoga, journaling, or learning a new hobby. ### **2. Design a Vision Board** Literally map out who you want to become. It helps you stay focused on the big picture when emotions feel messy. ### **3. Join DivorceStrong** It’s not just a resource—it’s a *movement*. Join a community of people who get it and who are ready to support you every step of the way. ## **You Are Not Starting Over—You’re Starting Fresh** There’s a difference between rebuilding and starting over. You still have wisdom, experience, and heart—so this isn’t from scratch. It’s from strength. And you don’t have to do it alone. Whether you’re just dipping your toes into this new season or ready to jump into self-reinvention headfirst, know this: the empty home isn’t a punishment—it’s an opportunity. An opportunity to meet the new you. ## **FAQs** **Q: How long should I wait after my divorce to start focusing on myself? A: There’s no perfect timeline. Start when you feel ready—even small steps like stretching in the morning or reading again count as self-care. **Q: Is DivorceStrong only for people who are physically active? A: Nope! It’s designed for *every level*, with holistic resources for emotional healing, mental wellness, and gentle physical health too. **Q: Will working on myself take away from my kids? A: Quite the opposite. When you prioritize your own well-being, you become a more grounded, energized, and joyful parent. ## **What Now?** If you’re ready to stop waiting and start **becoming**, [learn more about DivorceStrong here](#) (link placeholder). And if you haven’t yet read our companion piece, [“The Emotional Side of Co-Parenting and an Empty Home”](https://dwdignity.com/emotional-side-co-parenting-empty-home/), it’s a great place to start. You’re not broken. You’re becoming. ### **Final Thought from Nicole R. Lewis, Esq.** ![Nicole Lewis Napa Solano Amicable Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Web-Page-Photo-Nicole-Lewis-Napa-and-Solano-1-300x300.png)Nicole R. Lewis, Esq., Provider and Mediator, Divorce With Dignity – Napa and Solano “As a legal advocate, I help my clients navigate the logistics of divorce. But as a human being, I want you to know you’re more than the paperwork. You’re a whole person—still worthy of joy, still capable of growth. Divorce isn’t the end of your story. It’s a turning point. Let’s make it count.” ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Life After Divorce, Mediation, Wellness **Tags:** co-parenting emotions, divorce healing, divorce support programs, divorce with dignity, DivorceStrong, emotional recovery divorce, empty home after divorce, finding purpose after divorce, healing from divorce, life after custody exchange, Nicole R. Lewis Esq, post-divorce self-care, rebuilding after divorce, self-reinvention after divorce, Starting Over After Divorce --- ### [Welcome Debbie Main, LDA – Guiding You Through Divorce with Dignity in Placer & Sacramento Counties](https://dwdignity.com/debbie-main-lda-divorce-document-assistant/) **Published:** July 23, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** We’re thrilled to welcome Debbie Main, LDA, a seasoned and compassionate Legal Document Assistant now serving Placer and Sacramento Counties. Specializing in peaceful and affordable divorce document preparation, Debbie is here to help you move forward with dignity. **Content:** We’re beyond excited to welcome **Debbie Main LDA**, a compassionate and experienced Legal Document Assistant now serving clients in Placer and Sacramento Counties. With a clear mission to provide affordable and respectful divorce document preparation, Debbie is here to support you every step of the way. --- ## **Say Hello to Debbie Main, LDA!** If you’ve ever found yourself staring down a mountain of legal forms during a divorce, unsure of where to begin—Debbie Main, LDA, has got your back. Debbie is the powerhouse behind [Divorce With Dignity – Placer & Sacramento Counties](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-document-preparation-in-placer-sacramento-ca-debbie-main/), where she offers calm, competent guidance to individuals and couples looking to complete their divorce with as little stress as possible. As a **Registered Legal Document Assistant (LDA)**, Debbie helps self-represented individuals with all the legal paperwork required during divorce proceedings—without the high cost of hiring a divorce attorney. ### **Why Choose Debbie Main?** So what sets Debbie apart from the rest? Let’s break it down: - **Compassion First:** Divorce is emotional—Debbie gets it. She’s not just efficient with paperwork, she’s also a calming presence during chaotic times. - **Paperwork, Perfected:** With her deep knowledge of California court requirements, you can rest easy knowing every “i” is dotted and “t” crossed. - **Cost-Conscious:** Why spend thousands on a lawyer for an uncontested divorce? Debbie’s services offer serious savings with no compromise in quality. - **Local Expertise:** Proudly serving **Placer and Sacramento Counties**, she knows exactly what the local courts expect. - **Focus on Peace:** If you’re aiming for a cooperative, non-adversarial divorce, she’s the perfect partner. ### **What Services Does Debbie Offer?** Debbie provides a wide range of document preparation services related to family law, including: - Divorce and legal separation paperwork - Child custody and visitation agreements - Spousal support and child support documents - Property division documentation - Marital settlement agreements - Court filing assistance - Notary services And guess what? You don’t even have to step foot in court—Debbie helps you handle everything behind the scenes when possible. ### **📍 Serving Placer & Sacramento with Care** Whether you’re in **Roseville**, **Rocklin**, **Auburn**, **Citrus Heights**, **Folsom**, or downtown **Sacramento**, Debbie’s services are available both in-person and virtually, depending on your comfort level. Need help navigating local court procedures? Debbie knows the ins and outs of both counties and can guide you through the quirks and requirements of your specific court system. ### **What Clients Are Saying** > “Debbie made a very difficult time in my life so much easier. She was professional, empathetic, and incredibly helpful throughout the process.” – *Sarah T., Roseville > “Affordable, approachable, and fast. I highly recommend her to anyone looking for a peaceful divorce.” – *James L., Sacramento ### **How to Get Started** Starting the process is easy! Head over to Debbie’s website and book your initial consultation: 👉 [Visit Debbie Main’s Divorce With Dignity Page](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-document-preparation-in-placer-sacramento-ca-debbie-main/) You’ll find information on services, pricing, and the steps she’ll take to help you finalize your divorce in a respectful and cost-effective way. ### **Quick Recap – Why You’ll Love Working with Debbie** - Local and experienced - Cost-effective alternative to lawyers - Compassionate and judgment-free - Clear, step-by-step support - Committed to peaceful divorce outcomes ### **Frequently Asked Questions** **Q: What exactly is a Legal Document Assistant (LDA)? A: An LDA is a trained and registered professional who prepares legal documents for self-represented individuals. They are not attorneys and cannot give legal advice but are a great option for uncontested divorces and other routine legal matters. **Q: Can Debbie help if my divorce is contested? A: Debbie specializes in uncontested and cooperative divorce cases. If you’re unsure where yours falls, reach out and she’ll guide you on next steps. **Q: Is everything done in person? A: Nope! Debbie offers virtual consultations and remote services, making the process convenient and safe from anywhere in California. ### **Final Thoughts: A Divorce Process That Honors Your Dignity** Let’s be real—divorce is never easy. But with the right support, it doesn’t have to be messy or painfully expensive. That’s where Debbie Main, LDA, truly shines. She’s here to help you move forward with peace, respect, and the confidence that your paperwork is in expert hands. So if you or someone you know is considering a divorce and wants a smoother path forward, **Debbie is just a call (or click) away**. 👉 [Connect with Debbie Here](https://go.oncehub.com/DebbieMain) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Provider Spotlight **Tags:** affordable divorce services, Debbie Main, divorce document preparation, divorce paperwork help, divorce with dignity, divorce without a lawyer, family law forms, LDA, Legal Document Assistant, legal separation California, peaceful divorce, Placer County divorce, Sacramento divorce help, self-represented divorce, uncontested divorce California --- ### [The Emotional Weight of Co-Parenting: Facing the Silence After the Storm](https://dwdignity.com/emotional-side-co-parenting-empty-home/) **Published:** July 22, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** When the court orders are signed and the co-parenting plan is in place, a different kind of storm begins—one that many don’t see coming. It’s not about legal filings or custody exchanges anymore. It’s about walking into a home that feels too quiet, missing your child with a physical ache, and wondering, “Now what?” At DWDignity.com, we understand that co-parenting isn’t just a legal arrangement—it’s a deeply personal, emotional transition. And you don’t have to navigate it alone. --- ## More Than Just Paperwork: The Silent Struggles of Co-Parenting Let’s be honest—no one really prepares you for what comes after the agreement. Sure, there’s relief in avoiding court battles or finding common ground with your co-parent. But once that dust settles, many find themselves facing a heavier, more personal burden. - **Anxiety over your child’s well-being when you’re not there.** - **Loneliness that creeps in the minute the door closes behind them.** - **A house that feels too big, too quiet, too still.** - **The disorienting feeling of no longer being “needed” every day.** This isn’t just a tough adjustment. It’s grief. It’s identity loss. It’s mourning a version of life that once existed and recalibrating in a world that suddenly feels off-balance. ## “Coming Home to Silence” – What No One Talks About Even in amicable co-parenting arrangements, many parents admit that **the silence is the hardest part**. You spend your days in motion—drop-offs, pickups, meal prep, homework battles—and then, suddenly, it’s gone. No spilled juice. No tantrums. No laughter from the other room. Just silence. And in that silence? - **You miss them. Deeply.** - **You worry. Constantly.** - **You feel *really* jealous. Quietly.** Yes, jealousy—watching someone else share moments with your child that you wish were yours. Birthdays. Bedtime routines. A simple Tuesday night dinner. It’s all very real. And it’s okay to say it out loud. ## The Emotional Spiral: Anxiety, Guilt, and That “What Now?” Feeling Many co-parents describe a quiet mental spiral that starts with missing their child and leads to: - **Guilt** over not being there. - **Shame** for resenting their co-parent’s time. - **Fear** of becoming emotionally disconnected. - **Loss of identity** as a full-time parent. - **Anxiety** about everything from safety to influence to emotional bonding. And here’s the kicker: most people around you think you’re “fine” now. After all, the mediation went smoothly, the agreement was signed, and you’re both doing your part, right? But emotional healing doesn’t follow a schedule. And grief doesn’t check in with your calendar. ## This Isn’t Just a Legal Journey—It’s a Human One At **DWDignity.com**, we know that helping families navigate divorce or separation **isn’t just about finalizing paperwork**. It’s about supporting the whole person—the anxious parent, the grieving mother, the quiet father, the overwhelmed co-parent who’s trying to show up for their kid while quietly falling apart at home. Yes, we’re here to help with parenting plans, mediation, and respectful resolutions. But we also: - **Connect you with trusted emotional support professionals.** Therapists, grief counselors, coaches who understand co-parenting transitions. - **Offer vetted parenting resources** for building stronger bonds during your parenting time—no matter how limited or flexible. - **Help you feel seen and supported**, even after the ink dries on the agreement. Because the legal side might end, but the emotional journey continues. ## Making the Transition More Bearable (and Maybe Even Hopeful) So what can you do when that “empty home” feeling hits hard? Here are a few small steps that might help soften the edges: 1. **Build rituals for the time apart.** Write a note for your child to read later. Light a candle to mark the transition. These little actions can anchor you. 2. **Lean on your community.** Whether it’s a friend, sibling, therapist, or support group—we all need a place to say, “I’m not okay today.” 3. **Create meaning in your solo time.** This can be a time for rediscovery. Read the book you never finished. Take the walk you always skip. It won’t fill the void—but it can help you breathe in the silence. 4. **Acknowledge the hard stuff without shame.** Feelings of jealousy or loss don’t make you a bad parent. They make you a human one. ## You’re Not Alone—Even When It Feels That Way At **DWDignity.com**, we work with real people—not just “clients.” We know that the hardest part of co-parenting often begins **after** the court dates are over. And that’s why our support doesn’t stop there. Our mission is to make this transition not only manageable—but a little more human, a little more supported, and a lot more hopeful. ## FAQ: Emotional Side of Co-Parenting **Q: Is it normal to feel grief even after an amicable co-parenting agreement?** Absolutely. Grief isn’t always about bad endings—it can also stem from big life shifts, lost routines, or missing your child deeply. **Q: How can I manage the loneliness when my child is with the other parent?** Try creating meaningful rituals during your solo time, leaning on support networks, or connecting with a therapist who understands co-parenting transitions. DWDignity.com can help you get started. **Q: What if I feel resentment toward my co-parent’s time with our child?** You’re not alone. These feelings are valid—and talking to a counselor can help you process them constructively without guilt or shame. **Q: Does DWDignity.com offer emotional or therapeutic support?** Yes! We offer access to a network of trusted professionals, from therapists to family coaches, who are vetted for this exact kind of transition. ## Final Thoughts: You Deserve Support That Goes Beyond the Agreement When you’re facing an empty home, a quiet dinner table, and the ache of missing your child—it’s not a failure. It’s a chapter. And it doesn’t have to be one you face alone. **[Our Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) are here for more than the logistics. We’re here to help you plan for the *life* after the legal. For the emotional echoes. For the hard days. For the rebuilding.** And most importantly—for **you**. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Co-Parenting, co-parenting resources, custody transition, Divorce support, DWDignity, emotional support for co-parents, emotional toll of co-parenting, empty nest syndrome, loneliness after divorce, mental health and co-parenting, missing your child, parenting after separation, post-divorce parenting, shared custody emotions --- ### [Uncontested—But Still Unclear? Why So Many Amicable Divorces Stall Before They’re Filed](https://dwdignity.com/uncontested-but-still-unclear-why-so-many-amicable-divorces-stall-before-theyre-filed/) **Published:** June 30, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** By Denise Foster, LDA ## **Introduction: When “We Agree” Still Feels Stuck** In Alameda County and across California, many couples start the divorce process with a reassuring phrase: > “We agree on everything. We just need to get it done.” But then the paperwork starts. The questions begin. And the once-clear path gets foggy. If you’re in this boat, you’re not alone. Many of my clients come to me after months of delay—not because they were in conflict, but because they didn’t realize how much is involved in finalizing even an uncontested divorce in California. Let’s take a look at why so many amicable divorces stall out—and how to keep yours moving. ## **Understanding the Term “Uncontested Divorce”** In California, an uncontested divorce means both spouses: - Agree on *every* issue (property division, support, parenting plans, etc.) - Are willing to sign all required documents - Do not need a judge to make decisions for them It doesn’t mean the process is automatic. It still requires multiple steps: - Financial disclosures - Proper legal language in your agreement - Accurate, timely forms - A final court review and judgment Even when there’s no conflict, there can still be confusion. ## **Why Amicable Divorces Get Stuck** Here are the most common reasons: **1. The Forms Are Overwhelming** California requires over a dozen legal forms depending on your situation. Just choosing the right ones (FL-100? FL-180? FL-150?) is a challenge. **2. Agreements Are Too Vague** You may agree on “who gets what” — but your court needs clear, enforceable terms. That includes specific timelines, values, or percentages. **3. Mistakes Cause Rejection** Incorrect or incomplete filings are a leading cause of delay. One misstep can send your case back to square one. **4. Support Calculations Are Confusing** Even if you’re in agreement, you’ll need to properly calculate and disclose child or spousal support using approved guidelines and documentation. **5. It’s Just Too Much Emotionally** Let’s be honest: divorce is draining. The paperwork alone can feel like too much when you’re grieving, managing kids, or just trying to move forward. ## **What You Actually Need to Finalize Your Divorce** Even if you agree on everything, here’s what still needs to happen: - Full financial disclosures (Schedule of Assets and Debts) - A Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) written in acceptable legal format - Correct court forms, properly completed and signed - Filing and service procedures that meet California rules - (In some cases) Notarized documents and parenting plan details Doing it wrong can lead to rejection. Doing it right can bring relief. ## **How I Help Uncontested Divorce Clients** My clients don’t come to me because they’re in conflict. They come because they want to: - Get it done right - Avoid going to court - Stay peaceful through the process - Know that it’s handled professionally I help by: - Reviewing or creating your full divorce agreement - Calculating support using California guidelines - Preparing and filing every court document on your behalf - Handling your child support worksheet, parenting plan, or asset disclosures - Walking you through each step so you never feel confused or alone You don’t need a judge. You need a guide. ## **Beyond Divorce: Additional Support** I also help Alameda County residents with: - Name changes - Adoptions - Wills and trusts - Conservatorships - Paternity filings - Probate paperwork - Restraining orders (when needed for safety) Many clients return when life brings other legal transitions. It’s always an honor to support people through life’s next chapter. ## **What Clients Say** > “Denise took care of everything. It was such a relief. She answered all my questions, and I never felt rushed. It felt like a friend was helping me through a really hard time.” > “I thought we could do the paperwork ourselves—but I’m so glad we didn’t. Denise saved us from delays and court appearances. Worth every penny.” ## **Don’t Let an Easy Divorce Turn Complicated** If you and your spouse are mostly in agreement, that’s something to be proud of. Now make sure the process reflects that same peace and clarity. Let me help you: - Finish your divorce efficiently - Stay out of court - Save time, money, and stress **Schedule your free call today** to talk about your situation and get a clear plan: **[Book now](https://go.oncehub.com/DeniseFoster)** --- ![Denise Foster - Divorce With Dignity - Alameda](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Denise-Foster-Divorce-With-Dignity-Alameda-2024-Circle-300x300.png)***Denise Foster – Divorce With Dignity – Alameda*** **About the Author** Denise Foster is a Divorce With Dignity Provider serving Alameda County since 1995. A certified paralegal and mediation-trained professional, she provides legal document assistance, divorce planning, and compassionate support for people seeking peaceful, cost-effective resolutions. Her mission is to make the legal system accessible, efficient, and human. **Learn more or schedule a free consultation at** [**Divorce With Dignity – Alameda County**](https://dwdignity.com/denise-foster/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Papers, Divorce Process --- ### [Our Divorce Isn’t Ugly—But It’s Not Easy Either. What Are Our Options?](https://dwdignity.com/our-divorce-isnt-ugly-but-its-not-easy-either-what-are-our-options/) **Published:** June 27, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** By Gina Lee, Esq. ## **Introduction: A Common Starting Point** If you’re like many couples pursuing an amicable divorce in California who are navigating divorce, your situation might sound like this: > “We basically know how we want to divide everything. It’s not hostile. We just want to move on.” But even with good intentions and broad agreement, that next step can feel surprisingly unclear. How do you turn “pretty much figured out” into a legally valid, efficient, and emotionally manageable divorce? That gray area—not high-conflict, but not fully resolved either—is more common than people realize. And it deserves its own approach. ## **The Myth of the “Already Agreed” Divorce** It’s a relief to be on the same page in principle. But in practice, most “we already agreed” divorces still hit a few sticking points: - What if one of you changes your mind mid-process? - What exactly needs to be included in a Marital Settlement Agreement? - How do you handle pensions, stock options, or co-owned property? - Do verbal agreements hold up in court? - What if things start friendly but get emotional later? You don’t need litigation—but you do need structure. ## **Why This Stage Feels So Uncertain** Many couples feel stalled not because they disagree, but because they *don’t know what they don’t know.* Divorce in California still involves: - Mandatory financial disclosures (even if you’re in agreement) - Legally required forms that must be filled out correctly (FL-100, FL-142, FL-180, etc.) - A written agreement that covers all necessary legal points - Submission to the court—even if you never appear in one It’s not that the process is contentious. It’s just complex. ## **What Amicable, But Not Easy, Really Looks Like** Here are some examples of the in-between zone where many people find themselves: - You agree on major property division but aren’t sure how to word it legally. - You both want what’s fair but need help calculating spousal support. - You have kids and agree on a general schedule, but haven’t worked out holidays, travel, or communication plans. - You feel emotionally exhausted and want someone else to just take the wheel on the logistics. This is where a guided, attorney-informed process shines. ## **Your Options When You Don’t Need Court—But Still Need Help** 1. **Mediation with Legal Oversight** Gina offers a legally-informed mediation process. That means she can: - Guide you through discussions on any stuck points - Explain how California law applies to your specific situation - Draft your full Marital Settlement Agreement and all required court forms - Handle the filing from start to finish This approach keeps you out of court, keeps things efficient, and ensures your paperwork is legally sound. 2. **Divorce Planning & Facilitation** If you’re early in the process and still exploring your options, Gina can facilitate that conversation. She’ll help you: - Identify what needs to be decided - Clarify legal requirements - Develop a clear, personalized roadmap—so nothing gets missed 3. **Legal Document Preparation Only** For couples who have truly resolved all issues and just need everything properly documented and filed, Gina can prepare and file all required documents quickly and efficiently. But even here, she still checks for legal blind spots. ## **Why This Isn’t Just a Paperwork Issue** Many couples underestimate how emotional decision-making can become when it gets real. What felt like a mutual agreement at the kitchen table can get complicated when someone actually sees a spousal support number on paper or reads legal language about custody. Having a calm, skilled professional in the room can keep momentum going when things feel emotionally foggy or unexpectedly triggering. ## **Common Misconceptions** - *We don’t need help because we’re getting along.* Getting along is *great.* But staying on track, meeting legal requirements, and avoiding costly errors still takes guidance. - *We can just write something up and sign it.* Unfortunately, courts often reject homemade agreements that don’t meet legal standards—even if both parties sign. - *We want to save money, so we don’t want to hire anyone.* A smooth, complete process now is usually far cheaper than fixing mistakes later—or being pulled into a court process because the paperwork wasn’t done correctly. ## **What Working with Gina Looks Like** Gina Lee, Esq. is not a typical mediator. She’s a licensed California attorney with a background in teaching bar exam law—which means she’s uniquely equipped to break down legal concepts and guide couples through a streamlined, fully informed divorce process. She’s efficient, focused, and committed to helping people move through this process with clarity and peace. No chaos. No dragging things out. No confusing legalese. ## **Your Next Step: Clarity** If you’re feeling stuck somewhere between “we’re good” and “we need help,” you’re not alone. This is one of the most common (and most overlooked) stages of divorce. You don’t have to do it all yourself. You also don’t need to brace for a battle. You just need the right support. **Schedule a consultation with Gina today** to talk through where you are and how she can help. **[Book now](https://calendly.com/glee-dwdignity/)** --- ### **About the Author** ![Gina Lee, Esq. - Divorce With Dignity - Marin and Sonoma](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Gina-lee-round-300x300.png)***Gina Lee, Esq. – Divorce With Dignity – Marin and Sonoma*** Gina Lee, Esq. is a California-licensed family law attorney, certified mediator, and former bar exam instructor serving Marin and Sonoma counties. Known for her precision, clarity, and no-nonsense efficiency, Gina helps couples navigate amicable divorce with confidence, compassion, and complete legal support—without stepping foot in court. 👉 Ready to simplify your next step? **[Schedule your consultation today.](https://dwdignity.com/gina-lee-marin-sonoma/)** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Dividing Assets, Divorce Papers, Divorce Process, DIY Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce California, California marital settlement agreement, divorce mediator Marin Sonoma, divorce paperwork help CA, not high conflict divorce CA --- ### [When the Conflict Is Quiet: Navigating Emotionally Subtle Divorces with Clarity and Care](https://dwdignity.com/when-the-conflict-is-quiet-navigating-emotionally-subtle-divorces-with-clarity-and-care/) **Published:** June 25, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** **Author: Michael Lemon, Esq.** Divorce Attorney, Mediator, & Coach | Serving Middle Georgia Guiding families through peaceful divorce with clarity, integrity, and care. ### Introduction Not all divorces are filled with shouting matches or slammed doors. In fact, some of the most difficult separations I see involve very little visible conflict. No court orders. No lawyers on speed dial. Just… distance. Disconnection. Silence. I call these *quiet divorces*—and while they may look peaceful on the outside, they come with their own kind of pain. As a mediator and divorce professional in Middle Georgia, I meet many couples who aren’t battling each other. They’re simply done. But even when both spouses want to move on respectfully, that doesn’t mean the process is easy. Let’s talk about how peaceful divorce mediation can support couples through this quieter—but still emotionally complex—path. ### The Myth of the “Easy Divorce” When friends or family hear that you’re not fighting, they may say, “At least it’ll be simple.” But the truth is, even when both people want a respectful, cooperative process, there’s still grief, uncertainty, and important decisions ahead. You may face: - Subtle power imbalances - Emotional shutdown or avoidance - Questions around fairness without someone “keeping score” - A lack of urgency that makes the process linger Peaceful doesn’t mean painless—and it certainly doesn’t mean directionless. ### What Peaceful Divorce Mediation Really Offers Mediation isn’t just a way to avoid court. It’s a framework that gives structure to a period of life that can otherwise feel shapeless. For couples in a quiet divorce, mediation offers: - **Clarity** when emotions are buried or unspoken - **Structure** when both people are avoiding conflict - **Support** in surfacing unspoken needs respectfully - **Forward motion** when no one wants to push the other It creates a protected space where dignity and honesty can both live. ### What It Looks Like in Practice In my mediation room, a peaceful divorce doesn’t mean people are smiling and nodding through everything. It means both spouses are committed to resolving their differences with care and respect. Some examples: - One partner has quietly taken on more parenting responsibilities and isn’t sure how to bring that up. - The couple has already divided some finances informally but wants help documenting it correctly and legally. - Both want to protect their children from emotional upheaval but are struggling to agree on a parenting schedule that doesn’t feel like a loss. These situations don’t require a judge—they require attention, empathy, and guided decision-making. ### A Word on Emotional Ambiguity One of the hardest parts of a quiet divorce is that it doesn’t always feel clear-cut. You might still get along. You might still care. There might even be moments of nostalgia or connection. That’s normal. Mediation can hold space for those mixed emotions without getting lost in them. It allows you to process the logistics without pretending you’re unaffected. And it helps prevent regret—because decisions are made deliberately, not reactively. ### Why It’s Especially Relevant Now (June 2025) In my work lately, I’ve seen more couples who: - Took a pause during the pandemic and are only now addressing long-standing issues - Stayed together “for the kids” and now face transitions with graduation or empty nests - Want to preserve family harmony for future holidays, graduations, and grandparenting These aren’t people in crisis—they’re people in transition. And that requires a different kind of support. ### The Role of a Mediator in a Low-Conflict Divorce When there’s no major crisis, you might wonder: *Why bring in a mediator at all?* Here’s what I’ve found helps most: - **Naming the unspoken** – Gently bringing up dynamics that haven’t been addressed - **Balancing power** – Ensuring one person doesn’t carry the emotional or logistical weight alone - **Clarifying agreements** – Putting verbal understandings into durable legal documents - **Encouraging follow-through** – Helping both people take the necessary steps with accountability Even the calmest waters need a current to move forward. ### A Middle Georgia Perspective In our community, we often prize resilience and staying private about personal matters. I respect that. But I also know how much easier things become when you have a trusted, confidential space to work through the details—without going to court or dragging things out unnecessarily. I offer flat-fee mediation options here in Middle Georgia because I believe families deserve clear, accessible support—especially when they’re trying to do this the right way. But more than anything, I offer space. A space to move forward with clarity, mutual respect, and the freedom to close this chapter with grace. ### A Gentle Invitation If you’re in the early stages of separation—or even just quietly considering it—you’re not alone. A peaceful divorce doesn’t have to mean going it alone, nor does it mean avoiding the hard conversations. You deserve a process that reflects your values. Whether or not you’re ready to begin, I offer a free, confidential discovery call to help you get oriented. No pressure. Just a chance to talk through your options with someone who understands the quieter kind of conflict—and how to navigate it with care. ### Final Thoughts Sometimes the most important work happens without drama or noise. If your divorce feels quiet on the surface but complex underneath, I see you. Mediation isn’t just about staying out of court. It’s about honoring what was and building what’s next—with dignity. Let’s make that possible. Together. --- ![Michael Lemon, Divorce With Dignity - Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Michael-Lemon-300x300.jpg)***Michael Lemon, Esq., Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia*** ### **About the Author** Michael Lemon, Esq., is a licensed family law attorney and professional mediator serving clients throughout Middle Georgia. Known for his calm, grounded approach, Michael helps individuals and couples navigate divorce without going to court—offering flat-fee services that emphasize cooperation, clarity, and dignity. His work integrates deep legal knowledge with a commitment to emotional intelligence and long-term family well-being. ### 📞 **Interested in a Peaceful Divorce?** If you’re facing a quiet separation—or just starting to consider your options—Michael offers a free, confidential discovery call to help you explore your next step with clarity and calm. 👉 [**Schedule your free call here.**](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/) Let dignity lead the way. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Coaching, Is It Time To Divorce?, Mediation **Tags:** attorney mediator, cooperative divorce, divorce mediation, divorce support Georgia, divorce without conflict, emotional divorce, family law Georgia, flat-fee mediation, Middle Georgia divorce, out of court divorce, peaceful divorce, pet custody, quiet divorce --- ### [Welcome to Divorce With Dignity, Cory J. Flohr](https://dwdignity.com/welcome-cory-flohr-divorce-mediator-colorado/) **Published:** June 11, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** *By Cindy Elwell, CEO & Founder, Divorce With Dignity Network* When you meet Cory J. Flohr, South Metro Colorado Divorce Mediator, you immediately sense it: the calm. The steadiness. The quiet confidence of someone who’s not only capable—but deeply committed to helping people through one of the hardest transitions of their lives. It’s with great pride that I introduce Cory J. Flohr as the newest member of the Divorce With Dignity Network. Based in South Metro Colorado and serving Douglas and El Paso Counties, Cory brings a rare blend of practical skill, grounded insight, and personal experience to his work as a Certified Divorce Mediator. And in true Divorce With Dignity fashion, Cory is more than his certifications. He’s a father. A former pilot. A public service professional. And most importantly, someone who knows firsthand what it takes to navigate divorce—not just legally, but emotionally and logistically too. ### Calm in the Storm: Why Cory’s Presence Matters Every family navigating divorce needs a steady guide. Cory J. Flohr, South Metro Colorado Divorce Mediator, is that guide. His clients benefit from a demeanor shaped by decades in high-pressure roles, including time spent advising members of Congress and piloting commercial aircraft. If you can stay calm at 30,000 feet or on the Senate floor, you can stay calm in a mediation session—and that calm is contagious. Cory brings structure to uncertainty. His background in logistics and negotiation helps couples make clear, informed decisions, even when emotions run high. He doesn’t push. He doesn’t judge. He facilitates conversations that help people feel seen, respected, and in control. ### He’s Been There—And That Changes Everything While his professional experience is impressive, it’s Cory’s personal story that makes his work resonate so deeply. He’s lived through divorce. He’s co-parented. He’s wrestled with the hard choices and complex feelings that so many of our clients face. That lived experience informs everything he does. Cory knows what it means to balance logic with compassion. He knows what it means to protect your child’s well-being while negotiating your own needs. And he knows that every decision made during a divorce carries weight—not just legally, but emotionally, financially, and relationally. ### A Good Fit for People Who Want Clarity (Not Chaos) One of the values we hold dear at Divorce With Dignity is that divorce doesn’t have to be a war. Cory J. Flohr embodies that belief. He works best with clients who are willing to be thoughtful, intentional, and honest—even if they don’t always agree. He offers: - Full divorce mediation for couples who want to avoid court - Strategic divorce coaching for individuals who need guidance - Parenting plan development and co-parenting support - Divorce paperwork support for uncontested agreements Clients appreciate his directness, organization, and the sense of peace they feel throughout the process. In a world that often pushes people toward litigation, Cory offers an alternative that feels not just practical, but deeply human. ### Serving South Metro Colorado With Integrity Cory J. Flohr, South Metro Colorado Divorce Mediator, currently serves families in Douglas and El Paso Counties. Whether you’re in Parker, Castle Rock, Highlands Ranch, or Colorado Springs, you now have access to a professional mediator who brings both skill and heart to the table. He offers remote and in-person mediation options, and always starts with a free 15-minute consultation to ensure it’s a good fit—no pressure, no commitment. Just clarity. ### A Note from Me, Personally When I created Divorce With Dignity almost 30 years ago, it was because I knew there had to be a better way. Over the years, I’ve been honored to meet professionals who are not only exceptional at what they do but who also bring the heart, integrity, and steadiness that our clients deserve. Cory J. Flohr is exactly that kind of professional. If you or someone you know is exploring divorce and wants to do it thoughtfully, fairly, and peacefully, I encourage you to reach out to Cory. You will be in excellent hands. Warmly, Cindy Elwell Founder & CEO, Divorce With Dignity Network --- **Learn more about Cory J. Flohr, South Metro Colorado Divorce Mediator, and book your free consultation:** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Colorado, Provider Spotlight **Tags:** amicable divorce, certified mediator, Co-Parenting, Colorado divorce, Conflict Resolution, Cory J. Flohr, divorce coaching, divorce mediation, divorce mediator, divorce paperwork help, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, Douglas County, El Paso County, family mediator, mediation services, non-attorney mediator, peaceful divorce, South Metro Colorado, structured divorce process --- ### [What It Means to Be Divorce Strong™—Even When You’re Falling Apart](https://dwdignity.com/what-it-means-to-be-divorce-strong-even-when-youre-falling-apart/) **Published:** June 19, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** **By Nicole R. Lewis, Esq. [*Divorce With Dignity – Napa and Solano*](https://go.oncehub.com/NicoleRLewis) When your relationship ends, it can feel like your whole life is collapsing. Even if you were the one to initiate the separation… even if you know deep down that this is the right path forward… the process of divorce still has a way of shaking your foundation—*emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially. I’ve seen it—and lived it—more times than I can count. As a **family law attorney and certified divorce mediator for over 20 years**, I’ve helped hundreds of individuals and couples navigate the legal side of divorce. But I’ve also witnessed the personal toll it takes: the sleepless nights, the fear of the unknown, the breakdown of communication, the struggle to maintain stability for kids or family, and the deep exhaustion of trying to hold it all together. That’s why I’ve expanded my services through **Divorce With Dignity – Napa and Solano. Because divorce doesn’t have to destroy you. You can move through it in a way that is *grounded, supported, and intentionally aligned with your values. You can be **Divorce Strong™. ### **What Does It Mean to Be Divorce Strong™?** Being Divorce Strong™ *isn’t* about pretending everything’s fine. It’s *not* about bulldozing through your grief, masking your emotions, or skipping straight to “I’m okay.” **Divorce Strong™ means: - *You honor your pain—but don’t get stuck in it. - *You ask for help when you need it—and recognize that support is a strength, not a weakness. - *You choose your next steps intentionally—instead of being dragged through a court system that doesn’t know you. - *You treat your body, mind, and heart with care—because this chapter is hard enough without added depletion.* It’s about **staying rooted in who you are and what matters most… even as things fall apart. ### **Divorce Isn’t Just Legal—It’s Personal, Physical, and Emotional** One of the biggest misconceptions about divorce is that it’s only about legal documents and court filings. But the truth is, *divorce is also about identity, routines, relationships, self-worth, and daily life. That’s why I opened **Divorce With Dignity – Napa and Solano** as a sister practice to my traditional family law firm. This offering is centered around: - **Mediation** to help you stay in control of your outcomes - **Divorce coaching** for guidance, clarity, and emotional steadiness - **Parenting plans and co-parenting agreements** that are custom-fit for your family - **Document preparation and process navigation** without litigation - **Wellness-based support** to keep you physically and mentally strong throughout the transition This is *not* a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s *not* a flat-fee paperwork factory. It’s *not* “just get it over with.” It’s **real support—for the whole of who you are. ### **Bringing Wellness Into the Divorce Process—With No Pressure** What sets my **Divorce Strong™** approach apart is how I integrate **wellness**—*not in a way that feels forced or unrealistic, but in a way that meets you where you are. As a **professional natural bodybuilder**, **Fitness Expert Contributor for STRONG Fitness Magazine**, and long-time **wellness advocate**, I understand firsthand how the **mind, body, and spirit are connected**. During divorce, we often lose sight of our own care. We go into survival mode. And while that’s understandable, it’s *not sustainable*. That’s why my approach includes *optional*, gentle support around: - **Physical wellness and stress management - **Nutrition guidance** to help with emotional regulation and resilience - **Body movement or fitness suggestions** for re-grounding (*no gym membership required*) - **Coaching strategies** to help you stay focused, clear, and self-aware You *don’t* have to be “into fitness.” You *don’t* have to follow a wellness routine. But if you’re open to it, these resources are here to help you feel strong—not just legally, but *personally*. ### **You’re Allowed to Care for Yourself During Divorce** Too many people think divorce means suffering. That self-care has to wait until “it’s all over.” That once the paperwork is done, *then* they’ll heal. But **healing doesn’t begin when the ink dries**. It begins the moment you decide that your **well-being matters—even during the hard parts. That’s why the Divorce Strong™ mindset is so powerful. It says: > *“This will not define me. It will refine me.” ### **What You Can Expect If We Work Together** Whether you’re looking for: - **Mediation** to resolve things peacefully - **Divorce coaching** to stay emotionally grounded - **Legal document support** to navigate the process without court - A **wellness-informed approach** that helps you feel like yourself again …you’ll be met with **professionalism, compassion, and real guidance. You won’t be pressured into any one path. You won’t be judged. You won’t be rushed. Instead, you’ll have a partner who understands both the **legal** and **personal** sides of this transition—and who honors your full humanity in the process. ### **Start With a Conversation** If you’re facing divorce or separation in **Napa or Solano County**, I invite you to reach out. - Even if you’re just exploring options. - Even if you’re not sure what kind of help you need. - Even if you’ve already started the process and just want a second opinion. Let’s talk about what **Divorce Strong™** might look like for *you. Because **you don’t have to go through this alone—and you don’t have to go through it in a way that breaks you. Nicole R. Lewis, Esq. *Divorce With Dignity – Napa and Solano **[Schedule Your Free Discovery Call](https://go.oncehub.com/NicoleRLewis)*** ![DivorceStrongTM Nicole R. Lewis, Esq. Divorce With Dignity - Napa and Solano](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/DivorceStrong-Banner-300x157.png) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Coaching, Emotional Effects of Divorce, Wellness **Tags:** amicable divorce Napa County, divorce coach Napa, divorce mediation with wellness support, divorce mediator Solano, divorce wellness program, peaceful divorce California --- ### [Feeling Stuck? Why This Season of Pause Might Be the Perfect Time to Take the Next Step](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-during-uncertain-times/) **Published:** June 17, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** At Divorce With Dignity, we understand that navigating an **amicable divorce during uncertain times** takes thoughtfulness, flexibility, and the right support. If you’ve found yourself in a holding pattern lately, wondering whether now is the right time to move forward with your divorce, you’re not alone. Many people across the country are navigating similar questions. At Divorce With Dignity, we’ve noticed a growing trend: people are reaching out, gathering information, and genuinely wanting to move forward—but many are taking a more intentional and phased approach. Some are exploring flexible payment options, such as paying in installments or choosing hourly services to stay within their comfort zone financially. Others are giving themselves breathing room between sessions or decisions, and even fully paid clients are sometimes pausing to reflect before finalizing agreements. This isn’t about avoidance or delay—it’s about choosing a divorce process that respects both financial realities and emotional readiness. Between rising costs of living, global instability, and emotional exhaustion from a nonstop news cycle, it’s no wonder you’re feeling hesitant. But that doesn’t mean you’re not meant to move forward. Sometimes, the pause is actually the preparation. ### You’re Not Alone: Why People Are Hesitating Everywhere we look, families are holding their breath. Rising expenses, uncertain job markets, and global unrest have left many of us feeling like now is just not the right time for a big change. You might be thinking: - “I can’t afford to split right now.” - “Things are so unstable—should I wait until the world calms down?” - “It just feels overwhelming to make such a big life decision in such a chaotic time.” We hear you. And more importantly, we understand that these feelings aren’t a sign of weakness—they’re a sign that you’re paying attention. You’re being thoughtful. You want to do this right. ### Here’s the Encouraging Truth Even in slow or uncertain seasons, you still deserve peace. Divorce With Dignity was founded on the belief that divorce doesn’t have to be messy, ugly, or destructive. We believe it can be approached with care, compassion, and clarity—even when life feels uncertain. Especially when life feels uncertain. Choosing a respectful, out-of-court divorce process like ours puts the power back in your hands. You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to follow anyone else’s timeline. But you do deserve to know that **when you’re ready, there’s a way forward that honors you, your family, and your future**. ## Why Amicable Divorce During Uncertain Times Might Be the Right Move ### A Season of Pause Can Actually Work in Your Favor While many people are waiting right now—and that’s completely valid—there’s another side to the story that’s worth considering. The very reasons that are making some people hesitant may, in fact, make this an ideal time for others to move forward: - **Economic caution can make negotiations easier.** In uncertain financial times, many couples are more willing to compromise and resolve things amicably to avoid costly legal battles. - **Low-pressure timing creates space to plan.** With fewer external deadlines and seasonal demands, you may have the time and emotional space to thoughtfully organize documents, explore options, and map out your next steps. - **Courts and legal professionals are often more available.** Before the traditional end-of-year rush, you may be able to schedule meetings and finalize documents more efficiently. - **Preparing now positions you for smoother transitions.** Starting the process now means you may be fully transitioned by fall or winter—giving you and your family a fresh start before school begins or the holidays arrive. - **You get ahead of emotional burnout.** Sitting in indecision can be emotionally and physically draining. Starting—even slowly—can restore a sense of momentum and relief. - **You can secure support that works for your budget.** We understand financial concerns are real. Many of our providers are actively working with clients to offer phased services or creative solutions that make the process more accessible. ### A More Affordable, Thoughtful Path Many people are surprised to learn that Divorce With Dignity isn’t just easier emotionally—it’s often significantly more affordable than traditional court litigation. We offer flat-fee services, mediation, document preparation, and divorce coaching options that are tailored to your needs. If you and your spouse are willing to approach the process respectfully, even if you’re not always on the same page, we can help you avoid the high costs, stress, and time involved with court. ### Are There Advantages to Moving Forward Now? Yes, in fact, there are several **practical benefits to proceeding sooner rather than later** if you’re already leaning toward divorce: - **Tax Benefits**: The IRS bases your marital status on your situation as of December 31st. If you are divorced by year-end, you may be able to file as a single taxpayer or head of household the following year, which can result in significant tax savings depending on your circumstances. - **Financial Clarity**: Moving forward now can provide a clearer picture of your financial future, including asset division, debt responsibility, and planning for independent stability. - **Emotional Relief**: Avoiding prolonged indecision can reduce tension and uncertainty, particularly in households where communication is strained. - **Avoiding End-of-Year Rush**: Many families try to wrap up legal matters before the new year, which can create delays or competition for professional services. Starting now may help you avoid this bottleneck. - **Time to Transition Before School Year or Holidays**: Completing the process before fall or the holidays can help children and co-parents adjust before major life routines resume. - **Stronger Negotiation Environment**: In economic downturns, people are often more willing to negotiate and settle collaboratively. This can lead to quicker, more amicable resolutions without drawn-out court battles. - **Housing and Asset Strategy**: If housing prices or market conditions are shifting, finalizing a division of property sooner may help both parties plan smarter for their next steps—before rates rise or values shift. - **Long-Term Stability**: Establishing separate finances and responsibilities now can create more personal security for each party before additional pressures—economic or otherwise—build further. ## What You Can Do Right Now (Even If You’re Not Ready to File) You don’t need to be 100% sure. You just need a starting point. Here are a few small steps that can bring peace of mind: - **Schedule a consultation.** It doesn’t mean you’re committing to anything. It just means you’re gathering information. - **Start gathering financial documents.** Even organizing your paperwork can help clarify things. - **Talk to a provider about your options.** You may have more choices than you realize. - **Ask about payment plans.** We’re here to work with you. ### This Is Your Timeline No one else can decide the right time for you. Whether you’re considering divorce now or six months from now, your process is valid. Divorce With Dignity providers are here to support you without pressure, judgment, or a one-size-fits-all solution. You don’t need to make every decision today. You just need the right support to take your first step when it feels right. ### Ready When You Are We know the world feels heavy right now. But if you’re here, reading this, it might be because your heart is quietly asking for something more stable, peaceful, and clear. **Contact a Divorce With Dignity [Provider near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) today to explore your options and see how we can work with your unique situation.** Whether you’re ready to begin or just want someone to talk things through with, we’re here. You don’t have to do this alone. --- *Divorce With Dignity: A more peaceful, affordable, and compassionate way to move forward.* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Children and Divorce Rates, Is It Time To Divorce? **Tags:** affordable divorce options, amicable divorce, amicable divorce process, divorce coaching, divorce during recession, divorce during uncertain times, divorce mediation, divorce payment plans, divorce tax benefits, divorce with dignity, divorce without litigation, emotional readiness for divorce, family transition support, financial planning divorce, flat fee divorce, head of household filing, intentional divorce, out of court divorce, peaceful divorce --- ### [Debunking Common Divorce Myths](https://dwdignity.com/debunking-common-divorce-myths/) **Published:** June 5, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** *By Cory J. Flohr, Certified Divorce Mediator – South Metro Colorado* > ***Disclaimer:** I am not an attorney and do not provide legal advice. My role as a certified divorce mediator is to help clients resolve their divorce outside of the courtroom through structured, respectful conversations and clear agreements. Please consult an attorney for legal advice specific to your situation.* ## Divorce Is Already Hard. Misunderstanding It Makes It Harder. If you’re facing a divorce or even just thinking about it, you’ve probably heard advice from well-meaning friends, coworkers, or Google. Some of it might be helpful—but a lot of it is simply wrong. As a certified mediator who helps families in Douglas and El Paso Counties navigate divorce without litigation, I’ve seen how harmful these myths can be. They create fear, delay progress, and sometimes lead people to make expensive decisions based on false assumptions. Below, I want to share some of the most common misconceptions I hear—and what’s actually true. ## 🧨 **Myth #1: You Have to Go to Court** **Reality:** Most divorces don’t involve a courtroom at all. With the right support, many couples resolve everything—from parenting plans to financial agreements—outside of court. Mediation is one of the most efficient and respectful paths to do that. It gives you control over the process and outcome, instead of handing that control to a judge. ## 🧨 **Myth #2: Divorce Is Always a Fight** **Reality:** Divorce can be hard—but it doesn’t have to be hostile. I work with many clients who don’t want to “win.” They want clarity, closure, and peace. Mediation allows you to express concerns, explore options, and move forward without escalating conflict. You don’t have to be best friends—you just have to be willing to make thoughtful decisions. ## 🧨 **Myth #3: Everything Will Be Split 50/50** **Reality:** Colorado is not a strict “50/50” state. Property is divided equitably—which doesn’t always mean equally. Factors like income, contributions to the marriage, and parenting responsibilities all come into play. Mediation gives you flexibility to craft agreements that feel fair to both sides. ## 🧨 **Myth #4: If We Don’t Agree on Everything, Mediation Won’t Work** **Reality:** Mediation doesn’t require you to agree at the start—just to participate. You don’t need to walk into mediation already aligned. You need a process that helps you communicate, understand your options, and move toward resolution. That’s what I guide you through. ## 🧨 **Myth #5: Only Lawyers Can Help Me Navigate Divorce** **Reality:** Legal representation is important in some cases—but it’s not the only option. As a certified mediator, I work with clients who want a structured, professional divorce process without litigation. I can also work alongside consulting attorneys if you want legal backup while keeping the process amicable and cost-effective. ## 🧨 **Myth #6: Mediation Is Just for “Simple” Divorces** **Reality:** Mediation is often most valuable in *complex* divorces. If you have children, shared property, businesses, or financial entanglements—mediation allows for flexible, tailored problem-solving. The complexity doesn’t disqualify you from mediation—it’s a good reason to consider it. ## Takeaway: Information > Assumptions There’s a lot of noise out there. But getting clear on what’s true—and what’s not—can make a world of difference. Whether you’re preparing for divorce, already in the process, or just exploring your options, I’m here to help you understand the path forward. --- **📞 Ready to move past the myths and make informed decisions?** Contact a Provider Near You today. ### About the Author: Cory J. Flohr ![Cory J. Flohr, Divorce Mediator, Divorce Services Provider](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Cory-J.-Flohr-Divorce-Mediator-1-300x300.png)Cory J. Flohr, Divorce Mediator, Divorce Services Provider Cory J. Flohr is a certified divorce mediator and services Provider based in South Metro Colorado, proudly serving clients in Douglas and El Paso Counties. Before entering the field of family mediation, Cory worked in some of the most high-pressure environments imaginable—from advising members of Congress on political strategy to flying commercial aircraft across the country. What unites those careers with his work today is his ability to remain calm under pressure, distill complexity into clarity, and help people move forward with confidence. But Cory’s approach isn’t just shaped by his résumé—it’s shaped by his life. As a father and someone who has personally navigated divorce and co-parenting, Cory brings deep empathy, structured thinking, and personal insight to every client conversation. His practice is designed for real people—not perfect ones—who want a more thoughtful, dignified way to divorce. Whether you need full mediation, a strategic planning session, or help with divorce paperwork, Cory offers clear, neutral guidance you can count on. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Papers, Divorce Process, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce, co-parenting after divorce, Colorado divorce mediator, Conflict Resolution, Cory Flohr, divorce mediation, divorce myths, divorce paperwork help, divorce support Colorado, divorce without court, Douglas County mediator, El Paso County divorce, equitable divorce, mediation services Colorado, non-attorney mediator, parenting plan mediation, South Metro Colorado divorce --- ### [Creative Options for Managing the Marital Home in Divorce Mediation](https://dwdignity.com/marital-home-in-divorce-mediation/) **Published:** May 13, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** When you’re facing divorce, deciding what to do with the **marital home in divorce mediation** can feel overwhelming. The home is more than just an asset—it’s where your life happened—it’s the home where your child took their first steps, where you shared holidays and late-night talks, where your life together was built. But now, that same home may feel like a heavy question mark: **Who stays? Who goes? Should we sell it now or wait until the kids are older?** And underneath all of that is the deeper concern: **How do we make this transition without disrupting our children more than we have to?** If you’re asking these questions, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself. At Divorce With Dignity, we’ve worked with couples in all kinds of situations—some amicable, some emotionally raw, some financially complex. The good news? You have **options.** And with the right support, you can make decisions about your marital home that honor your family’s needs today and in the years to come. In this guide, we’ll walk you through both traditional and creative ways to handle the **marital home in divorce mediation**—including strategies that keep the children’s well-being at the center and help both spouses feel financially and emotionally secure. We’ll also show you how to turn those choices into clear, court-ready agreements through mediation. ## **Why the Marital Home Is So Important in Divorce** The marital home plays multiple roles in a divorce: - **Emotional anchor**: For children, it may represent the only sense of normalcy during a major transition. - **Financial asset**: Homes often hold the most equity in a couple’s shared property portfolio. - **Legal tangle**: Mortgages, titles, and liabilities must all be addressed in a clear, court-enforceable way. Because of its significance, it’s crucial to address the marital home in divorce mediation with care, creativity, and a long-term lens. ## **Key Questions to Ask Before Deciding What to Do** Before agreeing on a plan, couples should explore: - Who can afford to maintain the home alone? - Is staying in the home best for the children—or for the adults? - What is the current real estate market doing? - Can one party refinance or buy out the other? - Will co-ownership cause future conflict? - What’s the emotional cost of keeping or selling? Your answers to these questions will help determine the best strategy—and often open the door to creative options that fit your family’s situation. ## **Creative Options for the Marital Home in Divorce Mediation** ### **1. Sell the Home and Split the Proceeds** **Best for:** Clean breaks, no minor children, mutual desire to move on. **How it works:** The house is sold, and after debts (mortgage, taxes, realtor fees), proceeds are split equitably. **Considerations:** - May be required when neither party can afford the mortgage solo. - Emotional difficulty for children and adults. - Good option for simplifying finances. ### **2. One Spouse Buys Out the Other** **Best for:** One party can afford to stay; children benefit from stability. **How it works:** The staying spouse refinances the mortgage in their own name and pays the other party their share of the equity. **Considerations:** - Requires financial qualification for refinancing. - Needs an appraisal or agreed-upon value. - Important to set a deadline for the buyout in the agreement. ### **3. Delay the Sale Until the Children Are Grown** Also known as a **“deferred sale”** or **“delayed sale agreement”**. **Best for:** Minor children who need continuity; emotionally cooperative exes. **How it works:** One spouse (usually the primary caregiver) stays in the home with the kids. The home is sold at a future milestone (e.g., when the youngest turns 18). **Considerations:** - Who pays the mortgage and maintenance? - What triggers an early sale (e.g., remarriage, job change)? - Clear timelines and exit plans are essential. ### **4. “Birdnesting” – Kids Stay, Parents Rotate** **Best for:** Short-term transitions during early separation. **How it works:** The children stay in the home full-time while each parent rotates in and out based on the parenting schedule, maintaining a separate residence when not in the home. **Considerations:** - Can reduce child disruption. - Logistically and emotionally demanding for parents. - Often unsustainable long-term. ### **5. Co-Ownership With a Set End Date** **Best for:** Equitable co-investment or gradual transition. **How it works:** Both parties retain ownership but agree on who lives in the home. Sale or buyout occurs later, often with a fixed deadline or trigger event. **Considerations:** - Allows time for financial stabilization or credit repair. - Must define maintenance, taxes, repairs, and exit strategy. - Ideal for amicable splits and structured communication. ### **6. Rent Out the Home and Share Income** **Best for:** Both parties moving out and neither needing immediate proceeds. **How it works:** The home is rented to a third party, and profits (after expenses) are split. A sale may occur later when the market improves. **Considerations:** - Offers ongoing income. - Requires agreement on property management and repairs. - Useful if refinancing or selling isn’t feasible yet. ### **7. Sell to a Family Member or Use a Trust** **Best for:** Complex financial or intergenerational needs. **How it works:** The home is sold to a relative, or ownership is transferred into a trust that benefits children or both parties. **Considerations:** - Requires legal and financial guidance. - Can protect long-term interests while preserving equity. ### **8. Exchange Other Assets in Lieu of the Home** **Best for:** Uneven asset distribution. **How it works:** One party keeps the home while the other receives other assets of similar value (e.g., 401(k), stocks, vehicles). **Considerations:** - Must ensure fair market value comparison. - Consider long-term tax impact of different asset types. ## **Making It Official: Structuring the Agreement** Mediated Settlement Agreements (MSAs) should reflect **clear, enforceable, and fair terms**. When it comes to the marital home in divorce mediation, be sure your MSA includes: - **Who lives in the home** and under what conditions. - **Financial responsibilities**: mortgage, insurance, taxes, repairs. - **Refinance or buyout terms**, including deadlines. - **Contingency plans** for unforeseen events (job loss, market crash). - **What triggers a sale** or a change in agreement. - **How proceeds or equity will be split** at the time of sale. Be specific. Vague terms are hard to enforce and can lead to post-divorce conflict. ## **What Courts Look For in Marital Home Agreements** Whether or not a judge needs to review your MSA, it should follow best practices: - **Clarity**: No vague timelines or verbal side agreements. - **Fairness**: The agreement should appear reasonable and balanced. - **Child-focused**: If children are involved, the housing arrangement should prioritize their stability and well-being. - **Feasibility**: Avoid agreements that are emotionally idealistic but financially unrealistic. If your head is spinning with all the what-ifs—**“What if I can’t afford to keep the house?” “What if the market crashes?” “What if we disagree about when to sell?”**—you’re not alone. These are big decisions, and they deserve thoughtful, personalized solutions. That’s exactly what our Divorce With Dignity Providers are here for. We don’t just walk you through forms or suggest cookie-cutter solutions. We sit with you. We ask the right questions. We help you and your spouse get to the heart of what matters most—whether that’s your children’s stability, your future finances, or your ability to co-parent with peace. Our Providers guide you through a structured, calm mediation process where you can: - Explore **creative options** for your marital home - Understand the **financial and legal implications** of each choice - Draft clear, enforceable terms that reflect your agreement - Access **vetted professionals**—from real estate agents to financial advisors to legal support—if you need them We know that when a divorce is handled with dignity, it’s not just about ending a chapter—it’s about building a healthy foundation for what’s next. So whether you’re ready to sell, hoping to stay, or somewhere in between, we’ll help you design a path that works for your unique family and future. 📍**Find a Divorce With Dignity Provider near you today** and let’s begin this next step—together. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Dividing Assets, Mediation **Tags:** Co-Parenting, creative divorce solutions, divorce mediation, divorce real estate, Divorce Settlement, family law, marital home, mediation options, property division, selling the house in divorce --- ### [Why Personalized Divorce Support Still Matters in the Age of Online Platforms](https://dwdignity.com/why-personalized-divorce-support-still-matters-in-the-age-of-online-platforms/) **Published:** April 23, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Divorce is changing. The recent **LegalZoom and Divorce.com partnership** is a headline example: streamlined, tech-driven divorce services are becoming more accessible nationwide. For couples facing divorce, the promise of **speed, affordability, and simplicity** is understandably appealing. But here’s what those headlines don’t tell you: > **Divorce is rarely just a legal transaction. It’s an emotional, financial, and familial crossroads that deserves thoughtful attention.** At **Divorce With Dignity (DWD)**, we know that **no two families are alike**. Our mission is to ensure your **agreements reflect your life**, not a cookie-cutter template. **Divorce mediation vs online platforms** isn’t just about choosing between two service providers—it’s about choosing the right support for **your journey**. ### **Divorce Mediation vs Online Platforms: Why the Difference Matters** Sure, the paperwork is important. But here’s what **technology alone can’t solve**: - **How will you divide retirement assets** like 401(k)s or pensions? (Hint: You’ll likely need a **Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)**—a separate legal document that online services often don’t handle or explain well.) - **How will you build a parenting plan** that’s flexible enough to grow with your children yet firm enough to prevent future conflict? - **What happens when life changes?** If someone remarries, moves, or changes jobs, will your agreement hold up? These are the questions that **generic online forms can’t answer for you**. They require **personalized guidance**, a real understanding of **local court systems**, and sometimes **collaboration with other professionals** like Certified Divorce Financial Analysts (CDFAs) or therapists. ### **Divorce Mediation vs Online Platforms: Local Experts Offer More Than Paperwork** Unlike national platforms, **DWD Providers know your local courts, community culture, and the people who make the system work**. We: - Understand the **specific requirements** of your **county and state**, from **filing timelines** to **documentation preferences**. - Provide **tailored parenting plans** that work for your **family’s unique dynamics**—accounting for school schedules, holidays, extracurriculars, and even how to handle disputes down the line. - Guide you through **dividing assets equitably**, including **QDROs for retirement accounts**, ensuring you avoid costly mistakes or future disputes. We also know that **financial decisions today shape your future tomorrow**. That’s why our **financial division support** doesn’t just help you split what you have—we help you **plan for what’s next**. > **The right agreement today can prevent years of conflict tomorrow.** ### **Divorce Mediation vs Online Platforms: Comprehensive Support Beyond Divorce** Divorce is just one chapter in your legal journey. Many of our clients find themselves needing additional support during and after their divorce—support that **big-box platforms don’t offer**. At **Divorce With Dignity**, we provide access to: - **Divorce mediation** - **Co-parenting mediation** - **Financial division planning**, including **QDROs** - **Adoptions** - **Conservatorships** - **Divorce planning and facilitation** - **Family law documents** - **Living trusts and wills** - **Name changes** - **Paternity filings** - **Probate** - **Restraining orders** Having **one trusted place** to handle these **interconnected needs** **reduces stress, saves time**, and ensures **consistency** in your legal life. ### **Divorce Mediation vs Online Platforms: Technology That Supports, Not Replaces** We aren’t afraid of technology—we **embrace it**. Our clients enjoy: - **Secure document sharing** - **Virtual meetings** for convenience - **Streamlined scheduling** But here’s the difference: **our tech supports your process—it doesn’t replace the human guidance you need**. We’re there to **answer your questions**, **clarify the process**, and **adjust as life happens**. > **You get the best of both worlds: the ease of tech with the reassurance of human connection.** ### **Is DIY Divorce Right for You?** For some couples—those with: - **No children** - **Few assets** - **Full agreement on all issues** A **DIY online platform** could work. But in our experience, **even “simple” divorces benefit from expert oversight**. Financial agreements, parenting arrangements, and court filings can **seem straightforward**—until they’re not. One missed **QDRO detail** can mean **losing access to retirement funds you’re entitled to**. One **poorly worded parenting plan** can mean **conflict years down the road**. That’s why **many couples start with DIY intentions** but find **peace of mind in having an expert alongside them**. #### **Ready for Divorce With Confidence?** Whether you need: - **Just the paperwork** - **Help crafting personalized parenting plans** - **Financial division support (including QDROs)** - **Or full-service mediation and legal planning** We’re here to **help you navigate every step**—so you can move forward with clarity and confidence. 👉 [**Contact a Divorce With Dignity Provider near you today**](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) to learn how we can help, no matter where you are in your journey. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Papers, DIY Divorce, Mediation **Tags:** adoption legal services, affordable divorce mediation, amicable divorce mediator, amicable divorce process, amicable divorce services, co-parenting mediation, conservatorship legal help, custody mediation, customized divorce settlements, divide assets in divorce, divide retirement accounts divorce, divorce financial agreements, divorce financial planning, divorce mediation, divorce paperwork services, divorce planning facilitation, divorce support groups, divorce with children, estate planning after divorce, family law documents, financial division in divorce, legal document preparation divorce, living trusts wills divorce, local divorce mediator, local family law services, name change after divorce, parenting plan mediator, parenting plans for divorce, paternity filings divorce, peaceful divorce solutions, personalized divorce agreements, probate and divorce services, QDRO assistance, restraining orders divorce, retirement account division divorce, uncontested divorce help, virtual divorce mediation --- ### [When Tails Are Caught in the Middle: How Divorce Mediation Can Help Families Decide What’s Best for Their Pets](https://dwdignity.com/when-tails-are-caught-in-the-middle-how-divorce-mediation-can-help-families-decide-whats-best-for-their-pets/) **Published:** April 8, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** They never asked for this. They didn’t choose sides. They didn’t see it coming. And they definitely don’t understand what’s happening. They just want to be near you. They still wag their tails, curl up at your feet, or purr when they see you—blissfully unaware that their world is changing too. ***We’re talking about your pets.*** For many families, pets are more than animals—they are emotional companions, loyal protectors, co-parents in the daily routine, and irreplaceable members of the household. So when a couple decides to separate or divorce, one of the most heart-wrenching questions arises: **What happens to the dog? Or the cat? Or the rabbit, bird, or beloved senior pet with special needs?** At Divorce With Dignity, we understand that this question is *not* an afterthought. It’s often central to how people envision their post-divorce life. And yet, most legal systems still treat pets as “property”—to be divided like cars or furniture. We know they’re so much more than that. Let’s explore how divorce mediation can provide a more humane, thoughtful, and customized path forward when pets are involved—and how you can make sure their tails keep wagging, no matter what. --- ### When the Courts Don’t See the Whole Picture In many states, family court systems still operate under the legal assumption that pets are property. That means: - There’s no legal requirement to consider the best interests of the pet. - Judges are often left to make black-and-white decisions in situations that are anything but. - The emotional and practical bonds between pets and people might be overlooked entirely. That’s where **mediation** becomes a powerful alternative. Rather than hand your pet’s future over to a court that sees them as a “thing,” mediation invites both parties to collaboratively consider: - Who the pet is most bonded with - Who can meet their daily needs - What routine the pet is used to - How transitions between homes might affect the pet’s health or behavior - Whether shared time is an option—or if it would create unnecessary stress No one knows your pet better than you do. Mediation honors that truth. --- ### A Real Story: Luna Deserved Better Luna was a 7-year-old black Lab. She had grown up with Alex and Jordan since she was a puppy, even before their kids were born. When the couple decided to divorce, Luna was part of the routine—walks in the morning with Alex, bedtime cuddles with Jordan, and carpool drop-offs in the back seat every weekday. When they first sat down for mediation, emotions were high. Everything felt uncertain. But there was one thing they both agreed on: **“We just want Luna to be okay.”** Through guided mediation, they crafted a plan that reflected Luna’s needs. They decided she’d stay with Jordan during the school week to maintain the kids’ routine, and spend weekends with Alex, who worked remotely and had more flexibility on weekends for adventures. Vet visits would be shared, food and grooming expenses split, and any major decisions—like surgery—would be discussed jointly. This wasn’t a legal ruling handed down by someone in a robe. It was a decision made by two people who cared deeply—about Luna, their kids, and each other’s wellbeing. Mediation made that possible. --- ### Why Mediation Is the Best Approach for Pet Custody When couples choose mediation through Divorce With Dignity, they gain the ability to: ✅ **Create agreements that courts don’t offer.** Even if your state doesn’t formally recognize “pet custody,” mediation allows you to design a co-care or pet-sharing plan that works for both of you—and for your furry friend. ✅ **Reduce conflict and trauma.** Going to court over a pet can lead to bitterness and resentment. Mediation keeps the focus on problem-solving, not punishing. ✅ **Save time, money, and stress.** Litigation is costly. Mediation is a fraction of the cost, and usually takes less time—especially when you agree on what matters most. ✅ **Get creative.** From split vet bills to shared custody calendars, pet insurance to end-of-life decisions, mediation allows for nuanced, real-life solutions. --- ### Things to Consider About Your Pet in Divorce If you and your spouse or partner are separating and have a pet, here are some questions to think about before or during mediation: - Who has been the primary caregiver for the pet? - Is the pet more attached to one household or family member? - Does one party’s schedule or housing situation make it difficult to care for the pet? - How would a shared time arrangement affect the pet’s stress level or behavior? - Are there children involved who also share a bond with the pet? - Can you agree on a decision-making plan for the pet’s healthcare and emergency needs? - Will one person take full custody but offer occasional visits? - Are both parties willing to share expenses for food, medical care, and grooming? Having clarity on these points helps guide the conversation—and reduces misunderstandings down the road. --- ### Pet Parenting Plans: Yes, They’re a Thing Just like co-parenting agreements for children, many separating couples create **pet parenting plans** during mediation. A pet parenting plan might include: - **Primary residence:** Where the pet lives most of the time - **Visitation schedule:** Weekends, holidays, or special visits - **Expense sharing:** Vet bills, food, grooming, training - **Decision-making:** How to handle medical treatment or unexpected emergencies - **Communication method:** How you’ll stay in touch about your pet’s needs - **Rehoming plan (if needed):** A last-resort agreement if neither party can care for the pet This plan becomes part of your broader divorce or separation agreement—crafted with mutual respect and the best interest of everyone involved. --- ### What If You Can’t Agree? Sometimes, even with the best intentions, couples reach a standstill on pet issues. That’s okay. Your Divorce With Dignity mediator is trained to: - De-escalate emotional conflict - Highlight mutual goals (like the pet’s happiness) - Help each party feel heard - Offer neutral, practical suggestions - Encourage creative solutions without taking sides And if one or both parties decide that they need outside input—like a trainer, vet, or animal behaviorist—we can bring those voices into the conversation too. The goal is never to “win.” The goal is to do what’s *right* for your pet and your family. --- ### You’re Not Alone—And You Don’t Have to Go to Court Pets bring comfort, joy, structure, and love. In times of upheaval, they often become our emotional anchors. We owe it to them—and to ourselves—to make sure they aren’t forgotten in the process of separating lives. At Divorce With Dignity, we see pets for what they are: **beloved members of your family.** We’re here to help you create an agreement that reflects that reality—with compassion, clarity, and a focus on peaceful solutions. If you’re navigating separation and want to ensure your pets are cared for with the same dignity and attention you’re giving the rest of your family’s needs, we’re here to help. --- ### Next Steps If this post resonates with you, here’s what you can do: 🐾 **[Pet Parenting Plan Checklist – Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Pet-Parenting-Plan-Checklist-Divorce-With-Dignity.pdf)** – Get a head start on conversations about what’s best for your pet. 🐾 **Contact a Divorce With Dignity provider near you** – We’ll guide you through the process at your own pace. 🐾 **Stay connected** – Follow us on social media or join our newsletter for compassionate advice, real-life stories, and resources for handling all parts of divorce with grace—including the paws that matter most. --- **Because every member of your family deserves to be treated with dignity.** ***Even the ones with fur.*** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Domestic Legal Agreements **Tags:** amicable divorce, co-parenting pets, divorce mediation, divorce with dignity, divorce with pets, family law mediation, mediation for pet custody, pet agreements in divorce, pet care after divorce, pet custody, pet custody checklist, pet divorce agreement, pet mediation, pet parenting checklist, pet parenting plan, pet visitation schedule, pets and divorce, pets as family, shared pet custody, who gets the dog in divorce --- ### [Reclaiming the Mirror: Rediscovering Identity After Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/reclaiming-the-mirror-rediscovering-identity-after-divorce/) **Published:** April 3, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** ***‘Rediscovering Identity After Divorce’ is written by Nicole R. Lewis, Esq., Divorce With Dignity – Napa and Solano*** There are moments in life when we catch our reflection and don’t quite recognize the person looking back. Maybe it’s the exhaustion behind the eyes. Maybe it’s the silence where there used to be joy. Or maybe it’s something deeper—the sense that the person in the mirror is no longer connected to who you thought you were. For many, divorce is one of those moments. As a divorce professional, I’ve sat across from individuals and couples navigating one of the most intimate and transformational transitions of their lives. What I’ve witnessed again and again isn’t just the unraveling of a relationship—it’s the unraveling of identity. And yet, just as often, what follows is the slow, powerful process of reclaiming it. This blog isn’t about how to “bounce back.” It’s about **rebuilding forward**—with grace, intention, and dignity. ### Losing Your Reflection When a relationship ends—especially one that shaped your daily rhythm, your future plans, and your sense of security—it’s natural to feel disoriented. That’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that something meaningful is shifting. For many people, especially those who have been in long-term marriages or who’ve dedicated years to shared goals, the end of the relationship can create a vacuum. Roles that once defined your day—spouse, partner, caregiver, provider—suddenly shift or vanish. Even the routines you shared, from meal planning to shared hobbies, may fade. And with that comes the question: ***Who am I now?*** It’s a question worth sitting with. ### The Mirror as a Metaphor The mirror is often used in our culture as a symbol of vanity or appearance. But in divorce, it becomes something much more profound. It becomes a symbol of *recognition.* The person you see during divorce might appear hardened by pain or softened by sorrow. You might notice the toll stress has taken—dark circles, tension lines, or a dullness in your expression. Or perhaps you’ve started doing the opposite—over-functioning, diving into distractions, trying to keep it all together without stopping to breathe. None of these reactions are wrong. But they are worth noticing. Because the mirror doesn’t lie. It reflects the physical evidence of emotional labor. And with time and intention, it can also reflect something else: *your strength.* ### Rediscovering Who You Are (and Who You’re Becoming) When I work with clients in mediation, one of the most powerful shifts happens when someone starts to reconnect with themselves—not through the lens of the past, but through the possibility of the future. That moment might come in a mediation session when someone speaks their truth clearly for the first time. Or when they calmly set a boundary. Or when they express grief without apology. These are all quiet, courageous acts of identity. You don’t need to reinvent yourself entirely after divorce. You only need to return to the parts of you that may have been neglected—and let them breathe again. Some clients rediscover passions they had put on hold. Others reconnect with their physical body, their creativity, or their voice. Many begin to see themselves with a kind of clarity that was hard to access while navigating a difficult relationship. And no, it doesn’t happen overnight. It rarely happens in a straight line. But it *does* happen. ### The Role of Wellness in the Process (Without the Pressure) You don’t have to run a marathon or become a yoga guru to engage in wellness after divorce. In fact, pushing yourself to do more just to distract from pain often leads to burnout. What I advocate instead is simple: **Let your body be a part of your healing.** Whether that’s walking, stretching, dancing in the living room, or just breathing with intention—movement helps you reconnect. It reminds you that you are alive. That you are not broken. That you are capable of choosing again—your thoughts, your focus, your rhythm. You don’t need to fix your body. But you can come back to it. And sometimes, that reconnection helps shift the way you see yourself—inside and out ### Dignity Is Not Just for the Divorce—It’s for the Rebuild The name “Divorce With Dignity” reflects more than a process—it reflects a belief. It’s the belief that you can go through something incredibly hard without losing yourself. That you can make decisions rooted in your values, not your pain. And that the way you *treat yourself* during the process matters just as much as how others treat you. Dignity is choosing not to shame yourself for grieving. Dignity is saying no when peace demands it. Dignity is looking in the mirror—even when it’s hard—and deciding that your story isn’t over. ### A Quiet Revolution One of the most overlooked parts of divorce is how quietly revolutionary it can be. You’re rewriting your days. You’re shifting your mindset. You’re doing the deep work of choosing *who you want to be* going forward. And whether or not the world applauds, *you know* that it’s a brave thing to do. When clients tell me they’re scared of being alone, I understand. But what I also see—so clearly—is how capable they are of building something new. Not immediately. Not perfectly. But authentically. And that’s what real strength looks like. ### If You’re in the Mirror Moment Right Now… You’re not alone. You might not recognize yourself today—but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost yourself. It may mean that the version of you emerging is still forming. Give her time. Give him grace. Let that reflection shift without rushing it into something more polished or put together. You deserve to feel at home in your skin. You deserve to recognize the person staring back—not as a shadow of who you were, but as the evolving, healing, resilient version of who you’re becoming. And when you’re ready, you don’t have to face it all alone. --- **![Nicole Lewis Napa Solano Amicable Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Web-Page-Photo-Nicole-Lewis-Napa-and-Solano-1-300x300.png)About the Author, Nicole R. Lewis, Esq.** Nicole R. Lewis is a divorce mediator and the owner of Divorce With Dignity – Napa and Solano. As a seasoned attorney, professional bodybuilder, wellness advocate, and professional rooted in integrity, Nicole offers a calm, compassionate space for clients seeking an amicable and empowering path through divorce. Learn more about her services at [dwdignity.com/nicole-lewis](https://dwdignity.com/nicole-lewis). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Mediation **Tags:** compassionate divorce process, dignity in divorce, Divorce Recovery, divorce with dignity, emotional healing, empowerment after divorce, holistic divorce support, mind body connection, mirror metaphor, Napa divorce mediator, Nicole R. Lewis Esq, post-divorce identity, rediscovering self, Solano divorce mediator, wellness and divorce, women and divorce --- ### [Finding Clarity and Confidence: Divorce Mediation with Caroline McKinnon in SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/finding-clarity-and-confidence-divorce-mediation-with-caroline-mckinnon-in-sw-denver-metro/) **Published:** March 27, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** We’re honored to introduce **Caroline McKinnon, JD**, a Divorce With Dignity Provider offering **Divorce Mediation in SW Denver Metro**. Caroline brings something truly special to families facing divorce: a gentle, clear-headed approach grounded in empathy, practical solutions, and a deep commitment to respectful resolution. Caroline’s path to becoming a divorce mediator is shaped by both personal and professional insight. As someone who has experienced the emotional weight of family transitions herself, Caroline knows how overwhelming the process can feel. She brings that lived experience into every client meeting — offering not just guidance, but genuine understanding. Clients often describe Caroline as approachable, warm, and deeply invested in their well-being. One client from Littleton shared, *I felt so heard. Caroline took the time to explain every step, and I left each meeting feeling stronger and more capable*. Another client from Highlands Ranch said, *I didn’t just need a mediator; I needed someone who could help me protect my children’s future and navigate this process with kindness. Caroline gave me that.* **Caroline’s services include:** ✅ Divorce Coaching to help clients prepare emotionally and practically ✅ Divorce Mediation for couples seeking peaceful, amicable resolutions ✅ Co-Parenting Mediation to build strong, cooperative parenting plans ✅ Providing a supportive, respectful atmosphere where both parties feel heard ✅ Helping individuals focus on clarity, cooperation, and positive outcomes Caroline helps clients visualize life after divorce — emotionally, practically, and with confidence. She’s passionate about empowering individuals to make decisions they can feel good about, without fear or confusion clouding the process. The Divorce With Dignity approach resonates strongly with Caroline’s values. She believes that divorce doesn’t have to be destructive and that respectful, thoughtful mediation can lay the groundwork for healthier co-parenting, personal stability, and growth. Serving the Southwest Denver Metro area, including Littleton, Highlands Ranch, and Centennial, Caroline offers both in-person and virtual mediation to meet families where they are most comfortable. If you’re facing divorce and feel overwhelmed by the complexity of it all, Caroline McKinnon is here to guide you — not just as a mediator, but as a caring, knowledgeable partner in your transition. ***Ready to find clarity, confidence, and a peaceful way forward?*** Visit Caroline’s provider page to learn more and schedule your consultation: [Divorce With Dignity – SW Metro](https://dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon-amicable-divorce-services-in-sw-denver-metro/) At Divorce With Dignity, we believe you deserve a new beginning rooted in respect and understanding — and Caroline McKinnon is here to help you find it. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Mediation, Provider Spotlight **Tags:** affordable divorce, amicable divorce, Caroline McKinnon, Centennial, client empowerment, co-parenting mediation, collaborative divorce, compassionate mediator, Conflict Resolution, divorce coaching, divorce mediation, divorce with dignity, family law, Highlands Ranch, in-person mediation, Littleton, peaceful divorce, respectful divorce, Southwest Denver Metro, virtual mediation --- ### [Compassionate Divorce Solutions for Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/a-kinder-path-forward-michael-lemon-brings-compassionate-divorce-solutions-to-middle-georgia/) **Published:** March 25, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** We’re thrilled to introduce you to Michael Lemon, Esq. – a Divorce With Dignity provider serving Middle Georgia. If you’re contemplating divorce or simply need help navigating this challenging time, Michael brings not just his deep expertise but a compassionate approach that transforms a stressful process into one of clarity and respect. Michael’s journey into family law and divorce mediation wasn’t born from textbooks alone; it’s rooted in real-life experience. Having watched families around him struggle with the emotional and financial toll of contentious divorces, he knew there had to be a better way. That calling led him to embrace Divorce With Dignity’s philosophy: an amicable, affordable, and peaceful process that puts the family’s well-being — especially that of the children — first. What makes Michael stand out? It’s his unwavering belief that every family deserves dignity during life’s most difficult transitions. He understands that divorce isn’t just the end of a marriage but the beginning of a new chapter, and he’s here to ensure that transition is handled with care. He’s spent years serving Middle Georgia families, combining his legal expertise with the gentle guidance people need when emotions run high. Michael’s clients often share that they felt seen and heard from their very first meeting. One client, a mother of three from Macon, said, “I came to Michael feeling overwhelmed and scared. He didn’t just walk me through the legal steps — he gave me confidence that I could move forward without tearing my family apart.” Another client, a father from Warner Robins, shared, “I was worried I’d lose everything or end up in a long, bitter fight. Michael showed me that mediation could be cooperative, and now my ex and I co-parent better than I thought possible.” At Divorce With Dignity, we believe that divorce doesn’t have to mean chaos, and Michael embodies that belief in every session. His process focuses on open communication, respect, and honest discussion. He helps couples navigate: ✅ Property division and financial agreements ✅ Co-parenting plans that put children first ✅ Spousal and child support solutions ✅ Collaborative decision-making that minimizes conflict With Michael, you’re not just hiring a mediator — you’re partnering with someone who understands the fears and frustrations you’re feeling and is committed to guiding you through with empathy and expertise. Middle Georgia families will benefit from Michael’s dedication to making the process less adversarial and more solution-focused. He meets clients where they are, whether that’s via virtual meetings for convenience or in-person sessions for those who prefer face-to-face guidance. His goal is to make divorce less about fighting and more about finding a clear, respectful path forward. What truly sets Michael apart is how well he listens. He takes the time to understand each family’s unique situation, offering guidance tailored to their needs, not a cookie-cutter solution. He’s approachable and easy to talk to — whether you need legal clarity, emotional support, or simply a calming presence in the storm. His legal background, combined with Divorce With Dignity’s proven model, means clients receive the benefit of trusted legal insight and a commitment to peaceful solutions. You’ll know your paperwork is handled accurately and professionally, and that you’re making informed decisions every step of the way. Michael also emphasizes education. He takes the time to explain every part of the process so clients feel empowered rather than overwhelmed. It’s this extra care that earns him trust and appreciation from the families he helps. If you’re in Middle Georgia — from Macon to Warner Robins and everywhere in between — and are considering divorce or in the midst of one, Michael Lemon, Esq., is here to help you navigate it with dignity. Ready to take the next step? Reach out to Michael and see how divorce mediation can give you clarity, confidence, and peace of mind. 📞 Visit Michael’s Divorce With Dignity provider page to learn more and schedule your consultation: [Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/) We’re proud to welcome Michael Lemon, Esq., to the Divorce With Dignity family — and we’re even prouder to know he’ll be serving families in Middle Georgia with heart, professionalism, and unwavering dedication to peaceful outcomes. Contact a provider near you today and discover how divorce doesn’t have to mean conflict — with the right guidance, it can mean clarity, cooperation, and a fresh start. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Provider Spotlight **Tags:** affordable divorce, amicable divorce, child support, Co-Parenting, collaborative divorce, compassionate mediation, Conflict Resolution, divorce help, divorce mediation, divorce solutions, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, family law, Georgia families, legal guidance, Macon GA, Michael Lemon Esq, Middle Georgia, peaceful divorce, property division, respectful divorce, spousal support, stress-free divorce, Warner Robins GA --- ### [A Fresh Start with Compassion: Meet Aaron Bowman, Serving Hartford Families](https://dwdignity.com/a-fresh-start-with-compassion-meet-aaron-bowman-serving-hartford-families/) **Published:** March 5, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** At Divorce With Dignity, we know that divorce is one of life’s most difficult transitions. But what if it could also be a moment of clarity, strength, and forward momentum? This is the approach that Aaron Bowman brings to families across Hartford, Connecticut. We are proud to welcome him as a new provider, offering not just professional mediation services, but a pathway to peace and personal empowerment. Discover amicable divorce mediation in Hartford, CT. **About Aaron Bowman** Aaron Bowman’s background is one of commitment to helping families and individuals find solutions during life’s most challenging moments. He is not an attorney, but rather a professional mediator whose skill lies in fostering communication, understanding, and mutual agreement. His journey into mediation was fueled by witnessing the strain and conflict that traditional litigation can impose on families. He wanted to offer something different—a path that emphasizes solutions and reduces unnecessary conflict. Aaron’s work is grounded in patience, empathy, and the ability to facilitate honest, respectful dialogue. He helps clients move from feelings of fear and frustration to clarity and resolution. His focus isn’t on who’s right or wrong—it’s on what’s best for everyone involved. **Creating a Process That Honors Your Family’s Story** No two families are alike, and neither are their divorce journeys. Aaron’s process begins with listening—truly understanding your concerns and goals. He then works with you to design a plan that reflects your family’s values and supports the well-being of everyone involved. - **Thoughtful Divorce Mediation**: This isn’t about winners and losers; it’s about crafting solutions where everyone can move forward with dignity. Aaron creates a calm, structured space for difficult conversations. - **Co-Parenting Plans**: Your children deserve stability and care during this transition. Aaron helps design practical, forward-thinking plans that work for both parents and children. - **Financial and Property Division Guidance**: From the family home to retirement accounts, every asset is considered with clarity and fairness in mind. Aaron helps you navigate these decisions with confidence. - **Emotional Guidance and Reassurance**: Divorce isn’t just a logistical process—it’s emotional and deeply personal. Aaron remains by your side, offering reassurance and guidance whenever you need it. **What Sets Aaron Apart in Hartford** Hartford families appreciate integrity, discretion, and kindness. Aaron embodies all of these qualities. His approach is warm yet professional, ensuring you never feel rushed or overwhelmed. Clients often express their gratitude for Aaron’s ability to transform tense situations into constructive conversations. His skill in helping people see common ground where they thought none existed is what makes him a trusted guide. **Real Stories of Strength** Aaron has helped countless families who arrived feeling defeated and left with a renewed sense of possibility. One couple arrived overwhelmed by bitterness and miscommunication. Through patient facilitation, Aaron helped them rediscover their shared goals: ensuring their children’s happiness and maintaining financial stability. By the end of their mediation sessions, they had not only crafted a co-parenting plan but also repaired their communication enough to feel confident about future family decisions. **Why Choose Aaron Bowman and Divorce With Dignity?** - **Personalized Attention**: Every meeting, every conversation is tailored to your unique situation. - **Transparent Pricing**: No hidden fees or confusing bills. Just honesty and clarity. - **Calm, Safe Spaces**: Aaron’s sessions are judgment-free zones where difficult conversations happen with respect. - **Empowerment Through Knowledge**: You’ll leave every session feeling more informed and more confident about your next steps. **Education and Guidance Beyond the Sessions** Aaron doesn’t just mediate; he educates. He provides resources and tools that empower families to make informed decisions long after the sessions have ended. His follow-up communication ensures that clients continue to feel supported as they move into the next chapter of their lives. **Your Next Step** If you’re in Hartford and facing a life change, you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out to Aaron Bowman today. He’s ready to help you turn uncertainty into opportunity and guide you toward a peaceful resolution. *[Schedule a free call today](https://dwdignity.com/aaron-bowman-amicable-divorce-services-in-hartford-ct/) and start building your future with clarity, dignity, and confidence.* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Provider Spotlight **Tags:** Aaron Bowman, amicable divorce, Co-Parenting Plan, collaborative divorce, divorce mediation, Hartford, mediator, peaceful divorce, Veteran --- ### [Mediation vs. Litigation: Understanding Agreements and Enforceability](https://dwdignity.com/mediation-vs-litigation-understanding-agreements-and-enforceability/) **Published:** March 18, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** When couples decide to divorce or separate, one of the biggest concerns is how they will come to agreements about their assets, finances, and parenting responsibilities. Many assume that the only way to reach a legally binding resolution is through litigation—a courtroom battle where a judge makes final decisions based on legal precedent. However, mediation provides an alternative approach, allowing couples to create agreements that work for their unique circumstances, often in ways that courts may not typically allow. If you are considering mediation, it’s natural to wonder: *How do agreements made in mediation differ from those determined in court? Are these agreements enforceable? What flexibility does mediation provide that litigation does not?* Let’s explore these questions so you can feel informed and prepared when choosing the right path for your situation. ## **Mediation vs. Litigation: Key Differences in Agreements** #### **Mediation Allows for Customized Agreements** One of the primary benefits of mediation is that it allows couples to create tailored agreements that work for their specific needs rather than conforming to the rigid standards of court-imposed judgments. Judges must apply the law to a case and often make decisions based on precedent, meaning their options are limited. In contrast, mediation enables couples to explore creative solutions that may not fit neatly within legal frameworks but are mutually beneficial and practical for both parties. For example: - In litigation, a judge may follow state guidelines for spousal support, but in mediation, a couple can agree on a different support arrangement that takes into account their actual financial circumstances and future goals. - A court might order a standard 50/50 custody arrangement, but in mediation, parents can develop a schedule that works best for their child’s school, extracurricular activities, and emotional well-being. - Property division in court is often based on strict calculations, whereas mediation allows for flexibility—perhaps one spouse keeps the house while the other retains investments, rather than a forced sale and equal division. #### **Mediation Encourages Agreements Based on Interests, Not Legal Positioning** Litigation is an adversarial process where each party presents arguments based on legal entitlements. In mediation, the focus shifts from legal positioning to interest-based negotiation. Instead of arguing over what one is “owed” under the law, mediation encourages discussion about what each person *needs* to move forward successfully. This often results in less resentment and a greater willingness to cooperate in the future, which is especially valuable when children are involved. Mediation fosters communication, helping couples build a foundation for co-parenting that litigation cannot provide. #### **Mediation Provides a Private and Confidential Process** Court proceedings are public records, meaning anyone can access details of a litigated divorce. Mediation, however, is a confidential process. Couples can have honest discussions without worrying that their words will be used against them in court. This privacy can make it easier to negotiate openly and reach agreements that feel fair to both parties. #### **Mediation is Less Costly and Time-Consuming** Litigation often involves extensive attorney fees, court costs, and expert witness fees—not to mention the emotional toll of prolonged legal battles. Mediation, on the other hand, is typically much faster and less expensive, allowing couples to save financial resources for their future rather than spending them on legal battles. ## **Enforceability of Mediation Agreements** A common concern is whether agreements reached in mediation hold the same legal weight as a court order. The answer is: *they can, but it depends on proper drafting and legal procedures.* #### **Turning a Mediation Agreement into a Legally Binding Document** Once an agreement is reached in mediation, it typically needs to be formalized into a written document. Depending on the state, this may be called a **Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA), or Stipulated Agreement.** For enforceability: - The agreement must be **voluntarily entered into** by both parties. - It should be **clear and specific** to prevent future disputes over interpretation. - It should comply with state laws where required (e.g., child support guidelines in some states must meet minimum standards even if negotiated in mediation). Once finalized, the agreement is often submitted to the court to be incorporated into a final divorce decree, at which point it becomes **legally binding and enforceable.** If one party fails to comply, the other can seek enforcement through the legal system. #### **Agreements That Courts May Not Typically Approve in Litigation** One of the major advantages of mediation is the ability to reach agreements that wouldn’t necessarily be standard in court but still serve both parties well. Some examples include: - **Creative Spousal Support Arrangements:** Instead of a set monthly payment, a couple may agree that one spouse will pay off shared debts in lieu of traditional alimony. - **Non-Standard Property Division:** A couple might choose to keep a jointly owned vacation home for a set number of years before selling it, rather than immediately splitting assets. - **Unique Co-Parenting Agreements:** Parents might decide to rotate living in the family home while the children stay in one place (sometimes called “nesting”), an arrangement most courts wouldn’t typically impose. Since courts follow legal precedent, a judge might not be able to approve these types of arrangements on their own—but when reached voluntarily in mediation and documented correctly, they are often upheld. ## **Why We Take a Holistic Approach** At **Divorce With Dignity**, we understand that divorce is more than just a legal process—it’s an emotional and financial transition that affects every aspect of life. That’s why our mediation process serves as a **single point of contact for resources, referrals, and support.** Unlike litigation, which isolates legal issues, mediation takes a **holistic approach** by considering financial planning, emotional well-being, and the future stability of both parties. Our mediators help clients connect with: - Financial professionals to navigate asset division and retirement planning - Mental health professionals for emotional support - Parenting specialists to create effective co-parenting strategies - Legal document preparers and/or attorneys to ensure agreements are correctly formalized Mediation is about **empowerment**—giving you control over the process and outcome instead of leaving your future in the hands of a judge. ## **Preparing for Mediation: What You Need to Know** If you are considering mediation, here are a few steps to help you prepare: - **Identify your priorities:** What matters most to you? Flexibility in parenting time? Retaining financial stability? Peaceful resolution? - **Gather financial information:** Having a clear understanding of your assets, debts, and expenses will facilitate negotiations. - **Be open to discussion:** Mediation is about finding solutions, not “winning” a battle. - **Understand that agreements may be unique to you:** Courts follow standard procedures, but in mediation, you have the power to shape a fair agreement that works for your situation. ## **A Better Path Forward** Mediation offers an alternative to courtroom battles, allowing you to craft solutions that work for your family while keeping costs down, stress levels lower, and relationships more amicable. If you are wondering whether mediation is the right choice for you, we encourage you to reach out to a **Divorce With Dignity Provider** near you. Our network of experienced professionals is here to support you through every step of the process—ensuring that you feel informed, empowered, and ready to move forward with dignity. Contact a **Divorce With Dignity Provider** today to learn more about how mediation can help you achieve a peaceful and practical resolution. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Mediation **Tags:** alternative dispute resolution, amicable divorce, Co-Parenting, divorce mediation, Divorce support, family law, legal alternatives, mediation benefits, mediation services, peaceful divorce --- ### [Finding Strength in New Beginnings: Celebrating Your Divorce with Courage and Grace](https://dwdignity.com/finding-strength-in-new-beginnings-celebrating-your-divorce-with-courage-and-grace/) **Published:** February 12, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** There’s a moment in every journey of divorce where the fear and uncertainty feel overwhelming. When Cindy Elwell, the founder of Divorce With Dignity, first found herself navigating life as a single mother with two children, she faced this moment head-on. It was February, the month of love and togetherness, but for her, it marked the anniversary of her divorce—the moment when everything changed. At first, the transition was terrifying. Cindy’s household income had dropped significantly, and she was suddenly carrying the full weight of financial and emotional responsibilities for her children. The road ahead seemed daunting, filled with unknowns. But as that first year unfolded, something remarkable happened: she and her children became a team. They adapted, grew stronger, and found new rhythms. They made it through the tough days together. And when the anniversary of her divorce arrived, Cindy didn’t hide from it—she chose to celebrate it. **Why Celebrate Divorce?** At first, the idea of celebrating a divorce may feel strange. Society tells us that divorce is something to grieve, something to keep quiet about, something to be ashamed of. But why? Divorce is a major life transition, much like marriage, having a child, or starting a new job. And while it comes with heartache and struggle, it also brings resilience, growth, and a new chapter of life. Cindy realized that instead of focusing on loss, she could focus on what she had gained: confidence, independence, a new sense of self. So she decided to commemorate the anniversary of her divorce as a marker of her progress, a day to reflect on how far she and her children had come. She called it *Freedom Day*. **From McDonald’s to New Horizons** That first year, money was tight. A fancy celebration wasn’t in the cards. But Cindy still wanted to do something to acknowledge their resilience. So she took her children—and their father—to McDonald’s. It was all she could afford, but it wasn’t about the location. It was about the intention. They sat together, shared a meal, and recognized that despite the challenges, they had all made it through. And so it became a tradition. Each year, Cindy and her children marked the anniversary of her divorce with a small celebration. As her financial situation improved, so did their venues. What started as McDonald’s turned into family dinners at nicer restaurants, then weekend getaways. Over time, they transformed what could have been a painful memory into a tradition of togetherness, growth, and acknowledgment of their journey. Through it all, Cindy continued to invite her ex-husband to these celebrations. The message was clear: This was not about bitterness or blame. It was about resilience and unity. Divorce didn’t have to mean division. They were still a family, just in a different way. And that, too, was worth celebrating. **Your Freedom Day: Honoring Your Own Journey** Cindy’s story is a reminder that divorce is not just an ending—it’s a beginning. It’s the start of a new chapter, one where you get to define your own happiness, rebuild your life on your terms, and discover strengths you never knew you had. So, what will you call your day of freedom? What will you do to mark your growth, your survival, your ability to rise from the challenges of divorce? Maybe you’ll take a trip, buy yourself a meaningful gift, have a quiet moment of reflection, or gather your closest friends for a toast. Maybe you’ll create a new tradition with your children, just as Cindy did. However you choose to honor your journey, know that it’s okay to celebrate. In fact, it may be *essential*. Divorce is hard. But so is rebuilding. So is learning to co-parent, finding financial stability, and redefining your identity outside of marriage. You have worked through one of life’s biggest transitions—and that deserves recognition. **You Are Not Alone** If you’re feeling lost in the process, know that you’re not alone. Divorce With Dignity exists to help people move through this transition with support, guidance, and a sense of empowerment. You don’t have to navigate this journey in isolation. There are professionals who can help you find clarity, dignity, and peace as you rebuild your life. If you’re on the path of divorce or have already crossed that threshold, take a moment to think about what you want your *Freedom Day* to look like. What will it symbolize for you? How will you acknowledge your strength, your resilience, and your new beginning? No matter where you are in your journey, Divorce With Dignity is here to support you. Contact a provider near you today and take your next step toward a brighter, more empowered future. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce, Life After Divorce **Tags:** celebrating milestones, co-parenting journey, divorce empowerment, Divorce Recovery, emotional resilience, freedom after divorce, healing after divorce, life transitions, new beginnings, overcoming divorce, personal growth, rebuilding life, self-discovery, single parent success, starting over --- ### [January 6th: "Divorce Day" – A Time for Reflection and New Beginnings](https://dwdignity.com/january-6th-divorce-day-a-time-for-reflection-and-new-beginnings/) **Published:** January 6, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** **Every year, January 6th marks an unusual milestone on the calendar: “Divorce Day.” This term has been coined by family law professionals to describe the surge of inquiries and filings for divorce that typically occur immediately after the holiday season. But why is this day so significant, and what can you do if you’re considering divorce?** Here’s everything you need to know about Divorce Day and how Divorce With Dignity can help you navigate this challenging time with care and professionalism. --- ### **Why January 6th is Known as “Divorce Day”** The start of a new year often symbolizes fresh starts and resolutions. For many, it’s a time to reevaluate relationships and make decisions that align with their long-term happiness. Several factors contribute to January 6th being the most popular day for divorce inquiries: **1. Post-Holiday Realizations**: The holiday season can highlight existing marital problems. For some couples, the added stress of family gatherings, financial strain, and unmet expectations brings unresolved issues to the forefront. **2. A Practical Fresh Start**: The new year offers a clean slate. Many people see January as an opportunity to plan for the future, which can include seeking separation or divorce. **3. Waiting for the Holidays to Pass**: Couples often wait until after the holidays to avoid disrupting family traditions or to provide a sense of stability for their children during the festive season. **4. Financial and Tax Timing**: January is also a strategic time for financial planning. Divorce decisions often align with end-of-year bonuses, new budgets, and the upcoming tax season. ### **What to Do if You’re Considering Divorce** Divorce is a major decision that requires careful thought and planning. If you’re one of the many people reflecting on this possibility on Divorce Day, here are some steps to help you move forward: #### **1. Reflect on Your Decision** Before taking action, spend time reflecting on your feelings and reasons for considering divorce. Are the issues resolvable? Would therapy or counseling help? Sometimes, the decision to separate is clear, but for others, it may take time and professional guidance to determine the best path. #### **2. Seek Support** Divorce is not a journey you need to take alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a support group for emotional support. Professional counselors or divorce coaches can also provide clarity and guidance. #### **3. Understand Your Options** Divorce doesn’t have to be a contentious or costly process. Alternatives like mediation, collaborative divorce, or an amicable divorce plan can save time, money, and emotional strain. Divorce With Dignity specializes in helping couples find peaceful resolutions tailored to their unique needs. #### **4. Organize Your Finances** Gathering financial documents and understanding your financial situation is critical. Make a list of: - - Assets (e.g., homes, savings, retirement accounts, vehicles) - Liabilities (e.g., mortgages, loans, credit card debt) - Income sources - Monthly expenses A clear picture of your finances will help you make informed decisions during the divorce process. #### **5. Consult Professionals** Start by consulting a mediator, attorney, or divorce professional who can explain your rights and options. At Divorce With Dignity, we provide compassionate and personalized guidance to help you navigate the complexities of divorce. ### **How Divorce With Dignity Can Help** Divorce doesn’t have to mean hostility and court battles. Divorce With Dignity offers an alternative approach that prioritizes collaboration, respect, and fairness. Here’s how we can support you: #### **Peaceful Resolutions** Our amicable divorce services help couples work together to reach mutually beneficial agreements on issues like property division, custody arrangements, and spousal support. Mediation fosters open communication and reduces conflict, leading to better outcomes for everyone involved. #### **Cost-Effective Solutions** Traditional divorce litigation can be expensive and time-consuming. Our approach focuses on saving you money while ensuring that your interests are protected. #### **Tailored Support** Every divorce is unique. Whether you’re facing a complex financial situation, co-parenting challenges, or simply want to part ways amicably, we provide customized solutions that meet your needs. #### **Emotional Well-Being** Divorce is as much an emotional process as it is a legal one. We emphasize dignity and respect, ensuring that the process doesn’t add unnecessary strain to an already difficult situation. ### **Tips for Navigating Divorce Day** 1. **Don’t Rush**: While Divorce Day can be a wake-up call, it’s essential to approach the process thoughtfully. Take time to gather information and consider your options. 2. **Set Goals**: Think about your long-term goals and what you hope to achieve through the divorce process. This clarity will guide your decisions and help you stay focused. 3. **Focus on Collaboration**: The less adversarial your approach, the smoother the process will be. A collaborative mindset can lead to quicker resolutions and better relationships post-divorce, especially if children are involved. 4. **Take Care of Yourself**: Prioritize self-care during this time. Exercise, eat well, and seek emotional support to help manage stress. ### **Looking Ahead** Divorce Day may be the start of a challenging journey, but it’s also an opportunity for growth and new beginnings. By choosing a dignified and collaborative approach, you can transition into the next chapter of your life with confidence and peace of mind. If you’re ready to explore your options, Divorce With Dignity is here to help. Contact us today to learn more about how we can support you during this life-changing time. --- Start your journey toward a peaceful resolution. [Contact a Divorce With Dignity Provider near you today](https://dwdignity.com). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Holidays, Is It Time To Divorce?, Mediation **Tags:** Amicable Divorce Solutions, Co-Parenting Support, Collaborative Divorce Approach, Divorce Day, divorce financial planning, Divorce Mediation Benefits, Divorce Planning Tips, Divorce With Dignity Services, Emotional Well-Being in Divorce, Family Law Guidance, Fresh Start in the New Year, January Divorce Trends, Managing Divorce Stress, Peaceful Divorce Process, Starting Over After Divorce --- ### [The Divorce You Didn’t Think Was Possible: A Smarter, Calmer Path Forward](https://dwdignity.com/the-divorce-you-didnt-think-was-possible-a-smarter-calmer-path-forward/) **Published:** December 5, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Divorce can feel like an emotional and logistical storm—a whirlwind of court dates, paperwork, and conflict that leaves little room for clarity or peace. But what if your divorce didn’t have to feel like that? What if, instead, it could be an intentional process (and a calmer path forward**)** that respects your time, protects your resources, and helps you move forward with dignity? This isn’t just wishful thinking. It’s the promise of mediation: a smarter, calmer way to navigate divorce while staying in control. ### **Why the Way We Divorce is Changing** For years, divorce followed a familiar script: two sides lawyer up, a legal battle ensues, and after months (or years) of tension, a judge decides the outcome. While this approach may be necessary in certain cases, it’s not the best fit for most couples. Enter mediation—a collaborative alternative that’s shifting the narrative around divorce. With mediation, couples work together to shape their future, not fight over their past. This process emphasizes: - **Empowerment**: You and your spouse stay in control of decisions, rather than handing them over to a court. - **Efficiency**: The process moves as quickly—or as thoughtfully—as you need. - **Peace of Mind**: With less conflict and fewer surprises, mediation reduces stress for everyone involved. ### **A Divorce That Works for Your Life (Not Against It)** Divorce disrupts your life—but mediation helps ensure that disruption doesn’t define it. Unlike litigation, which often feels all-consuming, mediation adapts to fit your needs and schedule. Here’s how: #### **1. Your Divorce, Your Timeline** Life doesn’t pause for divorce. Mediation respects this by giving you the flexibility to choose when and how sessions take place. Whether you’re balancing work, raising kids, or simply trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy, mediation adjusts to fit your life—not the other way around. #### **2. Keep the Control (and the Calm)** In traditional divorce, decisions about your assets, parenting, and finances are often dictated by the court. Mediation flips the script, putting those decisions back into your hands. A skilled mediator guides the conversation, helping you and your spouse reach agreements that feel fair and workable. #### **3. Privacy Matters** While courtroom divorces play out in public, mediation keeps your discussions confidential. This not only protects your personal matters but also creates a safer space for honest, solution-focused dialogue. ### **The Hidden Costs of Litigation—and the Relief of Mediation** Let’s talk numbers. Divorce litigation can cost tens of thousands of dollars, with attorney fees, court costs, and dragged-out timelines driving up the expense. What’s harder to calculate, though, is the *emotional* cost of fighting it out in court—stress, resentment, and lost time. Mediation, on the other hand, is built to avoid these hidden costs: - **Less Financial Strain**: By working collaboratively, you minimize the need for multiple attorneys and extended legal battles. - **More Emotional Bandwidth**: With reduced conflict, you’ll have more energy to focus on your future (and your family). - **Faster Results**: While court cases can stretch for months or years, mediation typically resolves in weeks or months. ### **What Mediation Really Looks Like: Beyond the Buzzwords** If the word “mediation” sounds clinical or abstract, let’s break it down. Mediation isn’t just a process—it’s a series of intentional conversations, guided by a professional who keeps things moving in a productive direction. Here’s what you can expect: 1. **Starting the Conversation**: Your mediator begins by understanding your goals and concerns, setting the tone for respectful, solution-focused discussions. 2. **Navigating the Tough Topics**: From dividing assets to creating parenting plans, the mediator helps you work through key decisions with clarity and fairness. 3. **Closing the Loop**: Once agreements are reached, the mediator drafts a comprehensive plan that reflects your decisions. This plan can be submitted to the court for final approval, streamlining the legal process. What makes mediation unique isn’t just the structure—it’s the mindset. Mediation assumes that even in difficult moments, people can find common ground. It focuses on solutions, not blame. And it’s designed to help you leave the process feeling whole, not broken. ### **For Parents, Mediation Isn’t Just an Option—It’s a Gift** For divorcing couples with children, mediation offers something invaluable: a chance to co-create a peaceful future. Rather than positioning parents as adversaries, mediation fosters collaboration, helping you build a parenting plan that truly works for your family. #### **Benefits for Families:** - **Customized Co-Parenting**: Every family is unique, and mediation allows you to design a plan that reflects your children’s needs and your schedules. - **A Healthier Transition**: Reducing conflict during divorce helps shield children from emotional fallout. - **Laying the Foundation for Co-Parenting**: Mediation strengthens communication skills that will serve you long after the divorce is final. ### **Why Mediation Works for Couples Who Don’t Agree** You don’t have to see eye-to-eye with your spouse to succeed in mediation. In fact, many couples come to the table with significant disagreements. The key difference is that mediation creates an environment where disagreements can be addressed constructively. Instead of fighting to “win,” you’re working to find solutions. #### **The Mediator’s Role** Think of your mediator as a guide and a neutral third party. They aren’t there to take sides but to keep the discussion balanced, respectful, and focused on outcomes. A skilled mediator ensures both voices are heard while steering conversations toward resolution. ### **Why Choose Divorce With Dignity Network?** When it comes to divorce mediation, the process is only as good as the people guiding it. That’s where **Divorce With Dignity Network** comes in. Our mediators are trained not just in the legal aspects of divorce but in the human side of it, too. We understand that divorce isn’t just a legal transaction—it’s a deeply personal experience. #### **What Sets Us Apart:** - **Local Expertise with a National Reach**: Our providers are rooted in their communities but supported by a trusted network of professionals across the country. - **A Personalized Approach**: Every divorce is unique. We take the time to understand your situation and craft a process that works for you. - **Empathy and Professionalism**: Divorce is hard. We’re here to make it easier, with compassionate guidance that respects your dignity and priorities. ### **Your Divorce, Reimagined** Divorce will never be easy, but it can be thoughtful, empowering, and even peaceful. Mediation offers a way forward that prioritizes what matters most: your future, your family, and your ability to move on with confidence. If you’re ready to explore a better way, **contact a Divorce With Dignity Network provider today**. Together, we’ll help you turn the page—on your terms. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Mediation **Tags:** Co-Parenting, collaborative divorce, Conflict Resolution, divorce, Divorce Process, emotional well-being, family law, legal separation, mediation, peaceful divorce --- ### [Navigating Parenting Amidst Political Differences](https://dwdignity.com/navigating-parenting-amidst-political-differences/) **Published:** November 14, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** ***Navigating Parenting Amidst Political Differences?*** In today’s world, politics permeates almost every aspect of life, from media and social events to schools and even family gatherings. When parents hold differing political views, those differences can sometimes lead to challenges in raising children together. Disagreements on topics like education, social values, and appropriate activities can create strain in co-parenting relationships. Add in the influence of schools and teachers, who may introduce their own perspectives in the classroom, and the landscape becomes even more complex. In this blog, we’ll explore how parents with differing political views can navigate these challenges while preserving harmony, fostering respect, and supporting their children’s healthy development. --- ### 1. Understanding How Political Differences Affect Parenting Styles Political beliefs often reflect core values and worldviews, which can significantly shape parenting styles. For instance, one parent may prioritize a conservative approach to discipline and responsibility, while the other might lean toward a more progressive approach that emphasizes autonomy and self-expression. These differences in values can affect decisions related to: - **Education Choices**: From selecting a school to deciding what should be emphasized in a child’s learning environment, political perspectives can shape parents’ views on curriculum, extracurricular activities, and even standardized testing. For instance, one parent may prefer a traditional academic approach, while the other values a progressive curriculum that includes social justice education. - **Social and Cultural Activities**: Political beliefs can also influence whether parents encourage children to participate in certain activities or join specific groups. Whether it’s participating in environmental advocacy, joining Scouts, or attending certain cultural events, differing values may cause conflict. - **Technology and Media Consumption**: Parents often differ in how they feel about the media their children consume, especially if it presents a particular worldview. Disagreements about exposure to news, social media, or specific shows or games can arise, especially if one parent feels these platforms promote values they disagree with. By recognizing how deeply political values can influence parenting, parents can work toward understanding each other’s perspectives and finding common ground. --- ### 2. Setting a Foundation of Respect and Communication When political differences influence parenting, communication becomes even more important. Parents need to create a safe space where each can openly discuss their views and concerns. Establishing respectful communication can help prevent misunderstandings and minimize conflict. Here are some strategies to improve co-parenting communication in politically divided situations: - **Agree on Core Family Values**: Identifying shared values can provide a foundation for parenting decisions. While political opinions may differ, values such as kindness, integrity, respect, and resilience are often universal. By focusing on these core principles, parents can find ways to reinforce positive traits in their children without letting political differences become obstacles. - **Separate Politics from Parenting**: It’s natural for strong beliefs to influence parenting styles, but focusing on practical solutions rather than ideology can help bridge the gap. Rather than arguing over “right” or “wrong” approaches, focus on the child’s well-being and long-term development. - **Practice Active Listening**: When discussing sensitive topics, make an effort to listen actively to each other’s perspectives. Acknowledge your co-parent’s viewpoints, even if you disagree, to create an atmosphere of mutual respect. This can make it easier to find middle ground and help children see that differences can coexist peacefully. - **Stay Flexible and Adaptable**: Children’s needs change as they grow, and so might parents’ perspectives. Regularly revisiting co-parenting decisions with an open mind and a willingness to adapt can help prevent old conflicts from resurfacing. --- ### 3. Handling Different Views on Education Educational choices can be particularly challenging in politically charged co-parenting relationships. Schools are increasingly becoming a battleground for political issues, with topics like history, science, gender, and social studies often reflecting broader cultural debates. Here are some strategies to navigate these differences effectively: #### Choosing a School that Aligns with Shared Values Finding a school that respects both parents’ values may be difficult but not impossible. Researching options together and discussing each school’s approach to education can help parents make informed decisions. If one parent values a curriculum that includes social justice themes and environmental education while the other prefers a focus on traditional academic subjects, they may consider a school that offers a balanced approach. #### Addressing Opposing Viewpoints from Teachers and Classrooms Children are often exposed to teachers’ personal beliefs, especially when it comes to current events and social issues. When one parent disagrees with how a topic is taught, it can be helpful to: - **Discuss It Calmly**: Approach the topic as an opportunity to teach critical thinking. Instead of arguing over whether the teacher is “right” or “wrong,” parents can encourage children to ask questions and think independently. - **Involve School Administrators Respectfully**: If certain classroom discussions consistently cross boundaries or seem to push a particular agenda, parents may consider meeting with the school or teachers to discuss their concerns constructively. It’s important to approach these discussions in a respectful, solution-focused manner to avoid escalating tensions. - **Offer a Balanced Perspective at Home**: For families with strong political beliefs on both sides, encouraging children to see multiple perspectives can be valuable. Parents can introduce materials, books, or activities that offer alternative viewpoints, helping children understand that the world is made up of diverse beliefs. ### 4. Balancing Social Activities and Family Events Social activities can also become contentious in politically divided co-parenting relationships. For example, a child may be invited to join an organization or event that one parent strongly supports, while the other parent opposes it. Here’s how to approach these situations: - **Create Compromise Plans**: If one parent supports participation in a politically oriented activity that the other doesn’t, they can work out a compromise. For instance, a child might attend certain events with one parent but spend equal time in other activities that both parents support. - **Encourage Respectful Curiosity**: It can be tempting for parents to persuade children to adopt their own beliefs, but it’s often healthier to encourage children to ask questions and explore topics independently. This approach allows children to form their own understanding while respecting their parents’ differing views. - **Focus on Character Building Rather than Political Stances**: Rather than emphasizing the political nature of a social activity, parents can focus on the skills and values the child may learn, such as leadership, teamwork, or empathy. This shift in focus can prevent conflicts and promote personal growth. ### 5. Navigating Social Media and Media Consumption In today’s digital age, children are exposed to political content earlier and more frequently than ever. Social media platforms often highlight polarized viewpoints, which can influence young minds, sometimes in ways parents don’t anticipate or desire. #### Establishing Joint Guidelines for Digital Exposure Parents may want to create a shared set of rules for children’s media consumption. Agreeing on which platforms are allowed, setting screen time limits, and discussing how to handle political content can help manage exposure. For younger children, parents might agree to monitor their online activities together to ensure content aligns with agreed-upon family values. #### Encouraging Critical Thinking For older children, it’s valuable to teach critical thinking skills that allow them to analyze political messages on their own. Parents can explain the importance of verifying information, seeking multiple perspectives, and questioning biases. This approach equips children to form independent, well-rounded views and reduces the likelihood of internalizing polarized opinions from the media. ### 6. When to Seek Professional Support Sometimes, despite best efforts, political differences may still cause friction in the family dynamic. If co-parenting disagreements become stressful or start affecting the child’s well-being, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Family therapists or counselors can provide a neutral space for both parents to discuss their concerns and develop a co-parenting strategy that prioritizes the child’s best interests. Additionally, a mediator can help parents develop parenting plans that address these differences constructively. For instance, a mediator might help parents define specific rules for discussing political topics around their child or negotiate compromises that ensure the child is exposed to a balanced perspective. --- ### 7. Emphasizing Harmony Over Winning Political differences are a natural part of life, but they don’t have to disrupt a child’s development or happiness. By emphasizing respect, communication, and adaptability, parents can create a stable, supportive environment for their children, regardless of their own political beliefs. It’s essential to remember that the goal of co-parenting is not to “win” the argument or prove a point but to ensure that the child feels loved, supported, and understood by both parents. As children grow, they’ll inevitably develop their own views, often shaped by both parents’ influences as well as their own experiences. By fostering an environment of open-mindedness, respect, and love, co-parents can provide their children with a foundation that transcends political divides and equips them for the diverse world they’ll encounter. --- Navigating political differences in co-parenting may be challenging, but with the right approach, it’s possible to build a healthy, harmonious family environment. By prioritizing the child’s needs and fostering a respectful co-parenting relationship, parents can set an example of unity and understanding that benefits everyone involved. Our Providers take an empathetic and supportive approach to navigating these complex dynamics, helping parents find common ground while respecting each other’s perspectives. They understand that political differences, while significant, don’t have to stand in the way of creating a stable and nurturing environment for children. Our Providers work with both parents to develop co-parenting plans that prioritize the child’s well-being and encourage constructive communication, making sure that each parent feels heard and valued. With a focus on empathy, compromise, and practical solutions, [our Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) help families move forward with respect, ensuring that children feel supported and secure despite any differences. --- *Disclaimer: This blog provides general information and is not intended as specific legal or parenting advice. For personalized guidance, consult a qualified professional.* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Co-Parenting, Mediation, Overcoming Obstacles **Tags:** addressing politics in the classroom, balancing beliefs in parenting, balancing political views in parenting, child development and political differences, children and political influence, co-parenting disagreements over education, co-parenting strategies for political differences, co-parenting strategies for politically charged families, co-parenting tips for differing beliefs, co-parenting with political differences, communication in politically divided families, conflict resolution in co-parenting, conflict-free co-parenting, critical thinking and political differences, discussing politics with children, education choices in politically divided families, family disagreements over politics, family dynamics and politics, family harmony amidst political tension, family harmony and political beliefs, family harmony and political views, family unity and political differences, family values and political beliefs, fostering respect in politically charged families, guiding children through political debates, handling media influence on children, handling political differences in parenting, handling teachers’ political views, helping children navigate political views, impact of political beliefs on children, maintaining family unity with political disagreements, managing family conflicts over politics, navigating co-parenting differences, navigating politics in parenting, neutral parenting tips, parenting and political differences, parenting and politics, parenting plans with political differences, parenting resources for political disagreements, parenting through political divides, political disagreements in co-parenting, political influence on children's education, political influence on family dynamics, political influence on social activities, political neutrality in parenting, political views and co-parenting, political views and family harmony, promoting respect in co-parenting, raising children with differing beliefs, raising resilient children amidst political divides, respectful parenting with political differences, school influence on political views, supporting children in politically divided families, teaching children about politics, teaching children multiple viewpoints --- ### [Provider Spotlight: Bronwyn Kay Galloway – Compassion and Expertise in San Francisco](https://dwdignity.com/provider-spotlight-bronwyn-kay-galloway-compassion-and-expertise-in-san-francisco/) **Published:** October 15, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** At *Divorce With Dignity*, we take pride in the exceptional professionals who make up our network, and one of our standout Providers is Bronwyn Kay Galloway. Find Compassion and Expertise in San Francisco. Serving **San Francisco County**, Bronwyn has become known for her deep commitment to helping families through the divorce process with care, expertise, and respect. Today, we’re shining a spotlight on Bronwyn and the incredible work she does to bring peace to families in transition. ### **A Unique Blend of Experience** With over 30 years of administrative expertise and a passion for activism, Bronwyn brings a rare combination of skills to her practice. She holds a **Juris Doctorate** and is a **Registered Legal Document Assistant (LDA)**, with a background that spans **international human rights**. This diverse experience allows her to approach each case with a fresh perspective, offering both the practical legal know-how and the deep compassion necessary to guide families through one of the most challenging transitions they will ever face. Her work isn’t just about paperwork or process; it’s about helping people navigate a personal journey with dignity. Bronwyn believes that divorce doesn’t have to be a painful or drawn-out ordeal. Instead, she helps her clients find peaceful, amicable solutions that honor everyone involved. ### **A Compassionate Guide** Bronwyn’s clients frequently highlight her ability to listen deeply and offer solutions tailored to their unique situations. Divorce is a stressful, emotional time, and Bronwyn’s calm, supportive approach provides a sense of stability. Whether she is facilitating a divorce mediation or preparing legal documents, her goal is always to ensure her clients feel heard and respected. For Bronwyn, each family’s story is different. She works closely with her clients to develop solutions that best fit their needs and long-term goals. Whether you’re seeking a swift resolution or need more time to work through complex issues, Bronwyn’s flexible and empathetic approach ensures you receive the support you need, at your pace. ### **A San Francisco Resource** Bronwyn has been part of the **Divorce With Dignity** network for over five years and continues to serve the diverse families of San Francisco County. Her practice has grown steadily over the years, thanks to her reputation for excellence and her commitment to making the divorce process less painful for those she serves. Whether working with couples seeking a collaborative divorce, or individuals needing guidance on co-parenting or property division, Bronwyn’s knowledge of California law and her ability to offer affordable, non-adversarial solutions set her apart. Her clients often praise her for her ability to reduce the stress and anxiety that comes with divorce, helping them move forward with clarity and confidence. ### **Why Choose Bronwyn Kay Galloway?** Choosing Bronwyn as your **Divorce With Dignity** Provider means choosing a partner who truly cares about your future. Her extensive legal and administrative background ensures that all aspects of the divorce process are handled efficiently and professionally, but it’s her compassionate approach that makes the biggest difference. If you’re looking for someone who will not only guide you through the legal aspects of divorce but also support you emotionally during this difficult time, Bronwyn is an excellent choice. She understands the human side of divorce, and her goal is always to help families find a peaceful path forward. ### **Ready to Take the Next Step?** If you’re in **San Francisco County** and are looking for a way to navigate your divorce with dignity, Bronwyn is here to help. With her expertise, empathy, and dedication to peaceful solutions, she is ready to guide you through every step of the process. Learn more about **Bronwyn Kay Galloway** and how she can assist you on your journey toward a peaceful resolution. **[Meet Bronwyn](https://dwdignity.com/bronwyn-kay-galloway)** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Provider Spotlight **Tags:** amicable divorce, Bronwyn Kay Galloway, collaborative divorce, compassionate divorce process, dignified divorce process, divorce mediation, divorce mediator San Francisco, divorce services San Francisco, Divorce support, divorce transition support, divorce with dignity, family law assistance, legal document preparation, non-adversarial divorce, peaceful divorce solutions --- ### [Why Now Might Be the Best Time to Start Your Divorce Journey Without Litigation](https://dwdignity.com/why-now-might-be-the-best-time-to-start-your-divorce-journey-without-litigation/) **Published:** September 20, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Divorce is never an easy decision, and for many couples, it’s a process that they want to approach with care and thoughtfulness. If you and your spouse are considering ending your marriage but prefer to avoid the conflict and financial burden of litigation, you’re not alone. More and more couples today are opting for amicable divorces, where they can work together to maintain control of their situation, protect their children’s well-being, and save thousands of dollars. But when should you take that first step? You might be asking, “Is now the right time?” With the year coming to a close, you may be surprised to learn that the end of the year is an ideal time to begin the process of amicable divorce. Whether you’re in a state with a longer waiting period or one with a quicker process, there are several reasons why starting now could work to your advantage. ### 1. The Current Economic Situation The current economic climate is a key consideration when thinking about your divorce timeline. Inflation, rising costs of living, and economic uncertainties have put additional strain on many families. If you’re already thinking about divorce, waiting could mean increased financial strain as costs continue to rise. **Why it matters**: Legal costs for traditional litigation-based divorces are high, often reaching tens of thousands of dollars, and that’s not even considering the emotional toll. Choosing an amicable divorce not only helps you retain control of your finances but can also ensure that your hard-earned money is spent on things that matter most to you and your family’s future, rather than being lost to court fees and prolonged battles. By taking action now, you and your spouse can enter the new year with a clearer financial picture. Budgeting for your post-divorce life can begin earlier, giving you time to adjust and plan with purpose. **Current tax laws** also make it an advantageous time to finalize certain financial arrangements. For instance, depending on your situation, you may still be able to file taxes jointly for the current tax year, which could be beneficial from a financial standpoint. Divorce decisions made after January 1 might impact how you’re required to file and what deductions you’re eligible for, meaning you could lose out on potential savings. ### 2. The End of the Year is a Natural Time for Transitions Many people view the end of the year as a time of reflection, renewal, and transition. As the year winds down, we naturally begin to take stock of where we are in life—our relationships, our goals, and our happiness. The holiday season, while joyful for many, can also bring clarity about what is no longer serving us. For couples who are thinking about divorce, this period of reflection can be a time to calmly evaluate their relationship and whether it’s time to move forward separately. The holidays often offer more time away from work and daily routines, giving couples space to have important conversations about the future in a less rushed or pressured environment. Choosing amicable divorce allows you to do this thoughtfully, without the added stress of court hearings or legal battles. You maintain control over the pace and the details, ensuring that the decisions you make reflect the best interests of both you and your spouse. **Reflection and forward-thinking**: Many couples appreciate the idea of starting the new year on a fresh, new path. By beginning the divorce process now, you are more likely to have the major decisions settled or in progress by the time the new year rolls around, allowing you to enter January with a sense of closure and direction. Instead of feeling like you’re carrying unresolved issues into the new year, you can start it with a renewed focus on personal growth and a positive future. ### 3. Minimizing the Emotional Toll Over the Holidays The holiday season can be an emotional time, especially for families with children. For many, the holidays represent togetherness, and it can be hard to imagine initiating or finalizing a divorce during this period. However, beginning the process now could help you manage those emotions more effectively in the long run. For couples with children, an amicable divorce allows you to work together to create a parenting plan that keeps your kids’ best interests at heart. While the holiday season can highlight the emotional difficulties of divorce, it can also be a time to model healthy co-parenting by showing your children that you and your spouse can navigate challenges with dignity and mutual respect. You may also be able to decide together how to handle upcoming holidays, whether it’s staying under one roof temporarily for your children’s sake or alternating holiday traditions. Taking steps toward an amicable divorce now allows you to keep the emotional strain in check and provides space for a smoother transition for everyone involved. The last thing anyone wants is a contentious divorce clouding what should be a time of peace and goodwill. **A more thoughtful, less painful holiday season**: By starting the process sooner rather than later, you give yourself time to process emotions and make key decisions before the holidays are in full swing, which can help minimize the emotional burden on your family. ### 4. Tax Considerations Tax implications are another critical factor in deciding whether to start your divorce now. Depending on how your finances are structured and the specifics of your divorce agreement, filing taxes as a married couple for the last time this year could be financially beneficial. You’ll want to consult with a tax advisor, but an amicable divorce gives you and your spouse the ability to make tax-related decisions together, rather than having them dictated by a judge. **Tax filing status**: Filing jointly may allow you to take advantage of various deductions and tax credits that can ease the financial burden. For example, the child tax credit and earned income tax credit may apply to your situation, and it’s often easier to work together to decide how best to divide these benefits before the calendar flips to the next tax year. For many couples, this is also a time to consider how best to divide retirement accounts, investments, or other assets in a way that minimizes tax liabilities. Some decisions, like rolling over retirement funds, can have significant tax implications that should be carefully planned. Starting the divorce process now can give you time to make these decisions and avoid costly penalties or unnecessary tax burdens. ### 5. Maintain Control and Save Thousands of Dollars Traditional litigated divorces are known to be time-consuming, emotionally draining, and expensive. You might already be aware that litigation typically costs tens of thousands of dollars, and can drag on for months or even years, depending on the complexity of the case. On the other hand, an amicable divorce allows you to retain control over every aspect of your separation—your finances, your parenting plans, and your future. **A cost-effective solution**: Divorce through amicable means, such as mediation, collaboration, or using an amicable divorce service, helps you save thousands of dollars. These processes typically cost a fraction of the price of litigation because they don’t involve lengthy court battles, and they allow both parties to negotiate and reach an agreement without needing to fight it out in court. Many amicable divorce providers offer **flexible payment options** and tailored services to meet your needs. By choosing to start now, you can budget and plan for these costs without the unpredictability that litigation brings. In addition, **maintaining control** means that you and your spouse decide what’s best for your family. You know your children’s needs, your financial situation, and your emotional state better than a court. Together, you can create a divorce agreement that works for everyone involved, without needing a judge to make those decisions for you. ### 6. Take Action Now for a Better Tomorrow At the end of the day, choosing when and how to proceed with your divorce is a deeply personal decision. For many couples, waiting to take action can lead to more stress and uncertainty, both emotionally and financially. By starting now, you take control of the process and give yourselves the opportunity to transition into the next phase of your lives with intention and grace. The end of the year provides a natural point for reflection, resolution, and renewal. It’s a time to consider what’s best for your family, and to make decisions that will set the stage for a positive future. Whether you’re in a state with a longer or shorter waiting period, starting the amicable divorce process now can help you ensure that 2024 begins on a better, more secure footing for everyone involved. If you’re ready to explore your options for an amicable divorce, **now is the time to act**. To find a provider near you, visit the Divorce With Dignity network and start the process of securing a peaceful, respectful, and cost-effective divorce journey. **Take control of your future today** by connecting with an amicable divorce provider here: [Divorce With Dignity Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) Your fresh start awaits. \*\*\* *Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog post is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be legal, financial, or tax advice. Every divorce situation is unique, and laws and regulations may vary by state. You should consult with a licensed attorney, financial advisor, or tax professional to address your specific circumstances and to ensure that any decisions you make are legally sound. Divorce With Dignity does not provide legal representation or tax advice and encourages you to seek professional guidance.* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Papers, Is It Time To Divorce?, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce, amicable divorce provider, amicable separation, avoid court divorce, co-parenting divorce, control divorce process, divorce during the holidays, divorce financial tips, divorce mediation, divorce tax benefits, divorce transition, divorce waiting periods, divorce with dignity, divorce without litigation, economic benefits of divorce, end of year divorce, family mediation, financial planning divorce, holiday reflection divorce, low-cost divorce, peaceful divorce, save money on divorce, start divorce process, tax implications of divorce --- ### [Bridging the Gap: Successful Co-Parenting Across Distances](https://dwdignity.com/bridging-the-gap-successful-co-parenting-across-distances/) **Published:** August 15, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** In today’s mobile society, where employment opportunities sometimes come with a relocation requirement, distance can make even amicable co-parenting problematic. What should parents do when one or the other must move to a different city, state, or even country? It’s fine to say, “the child’s needs come first,” but suppose a new job means a better chance to provide for the child? **Successful co-parenting across distances** requires ex-spouses to put aside their differences and lingering animosities even more than an ordinary divorce. When the parenting plan involves different time zones and Zoom calls, parents must work together to ensure their children still have two involved, caring parents. **Challenges and Creative Solutions** If you know in advance that one of you will be moving out of the area, you can have your relocation plans included in your child custody and visitation agreement. If not, it’s essential that you contact the family court that handled your divorce and custody **before** anyone moves and starts shuttling the kids across state lines. Unlike other arrangements, child custody is subject to the [Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act](https://www.ncjfcj.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/UCCJEA_Guide_Court_Personnel_Judges_Final.pdf) (UCCJEA). The UCCJEA prevents a non-custodial parent from taking children against the other parent’s will and fleeing to another state. Even if you have a long-distance arrangement in place, it’s better to clear any out-of-state relocation with your judge before you move. This helps avoid any misunderstandings and confusion later. Things to consider when setting up the co-parenting custody and visitation agreement: - Location, location, location. The first thing to ask is how “long distance” is your long distance arrangement? Your co-parenting plan will differ if the parent is a few hours away by car, or a few hours away by plane. - Ages and needs of the children. School-age children need to be in one location during the school year, so the primary custodial parent must be the one in or near their school district. A common visitation schedule lets children stay with the non-custodial parent during summers and holiday breaks, but this schedule might not work for infants and toddlers without careful planning. - Travel plans and expenses must be part of your visitation schedule. Airlines may no longer accommodate children traveling alone, and you and your ex may not want younger children traveling alone even if they do. Who travels to pick up the children, and who covers the cost of the extra ticket must be part of your agreement. **Communication Between Children, Parents, and Ex-Spouses** None of this can happen in a vacuum. Even if your children are too young for much traveling, they must be able to see and speak with their other parent regularly. Long-distance parenting requires ex-spouses to communicate with each other, since only one spouse has regular contact with the child, and the other spouse must have regular updates on the child’s health and education. ***For the Parent and the Child*** Small children need routines. If you have toddlers and young children, set a time of day the “remote” parent will call (Skype, Zoom, Facetime). If the child is very young, the parent can do all the talking—nobody thinks that two- or three-year-olds will do much conversing on a Zoom call. Nor should parents expect it. Remote parents can use early chats to read a story or watch a short TV show with the child. The custodial parent must assist by keeping that time open for the parent-child chat. It’s best to set the time later in the evening, with an eye to when the child is older and has afterschool commitments. Plan ahead and avoid friction in five years when the child has soccer or gymnastics and needs to postpone their phone call. Set aside a full hour, even if it isn’t fully used at first. Again, think about later, when your child learns to talk on the phone and Zoom and can carry on a full conversation. The important thing for distance communication and children is to create a routine and keep it. ***For the Parents*** Unless the divorce involved allegations of abuse or sexual misconduct, all communications between the child and the “remote” parent should be private, unless the child requests otherwise. For very young children, the custodial parent may want to be in the room at first, just out of earshot, simply because very young children can’t manage tablets and computers alone. The non-custodial parent still has a right to know about the children’s academic and athletic performance. Being away from the action, so to speak, does not give either parent carte blanche to stop being interested in the child’s activities. If the remote parent can participate in sports or school events via live stream, they should do so. If you and your ex cannot communicate amicably about your child’s well-being, you should find a trusted go-between who can relay information. This is not an ideal option for anyone. Parents should never use the child as a go-between, as a spy, or as a sounding-board for their grievances against the other parent. **Things Nobody Thinks About** There are always things that neither you, your attorney, or the judge will think about when writing up your visitation and custody agreement. If you have a good mediator, they might come up with some of these issues, but nobody can think of everything. Be flexible no matter what is thrown your way. - **Teenagers**. Someday, your sweet little children will be surly, moody teenagers. No matter how well you craft your visitation schedule, teenagers may not want to visit their remote parent, talk with them (or you), or anything else they’re supposed to do according to the divorce decree. Trying to make them is never a good idea. - **Boys and girls and moms and dads**. Sometimes your male offspring may need to talk to their male parental figure, or your female child may want to speak with the female parental unit, even if it “isn’t time for them to call.” Amicable separations must allow for these sudden calls if you want your children to be happy. It usually has nothing to do with you. - **Do you need to talk with your ex**? You and your ex will always be your children’s parents. Even if both of you remarry, you may need to consult with your children’s biological parent from time to time. Do not hesitate to do so. **Final Thoughts** At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/), our Providers try to think of things that other attorneys and judges won’t think about when deciding when children visit the distant spouse and how long a Facetime call should be. Our attorneys, mediators, therapists, and others understand that not everything can be reduced to a strict legal agreement. Give us a call if you need to create or modify a custody agreement. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting --- ### [Mindfulness in Co-Parenting: Nurturing Children with Presence](https://dwdignity.com/mindfulness-in-co-parenting-nurturing-children-with-presence/) **Published:** July 16, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Divorce is hard on all participants, but it’s especially hard on the ones who have the least to say—the children. As angry spouses haul one another into court, it can be easy to forget the kids except as another thing you’re fighting over. Which one of you “gets” the kids and which one “has” to pay child support makes it sound like you’re trading baseball cards. ***Time to rethink your divorce co-parenting strategy.*** Apply some mindfulness in co-parenting. **Stay Present and Stay on Target** During a divorce, spouses sometimes forget that they’re still **parents** first, and always will be. Between the two of you, you created a bunch of little people who need you to put them first, even ahead of your arguments over who “gets” the dining room set or the SUV. You and your spouse are divorcing because you can no longer live peacefully together; but you should try and keep a peaceful space for your children. The old saw “Not in front of the children” has fallen out of use, but you can bring it back. When the kids are in the room, you and your spouse should at least be civil. If you can’t do that, you should arrange not to be in the same place at the same time. **Parents and Children and Conflict** Once the divorce is final, you must leave the anger in the courtroom with all the other paperwork. This is strangely difficult for many people to do. Former spouses will argue over custody and visitation until the last child has graduated high school. This is bad for the kids, and it isn’t good for you either. It means dragging everyone through the pain over and over again. So, what should you do instead? Of course, if you and your spouse have an amicable divorce, you have a good co-parenting relationship. If not, or if a little bitterness seeps in now and then, you can try these ideas to stay in the moment and keep your kids happy and healthy. **Create a parenting plan first**. During the divorce, the judge will make a custody and visitation agreement, but that’s only a template. It will say where the kids stay during the week, and on weekends, and who pays for health insurance. You need a plan that accounts for all the little quirks and foibles of your family. - The visitation should allow for overnights with friends, other family, or school events - Remember any family holidays, like Uncle Joe’s First of August BBQ - Be sure discipline is the same in both households, so bedtimes and homework are enforced by both parents - Dietary restrictions, medications, and other needs should be well-stocked and kept in both homes The purpose of your parenting plan should be preventing one home from being the “fun” home and the other the “strict” home. Neither parent can blame the other if a child misses a dose of medication or eats a forbidden food during a custodial visit. **Get Professional Help** With your parenting plan, your children, and yourself. If you and your spouse cannot communicate during or after your divorce, consider a mediator or family law attorney to help craft your parenting plan. A mediator can assist you with writing out your plan, and spot missing details in your goals. Children are aware of tension in the family long before it comes into the open. They may not let you know they’re unhappy, especially as they get older. If teenagers seem moody or angry, you may chalk it up to “hormones” or “just being a kid,” but it could be more serious. Don’t take grunts or shrugs for an answer. You don’t need to nag or pry, but let your child know you’re ready to listen. If you’re having trouble letting go of anger, resentment, or guilt after a divorce, talk to someone. Family or friends are good sounding boards, but never criticize your ex where your kids can hear, or with anyone who might repeat your complaints back to them. Professional therapists might be better, since you can talk to them, get a sympathetic ear, and some good advice as well. **Holding Up One End of the House** You can only rescue yourself, as they say. In a perfect world, your spouse will do all these things and your co-parenting plans will go smoothly, but what can you do when your ex won’t cooperate? What should you do when your ex does everything possible to undercut your parenting plans? Relax. Take a deep breath. Then remember that your children still have two parents, and your job is to give them the best upbringing you can. You must resist the temptation to confront your ex or run back to court with proof that your ex is a terrible parent. In some cases, non-custodial parents simply become less engaged because they see the children less often. When a custodial arrangement gives one parent less than 50% of the time (for whatever reason), it isn’t surprising that that parent has difficulty connecting with their child. Or they may have met someone else and be withdrawing from the child without realizing it. Before things get out of hand, try reaching out to your spouse. If you’re still not able to speak with them directly, consider using a third party, such as a mediator. Don’t have your attorney do it. Bring the subject up directly, but non-confrontationally. “We agreed the kids would be in bed by 10:00, but Bobby said he stayed up till 11:30 the other night, what happened?” or “You’ve missed three of Kate’s soccer games, is everything okay?” Let your spouse know that you want to communicate, not argue, that you’re concerned your spouse is missing out on the children’s activities. Communication is always key, before, during, and after divorce. When both parents talk things out, the children are the beneficiaries. **Final Thoughts** At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/), our Providers will help you before, during, and after your divorce. Our Providers include attorneys, mediators, therapists, and other professionals who know how to open lines of communication even if people don’t want to discuss things. We’re just a phone call away if you need answers to your dissolution questions. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting **Tags:** children and divorce, coparenting, divorce mediation --- ### [Navigating Divorce with Mediation: A Compassionate Approach by Denise Foster](https://dwdignity.com/navigating-divorce-with-mediation-a-compassionate-approach-by-denise-foster/) **Published:** February 21, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** Navigating divorce through mediation is a compassionate and empowering choice. My commitment as a Divorce With Dignity Provider is to facilitate this process with care, ensuring that individuals can transition into the next chapter of their lives with dignity, understanding, and a sense of control. **Content:** ***Guest Author: Denise Foster, Divorce With Dignity Provider*** Embarking on the journey of divorce can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. As a Divorce With Dignity Provider, my goal is to guide individuals through this process with empathy, understanding, and a commitment to fostering amicable resolutions. In this blog post, I want to shed light on the invaluable service of divorce with mediation—an approach that I have witnessed transform the lives of many clients without the need for lengthy legal battles. **Understanding Divorce Mediation:** Divorce mediation is a collaborative process where a neutral third party, the mediator, facilitates communication and negotiation between divorcing individuals. Divorce mediation is a collaborative process where a neutral third party, the mediator, facilitates communication and negotiation between divorcing individuals. I’ve been helping my clients divorce amicably for over ten years, using mediation as a supportive technique for couples to discuss their concerns and reach mutually acceptable agreements that benefit themselves and their family. **The Benefits of Mediation:** 1. Cost-Effective: Mediation tends to be more cost-effective than traditional litigation. By engaging in open dialogue and negotiation, couples often save on legal fees and court expenses. 2. Time-Efficient: Unlike the lengthy court processes, mediation allows couples to work at their own pace, expediting the resolution of issues such as child custody, asset division, and spousal support. 3. Empowerment and Control: Mediation empowers couples to make decisions that directly impact their lives. By actively participating in the resolution process, individuals often feel more in control of the outcome. 4. Preserving Relationships: The collaborative nature of mediation fosters communication and understanding. This is particularly crucial for couples with children, as maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship is often a shared goal. **My Role as a Mediator:** In my capacity as a mediator, I act as a neutral facilitator, guiding couples through discussions and helping them explore creative solutions. In my capacity as a mediator, I act as a neutral facilitator, guiding couples through discussions and helping them explore creative solutions. It is important to clarify that I do not provide legal advice or advocate for one party over the other. My focus is on creating a space for open communication and ensuring that both parties feel heard and understood. **The Process:** 1. Initial Consultation: The mediation process typically begins with an initial consultation. During this meeting, I explain the mediation process, clarify roles, and address any questions or concerns. 2. Identifying Issues: We work together to identify the key issues that need resolution, such as child custody, property division, and financial matters. 3. Negotiation and Agreement: Through guided discussions and negotiations, couples work towards reaching mutually agreeable solutions. I provide support, offer insights, and facilitate compromise. 4. Document Preparation: Once agreements are reached, I assist in preparing the necessary legal documents for filing with the court. It’s important to note that I am not an attorney, and individuals may choose to seek legal advice if they wish. **Conclusion:** Navigating divorce through mediation is a compassionate and empowering choice. My commitment as a Divorce With Dignity Provider is to facilitate this process with care, ensuring that individuals can transition into the next chapter of their lives with dignity, understanding, and a sense of control. If you are considering divorce or have questions about mediation, please feel free to [contact me](https://dwdignity.com/denise-foster/). I am here to support you on your journey to a more amicable resolution. --- ### **About the Author** **Denise Foster, Divorce With Dignity – Alameda** Denise Foster is your trusted Alameda, CA partner in navigating divorce with dignity. As a dedicated Divorce With Dignity Provider, Denise’s sole mission is to ensure your divorce process is as amicable and stress-free as possible, saving you valuable time, money, and unnecessary frustration during this challenging period. With a passion for simplifying the legal system, Denise pursued a career as a paralegal to empower individuals like you to navigate the complexities of divorce with ease and confidence. Her commitment lies in educating and guiding clients through every step of the process, making it accessible and understandable without the distress of facing the unknown alone. Denise understands firsthand the emotional and financial toll that traditional divorce proceedings can take. That’s why she is dedicated to providing a nurturing and supportive environment for her clients, fostering a sense of ease and understanding throughout the entire journey. [![Denise Foster - Divorce With Dignity - Alameda Divorce Mediator](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Denise-Foster-Divorce-With-Dignity-Alameda-2024-Circle-300x300.png)](https://dwdignity.com/denise-foster/) *Disclaimer:* *For over a decade, I’ve been facilitating amicable divorces for my clients through the use of mediation. By creating a supportive environment, I enable couples to openly discuss their concerns and collaboratively reach agreements that are mutually beneficial for both parties and their families. As a non-attorney mediator, my services offer a cost-effective alternative, potentially saving you thousands of dollars. In the event legal representation is required, I can provide referrals to qualified attorneys.* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Mediation --- ### [Love and Equality: LGBTQ+ Divorce Stories](https://dwdignity.com/love-and-equality-lgbtq-divorce-stories/) **Published:** June 13, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** June is traditionally the month for marriage, and it’s also the month for Pride and equality. It might not be a good time to talk about divorce, but equality in marriage should mean equality in separation. All parties should have the same standing leaving the marriage as they did entering. **Content:** June is traditionally the month for marriage, and it’s also the month for Pride and equality. It might not be a good time to talk about FGBTQ+ Divorce, but equality in marriage should mean equality in separation. All parties should have the same standing leaving the marriage as they did entering. Recent court decisions have assisted the legal equality of dissolution of marriage; but the rest is up to the divorcing couple. If everyone works to have an amicable divorce, the laws can help you and your partner celebrate Pride Month if not as a couple then as equal members of your community. **Getting the Law on Your Side** As recently as 2015, divorce laws were still heavily gendered and exclusive. Laws referred to “husband and wife” when dividing property, and “mother and father” when establishing a parent-child relationship, meaning the couple had to argue over who used property in a “manly” way or acted in a “maternal” fashion towards their children. Thanks to the Supreme Court rulings *Obergefell v. Hodges*, which guaranteed the right of marriage to all same-sex couples, and *Pavan v. Smith* (137 S.Ct. 2075 (2017) which extended *Obergefell* to the benefits of marriage, including parentage and child custody, legally couples don’t have to do this any longer. An increasing number of states have eliminated gendered language in favor of “spouses” and “parents,” presuming that, surprisingly, both parties contribute equally to the business of marriage and child-rearing. When it comes to same-sex divorce, this creates a greater sense of equality during the proceedings. **Legal Considerations and Concerns** Of course, just because the law says something doesn’t mean everyone cooperates. There is still plenty of prejudice in the courtrooms, and contentious same-sex divorces are just as unpleasant as heterosexual divorces. Just because the law says the parents are equal under the law will not prevent an angry spouse from claiming her lesbian partner is distant, abusive, or cold towards the children—just like any husband. On the flip side, the *Pavan* ruling means that, while same-sex partners are entitled to the same benefits and protections of marriage, it also means that partners cannot dodge their responsibilities following a divorce. State laws now accommodate assisted reproduction in same-sex marriages and require the biological mother’s spouse to pay child support despite the absence of biological relationship (*Treto v. Treto*, 622 S.W.3d 397 (Tex. App. 2020). *Obergefell* has resolved many of the other issues facing same-sex couples, namely, when the marital relationship begins. Prior to the decision, same-sex couples might be legally married in half a dozen states, but their status would not be recognized in the remainder. This meant a divorce in one state might or might not be lawful in any of the 49 other states. Property division was equally unsettled. Thanks to *Obergefell*, all same-sex marriages became legal nationwide as of 2015. As of 2024, nearly all states have abolished “domestic partnerships” for purposes of same-sex relationships. There are still hiccups in resolving property issues, where partners neglected to retitle real estate or other property, but far fewer than previously. **Amicable Resolutions for LGBTQ+ Divorce** With all this in mind, same-sex couples can enjoy the same amicable resolutions as their heterosexual counterparts with the assistance of comprehensive divorce mediation. In fact, thanks to the Supreme Court rulings, amicable divorce is easier for couples because couples don’t need to worry that an agreement in one state won’t be binding in another state. With an amicable divorce, couples can craft a separation that accommodates everyone’s preferences and needs. Today, that includes a type of spouse *Obergefell* doesn’t cover: Transgender spouses. Sadly, although most spouses support their transitioning partners, courts have yet to catch up. Some courts (and judges and attorneys) remain biased against transgender parents, who could find themselves on the losing end of custody and visitation agreements. A mediated agreement where both parties participate outside of the courtroom can lead to better results and avoid any unpleasant confrontations. Just as important, a separation where both parties participate in the process ensures equality for everyone. That’s the purpose of Pride month, equality and participation for all. **Other Reasons to Celebrate** Juneteenth (June 19) celebrates the day in 1865 that enslaved people in the remote parts of Texas learned that the Civil War was over and they were free. On June 12, 1967, the landmark court decision *Loving v. Virginia* enshrined interracial marriage rights in law. Although it may seem odd to celebrate marriages and the end of slavery and amicable divorce, they all have the same things in common: equality for all parties. Everyone should be equal to enter into marriage, and then to leave the marriage on equal terms if they choose. If everyone can do that, then the laws have succeeded. **Final Thoughts** A friend of mine in California entered a “domestic partnership” many years ago, when lesbian marriage was still not recognized. She and her partner had two children with a donor, and for a few years all was good. Then her partner left her and took the children. With no marriage, and no biological relationship, my friend had no legal standing with the children. She never saw them again. At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/), our Providers never want to see that happen again. Divorces may not be amicable, but children should not be arbitrarily separated from a parent through operation of law. Thanks to the new rulings, this would not happen today. It’s too late for my friend now, but it isn’t too late for you and your family. No matter what situation you find yourselves in, we will work with you to find a solution that works for everyone. Our Providers include attorneys, mediators, therapists, and other professionals who want to help you and your family get through a complex divorce. We’re just a phone call away if you need answers to your dissolution questions. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Mediation --- ### [Non-Traditional Co-Parenting: Birdnesting and Parallel Parenting Explained](https://dwdignity.com/non-traditional-co-parenting-birdnesting-and-parallel-parenting-explained/) **Published:** May 17, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** It hasn’t been a traditional spring, with snow late in April rather than spring showers. Non-traditional weather makes it a good time to discuss other unusual arrangements, like *birdnesting* and *parallel parenting*. Thinking outside the box for your divorce solution takes courage, but it can lead to a better outcome for everyone. Let’s start with *birdnesting*. This unique type of co-parenting takes the divorce out of the home and leaves the household intact. **Birdnesting: An Alternative Co-Parenting Arrangement** If you have children, a divorce becomes much more complicated. Issues of custody, visitation, and living arrangements must be argued along with property division and support payments. Even if the separation is reasonably amicable, disruption of the family unit is never good for children. In birdnesting, the children remain in the family home, and the parents take turns living with the children on their arranged custody schedule. When the parent does not have custody, they live elsewhere. **Pros and Cons of Keeping the Nest** Birdnesting has some significant benefits for children, especially older children who may be upset by losing parents, homes, and friends if they need to move to a new residence. Maintaining the home residence keeps the children’s anchor during a time of family turmoil. Both parents must be active in the children’s lives. Even the most equitable custody arrangement can result in one parent more of a household role than the other. Since the parents have to share the home, they will have to contribute equally to the care of the house and children. The kids won’t have a sense of being abandoned by a parent. Since the parents stay at home and rotate in and out of the house, the children have both parents in their lives and interested in their affairs. The downsides to birdnesting should be considered carefully. - Parents must make it clear they are not reconciling. Children need to understand that their parents are divorced and could get remarried. - Parents must agree on household chores and duties. Birdnesting cannot succeed if parents were already arguing about cleaning the kitchen and laundry assignments. - It can be expensive. Not only are parents now supporting the “nest,” they each must have their own place to live when they are not at the children’s home. Instead of two homes post-divorce, you now have three. - Remember why you divorced. As much as you love your children and want only the best for them, you divorced because you could not live with your spouse. Birdnesting keeps spouses in close proximity, so any unresolved issues will reemerge. If you and your former spouse communicate well, and separated amicably, then birdnesting may be an option to consider. Birdnesting may be advantageous for couples with special-needs children who will be especially traumatized by separation and need their home and belongings around them. **Parallel Parenting: A Practical Approach to Co-Parenting Differences** If you’re not comfortable with sharing a house with your ex, or circumstances won’t permit an alternative co-parenting arrangement, a more traditional format, *parallel parenting* may work for you. Parallel parenting is recommended for high-conflict divorces, where communication is difficult and custody and visitation must be highly structured for the sake of the children and family. Parallel parenting is the polar opposite of birdnesting. In a parallel arrangement, parents seldom or never see one another. **When and How to Parallel Parent** In parallel parenting, parents agree to a hands-off approach to the other parent’s child-rearing style. When the children are with you, they may have one set of bedtime rules, chores, and so on. When they are with the other parent, that parent’s rules apply. Neither parent has any say about what goes on in the other parent’s household. This parenting system works in high-conflict, low-communication divorces, where the parents cannot talk without arguing, but where there is no other risk to the children. For instance, one parent may want the children to come home, do their homework, and then have free time. The other may enforce early bedtimes even if homework must wait until the next day. As long as homework gets done and children get enough sleep, there is no real issue. **Areas of Concern in Parallel Parenting** Because parents in this situation already have communication issues, it’s important that their attorneys or mediators work closely with the court to develop a custody agreement. Some things to keep in mind: - Parents must avoid commenting on one another’s system. This includes letting the kids play parents off against each other. Facing the insecurity of divorce, kids may argue “That’s not how we do it at mom’s house,” or “Dad lets me play video games after dinner.” In parallel parenting, parents must be firm about their rules, and not give in to snide comments about Dad letting them be lazy or mom being overly strict. - In some states, parents must have joint access to children’s school and medical records, and equal ability to make educational and medical decisions on the child’s behalf. For instance, the school must be able to contact either parent in case of emergency. - Parallel parenting can be temporary at the parents’ option. The settlement agreement should include a clause providing a method for the parents to amend the decision through mediation without needing a formal motion to amend. Parallel parenting is intentionally more structured than a standard co-parenting system. Like birdnesting, the purpose of this style of custody is to put the parents’ focus back on their shared duty as parents and remove the pressure of divorce from the household. **Final Thoughts** At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/), Providers want all our clients to succeed with their divorce. If your separation is not as amicable as you’d like, we can still help you through your custody arrangement. Birdnesting may not work for your family for financial reasons, but parallel parenting may be too restrictive. We can help find a middle way that works for everyone. Through our amicable mediation, we can ensure that ever detail is outlined for your unique situation. Our Providers include attorneys, mediators, therapists, and other professionals who want to help you and your family get through a complex divorce. We’re [just a phone call away](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) if you need answers to your dissolution questions. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Mediation --- ### [Navigating Divorce Mediation in Texas: A Comprehensive Guide (Part Two)](https://dwdignity.com/navigating-divorce-mediation-in-texas-a-comprehensive-guide-part-two/) **Published:** April 24, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Following our previous article, “[Navigating Divorce Mediation in Texas: A Guide for Couples](https://dwdignity.com/navigating-divorce-mediation-in-texas-a-guide-for-couples/),” which provided an introduction to the mediation process, this continuation aims to delve deeper into crucial aspects not covered in the initial guide. Divorce mediation offers a collaborative and less adversarial approach to resolving divorce issues, and understanding these additional facets can help couples make informed decisions and navigate the mediation process more effectively. ### Qualifications and Selection of Mediators Choosing the right mediator is paramount for a successful mediation process. While Texas does not have specific licensure requirements for divorce mediators, it is essential to select a mediator who has undergone formal training and is experienced in family law mediation. Look for a mediator who is certified by reputable organizations such as the Texas Mediator Credentialing Association or has a background in family law. When selecting a mediator, consider the following: - **Experience:** Choose a mediator who has experience in family law and divorce mediation. - **Training**: Ensure the mediator has received formal training in mediation techniques and family law. - **Style**: Find a mediator whose style aligns with your preferences, whether it be facilitative, evaluative, or transformative mediation. - **References**: Check references and reviews from previous clients to gauge the mediator’s effectiveness and professionalism. ### Confidentiality in Mediation Confidentiality is a cornerstone of the mediation process. In Texas, all communications, statements, and documents generated during mediation are confidential and cannot be used as evidence in court. This confidentiality encourages open and honest communication between parties, fostering a more collaborative atmosphere conducive to reaching agreements. It is important to understand that this confidentiality does have limitations, such as: - **Exceptions**: Certain exceptions may apply, such as disclosures required by law or to prevent harm to oneself or others. - **Waiver**: Parties can waive confidentiality, allowing information to be used in court, but this must be done knowingly and voluntarily. ### Enforceability of Mediated Agreements Once an agreement is reached in mediation, it is essential to understand how it can be made legally binding and enforceable. In Texas, mediated agreements can be incorporated into a divorce decree, making them enforceable by the court. To ensure enforceability: - **Drafting**: The mediated agreement should be drafted carefully to comply with legal requirements and standards. - **Legal Review**: It is advisable to have the agreement reviewed by an attorney to ensure it is fair, equitable, and legally enforceable. - **Court Approval**: Once both parties have signed the agreement, it can be submitted to the court for approval and incorporation into the divorce decree. ### When Mediation is Not Appropriate While mediation is a viable option for many couples, there are situations where it may not be appropriate: - **Domestic Violence**: If there is a history of domestic violence or abuse, mediation may not be safe or appropriate. - **Lack of Good Faith**: If one party is not willing to participate in good faith or is not committed to reaching a mutually acceptable agreement, mediation may not be successful. - **Complex Legal Issues**: In cases involving complex legal issues or high-conflict situations, litigation may be a more suitable option. ### Legal Representation in Mediation While mediation is a voluntary and informal process, parties have the right to consult with an attorney at any stage of the mediation process. Having legal representation can help ensure that your rights and interests are protected and that any agreements reached are fair and equitable. ### Duration of the Mediation Process The duration of the mediation process can vary depending on the complexity of the issues involved and the willingness of the parties to cooperate and negotiate in good faith. While some mediations may be resolved in a single session, others may require multiple sessions over several weeks or months. ### Preparation for Mediation Preparing for mediation can help parties make the most of the process and increase the likelihood of reaching a successful agreement. Here are some tips for preparing for mediation: - **Gather Documentation**: Gather all relevant financial documents, such as bank statements, tax returns, and asset inventories. - **Identify Priorities**: Identify your priorities and concerns regarding child custody, visitation, property division, and other key issues. - **Consult with an Attorney**: Consult with an attorney to understand your rights, obligations, and legal options before entering mediation. ### Post-Mediation Agreements After reaching an agreement in mediation, the next step is to finalize the agreement and file for divorce in court. Here’s what happens after mediation: - **Drafting the Agreement**: The mediated agreement should be carefully drafted to ensure it is clear, comprehensive, and legally enforceable. - **Legal Review**: Have the agreement reviewed by an attorney to ensure it complies with legal requirements and protects your rights and interests. - **Filing for Divorce**: Once the agreement is finalized, it can be submitted to the court as part of the divorce proceedings. ### Emotional Aspects of Mediation The emotional aspects of mediation can be challenging, as divorce is a significant life transition that can evoke a range of emotions. It is essential to manage emotions effectively and approach mediation with a calm, rational mindset to facilitate productive discussions and negotiations. ### Child Support Guidelines In Texas, child support is determined based on the Texas Child Support Guidelines, which consider factors such as the parents’ income, the number of children, and the amount of time each parent spends with the children. Understanding these guidelines can help parties negotiate child support agreements that are fair and in the best interests of the children. ### Tax Implications of Divorce Divorce can have significant tax implications, affecting how assets and alimony (‘spousal maintenance’) are taxed. It is important to consider these tax implications when negotiating divorce agreements and consulting with a tax professional or financial advisor can help parties make informed decisions that minimize tax liabilities and maximize financial stability post-divorce. ### Conclusion Navigating divorce mediation in Texas requires careful consideration of various factors, from selecting a qualified mediator and understanding confidentiality and enforceability to preparing for mediation, managing emotions, and addressing post-mediation agreements and tax implications. By understanding these aspects and working with experienced professionals, couples can navigate the mediation process more effectively and reach agreements that are fair, equitable, and in the best interests of everyone involved. If you’re seeking family law mediation in Texas, consider reaching out to [Farrah Rose of Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose-montgomery-county-texas-divorce-mediation/). Farrah takes a holistic and amicable approach to mediation, focusing on resolving conflicts in a respectful and collaborative manner. This approach often leads to more amicable and sustainable agreements compared to traditional adversarial methods, reducing stress and conflict for all parties involved. Contact Farrah Rose today to learn more about how [Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose-montgomery-county-texas-divorce-mediation/) can help you navigate your divorce with dignity, respect, and fairness. --- **Written by Farrah Rose, Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery.** [![Divorce Mediation in Texas](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Farrah-Rose-Divorce-With-Dignity-Montgomery-County-TX-1-300x300.png)](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose-montgomery-county-texas-divorce-mediation/) Farrah Rose is a Texas Family Law Certified Mediator and a provider with [**Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery**](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose-montgomery-county-texas-family-law-mediation/). With a mission centered around facilitating amicable divorces without the need for court battles, Farrah deeply understands the emotional toll divorce can take. She offers a safe, dignified path forward, helping individuals transition from broken relationships to new beginnings with grace and respect. Specializing in amicable divorce, mediation, and divorce planning, Farrah provides guidance and support, ensuring each client can navigate this challenging phase with dignity and peace of mind. Holding certifications in Advanced Civil and Advanced Family Mediation, Farrah is dedicated to preserving relationships where possible and empowering individuals to move forward positively. [Learn more about Farrah Rose and her services here](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose-montgomery-county-texas-family-law-mediation/). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce Process, Mediation, Texas --- ### [Financial Literacy in Divorce: A Guide to Financial Freedom](https://dwdignity.com/financial-literacy-in-divorce-a-guide-to-financial-freedom/) **Published:** April 17, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** If there is anything that ought to be taught in school that is not, it’s “financial literacy.” Many of us wouldn’t consider ourselves financially educated. We can balance our bank accounts (maybe) and keep our credit cards paid (usually) — but financial literacy is something we leave typically to accountants and bankers. But financial literacy in divorce is crucial. True financial literacy, like computer literacy, means having the skills needed to handle money at all levels — not just budgeting for a week, but for a year or five. You should understand different kinds of retirement funds, alternate income sources, and ways to clear debts. You need these skills before an emergency strikes, such as a divorce. You may have an attorney or mediator to help you, but you need to understand what your attorney is talking about before you put your signature on any agreement. **Understanding Your Financial Future** Divorce can be an unnerving and financially destabilizing event in someone’s life. Even when the separation is amicable, property must be divided, bank accounts and pension plans split up, and words like “qualified domestic relations order” start being thrown around. It helps if you know what they’re talking about in terms of your future. If you’re going through (or about to go through) a divorce, now is the time to brush up your financial literacy and find out what is happening. **Estimating Expenses and Costs** In divorce proceedings, the approach to estimating expenses and costs varies between traditional litigation and mediation. Divorce Litigation: In traditional divorce litigation, the focus is often on short-term financial information to determine how assets will be divided. When you review your divorce paperwork, there is typically a section for estimated monthly expenses. The courts use this information as a basis for asset division. It is essential to accurately assess your expenses. Instead of simply estimating, “I spend $100 per week on groceries,” take the time to track your actual weekly expenditures on food, including quick trips to convenience stores and stops at Starbucks for coffee. This detailed tracking helps you understand your spending habits better and enhances your budgeting skills. Importantly, during financial negotiations in divorce litigation, you can present your actual expenses to justify your financial needs. Divorce Mediation: In contrast, divorce mediation encourages a collaborative approach to financial planning. Rather than focusing solely on estimated monthly expenses, mediation emphasizes open communication and shared decision-making. Both parties work together to create a comprehensive budget that reflects their individual and joint financial needs. This collaborative process often leads to a more nuanced and fair division of assets, as it takes into account the specific financial circumstances and priorities of both parties. Financial literacy plays a crucial role in mediation, empowering both parties to make informed decisions and achieve a mutually beneficial resolution. **Understand the Implications of Budgets** Once you know what your expenses are each month, you’re in a better position to negotiate during your divorce. Some divorce advisors recommend creating three different budgets: - A historical or “lifestyle” budget. This is how you’ve spent money during your marriage. - A temporary budget for your divorce. This will include any divorce-related expenses, such as travel time and court costs. - A post-divorce budget that will contain any alimony or support payments Gather your financial documents and review them carefully when making your budgets. Your historical budget will help you make plans for your future financial plans. **Long-Term Financial Goals** After a divorce, many people feel adrift. Even if you have a good job and your divorce settled your financial affairs equitably, you may feel at a loss about your future goals. Now is a good time to review those budgets you made and make better long-term plans for yourself and your family. Use your historical budget to plan for the future. Your divorce can be a chance to start fresh. Now is a good time to discuss financial planning. Start with your daily and weekly needs. There are things you cannot do without, and things you must pay, such as the power bills. At the same time, don’t force yourself to live in a hovel—budget enough for comfort. - Review your fixed and variable expenses. Where can you cut costs and what must you have every month? Perhaps now is a good time to buy a home coffeemaker and skip the daily double latte. - Will you be paying or receiving monthly support payments? If you must make child support payments, consider having them deducted from your paycheck rather than making direct payments to your former spouse. This ensures timely payments, and lets you make your monthly budgeting plans with that amount already deducted from your available funds. - If you and your spouse are dividing a retirement or pension, consider paying or receiving the amount in a lump sum during the divorce, rather than cashing out the pension. This preserves the pension for its intended purpose, providing income after retirement. **Planning Your Financial Future** In times past, divorce meant that one party had a drastic decline in their financial status, while one party’s improved. Fortunately, things have changed, but without some forethought, you can still find yourself struggling after the divorce. Resist the temptation to return to your former pre-divorce spending habits. Remember, even if you receive child support or other payments, it won’t be the same as when you and your partner were paying for everything between you. If you receive any lump sum payments from the settlement agreement—for instance, if you divide property and take your share of a house or car in cash—consider investing or purchasing a 401(k) rather than spending it. Or pay down existing debts to improve your credit score. Consider discussing your situation with a divorce financial analyst. Your attorney or mediator may be able to suggest someone who can help you. They can explain financial planning and review investment methods that fit your income and lifestyle. **Final Thoughts** At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/), Providers can empathize with what you’re going through emotionally and financially. We try not to use confusing terminology like “forensic accounting” and when we do, we’ll always explain what it means and why you need it. We want to see you and your former partner divide your assets in ways that help both of you separate and move on successfully with your lives. If you need additional help, we want to help you find that too. Don’t feel like you’re adrift in a strange sea of dollars and nonsense. If you have questions with no answers, just ask our providers. If we can help you find the answers, [our Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) are just a phone call away. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Financial Literacy in Divorce --- ### [Empowering Women in Divorce: A Spotlight on Women's History Month](https://dwdignity.com/empowering-women-in-divorce-a-spotlight-on-womens-history-month/) **Published:** March 14, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** # Empowering Women in Divorce: A Spotlight on Women’s History Month Mar 14, 2024 | [Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/category/amicable-divorce-and-conflict-resolutio/), [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Mediation](https://dwdignity.com/category/mediation/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce Process, Mediation --- ### [Navigating the Path of Commitment: A Comprehensive Guide to Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements](https://dwdignity.com/navigating-the-path-of-commitment-a-comprehensive-guide-to-prenuptial-and-postnuptial-agreements/) **Published:** March 11, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** # Navigating the Path of Commitment: A Comprehensive Guide to Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements Mar 11, 2024 | [Divorce Papers](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-papers/), [Domestic Legal Agreements](https://dwdignity.com/category/domestic-legal-agreements/) **Categories:** Divorce Papers, Domestic Legal Agreements **Tags:** domestic legal agreements --- ### [Navigating Divorce Mediation in Texas: A Guide for Couples](https://dwdignity.com/navigating-divorce-mediation-in-texas-a-guide-for-couples/) **Published:** February 28, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** **Introduction** Divorce is a challenging and emotional process for any couple, especially when children are involved. For couples seeking divorce mediation in Texas, it offers an alternative to traditional litigation, providing couples with a collaborative and less adversarial approach to resolving their differences. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore the ins and outs of divorce mediation in Texas, covering everything from the mediation process to the key issues that need to be addressed, including the involvement of new partners or spouses. **Understanding Divorce Mediation** Divorce mediation is a voluntary process where couples work with a neutral third-party mediator to negotiate and resolve issues related to their divorce. Unlike litigation, which can be lengthy, costly, and contentious, mediation empowers couples to make their own decisions and reach agreements that are mutually acceptable. **The Mediation Process** The mediation process typically begins with an initial consultation, where the mediator explains the process and gathers information about the couple’s situation. From there, the mediator facilitates discussions between the spouses, helping them identify and prioritize their concerns and interests. Throughout the process, the mediator remains neutral and impartial, guiding the conversation and encouraging open communication. **Key Issues in Divorce Mediation** In Texas, divorce mediation covers a wide range of issues, especially when children are involved. These issues include child custody, visitation schedules, child support, health insurance, education, and religious upbringing. Additionally, if either spouse has a new partner or spouse, considerations about their involvement may need to be addressed, such as property division, spousal support, and parenting arrangements. **Addressing New Partners or Spouses** The involvement of new partners or spouses can add complexity to divorce mediation. Couples may need to discuss how assets acquired during new relationships should be treated, the impact on spousal support, and considerations for child custody and visitation. Clear boundaries and expectations should be established regarding the role of new partners in the mediation process and ongoing co-parenting relationship. **Navigating Legal Duties and Responsibilities** In Texas, both parents have legal rights and duties regarding their children, regardless of their marital status. These rights include receiving information about the children’s health, education, and welfare, as well as making decisions about their medical care and education. Parents also have a duty to inform each other about significant information concerning the children’s well-being and any changes in their living arrangements. **Understanding the Costs of Divorce Mediation** While divorce mediation can be more cost-effective than litigation, it’s essential to understand the potential costs involved. Mediators typically charge either by the hour or through flat fees, with many couples finding flat fees to be a more predictable and affordable option. The total cost will depend on the complexity of the issues and the number of sessions required. Compared to the average cost of litigating a divorce in Texas, which can range from several thousand to tens of thousands of dollars, mediation often proves to be a significantly more affordable alternative. Couples should also consider any additional expenses, such as legal fees or administrative costs, when budgeting for their mediation process. **Benefits of Divorce Mediation** Despite the challenges, divorce mediation offers several benefits for couples seeking to dissolve their marriage amicably. These benefits include greater control over the outcome, reduced stress and conflict, and a faster and more cost-effective process. Mediation also fosters better communication and cooperation between spouses, which can be especially beneficial when co-parenting children. **Conclusion** Divorce mediation offers couples in Texas a viable alternative to traditional litigation, providing a collaborative and less adversarial approach to resolving their differences. By understanding the mediation process and addressing key issues, including the involvement of new partners or spouses, couples can navigate their divorce with greater ease and efficiency. With the help of a skilled mediator, couples can work together to reach agreements that are fair, equitable, and in the best interests of everyone involved. --- **Written by Farrah Rose, Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery.** ![](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Farrah-Rose-Divorce-With-Dignity-Montgomery-County-TX-1-300x300.png) Farrah Rose is a Texas Family Law Certified Mediator and a provider with [**Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery**](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose-montgomery-county-texas-family-law-mediation/). With a mission centered around facilitating amicable divorces without the need for court battles, Farrah deeply understands the emotional toll divorce can take. She offers a safe, dignified path forward, helping individuals transition from broken relationships to new beginnings with grace and respect. Specializing in amicable divorce, mediation, and divorce planning, Farrah provides guidance and support, ensuring each client can navigate this challenging phase with dignity and peace of mind. Holding certifications in Advanced Civil and Advanced Family Mediation, Farrah is dedicated to preserving relationships where possible and empowering individuals to move forward positively. [Learn more about Farrah Rose and her services here](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose-montgomery-county-texas-family-law-mediation/). *As a non-attorney mediator, my services offer a cost-effective alternative, potentially saving you thousands of dollars. In the event legal representation is requested or required, I can provide referrals to qualified attorneys.* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Mediation **Tags:** divorce mediation, texas --- ### [Self-Love during Separation: Nurturing Yourself through Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/self-love-during-separation-nurturing-yourself-through-divorce/) **Published:** February 14, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** Living through a divorce can feel like a horrible parody of a Hallmark movie, especially during February. All around are images of hearts and flowers and happy couples, and here you are... **Content:** Living through a divorce can feel like a horrible parody of a Hallmark movie, *especially during February*. All around are images of hearts and flowers and happy couples, and here you are, ending all the things that the commercials are telling you that you should have. *You may even wonder if you made a mistake and should have tried harder or held out for more flowers and a box of chocolates.* **Before you give up and retire to some small fantasy community filled with calorie-free cinnamon buns, know that you’re not the first person to fall into the deadly Valentine’s Day trap.** You can recover your balance in this world by loving yourself and doing the things the imaginary citizens of the fantasy village would do to cheer you up. 1\. **Say goodbye.** One reason it’s hard to get over a divorce is simply because you haven’t really let go yet. Think of a divorce as moving out of a house. You’ve packed up, loaded the moving van, and forwarded all your mail. Now you’re sitting in the driveway, looking up at the house. You must put the car in gear and drive away. Divorce is the same way. Letting go of a marriage is much harder. Are there things unfinished between you and your ex? Some things may need to stay undone for the sake of peace, but you’ll have to come to terms with those so you can move on. 2\. **Make some changes.** Speaking of moving, are you in a new place? Now is a good time to go through your old things and toss out old baggage. Get some new furniture if you can afford it, or new accent pieces if you can’t. If the separation left you with the house, now may be the time to rearrange some rooms. Turn that old bedroom into an office or craft room. Not only does this give you a new outlook on your old life, it gives you a chance to clean up. 3\. **Change your routine.** The quick euphoria you may have felt after the divorce quickly dissipates as you return to the same old grind of work and childcare and the rest of your daily routine. We like routines when things are bad because they let us put our minds on autopilot. But routines can be a trap, making us feel numb to our surroundings. Now is a good time to break that routine. Some things you must do on schedule, of course; but change up what you can. Take a walk before breakfast. Get away from your desk at lunch and go shopping for an hour. Give your kids a popcorn and movie night. Anything different and outside your usual habit. 4\. **Exercise.** You don’t need to make the gym a priority. But if you’re feeling in a rut, getting some fresh air is a must. Going outside and walking around the block is a big step up from sitting inside brooding. If you haven’t been feeling your best, chances are it’s because you stopped moving around. If health issues prevent you from vigorous exercise, look up some sedentary exercises online and begin with those. Better to walk around the living room than sit and curse the darkness. 5\. **Do something nice for yourself.** It’s easy nowadays to put off doing things for ourselves, with the excuse “I can’t afford it” or “I’ll get to that later.” The subtext of that is really “I don’t deserve it.” Self-care sounds so…selfish. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will? So do something nice for yourself that has no other purpose. Read a silly book. Watch pointless TV. Get your nails done. Visit a museum in the middle of the week. Don’t chide yourself with thoughts of all the other “important” things you could be doing. You are important. Take care of yourself. **Support Groups and Self-Care** It’s very easy to isolate after any major life event. Birth, death, divorce, all make us want to sit by ourselves and try to find ourselves again. Unfortunately, divorce is the one event where people often leave us alone. Things are better than they were in our parents’ time, but people recovering from the end of their marriage may still have to search for kind shoulders and understanding ears. *Support groups are not for everyone.* If you have a good network of friends, family, and maybe a therapist you already trust, you may not feel the need to open up to another group of people. Sometimes, though, your family and friends may not understand what you’re going through. Or you may be uncomfortable sharing your regrets about your divorce with them. In that case, a support group is a good place to be. If you have a therapist, they can usually point you in the right direction. If not, divorce support groups abound online and on social media. The family law attorney who handled your separation may have someone you can call. You should not give in to the desire to bottle up your thoughts and feelings. The important part of self-care, after all, is care. **Final Thoughts** Our [DWD Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) consist of therapists, attorneys, mediators, and counselors who understand what divorce means both during and after the separation. When you’re ready to move on, we can help you take the next steps forward. Divorce is never easy, and self-care is somehow more difficult, especially in our hustle-bustle society that wants you to “just get on with it.” ***The Providers at Divorce With Dignity won’t leave you at the courthouse door. We have the skills and the connections to help you carry on after the divorce and get yourself back into a comfortable place. When you need help, you can call on us.*** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Blog, Holidays **Tags:** blog, divorce journey, self-care, Valentine's Day --- ### [Nurturing Resilience: Integrating Emotional Support Practices with Mediation in Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/nurturing-resilience-integrating-emotional-support-practices-with-mediation-in-divorce/) **Published:** January 24, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** ##### **Written by Shilpa Kapoor, Psy.D., M.S., M.A. Divorce With Dignity – Contra Costa Provider** The decision to pursue a divorce is among the most challenging and emotionally taxing experiences an individual can face. As the owner of Divorce With Dignity – Contra Costa and a psychologist and trauma specialist, I have witnessed firsthand the complexity of emotions and logistical hurdles that individuals encounter during the divorce process. In response, my practice is dedicated to providing a comprehensive approach that combines mediation services with robust emotional support practices to foster a more compassionate, amicable, and holistic divorce journey for my clients. **Recognizing the Complexity of Divorce** Divorce, in its essence, is not merely the dissolution of a legal contract but the disentanglement of lives intricately woven together. It’s a process that encompasses emotional, legal, financial, and familial complexities. At my practice, we recognize the importance of understanding the divorce process and the need to maintain peace of mind amidst the storm of emotions. My primary goal is to ensure that my clients understand the legal facets of divorce while receiving professional expertise to handle their cases appropriately. This approach not only saves time, money, and frustration but also alleviates the anxiety that often accompanies the uncertainty of the legal system. **Embracing Uncomfortable Emotions** The cornerstone of my philosophy is an amicable divorce process. To achieve this, we acknowledge the myriad of uncomfortable emotions that individuals may experience throughout this journey. Loneliness, fear, worry, anger, grief, guilt, and helplessness are just some of the emotions that can surface. My approach involves creating a safe and supportive environment for clients to navigate and process these feelings. Through guided emotional support practices, we assist individuals in acknowledging and managing their emotions, fostering self-awareness, and encouraging healthy coping mechanisms. Self-care and self-compassion are integral components of my approach. Amid the turbulence of separation or divorce, individuals often neglect their well-being. We emphasize the importance of prioritizing self-care practices and extend the concept of self-compassion as a vital tool for healing. My aim is to guide individuals in fostering a nurturing relationship with themselves during and after this challenging period. **Empowerment through Emotional Resilience** Empowerment through emotional resilience is a core principle of my practice. We believe that processing emotions, developing healthy coping mechanisms, and building emotional resilience are essential for individuals to navigate divorce successfully. Strengthening feelings of empowerment aids in regaining a sense of control and stability during a time of significant life upheaval. Receiving and seeking support is an essential aspect of the healing process. Often, individuals undergoing divorce find it challenging to ask for help or accept support from others. My practice strives to create a safe and non-judgmental space where individuals feel comfortable seeking and receiving the support they need, whether from friends, family, support groups, or professional counseling. **Prioritizing Co-Parenting** Central to the post-divorce landscape is co-parenting, particularly when children are involved. My mediation services prioritize the development of collaborative co-parenting practices. We understand the significance of establishing healthy communication and cooperation between co-parents for the well-being of the children. By fostering an environment conducive to constructive dialogue and decision-making, we aim to mitigate conflict and create a foundation for effective co-parenting post-divorce. **Benefits of Integration** The amalgamation of emotional support practices with mediation services yields profound benefits for my clients. By facilitating a safe space for emotional expression, guiding individuals through self-care practices, and empowering them to seek support, we help my clients navigate the divorce process with resilience, dignity, and a sense of personal growth. In conclusion, divorce is a multifaceted process that requires a holistic approach encompassing emotional support, legal guidance, and practical solutions. At Divorce With Dignity – Contra Costa, my commitment is not only to offer professional mediation services but also to ensure that my clients receive the emotional support they need to navigate this challenging period. My aim is to empower individuals to emerge from divorce stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to embrace the possibilities of a new chapter in their lives. Through the integration of emotional support practices and mediation, we strive to nurture resilience, foster healing, and facilitate a path forward with dignity and grace. ***Disclaimer*** *I’ve been facilitating amicable divorces for my clients through the use of mediation. By creating a supportive environment, I enable couples to openly discuss their concerns and collaboratively reach agreements that are mutually beneficial for both parties and their families. As a non-attorney mediator, my services offer a cost-effective alternative, potentially saving you thousands of dollars. In the event legal representation is required, I can provide referrals to qualified attorneys.* ### \*\*\* ### **About the Author** **Shilpa Kapoor, Psy.D., M.S., M.A.** Licensed Clinical Psychologist, CA, NY, KS Learn more about Shilpa and **Divorce With Dignity – Contra Costa** by visiting her **[web page](https://dwdignity.com/shilpa-kapoor/)**. ![](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Shilpa-Kapoor-Web-Page-300x300.png) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** divorce mediation, divorce therapy, self-care --- ### [Beyond Courtrooms: Exploring the Benefits of an “Amicable Divorce”](https://dwdignity.com/beyond-courtrooms-exploring-the-benefits-of-an-amicable-divorce/) **Published:** January 16, 2024 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Nobody wants to get a divorce. In situations when it becomes inevitable, it’s much better to have one where everyone gets what they want with a minimum of pain and arguing and can walk away without going back to court over and over again. The solution is an *amicable divorce*. Sometimes known as an “uncontested” divorce or simple divorce, this divorce process lets both parties divide their property, discuss child support and visitation, and make other critical decisions themselves, without the stress and cost of litigation. **Overview of amicable divorce** An amicable divorce resembles a traditional divorce in some ways. There is still a petition and a response. The parties must still file financial disclosures if required by their state. Parties may need to appear in court for the judgment. However, in many other ways it is quite different. In amicable divorce, the parties agree they will work out all disputes and agreements among themselves. They can agree to disregard state regulations about property division and divide things in the way that best suits their needs. For instance, in a community property state, all marital property belongs to both parties, and the court divides it equally between them. In an amicable divorce, the couple may divide their property however they like, as long as both are satisfied. The only time a couple may have to seek court approval is in child support. Many states have minimum guidelines for child support, and the judge cannot go below those figures. However, couples can agree to deviate as long as the children are adequately provided for. During an amicable divorce, difficulties are managed with the assistance of a mediator. Like a judge, a mediator is neutral. Unlike a judge, a mediator is not there to decide which party should “win.” The mediator helps the parties come to a reasonable solution and see any flaws or sticking points. A mediator may also suggest alternatives that the couple may not have thought of and point out alternatives that may seem feasible. **How it differs from traditional litigation** Traditional litigation is sometimes called “adversarial” litigation. The parties meet in court, and one side tries to beat the other. It resembles any other court case, where one side must be “right” and the other must be “wrong.” This pits the couple against each other, and leads to fights over everything, right down to household items and child custody dates. During traditional litigation, any disputes must be settled by the judge. For instance, the parties must exchange tax returns and bank statements, even if they have the same sets of paperwork. This frustrates both parties and can lead to irritation as both parties want to know why they must give the other side paperwork they already have. If one side refuses to produce their documents, the other must petition the judge for an order to compel production. The judge sets a hearing on the motion, and the parties come to court to argue about whether the request is reasonable or not. After the hearing, the judge may make a decision immediately, or issue an order later. This process can take weeks or even months. While you wait, you and your spouse will continue to be frustrated and angry at each other and the process. In an amicable divorce, the parties agree in advance that any disputes will be negotiated among themselves. If one party does not have the requested documents, or cannot produce them, the spouses (and their attorneys, if applicable) will talk the matter over and decide whether the material is necessary to the case. Amicable divorce can also be faster than a traditional divorce. Since the process lets parties make informal agreements to documentary evidence, witness statements, and financial information, there’s no need to wait on court hearings. Rather than waiting for the next court date—which could be three months away—parties can move quickly to a resolution. Couples who use amicable divorce find that their post-divorce relationship is better as well. Since they’re both equally involved in the decision-making process, both parties are invested in making things work. This differs from being told what to do by an authoritative judge. Sometimes it’s the thought of being ordered to comply that makes people angry, and being able to decide for themselves makes all the difference. **Some Caveats** Amicable divorce will only succeed if both parties want it to. Both parties (their attorneys, if applicable) and their mediator must be committed to the process, and enter into the procedure in good faith. Agreeing to share documents, testimony, and evidence can only work when there is trust between the parties. Amicable divorce is *not* recommended in cases where: - There is or has been domestic violence - There are allegations of child abuse or threats of child abduction - One or both parties allege there has been financial fraud - Either party has had substance abuse or mental health issues Not all amicable divorces require attorneys. If the mediation process fails, the parties may need litigation attorneys if they have not had attorneys during the mediation. It’s a good idea to have an independent attorney review any settlement agreement before it is submitted to the court, but it is not required. **Final Thoughts** The [DWD Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) consist of therapists, attorneys, mediators, independent paralegals, and legal document assistants understand how divorce can pull a family to pieces even when the spouses want to separate peacefully. We’re here to help make the transition as easy as possible. Our Providers help couples through the difficult steps of a dissolution and make it out the other side. When it’s time to make the transition from one couple to two people, we’re here to help. We have the skills you and your family need for a successful amicable divorce. Let us help you and yours make their decisions without turning it into a courtroom battlefield. Our Providers are here to turn traditional litigation into an amicable situation for all parties. Disclaimer: *The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution **Tags:** amicable divorce --- ### [First Holiday After Divorce: Ways to Make it Work](https://dwdignity.com/first-holiday-after-divorce-ways-to-make-it-work/) **Published:** December 13, 2023 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Holidays are often a stressful time, even when things are running smoothly. There are travel plans to make, winter breaks from school to coordinate, and parties to attend (or avoid). It can be twice as difficult when, for the first time, you find yourself looking at a visitation schedule and wondering how you can get through the first holiday since your divorce was finalized. There’s no perfect solution for everyone. Your solution has to be your own, and things can happen even for the best-laid plans. But if you take time and don’t panic, there’s no reason this holiday can’t be as good or even better than all the ones before. **Look at Your Custody Agreement** Almost every state requires a custody agreement and visitation schedule in place before the divorce is finalized. It should include holiday arrangements, already worked out between you and your former spouse. Things are probably different now that you’re looking at the actual holidays instead of a calendar in your attorney’s office or the courtroom. The usual agreement has parents alternating Christmas every other year, or splitting the day if they live close enough to do so. Part of the holiday schedule may revolve around children’s school schedules and when their winter holidays fall. Review the agreement now and see how your holidays will work out. **Be Realistic About This Year** The first holiday season after your divorce will be difficult, no matter how long ago it was. Holidays bring up positive emotions and feelings of nostalgia. You may want to remake your holidays like they were before the divorce, and feel unhappy when things don’t work out as planned. Know in advance that it isn’t going to be the same as last year, and be prepared for a mix of feelings, good and bad. That’s normal. When you hit a bump in the road, as you inevitably will, remind yourself that it’s just part of the ordinary holiday routine, not a disaster. Enjoy things as they come. **Kids First** If you have children, be extra sure to keep them in the front of things. All the memories and nostalgia you may have for the holidays are twice as sharp for them, because they don’t have as many. Little things like decorating your home or going shopping on specific days “just like last year” mean more to them. Take time to make their memories special. If you get along at all with your former spouse, put aside your differences to make holiday plans that include both of you. If you still live in the same town, try to spend at least one day together if you can. If you cannot do so peacefully, then make sure both of you get time with the kids, even if your visitation schedule doesn’t say you “have to.” Nothing gives the children holiday cheer like both parents at a school event. **Start New Holiday Traditions** Although you want the kids to have their cherished traditions, now is a good time to start some new ones. Think of something you always wanted to do over the holidays, and try it out. Most towns have crafts fairs or holiday parades to attend, or local holiday plays. Make homemade crafts and hand them out at a homeless shelter. Anything that can be a different tradition that is especially your own. If you don’t have children, or you’re going to be alone over the holidays, you can still create your own tradition. Meet with friends who are also by themselves and want someone to spend time with. Being alone over the holidays isn’t as unique as it should be. There are many people who need others during the long holiday season, and you can reach out to them too. **Take Care of Yourself** The holidays are emotional times. Everywhere you look, you’re pummeled with images of joy and cheer, visiting families and happy memories. It’s stressful enough for people without the baggage of a recent divorce. You can’t be blamed if you see an ad for a Hallmark movie and feel like bursting into tears. Sometimes, self-care means locking yourself in your bedroom with a cup of cocoa and your fuzzy bathrobe and having a good cry. Or it means getting out in the brisk fall air and taking a walk around the block. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. Get plenty of sleep and exercise. Try to have healthy meals between office parties and delicious snacks left in the break room. If you feel truly depressed, don’t wait until after the holidays to get professional help. **When Two Become One Become Three (or More)** If you’ve become a blended family, or your ex-spouse has one, the tips above apply to your new mix of spouses, children, and possible in-laws. Any new family members have their own holiday traditions and plans, and your new spouse may have their own visitation schedule to deal with. Sitting everyone down to discuss plans is always better than just hoping it all works out. Blended families do better when they discuss plans as a group: what they want to do, what they don’t want to do, and when they absolutely have to be somewhere. As always, kids first, family second—and take time to take care of yourself and your new spouse! **Final Thoughts** The holidays are upon us, and you may not be feeling especially cheerful in your first season after a divorce. That’s where the [DWD Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) can help. We know that things are extra tough when you’re juggling the usual holiday stressors plus the emotional issues that go along with a new divorce or a blended family. If you need some emotional or mental support, let us know. We can help you whether you need assistance talking to your children, a former spouse, or just want to talk about your own emotional turmoil. Our Providers can help you through the holiday season and into a Happy New Year. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Holidays, Life After Divorce --- ### [Having a Thankful Thanksgiving](https://dwdignity.com/having-a-thankful-thanksgiving/) **Published:** November 14, 2023 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Holidays are hard for anyone having relationship troubles. If you divorced in the past year, this will be the first major holiday to navigate without your former spouse. You may have custody orders to deal with, and for the first time, maybe you’re alone when everyone else is feasting and laughing. If you’re considering separation, Thanksgiving is the first of the tension-filled days when anger erupts over the slightest detail. Perhaps family members arrive unaware of the troubles between you and your spouse, and an innocent remark leads to shouts and tears. Or you feel you must put on a smiling front “for the children” resulting in a brittle silence at the table. Don’t let holiday stress add to your marital tension. Take time to step back and plan your Thanksgiving holiday carefully and you and your family can get through with minimal friction. No matter what your situation, there’s no need to let divorce interfere with your turkey and pumpkin pie. **If You’re Thinking of Divorce** Despite the happy endings on Hallmark movies, couples thinking of divorce seldom rekindle the passion and solve all their problems during the holidays. It’s best if you don’t imagine a traditional Thanksgiving “just like you used to have” will fix everything. If you and your spouse can manage a nice Thanksgiving, that’s great! Do that and enjoy it, but be wary of false hopes and holiday glow. On the flip side, remember that divorce takes a long time to file and finalize. Depending on your state, it may take several months for a final judgment, so filing before the holidays will not resolve anything. At best, you’ll have things in process, but you won’t have the final order before Thanksgiving dinner arrives. Think about how your relatives may respond. Every family has a relative who will do their best to fix your problems, assure you that all you need is to “talk things out,” or refer you to their lawyer who will make sure that cheating so-and-so doesn’t get a dime. You and your spouse do not need the extra headaches right now. You may want support from family and friends but think carefully about when and how you announce your decision. If you know you and your spouse will not be able to maintain civility over the holiday, which happens in some toxic or abusive marriages, consider speaking with a family counselor or mediator right away. Although divorce mediation is usually carried out when couples are actually divorcing, getting you and your family through the holidays may be a critical part of the divorce process. **If You Are Divorced** How you get through the holidays depends on whether you have children and your custody orders. Thanksgiving is the first test of many parents’ custody and visitation order. Anger, depression, and confusion are common reactions to the holidays, with or without divorce added to the mix. The first thing to remind yourself is that your emotions are normal. Most experts recommend creating new post-divorce traditions. Whatever your “old” Thanksgiving traditions were, they will not be the same if a parent is not there, if a new spouse is part of the picture, or the kids have to spend half a day with one parent in a different location. Try something new for Thanksgiving or mingle your new tradition with your old. If the split was amicable, consider inviting your former spouse to dinner. One word of advice, do this only if both of you can sit together for the course of the day or evening and be courteous. If either of you know you cannot, and especially if the divorce was recent, do not do this. A better option would be sending the kids over with a big plate of Thanksgiving dinner when its your spouse’s turn for visitation. When you find yourself alone during the Thanksgiving weekend, don’t brood or mope, however tempting it may be. Find ways to enjoy being alone. Treat yourself to a nice meal out. Go to a movie or an art show. Make time to see old friends. Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on gratitude, so look for reasons to enjoy the season. **Some Things to Avoid** If you’re having marital difficulties during the Thanksgiving season, there are a few things to avoid. Don’t drink or use narcotics to excess. Don’t make grandiose holiday plans that add to your stress level. And don’t make snap decisions during the holiday season. Whatever you were planning before the holidays should remain your default decision until after you’ve had time to discuss things with a mediator or divorce attorney after the holidays. If you do begin your divorce during the holidays, communicate with your children. Many parents opt to keep kids in the dark, believing they are protecting them or wanting to give the kids “one last holiday.” Do not do this. Your children will realize something is wrong. It’s always better to explain what’s going on. Explain the divorce in a manner that does not involve the holiday. Don’t have your conversation around a decorated table over the remains of the turkey dinner. Instead, use a different room or another location. Keep the discussion separate from the holiday, so the kids don’t have the memory linked with their holiday memories. That way, the next year’s Thanksgiving won’t have the same associations. **Final Thoughts** Thanksgiving can be a wonderful time, the start of the holidays and the beginning of the winter season. It is also a stress-filled time by itself, with many things to plan and obligations to fulfill. For people with marital stress, it can be a turkey-strewn minefield with little to be grateful for. The [DWD Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) are here to help. Our mediators, attorneys, and legal professionals can help you navigate this stressful time without stepping on any of those turkeys. Whatever your final decision may be, we will be here while you finish cooking and have dinner. [Call us when you need to talk](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Holidays **Tags:** amicable divorce, Divorce And Holidays --- ### [Making Your Way Through The Halloween Maze](https://dwdignity.com/making-your-way-through-the-halloween-maze/) **Published:** October 16, 2023 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Halloween is coming up! For most parents, the biggest fear is that the kids will eat too much candy and be too wound up to sleep. For some parents, they’ll be worrying about letting a child go out with the non-custodial parent. For others, it may be time to let their child go off alone with friends for a Halloween party. Holidays don’t need to be frightening, even when they come with masks and ghosts and haunted houses. Just like mazes at the theme park, there’s a path through the confusion that’s easy to follow and not frightening at all. **Step One: The Map** Some custody and visitation agreements have already determined how holidays get split up: one parent gets even years, and one parent gets odd years. This can work when your child is young or if Halloween is not a major holiday for the family. But what if your child wants to go trick-or-treating with both parents? What happens when an older child wants to try the haunted maze at the amusement park? The first step in navigating any maze is knowing where you’re heading. Planning ahead for any event is essential for getting safely to and through your destination. Part of a Halloween plan (or any holiday plan) includes considering what everyone wants out of the event. You may know what you want, but there are others involved. Making a map requires input from everyone on the trip. Mazes are deceptive. They have many openings and side passages that lead nowhere. A journey through a maze needs everyone to cooperate and—most importantly—communicate if the trip is to be a success. **Step Two: The Plan** Most holidays are about family. Halloween is a holiday for children. Even more than most days, kids like dressing up like princesses and superheroes and parading for the approval of family and friends. When parents no longer live together, it puts a strain on children who want their parents to see them. Parents can negotiate this maze the same way they negotiated their divorce, by remembering this is about the children. Instead of plunging into the darkness and hoping for the best, you can grab a flashlight and a rope and make some plans. This means talking things over with your former spouse. If your separation was amicable, you might already have thought about how you would handle holidays. Even if you haven’t, now is a good time to start. Communication is the best way to avoid getting lost in a tangle of competing plans and maps. Some ideas for drawing your map: - Ask your ex what they want to do for the holiday. Offer a range of options. If there will be a Halloween parade, let your ex know the date. Be proactive: If you know you and your ex can’t sit together, volunteer to save seats on the other side of the street, or in another row so your child will see both of you. - If you and your ex are still friendly, make it a joint event. Agree to go trick-or-treating together, no matter whose night it is with the children. If you can’t or won’t be able to spend that much time together, split the time. Let the other parent take the children to a different event the day before or after the official Halloween festivities. - Get some help. If things are not good between you and your former spouse, but you want your child to have a happy Halloween, seek some professional guidance. [Mediators](https://dwdignity.com/category/mediation/) can give you some tips on how to approach the situation, and even arrange a session to discuss things in a neutral setting. Having a plan is essential when setting out through a mystifying maze. You and your ex can do things right by talking things over like adults making plans for their child. Once you have a map, you’re ready to take the next steps into the maze with your little goblin. **Step Three: The Journey** No matter what you, your child, and your former spouse decide, you will arrive at the gates of the Halloween maze. If you’ve discussed your plan and made your map, you can navigate the maze with ease. You should not fear the monsters and ghosts that lurk within. You can all enjoy a night, if not as a happy family, at least as two parents seeing their child have a good time. Other considerations for parents at the Halloween time of year: - If a parent is taking the kids out for trick-or-treating (or trunk-or-treating), they should give the other parent a courtesy call upon their return home, no matter who’s turn it is for visitation. This assures everyone that all parties got home safely. - Parents of teenagers should agree on pickup times and locations, no matter who the child is supposed to be with that week. The child should have a safe and reliable contact and pickup if something happens. - Any disagreements over whether children are “too young” to go to a Halloween party by themselves must be resolved before the date of the party. - If you will be unavailable for the holiday, be sure your former spouse is aware of it before the holiday. Do not leave your child caught between two adults who both wanted to have their own Halloween bash. **Final Thoughts** Halloween is the start of the holiday season. Many of the suggestions offered here will be useful as the seasons progress. If you and your former spouse and the rest of your family keep them in mind while candy is eaten and pumpkins are carved, you’ll be in better shape as you prepare to stuff turkeys and deck the halls. If you want some help drawing your Halloween maze map, [reach out to a DWD Provider today.](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) Many of our Providers know the difficulties of choosing between a Halloween parade or a night home with the candy bucket. They can help with discussions between you, your former spouse, and a child who wants to be Spider-Man. *The author of this website and its posts is not an attorney, accountant, or licensed therapist and the information contained on this page and its posts should not be considered legal, accounting, or mental health advice. Please do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney, accountant, or licensed mental health professional if you have any questions.* ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Co-Parenting, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce --- ### [When the Kids are Gone…Thinking About Yourselves](https://dwdignity.com/when-the-kids-are-gonethinking-about-yourselves/) **Published:** September 14, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Summers are full of family, friends, and kids. You and your spouse may have noticed you were having trouble, but there wasn’t time to really think about it; there were too many other things going on. Arguments and anger got pushed aside for vacations and travel. Now the kids are back at school, relatives have gone home, but the tension is still there. *Now what?* **Couples Therapy** If both of you agree that something is wrong and you want to hold your marriage together, now is the time to work on keeping your marriage strong. Couples therapy focuses on both of you without laying blame. Marriage is a joint effort, and if something is wrong, it’s something both of you can help repair. Just because you love each other and want your marriage to succeed doesn’t mean you can identify the weak spots. Just as you’d need a mechanic to help troubleshoot the mysterious sound in your car, you need a therapist to help uncover the sticky areas in your marriage. **Family Counseling** Children are part of your marriage too. Some couples disagree on how to manage unruly teens. Sometimes children have their own issues and parents act out their concerns on one another. A family counselor helps everyone work through their difficulties without pointing fingers at anyone. If a child is having trouble at school, the family needs to pull together, not take it out on each other. If a child is involved, the school counselor may be part of your therapy group. Children can be a source of family stress without anyone realizing it. Tools such as an education plan can be useful to help your child cope with whatever the problem is and ensure the family stress is kept to a minimum. **Family Mediation** Sometimes the source of stress and anger has gone beyond therapy. Some grievances run too deep to be talked out — or they involve people outside the immediate family. For instance, a spouse has been caught cheating or gambling away the family’s finances. If you’re angry but not quite ready for divorce (or unsure whether you are), mediation may be a good option. Mediation can be the first stage of a divorce or the last step in one. It is a chance for couples to sit down with a neutral third party, discuss the problem, and make reasonable suggestions to resolve the issues. Mediation only works when all parties are willing and able to deal fairly with one another and be honest with the mediator. It is possible to resolve deep, painful issues with mediation, but everyone must be truly motivated to do so. **Is it Time for Divorce?** If things have gone too far and the pain is just too deep to resolve—or if one party cannot or will not agree to pursue other avenues—then the next step could be divorce. When there are children involved, most people agree that a divorce should be as amicable as possible. No matter what has gone on between you and your spouse, your children deserve the kindest separation you can give them. There are ways for even the angriest of spouses to meet halfway and divorce peacefully. Now is the time to step back and consider both yourself and the kids on their way home from school. **Separation – When You’re Just Not Sure** A *legal separation* or *trial separation* is an approach used by some couples, either for religious reasons or because they’re just not sure they really want a divorce. In some states, a divorce cannot be granted until a couple has lived apart (separated). Whichever is true for you, a separation is similar to a divorce in many ways and should be handled with care. You and your spouse will live apart, and legally you’ll have to arrange child custody and visitation. Sometimes, that’s enough for couples to resolve their problems. Once one person has left the house and the kids are taken care of, the couple may be able to co-exist quite amicably. The only thing they cannot do legally is remarry. Separation has other drawbacks. You and your spouse are still legally a couple, so bank accounts, insurance policies, deeds, and other legal documents must be dealt with. And of course, if whatever issues existed before the separation are still there, it may be best to make the final break. **When Divorce is Best** Staying together “for the sake of the children” means that when the children are finally gone, the couple has invested twenty years or more in a home, a family, and whatever negative emotions they have kept repressed all that time. With the kids gone, those emotions come out, and not usually for the best. What might have been an amicable divorce twenty years ago is now likely anything but. If you and your spouse can agree to disagree now, your divorce may be less unpleasant than *toughing it out* and pretending all is well until the last child graduates from college. Your children may have memories of parents who were present at school events and weekend sports instead of smoldering silences and fights late at night. *Little pitchers have big ears*, as they say, and your kids know exactly what’s going on, even if they don’t say anything – and the impacts can (and often do) last a lifetime. **The Right Way is Often the Easy Way** Many of the methods meant for salvaging a marriage can also ease your transition out of a marriage. You may learn during a counseling session that you’re just not meant to be in your marriage—and that’s okay. Your counselor or therapist can help you come to the realization that the best thing for everyone is not to “make it work” but to do the right thing for your family. If you’re in a difficult relationship with your spouse, [reach out to a DWD provider today.](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) Many of our Providers have been where you are now. They can relate to what you’re going through, and they’re here to help no matter what you decide to do. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Is It Time To Divorce? --- ### [How To Help Your Child Adjust To Life After Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-help-your-child-adjust-to-life-after-divorce/) **Published:** August 29, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** As an adult, picking yourself up after a divorce can be challenging, even if you’re excited about the prospect of a fresh start. As such, it’s important to reflect on how this change can impact your child so that you’re able to provide them with the best possible support moving forward. After all, while a divorce may be the best move for the entire family, that’s not to say your child may not feel overwhelmed, angry, or sad during this time. This, in turn, can spur a rapid change in their behavior. In fact, a recent study found that “[there is a 16% increase in the risk of behavior problems if the child is between 7 and 14 years old when their parents divorce](https://www.verywellfamily.com/children-of-divorce-in-america-statistics-12703904). However, you can minimize these behavioral changes by helping your child find ways to adjust to life after their parent’s divorce. **Let their teachers know.** While you do not have to share the details of your divorce with **anyone**, it’s important that you let your child’s teacher know you are going through a divorce. There are many reasons for this. Firstly, it explains any sudden changes in your child’s behavior, such as a drop in the quality of their work, missed homework, or general misbehavior. As such, their teacher will then be able to put certain accommodations in place to support them. For example, they may be willing to extend deadlines on certain projects. Secondly, if you are currently working through a custody agreement, this information should also be conveyed to your child’s school. This way, they’ll know who is (and who isn’t) allowed to pick your child up from school. **Discuss childcare arrangements with them.** [Co-parenting ](https://dwdignity.com/divorced-parents-minimizing-conflicts-in-shared-custody/)can be tough on all parties, especially in the early stages of divorce when you haven’t quite yet settled into a routine. However, one way in which you can make this easier for your child is by talking about your co-parenting plans with them. This way, they understand what is happening and do not feel as though they are simply being shipped from one house to the other each weekend. You should also work to put together a set routine, which can help your child feel more grounded when living in two separate homes. This way, they know what to expect out of each day! **Consider therapy.** If you’ve noticed that your child is struggling to adjust after your divorce, you may want to look into [therapy](https://dwdignity.com/the-role-of-therapy-and-counselling-when-going-through-a-divorce/). This will help them to find a healthy outlet for their emotions, and they may find it easier to open up to a ‘stranger’ or professional than they would their parents, especially if they are a teenager. Alternatively, you could look into support groups for children of divorce. This will allow your child to connect with people who understand exactly what they are going through and how they are feeling. This companionship will make it easier for them to navigate their way through the next few months or years. **Focus on having fun.** If your child is having a hard time, it’s also important that you find ways to brighten their day. After all, [doing something fun ](https://dwdignity.com/focus-on-family-five-fun-things-to-do-with-your-kids-during-a-divorce/)can take their mind off the divorce and show them that there’s still a lot to look forward to. For example, you could invite their friends around for dinner, arrange a playdate, or head on a fun day out! If you’re a parent going through a divorce and want to ensure the best interests of your child are protected, please do not hesitate t[o get in touch today](https://dwdignity.com/contact/)! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Co-Parenting, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, child custody, child support, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Focus on Family: Five fun things to do with your kids during a divorce](https://dwdignity.com/focus-on-family-five-fun-things-to-do-with-your-kids-during-a-divorce/) **Published:** August 8, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** August is *Family Fun Month,* a reminder to spend quality time with your family during the golden hour of summer – before the chaos of regular school-time life ensues. Though during the divorce process, this goal may *feel* nearly impossible to achieve, this quality time together and focus on your children can make all the difference for them. With so much of the focus on the separation and the parent’s emotions, children can often feel lost and forgotten. Taking a little time to play and laugh together can have positive and lasting impacts on both you and your children – and provide some much-needed relief from the transition stressors. Families come in all shapes and sizes – and whether you’re becoming a single parent or part of a blended family – there’s a lot to celebrate during Family Fun Month – and spending quality time with your children will show them that you will be there for them no matter what shifts take place. With that in mind, here are five fun things you can do with your child during a divorce! ### **1. Spend Time In Nature.** Whether you go for a hike or a walk around your local park, there are many benefits to spending more time in the great outdoors. For example, “[multiple studies have found positive associations between children spending time in nature and mental health](https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-021-11622-x).” As a result, these activities can be particularly beneficial for children experiencing divorce, as they may be dealing with many complicated emotions during this time. Spending time in nature can help them process everything happening and their feelings. As you’re spending this time together, it can also mean you’re on hand to answer any questions they might have, which can alleviate some of their concerns and anxieties. ### **2. Go To The Movies.** Going to the cinema (or hosting your own at-home movie night) is another great way to have fun together as a family during the divorce process. This is because it serves as a great form of escapism. For a few hours, everyone can leave behind their stress and worries in favor of having fun! As such, it’s the perfect activity to participate in when your children feel overwhelmed. ### **3. Get Creative.** Doing something creative, such as scrapbooking, painting, or drawing, can once again provide your child with a healthy outlet for their emotions. For example, they may be able to convey their emotions more clearly through art than they can with their words. As such, they may come away from your arts and crafts sessions with a feeling of relief – as they can get something off their chest they would otherwise have been keeping to themselves. Beyond this, arts & crafts sessions are a great, inexpensive way to spend time together! ### **4. Do Something Sporty.** Various studies have found that participating in sporting activities can also help children cope with the stressors of a divorce. For example, if they’re part of a local or school team, their practices allow them to get out of the house and away from the stress. They’re also surrounded by teammates who will support them when things get tough. However, participating in sporting activities together can also be beneficial. For example, it allows everyone to release any pent-up energy and emotions. Also, it shows that you can still have a lot of fun together in the face of significant lifestyle changes. ### **5. Put them in Charge Of The Day.** During the divorce process, it’s normal for children to feel overwhelmed by changes they have no control over. As a result, putting them in charge and letting them plan a day out or activity for the family can help them regain a sense of control. Beyond this, it’s a simple way to put a smile on their face! ### **Final Thoughts.** In short, it is possible and perhaps especially important to celebrate Family Fun Month when going through a divorce – as a change in your marital status does not change the fact that you are a family who loves and cares for each other! At Divorce With Dignity, we make the divorce process easier for everyone involved by ensuring that yourself and your partner can part ways peacefully and respectfully. If you’d like to learn more, please do not hesitate to[ get in touch today. ](https://dwdignity.com/contact/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Co-Parenting, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, child custody, child support, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [How To Make Divorce ‘Easier’ On Your Children](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-make-divorce-easier-on-your-children/) **Published:** July 26, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** July is National Child-Centred Divorce Month, which means it is the perfect time to delve into the ways in which you can protect and care for your child during the divorce process. To begin with, of course, it’s important to challenge the idea that staying together for the sake of your kids is something that struggling couples *should* do. In fact, a recent study found that “[82% of children would rather their parents were happy apart than unhappy together.](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/22/children-divorce-resolution-survey-rather-parents-separate)” After all, staying in an unhappy marriage could mean that you’re exposing your child to frequent arguments, household tensions, and more – whereas a divorce would create a healthier environment for all involved. With that in mind, here are some simple ways in which you can make divorce easier for your children. ### **Tell them what is happening.** [Talking to your children about your upcoming divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-talk-to-your-children-about-your-upcoming-divorce/) means that they are not left in the dark or overwhelmed when they begin to notice changes at home. By discussing the situation with them, they will have a clearer understanding of what is happening and be better equipped to handle the upcoming weeks and months. When speaking about divorce with your children, you should: - Use simple, straightforward terms. - Give them time to ask questions. - Let them know of any changes that are happening ahead of time. - Provide them with access to resources (books on divorce, etc). ### **Don’t argue in front of your children.** A lot of negative emotions can be brought up during the divorce process, which could mean that you find yourself arguing with your spouse with increasing frequency. While you should always try to remain calm and respectful, if you’re having difficult conversations – you must ensure they do not happen in front of your children. It’s not advisable to expose your child to arguments as it could cause them to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious. Instead, it’s best to bring up difficult topics when meeting with a divorce mediator or when both parents are alone. ### **Don’t encourage them to pick sides.** Encouraging your children to ‘pick sides’ during the divorce process can leave your children in a difficult position. After all, they will likely be worried about disappointing *either* parent, making it hard for them to figure out where they stand. As a result, you mustn’t play the blame game in front of your kids or ask them to pick a side. Any conversations that delve into the intricacies of your divorce are not conversations your children need to be a part of. ### **Opt for a peaceful divorce.** Working to part ways with your partner peacefully and respectfully will make the process easier for everyone involved – children included. This is because they will not see their parents “going after” each other in court, but rather working amicably to build a better future for the entire family unit. This is a great example to set for young people and could change how they navigate their relationships in the future. Furthermore, peaceful divorces often take less time. This means you can work to make the transition as smooth as possible for your children, making it easier for them to adapt to the changes that come with their parent’s divorce. ### **Show them that you’re still a family.** Opting for a peaceful divorce means you and your partner can still spend time together as long as you feel comfortable. As a result, this means that you can continue to spend time together as a family – whether you’re going for a day out or attending a gathering this family reunion month. This is a great way to show your children that white your family dynamics are changing, the things that really matter – such as the love you share for your children – will not change in the slightest. ### **Get in touch today.** If you’re about to go through a divorce and want to ensure that your child’s best interests are protected, [reach out to a DWD provider today.](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) Many of our talented providers are parents and divorcees, meaning we understand your unique situation and are on hand to help every step of the way. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Co-Parenting, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, child custody, child support, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Is Mediation Right for You?](https://dwdignity.com/is-mediation-right-for-you/) **Published:** July 14, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** We’ve often spoken about how many divorcing couples mistakenly believe their separation belongs in a courtroom. This is likely because each time we see a divorce in the media, we hear horror stories about drawn-out cases where couples argue about every shared asset and try to hurt each other as much as possible. However, the truth is, most divorces do not belong in the courtroom – and many difficult conversations can be made easier through mediation instead. This way, couples can part ways peacefully and respectfully. Not only does this give you greater peace of mind, but it also means that the costs associated with a divorce can be kept to a minimum! ### **Why should you consider divorce mediation?** Divorce mediation services: - Allow you to part ways with your ex-spouse peacefully and respectfully. - Can speed up the divorce process, giving you both the freedom to move on. - Ensure the best interests of **all** involved parties are respected and considered. In custody arrangements, this also includes the children. - Brings down the costs and stress of divorce. ### **Who should consider divorce mediation?** Divorce mediation services cater to those looking for a peaceful end to their relationship but still find it hard to agree on every last detail outright. For example, you may want to discuss things such as the division of assets or [child custody](https://dwdignity.com/divorced-parents-minimizing-conflicts-in-shared-custody/) in more detail with a neutral third party. ### **Does divorce mediation work?** To answer this question as *simply* as possible, yes. Divorce mediation works as it helps couples who may not always see eye to eye reach an agreement on complex topics in a calm, respectful manner. ### **How long does divorce mediation take?** According to a recent [study](https://www.topcounselingschools.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Divorce_Mediation.jpg), “the average mediation takes three to six months to finish, versus an average of two years for divorce litigation.” As a result, while this may still seem time-consuming, it considerably speeds up the overall divorce process. This is because fair decisions are made quickly, through the support of a mediator, instead of these conversations being dragged out for weeks or months on end. ### **How much does divorce mediation cost?** The exact cost of divorce mediation can vary, depending on how much support you require from your mediator and how long the process takes. However, this is often a more cost-effective solution than more traditional methods. ### **My approach to mediation.** I’ve been working as a DWD provider and divorce media for many years and have helped countless clients part ways peacefully and without bitterness. During my interactions with clients, I work hard to make them feel comfortable and relaxed. When I step in to aid negotiations or to veer conversations onto safer ground, I’m not coming from a place of judgment but rather understanding. After all, it’s easy for emotions to take over during these conversations, and everyone’s voice must be heard. Furthermore, I’ve been through many of the same challenges my clients face myself, so I have a unique understanding of your situation. As such, I pride myself on taking a down-to-earth, family-centric approach to mediation. This creates a relaxed atmosphere where everyone can feel at ease and get all their questions answered. We can then work together to reach a solution that benefits everyone involved If you’d like to learn more, please do not hesitate to get in touch today. Note: Every divorce is unique, so be sure to contact a legal professional for guidance on your unique situation. **About the Author:** [Tina Taylor](https://dwdignity.com/get-to-know-tina-taylor/), Esq. is a New Mexico-licensed attorney who owns the Divorce With Dignity-Greater Albuquerque office in New Mexico. She graduated from Law School at 50 in just two years and is currently a member of the New Mexico State Bar and the United States District Court Bar. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Emotional Effects of Divorce, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Reminder: Divorces Do Not Have To Take Place On The Battlefield.](https://dwdignity.com/reminder-divorces-do-not-have-to-take-place-on-the-battlefield/) **Published:** June 27, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** According to a recent study, [50% of marriages in the US end in divorce](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/#:~:text=Many%20people%20accept%20it%20as,of%20third%20marriages%20are%20dissolved). While this may seem to be a daunting figure, it’s actually a positive reflection of our ability to advocate for ourselves and pursue happiness over remaining in a relationship that no longer serves us. However, despite this, many people are reluctant to get divorced as they fear the process will be drawn-out, expensive and fueled by negative emotions between the divorcing parties. Fortunately, this does not have to be the case. In fact, divorcing your partner does not have to become a battleground where you compete to see who comes out better in the end – it *can* be a process that is guided by mutual respect and compassion, especially if you pursue a peaceful divorce. ## What is a peaceful divorce? As the name suggests, a peaceful divorce is a divorce process that is guided by a sense of compassion, peace and understanding. Instead of each party hiring an attorney and going after your partner in court, you can work with an experienced family law Provider to work through any complexities, such as the division of assets, child-custody agreements, and completing and signing the paperwork. If you do have any issues about which you’re not in agreement, you and your spouse can work with a mediator to sort those out before proceeding. ## What are some benefits of a *peaceful* divorce? There are many benefits associated with pursuing a peaceful divorce. - **A ‘quicker’ process.** According to a recent [study](https://www.besinquelaw.com/how-long-does-an-uncontested-divorce-take/#:~:text=Contested%20Divorce%20Take%3F-,A%20contested%20divorce%20can%20take%20anywhere%20from%209%20months%20to,about%20three%20months%20to%20finalize.), a “contested divorce can take anywhere from 9 months to years before a judgement of divorce can be signed.” Conversely, an uncontested divorce can proceed much quicker, as there’s less back-and-forth between attorneys and parties. This gives you both the chance to start anew, sooner rather than later. - **Lower costs.** Peaceful divorces are usually more cost-effective, as they take up less time and resources. Furthermore, they’re often motivated by a shared sense of respect, which means you’re less likely to ‘go after’ your partner unfairly. - **Reduced stress.** Going through a divorce can be stressful, given that it’s a major life change. However, an experienced Provider who takes a resourced, holistic approach can help you to reduce stress and emotional upset by avoiding stress-inducing complications. - **The opportunity to maintain some kind of relationship outside of your divorce.** While you may never be best friends with your ex ever again, going through a peaceful divorce could help you to preserve your relationship and remain part of each other’s lives in some capacity. This is particularly important if you’re going to be co-parenting. In short, pursuing a peaceful divorce allows you to protect both your well-being and best interests moving forward, making the divorce process a lot less time-consuming and stressful for all involved, and allowing you to make peace with this transition. If you’d like to find out more, please do not hesitate to [get in touch with a Provider near you today](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). Many of our providers have themselves been through a divorce, so not only are they well-equipped to guide you through this process, but they also understand how difficult it can be to be in your situation and can put your mind at ease as you begin to move forward into the next stage of your life. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Navigating the Emotional Impact of Divorce on Children: Strategies for Parental Support](https://dwdignity.com/navigating-the-emotional-impact-of-divorce-on-children-strategies-for-parental-support/) **Published:** June 20, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** In our last blog, we touched upon the ways in which you can[ ensure that your children’s welfare is protected during the divorce process](https://dwdignity.com/childrens-awareness-month-the-divorce-process/). However, as June is Children’s Wellness Month, we thought we’d take this as an opportunity to further explore the emotional impact that divorce can have on children, alongside some support strategies you can put in place to protect them. #### **How are children impacted emotionally when their parents divorce?** There’s no telling ahead of time *how* your child will react to your divorce. After all, their responses could be influenced by a variety of factors, including their age, their understanding, and whether or not they’ve been exposed to divorce before. However, they may experience a combination of the following emotions: - Sadness - Anger/frustration - Disbelief - Anxiety - Stress During this time, it’s important that you let them know that their feelings are not only valid – but perfectly normal. This will make it easier for them to open up about how they are feeling without feeling ashamed or as though they have to cover it up for your benefit. #### **Strategies for Parental Support.** **Help them understand what is happening.** Even as adults, it’s hard to regulate our emotions when we struggle to make sense of what is happening around us. As a result, it’s important that you make a real effort to ensure your child is as informed as possible throughout the process. For example, you should: - [Break the news to them gently](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-talk-to-your-children-about-your-upcoming-divorce/) - Let them ask as many questions as they like (and answer honestly) - Discuss your plans moving forward (moving home, co-parenting, etc.) - Ask for their feedback and input - Read books, or watch TV shows about divorce **Consider therapy.** While you should make it clear that you’re always there to talk to your child during this time (and beyond), therapy can also be a useful tool. After all, “[seeing a specialist allows children to learn how to better regulate emotions and learn about the connection to their behavior, creating the opportunity to better control both healthy feelings and reactions](https://www.thechildtherapylist.com/the-benefits-of-child-therapy/).” **Have a clear co-parenting plan in place.** One of the biggest reasons why children deal with emotional turmoil during a divorce is because their family unit changes. They’re likely used to seeing both parents when they get back from school – and having one person suddenly missing from the home can lead to confusion, sadness, and even feelings of abandonment. As a result, you should work with your ex to put together an effective co-parenting plan. For example, children should know where they are staying and when so that they can be better prepared for the oncoming changes. You should also ensure that you communicate effectively with your partner and ensure that you speak of each other kindly (even if you don’t think your children are in earshot). After all, children are much more perceptive than you may think, and it’s important they don’t view the divorce as a point of further conflict between their parents – but rather a chance for everyone to get a fresh start. Many of our DWD providers are parents who have navigated the divorce process during their own lives. This means that not only are we on hand to help with all of the ‘technical’ sides of the divorce, such as paperwork, but we also understand what you’re going through. Get in touch with [a Provider near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) to find out more! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Children's Awareness Month & The Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/childrens-awareness-month-the-divorce-process/) **Published:** June 1, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** June is Children’s Awareness Month, a time when we are encouraged to talk openly about the issues that are impacting the well-being of our children, in order to support them. With so many parents worried about the potential impact their divorce could, will, or has had on their children, and so many children dealing with the ramifications of their parent’s divorce – or their parents’ unhealthy marriage – this is a good opportunity to explore this topic. According to one study, [nearly 50% of the married couples interviewed were **only** staying together because of their kids](https://swnsdigital.com/uk/2020/11/nearly-half-of-married-couples-are-only-staying-together-because-of-the-kids/#:~:text=Just%20under%20half%20). However, while divorce can be difficult for children, seeing their parents ignore each other, engage in constant conflict, or being deeply unhappy can have far more negative and long-lasting impacts on their mental health, relationships, and self-esteem, along with health and social problems. Therefore, it’s often better – for all parties involved – for parents in an unhealthy relationship to seek counseling (or alternative methods) or consider divorce – giving everyone a chance for a healthy home environment and an opportunity to move on and create a healthy home environment. With that in mind, here are some tips you can follow to protect your child’s well-being when navigating through a divorce as a family. ## **Use the power of mediation to your advantage.** One of the many reasons people choose to separate from their partners is that they cannot see eye to eye. This could make it more difficult to come to any form of decision – whether that relates to something simple, like what you’d like for dinner, or more complex issues. As a result, using a mediator to help you come to decisions during this time can be helpful – as it ensures the best interest of both parties (and therefore your children) are represented within the final outcome. For example, a mediator can help you develop an effective co-parenting plan. The more detailed your parenting plan, the easier it will be to find a system that works for not only yourself and your ex but your children too. It also means you can keep them up to date with what is happening so they know what to expect. This means they do not feel like they are simply being shipped from one parent’s house to the other, which can help them feel more relaxed and grounded. ## **Be a good role model.** It’s hard to describe the influence a parental figure has on a child. However, this quote from Bob Keeshan does a pretty good job: *“Parents are the ultimate role models for children.* *Every word, movement, and action has an effect.* *No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent.”* As such, one way you can help protect their emotional well-being – both as children **and** the adults they’ll become- is by setting a good example for them when it comes to prioritizing their well-being and happiness. Leaving an unhealthy relationship behind shows children they don’t have to settle for anything less than the best. As a result, you’re helping them to build a healthy understanding of love and values, which can become the very foundation upon which they build their relationships in the future. For example, many studies have found that “[children raised in fractious, volatile marriages or quiet, hostile households may have difficulties in managing emotions or may ignore problems.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/tech-support/202107/how-our-parents-marriages-shape-our-relationships)” Conversely, children raised by effective co-parenting are more emotionally balanced and are more equipped to handle complex social situations. ## **Encourage them to talk about how they are feeling.** Whether you’ve recently announced your plans to divorce or have been separated for some time, encouraging your children to speak openly and honestly about how they are feeling can also help to improve their well-being. This is because it stops them from bottling up their emotions, which is a skill that they can carry with them throughout the rest of their lives. After all, they will then be more equipped to deal with whatever challenges come their way in life! Encouraging your children to talk openly about how they are feeling can also help them to better understand the situation you are in while reinforcing that you’re still a family unit – meaning that you’ll always be there for each other. As such, it can be incredibly beneficial to have both parents there during this conversation. ## **Final Thoughts.** As a parent, your children will always be your priority, and going through a divorce will not change that. In fact, as mentioned previously, it can actually be a great way to show your children how to love and care for themselves – and others – moving forward. Many of our practitioners are parents themselves and are experienced in supporting families as they approach the topic of divorce. If you’d like more advice or would simply like to work alongside a legal professional who understands what you are going through, please do not hesitate to[ get in touch with a provider near you today. ](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Life After Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [How To Reinvent Yourself After Your Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-reinvent-yourself-after-your-divorce/) **Published:** May 24, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** “*Reinvention is not about discarding the past, but about crafting a better future from the lessons it taught you.”* When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it’s natural to attribute a lot of your character, personality, and self-worth to this relationship. As a result, it’s no wonder that so many people feel as though they do not know who they are outside of their relationship – which can make a divorce seem all that more fear-inducing. However, it’s important to remember that rediscovering or reinventing yourself after a divorce is actually a blessing – and not something to be afraid of. It allows you to learn from this life lesson, meaning you can grow into a stronger, more resilient person. It can also help you to avoid making the same mistakes again in the future or open new doors for you. As a result, you should not shy away from reinvention after a divorce. You may even want to make it your mission moving forward! With that in mind, here are some simple ways to reinvent yourself after a peaceful divorce. ### Take time to heal. Many people feel they have to get back on track with their life immediately after a divorce – which is simply not the case. Even if your relationship was over some time ago, you still need to heal – and there’s no actual timeframe for how long this *should* take. For example, you may feel ready to return to normalcy and even the dating world in a couple of weeks, or it could take a year. Either way, honor and work through your feelings instead of burying them away. One way you can achieve this goal is by relying on your support network, be that your friends, family, or even a licensed therapist. ### Step out of your comfort zone. When you are ready, stepping out of your comfort zone can also be instrumental in reinventing yourself. This is because it pushes you to expand your horizons in many different aspects of your life, whether you’re stepping into the world of online dating or picking up a new hobby. The challenges you present yourself with during this time will contribute to your growth – which means they can help change your outlook on life (and yourself) for the better. ### Give yourself a makeover. Every chick flick or romantic movie has that one scene where someone gives themselves a makeover after a breakup. And while it may seem like a cliche, it can actually be a fun way to reinvent yourself during this time. After all, “[in the same way that dressing up for that job interview can boost one’s confidence and composure, going through a breakup makeover can also help a person feel more poised, self-assured, attractive, desirable, assertive and so forth.](https://www.eonline.com/news/821662/post-breakup-makeovers-psychological-reasons-why-celebs-look-better-after-heartbreak)” ### Set new goals. Individual goals tend to blend into shared goals when you’re in a long-term relationship. For example, you may have set your sights on buying a new home. However, now you have the chance to set goals entirely centered around your well-being and happiness – which is something to celebrate. As a result, write down a list of everything you’d like to achieve within the next year. Remember, these do not need to be large-scale goals; smaller, more manageable ones are often better in this scenario, as they’re more achievable within a shorter timeframe. For example, you could set yourself some of the following: - Pick up a new hobby - Do some volunteering - Spend more time with friends - Go on a date - Step out of your comfort zone once a week Each time you tick a goal off your list, you’ll be buoyed with a sense of achievement and confidence that will surely bring a smile to your face. Furthermore, goal-setting also presents you with ample opportunities to reinvent yourself. If you’re ready to proceed with your divorce and discover a healthier, happier you – please do not hesitate to[ get in touch today. ](https://dwdignity.com/contact/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Life After Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Is Now A Good Time To Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/is-now-a-good-time-to-divorce/) **Published:** May 3, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** ``` Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash ``` *Is now a good time for a divorce*? It Is a question many people ask themselves upon realizing their relationship has run its course. However, the truth is, there’s never really an ideal time for divorce – as there will always be factors that could make you feel as though you need to stay in the relationship. For example, if you have children together, you may be worried about how their lives will be impacted by their parent’s separation. You may also have many shared assets that are difficult to divide, meaning you are unsure of your options moving forward. Another key factor that often influences decisions when it comes to force— is the costs involved – and, given that we are currently in a period of inflation, where the cost of just about everything is rising – many people believe that getting divorced is simply too expensive. ### **Is the cost of divorce rising?** A recent Forbes [article ](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/how-much-does-divorce-cost/)states, “the average cost for a divorce in 2023 is between $15,000 and $20,000.” This is a slight increase from pre-pandemic years, where the average was approximately $15,000. As such, it’s unsurprising that many studies have found that rising inflation rates often correlate with a decrease in divorces. In an attempt to cut costs, couples may be considering other alternatives, such as couples therapy or living separately without completing the formal proceedings. Inflation can also make it difficult when splitting assets or selling properties – as the housing market is also going through a tumultuous period, which could again influence your decision to get divorced. However, it’s important to note that your happiness should not come with a price tag. If you are in a relationship that no longer serves you, you must prioritize your well-being above all else. Furthermore, there are many ways in which you can work to lower the cost of your divorce. ### **How can I keep the cost of Divorce down?** Initiating a peaceful divorce process is one of the easiest ways to lower the cost of your divorce. This is because you can avoid heading into court, which not only comes with many additional costs but can also make the process last much longer too. During a [peaceful divorce process](https://dwdignity.com/achieve-a-peaceful-divorce-create-the-life-you-want/), your legal team will help you proceed with your divorce cost-effectively while prioritizing your well-being throughout. For example, they can initiate difficult conversations, such as those regarding the division of assets, making it easier to come to a mutually beneficial decision. By having an impartial third party present during these conversations, you can avoid the challenges and pitfalls usually associated with these decisions, therefore protecting the interests of both parties. Another way in which you can keep down the costs of your divorce is by working to separate your emotions from the process. While this can be difficult, decisions fueled by anger (or even sadness) are not often the best in the long term. If you ever feel overwhelmed during the proceedings, excuse yourself for a short time to clear your mind. If you’re about to initiate a divorce but are worried about costs and other stressors – we’re here to help. Our team of experts is committed to ensuring that your divorce is as peaceful and cost-effective as possible, and we’re always on hand to answer any questions you may have. [Get in touch with a Provider today ](https://dwdignity.com/contact/)to find out more. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Is It Time To Divorce? **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Get To Know Tina Taylor](https://dwdignity.com/get-to-know-tina-taylor/) **Published:** April 28, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Divorce With Dignity is a respected national network of divorce support professionals from all walks of life. Combining personal experience with professional qualifications and understanding, a DWD provider will help you to keep control of your delicate situation and ensure you receive an outcome that is as safe, cost-effective, and easy as possible. We believe that all professional relationships are improved by getting to know the person on the other side of the table. After all, this will help make those tricky and often confusing next steps with a little more confidence and a foundation of support to lean on. With that in mind, we’d like to introduce you to Tina Taylor, a DWD provider based in Greater Albuquerque, NM. **Fun Facts about Tina:** - Tina graduated from Law School at 50 in just ***two*** years. - Tina loves to travel. So far, she’s been to Ireland, Switzerland, Netherlands, Italy, Germany, Canada, Mexico, Cuba, Barbado, Jamaica, Bahamas, United Emirates, Maldives, Belize, Honduras, England, and France (and more). - Tina studied martial arts in her youth and, as a brown belt, won regional and national awards. - Tina loves all kinds of music and has attended more than 100 concerts from Kenny Rogers and Elton John to the Ying Yang Twins and BB King. **One Quote to Live By:** *“It always seems impossible until it’s done!!”* **Tina’s Background:** Tina’s academic pursuits began at Arizona State University, where she obtained a bachelor’s Degree in Justice Studies, Political Science & English. After graduating, she went into a career as a city official. After 28 years of government service, she went back to school to get her Law Degree (a dream she’d had since she was 5). Tina is currently a member of the New Mexico State Bar and the United States District Court Bar. These qualifications, alongside a wealth of practical and professional experiences, make Tina an excellent fit for the DWD Team. Not only does she understand the ins and outs of the divorce process, but she also shares our belief that these topics can be handled peacefully – outside of the courtroom. Since joining the team, she’s helped many clients navigate their way through this challenging time with their heads held high. From her office in Greater Albuquerque, Tina serves members of the following communities as they initiate the divorce process: - Bernalillo County - Santa Fe County - Sandoval County - Los Alamos County - Valencia County - Torrance County **Tina’s Specialties:** Tina’s academic and professional background means that she’s able to offer her clients a range of services and specialties pertaining to Divorce and Family Law. These include: - Amicable Divorce or Separation - Divorce Planning and Facilitation - Marital Settlement Agreement - Family Law Mediation - Support Agreements (Child & Spousal) - Parenting Plan - Prenuptial & Postnuptial Agreements - Cohabitation (Non-Marital) Agreement - Estate Planning: Wills and Trusts Whether you’ve only just made the decision to Divorce, or are unsure of where to begin, Tina is here to help every step of the way and will be happy to answer any questions you have. If you’re going through a Divorce in Greater Albuquerque, please do not hesitate to[ reach out ](https://dwdignity.com/tina-taylor-esq/)to Tina today. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [National Month Of Hope: Top Tips For Being More Hopeful In Hard Times.](https://dwdignity.com/national-month-of-hope-top-tips-for-being-more-hopeful-in-hard-times/) **Published:** April 4, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Many people who are going through a divorce feel a certain sense of hopelessness – even if they instigated the process themselves. This is due to the fact that we poured so much time, energy, and spirit into maintaining a relationship, only for it to not pay off in the way in which we’d hoped. White disheartening, it’s important we’re able to process this loss in a more positive way. After all, things *will* always work out, even if the end result is a little different to the one we originally expected – and there’s a lot of hope to be had when you capitalize upon this. With that in mind, here are some top tips that you can use to remain more hopeful when going through a divorce. **Keep it peaceful.** A peaceful divorce is much gentler on your mind and spirit than going after your partner in court. This is because it allows you to protect your peace, as you do not feel as though you are spending every minute fighting with your partner, whether you’re discussing the division of assets or childcare. This will enable you to maintain a more positive mindset throughout the entire divorce process, which will leave you feeling more hopeful for the future. By parting ways peacefully, you are also creating a sense of hope for any future relationships you embark upon, as you can see that even when people grow apart, you can still maintain some of that respect and love you built throughout your time together. **Don’t bury your emotions.** Burying your emotions or trying to sweep them under the rug will not make them go away. In fact, it will only allow them to strengthen into something worse, which in turn, can leave you feeling pretty hopeless. As such, it’s important that you find a healthy outlet for your emotions during your divorce. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member, and simply let yourself talk openly and freely about how you are feeling. Alternatively, you may wish to speak to a therapist who can help you better understand your emotions and put coping mechanisms in place. Giving yourself the freedom to feel will allow more positive emotions to come to the surface of your mind, as you no longer feel as though you are running from negativity. **Count your blessings.** When surrounded by negativity, it’s easy to lose hope. However, by reminding yourself of everything you have to be thankful for in life, you can begin to feel a little more hopeful as you move forward. Take a look at the people that are rallying around you to offer their support at this time, or those who make you smile even on your worst days. These people alone advocate for staying hopeful and staying positive. Furthermore, instead of thinking about the things you are losing during the divorce, think about what you are gaining. For example, you are gaining the freedom to put yourself and your needs first – whether that means you embark upon new relationships or simply dedicate some time to your hobbies and interests. Think of it this way: when going through a divorce, you aren’t only starting a new chapter, you’re writing a whole new book! **Final Thoughts.** If you’re going through a divorce, it’s important to know that you are not alone. Together, we can help you stay positive as you move forward on this brand new adventure. Get in touch with [a Provider near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) today to find out more. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Spring Cleaning Your Relationships](https://dwdignity.com/spring-cleaning-your-relationships/) **Published:** March 29, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** When you think of spring cleaning, you likely think about the long-ignored chores at the bottom of your to-do list. However, there are many other forms of spring cleaning that can be just as useful, especially when it comes to re-assessing your relationships. For example, spring cleaning is, above all, an act of rejuvenation. It’s a process through which you can shake off the dust from certain areas of your life, allowing you to start anew. As a result, if you were thinking of indulging in some ‘spring cleaning’ this March, start by looking at your relationships with the people you surround yourself with. If you are in the process of a divorce, you may think that this is the only relationship worthy of separating yourself from – but this, unfortunately, may not be the case. For example, it may also be time to move on from friendships that no longer serve you or your happiness. ### Identify Toxic Relationships. Toxic relationships, both platonic and romantic, are **more** damaging than they are fruitful. It does not matter how long somebody has been a part of your life or how many happy memories you share; if spending time with them hurts you, it’s time to cut the chord. However, to make this possible, it’s essential that you’re able to identify the signs of toxic relationships, such as: - You feel as though they do not listen to you. - They seem intent on putting you down or making light of your emotions. - They are jealous of your successes but happy to talk about failures or things going wrong. - They make it hard for you to be yourself around them. - They are controlling. - Your relationship is defined by their terms and boundaries, with your own needs not being taken into consideration. Once you have realized that the relationship is no longer serving you in the right way, it’s up to you how you proceed. You could talk with the other person to outline your feelings and concerns and see if something can be salvaged as a response. However, you should put in certain boundaries to protect yourself. If they are unwilling to or do not make the changes, start investing your energy into other, more positive relationships. ### Think about mutual friends you share with your Ex. When you go through a divorce, it’s not only your relationship with your ex-spouse that changes – but also those whose lives you are mutually entwined with. For example, you may share many mutual friends. This does not mean you have to stop seeing or spending time with these people, but you may need to reframe your relationship with them. For example, you may need to determine their loyalties, especially if you feel they’ll pass on the information you share with them to your ex. However, it’s possible for mutual friends not to take anyone’s side – especially if you are participating in [a peaceful divorce. ](https://dwdignity.com/achieve-a-peaceful-divorce-create-the-life-you-want/) However, if certain relationships exist only through your partner, don’t feel you have to continue with them, especially if you do not have anything in common. It’s okay to let people be part of just a chapter or two of your life’s story. ### Your Relationship With Yourself. When spring-cleaning your relationships, you should also focus on sprucing up your relationship with yourself. In many cases, this can be instrumental to your healing during a divorce. After all, trying to keep a relationship together can be exhausting and often means you disregard your own feelings and emotions in favor of the other person. As such, use this as an opportunity to reconnect with yourself. Indulge in your hobbies, practice self-care, and spend some time alone. ### Going through a Divorce? We’re here to help. If you’re going through a divorce or are about to file paperwork for the first time, we’re here to help. By letting the experts guide you through this process, you’ll have more time to focus on spring-cleaning other areas of your life, such as your relationships. This will give you the peace you need to move forward with your head held high. [Get in touch today with a Provider ](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)to find out more. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Get To Know Shilpa Kapoor](https://dwdignity.com/get-to-know-shilpa-kapoor/) **Published:** March 21, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Divorce With Dignity is a national network of divorce support professionals from all walks of life. Combining personal experience with professional qualifications and understanding, a DWD provider will help you to keep control of your situation and ensure you receive an outcome that is as safe, cost-effective, and easy as possible. We believe that all professional relationships are improved by getting to know the person on the other side of the table. After all, this will help make those tricky and often confusing next steps with a little more confidence and a foundation of support to lean on. With that in mind, we’d like to introduce you to Shilpa Kapoor, Psy.D., a DWD provider based in Contra Costa County, CA. **Five Fun Facts About Shilpa:** - Shilpa is bicultural and multi-lingual; she speaks English, Hindi, Punjabi, and Urdu - Shilpa is a certified Divorce Mediator & Conflict Resolution Specialist - Shilpa is the founder of Mind-Body Care, a mental health private practice in the Bay Area - Shilpa has a doctorate and master’s degree in Clinical Psychology - She likes to travel, hike, read and cook. **Shilpa’s Background:** Shilpa has a background in clinical psychology and a wealth of qualifications related to conflict resolution, mediation, and couples therapy. With our shared belief in the idea that separation and divorce do not need to be a drawn-out and emotionally-tolling process, we were thrilled to welcome her to the DWD team. We agree that the divorce process can be carried out holistically and with dignity, especially when the right support systems are in place. Shilpa has received the following certifications: - Divorce Mediator - Mediation and Alternate Dispute Resolution - Emotion-Focused Couples Therapy - Life and Wellness Coach - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy) From her office in Contra Costa, she’s on hand to help clients through every step of the divorce process. This means that not only will you be able to avoid the courtroom when going through a divorce, you will also be given support as you navigate the many difficult feelings you may encounter during this time. **Shilpa’s Specialties:** Shilpa’s career and qualifications have enabled her to develop a range of specialties, many of which may come in handy when going through a divorce. These include: - Online and in-person divorce mediation - Amicable divorce support - Emotional support practices - Reunification support - Conflict resolution – families and couples - Legal document preparation - Conscious uncoupling - Compassionate coparenting Shilpa is particularly well-suited to divorce cases with children involved, as she has over 15 years of experience working with families, teens, and children as they go through difficult times. [If you’re going through a divorce in Contra Costa County, please do not hesitate to reach out to Shilpa.](https://dwdignity.com/shilpa-kapoor/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Women’s Equality Day](https://dwdignity.com/womens-equality-day/) **Published:** August 25, 2020 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Now, in 2020, we celebrate the 100-year anniversary of this momentous and long-overdue right for women to be heard and their votes counted as they serve in their various roles as active, contributing, and impacted citizens of this country. **Content:** **On August 18th, 1920, the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, granting women the right to vote, was ratified.** The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation. Now, in 2020, we celebrate the 100-year anniversary of this momentous and long-overdue right for **women to be heard** and **their votes counted** as they serve in their various roles as active, contributing, and impacted citizens of this country. Specifically, on **August 26th** of this year (and each year since 1971), we formally celebrate this milestone as **“Women’s Equality Day.”** Though many feel that we still have a long way to go towards full equality and that every day we keep pushing forward… on this day, we acknowledge the progress made and contributions of those, along the way, who made it possible (such as Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott, who held the first Woman’s Rights Convention in 1848, which was focused on the social, civil and religious rights of women and specifically addressed **women’s rights (including child custody rights) in the event of a divorce)).** You can read more about that [here](https://www.history.com/topics/womens-rights/seneca-falls-convention). With that, **this month, we wanted to take the opportunity to acknowledge the incredible women who own their own Divorce With Dignity business and are committed to protecting the rights of women (and men, of course), through a fair, peaceful, and equitable divorce process.** **Our Incredible Team of Women Include:** [Asma Bashir (Santa Clara County, CA)](https://dwdignity.com/asma-bashir/) [Jessica Cochran-Kelly (San Mateo County, CA)](https://dwdignity.com/jessica-cochran-kelly/) [Sarah Elder (San Diego County, CA)](https://dwdignity.com/sarah-elder/) [Denise Foster (Alameda County, CA)](https://dwdignity.com/denise-foster/) [Bronwyn Kay Galloway (San Francisco County, CA)](https://dwdignity.com/bronwyn-kay-galloway/) [Lori Black Ogene (Monterey County, CA)](https://dwdignity.com/lori-black-ogene-2/) **Categories:** Become a Provider, Blog --- ### [Healthy Relationship Month](https://dwdignity.com/healthy-relationship-month/) **Published:** February 21, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** February is ***Healthy Relationship Month***, which means that now is the perfect time to look at your relationship with your spouse and figure out whether or not this partnership is right for you. Of course, this answer is never black and white. After all, there are often so many things tying you to your partner, from shared assets to children or even simply years of memories. However, you and your spouse deserve to be in a fulfilling, supportive, and, above all, healthy relationship. If you are no longer providing for each other in this way, then it may be time to consider divorce. **What is a healthy relationship?** A healthy relationship is built around pillars of trust, communication, and respect. When these pillars break down, they tend to cause a ripple effect on other aspects of your relationship. **Trust.** According to various studies, “[trust is critical in developing secure, intimate, and satisfying relationships.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5380380/#R79)” However, trust can easily be broken. The most common example of this occurring in a relationship is through infidelity, which, unsurprisingly, is one of the leading causes of divorce worldwide. However, trust can also be broken in other ways. For example, telling a white lie may seem harmless, but it’s easy to become a habit. And the truth is, you should not hide parts of your life from your partner. If you feel as though there is distrust festering within your relationship, you must do something about it. Couples counseling or having open and honest conversations can help you determine whether or not this trust can be rebuilt. **Communication.** Good communication is an essential aspect of your romantic relationships, as not only will it impact how you interact with each other on a daily basis but also your ability to resolve conflict. While you and your partner may favor different communication styles, you should be able to form your own language or style that ensures both of your needs are met. If these communication channels have closed, try to find ways to open up together again. This is important even if you have decided upon a divorce, as seeing each other’s perspective will allow you to part amicably without needing to go to court. **Respect.** Respect plays into your relationship in many ways. For example, you should expect your partner’s boundaries – no matter what they may be. You should respect their morals and views – even if they’re a little different from your own. If you feel as though you are being disrespected, this is another clear-cut sign that a difficult conversation is necessary. Remember, you have the right to respect, especially within your home and romantic relationships – and by asking for this, you are not asking for too much. **What should I do If I am in an Unhappy Relationship?** If you (and your partner) have come to the conclusion that the best thing to do is to end your relationship, then it’s important to note there is plenty of support out there for you. These services, such as [therapy and counseling](https://dwdignity.com/the-role-of-therapy-and-counselling-when-going-through-a-divorce/), alongside holistic divorce support from a [DWD provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/), will enable you to part ways on good terms, while also keeping the process as uncomplicated as possible. If you’d like to find out more, please do not hesitate to [get in touch with a Provider in your area. ](https://dwdignity.com/contact/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce, Life After Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Creative Romance Month](https://dwdignity.com/creative-romance-month/) **Published:** February 10, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** While February may be primarily associated with Valentine’s Day, the entire month tends to center itself around romance. This can be difficult for those who are newly single or experiencing a divorce, given that romance may be the last thing on your mind at this time. However, there are many ways in which you can embrace the spirit of creative romance month for your benefit. For example, you could use this as an opportunity to get to know (or fall in love) with yourself. Not only will this help you find peace within your divorce, but it will also help you to get comfortable and understand what you needed from your partner but did not get in your marriage. This will make it easier to enter new relationships in the future without getting caught in a cycle of miscommunication and misunderstandings. **How To Understand What You Need From A Partner.** Relationships are often transactional, meaning that when we put something in to a relationship – our focus, energy, or spirit – we also need to get something back. Understanding this is crucial when moving forward, as it’s essential that your needs – whatever they may be – are met. **Need: Adaptability.** Susan Regan, MFT, a relationship expert and coach, recently launched a podcast entitled #SoRelatable. In the first episode, she talks at length about understanding your own needs within the realms of your relationship and how they may change through different stages of your life: *“We could be asking for many different things in relationships, and those may have to do with our personality and our need and what we want, what we like, and what we’re aiming for. Those will all extend into and align with the period or chapter in our life.”* As such, Susan believes one of the most crucial things people need from a romantic partner is adaptability. An understanding that relationships change and grow alongside us, meaning that something that may have worked ten years ago may not work quite the same way it does today. **Need: Security and Safety.** There’s no denying that a sense of safety and security is essential, especially in a relationship. This is because they create “[the ability to connect, to be intimate, to relax into the sense of oneness that a mutual affinity and healthy attachment can foster.](https://alanis.com/news/how-to-create-safety-in-a-relationship#:~:text=A%20sense%20of%20safety%20in,and%20healthy%20attachment%20can%20foster.)” In her podcast, Susan explores how you can determine whether or not a relationship is providing you with the security and safety you need. **Can you talk about everything?** *“Can you talk about successes, failures, everything in between, anything that’s difficult? Intimacy, sex, money, other relationships, and differences?* **Do you trust your partner (and feel trusted)? *“****Trust is a big thing; it’s beyond lying and cheating. It’s about safety and integrity – and feeling like the person has as much respect or ability to tend to you as you tend to them.”* **Can you maintain your independence?** *“There’s going to be some codependency in the relationship because the reason you are getting together is a dependency. But it’s equally important that you focus on your interdependence.”* **Is there a mutual curiosity?** *“Curiosity helps the people in the relationship to grow and change and evolve, leading to conversations about what is needed for that person to be happy.”* **Has laughter remained a present element?** *“One of the indicators, when things get rigid in a relationship, is that there’s isn’t enough light-heartedness, joking, playing around.”* **Do you have physical intimacy (not just sexual)?** *“Physical intimacy, the proximity that you keep with somebody (like being able to reach out and hold their hand), is really important because, as human beings, one of our basic needs is being touched.”* **Do you operate as a team?** *“There’s a teamwork approach needed here. How are we going to solve this? We can solve this. We want to solve this.”* **Can you resolve conflict constructively?** *“If you haven’t been able to talk about the things that are really bothering you, and the conflict becomes hidden or open, we really want to work on how to make conflict have a solution.”* Recognizing Unhealthy Relationship Markers. Understanding what constitutes a healthy relationship also requires us to[ understand what an unhealthy relationship looks like.](https://dwdignity.com/unhappy-marriage-vs-amicable-divorce/) This is something that Susan explores at length in her podcast. **Are you asking/being asked to change?** *“One of the biggest indicators that the relationship needs some work is whether someone is trying to change or control the other person.”* **Do you have good boundaries?** *“Think about some of the ways you feel like boundaries are upheld well in your relationship, and some places where you think there might be some weakness and who’s doing that and what’s the boundary difference between you and your partner.”* **Does your relationship feel equitable?** *“Inequalities could be that someone makes more money, someone has more friends, or someone has more downtime – and they have to be talked about instead of building resentment.* Celebrating Creative Romance Month As discussed above, one of the easiest ways to get into the spirit of creative romance month is to use this time to get to know yourself and your needs a little better. Then, when you are ready to put yourself back out there, you’re ready for the whirlwind romance you’ve been waiting for. To listen to the full podcast from Susan, click[ here.](https://www.relationshipsolutionsprograms.com/blog/sorelatable-podcast-ep1) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce, Life After Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Get To Know Gina Lee](https://dwdignity.com/get-to-know-gina-lee/) **Published:** January 25, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Divorce With Dignity is a national network of divorce support professionals who focus on guiding you through the process of a peaceful divorce. That is a divorce that is cost-effective, safe, and as easy as possible for all parties involved. As many of [our providers ](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)have gone through a divorce themselves, they understand the impact of a divorce from both a personal and professional standpoint. This means they’re able to offer excellent support through every step of the process. We believe that all professional relationships are improved by getting to know the person on the other side of the table. After all, this will make it much easier for you to take the next step, as you know you have a strong support foundation to lean upon moving forward. With that in mind, we’d like to introduce you to Gina Lee – a Divorce With Dignity Provider serving Marin and Sonoma Counties in California. **Five Fun Facts About Gina:** - Gina is a San Francisco Native. - Gina has traveled the world and lived in various cities, including Washington D.C., Hong Kong, Los Angeles, and London. - Gina is a proud mom of an (adorable) curly-haired child. - Gina earned a BA in Communications and a BA in Political Science from the University of California, Davis. - Gina has received a 200-hour certified Yoga Teacher Training. **Gina’s Background** Gina is a member of the California State Bar and a certified mediator. Gina has an impressive academic background having graduated from [Lowell High School](https://www.usnews.com/education/best-high-schools/california/districts/san-francisco-unified-school-district/lowell-high-school-3259), a national blue ribbon school in San Francisco, and from UC Davis with two Bachelor of Arts Degrees, one in Communications and one in Political Science. She also earned her Juris Doctorate at University of California Law, formerly known as [UC Hastings College of the Law](https://theblackwellfirm.com/what-happened-to-hastings-law-school/#:~:text=Hastings%20is%20consistently%20ranked%20as%20one%20of%20the,and%20the%203rd%20best%20law%20school%20in%20California.), with notable alumni such as the 49th Vice President of the United States, Kamala Harris. Due to her academic rigor, it’s no surprise that Gina stepped into the world of teaching after completing her studies. In fact, before joining the DWD family, Gina ran her own [tutorial business ](https://www.bepreparedcalbar.com/california-bar-exam-tutoring-testimonials)designed to help law students successfully pass the California Bar Exam to become licensed attorneys. Her knowledge, skill, and compassion make her the perfect fit for our company – and we were overjoyed when she joined DWD. We know that the work she carries out will have a lasting, positive impact on her clients in Marin/Sonoma County. Her background in teaching and sharing knowledge with others aligns perfectly with her role as a DWD provider, as she supports clients by helping them make more educated decisions during the divorce process. She helps them to better understand their options moving forward so that they can part ways amicably without having to go to court. **Gina’s Specialties** Gina’s background as a scholar, educator and Family Law Attorney & Mediator has enabled her to develop a wide range of specialties within the legal sector. These skills allow her to offer her clients varied support during the most difficult time in their lives. Her specialties include: - Amicable Divorce - Divorce Planning and Facilitation - Negotiation - Online Mediation - Spousal Support/Child Support - Parenting Plans - Marital Settlement Agreements - Prenuptial Agreements - Postnuptial Agreements - Estate Planning: Wills and Trusts - Cohabitation (non-marital) Agreements [**What do her clients say?** ](https://www.yelp.com/biz/divorce-with-dignity-marin-san-rafael-3) Since becoming a DWD provider, Gina has helped countless couples navigate their way through their divorce with dignity, grace, and confidence. In doing so, she helps save them a great deal of money, time, and emotional difficulties. One client recently stated, “Gina is a knowledgeable, experienced, sensitive professional with terrific communication and organizational skills. The process went seamlessly from our first connection by phone to the final divorce paperwork. Her trustworthy advice and diligent effort culminated in a best-case scenario outcome. My highest recommendation would be Gina Lee.” -Lezlie H. So, if you’re going through a divorce in the Marin/Sonoma county area – please do not hesitate to [get in touch with Gina Lee](https://dwdignity.com/gina-lee/) today! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [How To Turn Your Resolutions Into Intentions In 2023](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-turn-your-resolutions-into-intentions-in-2023/) **Published:** January 11, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** It’s hard to believe a new year is already upon us. And, whether you’re sad or happy to bid goodbye to 2022, you’ve likely already begun working on your goals for 2023. While[ 62% of women and 53% of men aimed to set New Year’s Resolutions](https://www.finder.com/uk/new-years-resolution-statistics) for the upcoming year, many fail before they even begin. In fact, a recent study found that almost [one in four of us quit within the first week of setting our resolution](https://insideoutmastery.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/#:~:text=43%25%20of%20all%20people%20expect,keep%20their%20New%20Year's%20resolutions.). Of course, there are many reasons for this failure. Our goals could be more realistic and easier to turn into action. This leads to disillusionment, wherein we feel as though we will be unable to reach our goal, therefore, should not even try. However, it’s important to note that fear of failure should not drive you away from making positive changes. In fact, that fear sometimes signifies that the change will be worthwhile and positive in the long run. As such, it’s beneficial to change how you look at the fabled new year’s resolutions and instead turn them into intentions. **What is the difference between resolutions and intentions?** **Resolutions** are singular, defined goals that focus more on the endpoint than the journey you will take to get there. **Intentions** are focused on changing your mindset, viewpoints, and behaviors to enact positive change. Being intentional in your behaviors enables you to reach goals, as you’re given a framework to follow. **How to turn your resolutions into intentions in 2023.** **Set realistic intentions**. The goal for enacting positive change in the coming months is to set yourself goals (or intentions) that are actionable and realistic. This often means they are broader than resolutions. This way, you are pouring your energy into something that will be fruitful long term. For example, if you’re dealing with the emotional fallout of your divorce, your intention could be to take better care of your mental health. This can be achieved by [practicing self-care and self-love](https://dwdignity.com/january-is-self-love-month-heres-how-to-take-care-of-yourself/), speaking to a therapist, or finding healthy outlets for your emotions. Being intentional in your approach to your mental health and well-being will give you the strength you need to heal. **Think about what you actually want.** Many of us make resolutions based on trends or other societal factors. For example, we may endeavor to lose weight because it is a common goal and we’ll be happier as a result. However, when setting intentions for the new year, it’s crucial that you think about what you actually want. For example, some people aim to try and repair their relationship with their partner whenever a new year rolls around. While any healthy relationship takes work, it’s also crucial that you realize [when it’s time to get divorced](https://dwdignity.com/category/is-it-time-to-divorce/). After all, the core of this aim (repairing your relationship) is actually to make yourself and your spouse happy. Sometimes, this happiness is achieved through amicable separation, as you both have the chance to move on. **Put together a plan.** As mentioned above, setting intentions can be more beneficial than setting resolutions because they encourage you to take action. As a result, you should put together a plan that details the steps you will take to bring your intention to life. For example, if you intend to find happiness and leave behind a difficult relationship, you must consider what this entails. Beyond a discussion with your partner, you’ll have to consider the division of assets and reach out to a legal professional to help you determine your next best step. If you have children together, you’ll also have to [involve them in the conversation](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-talk-to-your-children-about-your-upcoming-divorce/) so that they understand what is happening. Whether you’ve been married for five years or fifty, we understand that even the idea of getting divorced can be overwhelming. However, we’re here to help you every step of the way. We can help you separate without stress, fear, or financial burdens. If you’d like more information, please reach out to a [Divorce With Dignity Provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) in your area. Each Provider offers a complimentary discovery session, where they can answer your questions and speak to your unique situation. Click [here to find a Provider near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) and schedule your complimentary consultation. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [January Is Self-Love Month: Here's How To Take Care Of Yourself.](https://dwdignity.com/january-is-self-love-month-heres-how-to-take-care-of-yourself/) **Published:** December 28, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** **What is Self-Love Month?** According to National Today, “[Self-Love Month is a time to appreciate yourself and invest time in conscious physical, spiritual, and psychological growth. It involves prioritizing your happiness and well-being](https://nationaltoday.com/self-love-month/#:~:text=Self%2DLove%20Month%20is%20in,your%20happiness%20and%20well%2Dbeing.).” As the divorce process can wreak havoc on your emotions, now is your chance to truly indulge in some self-love and compassion! **How To Practice Self-Love During Your Divorce.** A recent study found that while resilience is the most common response to a divorce, “[a small percentage of people (approximately 10-15%) struggle quite substantially, and it appears that the overall elevated adverse health risks are driven by the poor functioning of this group.”](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4397145/) As a result, there’s never been a better time to focus on self-care and self-love, as this can prove to be instrumental in your healing. With that in mind, here are some simple ways in which you can practice self-love during the divorce process. **Embrace your emotions.** Findings suggest that “[the loss of a close, personal relationship triggers strong emotions and conflict](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407512443452).” As a result, the best way you can practice self-love during this time is to acknowledge these emotions. Don’t feel as though you have to brush them under the rug or avoid them – as this will only delay your healing. Instead, find an effective way to channel your emotions into something positive. For example, many people find that exercise can be a great way to reduce stress, anxiety, and frustration. Talking about how you are feeling to a professional or a friend can also help you work your way through whatever is happening around you. It’s also an effective tool for combating feelings of loneliness and isolation. **Treat yourself.** With the holiday season upon us, you may not be thinking about buying gifts any time soon. However, treating yourself is the perfect act of self-care because it encourages you to put yourself first for a change. This is because “[when we give ourselves treats, we feel energized, cared for and contented, which boosts our self-command—and self-command helps us maintain our healthy habits.”](https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/why-you-should-treat-yourself#:~:text=When%20we%20give%20ourselves%20treats,%2C%20gained%20in%20self%2Dcontrol.) Remember, treating yourself doesn’t have to be an expensive venture. In fact, it can be free! For example, you could treat yourself to a nice walk in the countryside or a few extra hours of alone time! **Learn to let go.** Learning to let go is also an important act of self-love because you are no longer holding onto things that hurt you. Letting go of anger, sadness, and more is also important during the divorce process because it can stop you from [going after your partner unnecessarily](https://dwdignity.com/what-you-really-lose-when-you-go-after-your-spouse-in-divorce/). This also makes the mediation process run much more smoothly, as you’re able to make thoughtful, concerned decisions as opposed to acting out of anger. **Opt for a peaceful divorce.** Finally, you can also show yourself some love during the divorce process by refusing to subject yourself to unnecessary stress and turmoil. A peaceful divorce process, which stays outside of court, is a great way to achieve this goal. We know that this is very emotional for you and want to help make this process as easy as possible for you and your family. [Get in touch](https://dwdignity.com/contact/) with a Provider today to find out more! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [National Call a Friend Day](https://dwdignity.com/national-call-a-friend-day/) **Published:** December 16, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** ***Did you know that the 28th of December is National Call A Friend Day?*** This holiday, nestled in between Christmas and New Year, “[reminds us all to take a few minutes, pick up the phone, and call that friend you’ve been meaning to get back in touch with](https://nationaltoday.com/national-call-a-friend-day/#:~:text=On%20December%2028%2C%20celebrate%20National,fun%20connecting%20as%20a%20group.).” However, while this day is a great prompt and reminder to reach out, it’s important to build a network of support that you can rely on throughout the year – especially if you’re [going through a divorce. ](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-prepare-for-a-divorce/) **Why is a support network useful?** There are many reasons why it’s helpful to have a support network to fall back on during good times and bad. For example, your support network: - Enables you to speak openly about your feelings. - Helps fight feelings of isolation and loneliness. - Provides you with a sense of community. - Puts you in place to help others, too. **Enables you to speak openly about your feelings.** Speaking openly about how you are feeling is instrumental to your healing. This is because it’s only once we open up that we properly process our emotions instead of compartmentalizing (or outright ignoring them). To put it simply, “[thwarting emotions is not good for mental or physical health. It’s like pressing on the gas and brakes of your car at the same time, creating an internal pressure cooker](https://time.com/5163576/ignoring-your-emotions-bad-for-your-health/).” By having a list of friends, family, and professionals to talk to, you no longer have to keep your feelings at bay. Reach out to those you feel as though you can be vulnerable around. Remember, you do not have to talk with the intention of quickly resolving the issue at hand. In fact, it’s unlikely that a single conversation can do that – as your emotional recovery is an ongoing journey. Instead, you’re simply talking to let it all out, to give yourself breathing space, and to stop holding things in. **Helps fight feelings of isolation and loneliness.** Many people report feelings of loneliness during (and after) a divorce. After all, you often go from spending 24/7 with someone to cutting contact (or severely reducing it). You may even be living alone for the first time in years. By having a support network of people – whether over the phone or in person – you’re fighting loneliness because there is always somebody ready to chat or pop around to your house. This can help you push away those feelings, while also stopping you from further isolating yourself by spending too much time alone. **Provides you with a sense of community** Your support network is a community within itself. After all, it’s a group of people who all care about the same thing: you! A sense of community can be incredibly beneficial when going through a divorce, as it proves that you are not alone. This is particularly true if you join a [Divorce Support Group](https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/online-divorce-support-groups/), as you’ll be in direct contact with people who know exactly what you are going through. This means that you can have open conversations without worrying about judgment or pity, knowing that you will be accepted and supported. **Puts you in a place to help others.** Sometimes, when we reach out to a friend – it’s because we know they need us. Building a support network also means that you can be there for others – whether they’re going through a divorce themselves or need a shoulder to cry on. Furthermore, having people to rely on means that you can work through whatever is troubling you, putting you in a better position to help others. This is because you’ll have greater emotional clarity, meaning you’ll be able to provide advice and support without being caught up in your own feelings. **Who should I class as my support network?** Your support network can be made up of anyone you find supportive or helpful as you navigate your way through this time. This could include: - Close friends, colleagues, and family members. - Mental health professionals, such as[ therapists and counselors. ](https://dwdignity.com/the-role-of-therapy-and-counselling-when-going-through-a-divorce/) - Divorce attorneys who are helping you navigate your divorce. - Other divorcees, such as members of a divorce support group. **If you’re going through a divorce, we’re here to help.** You go through every emotion during a divorce, and the process will likely stir up a lot of questions. While we don’t have all the answers, we are here for you. Our approach to divorce is holistic. We don’t believe you or your partner should have to suffer through a complicated court case to separate – especially if it can be organized without stepping into a courtroom. As such, we’ll help you navigate your divorce with as much peace and dignity as possible. [Get in touch to find out more. ](https://dwdignity.com/contact/) ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [December: Month of Giving](https://dwdignity.com/december-month-of-giving/) **Published:** November 30, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** December is often described as “the month of giving.” During this period, not only do charitable donations rise, but we also hand out plenty of gifts to friends, family, and loved ones. However, if you’re [going through a divorce during the holidays](https://dwdignity.com/timing-your-looming-divorce-around-the-holidays/), you may find it harder than usual to slip into the festive spirit. Thankfully, there are various ways in which you can combat this and continue to [make the holidays magical while coping with a divorce](https://dwdignity.com/6-tips-to-make-the-holidays-great-while-coping-with-divorce/). In fact, one way in which you can achieve this goal is by giving – not only to others but to yourself too! **What can I give to others during the holidays?** **Physical Gifts.** It goes without saying that one way in which you can ‘give’ to those around you during the holidays is by arranging a gift swap. Remember, gifts do not need to be expensive to be meaningful. Not only is gift-giving a great way to put a smile on your friend’s or loved one’s face, but it can also do wonders for your mental health too. This is because “[when people give gifts, it activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection, and trust, creating a “warm glow](https://blog.cultivatepcg.com/blog/science-says-gifting-is-good-for-you#:~:text=The%20emotional%20benefits&text=Lyubomirsky's%20study%20found%20that%20when,we%20give%20someone%20a%20gift.)” effect.“ To put it simply, making others happy often makes us feel happier too! **Time and energy.** As mentioned above, gifts do not need to be expensive in order to have an impact. In fact, they don’t need to cost you anything at all. Giving people your time, energy and support can make a huge difference, especially as [55% of Americans report feeling lonelier than ever around the holidays.](https://www.valuepenguin.com/holiday-loneliness-survey#:~:text=55%25%20of%20Americans%20are%20experiencing%20the%20holiday%20blues%2C%20with%20many,feel%20lonelier%20than%20their%20counterparts) If you know a friend is spending time alone, reach out and invite them to hang out. If you’re both going through a divorce, throw yourselves a spouse-free dinner. Even a phone call can make a huge difference. **Charitable donations.** Another way in which you can give to others during the holiday season is by donating to charity. Remember, even small donations make a big difference. If you don’t have too much money set aside right now, don’t worry, donating your time can also be useful. For example, you could volunteer at a food bank by working to sort through and hand out donations or prepare food. **What can I give myself for the holidays?** **Gifts.** The holidays present you with the perfect opportunity to treat yourself! If there’s been a certain item sitting in your online shopping cart for a while, now is the time to hit that checkout button. While you may have missed the black Friday sales, there’s a reason they call it retail therapy. It makes you feel good – and you deserve that. **Space.** Another way in which you can give back to yourself during the holidays is by giving yourself the space you need. Don’t feel pressured to attend busy, family events if you’d rather spend some time alone. Give yourself the grace you need to process what you are going through and reach out only when you feel ready to do so. **Forgiveness.** Many people tend to harbour feelings of guilt and anger during a divorce – directed at both themselves and their spouse. While this is perfectly natural (and something that may take time to work through), the best thing you can give yourself during this time is forgiveness. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made, and give yourself the grace and support you need to move forward. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [How To Practice Gratitude This November](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-practice-gratitude-this-november/) **Published:** November 16, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** November is National Gratitude Month and while you may be well-versed in discussing what you are thankful for over Thanksgiving dinner, you’d be surprised about the benefits that are brought around when gratitude becomes a daily practice in your life. **What is gratitude?** By definition, “[gratitude is the human way of acknowledging the good things in life](https://www.stuttgartdailyleader.com/november-is-national-gratitude-month/).” It encourages you to recognize the aspects of your life that bring you joy, even if they are relatively small. However, when going through a divorce, it can be hard to feel grateful. After all, while it may be a necessary act, divorce is tough. You dedicate a lot of your time, love, and energy into a relationship without reaping long-term positive results. Consequently, you may feel as though you have little to be grateful for this year; however, this is not the case. A difficult time in your life is not devoid of joy or things to be thankful for – just look at all the people who are rallying themselves around you right now or the way the leaves crunch beneath your feet on your morning walk. **How can I practice gratitude when going through a divorce?** **Be thankful for change.** Change can be scary, especially when the things you were previously thankful for, such as your home and family unit, are changing right before your eyes. However, change is the key to happiness. So, take a time to be thankful for the fact that you are investing in yourself and your own joy. Be thankful for the fact that you’re [removing yourself from a bad situation](https://dwdignity.com/why-is-it-better-to-get-divorced-than-stay-in-an-unhappy-relationship/). Be thankful for the fact that you’re starting a new chapter and the world of opportunities that now rest at your fingertips. **Be thankful for your support system.** While we often glamorise romantic relationships, it’s important to note that they are not the only relationships in our life that should be placed on a pedestal of appreciation. Whether you’ve joined a [divorce support group](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/best-divorce-support-groups), or are venting to your friend and family, you’re likely surrounded by people who want what is best for you and are always there to listen. This alone is something to be thankful for. **Be thankful for life’s small joys.** When expressing gratitude, it’s important to note that you don’t have to be thankful for anything ‘big’ or significant. In fact, learning to be grateful for the smaller things in life will help you find more joy in your day moving forward. For example, you could express gratitude for the weather on your morning walk, the fact that the barista at your local coffee shop remembers your order or the fact that your friend send you a video they thought you’d enjoy. Every time you smile today (and for the rest of the year), try to remember why you are smiling. Hold onto these moments, and refer back to them whenever you need a boost of joy or gratitude. **Be thankful for yourself.** Your relationship with yourself is the longest relationship you will have in your life. And while it’s easy to fall into feelings of self-doubt during the divorce process, now is the time to show yourself some love. Be thankful that you have the strength to move on from this, the strength required to start anew. Be thankful that you have the capacity to feel, and work through your emotions. Be thankful that you’ve got the chance to start over, and find something that makes you truly happy. If you need a helping hand during this time, know that we’re here to help. [Get in touch with a Provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) to find out more. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Is It Time To Divorce?, Life After Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [November Is Family Stories Month: Here's how to celebrate it.](https://dwdignity.com/november-is-family-stories-month-heres-how-to-celebrate-it/) **Published:** November 1, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Family relationships have been cherished and valued throughout history. For example, some of the earliest cave drawings depict families or similar social groupings, and this creative pursuit has been uncovered to be [“a family-orientated group activity rather than the work of individual males”](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2022/03/11/ancient-handprints-reveal-children-babies-created-quarter-prehistoric/) as once believed. Throughout history and right into the present day: every family has a story – a story of lineage, memories, struggles and sacrifices, great highs and great lows. As November is Family Stories month – we thought we’d share with you the importance of delving into your own family story today. This may feel as though a difficult or overwhelming task should be in the process of going through a divorce; after all, your family story has taken an unexpected twist – but that could just mean that the next adventure is all the more exciting. Embracing your story with your children is a great way to process what has happened – and find the light in dark times before starting on your new chapter. With that in mind, here are some simple ways in which you can celebrate your #familystory this month! **Share positive memories with your children**. The easiest way to celebrate family stories month is by taking a trip down memory lane with your children. For example, you could dig up old albums or scrapbooks and talk about the happy times you’ve shared together as a family. Or, you could ask them to share some of their favorite memories. Having both parents present for this conversation will show your kids that while things are changing, that doesn’t mean you aren’t still connected. It proves that you’ll both still be there for them – and that it’s just that the shape of your family is changing a little. It will also give you the chance to work on developing a friendship with your ex-partner / new co-parent. **Talk about how every family is different.** *Family* means something different to each and every person; for example, some people may grow up in a rather traditional household, while others experience the love of step-parents, or half-siblings too. Many may consider their friends to be family as opposed to those they’re related to by blood. This is an important thing to remember on days when you’re sad about the changes that are occurring – as family is never far away. Talking about these differences with your children will also help them learn the same lesson, which could help them to better process what is happening. **Start making new memories.** Another way in which you can celebrate Family Stories month with your children is by focusing on making new memories. For example, you could head on a family day out to somewhere you’ve never been to before, or even just have fun at home. Either way, focus on spending more quality time together. Remember, your divorce is a fresh start – the first page in a new story or novel. This means that endless adventure and excitement await you; you just need to be ready to turn the page. If you’re ready for your new beginning, but want to separate from your partner peacefully – we’re here to help. Get in touch with a Provider to find out more. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Is It Time To Divorce?, Life After Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Why Is It Better To Get Divorced Than Stay In An Unhappy Relationship?](https://dwdignity.com/why-is-it-better-to-get-divorced-than-stay-in-an-unhappy-relationship/) **Published:** October 21, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** According to a recent [study](https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/64-percent-of-americans-say-theyre-happy-in-their-relationships-300595502.html), 64% of Americans say they’re happy in their relationships or marriages. However, within the fraction of those who are unhappy – many choose to stay married. There are various reasons for this – for example, they may stay due to the sense of familiarity and routine they’ve established with their partner, to ensure their family unit remains intact for their children, or because they’re worried about the financial implications of a divorce. While it’s easy to understand the logic behind these decisions; the benefits of leaving an unhappy relationship far outweigh the negatives. Life is too short to limit your joy – and the sooner you realize this, the better. With that in mind, here are just some of the reasons why it is better to get divorced than stay in an unhappy relationship. 1. You’re taking a step towards your own happiness. When you remain in an unhappy relationship, you’re putting a limit on your own happiness. Over time, this could also have a drastic impact on your mental health, as you’re ignoring your needs and desires in favor of maintaining the sense of normality you’ve constructed through your marriage and relationship. For example, those in toxic relationships are more likely to report high levels of stress and anxiety, and may even be more prone to low moods and depression. These consequences are the result of neglecting our happiness when attempting to keep the status quo. While change can be scary, it’s also liberating. After all, once the divorce proceedings are complete, you’re free to embark upon a new chapter of your life. It can give you the time and energy you need to fall back in love with yourself, to practice self-care, or to simply live a little more freely. 2. You’re setting the right example for your children. According to a recent study, [nearly half of married couples are only staying together because of their kids. ](https://swnsdigital.com/uk/2020/11/nearly-half-of-married-couples-are-only-staying-together-because-of-the-kids/#:~:text=NEWS%20COPY-,Nearly%20half%20of%20married%20couples%20are%20only%20staying%20together%20because,per%20cent%20find%20it%20repetitive)This is built upon the archaic belief that the only functioning family unit is one where both parents are together, living in the same household. However, the truth is, the best environment for your children is a happy one – whether that involves co-parenting, [shared custody](https://dwdignity.com/dealing-with-child-custody-issues-in-divorce/), or the introduction of step-parents and step-siblings. If you stay in a relationship purely for the sake of your children, they are likely to pick up on the fact that their parents are unhappy. For example, you may be more inclined to fighting or bickering – and while you may try to do it when children are not around/listening, they are more perceptive than you realize. According to a recent study, there are many negative side-effects of children witnessing parents’ arguments, including “[sleep disturbance and disrupted early brain development for infants, anxiety and conduct problems for school children, and depression and academic problems for older children and adolescents](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-43486641#:~:text=These%20negative%20effects%20can%20include,for%20older%20children%20and%20adolescents.)”. Your decision to put up with unhappiness as opposed to making a change could impact the way in which they approach relationships in adulthood. As such, a peaceful divorce can be a great way to set a positive example for your children, especially if you work on supporting your ex through co-parenting. 3. The Divorce Process Does Not Have To Be Turbulent. Sometimes, the reason why unhappy couples fail to divorce is that they worry that the process will become turbulent – fueled by a desire to “go after” each other in court. As such, they often fear that getting a divorce will be hard to handle both emotionally and financially. However, the truth is that [most divorces do not belong in court](https://dwdignity.com/what-divorce-options-do-i-have-other-than-going-to-court/), and it’s entirely possible to [separate peacefully ](https://dwdignity.com/achieve-a-peaceful-divorce-create-the-life-you-want/)and without fuss. For example, a [DWD Provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) can help you and your partner separate on amicable terms, reducing your worries and the financial costs of getting a divorce. They’re on hand to help you through every step of the process, whether you’re working on custody arrangements, the division of assets, or simply want to get the legal proceedings over and done with. By approaching divorce from this mindset, it’s easy to see the benefits. You can maintain a sense of respect for your ex-partner, while also realizing that it’s time to move on. This gives you both the chance to pursue happiness elsewhere, with no hard feelings involved. [Get in touch today](https://dwdignity.com/contact/) to find out more. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process, Is It Time To Divorce?, Life After Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [The Role Of Therapy And Counselling When Going Through A Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/the-role-of-therapy-and-counselling-when-going-through-a-divorce/) **Published:** October 5, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** No matter how prepared you may feel when going through a divorce, there’s no denying that it can take its toll on your emotional well-being. After all, once the paperwork and procedures are out of the way, you’re left with your thoughts for the first time in a long time. As a result, it’s only natural to feel a range of emotions, from anger to elation, from relief to sadness. Sometimes, you can feel all of these at once throughout every step of the process. While this ‘turbulence’ is a perfectly natural response to change, you must take care of your emotional well-being during this time. When going through divorce proceedings, this will help you process what is happening and reduce the chances of you lashing out because you are hurt. As such, it can help you avoid unnecessary tension and keep your divorce out of court. After a divorce, it can help you begin to move on and build a new life for yourself. The first thing to remember in this instance is that you are not alone. Everyone who has experienced a divorce has felt this way at one point or another – and they’ve come out on the other side. Like a storm, the rain will eventually subside and you’ll be left with clear skies. However, you also do not (and should not) wait for these feelings to go away on their own. Instead, you should make use of the various resources available to you during this time that can help you gain a better understanding of your emotions – such as through therapy and counseling. **Therapy & Counseling and divorce.** There are many benefits associated with attending therapy or counseling at any stage in your life. These sessions can: Provide you with a safe space to vent, or open up, without fear or worry of judgment. Provide you with the tools you need to better understand your emotions, allowing for greater clarity of thought. Provide you with the insight you need to challenge negative thinking, stress, and anxiety. Provide you with the tools and coping strategies you need to move forward. When going through a divorce, there are various different types of therapy sessions you may want to participate in. For example, couples therapy is designed to improve relationships by helping people gain a better understanding of the person sitting on the other side of the table. It does not necessarily need to be viewed as a method of reconciliation (i.e., getting back together), but can instead provide you with the opportunity to end things on good terms with your partner. When you understand each other’s behavior, you’ll likely feel much more peaceful and relaxed. You’ll no longer feel the need to “go after” each other, and may even be able to develop a friendship in the future. To put it simply, it can help you find the sense of closure you are subconsciously craving. Family therapy or counseling sessions can be healing for the whole family, including young children who may not fully understand what a divorce is or what it means. Many of those who attend these sessions find them to be incredibly healing. Attending one-to-one therapy facilitates emotional growth and a deeper understanding of your thoughts and feelings. As such, it can be a great way to deal with any of the emotions that are stirred up before, during, or after your divorce – helping you move towards a brighter future with your head held high. It can be a great way to rediscover who you are. **Introducing [Dr. Shilpa Kapoor](https://www.mbcare.us/shilpa-kapoor)** We’d like to take this as an opportunity to introduce you to Dr. Shilpa Kapoor. Shilpa is a licensed psychologist, trauma therapist and relationship expert who often lends her services to those going through a divorce. She works to help her patients “tackle unhelpful thinking patterns, find buried and under-utilized strengths, focus on problem-solving and growth, strengthen connections with others, and ultimately rediscover themselves through learning new things and viewing themselves in newer and healthier ways”. Think about your time with Shilpa as pressing the “reset” button – giving you a fresh slate to work on moving forward. We’re also pleased to announce that from January 2023, Shilpa will be joining us as a DWD provider! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [September is National Drug and Alcohol Addiction Recovery Month](https://dwdignity.com/september-is-national-drug-and-alcohol-addiction-recovery-month/) **Published:** August 22, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** A recent report from Psychology Today labeled addiction “a family affliction” because substance abuse changes traditional family dynamics and relationships between parents and children. For example, it could cause a parental figure to act out of character, which means that “The equilibrium or balance of the family system shifts as each member changes and adjusts accordingly.” As a result, it’s hardly surprising that there is a link between substance abuse and divorce. While on average, 40-50% of marriages will end in divorce or separation, these figures are much higher in situations where one or more spouses are dealing with drug or alcohol addiction and dependencies. There are various reasons for this, for example: - Addiction changes our behaviors, which in turn can change how we act in our relationships (both romantic and platonic). - Addiction often leads to financial struggles. - Addiction can put the safety of the addict, and those around them at risk. - Addiction can lead to complicated legal situations. - Addiction breaks trust. With that in mind, and in honor of National Drug and Alcohol Addiction Recovery Month, here are some tips you may find useful if you or your partner is experiencing addiction. **Know that you are not alone.** 21 million Americans deal with an addiction of some kind. As a result, whether you are dealing with this yourself, or trying to support an ex-spouse who is exhibiting addictive behavior, you are not alone – and recovery is possible even when it does not feel that way. **Join support groups.** There are various support groups that can help you navigate your way through this difficult time. For example, you may find programs such as NA (Narcotics Anonymous) or AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) to be a useful space to better understand your addiction and behaviors, as well as put a plan together to move forward. There are also plenty of support groups out there designed to support groups for families of addicts that provide similar support and resources. **Hold yourself accountable**. Holding yourself accountable for your behaviors is important during both the divorce process and your recovery. This is because accepting accountability “in life will provide the tools that one needs to remain sober during and after drug abuse treatment.” During a divorce, accountability for actions can help you come to a more peaceful agreement with your partner, though we are always here to help ensure the process is as smooth as possible. **Seek treatment.** 75% of those who receive treatment for drug addiction consider themselves to be recovered. This means there is a way out – even if it does not feel that way right now. As a result, if you feel as though your addiction has taken control of your life, it may be time to seek help. There are various ways in which you can figure out your next step, whether you speak to your GP, or work with a psychologist, who provides a variety of services to assist people dealing with alcohol and drug recovery. If you are going through a divorce, you may also wish to discuss the situation briefly with your Provider or mediator. While they are by no means entitled to this information, it can help them put the appropriate plans in place to support you moving forward, or else ensure you know about the different services and support systems that are available to you. We also work with trusted and vetted partners to whom we would be happy to refer you. One of our partners is [Dr. Shilpa Kapoor, Psy.D., M.S., M.A.](https://www.mbcare.us/shilpa-kapoor), a psychologist, trauma specialist, and relationship expert, located in the Bay Area, CA. She and her team from [Mind-Body Care, Holistic Wellness Center](https://www.mbcare.us/) may be able to help you live a healthier life. Dr. Kapoor will also be joining our team in January 2023 as a new Provider in Northern California. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Get To Know Lori Black Ogene](https://dwdignity.com/get-to-know-lori-black-ogene/) **Published:** September 8, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Divorce with Dignity is a national network of divorce support professionals who will help you keep control of your situation and receive an outcome that is cost-effective, safe, and as easy as possible. Our team is composed of dedicated, supportive individuals from all walks of life – many of whom have also gone through a divorce themselves. We believe that all professional relationships are improved by getting to know the person on the other side of the table. This can help you to feel more comfortable and supported throughout the complicated legal process. You’ll also know that you’re working with someone you can trust, which will help you make decisions with your head held high. With that in mind, we’d like to introduce you to Lori Black Ogene a Divorce With Dignity Provider based in Monterey County. **Five Fun Facts About Lori:** - Lori has a BA in Print Journalism from Southern University and A&M College. - Lori has earned a Juris Doctorate Degree from Southern University Law Centre, Baton Rouge. - She spent four years working for the Florida Department of Children and Families as a Supervising Attorney. - Lori worked as an adjunct professor at Brown Mackie College. - Since joining the DWD family, Lori has worked as lead counsel or sole counsel for clients in at least 125 non-jury trials in divorce. **Lori’s Background.** As mentioned above, Lori has a strong academic background, having studied extensively under some of the most prestigious tutors in the US. When earning her Bachelor of Arts at the Southern University and A & M College, she made the dean’s list, before going on to graduate cum laude (with distinction) when completing her Juris Doctor’s degree at Southern University. Her academic success inspired her to reach great heights in her career moving forward, which is perhaps why she has worked so extensively in the legal field since graduating in 1992. Lori’s background, in particular her work for the Florida Department of Children and Families, made her the perfect fit for the Divorce With Dignity family, as we pride ourselves on our human-first approach to divorce, custody arrangements and more. This means that, much like Lori, we work towards helping our clients achieve optimal outcomes in all legal procedures, with minimal stress and upset. As a result, we were thrilled to welcome her onboard in 2010! Lori continued to work in Florida until November 2019 when she made the move to California and since then has worked with a lot of Californian clients. When discussing her work, Lori stated, “As a seasoned attorney, I have seen the mental and emotional turmoil caused by the litigation process, not to mention the expense. Most divorcing clients spend at least $250 to $400 per hour for a divorce attorney. On top of that, these legal proceedings can be unnecessarily traumatic and bewildering since most couples are just trying to understand the process while it’s happening.” These observations led to her joining the DWD team so that she can continue to help her clients achieve an amicable divorce that is easy, safe and affordable. **Lori’s specialities:** Lori’s varied legal career has allowed her to develop a range of specialities that inform her legal practices and help her clients reach the best possible outcome. Her specialities include: - Divorce - Mediation - Paternity / Custody Actions - Child Support - Premarital Agreements - Post-Marital Agreements - Adoptions - Name Changes - Wills; Living Trusts Her previous professional experiences mean that she is particularly well suited to divorce cases where children are involved. **What do her clients say?** As mentioned above, Lori has supported hundreds of clients since becoming a Divorce With Dignity Provider. Despite this, the glowing reviews show how she takes each case on a case-by-case basis, thus tailoring her services to ensure her clients are given the exact guidance and support they need. For example, one client recently stated “Lori was a great help in assisting me with my divorce. Her knowledge and professionalism made this process a little easier for me.. I would like to thank Lori for all of her support and kindness in my divorce proceedings. “ So, if you are going through a divorce in Monterey County or the surrounding areas, please do not hesitate to get in touch today! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Is Your Divorce Making You Miserable?](https://dwdignity.com/is-your-divorce-making-you-miserablendence-during-a-divorce-2/) **Published:** July 26, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** You can view divorce as a positive life event through various lenses. After all, it is the precursor to a fresh start. However, that’s not to say that the necessity of the divorce makes it less emotional. In fact, almost everyone who has been through this will also tell you feelings of embarrassment, guilt, or regret often surface, alongside the more predictable feelings of anger, betrayal, and sadness. These feelings present themselves regardless of whether or not you’re certain you want to divorce your partner – it’s simply a natural bodily response to significant change. In fact, many mental health experts and psychologists compare the impact of a divorce to spousal death in terms of the impact this can have on your mental health and wellbeing. As a result, if you’re questioning whether or not your divorce should be making you feel this way, the answer is probably. However, it’s also important to note that these feelings are temporary. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you will be happy again – maybe even happier than you’ve ever been. With that in mind, here are some simple steps you can take to lift your spirits during this time. **Opt for a peaceful divorce.** Following a peaceful divorce process encourages you to remain cordial with your spouse, which can save you a lot of heartache and turmoil. This process will also make otherwise complicated tasks, such as the division of assets, much more straightforward. Furthermore, peaceful divorces tend to be much quicker than the average divorce because you may avoid going to court altogether. This means you can begin to move on quicker, too. **Let yourself feel however you need to feel.** One of the biggest mistakes we make when going through a tough time is attempting to bury or disregard feelings instead of processing them. Sometimes, you need to embrace the full extent of your emotions in order to heal and learn from them. As a result, don’t try to hide how you are feeling. Find someone you trust, and open up to them when you need a little extra support (or even just a pep talk). Many of those experiencing a divorce also find it useful to speak to a therapist. **Find healthy outlets, not distractions.** As mentioned above, running from your feelings will not cause them to go away – which means you need to seek healthy outlets for your emotions instead of distractions. For example, many people find working out more consistently during this time to be beneficial. This is because during exercise, “your brain releases the good chemicals, like endorphins, that help relieve pain and stress. Physical activity also stimulates the release of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, all playing an important part in regulating your mood”. As such, it’s a great way to take care of yourself during a divorce. **Don’t close yourself off.** If you’ve been with your current partner for some time, the thought of entering a new relationship may seem completely alien to you. And while you should not force yourself to move on until you are fully ready to do so, it’s equally important that you do not shut yourself off. Who knows, your next date could be the start of your next great love story! Even more important to remember is that most adults have multiple ‘loves’ in their lives, and 60% of divorcees get married again in the future! ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [How To Re-establish Your Independence During A Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-re-establish-your-independence-during-a-divorce/) **Published:** July 12, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** A divorce is often described as [a declaration of independence with only two signers](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-is-a-declaration-of-independence-with-only-two-signers/) because, in signing those papers, you are giving yourself (and your ex-spouse) permission to move forward and start anew. However, while there are likely many good reasons behind your decision to divorce, that doesn’t necessarily make the coming months any easier. After all, whether you were married for one year or fifty, you’re used to spending the majority of your time as part of a couple. For example, you may have raised a family together, cooked meals together and until very recently, shared a bed each evening. Whatsmore, if you’ve put a lot of time and effort into salvaging your marriage, you may not remember what it’s actually like to be independent and focused solely on yourself. As a result, not only is your divorce a legal procedure, it’s an act of ‘uncoupling’, that leaves you standing alone for the first time in a long time. While this independence is liberating, it can also be overwhelming. With that in mind, here are some top tips that you can use to re-establish your independence during the divorce process. **Be informed and amicable.** The legal process can be incredibly complicated, especially when it comes to contracts or the division of assets. This is because the process itself focuses more on things such as property than the people involved. This means it’s all too easy to fall into the mindset of going after your partner by heading to court – after all, that’s what *everyone* does, right? Wrong. You can maintain your independence, while still protecting your interests by working your way through an [amicable divorce](https://dwdignity.com/exactly-amicable-divorce/). Not only will this allow you to remain on good terms with your ex-partner, but it could also protect you financially. **Throw a divorce party.** Stigma surrounding divorces meant that in previous years, divorces were often kept under wraps. In fact, many people would refuse to talk about getting divorced and would stay in unhappy relationships in order to maintain a certain reputation. Thankfully, public perceptions have changed considerably in recent years. A divorce is not something to be ashamed of; it shows that you value yourself enough to step out of a negative situation. It also shows you that it’s never too late to start a new chapter. As a result of these changing perceptions, [divorce parties are also on the rise](https://www.msbsolicitors.co.uk/the-rise-of-the-divorce-party/). In fact, some couples who remain on good terms even throw shared parties! **Start putting yourself first.** Independence is liberating – and so is divorce. After all, it gives you the chance to put yourself first. As a result, you should use the coming months as an opportunity to rediscover yourself; your likes, your loves, your hobbies. For example, if in your younger years, you loved to dance the night away with your friends – why not head to a dance class or jazz club? If you love to sing, head to a karaoke bar (even if you hit every note but the one you are trying to hit). To put it simply, focus on living your best life – whatever that may entail. Doing so is one of the most effective methods of [caring for yourself after a divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-after-divorce/). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [National Loving Day: Why You Don't Need To Hate Your Ex](https://dwdignity.com/national-loving-day-why-you-dont-need-to-hate-your-ex/) **Published:** June 7, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** National Loving Day is a holiday that is centered around celebrating love in all of its forms. And, it actually has an interesting history. Loving Day gets its origins from Mildred and Richard Loving. The Lovings were arrested in 1958 – for the simple fact that they were an interracial couple. Their resultant court case made it all the way to the U.S Supreme Court and was not overturned until June 12th,1967. Theirs is a story of perseverance and enduring love in the face of hardship; which, believe it or not, could actually teach you a valuable message during your divorce. **Why you don’t have to hate your ex.** There are hundreds (if not thousands) of movies about break-ups and divorces – all of which feature close-up shots of arguments, tears, and ex-spouses talking about how much they hate each other. This means that many people believe that all breakups have to end in hatred. While this can be true for some relationships in our lives – especially when there are a lot of emotions involved, it doesn’t have to be the case during a divorce. In fact, it is possible to end your relationship on amicable terms, safe in the knowledge that you are doing what is right not only for yourself but your partner too. If you’ve been arguing a lot lately, this might seem impossible, but finding common middle ground can come with many benefits. For example: - It means you can[ keep your divorce out of court](https://dwdignity.com/what-divorce-options-do-i-have-other-than-going-to-court/), resulting in lower legal fees. - The division of assets will be much more straightforward, as you will not feel the need to “[go after” your spouse during the divorce. ](https://dwdignity.com/what-you-really-lose-when-you-go-after-your-spouse-in-divorce/) - You’ll be able to maintain a positive relationship for your children, making co-parenting and [shared custody arrangements](https://dwdignity.com/divorced-parents-minimizing-conflicts-in-shared-custody/) much easier. **How can I stay friends with my ex?** - **Don’t play the blame game.** It’s normal to deal with residual feelings of guilt or anger during the divorce process. However, playing the ‘blame game’ and pinning everything on your spouse will **not** make you feel any better. It’s not a healthy way to process your emotions, as you’re simply putting off dealing with them. - **Find closure.** Finding closure is essential in moving forward. When you allow things to end on a sour note, this closure is harder to reach as you’ll always feel as though you have questions that went unanswered. Take some time to sit down with your spouse and have a conversation about your relationship. While this may be difficult, it will help both of you move forward and can trigger the healing process. - **Give yourself some space.** Being on good terms with your ex doesn’t mean you have to jump right into being BFFs. In fact, it’s often better to give yourselves some time apart before you try to work on your relationship. This will give you both the chance to process your emotions and heal, allowing you to start on a clean slate. During this time, be sure that you [take care of yourself](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-after-divorce/) and focus on YOU. - **Opt for a peaceful divorce.** People are increasingly choosing no-fault or amicable divorces. This is likely due to the fact that these alternative divorce methods help divorcees to separate on good terms without adding the unnecessary stress of court appearances. At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/about-us/), we specialize in helping couples navigate their way through this change with dignity and ease. This can go a long way towards helping you part on good terms. Remember, while your ex and yourself may have gone through an incredibly difficult time, there are different ways in which your love for each other can show in the future. It can manifest in how you reach out to support them, or in how you co-parent your family. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Spring Clean Your Emotions: Divorce & A New Beginning](https://dwdignity.com/spring-clean-your-emotions-divorce-a-new-beginning/) **Published:** April 26, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Couples can (and do) divorce at any age - whether this be the result of infidelity or the simple act of growing apart. However, the challenges associated with the divorce process can seem that much more intense when the couple has been together a long time. **Content:** When you begin the process of divorce, it’s normal to feel a mixture of emotions. While you may be feeling a little relief as you move forward from a damaging relationship, anxiety, loneliness, stress, and grief are also common. However, it’s important that you don’t let these negative emotions cloud your judgment. Remember the reasons why separation is necessary – you[ deserve to be happy](https://dwdignity.com/choosing-independence-over-an-unhappy-dependent-marriage/), and if your partner is no longer making you happy, you both deserve a fresh start. With that in mind, here are some simple ways to spring-clean your emotions and get ready for the new chapter in your life. **Find some stability.** Our emotions are thrown into haywire in times of change. As we crave stability, [anything that threatens to disturb the status quo triggers our bodies ‘defensive’ responses](https://www.verywellmind.com/the-fight-or-flight-theory-of-panic-disorder-2583916), leading to heightened anxiety. And, as divorces bring around all manner of change – from moving house to ending a relationship – it’s only natural for these feelings to crop up. As a result, you should try to find some stability in your life to hold onto. For example, this could be your friends and family. **Challenge negative thoughts.** Negative thoughts, particularly towards ourselves, are a trap that we all fall into from time to time. They are prevalent during a divorce, where you may harbor feelings of guilt and resentment. As a result, you must learn to challenge negative thoughts whenever they arise. One way you can transform this way of thinking is by following up every negative thought with two or three positive ones. **Look forward to the future.** Spring is the season of new beginnings – just look at all of the beautiful flowers coming into bloom. If you’re going through a lot of emotional turmoil, you can make the process easier for yourself by trying to look to the future as opposed to the past. As cheesy as it may sound, think of yourself as a flower about to bloom. Give yourself something to look forward to each day, even if it is something as small as a cup of coffee. Remember, tough times are always temporary – and studies suggest that[ people are happier after divorce. ](https://www.liveabout.com/reasons-women-are-happier-after-divorce-1103045) **Work on your other relationships.** Your relationship with your partner should not be the only relationship in your life – and the platonic relationships with your friends and loved ones are just as meaningful. In fact, they are integral to your overall happiness. As a result, you should use your free time to work on these relationships and spend time with those who can lift your spirits. While many people isolate themselves when having a tough time, avoid this where possible. Spending a little time alone can be fruitful, but spending all your time alone will not. **Make positive lifestyle changes.** Our lifestyles also contribute to our emotional health. As a result, you should also try to make healthy lifestyle changes during this time. For example, you could try to go for a daily walk. Not only is this a great way to get moving (and get fit), but it can also help you clear your mind when your thoughts are running away with themselves. While we often opt for eating junk food (otherwise known as comfort food) when we’re feeling bad, following a healthier diet is also a great way to give your body what it needs to feel good. In short, there are various steps you can take to ‘spring clean’ your emotions during this time. However, it’s also essential that you remember you don’t have to do all of this work alone. If you’re struggling, reach out to those around you to ask for support. Alternatively, you might want to look into therapy, where a specialist can help you put effective coping mechanisms in place to support you moving forward. **If you’re ready for your new beginning but want to separate from your partner peacefully – we’re here to help.**[ **Get in touch**](https://dwdignity.com/contact/) **to find out more.** ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Is It Time To Divorce? **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce support, peaceful divorce --- ### [How To Prepare For A Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-prepare-for-a-divorce/) **Published:** May 18, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Whether you’ve been [married for 50 years](https://dwdignity.com/getting-divorced-later-in-life-what-to-expect/) or 5, going through a divorce can be incredibly tough. However, being suitably prepared for the changes that are coming your way makes it a little easier for you to weather the storm. As a result, you’ll be able to view the divorce as an exciting [new beginning](https://dwdignity.com/spring-clean-your-emotions-divorce-a-new-beginning/) instead of lamenting over the past. With that in mind, here are some top tips for preparing for a divorce. **Have the conversation with your spouse.** In most cases, the writing has been on the wall for a while by the time one party in the relationship asks for a divorce. For example,[ 56% get divorced because they argue too often](https://legaljobs.io/blog/children-of-divorce-statistics/) and no longer get along. Either way, the first step of the process, unsurprisingly, is having that difficult conversation with your spouse. This will ensure that you are both on the same page, which will make it easier for you to work your way through an amicable divorce. **Educate yourself on the process.** Once you’ve decided to separate, it’s time to educate yourself on the legalities of the process so that you have an idea of what to expect. For example, getting divorced is more than signing a few papers, as there are a lot of different tasks to work through, such as the division of assets and [child custody arrangements. ](https://dwdignity.com/dealing-with-child-custody-issues-in-divorce/)During this time, you may need to gain access to lots of paperwork, such as tax reports, so give yourself plenty of time to gather this data. However, it should also become apparent during your research that most divorces don’t belong in court. Nor do they need to be a long, drawn-out process. When you work with an amicable divorce Provider, you’ll be able to work your way through the process with ease, saving you time and money. **Begin the legal process.** Reaching out to a divorce Provider is the next step in your journey. However, you must find a legal provider that’s right for you and the kind of divorce you are seeking. For example, if you are splitting with your partner on good terms, you should avoid working with a lawyer who wants to take the process to court, as an amicable divorce does not need to go before a judge. At Divorce With Dignity, our [Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) will always operate with your best interests at heart. **Tell your friends and family.** Telling your friends and family about your separation is a step that should not occur until you feel ready. This gives yourself and your partner a chance to find their peace with what is happening so that they do not come from a place of anger and resentment when breaking the news. More importantly, however, your children should be informed about your divorce before anyone else. This helps you to avoid them overhearing the news from a second party. Thankfully,[ telling your children about your divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-talk-to-your-children-about-your-upcoming-divorce/) does not need to be a huge ordeal for everyone involved. Keep it brief and age-appropriate, telling them only what they need to know. You should also make it clear that no matter what, you will always be a family, and you will be there for them when they need you. **Embrace change.** Change can be scary, and you’ll go through a lot of it when divorcing. This is often one of the biggest reasons people stay in an unhappy marriage, as outside of their relationship, they’re comfortable in their position in life – be that their friends and social groups or home. As a result, to suitably prepare yourself for a divorce is by embracing change. Instead of viewing change as something negative, think about all of the new opportunities and experiences that will come alongside your newfound singlehood. For example, you can [re-enter the dating world](https://dwdignity.com/dating-after-divorce/) or find a new dream home. ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/12106941de67a3c577f7d6662e4e6ffbc2d6b023718fb0c991f2bd061e4b672d?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Cindy Elwell [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/dwd/) **Categories:** Blog, Is It Time To Divorce? **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Getting Divorced Later In Life: What To Expect](https://dwdignity.com/getting-divorced-later-in-life-what-to-expect/) **Published:** March 23, 2022 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** Couples can (and do) divorce at any age - whether this be the result of infidelity or the simple act of growing apart. However, the challenges associated with the divorce process can seem that much more intense when the couple has been together a long time. **Content:** Couples can (and do) divorce at any age – whether this be the result of infidelity or the simple act of growing apart. However, the challenges associated with the divorce process can seem that much more intense when the couple has been together a long time – regarding both the [emotional fallout ](https://dwdignity.com/can-look-emotional-support-divorce/)and the division of assets. Despite this, the divorce rates for older couples have been growing steadily for several decades. In fact, since 1990, figures for divorcing couples aged 50+ have doubled and are expected to triple by 2030. According to a recent study ([The Gray Divorce Revolution: Rising Divorce Among Middle-Aged and Older Adults](https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/article/67/6/731/614154?login=true)), ‘roughly 1 in 4 divorces now occur in persons aged 50 and older’. Psychologists have attributed various reasons to this spike in divorce, with many believing it is connected to the fact that we are simply living longer. As a result, in ‘an era in which the majority of people can reasonably expect to see their 80th, 90th, or even 100th birthday \[people\] will demand a rewrite of the life scripts’ ([Study)](https://qz.com/1327372/do-longer-lives-mean-that-one-lifelong-marriage-isnt-enough/). To put it simply, with increasing life expectancies, people are less likely to stay in a situation where they are unhappy. Social mobility also plays a crucial role in these figures – especially from a female perspective. Women are no longer as reliant upon their husbands to maintain their lifestyle and, as such, are more likely to file for a divorce. Furthermore, peaceful or no-fault divorces enable couples to separate with grace and dignity, as opposed to a long overdrawn court case. As a result, if you fall into this demographic and are considering separating from your partner – you aren’t alone. However, you must understand the challenges of these processes ahead of time so that you can prepare yourself for what lies ahead. **The Divorce Process.** Whether the decision to separate is a new one, or you and your spouse have been living separate lives for a while, having an understanding of the legal process will help make your next steps as easy and stress-free as possible for all involved. For example, both parties must understand [what you really lose when you go after your spouse in the divorce](https://dwdignity.com/what-you-really-lose-when-you-go-after-your-spouse-in-divorce/) and the merits of parting amicably. This is particularly important if you have a lot of shared assets, own your home, and have joint bank accounts and pension schemes. For example,[ avoiding post-divorce litigation ](https://dwdignity.com/reducing-your-chances-of-post-divorce-litigation/)can speed up the process, saving you time, energy and [money. ](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-mean-financial-ruin/) During this time, it’s also crucial that you work with a Divorce Provider who can talk you through every step of the process so that you know what to expect – whether they are breaking down complicated legal jargon or helping you to manage your expectations. **The Question Of The Future.** Regardless of how old you may be when divorcing, it’s typical to feel anxious about the future. For example, some divorcees worry about future dating prospects or having to move out of their home or feelings of isolation and loneliness. Of course, these questions seem to be intensified the older you are, as many people mistakenly believe it’s too late for them to enact change in their lives. As a result, they may try to resign themselves to a future of being alone. However, it’s important to note that this does not have to be the case. In fact, there are an[ increasing amount of adults aged 65+ using dating apps](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/08/10/appy-ever-online-dating-behind-surge-over-65s-getting-remarried/), embarking upon new relationships, or simply finding a new lease for life as a single adult. In any case, being single and happy is better than staying in an unhappy marriage because you’ve been together for so long. Nevertheless, the process will bring around a significant change in your lifestyle and daily habits, which you must be prepared for. You must put a plan in place that will allow you to take care of yourself during this time. **The Reception To Your Divorce.** When a couple divorces, especially after spending a great deal of time together, the event becomes a family affair. And while the process of separation may not affect your adult children in the same way it would if you divorced when they were little, you must prepare yourself for how others will respond to your divorce, too. They will likely have plenty of questions (and maybe a little judgment), but you must remember you are making the right decision for both yourself and your spouse. Sit down with those close to you and [break the news](https://dwdignity.com/time-break-news/) in a calm, collected manner. Remember that much of this process is very personal, meaning you don’t need to let them know every little detail. Make sure you rely on your [support network](https://dwdignity.com/emotional-support-during-divorce/) during this time so that you can also process your own emotions and feelings in a healthy manner. To put it simply, if you and your partner are preparing for a ‘gray divorce,’ then you must be prepared for a pretty significant lifestyle adjustment. However, by [enlisting the support of a DWD provider](https://dwdignity.com/contact-providers/), you can navigate these changes with confidence and dignity – bringing your marriage to a peaceful resolution. This gives you the chance to continue to[ work on your relationship after the divorce](https://dwdignity.com/working-on-your-relationship-even-after-youre-divorced/) while also giving you [the freedom to move on](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-is-a-declaration-of-independence-with-only-two-signers/). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Gray Divorce --- ### [How to Take Care of Yourself after Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-after-divorce/) **Published:** February 23, 2022 **Author:** Farrah **Content:** Whether you are mid-way through the divorce process or have only recently [come to the decision to separate ](https://dwdignity.com/is-it-time-to-make-it-official/)– Valentine’s Day was likely a difficult mark on your calendar. Regardless of whether or not you often celebrated the Hallmark-Movie of holidays, being alone at a time where everyone is celebrating their relationships and plastering their love all over social media can be incredibly difficult, isolating, and hard to process. However, it does not have to be! Here are some top tips that you can use to guide you through this difficult time and take better care of yourself during the divorce process. **Remember that love comes in many forms.** While we are often taught to view love as something romantic, shared between partners or spouses, remember that there are a lot more forms of love in your life that you can celebrate at this time. For example, you can celebrate the love you share with your family, close friends, and your children. These forms of love are just as valid as any relationship you have experienced. **Stay away from social media.** While there *are* many benefits to social media, logging out when you aren’t feeling your best is a great way to protect your inner peace. This is because it stops you from comparing your experience to that of others and allows you to dedicate your precious time and energy elsewhere. However, it is also important to remember that [social media is not a reflection of ](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1461444819888720)real life – we only post our best moments for the world to see and not everything that happens behind the scenes. So, even if it looks like others are living their best lives while you’re struggling – it’s likely not the case. **Focus on self-care.** Focusing on yourself is a great way to pass the time moving forward, especially if you’re spending more time alone than ever before. Remember, the longest relationship you will have in your life is with yourself – and spending time working on this will never be wasted time. In fact, learning to love yourself will help you know your worth and navigate any [future relationships](https://dwdignity.com/dating-after-divorce/) moving forward. It will also help you build your confidence and give you the chance to re-discover the joy of spending time alone. During this time, it’s also crucial that you reach out to those around you if you need [help or support.](https://dwdignity.com/california-courts-self-help-resources-for-divorce/) Remember, there is always someone willing to listen to what you have to say. **Plan a fun activity on the day.** Finding other ways to spend your time is a great way to navigate your life as a recently-divorced single, and thankfully there are plenty of options for you to consider. For example, you could plan a fun day out for you and your children or try out an activity or hobby you have always wanted to participate in. To put it simply, give yourself the opportunity to have fun and make the most out of a day that would otherwise have caused you to feel stressed. **Remember why you made the decision to divorce.** When you are surrounded by people discussing all things romance, it’s easy for you to begin to question the decisions that have left you in this position in the first place. However, in doing so – you should remember why you decided to get divorced in the first place. [You deserve to be happy](https://dwdignity.com/are-you-in-a-happy-marriage/) and content, and your previous relationship was not meeting your needs or standards, meaning that it was time to move on to [new beginnings](https://dwdignity.com/new-life-new-beginnings-in-2022/). ![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/cb3acd825cf2fa9400243c673de18bfbb9077883dcb3d6bad6b2af06770cf9c1?s=300&d=mm&r=g) Farrah [See Full Bio](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) [ ](https://dwdignity.com/author/farrah/) **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce, Life After Divorce --- ### [Can A Couple Use the Same Attorney to Process Their Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/can-a-couple-use-the-same-attorney-to-process-their-divorce/) **Published:** August 18, 0211 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** We had a couple contract with us after hiring an attorney to work with both of them. Their complaint was that after they paid the retainer, nothing was done on their divorce. **Content:** # Can A Couple Use the Same Attorney to Process Their Divorce? Aug 18, 0211 | [Dealing with Divorce Lawyers](https://dwdignity.com/category/dealing-with-divorce-lawyers/) **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** Adversarial, amicable divorce, divorce attorneys, family law, Independent Paralegals, Lega; Document Prepares, Litigation, Mediators --- ### [How I Budgeted For My Legal Separation – A Client’s Story](https://dwdignity.com/how-i-budgeted-for-my-legal-separation-a-clients-story/) **Published:** August 16, 0212 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Whether a couple is going through a divorce or opting for a legal separation, finances are always an issue to be dealt with. Getting a clear picture of your financial situation, and then figuring out how to budget for the legal work and the change in living expenses is critical. **Content:** Whether a couple is going through a divorce or opting for a legal separation, finances are always an issue to be dealt with. Getting a clear picture of your financial situation, and then figuring out how to budget for the legal work and the change in living expenses is critical. In this article we are sharing the experience of one of our clients regarding finances and budgeting when she decided to go through the process of legal separation from her husband. **What were your financial circumstances when you decided to separate – did both you and your spouse have separate incomes?** I was working full time; he was only working part time and not strongly looking for another position. I had the bulk of the financial responsibility. We had been married almost 20 years, but it was time to go our separate ways. I didn’t want to divorce him because I wanted him to still be eligible for medical benefits on my insurance. So I decided on a legal separation. **Did you put money aside before definitely deciding on the separation?** A little, but not very much. It was hard to save money because of the financial strain he was putting on me, but I worked hard to put money aside because the separation was important to me. **Did you consider hiring a lawyer?** I investigated that – some friends had referred me to some lawyers. But at the $300 per hour they charged, I knew it was impossible for me to afford to hire one. **How did you learn about Divorce With Dignity (**[www.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)**)?** A friend recommended it. They had used the service for their divorce and were very pleased with how it came out. **Did your Divorce With Dignity provider help you with budgetary matters?** She met with both me and my spouse and helped us to draft the marital settlement for the separation, which of course involved some financial issues. I also appreciated that she was very patient with me and allowed me to make payments as we went along instead of asking for all the money up front. **Did she refer you to any financial support professionals?** She recommended a few, but I didn’t go at the time because I felt confident since I was basically paying for everything as it was and was doing it ok. I knew I could handle it on my own. Eventually, though, I did meet with a financial planner just to make sure I was on the right track, and found out I wasn’t as bad off as I thought I was. **Do you have any financial / budgeting advice for someone who is considering separation or divorce?** Put away as much money as you can as soon as you can. If you are working, separate your financial accounts and close any joint credit cards or have your name removed from them. Otherwise your spouse can steal you blind. When I made the decision to separate, I immediately separated our accounts. I left him the joint account and opened a new one for myself only. I also recommend that you remove all checkbooks and credit cards from the house. I gathered mine and stored them in a secure place at work, but apparently I missed one. He found it and ran up a $2,000 bill. Our Divorce With Dignity Network providers understand that each divorce or legal separation is unique and the finances and budgeting involved can be complex. We are here to help you work through this process, providing referrals to financial support professionals if needed. Our goal is to help you achieve an amicable divorce or legal separation that is affordable. Visit us at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) to find a Divorce With Dignity provider in your area. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** Divorce Advice, divorce and money, Divorce support, Financial Planning For Divorce, financial planning for legal separation, marital settlement --- ### [Am I A Bad Person Because I’m Thinking of Getting a Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/am-i-a-bad-person-because-im-thinking-of-getting-a-divorce/) **Published:** November 12, 2010 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Wow, it’s really a tough decision to decide whether or not to divorce and it might take a long time to make this decision. First of all, I would discuss your feelings with your spouse, and start to find answers to the following questions: **Content:** # Am I A Bad Person Because I’m Thinking of Getting a Divorce? Nov 12, 2010 | [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** divorce assistance, divorce help, divorce service --- ### [Deciding on Divorce or Legal Separation](https://dwdignity.com/deciding-on-divorce-or-legal-separation/) **Published:** March 8, 1012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Trying to decide whether or not to divorce and break up a family has got to be one of the more heart-wrenching decisions in someone’s life. We talked with one of our Divorce With Dignity clients this week about her experience with this. We’ll call her “Carol” (not her real name) to respect her privacy. **Content:** Trying to decide whether or not to divorce and break up a family has got to be one of the more heart-wrenching decisions in someone’s life. We talked with one of our Divorce With Dignity clients this week about her experience with this. We’ll call her “Carol” (not her real name) to respect her privacy. Carol wasn’t sure what to do when she found out that her husband wanted to call it quits. It was really hard to come to terms with the fact that she was going to be alone after 22 years of marriage. She knew about Divorce With Dignity and decided to come in to talk about what would be best for her to do. Although their relationship had changed, neither she nor her husband was ready for a divorce. In addition, they still owned a house together that they didn’t want to lose. After considering divorce and all its ramifications, they decided that a legal separation would be the best way to go. I asked Carol how her Divorce With Dignity provider helped them to make this decision. She told me that the provider was able to lay out the options in a practical, non-emotional way. “When you take the emotion out of it, what you are left with is just the situation,” she explained. This helped both Carol and her spouse to feel at ease, and they were able to understand how a legal separation would be in both their best interests. Carol acknowledges that at first she was in such an emotional state that she wasn’t thinking clearly. But her provider “sat me down in a non-threatening environment and explained how things work”. At the end, “you have this wonderful feeling, in spite of everything else, that everything is going to work out for you, and you can relax and get on with your life”. Another thing that made both Carol and her husband happy in this process was the cost factor. There is a huge difference in the amount of money you pay to work with a legal services provider rather than a divorce attorney. If you are struggling with the decision to divorce or legally separate, let Divorce With Dignity guide you through the maze and help you part without litigation and save thousands of dollars in the process. We can help you get through this – with peace and dignity. To find a provider in your area, visit us at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** considering divorce, deciding to divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Process, legal separation --- ### [Hire the Meanest, Toughest Attorney and Go for Everything](https://dwdignity.com/hire-the-meanest-toughest-attorney-and-go-for-everything/) **Published:** March 10, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** First of all, I know you hate your spouse right now or you wouldn’t be thinking divorce. Okay, maybe hate is a little strong for many of us, but one of you really wants to move on and you have no choice but to go through a divorce. So why shouldn’t you hire the meanest, toughest attorney you can find and go for EVERYTHING? The reasons are many, but to begin with—you’re not going to get EVERYTHING—no matter what they’ve done! You’re going to get whatever your attorney works out with the other attorney according to the rules of your state. I’ve been there. I tried it; I lost—not only once; I lost twice. But it only took two losses and a ton of legal fees for me to figure out that maybe I should just talk to my Ex—I know I really couldn’t stand you, Ex, but what did I to lose? I’d already spent everything I had fighting you in court and lost; so either I walked away like a nice person and worked two or three jobs to send our children to a decent school, or I could talk it out with you and see if you wanted your children to go to one of the worst schools around and probably end up in the criminal justice system. Guess what? He agreed, and off our children went to PRIVATE school which we both paid for equally, and I only had to work my one job once I finished paying off my legal fees for losing twice. Message of the Day: You can talk to your spouse; no matter what your attorney says! Why do you think your attorney doesn’t want you to talk? You might settle; then they get less. They want to settle for you and have you pay them to do that. That really only works if you’re afraid of your spouse, or your spouse is not mentally able to have a reasonable conversation with you—yes, I know, you don’t think they’re capable of that, but do you want to spend $20,000 to find out? Of course, if you have a really nice attorney who talks really nice to both of you, and you need this third party to help you talk and make sense, go for it. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** Conflict Resolution, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce support, Uncontested Divorce --- ### [I Fired My Attorney and Survived!](https://dwdignity.com/i-fired-my-attorney-and-survived/) **Published:** November 5, 2010 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** I once had an attorney ask me, “If you were on an operating table would you question what the doctor was doing?” That sure was a great technique, and I ended up paying him a bundle. Well, times change, and these days we even need an advocate for dealing with hospitals, doctors, etc., because no one wants us to know anything—the same applies to law—you deserve to know how it’s going to work and what to expect. **Content:** I once had an attorney ask me, “If you were on an operating table would you question what the doctor was doing?” That sure was a great technique, and I ended up paying him a bundle. Well, times change, and these days we even need an advocate for dealing with hospitals, doctors, etc., because no one wants us to know anything—the same applies to law—you deserve to know how it’s going to work and what to expect. How many times have I heard, my attorney is stalling and I don’t know what to do, or my attorney won’t settle, or I’m afraid to call my attorney because it costs so much money? Well, they may think they have you over a barrel because they’ve convinced you that they’re the only one who can help you get a divorce. Wrong, wrong, wrong. There are lots of other attorneys, mediators, and paralegals who can help you through this process. Don’t forget, you’re their customer and who’s always right? The Customer!! You need to control your process and be in charge. You may not know how to get through the legal system, but there are many professionals who do, and as long as you know what you want and how the laws in your state work, you should be able to get your divorce in a timely manner. And if you and your spouse can agree, wow, that can save you thousands of dollars, frustration, and months, maybe even years, in finalizing your divorce. So demand that your attorney does what you want them to do; and if they don’t want to do that, then you can dismiss their services. That’s right—you have the power—you actually have the right to control your divorce; not only the right—your crazy if you don’t take charge and make sure you’re getting what you want. ***Message of the Day***: If you don’t get along with your attorney, or agree with their methods, you can dismiss them and start with another professional. It’s probably going to save you a lot of time and money in the long run, so cut your losses and take control of your process. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** divorce, family law attorneys --- ### [Why an amicable divorce is your best solution!](https://dwdignity.com/why-an-amicable-divorce-is-your-best-solution/) **Published:** October 7, 2009 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Why should anyone consider an amicable, or peaceful, divorce? Is this a crazy question or what? Divorce is a war, divorce is a death, and yet, divorce can be your New Beginning eventually. Almost 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, and the effects are devastating. **Content:** Why should anyone consider an amicable, or peaceful, divorce? Is this a crazy question or what? Divorce is a war, divorce is a death, and yet, divorce can be your New Beginning eventually. Almost 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, and the effects are devastating. You’re probably reading this blog because you are about to divorce or have been affected by a divorce. I will try to help you regain your confidence and manipulate the mine fields of your divorce so you can obtain a peaceful resolution. I know you didn’t want to be here; neither did I. My process was not dignified—it was war and it was a war which no one won. It killed my spirit for a long time, and my children suffered—fights in school, bad talk, etc. But we survived and it lead me on a journey to explore these issues deeply and help people avoid getting caught up in the system, which really doesn’t care for you at all. It’s a money-making system that’s evolved through time, and like many of our other bureaucracies, it needs to change. So I hope that I can help you move forward in positive new directions, rather than see you hold yourself back engulfed in your anger and depression. It’s your choice and it’s a very difficult one to make, but I want to share some information with you to help you on your journey. I will try to walk you through the process as simply as possible. I am not an attorney, so I won’t be giving you any legal advice on this blog. I will just be sharing life experiences with you supported by facts, experiences and stories from the many people who have been able to walk the path of an amicable divorce. This blog will focus on three main topics: the emotional issues; how to navigate the legal system; and success and disaster stories of real people’s divorces, as well as input from other divorce experts. Stay tuned for our next post. **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce --- ### [Are You Feeling All Alone?](https://dwdignity.com/are-you-feeling-all-alone/) **Published:** March 16, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Well, you certainly don’t have to do this all by yourself; there is a lot of support available to help you get through your divorce, and the support this article discusses refers to support outside the legal profession. **Content:** # Are You Feeling All Alone? Mar 16, 2011 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/) **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** Divorce Advice, Divorce Process, Divorce Recovery, Divorce support --- ### [Divorce Court—Private School Issue?](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-court-private-school-issue/) **Published:** July 26, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** You want your children to go to private school, so do you hire an attorney and battle it out in court or try to talk to each other? Depends on the process you use to go through your divorce. If you have an attorney, they will tell you not to talk to your Ex. **Content:** You want your children to go to private school, so do you hire an attorney and battle it out in court or try to talk to each other? Depends on the process you use to go through your divorce. If you have an attorney, they will tell you not to talk to your Ex. My divorce happened about 30 years ago when my children were 7 and 10 years old. My ex and I each had attorneys and we fought it out in court. Not just once, buy many times, which is typical. What did I gain from the court battle using attorneys and not trying to talk to him? The only thing I gained was guideline child support which I was entitled to any way, but didn’t know it. I will admit that I thought that my attorney was very nice and reasonable and his was horrible, but I gained nothing, and it certainly had nothing to do with my attorney being too nice. The big battle that I lost in court on was private school for our children; I lost, completely, and I believe that most people who battle that issue will also lose since the courts are funded from some of the same sources as the schools. So did my children continue in private school? Yes, but only because my ex and I met for lunch on our own and worked out a reasonable deal—he wanted them to get a good education as much as I did, but neither of us could express it to each other because of the way the legal system works—you’re not supposed to talk to each other. Now this blog is totally not to promote private schools. I believe in public schools and hope to see them improving, but at the time, we lived in a big city and the schools were just horrible. Since our children started school, they had always gone to private school, and I just wanted them to finish that, and so did my ex, and that’s what happened. The point here is that it wasn’t through the legal system that I obtained results—it was through personal communication with my Ex! Wow, and yet it cost me bundles to take it to court and lose; in fact, it cost both of us a lot of money and wasted time. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** annulment of marriage, child support, Divorce And Children, divorce attorneys, family law court, private school --- ### [Divorce with Dignity? Really?](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-with-dignity-really/) **Published:** March 30, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** “No way!” he said. “Just can’t happen.” This was the response I got when I tried to explain the Divorce with Dignity Network and it’s vision to a friend, who is still reeling from the aftermath of a divorce that was final 3 years ago. **Content:** “No way!” he said. “Just can’t happen.” This was the response I got when I tried to explain the Divorce with Dignity Network and it’s vision to a friend, who is still reeling from the aftermath of a divorce that was final 3 years ago. I am divorced and in my mind, it can happen – but you need two things. You need two people who really desire and agree to keep things as ‘nice’ as possible and, you need a Divorce with Dignity professional. What does the Divorce with Dignity professional provide? Two more things: information and guidance mixed in with experience. There’s a lot of information out there about divorce and how to do it. The paperwork is lengthy and time-consuming for the inexperienced. Most people find it difficult to stay focused and on track when you are going through the emotional roller coaster of a divorce. And, some people might find it difficult to be ‘nice’ during this stressful transition. A Divorce with Dignity provider offers a safe place for a couple to get to know their options and discuss them. All the information necessary for a divorce in their state is readily available in one place. A ‘road map’ is provided! A couple can then decide what’s best for them, without having to navigate through the divorce on opposite sides at a much higher price. “Yes,” I answer. “There really is such a thing as a Divorce with Dignity!” — Written by Susan Elwell, Director of Sales, Divorce With Dignity Network, Inc. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** collaborative divorce, divorce and the family, divorce articles, divorce professionals, family law --- ### [How Do You Feel When You Think About Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/how-do-you-feel-when-you-think-about-divorce/) **Published:** March 23, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** I bet you don’t feel very good. Do you feel like a failure? Are you unhappy? Are you sad? Are you feeling frustrated? Are you feeling helpless? Are you feeling like you don’t know what to do? Well, I know you’re feeling all these things and more. **Content:** I bet you don’t feel very good. Do you feel like a failure? Are you unhappy? Are you sad? Are you feeling frustrated? Are you feeling helpless? Are you feeling like you don’t know what to do? Well, I know you’re feeling all these things and more. These are all very natural feelings considering what you’re thinking about. Allow your feelings in; don’t try to run away from them. One of my mentors says that we have to stand in the “muck” before we can move forward. I know it feels just terrible and you really don’t want to be here. And you probably won’t be able to hear much of what I, or others, have to say, other than the negatives right now, because that’s where you’re at. However, I’m going to try to say a few things and maybe one of them will help you. You may not think you will this, but you will get through it. You have survived many other bad things and this is no exception. It will be life changing and you’re probably very scared about what your “new life” is going to look like. When I left my children’s father, we had very little furniture and used our coffee table for our dining room table— I insisted that the three of us continue to have our family meals together, sitting on the floor eating off that table—we were a team and we were going to make it through this ordeal. That’s all I knew and I just kept on trying to find normalcy and develop as much of a routine as I could with my two children and our few possessions. Well, it’s now many years later and my two children are adults and each very happy with their lives. They are in successful love relationships, have lots of material possessions and love LIFE! I do, too, so I just want to let you know that you will see your life change and you will grow into the new PERSON and find the real you through all of this!! If you don’t, you may stay a victim and resent your spouse and your life. Which would you rather have: a satisfying, happy, fulfilled life, or a life of disappointments, anger and frustration? Not much of a choice, but it is your choice right now. So even though you are currently miserable; everything changes and you will too. Feel your unhappiness and when you’re ready, take a step; then another step and another, and you’ll eventually find yourself exploring new opportunities and even new love relationships. You’ll also find yourself getting more in touch with YOU—we can’t love anyone until we learn to love ourselves first. Because how can we express love, if we can’t feel it ourselves? This has certainly been a life lesson for me, and each minute, each day, each year, it just becomes so much clearer how I have changed and how I now truly love and respect myself. So take a deep breathe, have a good cry and then take one little baby step to do something that you enjoy, something that makes you feel good. Just one little thing. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** Divorce Advice, Divorce Recovery, Divorce support --- ### [How Long Does It Take to Heal After a Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/how-long-does-it-take-to-heal-after-a-divorce/) **Published:** July 19, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Depends on the process you use to go through your divorce. If you have an attorney, it may take years to heal. My divorce happened about 30 years ago when my children were 7 and 10 years old. My ex and I each had attorneys and we fought it out in court. Not just once, buy many times, which is typical. **Content:** Depends on the process you use to go through your divorce. If you have an attorney, it may take years to heal. My divorce happened about 30 years ago when my children were 7 and 10 years old. My ex and I each had attorneys and we fought it out in court. Not just once, buy many times, which is typical. And we suffered and our children suffered for years because we were so mad at each other. Just recently, we were together at our daughter’s wedding and how different it was. It was almost magical; like we were to same two people we were when we first met. How weird is that? But now that we no longer depend on each other and each have fulfilling lives and our children are doing well, it’s okay to be friends—we once had a great love for each other and that love just doesn’t disappear. In fact, I think we just bury it under all the anger and hospitality. How awful, really, that it took us both so long to be able to face each other with love, kindness, respect and happiness—to be the people we once were when we met and fell in love. To let the walls down and be friends—we shared so much and we produced wonderful children; why should we not still love and respect each other? It is such a shame that just because you cannot live with someone under the “legal” rules of marriage, that a divorce has to take you on such a roller coaster ride. And I really don’t think that it has to be that way. Now that I’ve made it my life purpose to help people receive a divorce without litigation, I have seen many couples go through their transition and come out as “friends,” “partners” and “good parents.” Rather than stroke each other’s anger which the litigious system in the courts encourage, these couples were able to deal with the major issues and get lots of support and help with their emotional issues, so that they could walk down the divorce path with dignity, and help each other and their families start over peacefully. Divorce is very painful, but don’t think that the court system is going to help you soften the blow and ease your pain—it’s going to do just the opposite. It’s an adversarial system, so you’ll be at war with each other. Hold on to your pride and respect, and get the support you need to help you achieve a divorce that’s as peaceful and without litigation as possible. You will then start your New Beginning with respect for yourself and help your family move forward and not stay stuck in the past. Life goes pretty quickly, so I know I want to do everything I can to enjoy my life and find peace and contentment. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** divorce amicably, divorce attorneys, Divorce Recovery, divorce with dignity, family law court, recover from divorce --- ### [How To Go Through A Divorce With Dignity?](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-go-through-a-divorce-with-dignity/) **Published:** May 4, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. **Content:** A **divorce with dignity** means to go through a divorce without litigation and make it as peaceful a process as possible. By doing this, you retain your own dignity, help your family move forward into their new life patterns and retain their dignity and self-respect, and, literally, save thousands of dollars. A divorce with dignity is done by utilizing the support of as many services as you need to get through this process peacefully. It doesn’t mean going through the process alone. However, you want to make sure that whoever you add to your “divorce” team that they fully believe and support you in going through this process without having to litigate and achieving an amicable divorce. You start the process by talking to your spouse and seeing if they feel the same way that you do. If you’re not ready to have the “talk” then you might want to talk to a therapist or coach to help you figure out if you really want to divorce, or if the marriage can be saved. If you decide to proceed with the process, then you definitely want to have the discussion with your spouse and see if they feel the same way. You may need at least five main types of support to help you through this difficult process: 1\. Legal support: a. Independent Paralegal or Document Preparation Service b. Mediator c. Family Law Attorney 2\. Financial support: a. CPA b. Financial Planner c. Divorce Financial Planner 3\. Emotional support: a. Marriage and Family Therapist b. Divorce Coach c. Divorce support groups d. Your church e. Your friends 4\. Support for your children a. Psychologist b. Your church c. Support groups, such as Kids Turn d. Their teachers 5\. Health support for yourself a. Your doctor b. Chiropractor c. Gym d. Acupuncturist e. Nutritritionist Whatever you do, get all the support you can. This is the “death of your marriage” that you are experiencing and it’s important that you take very good care of yourself during this transition. The offices at Divorce With Dignity can help you put together your support team. [Find the Divorce With Dignity office nearest you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce, family law attorneys, peaceful divorce, support in divorce --- ### [My Attorney Will Get Me Whatever I Want Because I Deserve It](https://dwdignity.com/my-attorney-will-get-me-whatever-i-want-because-i-deserve-it/) **Published:** April 20, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Your spouse just walked out; left you, and then to top it off had you served with divorce papers. Now, you’re going to hire your own family law attorney and GET THEM BACK!! You’ll show them that they can’t do that to you. **Content:** Your spouse just walked out; left you, and then to top it off had you served with divorce papers. Now, you’re going to hire your own family law attorney and GET THEM BACK!! You’ll show them that they can’t do that to you. Unfortunately, a lot of us think that this works. Well, it doesn’t. Sure sometimes it will but the odds are pretty slim. Each court has to follow the law so you can each have a family law attorney and fight over whatever you choose to fight about—your attorney gets paid whether or not you win or lose, so what’s in it for you? Consider divorce mediation—a wonderful way to resolve your differences. Some divorce mediators are even attorneys, although they totally won’t litigate your case. Their purpose and training is to assist you resolve your differences and come up with solutions that you can both agree on, and they are completely neutral in helping you through this very difficult process. I know you’re hurt, you may not even want a divorce, and you really don’t want to come up with an agreement. Here’s just a look at some of the things you might get by litigating: - Lots of stress - Costs thousands of dollars - Could be an even worse outcome than if you mediated; might be better—depends on what you’re mediating and the law—be sure to do a cost comparison to see if it’s worth it - Sometimes takes years to complete - You’ll be angry at your spouse for a really long time - Sometimes your real needs are overlooked as your family law attorney is presenting the case they feel is best for you—not necessarily what you feel is best for you Here are a few of the outcomes you might receive from mediating your case with a divorce mediator: - Makes it a lot easier to get through the process since you’re needs are being acknowledged and addressed - Saves you thousands of dollars - You play a key role in the outcome of your matter - Can sometimes move faster than a litigated matter; really depends on what you’re mediating and both parties - Allows you to heal much faster and actually find peace with yourself and your spouse Message of the Day: If you’re not in agreement at least try divorce mediation to resolve your differences; you can each have your own attorney but divorce mediation will help you come to agreements faster. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** divorce mediation, Family law attorney, negative divorce --- ### [My Spouse Did Not Want A Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/my-spouse-did-not-want-a-divorce/) **Published:** June 2, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** A client whom I’ll call John came into our office just before the holidays and he was very distressed and didn’t know what to do. He really felt that he needed to divorce but his wife did not want the divorce and she was very upset about the whole process. **Content:** A client whom I’ll call John came into our office just before the holidays and he was very distressed and didn’t know what to do. He really felt that he needed to divorce but his wife did not want the divorce and she was very upset about the whole process. Emotions were really flying out of control and he totally hoped that eventually they could work together and divorce amicably. So after talking to John and going over the process, he decided that he needed to proceed for his own peace of mind, but that he would just start the documents and wait until after the holidays to discuss further with his wife. We started the documents, and then once the holidays were over, he asked his wife to come into our office and get involved with the process. She was very upset when she came in and did not feel safe or want to discuss anything. However, after listening to her and letting her talk for a while, she calmed down and eventually came to the realization that it would do no good to try to stop the process and that if she worked with her husband to try to figure everything out, she would probably be okay and they could obtain a peaceful divorce. In fact, she then became the lead person to let us know of changes and modifications they wanted to their agreement, which he was very happy to have her do, as he was agreeable to almost anything in order to get through the process amicably and move on. If both parties can feel “safe” in going through their difficult divorce transition, that allows them to discuss the issues and figure out what to do. We always recommend divorce mediation to our clients if they get stuck and cannot agree on certain things, which means they only have to mediate the points they are not in agreement on; not the whole proceeding. So there are many ways to work with couples to help them through this difficult situation. If you are considering divorce, please find a service where you feel safe, where they will treat you both with respect and fairly and help you obtain an amicable divorce. Of course, I would always recommend that you begin with a Divorce with Dignity provider so that you can start the process in a safe environment, save thousands of dollars and retain your dignity and self respect. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce, divorce mediation, i want a divorce but my husband doesn’t, my husband wants a divorce and i don’t, peaceful divorce --- ### [Should the Royal Couple Have a Prenuptial Agreement?](https://dwdignity.com/should-the-royal-couple-have-a-prenuptial-agreement/) **Published:** April 27, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Well, with the upcoming “royal” wedding upon us, what do you think about them getting a prenup? According to an article on Yahoo, “In a poll currently being conducted by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, 66 percent of respondents have voted ‘yes’ in favor of a sensible prenuptial for William and Katherine. **Content:** Well, with the upcoming “royal” wedding upon us, what do you think about them getting a prenup? According to an article on Yahoo, “In a poll currently being conducted by the [Canadian Broadcasting Corporation](http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/ac/en_ac/storytext/8313249_perhaps_kate_and_william_should_have_a_prenuptial_agreement/41148276/SIG=13hkccvp3/*http:/www.cbc.ca/news/yourcommunity/2011/04/royal-prenup-should-will-and-kate-sign-a-prenuptial-agreement.html), 66 percent of respondents have voted ‘yes’ in favor of a sensible prenuptial for William and Katherine. “ So I guess there’s a lot of support for this. Do you have a prenuptial agreement? Most of us do not; do we need one? Well, I’ve been divorced for many years, and if I were to tie the knot again, I know that I would want a prenup. It’s very important to me that my children receive my assets and I know of no better way to convey that then by having a written agreement so we both put our cards on the table before we make the big leap. Money is such a difficult subject to discuss when you’re in love, romantic and thinking about your wonderful day when you join forces. But how many divorces happen due to money issues? A lot of them; it’s my belief after being in this industry for 16 years, that marriages become difficult for two main reasons, which are: money issues and lack of communication. A lot of the money problems happen because the two people involved have very different ideas about how to spend and save money resulting in opposing money habits that are difficult to reconcile. It’s often that one is a spendthrift and the other a saver. In fact, I know of a lot of cases, where one person sneaks their spending and is not honest to the other party about what they do with their money. Well, a prenup won’t solve these problems, but it can help to sort them out and bring the discussion to a level where you can figure you how to protect yourself and still marry your love. It’s much better than going into something blindly or naively and getting into a difficult marriage. With the divorce rate at 50%, whatever you can do before you marry to address your issues will help you have a more satisfying marriage. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** britishroyalwedding, prenup, prenuptial agreements, royal couple, what is a prenuptial agreement, what is prenup --- ### [Should you litigate or mediate?](https://dwdignity.com/should-you-litigate-or-mediate/) **Published:** September 13, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Just as there are different types of divorce, there are also different ways to divorce. The two main ways are litigation and mediation. **Content:** **Different ways to divorce** Just as there are different types of divorce, there are also different ***ways*** to divorce. The two main ways are litigation and mediation. Litigated divorce requires both parties to hire divorce lawyers who will prepare the legal paperwork that needs to be processed by the court before the trial, and who will represent them in the court proceedings. The goal of each attorney is to get the best deal for his or her client. By nature, this sets up an adversarial situation. Mediated divorce involves both parties and a neutral mediator meeting together to discuss the issues and work on conflict resolution. Mediation takes place outside of court, but all agreements signed by both parties become court orders and have the same binding effect as decisions made in a litigated divorce. **Comparing litigation to mediation** The ***way*** you choose to divorce will have a profound effect on many aspects of the divorce process and results. Some of these are: **Control over decisions** - Litigation: The judge rules on the issues in dispute. - Mediation: You and your spouse decide on the resolutions. **Pace** - Litigation: The time it takes for litigated divorce proceedings depends on the schedules of the attorneys and the court. It usually is a long, drawn-out process. - Mediation: You schedule mediation at your own convenience, and you decide how fast or slow you want to take it. **Flexibility** - Litigation: The court determines the terms of child custody, and any changes will require a return to court. - Mediation: You and your spouse choose how you will handle custody and visitation. You can try out different arrangements and modify them without having to go to court. **Privacy** - Litigation: Your personal financial information becomes public record. Details of the case from the filed declarations (including accusations you and your spouse make against each other) also become public records available for viewing by anyone. - Mediation: There are no filed declarations. Mediation is confidential and takes place in a private conference room. **Fairness** - Litigation: Your divorce settlement may be affected by the aggressiveness of your lawyer compared to the opposing lawyer, the mood of the judge, and other factors out of your control. - Mediation: With the help of the mediator, you and your spouse can negotiate a settlement that is fair to both sides. The two of you are in control of the outcome. **Compliance** - Litigation: The lack of control and participation felt by one or both spouses may result in feelings of not being committed to comply with the court’s decisions. - Mediation: When both spouses are involved in making the decisions, they are more likely to comply with the plans. **Costs** - Litigation: Very expensive - Mediation: Much less expensive **Effect on the children** - Litigation: If child custody is an unresolved issue, the family (including the children) may have to undergo invasive psychological evaluations. In addition, the arguments and accusations brought up in court will take a detrimental emotional toll on the kids. - Mediation: The children can be protected from intrusive and emotionally upsetting proceedings. **Emotional impact** - Litigation: Emotionally draining. The nature of the court proceedings can bring out feelings of hostility, self-doubt, bitterness, and resentment. - Mediation: Dignity and peace. Working with your spouse for the good of each other and the children can produce feelings of competency, integrity, and doing the right thing. **Will mediation work for you?** To be successful, mediation requires open communication and a willingness on the part of each spouse to be reasonable. Ask yourself these questions – - Do we agree on the major issues? - Do we feel we can work out the minor issues with a little help from a neutral third party? - Do we agree to put these decisions in writing, and agree to comply in good faith? - Are we both willing to put the best interests of the children first? - Are we both willing to be fair towards each other? If you answered yes to all these questions, a successful mediated divorce can be yours. This option will offer you a less stressful, less expensive, quicker, and more collaborative settlement. To learn more about your divorce options, get divorce support, or find a mediator, [contact your local Divorce With Dignity office](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** child custody, collaborative law, Conflict Resolution, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, mediation --- ### [Stalling Divorce: Should I or Shouldn’t I?](https://dwdignity.com/stalling-divorce-should-i-or-shouldnt-i/) **Published:** May 18, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** If I don’t sign the divorce paperwork, can I stall my divorce and should I attempt to do this? It seems to make sense that by not signing your divorce paperwork, that it will give you more time to figure out what you want to do and possibly get back together with your spouse who has filed for divorce. **Content:** If I don’t sign the divorce paperwork, can I stall my divorce and should I attempt to do this? It seems to make sense that by not signing your divorce paperwork, that it will give you more time to figure out what you want to do and possibly get back together with your spouse who has filed for divorce. I’ve been working in this industry for over 16 years, and about 5% of the cases in our office reconcile, but usually only for a short period of time. Some couples do pull their relationship back together, but very few. So you have to figure out what do you want to do? Will it be to your advantage to stall the procedure? Will it cost you a lot more in attorney fees by doing this? Do you really believe that you and your spouse might reconcile? If so, what does your spouse think? If you both believe there’s a chance to reconcile, you can just put the whole proceeding on hold and get into therapy. But if your spouse definitely wants a divorce, stalling is probably just going to cost you a lot more money and extend your pain even further. Please stop and think, what do YOU want; really, really want? Do you want to pay a lot in attorney fees to punish your spouse for leaving you? Guess who you’re punishing by doing that—divorce is very emotional and the legal system cannot help you solve your emotional problems according to Ed Sherman in his book, “Make Any Divorce Better,” . Only you can answer that question, and once you answer it; how do you get it? If you want your old relationship back, it will only happen if you both are willing to work to make it happen; it’s very hard to go back once you’ve come this far. So how do you salvage what you have, and start healing and putting yourself back together after all you’ve been through? It’s going to take you some time, but you are going to make it and you are actually somehow going to turn this from lemons into lemonade. Eventually, you might even find yourself in a much better relationship with someone who really, really cares for you and vice versa. Divorce is such an emotional process and only you can work through these issues. Of course, there’s lots of help available to support you; contact your local Divorce with Dignity office if you need help or referrals; www.findaprovider.dwdignity.com. Message of the Day: You can stall but stalling usually ends up costing you more money and extending the pain unless you’re both willing to work at reconciliation. If you can’t reconcile, then start thinking about taking care of yourself and figuring out what you really want—this is your chance to make that happen. It is going to get a whole lot better eventually!! **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** attorney fees, divorce court fees, emotional divorce, signing divorce papers --- ### [Top 5 Benefits of a Peaceful Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/top-5-benefits-of-a-peaceful-divorce/) **Published:** April 13, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Breaking up is hard to do whether you’ve been together for 1 year or more than 20 years; the main difference is how we choose to go through the process and ask for help. If you are able to get through this difficult process utilizing support, **Content:** 1\. You retain your dignity and are able to part not hating each other. Breaking up is hard to do whether you’ve been together for 1 year or more than 20 years; the main difference is how we choose to go through the process and ask for help. If you are able to get through this difficult process utilizing support, such as therapy, mediators, independent paralegals/document preparers and/or “peaceful” attorneys, then you will move apart knowing that you made the right decisions and ready to start the next phase of your journey. If you go the adversarial route, then you part full of anger and hate for each other and wondering why it cost you so much and whether or not you really got what you should have—in other words, full of doubt and insecurity about the whole process. 2\. You save thousands of dollars. A peaceful divorce is much less expensive than litigation. There’s all sorts of support to help you through this peacefully, you just have to look for it. If you use mediators who are attorneys, but will only mediate, you may spend a couple of thousand dollars, but in the end, you will literally save thousands of dollars. In California, a litigated divorce is estimated to cost each party around $18,000 according to the Nolo books. If you are not sure whether or not you can agree, or even need to mediate, it’s always best to visit a local [Divorce with Dignity office](https://dwdignity.com/find-a-provider/) and let them help you figure out the best process to use to get through your difficult transition. 3\. Your children are much better adjusted. It is the author’s belief that our children usually know when things aren’t right in our relationships, and by using the peaceful divorce strategy, you are protecting your children from being put in the middle of a litigated matter. Divorce is a very emotional issue and affects everyone, but there is a lot of support available to help your children through this difficult time. Don’t put your children in the middle of a divorce battle. You can work out your child custody and child support issues either together or with the help of a neutral party. 4\. You are able to work out additional agreements and stipulations after your divorce is final when circumstances change, especially regarding your parenting issues, including child custody and child support. Once you start the litigation process, you almost always have to resort to your attorney when future problems come up; whereas, if you start with a peaceful divorce, you’re usually able to resolve future issues in a more amicable process. 5\. You can move forward in your New Beginning and truly start working on healing and what to do in this next phase of life. You will get through the process faster and find more doors opening for you when you have a positive state of mind. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** child custody, child support, children Of divorce, peaceful divorce --- ### [What If My Spouse Won’t Cooperate in The Divorce Process?](https://dwdignity.com/what-if-my-spouse-wont-cooperate-in-the-divorce-process/) **Published:** August 11, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** No one wants to start a divorce—it’s one of the worse things that you can go through. But if you’re sure that’s what you want—what’s the alternative? Stay in an unhappy marriage for the rest of your life? That’s worse because it lasts forever. At least once the divorce is over, you start to heal and your life truly does get better. **Content:** No one wants to start a divorce—it’s one of the worse things that you can go through. But if you’re sure that’s what you want—what’s the alternative? Stay in an unhappy marriage for the rest of your life? That’s worse because it lasts forever. At least once the divorce is over, you start to heal and your life truly does get better. Let me tell you about a couple I’m working with now, and, of course, their names are fictional. Mary came into our office a couple of months ago and said she wanted to start the paperwork for a divorce because she was sure that’s what she wanted. So we started the paperwork but we really needed cooperation from her husband in order to get through the process as fairly as possible, which is all that Mary wanted to do. So we drafted the paperwork in the hopes that they could get a written agreement which is what she wanted. She actually wanted out and wanted him to have the house, as she just wanted a clean break. But Ben was really mad and didn’t want to cooperate; he didn’t want the divorce at all. However, once he saw the draft of the agreement, he realized that he was not going to be able to stop the process and that she was keeping her word, and agreed to cooperate. You certainly don’t have to give up anything to get the other side to work with you towards an equitable divorce. Usually once they realize that you’re serious and you want to do this as fairly as possible, they will start to go along and work with you. You get a lot more working together using mediation or another form of alternative dispute resolution than threats and litigation in court, at least that’s my experience founded on the results I’ve seen from my clients over the last 16 years. It’s also what Ed Sherman believes based on his book, “[Make Any Divorce Better](http://www.nolotech.com/CA/MADB.html)”. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** alternative dispute resolution, amicable divorce, divorce mediation, peaceful divorce --- ### [What You Lose When You Use An Adversarial Attorney For Your Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/what-you-lose-when-you-use-an-adversarial-attorney-for-your-divorce/) **Published:** May 11, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** You an lose your integrity when you hire a divorce attorney to take advantage of your ex who has hurt you so much. You give up your dignity and self worth. Your attorney has told you that your ex will suffer, especially financially **Content:** You an lose your integrity when you hire a divorce attorney to take advantage of your ex who has hurt you so much. You give up your dignity and self worth. Your attorney has told you that your ex will suffer, especially financially—you’ll win—you’ll get everything, even the kids, and they’ll end up with nothing and have to pay you lots—just what they deserve after treating you so badly. Well, don’t believe everything you hear. Most courts are now set up so that the worse case is dividing marital assets evenly so you each receive a fair share. No matter what your family attorney tells you—you may spend a lot of money fighting over something you’re not going to get. And even worse, it is going to take you back years and you are the one who is going to suffer and have a hard time healing from this devastation. In addition, don’t forget that your spouse is a parent to your children, whether you like it or not, and the court is simply not going to let them drop out of your children’s lives—it’s just not going to happen. Most courts these days want both parents involved in their children’s lives. Now, if your ex is physically abusive or has an addiction that is dangerous for your children that’s a different story. But the court is not going to care that your spouse just decided that they didn’t love you and maybe moved on to another relationship or hurt you so much emotionally that you feel you will never recover. Of course, there are financial benefits you may gain by hiring the most aggressive, expensive divorce attorney you can find, but you might be able to receive these benefits through a mediated process as well, plus you would save anywhere from $20,000 and up, depending on your financial situation. The money you pay to litigate is just money being taken from your assets that could provide you and your children with some pleasure that you may now may not be able to afford. I hope you do understand that you can hire a family law attorney who can help you through this amicably—there are lots of good attorneys you can use to understand your rights and get through the process fairly, but just use commonsense and make sure you feel comfortable dealing with the attorney you hire. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce, divorce attorney, family attorneys, mediation attorney, mediation attorneys --- ### [Will A Divorce Ruin or Save Me?](https://dwdignity.com/will-a-divorce-ruin-or-save-me/) **Published:** June 9, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** You think you want a divorce but you’re so scared that you and your family will be destroyed both financially and emotionally if you decide to move forward. You just don’t know what do and how to make the decision. **Content:** You think you want a divorce but you’re so scared that you and your family will be destroyed both financially and emotionally if you decide to move forward. You just don’t know what do and how to make the decision. You’ve been thinking about this for a long time and deep down you know you’re no longer in love with your spouse. What should you do? Well, first of all, have you tried counseling and/or couples therapy to see if there’s any way to save your marriage and rekindle your love for each other? If you haven’t, that’s probably your first step. And if your spouse won’t go, then you have another answer, as you didn’t cause all the problems in your relationship by yourself. If you have been through therapy and still feel there’s no hope to put the LOVE back in your marriage, then you have to decide what to do. Will you be the better person to live in a loveless marriage because of finances? Or will it end up destroying you? Only you can figure this out, but love is so important in our lives and it keeps us human. Do you want to end up a Stepford Wife or Husband? What will happen if you divorce? Can you survive financially? Emotionally? Well, it’s not going to be easy, but eventually you figure it out and are able to launch into your NEW BEGINNING with new loves, new or better jobs and a Free You! Your children will also survive despite your belief that you’ll ruin your life—because do you want them to also end up in a loveless or destructive marriage? Of course not, we all want our children to have the best in their lives. **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** survive divorce, surviving a divorce --- ### [Make any Divorce Better!](https://dwdignity.com/make-any-divorce-better/) **Published:** September 15, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** This is a book written by attorney, Ed Sherman, who’s the best-selling author of “How to Do Your Own Divorce.” And Ed has some great advice for anyone considering divorce. He gives you “specific steps to make things smoother, faster, less painful and save you a lot of money.” And his advice is based on 35 years of experience with over 45,000 cases… **Content:** This is a book written by attorney, Ed Sherman, who’s the best-selling author of “How to Do Your Own Divorce.” And Ed has some great advice for anyone considering divorce. He gives you “specific steps to make things smoother, faster, less painful and save you a lot of money.” And his advice is based on 35 years of experience with over 45,000 cases… The first thing anyone considering divorce usually thinks about is how they are going to hire an attorney to get them divorced. Most people have no idea that you do not need an attorney to get divorced, in fact, using a family law attorney to assist you will most likely make your case worse instead of better according to Ed Sherman in his book. He claims that your troubles are not legal, but problems with the relationship. And “the law has no tools to help solve relationship problems—none, not any—so attorneys you hire to take your case also lack tools to solve relationship problems…if you retain an attorney to represent you, to take your case, you will invariably end up in the legal system and things will get worse instead of better.” Of course there are times when you need an attorney and he goes through that in his book. So how do you get through the process without an attorney. The important thing is to come to an agreement between the two of you; once you can do that, the rest is relatively easy. You can use one of the following methods to help you: 1. Do the forms yourself by using books and self-help resources—some of the books Ed Sherman has written are: *How to Do Your Own Divorce in California* and How to do *Your Own Divorce in Texas*, [www.nolo.com](http://www.nolo.com/) has great books and your state’s government sites usually have a lot of self-help information, 2. Legal document services 3. Attorneys on a consulting basis—if you plan to do that approach, make sure you read his book first. 4. Your local Divorce with Dignity office, [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). In fact, all our offices use Ed’s book as a resource to coach you if you need support. But before you do anything, read the book, “Make Any Divorce Better”, [nolodivorce.com](http://www.nolodivorce.com/). **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce attorney, Divorce support, family attorneys --- ### [Before You Hire a Divorce Attorney…](https://dwdignity.com/before-you-hire-a-divorce-attorney/) **Published:** November 24, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** So, you’ve decided you want a divorce. Perhaps you have already tried counseling to save your marriage, but have been unsuccessful. You want to move forward and get on with it – but wait! Before you jump in and start calling divorce attorneys, there are some important things for you to consider. **Content:** # Before You Hire a Divorce Attorney… Nov 24, 2011 | [Dealing with Divorce Lawyers](https://dwdignity.com/category/dealing-with-divorce-lawyers/) **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** child support, divorce, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce papers, Divorce support, family law, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Divorce and Children: Providing Stability](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-and-children-providing-stability/) **Published:** January 26, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce is difficult and distressing for the separating couple, but for the children it is just as traumatic. It is a major upheaval in the stability of their lives – what they thought they could count on has become uncertain. As they see the circumstances of their family life shifting, they start to worry about a lot of things. **Content:** Divorce is difficult and distressing for the separating couple, but for the children it is just as traumatic. It is a major upheaval in the stability of their lives – what they thought they could count on has become uncertain. As they see the circumstances of their family life shifting, they start to worry about a lot of things. One of the best things you can do for your children, both during the divorce process and after the divorce, is to tell them what they need to know to reduce the worry, and provide stability in their lives to reduce stress and anxiety. **Stability During the Divorce Process** Breaking the news about the divorce to your children will not be easy, but the sooner you tell them the more time they will have to adjust and to talk things over with you as their questions arise. If possible, try to have both parents present for the initial discussion and make it as peaceful as possible – leave feelings of anger, blame, or resentment out of this conversation. If this feels difficult, a Divorce With Dignity provider ([www.findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) can work with you to find a way to achieve a peaceful framework with your spouse through the divorce. Focus on giving the children the information they need to feel reassured and secure. Be sure they understand that it is not their fault. Let them know they still have a family and will still be taken care of. Tell them that both of you will always love them. Talk to them about the things that will be changing, and just as important, the things that will remain the same. Give them answers to questions and worries they may have, keeping in mind that this will be an ongoing process throughout the divorce. Sometimes children will not always articulate what is worrying them, so the more you can anticipate and address what their concerns might be, the better. Some of these may be: - Where will each parent live? - Who will I live with? - When will I get to spend time with the other parent? - Will I still get to see other family members (uncles, aunts, grandparents)? - How will we celebrate birthdays and holidays? Will we be together? - Will I move? Change schools? - Will I still see my friends? - Do I still get to do my normal activities, such as soccer, summer camp, dance lessons, etc.? Children of divorcing parents might also worry that they will have to “take sides” and choose one parent over the other. It is very important to assure them that this is not the case. In addition to answering questions and addressing worries, you can create stability for your children by keeping a consistent routine and structure for them. This provides comfort and will help them adjust to the changes that are occurring around them. Having familiar day-to-day activities helps children know what to expect, putting them more at ease. **Stability After the Divorce Process** Naturally, the process of providing stability for children continues after the divorce and is ongoing. Studies have shown that children who live in stable family situations after a divorce do much better than those who don’t, and fare almost as well as children whose parents are not divorced. Stability includes supporting your children’s desires to love and maintain a relationship with both parents. It also involves cultivating peaceful interactions with your ex-spouse, especially in the presence of your children. To achieve this, be sure to get the support you need to recover from your divorce. A Divorce With Dignity provider can help you find the resources you need. To find a provider near you, please visit [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). Let us help you through your divorce with peace and dignity, while maintaining stability and security for your children. **Categories:** Children and Divorce Rates, Divorce Process **Tags:** children and divorce, Divorce Process, providing stability during divorce, the affects of divorce on children --- ### [Divorce Negotiating Tips – 7 Do’s and Don’ts](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-negotiating-tips-7-dos-and-donts/) **Published:** November 10, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** For those seeking a collaborative and peaceful divorce, negotiation skills are essential to effective conflict resolution. Successful negotiations take planning, preparation, and a desire to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement. Here are some tips to help you succeed. **Content:** For those seeking a collaborative and peaceful divorce, negotiation skills are essential to effective conflict resolution. Successful negotiations take planning, preparation, and a desire to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement. Here are some tips to help you succeed. **1. DO make a prioritized list of what you want.** Like the Scouts motto, “Be Prepared”. Always go into a negotiation knowing what is most important to you, what you are willing to compromise on, and some ideas of what things you might trade for some other concessions by the other side. **2. DON’T be afraid to ask for what you want.** Sometimes people are reluctant to bring up an issue because they don’t think they will get what they want. By not raising the issue you will certainly not get it, so make sure you are explicit about what you want – and also what you don’t want. Be assertive, but not aggressive. That is, take care of your own interests while still maintaining respect for your spouse and what is important to him/her. **3. DON’T give anything away without getting something in return.** Making a concession without requiring the other side to reciprocate is self-defeating. It makes the other side feel entitled to it and they will want something more. But an even “trade” will leave both sides feeling that they got a fair deal. **4. DO show your spouse how their needs will be met.** Seek to understand the needs of your spouse – not necessarily their demands, but what they really need. Then, figure out a way to ensure those needs are met and communicate your ideas. When your spouse feels that you do understand them and truly want to achieve a result that will feel fair to both sides, he/she will be more willing to do the same for you. **5. DO listen to the other side.** We are often so intent on making sure our interests are heard that we forget to listen. By being attentive to what the other person is saying, both verbally and with their body language, you can learn things that will help you in the negotiations. Asking open-minded and open-ended questions (ones that can’t be answered simply by “yes” or “no”) will aid you in finding new options. Approach the negotiation as a problem both of you are working to solve together, and be willing to brain-storm solutions. **6. DON’T be in a hurry.** It is difficult for most of us to be patient, especially when we want to get something over with (like divorce negotiations). But if you rush through things, you are more likely to make mistakes or may miss an opportunity to find better solutions. Take the time to get it right, and you won’t regret it later on. **7. DO get it in writing.** Oral agreements are the first step, but the negotiations are not complete until the divorce settlement decisions are put into writing in detail. Memories can be faulty and having the written proof of what was agreed on enables you to avoid the bickering that can occur when there is disagreement about what was decided. These tips can help you work out a divorce settlement that meets everyone’s needs. However, by starting with a Divorce with Dignity office, you will be able to understand the process, review your needs and figure out the best things to negotiate, as well as assistance with mediation if needed. You can find your nearest Divorce With Dignity provider by visiting www.findaproviderdwdignity.com. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, collaborative divorce, Conflict Resolution, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, peaceful divorce, should i get divorced --- ### [How to Negotiate with Your Spouse](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-negotiate-with-your-spouse/) **Published:** October 13, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Once the decision to divorce has been made, sooner or later you and your spouse will need to come to an agreement on various issues. This is true no matter what method of divorce you use (litigated, mediated, collaborative divorce, etc.). **Content:** Once the decision to divorce has been made, sooner or later you and your spouse will need to come to an agreement on various issues. This is true no matter what method of divorce you use (litigated, mediated, collaborative divorce, etc.). You may wish that someone else (like your lawyer) would do all the negotiations for you. But in reality it is you and your spouse who will eventually have to work out solutions to at least some issues, during the divorce and often after. Learning good negotiation skills can help you succeed in conflict resolution and will likely result in a more amicable divorce settlement. Your actions during three phases of the negotiation process can have a profound effect on the outcome. Here are some tips for what you can do before, during, and after negotiations. Before the meeting **1. Define your goals.** Try to make mutual agreement one of those goals. Aim for a win-win solution. **2. Identify the problems from both of your perspectives**. It may be helpful to work with a marriage counselor to clarify the issues that cause conflict and to help each of you see the other’s viewpoint. **3. Make a list of what is most important to you**. Knowing what you really want will aid you in negotiating strategically. Allow at least several days to think about this and add items to your list as they come up. **4. Prepare a list of items you would be willing to compromise on.** What could you give up in order to get something from your “most important” list? **5. De-stress just prior to meeting**. Try to do something that will help you relax so you can enter the meeting in a calm state. Listen to peaceful music, meditate, do some breathing exercises, or take a walk. During the meeting **6. Meet on neutral ground**. Plan to meet in a place that is free of memories and emotions. Don’t meet at your home(s) or at any place you used to hang out together. Find some place that will be private. If you would like to have a neutral third party present, you could ask a member of the clergy, or a counselor to be there with you. **7. Choose to have a good attitude.** Try to be as pleasant as possible, leaving negative emotions out of the negotiating room as much as possible. Keep your goals in mind and expect to have a good outcome. This can help you focus on the positive. When you feel anger starting to well up inside you, take a long, deep breath and remember that getting angry will only make the situation worse. **8. Set the ground rules.** Both of you need to agree to be civil to each other, and to leave the reasons for the divorce out of the negotiations. This is not the time to discuss the problems in the marriage; your goal is to make decisions about the future. Agree to *avoid* the following – - Making demands or ultimatums - Showing disrespect - Using threatening language - Yelling - Blaming - Storming out of the room Keep to the ground rules even if your spouse does not. Do not stoke the fire. If you reach an impasse where you do not seem to be getting anywhere, or if one of you is starting to ignore the ground rules or is becoming angry, stop negotiating and come back to the issue later. If things are really getting out of hand, you should discontinue the meeting. You can reschedule it later. **9. Set up a structure for the meeting.** Decide the order of the issues to be discussed. Take one issue at a time and set a time limit. If the two of you are able to come to an agreement then document it, sign it, and move on to the next issue. If instead you haven’t come to agreement on that issue when the time limit is up, agree to return to it at a later time and move on to the next issue. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t resolve everything in one meeting – this is normal. **10. Really listen**. Allow your spouse to speak without interruption. Don’t get defensive or start planning your response. Really pay attention to their concerns. When they are finished, restate what they have said to make sure you understand. You will get your chance to speak, but not during your spouse’s turn. **11. Be willing to compromise.** Recognize that you won’t get everything you want out of the negotiations. **12. Brainstorm together**. Find possibilities and agree to calmly evaluate them. Then choose a solution that both of you can feel comfortable with. **13. Write it down**. Get really clear on the details. For example, if you have decided that the children will live with one parent two weekends a month, be specific about when and where they will be picked up and by whom. Record all the details. After the meeting **14. Take some time to review the agreement.** Both of you should take a few days to independently review the decisions before putting them into official divorce papers. You want to be sure that each of you feels the terms are fair and clear. **15. Ask for help if not all issues could be agreed on.** A good place to start is with a Divorce with Dignity professional, who can help you clarify the issues and determine if a mediator can be of assistance. **16. Keep your promises.** Once you have come to an agreement on an issue and both of you have signed off on it, stick to the plan. If something is not working well, you can always renegotiate. But if you haven’t kept your part of the bargain, your spouse may not trust you enough to go through the process again. The keys to a successful negotiation process are to communicate clearly, remain positive, and listen to the other side. If you can accomplish these things, your spouse will be more willing to work with you to achieve a mutually acceptable settlement, making the whole divorce process go a little more smoothly. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, collaborative divorce, Conflict Resolution, Divorce papers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement --- ### [If J-Lo Can Do It…](https://dwdignity.com/if-j-lo-can-do-it/) **Published:** September 29, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Entertainment news was all a-buzz this past July with the announcement from Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony that their seven-year marriage is ending in divorce. But unlike the “typical” Hollywood break-up, with endless drama and rancor, the couple seems to be working to make the split as peacefully as possible. **Content:** Entertainment news was all a-buzz this past July with the announcement from Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony that their seven-year marriage is ending in divorce. But unlike the “typical” Hollywood break-up, with endless drama and rancor, the couple seems to be working to make the split as peacefully as possible. As reported by People magazine, their joint statement included, “We have come to amicable conclusion on all matters.” Anthony has been quoted as saying “This is not a funeral. This is not a burial… This is just two people who came together and just realized… it wasn’t sustainable the way it was, and that’s that.” He also said, “I’ll always love Jennifer. She knows that… my kids know that. Jennifer’s a wonderful, wonderful woman, a wonderful mother, a wonderful friend.” As parents of three-year-old twins Max and Emme, they know that they will still be a part of each other’s lives. “We realized very early on that even though we’re not together, our story’s not over. There are things to do together; there is life to see together through Max and Emme.” The issues facing them in a divorce are not much different than anyone else going through this difficult process. There are the usual decisions to be made about child custody, visitation terms, division of property, continuation of joint business ventures, etc. These are often complex and sometimes messy, requiring willingness on both sides to compromise. But if this process can be accomplished without hostility and venom, it is so much easier on everyone involved. Being able to step back and recognize what’s good in each other, and striving together to work out an agreement that is basically fair to everyone will surely lead to a more peaceful outcome. In addition, it makes legal matters much simpler. If you can come to an agreement on the issues (either on your own or with the help of a mediator), then you can avoid costly and adversarial court proceedings by enlisting the aid of a professional to prepare the legal documents. Divorce With Dignity can help. Each of our offices are staffed with a primary director, drawn from various professions, including attorneys, independent paralegals, legal documentation assistants, and mediators. We believe that your divorce is unique based upon your situation. Our mission is to provide – - A safe place for anyone considering an amicable divorce or separation - Divorce advice, and assistance in divorce planning - Facilitation services to help you understand the divorce process and how it affects you both legally and emotionally - Support with filing the divorce papers and related legal documents - Affordable legal access - Other divorce support services We believe that amicable divorce and peaceful conflict resolution are possible. Our holistic approach can help you get through the divorce process with dignity and calmness. If you would like to learn more, we encourage you to [call your local Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) office to talk with one of our professionals. **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, child custody, Conflict Resolution, Divorce Advice, Divorce papers, divorce planning, Divorce Process --- ### [Life After Divorce: Finding Your Wings](https://dwdignity.com/life-after-divorce-finding-your-wings/) **Published:** January 6, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** A divorce can leave you with lots of different feelings to deal with. Loneliness, emptiness, depression, feeling unengaged in life, feeling stuck – all are common results of the life upheaval a divorce puts you through. **Content:** A divorce can leave you with lots of different feelings to deal with. Loneliness, emptiness, depression, feeling unengaged in life, feeling stuck – all are common results of the life upheaval a divorce puts you through. At Divorce With Dignity ([www.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)), our goal is to help you through your divorce in as peaceful and supportive a way possible, and to help you find the resources you need to rebuild your life after divorce. One of the organizations we partner with is Wings for Women, founded by Keiko Hsu who was inspired by her own transformation after her 26-year marriage ***and*** her 20+ year corporate career crumbled during the same year. Her mission is to inspire and enable women to live a joyful life after divorce … and attain new heights in their life, career, and relationships. As a Life-After-Divorce Mentor and a certified Life Coach/Business Coach/Dream Coach, Keiko can help you get in touch with what brings you joy, develop a clear vision of the new life you want to create, and map out a way to get there. To assist you in your transition, she has developed the **W.I.N.G.S.** coaching process with the following components – - **W** = Wholeness - **I** = Inner Self - **N** = Navigate Barriers - **G** = Generate Your Personal Roadmap - **S** = Stay on Track In addition to her personal coaching, you can take advantage of a free previous teleseminar (summary sheet and audio-recording available by email) called “3 Keys to Create New Relationships that Nurture Your Heart & Soul”. The seminar is targeted to career-focused women who are recently divorced or separated and who have been burying themselves in work. The aim is to help you focus on yourself for a change, and find out how to meet new people and “get a life!” Discover her top tips for being charismatic to attract, develop, and nurture your new relationships – and where to find them! She also offers a Radiance Course for home-study entitled “Discover Your Inner Radiance … 10 Fast Action Steps to Attract What You Want and Live a Joyful Life After Divorce”. Created to help you work at your own pace in the convenience of your home, the course aids you in reclaiming parts of your heart and soul that were lost during the divorce, letting go of past negative patterns, and developing your inner radiance to attract people who are right for you in this new phase of life. **At Divorce With Dignity, we are here to help you find whatever resources you need to help you through this difficult transition – before, during, and after divorce. To find a provider near you, visit us at** [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). And to find your “wings” so you can soar, learn more about Wings for Women by visiting our website ([www.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)), scrolling down to “Additional resources” at the bottom right corner of the page and clicking on “Wings for Women”. Let us help you through all aspects of your divorce – with dignity! **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce Advice, life after divorce, peaceful divorce, rebuild life after divorce, wing women, Wings for Women, wings program --- ### [Telling the Kids About Your Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/telling-the-kids-about-your-divorce/) **Published:** October 20, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Most divorcing parents dread this painful task. Who wouldn’t? But it must be done, so to alleviate your apprehension about it, here are some guidelines to help you prepare. **Content:** So you’ve made the decision to divorce. Now, how do you break it to the kids? Most divorcing parents dread this painful task. Who wouldn’t? But it must be done, so to alleviate your apprehension about it, here are some guidelines to help you prepare. *Preparing for the talk* - **Focus on the positive**. Having this talk with your children is an opportunity to let them know that you love them and will continue to do so, and that as a family you are going to be sure their needs are met. - **Make sure most of the decisions have been made.** They will have many questions (spoken or unspoken) about the logistics of the divorce. You will want to be prepared to provide answers to as many of those questions as possible. - **Agree on what to say**. Make sure you will not be giving the children conflicting stories or details. - **Choose the right time.** It is very important not to talk about the divorce with the kids until you are absolutely certain that it will actually happen. Even then, you don’t want to do it too far in advance, or they may think you’ve changed your mind when nothing happens for awhile. Wait until about a month before the changes you are going to discuss with them will occur. This will give them some time to adjust to the news and to talk with both parents as questions come up. Schedule the talk at a time which will not interfere with the children’s usual activities, and when both parents can be available for some hours afterward to give reassurances and just be there for them. *Telling them the news* - **Tell them together if at all possible.** This will convey to the children that although you and your spouse are divorcing, you can cooperate as their parents and will both continue to be an active part of their lives. - **Keep it fair.** Both of you should agree that neither of you will put blame on the other when talking to your children. Exposing them to your criticisms of each other is unfair and hurtful to them. - **Be honest.** Explain what divorce means. Tell them why you are divorcing, but keep it simple and general. Details are unnecessary and inappropriate. Also, don’t gloss over the fact that life will be different for everyone in the family. - **Keep it unemotional**. Seeing a parent cry or get highly emotional can be frightening to children and can increase their anxiety. Keep calm, and your children will be more reassured. - **Address their concerns and allay their fears**. Some of the things they will want to know are: - The reason the divorce is happening. Again, keep it simple. For age-appropriate tips, you may want to refer to an article by nationally renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Ruth Peters entitled “Telling the Kids about Separation and Divorce” – [Click to view](http://www.ruthpeters.com/Articles/Telling%20the%20Kids%20about%20Separation%20and%20Divorce.pdf) - That they are not the cause of the divorce. - That their basic needs will be met. - That both of you love them and will continue to love them. - When the separation will take place - Who is going to live where - Whether they will be moving into a new place and changing schools - When they will be able to see the parent who is leaving - That they will be able to speak with that parent by phone - **Welcome their questions.** Ask your children if they have any questions or fears. If they ask about a particular issue that is still unresolved, tell them honestly that you don’t know the answer to that yet, but you will let them know when you do. Let them know that you will always be available to talk with them further and answer any future questions. And be sure to keep that commitment. *Dealing with the reactions* - **Be prepared for a variety of possible reactions.** Children respond in different ways to hearing this news. They may become angry or upset, and if this happens it is important for you to stay in control. Do not apologize or get defensive – just sympathize with them and tell them you understand this is a difficult and unhappy situation. Some children may want to go to their rooms and be alone to think, while others will want to cling to you for reassurance. Give them space if they need it, and lots of hugs and affection whenever you can. Be aware that they may show no reaction at all. In this case, they may not know how to express their strong emotions and it may take some time for them to be able to communicate them. Many emotions can come into play – fear of abandonment, sadness, guilt, blame, even denial. Be sensitive to the unspoken feelings as well as to the overt reactions. - **Give them time.** It will take time for any child to adjust to this upsetting news. Be patient, and expect to have more talks about the topic. - **Provide them with support.** If your children are having trouble coping with the situation, consider getting some professional help for them. School counselors, mental health therapists, social workers, and support groups can be of assistance. In the San Francisco Bay Area there is also an organization called Kids’ Turn ([www.kidsturn.org](http://www.kidsturn.org/)). They are a non-profit group that helps families through parental separation. Their motto is “Putting kids in the center of healing, not in the middle of conflict.” Services are free for the children, and the parents pay on a sliding fee basis. No family is turned away due to inability to pay, and they conduct services in English, Chinese, and Spanish. The divorce process is never easy – not for you or your spouse, and definitely not for your kids. Children and divorce never co-exist easily, but breaking the news to them as outlined above can help them cope with their new reality. **Categories:** Children and Divorce Rates **Tags:** children and divorce, Divorce Process, kids and divorce, talking about divorce --- ### [The Pros and Cons of a Mediated Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-a-mediated-divorce/) **Published:** October 8, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Once the decision to divorce has been made, the decision about how to go through the divorce process needs to be addressed. One way is through mediation. Many of you may be asking, “What exactly is mediation?” **Content:** Once the decision to divorce has been made, the decision about how to go through the divorce process needs to be addressed. One way is through mediation. Many of you may be asking, “What exactly ***is*** mediation?” **What is mediation?** Mediation is a conflict resolution process that involves a trained third party (called a mediator) who works with both parties in a dispute to resolve issues by finding out concerns, clearing up misunderstandings, and reaching a resolution by compromise. A mediated divorce has many advantages, but there can be certain drawbacks as well. Let’s walk through the possible Pros and Cons of a mediated divorce versus a litigated divorce in the courtroom. We’ll start first with briefly describing the litigated divorce process. **Litigated divorce** In a litigated divorce, the court process can be lengthy and time-consuming. You are at the mercy of the schedules of the court and the divorce lawyers, so there may be delays. As you wait in the courtroom for your case to be heard, you are paying your lawyer whether or not progress is made in your case. Once you do go before the judge, you may only have a few minutes to testify in your case. Plus, you have little control over the outcome. The effect a litigated divorce has on you and your family can be extremely stressful and unpleasant. It is an adversarial system by nature, and many negative emotions can be triggered by the hurtful things said in the courtroom. And remember, court proceedings and filings are public record, there for anyone to see (including your family and co-workers). **Mediated divorce – PROS** - **Less expensive:** A mediated divorce can cost from 1/10 to 1/3 of what a litigated divorce can cost you. - **Faster:** Many courts are backlogged and your case may not come up as quickly as you would like. With mediation, you manage the scheduling, so the time and the cost will be more predictable. - **You have control:** You and your spouse determine the schedule (instead of the courts and the divorce lawyers), decide which issues to discuss (and in what order), and have control over the outcome. The two of you will make decisions you both can live with, instead of someone else deciding what the arrangements will be. - **Flexible:** You can take time to consider how a decision will affect your family. You can even try out different arrangements before you sign the final agreement. - **Confidential**: Mediation sessions take place in a private room and the proceedings are confidential. - **Less stressful:** It’s easier on the children and healthier for the family as a whole when divorcing spouses can agree to compromise instead of demonize. - **Stresses the positive:** The goal is to work out a fair and workable solution instead of tearing each other down to “win”. - **Less likely to need settlement modifications:** A study of 150 divorce cases in Linn County, Iowa\* found that re-litigation was 7-8 times more likely in cases that did not use mediation initially. This indicates that people who mediate are making lasting decisions or are making adjustments to the divorce settlement themselves instead of through the courts. \* Sixth Judicial District Family Mediation Program, UPDATE – March 2004 - **Litigation is still an option**. If you are unable to reach a mediation agreement, or you are unhappy with the outcome, you still have the right to go to court. **Mediated divorce – CONS** - **Possibility of power imbalance**: Mediation can be difficult if one party feels disempowered – for example if one spouse has all the financial resources, or can articulate better, or is intimidating in some other way. - **Possibility of an inexperienced or biased mediator:** Mediators are trained professionals, but as in any profession, their abilities, experience, and biases differ. - **No legal advice:** Since the mediator is a neutral third party, he or she cannot advise either spouse for or against any particular course of action. This is true even if the mediator is an attorney. If legal advice seems necessary, the mediator can only tell you where to find additional information or suggest you seek legal counsel. - **Waste of time and money if it doesn’t work out:** If it becomes clear that mediation is not working (perhaps one or both parties are unwilling to make concessions) and is discontinued, the costs incurred are not refundable. And of course, you can’t get that time back. If after weighing the Pros and Cons of a mediated divorce you would like to explore this option, you can seek divorce advice from a professional organization dedicated to helping people through the divorce process in a positive and empowering way. Your local Divorce with Dignity professional can help you decide if mediation is the best option for you. If you decide to go this route, they can also help you to find an experienced and reputable mediator. Mediation is all about empowerment – you and your spouse are in control of the decisions, and it is also up to both of you to come to the mediation table ready to find equitable solutions. The focus is not on assigning blame or bringing up old arguments, it is about moving forward. If you can do this, you will save yourself the trauma, grief, and anger that are typical in a litigated divorce. And save yourself some time and money as well. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Conflict Resolution, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, divorce mediator, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, what is mediation --- ### [Unhappy Marriage vs. Amicable Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/unhappy-marriage-vs-amicable-divorce/) **Published:** October 18, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Deciding whether or not to give up on a marriage is one of the most difficult decisions people may have to face in their lives. But it is something most married people have probably contemplated at one time or another. **Content:** Deciding whether or not to give up on a marriage is one of the most difficult decisions people may have to face in their lives. But it is something most married people have probably contemplated at one time or another. Between 40-50 percent of all first marriages end in divorce, and that rate is even higher for second or third marriages. Every marriage has its rough spots. When people stay in the marriage, very often it does get better, possibly even a lot better. It takes cooperation from both parties and a great deal of effort, but totally worth it if the marriage is important to you. The first step is to identify the underlying issues (you may need a marriage counselor to help you with this). Honest communication is crucial. Then you find ways to fix the problems. Both of you must be willing to do difficult things – compromise, accept responsibility when warranted, forgive each other, and be willing to make changes. Not easy, but possible. Sometimes one or both of the spouses are unwilling to do these things. And sometimes, it is just a bad idea to stay married, particularly when physical or emotional abuse has been an issue. Or you may have tried the marriage counseling route but found yourselves at an impasse. Even when there is no hope of making the relationship a healthy and happy one, some people still can’t make the decision to leave. Everyone has their own reasons, but some of the more common ones are – - ***Money*** – Fear that they may not be able to maintain the same standard of living. - ***Prestige*** – If the husband or wife has a high-powered career or social standing, the other spouse may not want to give up the perks they enjoy that come with that status. - ***Property*** – The couple may have acquired real estate, a business, or other property (perhaps even a pet) that neither want to give up to the other one. - ***Don’t want to be like their parents*** – Perhaps one or both of the spouses suffered as children of divorced parents and perhaps witnessed the ugliness, bitterness, and misery that can accompany some divorces – and they don’t want to be like that. - ***Religion*** – In some religions, divorce is *highly* discouraged, and some people would rather pretend to have a happy marriage than suffer the perceived consequences. - ***Embarrassment or Guilt*** – Sometimes when a person marries someone their family did not approve of, they will stay in a bad marriage in order to not have to admit that they did indeed make a bad choice. - ***Low self-esteem*** – A person may lack the confidence that they can make it on their own, or may feel that they are not worthy of a happy marriage. - ***Fear of loneliness*** – There is a type of security in being in a marriage, even an unhappy one, especially if the person has no close family or friends. - ***Fear of the unknown*** – As the old Irish proverb goes, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know”. Better to put up with something bad than risk something worse. - ***Fear of the retaliation*** – One spouse may have threatened the other with some form of abuse, either physical or emotional (like threatening to stalk them or make life miserable for them). - ***Pressure from family or society*** – Some fear that they will be looked down upon if they divorce, or they feel pressure from their families to stay together. Whatever the reasons, you have to decide if they are really worth staying in an unhappy marriage. Perhaps a counselor or clergyperson can help you work through your feelings and options. If all efforts to make the marriage work have failed, maybe a divorce would allow each of you to live a happier life. One way to pave the way for that happier life after divorce is to strive for an amicable divorce, if at all possible. The advantages of an amicable divorce (as opposed to a litigated divorce) are numerous, both during the divorce process and afterward. While going through the divorce process, using mediation or collaboration instead of litigation will give both you and your spouse more control over the decisions, more flexibility in arrangements, and far less stress than an adversarial battle in the courts. Mediation and collaboration are methods that are based on a commitment from both spouses to cooperate to achieve a negotiated outcome, one that is fair and acceptable to both parties. After the divorce decree is finalized, couples who have gone through a mediated divorce or a collaborative divorce are much more likely to have an amicable relationship than those who have had a litigated divorce. This is partly due to the fact that those who have gone through mediation or collaboration have learned negotiating skills, and have learned to focus on shared goals. Other factors include – - Avoiding the hostility and nastiness that inevitably occurs in litigation prevents additional emotional pain. - Keeping the details of the divorce private (in litigation, everything is public record) makes the divorced couple feel more at ease. - Compliance with the terms of the divorce settlement is more likely because both spouses have worked together to make the decisions and draft a plan they both can live with. Divorce is difficult, and should be a last resort. But if your inner voice is telling you it’s time to end the marriage, find out more about how to achieve an amicable divorce. Your local Divorce with Dignity provider can explain your options and offer various kinds of divorce support. They can help you find the best way to achieve a peaceful divorce with dignity instead of enmity. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, collaborative divorce, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, how to avoid divorce, how to divorce, peaceful divorce --- ### [What Exactly Is An Amicable Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/what-exactly-is-an-amicable-divorce/) **Published:** October 31, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word “amicable” means to be “characterized by friendly goodwill” or “peaceable”. **Content:** According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word “amicable” means to be “characterized by friendly goodwill” or “peaceable”. The term “amicable divorce” may seem like an oxymoron. When couples are at the point of deciding that divorce is their best option, they are unlikely to be feeling a lot of friendly goodwill toward each other. But if you can put your emotions aside and think of it as negotiating a treaty with tact and diplomacy, it might be easier to imagine. It is advantageous to everyone if the divorce settlement can be achieved in a polite and peaceful way. It does not mean that you have to give in on issues important to you just to keep things friendly. It means working things out in a cooperative and fair manner so that you end up with an agreement that works for everyone. You avoid the costly, antagonistic, and painful litigation process, and you keep your dignity and integrity. The reason you are divorcing is to end a marriage that was in conflict. Do you really want to prolong the conflict and pain by taking your spouse to court? An amicable divorce process allows you to plan for your future with mutually agreed upon decisions and get on with your life. Some people want to use the divorce process as an instrument to hurt the other or to exact revenge. The problem with this is that the other side will respond in the same manner, leading to further escalation. Will this get you what you want? Others may feel that going through a friendly divorce process will cause them to lose their position of strength in negotiations. They think having an aggressive divorce lawyer fighting for their interests only will get them a better settlement. But again, this will likely lead to an equally aggressive response from the other side. Who is really going to win in this scenario? Divorce with Dignity is a network of divorce professionals committed to helping people achieve an amicable divorce with the least distress possible. They provide divorce advice and support by helping you learn about your options for a peaceful divorce that will focus on what is best for you and your family, and avoid the negative, adversarial aspects that are part of a litigated divorce. Achieving an amicable divorce may not be easy, but it is definitely worth the effort. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog **Tags:** definition of amicable divorce, what is amicable divorce --- ### [What Is Collaborative Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/what-is-collaborative-divorce/) **Published:** October 24, 2011 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** There are two ways this term is used. It is a term for a legal process, but can also be used to indicate any method used to go through the divorce process without going to divorce court. **Content:** There are two ways this term is used. It is a term for a legal process, but can also be used to indicate any method used to go through the divorce process without going to divorce court. When referred to as a legal process, collaborative divorce (also called collaborative law or family law) is a method that involves each spouse hiring a specially trained collaborative attorney who advises and assists in your negotiating a divorce settlement agreement outside of court. An important feature is that each attorney signs a pledge to withdraw if either party decides to go to court. Since they would not benefit in any way if the negotiations fail, they have an extra incentive to work with their clients to find ways to negotiate conflict resolutions in a fair and cooperative way. Collaborative divorce when used as a generic term refers to various ways a couple can get through an amicable divorce process working together without litigation with the support they need. For example, some couples may be in agreement on all issues and just need help with preparing the divorce papers. Others may be in agreement on most issues, but need some help working out the agreement for some specific disputes. Whether collaborative divorce is referring to the specific legal process, or any method used to avoid litigation to accomplish a peaceful divorce, the basis for it is that all persons involved must be committed to working ***with*** and ***not against*** the other party. Let’s look first at the specific legal process of collaborative divorce. **The Process** The collaborative legal process begins with the couple and their lawyers signing a contract (called the Participation Agreement) which spells out their commitments in the process and prohibits their lawyers from representing either one in any future litigation relating to family law. Each spouse will meet separately with his/her attorney, and there will be meetings with all four persons present (spouses and attorneys). There may be times when other professionals will be called in as consultants to help the couple make informed decisions. Some examples are – - Divorce coach – can help the participants clarify their needs and plan for the future - Child custody specialist – can help the couple explore different options - Child mental health specialist – can educate the parents about how divorce affects children and can present plans for parenting after the divorce - Financial expert – can assist with such things as evaluating the worth of a business, giving options for dividing assets, and giving advice on how to ensure financial security for each spouse and the children - Financial coach – when one spouse has been the sole money manager, a financial coach can educate the other spouse with information that will help them negotiate capably. Just to be clear, the coaches are focused on the needs of one of the spouses so each spouse would hire their own, whereas the specialists/experts are neutral and can be shared by both parties. If the collaborative efforts are successful and the couple can reach an agreement, a legally binding agreement is written and signed by both parties. The papers are then filed in court for the approval and signature of a family court judge. No court trial is required. If the negotiations are unsuccessful, then litigation may be necessary, but with different attorneys. **Advantages of a Collaborative Divorce** The team approach of a collaborative divorce results in a settlement based on compromise and fairness where each party has been able to voice their opinions and have more control over the decisions that will affect the lives of all family members. It is less costly, faster, and produces far less stress and anxiety than a litigated divorce. It stabilizes the situation with a temporary agreement that lasts throughout the negotiations, and helps you move forward instead of focusing on blame and accusations. If you have children, this is a better approach than antagonistic divorce proceedings in court because it causes much less stress for them, and sets an example for them of cooperation, fairness, and negotiated conflict resolution. **Who can benefit from this approach?** Collaborative divorce works well when the participants are committed to working out a solution that is fair for everyone, are willing to control their emotions, are interested in the well-being of the other spouse, and are willing to maintain a peaceful relationship after the divorce, particularly when children are involved. However, it is usually quite expensive since each party has their own attorney and support team; it’s really good for very high-end couples who want to proceed through the process as amicably as possible. **When is it not appropriate?** The collaborative approach may not be feasible in cases that involve domestic abuse, drug or alcohol addition, or mental illness. It is also unsuitable if one (or both) of the spouses desires to hurt the other one emotionally, socially, or financially. **Divorce with Dignity’s approach to a collaborative divorce** Divorce with Dignity is a network of independent divorce support professionals who help people obtain an amicable divorce using alternative, cost-effective collaborative methods. The Divorce with Dignity professional provides a safe place in which to discuss the complicated issues of divorce, and helps you sort out your options for negotiating a cooperative divorce that is as peaceful as possible. They also can suggest support services that may be appropriate for you and your family. You have a choice in how you will accomplish your divorce. Why not get through it with the least amount of pain and distress? **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, collaborative divorce, collaborative law, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, family law, peaceful divorce --- ### [Divorce And Money: Getting A Fresh Start](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-and-money-getting-a-fresh-start/) **Published:** April 19, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** One of the benefits we offer at Divorce With Dignity is unlimited referrals to services that our clients may need to help them through various aspects of their divorce. Besides the financial issues of deciding who gets what, money problems often arise around dealing with the change in income that occurs after the divorce. **Content:** One of the benefits we offer at Divorce With Dignity is unlimited referrals to services that our clients may need to help them through various aspects of their divorce. Besides the financial issues of deciding who gets what, money problems often arise around dealing with the change in income that occurs after the divorce. To help people make a fresh start in money matters, we often refer them to a financial coach. We asked one of our referral coaches, Resa Shore ([www.yourmoneyhealth.com](http://www.yourmoneyhealth.com/)), to give us some insight on issues of divorce and money. **Resa, what financial issues do you often see arise when a couple is divorcing?** Obviously the primary problem is that the division of finances usually creates less for everybody. In these circumstances, people tend to go into denial and have either a lack of awareness about or are unable to get real clarity around the reality of their financial situation. If they can overcome this, it will allow them to see the problems and to make necessary changes. **How can a financial counselor help?** A financial coach/counselor can help the individual get real clarity around their finances. This is critical, as most people don’t have a real handle on their expenses or income. A coach can help clients look at underlying beliefs that drive their financial behavior. In a divorce, there are some fears that are very real, such as not having enough money to live on. But there are also some fears that are based on beliefs that are not necessarily true. For example, women are often given the message that they are not good with money, or that men will take care of them. So, they will often function this way, even though in reality they are quite capable of taking care of themselves. A financial coach can help them explore these unfounded beliefs, and can help them create strategies to correct imbalances. **How can emotions affect money issues?** It is critically important, and very difficult for people to do on their own, to think back to messages that were given to you in your life, and figure out how they are affecting your relationship to money today. A typical example would be a woman who grew up in a fairly wealthy environment and married someone who was also financially well-off. She never had to worry about money, and when she got divorced, she still had the belief that money will always be there. So she continued to shop and buy what she wanted, and was getting herself into increasing debt until she was able explore her underlying attitudes. Once she did this, she was able to change her belief and get out of debt. **What advice do you have for the newly-divorced who are starting a new life with perhaps less money than they had when they were married?** First and foremost – get clarity about how much you really need and how much money will be coming in. Get clear on the difference between needs and wants. It’s easy to be in denial about this and get paralyzed. If you get stuck thinking “this is the way it was” or “this is the way it should be”, you will have problems. You need to be very open to being creative about fulfilling your financial needs. Some of the changes you have to make will put you into some level of discomfort. But don’t be afraid of this, as it will help you grow. At Divorce With Dignity, we take a holistic approach to divorce, and understand that people often need services in addition to the divorce legal services we provide. Let us help you get through your divorce in a way that is tailored to your unique situation – with dignity! Contact us at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) to find out how we can help. **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** divorce and money, Divorce support, money matter, your money matters --- ### [How Do I Start To Prepare For A Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/how-do-i-start-to-prepare-for-a-divorce/) **Published:** March 29, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** When people think they want a divorce, they think the first step is to learn what they need to do to prepare for the divorce. Logical – but first, take one step back. Before you do anything else, make sure you really are ready to go forward with the divorce. If there is any hope of saving your marriage, try counseling first or whatever else you can to save it. Because once you start the divorce process, it is really difficult to go back. But if you are sure that divorce is really what you want, and you want to achieve a ***divorce with dignity***, then we can help. Divorce With Dignity ([www.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)) takes a very different approach to the divorce process than the traditional court litigation system. Our goal is to guide you through the divorce process maze, helping you obtain a divorce in the most peaceful, cooperative, and cost-effective way possible. In preparing for a divorce, we recommend the following steps – 1. **Get your paperwork together.** Don’t worry if you can’t gather everything right away; just get what you can to help you with step 2. Start with finding your latest tax statement, and creating a record of your assets and debts (bank accounts, loans, credit cards, mortgages, investments, properties, etc.). 2. **Figure out what you will need in terms of assets and support from the marriage settlement.** Think about both the most you would want and your bottom line – you will probably end up somewhere in the middle. Develop a proposed budget as to what you’ll need to live on after the divorce. Engage the help of a financial professional if you need help with this (we can provide you with referrals for this and other kinds of assistance ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/))). If finances are limited, it is definitely to your advantage to avoid litigation. We can help you obtain your divorce with a lot less cost as well as less stress. 3. **Talk with your spouse.** Does he/she also want the divorce? If you both feel that divorce is the best solution, and you are both willing to cooperate to work through the divorce process amicably, then you should start talking about the following issues – - Living arrangements - Children (how to tell them, parenting plan, visitation, etc.) - Finances - Child support - Alimony / spousal support - Property 6. **Develop your divorce support team.** During your discussions on the above topics, you may find that you both are in agreement on everything, or that there are some issues that need to be worked out. You may also discover that there are areas in which you need some support or counseling. When you work with Divorce With Dignity ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](http://findaprovider.dwdignity.com/)), we offer a safe place for you to discuss these issues, plan for your divorce, and get referrals for any type of assistance you may need to get you through this. This could include mediators, legal support, emotional support, financial counseling, life coaching, support for your children, referrals for moving companies, and more. We also help you file the divorce papers. Starting to prepare for a divorce can be a daunting task. Let us help you through it – with dignity! **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** dissolution, Divorce Advice, Divorce Process, divorced, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce, preparing for divorce, separation papers --- ### [How To Get Through Romantic Holidays While Going Through Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-get-through-romantic-holidays-while-going-through-divorce/) **Published:** March 1, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. **Content:** What does a romantic holiday such as Valentine’s Day conjure up in your mind? If you are going through a divorce, it might be a sense of loss, anger, or anxiety (or all three) that looms over you as the day approaches. At Divorce With Dignity ([www.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)), we understand what you’re going through. So what can you do to cast off these gloomy feelings when you look at everyone else and the media who are telling us we should be celebrating with someone special? Spend it with someone special! Whether it be with your children, your single friends, or even yourself. Love has many aspects besides romantic love. Why should going through a divorce keep you from celebrating all the love you still have in your life? You can celebrate Love any way you want to! **Celebrate with your children and/or other family members** Yes, you are divorcing your spouse, but you still have a family. - Plan some fun time with your kids. Bake a cake together and decorate it with little red hearts. Make some homemade valentines. Watch a comedy and laugh your heads off. - Get together with other family members who live nearby and may not be planning a “romantic” dinner date (not everyone does, you know). Make it a potluck and during dinner have each person at the table tell what they love about the person sitting to their left. Afterward, play some games or watch a classic movie. **Celebrate with your friends** - Call up some of your single friends and plan a dinner out. Or if you live fairly close to each other, have a progressive dinner party. If you’re feeling adventurous, have everyone bring a friend and meet some new people. **Celebrate with others as a volunteer** - Sometimes doing something to cheer up others can have the same effect on you. You can volunteer to help with a party at a senior center, hospital, or homeless shelter, or just visit with some of the people there with valentines and balloons in hand. **Celebrate with yourself** - Make time to pamper yourself and do what makes you happy. Schedule a massage or a spa day. Take a walk in a beautiful nature area. Explore a good bookstore and spend some time reading in a cozy coffee house. Taking care of yourself and doing something that makes you feel nurtured is a great way to show love for yourself. There are many ways to make things a little easier while going through (or right after) a divorce, but for some people it may not be enough to chase away the sadness and oppressive negative emotions. If you find yourself in this category, consider talking with a counselor. At Divorce With Dignity, we not only help you get through the process of divorce, we can refer you to a therapist who specializes in helping people deal with the emotional effects of divorce, or to a life-after-divorce coach who can help you discover how to create a new and better life. Contact us today ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) to see how we can help you on your journey through the divorce maze – with peace and dignity. **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce Counseling, emotional effects of divorce, life after divorce, surviving divorce, Valentine's Day And Divorce --- ### [Is Divorce The Right Decision For You?](https://dwdignity.com/is-divorce-the-right-decision-for-you/) **Published:** May 3, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Many people who are considering divorce or separation have trouble making the decision. Maybe this is something you are going through right now. You may feel unhappy in your marriage, but afraid of the unknown – deciding to divorce can be scary. **Content:** Many people who are considering divorce or separation have trouble making the decision. Maybe this is something you are going through right now. You may feel unhappy in your marriage, but afraid of the unknown – deciding to divorce can be scary. Perhaps the same questions keep going around and around in your head, and answers seem out of your reach. How can you figure out if divorce is the right decision for you? We asked one of our [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) referral associates, Marriage & Family Therapist Susan Regan, MFT ([www.susanregan.org](http://www.susanregan.org/)), to give us some insight on this topic. **How do you help people to decide if divorce is the right decision for them?** I talk with them about the history of their relationship and find out where they are stuck. Then I educate them about the different processes the person who is initiating the idea of divorce goes through as opposed to the recipient. Initiators are often in a very different place than the recipients. By the time they have notified their partners that they are thinking about divorce, they have gone through some of the grieving already and may have “moved on” emotionally. Recipients, on the other hand, tend to cycle through rejection and hope. Sometimes initiators will be friendly to the recipients and try to help them out. This can give the recipient the false hope that they may be getting back together. Initiators often react to this by becoming angry and mean toward their spouses, which causes the recipients to feel rejection again, and everyone just gets stuck. I help people identify this emotional cycling and teach them how to get out of it by responding instead of reacting, and learning to take care of themselves. **How does “couples therapy” help people to sort out their options and decide whether to try to work things out or end the relationship?** Every relationship has its challenges, and all have the potential for healing to happen. Couples who address their problems early on can conquer them and heal by finding new ways of negotiating and finding harmony. But if they ignore their problems for years and years and then come to therapy for one last-ditch effort, it is sometimes too late. If they decide they can’t stay together anymore, then I can help them learn how to leave each other in the most emotionally effective way. **If the decision is to start the divorce process, what advice can you give the couple about doing so in a peaceful manner?** This is where I use Divorce With Dignity ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) a lot. Clients can work with one of their providers to figure out what issues they agree on and what still needs resolving. There is usually one thing they don’t agree on that is really symbolic of what the relationship meant to them. Having a Divorce With Dignity professional to talk to helps them negotiate the practical aspects of the divorce agreement in a peaceful and fair way. If you have decided that divorce is the right decision for you, Divorce With Dignity ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) can offer you a safe place to talk about your unique divorce situation. We can help you achieve your divorce with the least amount of stress possible, while saving you a great deal of money over the litigation route. Let us help you get through this difficult time – with peace and dignity. **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** considering divorce, deciding to divorce, divorce agreement, Divorce Process, marriage counseling, peaceful divorce --- ### [Seal and Heidi Klum To Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/seal-and-heidi-klum-to-divorce-with-dignity/) **Published:** February 16, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Last year, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony split up and are working out an amicable divorce. This year, Seal and Heidi Klum have also decided to end their marriage and are aiming for a “divorce with dignity” **Content:** Last year, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony split up and are working out an amicable divorce. This year, Seal and Heidi Klum have also decided to end their marriage and are aiming for a “divorce with dignity”, [read the article here](http://www.co-operative.coop/legalservices/latest-news/family-law/seal-and-heidi-klum-aim-for-divorce-with-dignity/?ArticleId=801273540). “Divorcing with dignity” may seem like an impossible challenge for some divorcing couples, but if both parties are willing set aside negative emotions and blame, and move forward to work things out cooperatively and fairly, the results will be well worth it – both for them and for their children. Heidi and Seal seem to understand and embrace this concept. On January 22 they made the announcement, “While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul searching we have decided to separate.” They state that they still have deep respect and love for one another, but they have grown apart. “This is an amicable process and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority, especially during this time of transition.” Refreshingly, they are not bashing or trashing each other in the media as many famous divorcing couples do. On the contrary – Seal recently appeared on *The Ellen Degeneres Show* and told viewers that Heidi is the “most wonderful woman in the world” and that they intend to “remain civil and do this thing with dignity”. An amicable divorce not only shows love and respect for each other, it also shows concern for their four children. Even if a divorcing couple is not able to feel a great deal of love and admiration for each other, they can still remain civil and strive for a relatively peaceful divorce. Going through an ugly and bitter litigated divorce would clearly not bring peace to the process. A better way is to avoid divorce court and work out a divorce settlement with a divorce support professional or a mediator. At Divorce With Dignity ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)), we offer a safe place to talk about your divorce, help in identifying points of agreement and disagreement, guidance through the divorce maze, and unlimited referrals to specialized support to help you through the various phases of the process. We give you the information you need to make the decisions that will help you get through this difficult time and build your new life. Weighing the advantages of a mediated divorce compared to a litigated divorce may convince both parties that it is worth the effort. Some of our previous blog postings have described these advantages in detail, but here’s a short summary – - Less expensive - Faster - You have more control - The agreement can be more flexible - Less likely to need settlement modifications - More confidentiality - Less stressful - Easier on children If you have made the decision to divorce, and want to make it as peaceful a process as possible, Divorce With Dignity can help. Visit us at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) to find a Divorce With Dignity provider in your area. Let us help you achieve a peaceful divorce – with dignity! **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, Divorce Process, Divorce support, divorce with dignity, heidi and seal, peaceful divorce, Seal and Heidi Klum --- ### [Starting The Divorce Process: A Client Interview](https://dwdignity.com/starting-the-divorce-process-a-client-interview/) **Published:** April 13, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** As difficult as it may be for a couple to decide that it’s time to end their marriage, it is often just the beginning of a grueling divorce process that saps their money and energy, and seems to drag on forever. **Content:** As difficult as it may be for a couple to decide that it’s time to end their marriage, it is often just the beginning of a grueling divorce process that saps their money and energy, and seems to drag on forever. That is, if they decide to go through the divorce using litigation and divorce lawyers. However, if they choose a ***divorce with dignity*** and agree to work things out cooperatively, the divorce can be achieved much faster, with less stress, and for much less cost. We spoke with one of our past clients who we’ll call “Claire” (not her real name), and asked her to tell us how it felt for her and her ex-husband to start and get through their ***divorce with dignity*** process, allowing each of them to get their needs taken care of and move on to their “new beginnings”. Claire was referred to Divorce With Dignity ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) by a friend who had been assisted by us and had been very pleased with the results. She also liked that Divorce With Dignity is community-based, not based on conflict, and could help her achieve her divorce at a reasonable cost. In this process, she found a few things that surprised her. When she and her husband met with their Divorce With Dignity provider to discuss what issues needed to be resolved, she told them that they were “in throwing distance” of what they each wanted. “She explained that we could try to work things out in her office, or she would refer them to a mediator for the issues that were still unresolved, or as a last resort they would have to go the more costly and antagonistic litigation route. She also mentioned that she had worked with people who were much further apart than we were on the issues, and she was still able to get them to work things out. That really surprised us and made us realize we could do that, too. She emphasized what was agreed on instead of what was not agreed on. Based on that, we felt more comfortable moving forward.” They also found the Divorce With Dignity approach surprising. “I expected to spend thousands and thousands of dollars, and that I would be totally burned. Instead, I found a sense of fairness. My husband thought he would ‘get screwed’, but that wasn’t the case. Our provider helped us get in touch with our values and helped us work things out in a way that was fair to both of us.” One more thing took them by surprise. “I had been to a divorce attorney who told me it would take a minimum of a year to do the divorce. But with Divorce With Dignity, it only took about five months from start to finish.” When asked if she would recommend Divorce With Dignity to someone considering divorce she answered, “Yes, and I actually have referred a lot of people. It’s an ethical service, unlike most services which are based on profit and have no vested interest in your coming to an agreement that is best for you.” If you would like to learn more about achieving a cooperative and peaceful divorce, please contact us at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "divorce assistance"). Getting a divorce doesn’t have to cost you lots of time and money. Let us help you get through your divorce – with dignity! **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** Divorce Advice, divorce attorneys, Divorce Lawyers, getting a divorce, how to start a divorce, prepare for divorce, starting a divorce --- ### [What’s Your Divorce Plan?](https://dwdignity.com/whats-your-divorce-plan/) **Published:** February 2, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** If you were about to start a project that included decisions that would affect almost every aspect of your life – including relationships, living arrangements, finances, your children, social interactions, etc. **Content:** If you were about to start a project that included decisions that would affect almost every aspect of your life – including relationships, living arrangements, finances, your children, social interactions, etc. – would you hire someone (for a LOT of money) to take everything over and handle it all in a contentious way? Or would you want to explore your options, learn how the legal system works with respect to your project, have more control over the decisions that will be made, and accomplish your goals for a lot less money and a lot less stress? Many people who have made the decision to divorce make the mistake of immediately hiring a divorce lawyer and having papers served on their spouse to begin court proceedings. I’m sure most of them think this is just how it’s done. But there are much better options. Before doing anything else, you need to get information and come up with a divorce plan. Try to find a divorce planning and facilitation service (like Divorce With Dignity – [www.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)) that can provide the information you need to make the best decisions. We offer you a safe, neutral place to talk about divorce and help you plan yours to create your optimal future and get through the divorce process with the least amount of stress possible. Every divorce is unique, so we work with you to find the best solutions for your particular situation. We can help you figure out – - How the legal system works in your state - The amount of money you’ll need to get a divorce and maintain a decent standard of living after the divorce - The issues you and your spouse might agree on, the issues you are not in agreement on, and the best way to come to an agreement on the matters of contention - Resources you may need to help you and your family through the divorce process and its effects - How to make your divorce as peaceful as possible We’ll guide you through the divorce maze, coach you on how to communicate with divorce attorneys, mediators, etc., and provide unlimited referrals based on your needs. We can help you prepare and file the necessary legal documents, and show you how to get your divorce without going through litigation. Choosing alternative methods of conflict resolution (if both parties are willing) will reduce the time, expense, stress, and animosity associated with a litigated divorce. Most of us in the Divorce With Dignity Network have been through a divorce ourselves, so we know what you’re going through and empathize with your needs. We’ve helped scores of people to obtain fast and easy divorces without all the costly court battles and bitter disputes. Our mission is to help you plan and achieve a divorce that is fair and affordable, and to make sure you and your children get all the help you deserve to make it through this difficult time in a way that maintains your self-respect and dignity. Contact us today ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) and speak with a Divorce With Dignity provider about how we can help you get through your divorce – with dignity! **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** annulment, Divorce Advice, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Working with a divorce coach](https://dwdignity.com/working-with-a-divorce-coach/) **Published:** May 10, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Because every divorce is unique, Divorce With Dignity takes a holistic approach to helping our clients through the divorce process. In addition to our work with clients to help them resolve issues, work out fair divorce settlements, and to assist them in filing the necessary divorce papers, we also counsel with them to determine what other outside help they may need in creating their new life. **Content:** Because every divorce is unique, [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/ "Divorce With Dignity") takes a holistic approach to helping our clients through the divorce process. In addition to our work with clients to help them resolve issues, work out fair divorce settlements, and to assist them in filing the necessary divorce papers, we also counsel with them to determine what other outside help they may need in creating their new life. This could mean, for example, referrals to mediators, moving companies, financial counselors, therapists, or coaches. One of the service providers we refer people to is Sara Crain, a therapist ([www.bayareashrink.com](http://www.bayareashrink.com/)) and life coach ([www.myloacoach.com](http://www.myloacoach.com/)) working in the San Francisco East Bay. One of her specialties is helping people through life transitions such as divorce. We spoke with Sara about what it is like to work with a divorce coach, and some of our conversation can be found in a previous blog posting (Achieve A Peaceful Divorce, Create The Life You Want, ). More of our conversation is addressed in this article. **What problems do you often see come up for people going through a divorce?** When you go through a divorce your identity has been irrevocably changed. People often feel “lost”. This is where my training as a coach comes in – I can help you get really clear about what makes you uniquely you – your values, feelings, how you want to be remembered when you’ve left this life. It sounds simple, but it is actually complex. I can support you in identifying what you want in your life, and then challenge you to take the next step toward your goal. **Can you give a few gems of wisdom or advice to those who are feeling lost, or who may feel they have lost their identity as well as their marriage?** I’d like to start with a story about a king who commissioned a metal worker to create something that would make him feel sad when he was happy, and happy when he felt sad. So the worker made him a ring that was inscribed “This too shall pass.” Even though you may feel lost, you are never completely lost – you *will* find your way. When you look back on your life to other major traumas or setbacks you’ve had, you may be able to see the meaning or the purpose of it now. And remember you *did* find your way through it. At Divorce With Dignity ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)), we offer you a safe place for you to talk about your unique divorce situation, and can provide referrals to as many other kinds of assistance as you need to help you through this very difficult time. Our mission is to support you and guide you through the divorce maze to achieve a more peaceful and much less costly divorce than through litigation, and to make sure you have access to other services you may need to achieve your goals and start your new life – with dignity! **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce Advice, divorce coach, Divorce papers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, Divorce support, life transitions, peaceful divorce --- ### [Benefits Of A Peaceful Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/benefits-of-a-peaceful-divorce/) **Published:** August 12, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** I know it seems counterintuitive, but it really is possible to have a peaceful divorce. And when people understand the benefits of getting through a divorce at least civilly, if not amicably, most will want to do just that **Content:** # Benefits Of A Peaceful Divorce Aug 12, 2013 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, Benefits Of Divorce, children and divorce, divorce aggrement, Divorce Benefits, Divorced Families, life after divorce, Meditade Divorce --- ### [Divorce Options: Limited Scope Representation](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-options-limited-scope-representation/) **Published:** September 17, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Did you know that you don’t have to choose between hiring a lawyer to handle everything in your divorce case, or going throught it without any legal advice? **Content:** Did you know that you don’t have to choose between hiring a lawyer to handle everything in your divorce case, or going throught it without any legal advice? Hiring a lawyer to do it all for you can be quite expensive. But perhaps you just need some legal advice on a few specific issues. Can you hire a lawyer to help you with just those issues? Yes, you can. It’s called Limited Scope Representation (LSR), and it refers to an agreement between a client and a lawyer that defines the specific legal services the lawyer will provide. For example, the lawyer can agree to provide consultation, legal information, and advice about your case. Or, you can have an arrangement for the lawyer to do discovery and legal research for you, but not represent you in court. With LSR, the amount of billable time for the lawyer will be greatly reduced from what it would cost for him/her to take on your entire case, at great savings to you. For many divorcing couples, utilizing a divorce planning and facilitation service like Divorce With Dignity ([dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)) combined with Limited Scope Representation by a lawyer for specific legal issues is a perfect blend. The overall cost of the divorce will be greatly reduced when compared to full representation a lawyer, and they still can get legal advice and services on an as-needed basis. I spoke recently with one of our Divorce With Dignity (DWD) affiliate owners in Florida, Christina Nevins, about LSR and how it can be combined with the services DWD offers. #### Under what circumstances would you refer a client to an attorney for Limited Scope Representation? Only if the issues were particularly complex and/or required that legal advice be given. A situation I can envision in which I would do so might be if my client believed that his or her spouse was hiding assets or if he/she had a question regarding his/her legal rights with regard to the spousal home and it was a more complicated issue than usual. As Divorce With Dignity affiliates, we are not permitted to provide legal advice, so in that case, I would recommend limited scope representation from an attorney. #### How can Limited Scope Representation help someone going through a divorce? LSR can help with pretty much any aspect of divorce: child support, alimony, financial disclosures, etc. #### Do you coach your clients on how to deal with lawyers when requesting Limited Scope Representation? Absolutely. I would only refer them to lawyers that I know are willing to do LSR, but still they need to know how to define what they need, how to discuss the case with the lawyer, and how to keep within the “scope” of LSR. #### How do you feel about Divorce With Dignity’s mission to assist people holistically through their divorce by referring them to other services that might help them, in addition to the services you are providing them? DWD’s mission to assist people holistically through the divorce process is one of the things that first drew me to DWD. Divorces do not occur in a vacuum, and there are so many other areas that need to be addressed: financial, emotional, physical, spiritual, legal, etc. To the extent that I can provide referrals and assistance in those other areas, I feel that I have done a good job. The holistic approach is really, I think, what distinguishes DWD from other divorce services providers. As Christina said, our holistic approach at Divorce With Dignity truly sets us apart. We understand that divorce affects so many aspects in life, and that our clients often need more than simply having the paperwork produced and filed with the courts. Contact your local Divorce With Dignity affiliate ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) to learn more about how we can assist you – we are ready to help you get through your divorce with all the support you need. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** cost of divorce, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce support, florida divorce, hiring a lawyer, legal advice for divorce, limited scope representation --- ### [Divorce: Providing Emotional Support For Children](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-providing-emotional-support-for-children/) **Published:** July 5, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Parents who are considering divorce have many questions, but one of the big ones I hear in my Divorce With Dignity office is, “How can I help my children get through this?” Providing emotional support for the children, both during and after a divorce, is essential to their well-being. **Content:** Parents who are considering divorce have many questions, but one of the big ones I hear in my Divorce With Dignity office is, “How can I help my children get through this?” Providing emotional support for the children, both during and after a divorce, is essential to their well-being. It is very important to get them some help whether or not they show signs of stress. Many children will hold things inside that can fester and grow into big problems down the road. Some will think that the divorce is somehow their fault, even if they do not express this to you. Be sure to tell them that the divorce is definitely not their fault, and express your and your spouse’s continued love for them. And get them some help. Talking with a school counselor, social worker, or therapist can give children a way to express their feelings and get emotional support. Participating in groups or programs specifically for children whose parents are going through divorce can also be of great benefit. One such organization is [Kids’ Turn](http://www.kidsturn.org/ "Kids Turn"), located in the San Francisco Bay Area. They are a non-profit group that helps families through parental separation. Their motto is “Putting kids in the center of healing, not in the middle of conflict.” Services are free for the children, and the parents pay on a sliding fee basis. No family is turned away due to inability to pay. In addition to professional help, there are things parents can do to provide emotional support and ease the stress of the divorce on their children. One information resource with great advice for helping children cope with divorce is [KidsHealth](http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/help_child_divorce.html "KidsHealth"). Some tips from their website are: - **Encourage honesty.** Let them know that their feelings are important to you, and that they can tell you whatever they’re thinking. - **Help them put their feelings into words.** You might notice some changes in their behavior that can indicate feelings of sadness or anger. You might say, “It seems as if you’re feeling sad right now. Do you know what’s making you feel so sad?” Then really listen, even if what they say is difficult for you to hear. - **Legitimize their feelings.** Let them know what they are feeling is valid and understandable. - **Offer support.** Ask them what they think might help them feel better. If they don’t know, you could suggest some ideas such as sitting close together for awhile, holding a favorite stuffed animal, or drawing a picture. - **Keep yourself healthy.** Find ways to manage your own stress and emotions. Getting exercise and enough sleep can support your physical and emotional health, which enables you to take care of your children’s needs. Talking with a counselor or religious leader, finding a support group, or working with a therapist can also be a big help. One important way to reduce the emotional burden of the divorce on your children is to avoid an adversarial litigated divorce and instead work together to have your divorce be as peaceful as possible. At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/), you will find a safe place to talk about your divorce, understand your options, learn how to create a divorce agreement that is fair to all parties, and get through the divorce process – with dignity. **Categories:** Children and Divorce Rates, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** children and divorce, Divorce Process, emotional support for children during divorce, kids turn, KidsHealth --- ### [Divorced Parents: Minimizing Conflicts In Shared Custody](https://dwdignity.com/divorced-parents-minimizing-conflicts-in-shared-custody/) **Published:** June 14, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce is hard enough – but then divorced parents often have to contend with shared custody conflicts. These conflicts can arise from miscommunications, misunderstandings, or just forgetfulness about aspects of the agreement. How can divorced parents minimize these conflicts and make life easier on themselves and their children? **Content:** Divorce is hard enough – but then divorced parents often have to contend with shared custody conflicts. These conflicts can arise from miscommunications, misunderstandings, or just forgetfulness about aspects of the agreement. How can divorced parents minimize these conflicts and make life easier on themselves and their children? One tool that can help is an Internet-based program called ShareKids specifically designed to help manage joint child custody and co-parenting. Serving families throughout the United States and beyond, it facilitates communication and planning for the welfare of the children. Information in the centralized data repository is kept secure by a comprehensive permissions system, which allows sensitive data to be marked as “private” (viewable only by the creator) or “shared” (accessible by other members on the account). That way, selected information can be shared with relatives, counselors, teachers, coaches, and guardian ad-litems. ShareKids provides an infrastructure for managing such information as – - Mail messaging and correspondence - Appointments - Events and activity scheduling - Color-coded shared custody, visitation, and vacation schedules - School schedules - Homework assignments - Financial accounting for shared expenses and child or spousal support - Medical insurance information - Medication schedules and prescription tracking - Rules regarding court orders and other agreements - Important documents, such as copies of birth certificates, immunization shot records, etc. - Personal contacts/address book - Personal diary/incident logbook - Photo albums and photo galleries - And much more… Plus, new features are added regularly in response to client requests. Registration is free, and once registered, the client will be asked to define the co-parent, the children, and the shared schedule calendar. Parents pay a nominal fee per month (currently $15) and discounts are given if prepaid for a full year. There is no additional charge for guests who are added to the account. Parents who are truly strapped financially can contact ShareKids who will work out some arrangement. Go to their site to learn more about [ShareKids](http://sharekids.com/). Managing the many aspects of shared custody and co-parenting will help to minimize stress and conflicts – for the parents and the children. Having all the important information organized in one place, and having the ability to share that information between the spouses as well as with selected others in a secure environment, promotes good communication and peace. At Divorce With Dignity, we are all about helping you getting through your divorce with peace and dignity, and helping you find the tools to maintain that peace and dignity after the divorce as well. In addition to guiding you through the divorce process and filing the divorce papers for you, part of our service is to provide you with as many referrals as you need to address the issues in your unique situation. Besides tools for co-parenting, such as ShareKids, we can also refer clients to services such as mediators, divorce/life coaches, therapists, financial counselors, movers, and more. To find a provider near you, please visit us at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** child custody conflicts, children and divorce, Co-Parenting, Divorce Process --- ### [Emotional Support During Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/emotional-support-during-divorce/) **Published:** September 30, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce With Dignity (dwdignity.com) is a divorce planning and facilitation service that takes a holistic approach to the divorce process. We understand that there is more to getting through a divorce than just the legal paperwork. As part of our service to our clients, **Content:** Divorce With Dignity ([dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)) is a divorce planning and facilitation service that takes a holistic approach to the divorce process. We understand that there is more to getting through a divorce than just the legal paperwork. As part of our service to our clients, we offer referrals to affiliate professionals who can assist them with other aspects of divorce – for example, emotional support and life coaching. One organization we often refer clients to is Wings for Women ([wingsforwomen.net](http://wingsforwomen.net/)). The organization’s founder, Keiko Hsu, is an award-winning certified Life Coach and Life-After-Divorce Mentor. Her passion is coaching, mentoring, and inspiring women after a “life-shaking transition such as divorce” to help them “find their wings, reach new heights in their life, career and relationships, and live a joyful life”. We asked Keiko to share with us some of her thoughts on emotional support while going through a divorce, and coping mechanisms to deal with negative emotions. Divorce is probably the most emotionally traumatic event anyone can go through. It brings up all kinds of emotions – feelings of failure, sadness, anger, resentment, fear of the unknown, and fear about not being good enough to attract another partner. You are not alone – many people feel this way. It’s very important to address your emotions; don’t try to just sweep them under the rug. They are telling you something and you need to understand what they’re telling you, and deal with that. Another very important thing: if you are working with a lawyer, recognize that your lawyer is NOT your therapist. Don’t vent and pour out your emotions to your lawyer. And don’t let your emotions make you retaliate through the legal system against your ex. If you let your emotions take over, you may make some very unwise decisions from a legal point of view and you’ll get caught in a long drawn-out legal battle that will cost you months of agony and very expensive legal bills. While it is normal to experience a host of negative emotions surrounding divorce, you need to recognize when it is serious enough to see a counselor or therapist. One guideline: if you’re crying every day, feeling an immense amount of grief, it’s probably more than you can handle on your own and you should seek some professional help. Otherwise, there are some methods for coping with negative emotions. We need to allow ourselves to feel the feelings and understand the messages they are giving us, but we also need to set boundaries on how much time we focus on our emotions. One method I suggest is to set a specific time period, say an hour, and tell yourself, “I’m going to allow myself to sit here and really feel these emotions for the next hour”, and then when the time is up, get up and do something else. This helps you to keep control and still live your life and get other things done. Another way to cope is to talk with a friend, preferably someone who has been through a divorce, too. Or talk with a professional coach who has been trained to help you deal with emotions and set your life on a new course. Most important: Be kind to yourself. People will often beat themselves up about what they should have/could have done. The breakup was most probably meant to happen as a wake-up call that your relationship wasn’t serving you, and you deserve much better. Forgive your spouse and forgive yourself, because forgiveness will give you the freedom to move on with your life. If you have decided that divorce is the right course for you, Divorce With Dignity can help you assess your situation and specific needs, assist you with your divorce planning and the legal paperwork, and connect you with other professionals whose services may be helpful to you. To learn more, contact your local Divorce With Dignity affiliate ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)). We’re here to support you so you can get through the divorce process – with dignity. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** approved comment, coping with negative emotions of divorce, emotional support during divorce, Wings for Women --- ### [Financial Planning For Divorce: The Long-Term View](https://dwdignity.com/financial-planning-for-divorce-the-long-term-view/) **Published:** August 9, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** For many people going through the stress and pain of divorce, there is a tendency to think only of the immediate future when dealing with financial issues surrounding the divorce. When faced with financial decisions they often say they “don’t care”, they just want to get the whole thing over with. But without proper analysis and planning, the financial ramifications of decisions made during a divorce can last a lifetime. **Content:** For many people going through the stress and pain of divorce, there is a tendency to think only of the immediate future when dealing with financial issues surrounding the divorce. When faced with financial decisions they often say they “don’t care”, they just want to get the whole thing over with. But without proper analysis and planning, the financial ramifications of decisions made during a divorce can last a lifetime. To get the best perspective on the financial consequences of various options in a divorce settlement, Divorce With Dignity providers ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) often advise clients to work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA). CDFAs have specialized training in financial issues pertaining to divorce, and can help forecast the short and long-term effects of different divorce settlement scenarios, empowering clients to make informed decisions about their future. Susan Campbell, Principal of Buena Vista Financial Resources ([www.BVFinancialResources.com](http://www.bvfinancialresources.com/)), is a CDFA who also has over 20 years experience as a Certified Financial Planner. I often refer my clients to her, and I asked her for some advice on long-term financial planning for divorce. **What are some implications of focusing only on the present/short-term financial arrangements (and ignoring the long-term issues)?** One of the most common scenarios is that one of the spouses wants to keep the house, and so they trade off other assets in order to do this. But what often happens is that they end up going through their savings and run up their credit cards due to unplanned expenses for maintenance. A CDFA can help determine what the costs of keeping the house will be. Another thing divorcing couples often do is fail to recognize that their relationship is likely to change over the years. A couple may be amicable now, but a few years later one of them could remarry and the new spouse may have very different feelings about some of the financial arrangements. That’s why it is so important to make sure your divorce agreement is complete. Five years from now you won’t be able to go back and say, “Oh, I made a mistake,” and make changes. We help focus the conversation on the long-term and help people remove the emotion that is always present in these conversations. I tell people to “put on your business hat” and treat this as a negotiation. **What are some of the considerations that are often overlooked in the financial aspects of a divorce settlement?** The most common one I see is when someone has a pension. Those accounts are not the same as an IRA and must be valued by a pension valuation company. You may know how much you will get at retirement, but it is difficult to determine the current value of the pension for purposes of a divorce settlement. **Do you have one piece of financial advice that you’d like to offer someone who is contemplating divorce?** Focus on the long-term; with planning, future problems can be avoided. Remember that there is rarely one “perfect” solution that will work for both of you, so know what your priorities are and be willing to compromise. There is one “pie” that now needs to be split, and you don’t each get your own whole pie. The providers in the Divorce With Dignity Network are dedicated to assisting our clients according to their unique needs as we guide them through the divorce process. As part of our service, we can refer them to specialists like CDFAs for more in-depth help. If you are contemplating divorce, we urge you to get the planning help you need to ensure your best possible future. Learn more about how we can help you get through your divorce with careful preparation – and dignity – at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, divorce and money, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, financial advice for divorce, Financial Planning For Divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [Grandparents and divorce — A Great Support During Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/grandparents-and-divorce-a-great-support-during-divorce/) **Published:** September 2, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Going through a divorce is always difficult, and when children are involved, it’s doubly so. In other blog postings we’ve talked about building your divorce support team. Grandparents can play an extremely important role on the support team – for both you and your children. For kids, finding out that their parents are divorcing and their family is breaking up is devastating. Their world is turned upside down, and they worry about so many things. Life at home is changing and unstable. How can grandparents ease their anxiety and help them through this? They can assure the children that they are loved and still belong to a family. They can provide stability. While life in the children’s home may be disrupted, it’s important that they feel life at grandma and grandpa’s house is the same as it ever was. Grandparents can help by maintaining routines around mealtimes, storytime, help with homework, etc. Spending time with the kids doing fun things together can help to relieve the stress they are feeling. Baking cookies together, going for a walk in the park, gardening, or going on a camping trip are some ways to help the children focus on good times instead of worrying about what’s going on with their parents. It’s important, too, for the grandparents’ home to be a “neutral zone”. It should not be a place where anyone has to “take sides”. Parents need to realize that it is not the role of the grandparents to elicit information from the children about the other spouse, or to make comments about him/her to the children. Remember that the children still love both their mom and dad, and grandparents should take care to avoid being negative about either parent. The focus for the grandparents should be on nurturing their relationship with their grandchildren. How can you, as a parent, foster this relationship during and after the divorce? By not letting whatever negative emotions you may be feeling toward your spouse/ex spill over onto other members of his/her family. One of the greatest fears grandparents have in a divorce situation is losing contact with their grandchildren, especially if custody is predominantly with the parent who is not their child. Do everything you can to assure them that you will continue to give them access to their grandchildren. Keep the lines of communication open, and invite them to your children’s school functions, concerts, sports games, and graduations. Let them know that regardless of the divorce, you want them to be involved with their grandchildren. By doing all you can to keep the connection between your children and their grandparents intact, you will be giving a great gift to the entire family. The grandparents can provide a safe haven for your children through this difficult time, lessening the burden and stress on them. This in turn will lessen the burden and stress on you, too. Divorce With Dignity is a national network of divorce support professionals who provide divorce planning and facilitation services. We take a holistic approach to helping people get through the divorce process, which includes encouraging them to build a divorce support “team”. Depending on the divorcing couple’s situation and particular needs, this team could include professionals in the financial, counseling, and/or legal fields (for which we can provide quality referrals), as well as friends and family members. Grandparents can play a significant role as part of this team by providing loving support and a stabilizing influence on their grandchildren, which ultimately also supports the divorcing couple. Would you like to know more about our holistic, integrated, and comprehensive approach to divorce? Visit our website ([www.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)), and then contact a Divorce With Dignity affiliate near you ([www.findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)). Let us show you how we can help you achieve a peaceful and cost-effective divorce with the support you need. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** children Of divorce, Divorce support, effects of divorce on children, grandparents divorce, holistic divorce, peaceful divorce --- ### [How Is Child Support Calculated?](https://dwdignity.com/how-is-child-support-calculated/) **Published:** August 30, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Many factors are considered when calculating the amount of child support during the divorce process. Every state has its own guidelines and algorithms to determine a base amount, and the Court may provide for additional expenses not automatically included. To give a general idea of how child support is calculated, we will look at guidelines from two sample states – California and Illinois. **California In 1992, the California legislature adopted an algebraic formula to calculate child support. Because of the complexity of the formula, most judges and family law attorneys use computer programs based on the California Child Support Guidelines to do the calculations. The calculator programs provide only an estimated amount; the Court Commissioner or Family Law Judge has the authority to consider additional factors that may affect the final amount of support ordered. The guidelines are based both on each parent’s gross monthly income, and the amount of time the child is cared for by each parent. Income from all sources is considered, even if it is not reported or taxed under federal and state law. Examples of income sources are: - Wages from a job - Tips - Commissions - Bonuses - Self-employment earnings - Unemployment benefits - Disability and workers’ compensation benefits - Interest - Dividends - Rental income - Social Security or pensions - Any payments or credits due or becoming due, such as lottery and prize winnings The income is calculated by subtracting certain items from each parent’s income, including: - Mandatory union dues - Mandatory retirement contributions - Health premiums - Child or spousal support actually being paid - Costs of raising children from another relationship Additional factors that may affect the final amount of support are: - health care insurance costs for the child - medical costs which are not covered by insurance - child care costs that are employment related or reasonably necessary for the education or training for employment skills of a party - visitation travel expenses - any special educational needs **Illinois Unlike California, Illinois currently bases the amount of child support on the non-custodial parent’s net income and the number of children for which he or she is responsible. There is a guideline for the minimum percentage of that net income, such as 20% for one child up to 50% for six or more children. However the financial resources and needs of both the child(ren) and the parents may be taken into account if the guideline amount is deemed inappropriate after considering the best interest of the child(ren). The income sources and deductions rules are similar to California’s. However, state officials have proposed a big change to the way Illinois calculates child support. If this change is adopted this year, it likely would not take effect for two or three years. If that happens, Illinois would abandon its “percentage of income” formula which dates from the 1980s and join the majority of other states to use an “income shares” formula, which approximates how much it would cost for the parents to jointly raise a child, and then ensures that the child is supported by that amount. Proponents claim that the old model doesn’t take into account the realities of many modern families (such as shared custody), and adopting the new system would be more fair and workable for most families. **In conclusion** While California and Illinois provide a comparison of how child support is calculated in different states, the child support guidelines and calculations can differ widely from state to state, so it is important to consult a family law professional to make sure you understand how it works in your area. It is also very important to understand that if you agree on an amount of child support, most states will honor your agreement no matter what guideline is. You can contact a Divorce With Dignity affiliate ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) near you to learn more about child custody and other issues affecting your divorce agreement. Let us help you through the difficult divorce process – with dignity! **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** California child support, child support, child support guidelines, Divorce Process, family law, how child support is calculated, Illinois child support --- ### [Legal Support To Help You Through Your Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/legal-support-to-help-you-through-your-divorce/) **Published:** August 19, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** It’s a common belief that when people decide to get a divorce, the procedure is to hire a lawyer and then fight it out in divorce court. This certainly is one way to go about it, but rarely is it the best way. **Content:** It’s a common belief that when people decide to get a divorce, the procedure is to hire a lawyer and then fight it out in divorce court. This certainly is one way to go about it, but rarely is it the best way. There are much better alternatives. So, what types of legal support are available, and which do you need to help you through your divorce? Because every marriage and therefore every divorce is unique, the various legal options for obtaining a divorce should be evaluated to determine which one is right for your situation. Do you and your spouse agree on everything (or almost) with regard to the divorce agreement? If so, you might be tempted to use a do-it-yourself online divorce service, but I would not recommend this. Divorce can be quite complicated, financially and legally, and it’s easy to make mistakes that could negatively affect you later. It would be well worth your time and money in the long run to get some legal help with your divorce decisions and paperwork. And if you still have a few issues you are having trouble resolving, you will need more than what an online divorce service can offer. Divorce With Dignity ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) is a divorce planning and facilitation service, ready to assist with simple or complicated divorces. We understand what you are going through, and can help you assess what your service needs are. Our goal is to inform you about the divorce process, help you get clarity on unresolved issues, and negotiate a divorce agreement that is fair and acceptable to both parties. When legal advice is needed, we coach you in communicating with divorce attorneys or mediators in order to save you time and money. We can refer you to trusted legal professionals with whom you can contract for just the specific help you need. However, if there is no Divorce With Dignity office near you, here are some other legal support options. Independent Paralegal or a Legal Documentation Service They can get all the legal papers prepared and filed with the court for you. Depending on where you live and the type of service you use, this could cost you about $2,000 or less. Try to get referrals from friends, or look on YP.com (online yellow pages) to search for “paralegal”, “legal document”, etc. Look for reviews on Yelp, Google, or Yahoo to make sure they have a good reputation. Divorce Mediator This type of legal support is for couples who need help coming to an agreement on some issues. Again, try to get recommendations from friends, or look for one with good reviews. Make sure it’s someone who has extensive experience in family law; even better, try to find one who specializes exclusively in family law issues. If the divorce mediator is also an attorney, verify that he/she only does mediation and does not do any litigation. His/her job is to help the two of you resolve outstanding issues, work out a settlement you can both agree on, and then type up the forms and divorce agreement for you. The costs will probably be more than a legal document preparation service, but less than regular attorney fees. Divorce Attorney If you and your spouse are in agreement on all matters, you can hire an attorney to do all the paperwork for you and nothing more. Be sure to only hire someone who has been recommended to you, or who has excellent reviews. Ask her/him to clarify up front the exact cost of the service (not an estimate). If you have decided that divorce is the right decision for you, and there is a Divorce With Dignity office near you ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)), we invite you to give us a call. More than a legal document preparation service, and much less expensive than a divorce mediator or attorney, we work with people who want to achieve a divorce in a peaceful, timely, and affordable way. We would be pleased to talk with you and let you know how we can help you get through this – with dignity and integrity. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** divorce agreement, divorce attorneys, divorce mediators, legal options for divorce, legal services for divorce, legal support for divorce --- ### [Moving Out: A Client’s Divorce Story](https://dwdignity.com/moving-out-a-clients-divorce-story/) **Published:** June 28, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** A short time ago I posted a blog called “Living Arrangements During And After Your Divorce”, and today’s blog is the same topic on a more personal level. One of my clients, who I’ll call “Amy” (not her real name), agreed to tell us a little of her story. **Content:** A short time ago I posted a blog called “Living Arrangements During And After Your Divorce”, and today’s blog is the same topic on a more personal level. One of my clients, who I’ll call “Amy” (not her real name), agreed to tell us a little of her story. For many people, living arrangements during the divorce process are dictated by financial concerns and they opt to stay in the same house for awhile. But when Amy decided to divorce, she felt she needed to get out of the home as soon as possible. The environment had become “toxic” for her so staying was just not an option. Her daughter was away at college, but her son was still living with them. She offered him the choice of living with his father or moving out with her. He chose to stay, since his father “had no rules”, a situation that appealed to the teenage boy. Moving out was tough on her. She did not get to see her son on a regular basis, and she was suddenly alone, without family around her. It was a very lonely time for her. I asked Amy how she coped – “a lot of prayer and meditation, spending a lot of time with a lot of close girlfriends, and talking with \[my [Divorce With Dignity provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)\]”. During these talks, she says, “I was able to allow my emotions to come through and be sad and cry”. It was very challenging financially as well. She was working full time, but still had to dip into her savings and 401k to make ends meet. She offers some advice to people who are in the process of deciding to leave – “be very intensely focused on building up savings”. There were also some definite advantages to her moving out. Not only did Amy get herself out of the toxic situation with her spouse, but she was able to concentrate on what she needed to do. “I was now on my own, so I wasn’t mothering anyone or being a wife to anyone, so I could just take care of me.” So how did her Divorce With Dignity provider help her through the decisions and legal necessities of her divorce, in addition to the emotional issues? “She was very caring and very insightful. She explained what was going on and always gave me different options to consider. It’s run in a very professional way, and she did everything she said she would do in a timely way, so we got through the paperwork quickly. I received compassion and knowledge in a loving, calm, serene environment. I had been through a previous divorce using divorce lawyers. The atmosphere \[at Divorce With Dignity\] was like night and day compared to a lawyer’s office, where you talk mainly to clerks and secretaries, and spend very little time with the attorney. Plus it \[Divorce With Dignity\] cost me a lot less than the $20,000 I spent using lawyers in my previous divorce.” If you are considering divorce and would like to talk with someone in a peaceful environment about what decisions need to be made, what your options are, and how the divorce process works, I invite you to contact your nearest [Divorce With Dignity provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). Let us help you figure out the best way to get through your divorce – with dignity! **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce Advice, divorce costs, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, living arrangements during divorce --- ### [Preparing Financially For Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/preparing-financially-for-divorce/) **Published:** August 2, 2012 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce is emotionally devastating, and if you don’t prepare properly it could be financially devastating as well. If you are anticipating a divorce, it is time to figure out your finances. Here are the basic steps to preparing financially for divorce. **Content:** Divorce is emotionally devastating, and if you don’t prepare properly it could be financially devastating as well. If you are anticipating a divorce, it is time to figure out your finances. Here are the basic steps to preparing financially for divorce. **1) Gather as much documentation as you can.** The types of document to gather (originals or copies) include your most recent: - Tax returns (last 3-5 years) & W2’s - Bank statements - Credit card statements - Credit reports - Investment account statements - Retirement account statements - Deeds - Mortgage statements - Property tax bills - Loan papers - Insurance records **2) Determine what you own.** Create an inventory of all your possessions, making notes about what belonged to each spouse before the marriage and what was purchased after. If you have receipts for any major purchases, make copies of those. Make a list of the possessions you want to retain. **3) Determine all sources of income.** This includes paychecks, business income, bonuses, cash “under the table”, stock options, what is being deferred into retirement accounts, etc. for both you and your spouse. **4) Determine what you owe.** Check your credit report for outstanding debts. Get statements showing the balance due on all those accounts. Obtain information about all loans. **5) Create a preliminary budget of what expenses you will incur during the divorce.** Obtaining the divorce – - Filing fees - Attorney fees (expensive!) or the much lower costs of a divorce support professional (like a Divorce With Dignity provider – [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) Getting the professional support you need – - Emotional - Financial - Coaching - Children’s needs Housing costs incurred for – - Selling the home - One or both spouses moving to a new place - Setting up a new household **6) Create a preliminary budget for what you will need to live on after the divorce.** One of the biggest problems divorcing couples face is how to maintain the same standard of living after the divorce. Going from one budget to two budgets on the same income can be tricky. You may have to think of creative alternatives, such as home sharing, getting a better-paying job, selling some assets for temporary income as you train for a new career, or lowering your standard of living. Besides the costs of maintaining a household, you may also need to take into account the following – - Children – school/tuition, extracurricular activities, childcare, health insurance premiums, health care costs not covered by insurance, child support expenses - Spousal/Alimony support – will one party need financial help from the other? If so, how much and for how long? Think about the most you want to have and your bottom line, because you’ll probably end up somewhere in the middle. **7) Accumulate some cash.** You will need money to live on, pay for the divorce, and perhaps hire legal, financial or mental health professionals to support you through the divorce. There may also be costs for moving and acquiring a new place to live. Start to save some cash each week. **8) Get professional financial support, if needed.** If you have a lot of assets, debt, or complex tax considerations, you will likely need help from a financial professional. Divorce With Dignity can provide referrals for the type of help you need, including Certified Public Accountants, Certified Divorce Financial Analysts, Credit Counselors, and Financial Coaches. There are so many things to think about when preparing for a divorce. Finances are only one aspect, but it is a major one. Get a handle on this before doing anything else, and it will make things easier in the long run. Getting a divorce doesn’t have to cost you a ton of money. Let us help you discover your options and get through your divorce – with dignity! Learn more at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** cost of divorce, Divorce Advice, divorce and money, divorce costs, Divorce support, planning for divorce, preparing financially for divorce --- ### [Releasing Negative Emotions Of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/releasing-negative-emotions-of-divorce/) **Published:** October 14, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** In our previous blog post, we shared some insights from one of our referral associates, Keiko Hsu, on finding emotional support during divorce. **Content:** In our previous blog post, we shared some insights from one of our referral associates, Keiko Hsu, on finding emotional support during divorce. Keiko is the founder of Wings for Women ([www.wingsforwomen.net](http://www.wingsforwomen.net/)), an organization that focuses on coaching, mentoring, and inspiring women after a “life-shaking transition such as divorce”. As part of our divorce planning and facilitation service, we at Divorce With Dignity often refer clients to other professionals and services they may need to put their lives back together during and after the divorce. We asked Keiko what advice she would give to people going through divorce about releasing the negative emotions of divorce, and about how to prepare themselves for a better life after divorce. She talked about how important it is to forgive yourself and forgive your soon-to-be-ex. “Forgiveness does not mean that you condone their behavior – it’s releasing their hold on you to free yourself from past resentments so you can move on.” So, how can people in the midst of the emotional turmoil associated with divorce get themselves into a mindset of forgiveness, and how can they release all the negative emotional energy to make way for the positive? Keiko has the following suggestions – 7 Ways to Release Negative Emotional Energy 1. Journaling – Lets you express what needs to be expressed. Good for venting and releasing that energy. Keeping a journal of what you’re going through can also help you to see the progress you’ve made. If you have a lot to say to your soon-to-be-ex but don’t want to say it to his/her face, try writing it in a letter, seal it in an envelope, and then burn it. Going through this ritual is a way to unload the burden from your heart and release that energy into the universe. 2. Meditation – A way to connect to your inner spirit and your higher self. Even just 10 minutes a day, or several times a week will have a great effect. Give yourself that quiet time to find inner calm and peace. 3. Gratitude – No matter what’s going on in your divorce, there’s bound to be some good things going on in your life. Focus on those, and cultivate an “attitude of gratitude” which is a high vibration of energy that will make you feel good and keep the negative emotions from hijacking your mind. 4. Sleep – Getting enough sleep will enable your body and your brain to recharge and energize. 5. Exercise – Move your body! It will get your blood pumping and make you feel better! I highly recommend taking a Zumba class, which is vigorous exercise done to high energy, joyful music. 6. Hydration – Drink plenty of water. It’s amazing what staying hydrated does to improve your brain and body function; it’s like washing away your toxic emotions. 7. Nutrition – Be careful what you eat. Some foods will make you feel more depressed. Avoid gluten (as in wheat products) which interferes with the body’s natural ability to generate seratonin (a “feel good” chemical). Avoid sugar because although it might make you feel good temporarily, you will crash hard soon after. Keiko also advises that in order to create the new life you want after divorce, you need to discover your your passions – the things that will really “make your heart sing”. Getting clarity on this will help you to find your path to your goals. To help you get started, you can download her free “Passions Discovery Guide” on her website, [www.wingsforwomen.net](http://www.wingsforwomen.net/). Let Divorce With Dignity help you through the divorce process in a holistic way, addressing the various aspects of your life that are affected by divorce. To learn more about how we can help, contact your local Divorce With Dignity affiliate at [www.findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). If you are going to divorce, do it with dignity and find your wings! **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** dealing with emotions of divorce, divorce facilitation, divorce planning, forgiveness in divorce, releasing negative emotions, Wings for Women --- ### [Should I Hire A Divorce Coach?](https://dwdignity.com/should-i-hire-a-divorce-coach/) **Published:** July 29, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce can be complicated. There are many aspects to it that don’t have anything to do with the legal process itself. Coping with a variety of feelings, trying to figure out what your future will look like, learning new ways of dealing with your changing world **Content:** Divorce can be complicated. There are many aspects to it that don’t have anything to do with the legal process itself. Coping with a variety of feelings, trying to figure out what your future will look like, learning new ways of dealing with your changing world – how can a person going through divorce address these issues? Where can you get the divorce coaching and divorce support you need to get through the process in the best way possible? One way is by working with a Divorce Coach who can help you get clarity on what your values and priorities are, and how you will use them to make decisions during the divorce process and after. A Divorce Coach is someone who will be “in your corner” to guide you, support you and cheer you on. ### What is a Divorce Coach? A Divorce Coach is a professional who specializes in assisting people to be their best selves while going through the divorce process, and to plan their best futures after the divorce. Twenty or so years ago, we saw a surge of life coaches, and the concept of a divorce coach evolved as a specialty in this field. ### What training/background do Divorce Coaches have? Most Divorce Coaches have a counseling background with training in mediation and family dynamics. However, some have come from the legal or financial professions, and have decided to focus their work on coaching people through divorce issues. There are institutions which offer certifications for Divorce Coaches, but there are no official standards or programs for such certifications, so anyone can call themselves a Divorce Coach. You’ll want to look for someone who has a combination of professional education and experience in the areas that will address your particular needs. ### What do they cost? The average cost per hour is $100 to $150, but this can vary based on geographical location. Some coaches offer packages where prepaying for a series of sessions will result in a lower cost per hour. ### How can a Divorce Coach help? Depending on what your needs are, a Divorce Coach can be of assistance by: - being a good listener and sounding board as you define who you are, who you want to be, and what your goals and priorities are - giving you a chance to vent and offering suggestions on how to cope with all the negative emotions - offering objective guidance – not legal advice, not therapy, but assistance in discovering your authentic self and help in planning the pathway to your desired future - teaching you how to communicate with your ex in ways that reduce confrontations and conflict - helping you to set boundaries - working with you to explore issues such as co-parenting with your ex after the divorce, or starting to date again - being your cheerleader as you take the steps towards living a happier life At Divorce With Dignity ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "Divorce With Dignity Provider")), we provide a safe place for you to talk about your divorce situation. In addition to helping you with filing the divorce papers with the courts, we offer guidance through the divorce maze, and help in negotiating and resolving issues to create a fair and peaceful divorce settlement. If you feel the need for additional help in defining goals, managing feelings, and deciding how you want to handle yourself during the divorce to be true to your best self, we can refer you to a trusted Divorce Coach to be part of your divorce support team. Let us help you build your support team as we work together to achieve your divorce – with dignity and integrity. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce Advice, divorce coach, divorce coaching, Divorce support --- ### [Thank Goodness For Divorce With Dignity!](https://dwdignity.com/thank-goodness-for-divorce-with-dignity/) **Published:** October 21, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** It used to be that whenever we heard about people getting a divorce, whether they were celebrities or people we knew, we almost always heard about the bitter struggles, the antagonistic court battles, and the vitriolic comments they made about each other. **Content:** It used to be that whenever we heard about people getting a divorce, whether they were celebrities or people we knew, we almost always heard about the bitter struggles, the antagonistic court battles, and the vitriolic comments they made about each other. Thank goodness times have changed! While we still do hear about negative and hostile divorces, those are countered by many divorces now being done with peace and civility, also known as “divorce with dignity”. As a case in point, just a few months ago Courtney Cox and David Arquette finalized their divorce, ending their marriage of almost 14 years. In spite of what they called “irreconcilable differences” that caused them to separate in 2010, they continue to make positive, loving comments about each other. In January of this year, Courtney stated on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, “He’s my best friend in the world…I love him.” It seems David feels the same way about her. “She’s incredible,” he was quoted as saying at a gala in Los Angeles the following week. “I love her, too, and she’s an amazing person, a beautiful person.” How do they stay positive and amicable despite the divorce? David gives credit to their commitment to treat each other with respect. “We’re honest with each other. We’re respectful, and that’s what it comes down to.” As part of their cooperative divorce agreement, they are seeking joint custody of their 8-year-old daughter, Coco. Amicable and peaceful divorce can be achieved when the two parties agree to work together to come to an agreement that is fair to everyone in the family instead of fighting it out in the courtroom. It takes putting aside the squabbles and the negative emotions, and concentrating on what is in the best interest of each person, particularly any children. The result is less stress, less mess, and the preservation of one’s self-respect. Thank goodness for the option of divorce with dignity! This is the reason I established the first Divorce With Dignity ([www.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/)) office nearly twenty years ago. Having been through a difficult divorce myself, I wanted to give people going through divorce an alternative to hostile court litigation and the distressful effects it causes both during and after the divorce. I am pleased that I have been able to help thousands of people obtain an amicable divorce, saving them additional stress and thousands of dollars by avoiding litigation. In order to give more people the opportunity to achieve a peaceful divorce, I started the Divorce With Dignity Network, a national network of divorce support professionals including attorneys, paralegals, legal document assistants, and mediators. Our goals are to provide a safe place for you to talk about your situation, help you understand the divorce process, and assist you with the necessary legal documents. Since we take a holistic approach to divorce, we are also ready to refer you to additional support services to help you transition through this difficult process as smoothly as possible. I know that if a divorcing couple is willing to commit to working cooperatively to negotiate a divorce agreement that is fair and beneficial to everyone involved, they can mitigate many of the negative effects of divorce. It’s easier on them, easier on their children, and will save them a lot of time and money. Isn’t that worth the effort? If you and your spouse have decided that your marriage is no longer viable, and are willing to work cooperatively to get through the divorce process as simply and as quickly as possible, we invite you to talk with us about how we can help. To find a Divorce With Dignity affiliate near you, visit our website at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). Let us guide you through the divorce process – with peace and dignity. **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** cooperative divorce, Courtney Cox divorce, David Arquette divorce, divorce with dignity, non-litigated divorce, peaceful divorce --- ### [Top 5 Benefits Of Working With A Divorce With Dignity Specialist](https://dwdignity.com/top-5-benefits-of-working-with-a-divorce-with-dignity-specialist/) **Published:** September 9, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Once the decision to divorce is made, there are multiple options for how to get it done. Rushing out to hire a lawyer may not be the best choice for you, especially if you are interested in a peaceful divorce. **Content:** Once the decision to divorce is made, there are multiple options for how to get it done. Rushing out to hire a lawyer may not be the best choice for you, especially if you are interested in a peaceful divorce. If you and your spouse are in agreement on most issues, and both of you would like to avoid a bitter court battle, Divorce With Dignity offers you a better solution. Working with a Divorce With Dignity specialist has many advantages over simply hiring a divorce attorney, or trying to do it yourself using an online divorce service. To demonstrate how our service is different from the other divorce services options, I’d like to point out the Top 5 benefits of working with one of our Divorce With Dignity specialists. 1\. Personal Attention Our clients tell us that when they come into one of our offices, they instantly feel comfortable and safe. We make every effort to provide an environment that is conducive to peaceful negotiation rather than adversarial sparring. We’ll spend some time talking with you about your unique situation, and help you identify any outstanding issues. We will explain how the divorce process works, and what specific services we can offer based on your needs. Our dedication to making divorce as peaceful as possible is the foundation we use to help you negotiate a fair divorce agreement that addresses the needs of all parties involved, including children. 2\. Less Stress / Better Outcome A “divorce with dignity” means to go through a divorce without litigation, making it as peaceful as possible so everyone retains their dignity and self-respect. When you choose this option, you will avoid many of the stresses that go along with a court-litigated divorce. For example, instead of letting a judge make the decisions about the divorce agreement, you and your spouse have control over those decisions. Instead of having your private issues and circumstances made public in the courts, you retain your privacy. And you avoid the stress of a hostile and painful court case. In addition, decisions made through cooperation and fair negotiations have a better record of compliance than dictated decisions resulting from adversarial court battles. 3\. Resource Referrals Since we take a holistic view of divorce, we know there are many areas in your life where challenges will come up due to the divorce. While we can prepare the legal documents and file them with the courts, and can help with negotiations between you and your spouse, you might need some specific legal advice. We have quality referrals for attorneys who will contract with you for help on that particular issue. In addition to legal support, we can put you in touch with resources for emotional support (therapists, life coaches, support groups), financial support (certified public accountants, divorce financial analysts, credit counselors), mediators, life coaches, support for your children, or professionals to help you with moving logistics (real estate agents, packing and moving companies). For whatever you need to help you through the divorce process, our goal is to assist you to find the right resources and support. 4\. Get It Done Faster By working with us to formulate your divorce agreement and get the divorce paperwork prepared and filed, you bypass all the waiting for court dates and having to deal with scheduling with two lawyers. 5\. Cost-Effective Another much-appreciated benefit of working with a Divorce With Dignity specialist is that you can save literally thousands of dollars over hiring divorce attorneys for both you and your spouse. The average cost for a litigated divorce is about $20,000, but costs can easily double or triple depending on the lawyers and your situation. With us, the range is more like $1,000 to $2,000 plus court fees. If the benefits of the Divorce With Dignity option sound good to you, we invite you to contact a Divorce With Dignity specialist ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) near you. Let us assist you to get through the divorce process with peace and dignity. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Benefits Of Divorce, Divorce Advice, divorce planning, divorce specialist, should i get a divorce --- ### [Divorce After 50](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-after-50/) **Published:** February 3, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** I recently ran across some surprising news – while divorce is declining in general (from a spike in the 1980s), the divorce rate for people over the age of 50 has more than doubled in the past two decades. In 1990, about 10% of all divorces were by people over 50. In 2009, divorce statistics show that number had risen to about 25% of all divorces. **Content:** I recently ran across some surprising news – while divorce is declining in general (from a spike in the 1980s), the divorce rate for people over the age of 50 has more than doubled in the past two decades. In 1990, about 10% of all divorces were by people over 50. In 2009, divorce statistics show that number had risen to about 25% of all divorces. So what’s going on with the 50+ demographic? What’s behind this rise in their divorce rate? Surprisingly, it’s not usually about extramarital affairs. It seems to have more to do with changes brought on by the stage of life and changes in society. The Empty Nest A lot of marriages are held together because of the kids. Once the children leave home, some couples come to the stark realization that they no longer have much else in common. Their values and interests have changed and gone different ways, and they may find they have been living increasingly different lives. They look at each other and say to themselves, “I still may have many more years to live – do I really want to spend them with this person?” Retirement Realities Most people look forward to when they can retire and enjoy “the good life”, but many couples are unprepared for the realities of spending more time around each other. They might have very different expectations about what life after retirement will be like. For example, the husband might assume his wife will become more involved in activities he enjoys, or the wife might expect her husband to pitch in more around the house. If those expectations are not in alignment, it can result in feelings of disappointment and resentment, which can in turn lead to estrangement. Longevity People are living longer these days. Whereas an older couple in an unhappy marriage a half century ago may have decided to stay together because they didn’t see themselves living much longer anyway, people ages 50 to 65 nowadays can usually expect many more active years ahead of them. And they want those years to be happy and fulfilling, not stuck in an unhappy marriage. Differences in Societal Attitudes Toward Marriage and Divorce Sociologists tell us that baby boomers entered into marriage with expectations that were very different from those of previous generations. At one time marriage was seen principally as an economic union, and later as an “institution” of society with strict predefined husband/wife roles. But in the 1970s, people started looking at marriage as a means of personal fulfillment and happiness. So when those needs are no longer being met, boomers are deciding to divorce instead of staying in a marriage that no longer works well for them. People who divorce after the age of 50 may not have some of the worries younger divorcing couples do such as child custody and support for minor children. But they often have to deal with other worries that accompany their stage in life. Fears about who will care for them if they get seriously ill, or anxiety about being lonely after sharing a life and a home with someone else for so many years are common feelings. There are a variety of ways to cope with these and other distressing feelings brought on by divorce, and to find ways to move on and reinvent your life. For example, you could join a divorce support group, see a therapist, or work with a divorce coach. The members of the [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) network have referrals for these groups and support professionals that we provide to our clients as part of our divorce facilitation and planning service. Our approach is to help you through your divorce comprehensively, not just by preparing and filing the legal paperwork, but by putting you in touch with the resources you need to move forward in your new life. Would you like to learn more? Contact a [Divorce With Dignity specialist](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) near you today. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** baby boomer divorce, divorce after 50, divorce after fifty, divorce rate, divorce statistics, empty nest --- ### [Getting Through The Difficulties Of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/getting-through-the-difficulties-of-divorce/) **Published:** February 10, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Our [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) specialist in the San Francisco/Peninsula area, [Cynthia Hall](http://sanfrancisco.dwdignity.com/), is a California registered and bonded Legal Document Assistant with a Paralegal Certificate and a B.A. in Sociology. As someone who has worked with divorcing couples for many years, we asked her to share some thoughts with us on how she helps her clients get through the difficulties of divorce. How do you help your clients through the difficulties of divorce? Sometimes I talk about my own personal experience. When I decided to divorce, I tried to get my husband to agree to mediation to resolve our issues, but instead he went out and got an attorney, which meant I also had to get an attorney, and thus began what I call our “journey through disaster”. I don’t blame him for taking this path, but it would have been so much better if we could have avoided litigation. I tell my clients that litigation can bring out the worst in just about anyone, and that working cooperatively toward an amicable resolution is a much better way to go. Reducing conflict will in turn reduce some of the difficulties of going through a divorce. I also advise them to just step back and take some time away from each other to let emotions settle. Emotionally charged conversations are not conducive to amicable divorce. What types of professionals have you referred your clients to for extra help in getting through the difficulties of divorce? I find that the two main areas are referrals to an attorney or to a mediator. I actually prefer sending clients to mediators because unlike attorneys, they are working for both parties so the process is more amicable. But if your situation warrants talking with an attorney, I consult with you about how to deal with divorce lawyers to get the most bang for your buck. I don’t give legal advice, but can give you a packet of information that includes how to interview an attorney, how to ask the right questions, and how to understand retainer agreements. How do you vet the people you refer clients to? I only refer clients to people I know. The attorney I refer people to the most is someone I used to work for. I know him, I trust him, he has a lot of experience, but doesn’t charge “an arm and a leg”. As for the mediator I refer to most, I have met with him in person and feel comfortable referring clients to him. He is a professional mediator, not an attorney, so he is less expensive. A big component for me is to save my clients money while still making sure they get experienced professional assistance. What is your best advice for getting through the difficulties of divorce and transitioning into a new (and better) life? Try to make it as easy on yourself as you possibly can by hiring the right people – those who have the right experience and knowledge, but are not into overcharging. Avoid online divorce services that seem inexpensive, but end up costing you more because you’ll find that they just dump a whole lot of forms on you with complicated letters of instructions. Most people won’t know what to do with them and will end up coming to someone like me to help them through it. So now they have lost the money they spent on that online service, not to mention the time wasted. [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) is an in-person divorce planning and facilitation service. We do more than just help you with your forms; we guide you through the entire process. As for transitioning into your new life, just realize that it takes time. When you feel ready, go out and start dating again – that can go a long way in forgetting a heartbreak. I assure you it will get better – it did for me! To find a Divorce With Dignity specialist near you, visit our [website](https://dwdignity.com/) today! **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** affordable divorce in san francisco, california divorce, communication in marriage, dealing with divorce attorneys, difficulties of divorce, divorce in san francisco, how to deal with divorce and separation, san francisco divorce, saving money in divorce --- ### [How to Survive the Holidays Knowing We’re Getting a Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-survive-the-holidays-knowing-were-getting-a-divorce/) **Published:** December 12, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. **Content:** I know you’re feeling just terrible heading into the holidays knowing that you’re going to be getting a divorce sooner or later. What do you do knowing this? Is it better to just start the process now, or wait until after the holidays? These are tough questions that require some soul searching on your part, as only you can answer based on your own situation. Of course if you have children this is an extremely tough decision and you have to assess what it will do to your children? Will it give them peace of mind, or will it bring them much sorrow and sadness; could be both. I would say that if you are currently functioning as a family and there’s no domestic violence going on, then you might want to wait and start the process after the holidays once you have a chance to talk to your children and explain the situation. Of course, if there’s domestic violence or other forms of anger and harassment, then everyone will be better off once the process is started. John and Betty Smith knew they were going to get a divorce because they were headed in totally opposite directions in their lives and had really grown apart. They made this difficult decision in November after being in counseling for many months. However, their two children, Brad and Jennie, were not openly aware of their parent’s unhappiness, and now the holidays were almost here. So John and Betty decided to just hold off and wait until January to start the process. They each made a commitment to do their best to maintain their dignity and respect for each other and the children, and work together to make this a nice holiday for Brad and Jennie. They also decided to really downplay the presents and focus on exposing their children to the arts and festive spirit of the holidays through their schools and church. Brad and Jennie would, of course, get Christmas gifts, but they did not want to overdo the gift giving to compensate for what the future would reveal. It was very difficult joining with the other family members to celebrate the holidays as John and Betty decided to keep their divorce private and not mention it to their other family members until later. So they did their best to participate in the family gatherings and provide Brad and Jennie a nice family holiday. As hard as this was, it laid the groundwork for John and Betty to work together in January and start the process toward an amicable divorce. It helped give them communication tools to work with each other in a peaceful way. Now what should you do? Can you follow the path of the Smith’s or are you so unhappy that the only relief you can see would be to start the process NOW? If you need to start now, you won’t be alone—other people do begin their divorces during December, and you may find that this was just the relief you needed. Of course, it will be a different, probably not one of your best , holidays, but you will then be able to start the new year and your NEW BEGNNING. So do what brings you peace of mind; isn’t that what the holidays are all about? **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** dealing with divorce, divorce during the holidays, divorce effects on children, holiday stress --- ### [Is Putting A Child’s Name On A Deed To Avoid Probate A Good Idea?](https://dwdignity.com/is-putting-a-childs-name-on-a-deed-to-avoid-probate-a-good-idea/) **Published:** November 4, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Part of going through a divorce is trying to figure out how to separate assets and property. When it comes to the family home, if the divorce agreement involves one of the parties taking ownership of the house, the deed must be changed. Some divorcing parents and estate planning do-it-yourselfers view this as an opportunity to take shortcuts and put their child’s name on the deed, i.e., creating a “joint tenancy”. **Content:** Part of going through a divorce is trying to figure out how to separate assets and property. When it comes to the family home, if the divorce agreement involves one of the parties taking ownership of the house, the deed must be changed. Some divorcing parents and estate planning do-it-yourselfers view this as an opportunity to take shortcuts and put their child’s name on the deed, i.e., creating a “joint tenancy”. That way, they reason, they wouldn’t have to draft a will and their child would get the home upon the parent’s death without having to go through probate. But, according to Rochelle A’Hearn, an attorney and our [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) to find a Divorce With Dignity specialist near you. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** child’s name on a deed to avoid probate, deed transfers in divorce, dividing assets in divorce, divorce agreement, divorce financial planning, divorce planning, Divorce support, Rochelle A’Hearn --- ### [How to prepare for divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/whats-a-divorce-support-group/) **Published:** October 28, 2013 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** When going through a divorce, it’s natural to feel alone and emotionally overwhelmed. You might feel the need to talk about what you are experiencing, but find that your friends and family members who have not gone through divorce just don’t understand your feelings. They may want to help you through it, but just don’t know how. **Content:** When going through a divorce, it’s natural to feel alone and emotionally overwhelmed. You might feel the need to talk about what you are experiencing, but find that your friends and family members who have not gone through divorce just don’t understand your feelings. They may want to help you through it, but just don’t know how. As someone who has been through a divorce, and in my work with clients in my Divorce With Dignity office, I have learned that a divorce support group can be a valuable part of one’s recovery. So what is a divorce support group, and what is it like to be in one? A divorce support group is made up of individuals who are going through a divorce, or are working to rebuild their lives after divorce. It is a safe place for them to talk about their divorce experience among people who can understand and won’t make them feel judged. They come together to express their feelings, give each other support, and share information and resources. There are numerous benefits to joining a divorce support group. I find they generally fall into two main categories: 1. Being able to express and explore your feelings, and having those feelings understood and validated Talking about your divorce helps you to overcome the shock of this life-altering situation and enables you to integrate the changes going on in your life. Talking about it with people who are going through a similar process, people who can empathize and validate that the feelings you are having are normal, helps you realize that you are not alone in how you feel. 2. Learning from the experience of others going through similar circumstances One of the best things about a divorce support group is the information, ideas, and perspectives you get from hearing about the experiences of others in the group. Some of the things you can learn from your group are – - how others are handling their divorce process (dealing with lawyers, using limited scope representation, working with a divorce planning and facilitation service like Divorce With Dignity, etc.) - how to manage issues involving children affected by divorce, such as how to talk with them about it and how to answer their questions, helping them to express their feelings, and dealing with issues regarding custody and visitation - recommendations for financial planners, legal counsel, daycare, helpful websites, and more - creative solutions to problems - motivation and inspiration to work through challenges and move forward in life If you think a divorce support group could be of help to you, then the next step is to find one. Here’s where you can look – - local community centers - YWCA or YMCA - religious institutions - social worker - ask friends who have gone through divorce - ask for recommendations from your attorney or therapist - check the internet for both online and in-person groups - if you are working with a Divorce With Dignity specialist, we can recommend divorce support groups in your area Taking the step (or leap!) to join a group can be daunting. It’s normal to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. Keep in mind that there are others in the room feeling the same way, or who remember what their first meetings felt like. Just be ready to listen, open up when you feel comfortable doing so, and learn from others. Eventually you will be able to share your own knowledge that can help others through the transition and onto the path to recovery – and being able to do that can also be therapeutic for you! Divorce With Dignity offers divorce services that include peaceful divorce planning, negotiating fair divorce agreements, preparation and filing of legal paperwork, and referrals to other professional services tailored to your unique situation. You can find a Divorce With Dignity affiliate near you by visiting our website at [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Divorce Process --- ### [Courteney Cox & David Arquette: Modeling Amiable Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/courteney-cox-david-arquette-modeling-amiable-divorce/) **Published:** April 14, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Courteney Cox and David Arquette are showing Hollywood (and the rest of us) how it’s done. In a society where divorce is often bitter and antagonistic, they are modeling how to achieve an amiable divorce that is so much better for the entire family. **Content:** # Courteney Cox & David Arquette: Modeling Amiable Divorce Apr 14, 2014 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, Courtency Cox And David, Divorce And Children --- ### [Divorce Through The Eyes Of Children](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-through-the-eyes-of-children/) **Published:** March 17, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** When children are involved, a divorce is not just between the two spouses; it becomes a “family divorce”. They have to cope with a lot of new feelings and concerns, and with big changes in their day-to-day lives. **Content:** When children are involved, a divorce is not just between the two spouses; it becomes a “family divorce”. They have to cope with a lot of new feelings and concerns, and with big changes in their day-to-day lives. Seeing divorce through the eyes of children is a real necessity for divorcing parents to know how to best support their children during this difficult transition. Most of the time, parents get information from divorce professionals, mediators, and therapists on what the divorce process is like for the children. Sometimes there are films available for the parents to view that feature these experts, interspersed with a few comments from children. Recently, however, a new film (“[Split](http://www.splitfilm.org/ "Split Film")”, by [Ellen Bruno](http://www.splitfilm.org/creative_team.html "Split Film Ellen Bruno")) has been released that has no adults on camera – just real children talking about the effects of their parents’ divorce on them. For about half an hour, the audience hears them discuss their thoughts and feelings on the various phases of the journey – Families, Change, What Happened, Wishing, Moving On, Back and Forth, Two Homes, What Helps, Talking About It, and Life Goes On. The [website for the film](http://www.splitfilm.org/ "Split Film") calls it “A Film for Kids of Divorce (and their Parents)”. One [reviewer](http://www.splitfilm.org/press_reviews.html "Split Film") on the website felt that seeing divorce through the eyes of children has “great power to influence parents and divorce professionals alike to do divorce better”. Kids going through their parents’ divorce may also benefit from watching it. Bruno says that her film is children talking from the heart about what it feels like to go through this experience, and that kids will listen to each other more attentively than to adults. Since almost half the children in the United States will experience their parents’ separation before the age of 16, there is a large audience for this type of film. The children in the film (aged 6-12) also made color drawings illustrating aspects of their experience, which are turned into animated graphics intermixed with the children’s comments. Director of Animation, [Gwen Gordon](http://www.splitfilm.org/creative_team.html "Split Film Gwen Gordon"), says she hopes that children watching the film will know they are not alone in this situation, and that they will feel connected with others who have experienced the same things. They will hear kids like themselves expressing their pain and feelings of sadness and anger, and also sharing what has helped them through the experience. There are common themes among the children’s comments, none that are surprising – they hate hearing their parents fight, they still hope their parents will get back together, and they often believe that somehow they are to blame for the divorce. But some of their insights are quite poignant. One girl describes divorce as “like something that you really love breaks, and you can’t put it back together again”. A boy talks about his idea of a perfect family as “the mom and dad love each other and they eat pancakes every day”, but goes on to say, “But that will never happen in the world. No one’s perfect. Nothing is perfect.” Yet, the film has a hopeful tone, with the positive message that the kids will get through this and things do get better. When our [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/ "Emotional effects of divorce") divorce support professionals work with divorcing parents, we take a holistic approach to the process. In addition to providing guidance through the divorce maze and taking care of getting the legal papers filed in court, we offer referrals to other support services their family may need, including support for the children. If you are a parent going through divorce, let us help you and your family get through it in the most peaceful and supportive way possible. Visit our website to [find a Divorce With Dignity specialist ](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "Children and divorce")in your area. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** children and divorce, Divorce Process, Ellen Bruno, emotional effects of divorce, gwen gordon, kids and divorce, split film --- ### [Making The Divorce Decision](https://dwdignity.com/making-the-divorce-decision/) **Published:** April 21, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce is a scary and overwhelming thing. Sometimes people know they are unhappy in their marriage, but have trouble deciding what to do about it. Should they stick with the “known”, or jump into the unknown territory of divorce? How does one go about making the divorce decision? **Content:** Divorce is a scary and overwhelming thing. Sometimes people know they are unhappy in their marriage, but have trouble deciding what to do about it. Should they stick with the “known”, or jump into the unknown territory of divorce? How does one go about making the divorce decision? One of our [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) referral associates is [Susan Regan](https://www.relationshipsolutionsprograms.com/deciding-to-divorce "Susan Regan"), a Relationship Expert & Certified Coach at Relationship Solutions Programs and Marriage and Family Therapist with Solutions Therapy & Mediation. We asked her to share with us some of her thoughts on this topic. Susan, in what ways do people considering divorce often get stuck? I think people become afraid about the divorce process on several levels. They don’t understand the legal system of divorce, they are overwhelmed by the financial issues involved, and sometimes they can’t imagine that they can actually have a better life. People can freeze up and be too afraid to take the next step – it’s the “deer in the headlights” syndrome. How do you help them to get “unstuck”? First, we talk about the five stages of grief which are denial, depression/sadness, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. I explain that for those going through a separation or divorce, there are two additional stages – solving the problems that were in that marriage that were yours, and recreating your life. We then determine which stage they are currently in and work on that stage to move past it. I also try to bring resources to them that can help them get through the logistics of divorce. I might suggest they talk with a financial counselor to set up a post-divorce budget, or a mortgage broker to discuss options about their home. I help them analyze who their support system is, and perhaps options for recreating their social group such as Meetup.com or Match.com. In deciding what to do about their living situation, I share some ideas they may not have thought of, such as co-housing, living temporarily with relatives, or even hiring an architect to redesign the house so the family can still share the home comfortably until the time and/or finances are right for moving out. If children are involved, we talk about custody and parenting plans. Once they start getting a handle on the logistics of separating, then we can work on the emotional parts they need to rebuild (such as self-esteem and confidence), and figuring out what issues need to be processed and integrated so they can move forward. How do you collaborate with Divorce With Dignity to help people through divorce? I have my clients call [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) as a homework assignment to get information and advice about divorce logistics and what’s required. The Divorce With Dignity folks do a great job of demystifying the divorce process. My clients may then choose to use me as a mediator to work out the emotional issues and make decisions, and then meet with the Divorce With Dignity professional to develop the divorce agreement and have the legal papers drawn up and filed with the court. Then they can come back to me to continue working on the emotional matters. It might be a “back and forth’ situation for awhile until it gets done, but even then it is still much less expensive than hiring lawyers to litigate the divorce. Divorce With Dignity takes a holistic and supportive approach to divorce, providing our clients with referrals to professionals such as Susan, as needed. We strive to help our clients achieve divorce in the most peaceful way possible, and with the least amount of stress possible. And we do it for thousands of dollars less than a litigated divorce. Please visit [dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/ "Divorce With Dignity") to learn more about our approach and how we can help you navigate the divorce maze. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce Advice, divorce decision, Divorce Process, i want a divorce, susan regan, when to divorce --- ### [Murdoch Divorce – Amicable Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/murdoch-divorce-amicable-divorce-with-dignity/) **Published:** March 3, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Last month one of the big news items about the rich and famous was the divorce of business magnate Rupert Murdoch and his third wife, Wendi Deng Murdoch. After 14 years of marriage, they decided to call it quits, stating that their relationship had “broken down irretrievably” (NYDailyNews.com, November 19, 2013). **Content:** Last month one of the big news items about the rich and famous was the divorce of business magnate Rupert Murdoch and his third wife, Wendi Deng Murdoch. After 14 years of marriage, they decided to call it quits, stating that their relationship had “broken down irretrievably” (NYDailyNews.com, November 19, 2013). When a divorcing couple has billions in assets to divide up, it often results in a long, drawn-out acrimonious battle. But in this case, they were able to peacefully reach a divorce settlement with dignity, and spent less than 15 minutes in court to have it ratified. On behalf of the divorcing couple, a publicist released the following statement: “We are pleased to announce that we have reached an amicable settlement of all matters relating to our divorce. We move forward with mutual respect and a shared interest in the health and happiness of our two daughters.” There were some prenuptial agreements that helped make matters easier, and although there were some issues to work out (regarding who got which homes, and custody arrangements for the children), they were able to amicably come to terms. As they parted ways after the court hearing, Wendi Murdoch was seen to kiss Rupert Murdoch’s cheek and briefly hold his hand. Murdoch, a man of great influence and standing in the media industry, and his now ex-wife recognized the value of an uncontested divorce. With a net worth of $13.4 billion (according to Forbes), Murdoch obviously had plenty of money to pay for a long and expensive court battle with a whole fleet of divorce attorneys, had he chosen to. Instead, he opted to peacefully work out the settlement issues. Both parties clearly saw the benefits of an amicable, non-litigated divorce. So what are some of these benefits, other than it being much less expensive than a litigated divorce? Here are just a few – - control over decisions (you and your spouse decide how to resolve issues instead of a judge) - more flexibility in arrangements - more privacy - less stressful and less emotionally draining - easier on the children In addition, litigation can intensify feelings of hostility, bitterness, self-doubt, and resentment. On the other hand, working with your spouse to work out an agreement that is fair and beneficial to all can produce positive feelings of integrity, competency, and dignity. For people seeking to reduce the negative effects of divorce, a non-litigated amicable divorce is certainly the way to go. Divorce With Dignity is a national network of divorce support professionals whose aim is to help divorcing couples get through their divorce as peacefully, easily, and quickly as possible. We provide divorce support in a variety of ways – explaining how the divorce process works, assisting with divorce planning, filling out and filing the divorce papers, providing trusted referrals for other support services you may need, and more. To speak with a Divorce With Dignity specialist near you, please visit our [Divorce With Dignity website](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "Divorce With Dignity"). If you have to divorce, why not make it amicable and dignified? We would be honored to be your guide on that worthwhile path. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, Divorce Settlement, divorce with dignity, non-litigated divorce, Rupert Murdoch divorce, Uncontested Divorce --- ### [Reducing The Stress And Anxiety Of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/reducing-the-stress-and-anxiety-of-divorce/) **Published:** February 24, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** If you ask Mark Askey, attorney and owner of a Divorce With Dignity business serving the Los Angeles area, what his work is all about, he’ll tell you that his job is to take some of the stress and anxiety about the divorce process off the shoulders of his clients so they can focus on moving forward with their lives. **Content:** If you ask [Mark Askey](http://losangeles.dwdignity.com/ "Los Angeles Divorce Peaceful Divorce"), attorney and owner of a [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) business serving the Los Angeles area, what his work is all about, he’ll tell you that his job is to take some of the stress and anxiety about the divorce process off the shoulders of his clients so they can focus on moving forward with their lives. We asked if he would share with our readers a little about what led him to this work, and how he goes about reducing the stress and anxiety of divorce for his clientele. Mark, what drew you to join the Divorce With Dignity Network? I had been working as an attorney for 15 year in other states and also did legal work for the federal government. When I moved to California I wanted to focus on work that involved things I’m passionate about, things I really enjoy doing. I stumbled across an ad for Divorce With Dignity and liked the concept because it represents all those things I enjoy, such as helping people through difficult times by working with them through the divorce process and taking care of the details. You can think of me as someone akin to a wedding planner, whose job it is to plan and facilitate a wedding, and make sure things go smoothly. I am a full-service divorce facilitator, helping divorcing couples work out all the details of their divorce agreement, providing guidance through the process, getting them the resources they need, and taking care of the legal paperwork for them. How do you accomplish your goal of reducing the stress and anxiety of divorce for your clients? Of course, part of their stress comes from all the emotions attached to divorce, but a lot of it is anxiety about the unknown. Most people are not aware of what’s involved in the legal process, and what their options are. I take care of the “unknowns” for them. I want to focus as much on the details of the life changes going on as on the legal paperwork. For example, taking a household and dividing it into two households is not an easy thing to do. Finding a new home, moving, changing the kids’ schools, helping the kids deal with their emotions – these are all difficult things, but I can facilitate that process and also connect them with other experts who can help them with their specific circumstances. Whatever their situational problems are, I can help them resolve them. What additional professional services to you often refer your clients to for assistance? I’ve connected some of my clients with experts in real estate, insurance, and therapy, to name a few. On some occasions I would refer clients to professional mediators. I personally have a lot of experience in mediation and negotiation, and although I can use those skills to help my clients work out some of their issues, if they need serious mediation I refer them to someone else. The reason for this is that I want to take a more holistic view as I work with my clients, and putting myself in the position of a professional mediator would change that relationship. If all they need is a mediator, then I can do that, but otherwise it would change the focus away from my being their full-service divorce planner and facilitator. If you are considering divorce and would like to have someone help you through the process with the least amount of stress and anxiety possible, contact your [local Divorce With Dignity specialist](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "California Divorce Amicable Divorce") as soon as possible. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** california divorce, divorce facilitation, divorce planning, divorce quotes, how to cope with divorce, los angeles divorce, seperation --- ### [Amicable Divorce Trend Among Celebrities](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-trend-among-celebrities/) **Published:** June 30, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Celebrities are often trend-setters, and one of these trends that we wholeheartedly support is amicable divorce (also known as peaceful divorce), without litigation. **Content:** # Amicable Divorce Trend Among Celebrities Jun 30, 2014 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/) **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, celebrity divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce support, Jennifer Lopez Divorce, Orlando bloom divorce, peaceful divorce, top cruise divorce --- ### [Can Both Parties Use The Same Lawyer In A Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/can-both-parties-use-the-same-lawyer-in-a-divorce/) **Published:** September 8, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Not all divorcing couples are “at each other’s throats”. In fact, many are able to work peaceably together to work out an agreement without litigating in court. They want to save money by using just one attorney to answer their legal questions, draw up the legal documents, **Content:** # Can Both Parties Use The Same Lawyer In A Divorce? Sep 8, 2014 | [Dealing with Divorce Lawyers](https://dwdignity.com/category/dealing-with-divorce-lawyers/), [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/) **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Meditation, Divorce papers, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, peaceful divorce, Use The Same Lawyer In a Divorce --- ### [Conscious Uncoupling – Paltrow & Martin’s Amicable Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/conscious-uncoupling-paltrow-martins-amicable-divorce/) **Published:** June 6, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Several months back, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced their split up on her blog, calling it “conscious uncoupling”. The couple, who have been married more than 10 years and have two children together **Content:** # Conscious Uncoupling – Paltrow & Martin’s Amicable Divorce Jun 6, 2014 | [Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/category/amicable-divorce-and-conflict-resolutio/), [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, Chris Martin Divorce, Conscious Uncoupling, Divorce Advice, Divorce support, Gwyneth Paltrow Divorce, Katherine Woodward Divorce --- ### [Do You Believe In Amicable Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/do-you-believe-in-amicable-divorce/) **Published:** April 28, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** People don’t often associate the word “amicable” with divorce, but we are hearing about amicable divorces in the news quite a lot these days. Some examples of celebrities who have managed to divorce without rancor and drama are Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz, Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Phillippe, and Courteney Cox & David Arquette. **Content:** People don’t often associate the word “amicable” with divorce, but we are hearing about amicable divorces in the news quite a lot these days. Some examples of celebrities who have managed to divorce without rancor and drama are Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz, Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Phillippe, and Courteney Cox & David Arquette. Fran Drescher & Peter Marc Jacobson not only have remained friends since their mid-1990s divorce, but even created a sitcom together based on their experiences called “Happily Divorced”. Non-celebrites, too, are finding ways to make their divorces as peaceful as possible, and moving into their next phase of life as friends. It may take a little work (or in some cases, a lot of work) to attain, but it is possible. If you are on the brink of divorce, you might not be feeling all that friendly towards your spouse. But if you can set asides your emotions and approach it as negotiating a treaty using tact and courtesy, you are on the right path. What does it take to achieve an amicable divorce? - A willingness by both partners to cooperatively work out a divorce agreement that feels fair to everyone involved - An attitude of polite negotiation - A concern for the welfare of each other and, if there are children, a priority concern for what’s in their best interest - A desire to avoid a litigated divorce where the nature of the process breeds animosity, distress, and conflict Working toward an amicable divorce does not mean that you have to give in on issues that are important to you just to keep the peace. If you are unable to come to an agreement on certain issues, you may choose to have a mediator assist you in your negotiations and present options you may not have thought of. There are situations that are not conducive to working things out cooperatively, for example when there has been domestic abuse. This creates a power imbalance that is difficult to overcome. But for many couples, an amicable divorce is a real possibility and a goal worth striving for. What makes it worth the effort? Here are just some of the advantages to a peaceful, non-litigated divorce – - You have more control over the decisions that will affect your future - You have more flexibility in the terms of your divorce agreements - You have more privacy, since there are no publicly filed declarations - You avoid the stress of a long, drawn-out court battle - You can achieve the divorce faster and the cost savings are significant - When people work together to create a fair settlement, they are more likely to comply with the terms The mission of [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/ "Effects of Divorce") is to help people cooperatively work out the details of their divorce agreement, take care of the necessary paperwork for the courts, and support our clients through the divorce process. We can present options and provide referrals to other support professionals to help you resolve the issues of your particular situation. We wholeheartedly believe in amicable divorce, and are ready to show you how it can be achieved. To talk with a Divorce With Dignity professional in your area, please visit [dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/ "Effects of Divorce"). **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** celebrity divorce, Conflict Resolution, divorce agreement, divorce help, effects of divorce, peaceful divorce --- ### [How To Make The Most Out Of Mediation In Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-make-the-most-out-of-mediation-in-divorce/) **Published:** December 1, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. **Content:** In a recent conversation with [Joann Babiak](https://www.linkedin.com/in/attorneyjoannbabiak), a San Francisco Bay Area attorney who handles many family law matters including divorce and mediation of family-related conflicts, we discussed the topic of mediation. With a background in psychology and extensive training in mediation and dispute resolution, Joann is well-qualified to answer the following questions about divorce mediation and how to make the most out of the process. ## What is mediation and how does it work in divorce proceedings? Divorce mediation is a process in which a neutral person, who is trained and experienced in conflict resolution, facilitates change and agreements between divorcing couples through meaningful discussions. When people experiencing challenges try to talk things out just between themselves, they may be well-intentioned but oftentimes unskilled at dispute resolution strategies. A professional mediator has the skill sets and sophistication developed through working over many years with people dealing with divorce. ## Who are good candidates for mediation? You know, some people react to disagreements by rolling up in a little ball; others come out fighting like a hellcat. To them I would say, “Would you rather duke it out in court, or discuss your disagreements in mediation?” Sometimes a client who just wants someone to tell them what to do might head to an aggressive litigator. But they might fare much better by turning down the hostilities and mediating with the soon-to-be “ex”. Communicating actually helps with healing, and sometimes huge transitions occur. I frequently suggest parties in conflict try mediating with a skilled mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, mediation can be a private and confidential out-of-court process which allows participants control over decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. Most of the time, couples will do better creating their own agreements rather than letting a judge who doesn’t know them or their needs decide the shape of their future. Good candidates for mediation are those who are ready, willing and able to fully engage in the mediation process, invest time and energy in an out-of-court experience, and craft a mutually satisfactory resolution. ## How does one select a good mediator? Mediators are not necessarily attorneys, and not all attorneys are mediators. But anyone conducting divorce mediation sessions should be very knowledgeable about divorce and family law. Except for court-connected mediators, there is currently no certification required by law in California for an attorney to act as a mediator. However, there are many excellent training programs. When considering a mediator, be sure to ask about his/her specific qualifications and experience. Also, ask a prospective mediator how he/she conducts mediation sessions. Ask a lot of questions. Get a feel for how well you relate to each other. Make sure you feel comfortable, and if you detect any bias (such as gender, role, race, or financial bias), keep shopping around. ## How does one make the most out of the mediation process? Listen to and work with the mediator. Identify problems that present challenges to settlement, solutions you really want and various alternatives you can live with. Be prepared to really listen (not just hear), and seek to understand the feelings and needs of your spouse. Remember, you have a common purpose – to get through the disputes and arrive at a decree of divorce in a way that allows each of you to smoothly start a fresh new chapter. The [divorce facilitators](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "divorce facilitators") who are part of the Divorce With Dignity Network are available to assist people seeking a peaceful divorce. Sometimes this includes referrals to mediators or other professionals our clients may need to help them through the divorce in the most supportive way. Visit [our website](https://dwdignity.com/) to learn more about how we can help you get through this difficult time in the best way possible. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** Conflict Resolution, divorce attorneys, Divorce Lawyers, divorce mediation, family law, mediator, peaceful divorce --- ### [How To Tell If Your Kids Are Handling Divorce In A Healthy Way](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-tell-if-your-kids-are-handling-divorce-in-a-healthy-way/) **Published:** August 25, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. **Content:** I recently came across an article on the [Huffington Post](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ "huffington post divorce") entitled “[10 Signs Your Kid Is Handling Divorce in a Positive Way](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosalind-sedacca/10-signs-your-kid-is-hand_b_5504896.html "huffington post divorce")”, written by Rosalind Sedacca. I thought she made some great points on this important and helpful topic. I’ve summarized a few of these below, but I encourage you to read the [orignal post](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosalind-sedacca/10-signs-your-kid-is-hand_b_5504896.html "huffington post divorce") for more information. ## Some ways to tell if your kids are handling divorce in a healthy way: ### They still smile and are positive about spending time with you. When children are feeling strong negative emotions they have difficulty hiding those feelings. They may be angry all the time, or may withdraw from you and want to be left alone. Happy kids crave attention from their parents; if they avoid contact with you or don’t respond to your expressions of love, it’s a clear signal that they need help in dealing with the divorce. ### They are comfortable talking about experiences with both parents, and feel free to ask questions about the divorce and the changes it brings. The article states, “Well-adjusted kids are not intimidated or afraid to share stories about time spent with either parent. That’s because their parents keep communication open, don’t compete for their attention and never fill them with guilt or shame about loving their other parent.” It’s important to never bad-mouth the other parent directly to your children or within their hearing. Encourage your children to feel free to talk about their interactions with the other parent, and to ask questions about how the divorce will affect them. Knowing what changes to expect in the future will help reduce their anxiety. ### They maintain their performance at school. Talk with the adults your children interact with at school, such as teachers, aides, and counselors, to find out how they are doing in school. Have their grades dropped, or are they exhibiting aggressive or withdrawn behavior? If so, they may need help in coping with the divorce. Also talk with your children about their experiences at school, and how they are feeling about the changes in their lives. ### They talk about the future. Are your children looking ahead with excitement to events such as birthday parties, holidays, vacations, school field trips, etc.? If so, they are showing that they have a positive mindset about life. If they have lost their enthusiasm for events that they would have been excited about before the divorce, there’s a good chance they are suffering from depression; this needs to be addressed right away. There are many resources for helping your children adjust to the changes the divorce has brought to their lives, and to learn how to handle them in a healthy way. In addition to our divorce planning and legal document services, [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) facilitators can provide clients with referrals for these resources, such as child therapists and support groups for kids and their parents. We approach divorce facilitation in a holistic way, helping you find the services you need to get you and your family through the divorce as smoothly and healthfully as possible. To find a Divorce With Dignity facilitator near you, please visit [dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** children and divorce, Divorce And Children, Divorce Counseling, emotional effects of divorce, huffington post divorce, Rosalind Sedacca --- ### [Is Peaceful Divorce Possible?](https://dwdignity.com/is-peaceful-divorce-possible/) **Published:** July 28, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** In “traditional” divorce proceedings, the divorce lawyers for each side are trying to get the best possible deal for their client, setting up by default an adversarial situation. Contentions over custody, child support, finances, **Content:** In “traditional” divorce proceedings, the divorce lawyers for each side are trying to get the best possible deal for their client, setting up by default an adversarial situation. Contentions over custody, child support, finances, and property are usually aggravated by court proceedings and mean-spirited cross-examinations, setting up hostile conditions for years to come. I would venture a guess that for many people this belligerent atmosphere is ***not*** what they want. They would rather go through the divorce process in a more dignified and peaceful way. But some of you might be wondering if this is even possible – after all, divorce is stressful and brings out a host of unpleasant (or even gut-wrenching) emotions. How can these be overcome to allow for cooperative agreements? It requires both parties to be willing to compromise, be respectful of each other’s needs, and move beyond past arguments. It’s all about the present and the future. Especially when children are involved, putting aside egos and any desire to “punish” the spouse is necessary to keeping things under control. Leaving behind the bitterness will help you to move forward with your life sooner and make recovery easier, and the children will also benefit. So how can this be accomplished when the court system makes it nearly impossible? One solution is to work things out using a mediator, or if you are already in agreement on most issues, the assistance of an independent paralegal may be all you need. Divorce support from your local Divorce With Dignity office ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)) can help you find the best option for you. The benefits of this non-adversarial approach are many – - Less stress - Less expensive - Quicker - Uses conflict resolution methods to help you agree and part amicably - More control over decisions and arrangements - Direct communication and participation - Collaborative relationship - More informal - More confidential – no need to discuss private issues in a public setting like a courtroom - Easier to maintain an amicable relationship with your spouse - Less distressing for the children If you decide to take this approach, then take the steps to make your way through the divorce with collaboration instead of antagonism. Some ideas for fostering a good relationship with your divorcing spouse are: - **Move beyond the blame**. Resolving conflict is not about who is right or wrong, but about learning to deal with each other from this point on. - **Try to agree with your spouse as much as possible**, even though this may be difficult for you. Be fair and let them know when they make a good point. Doing this will make for a more respectful atmosphere and they may be more willing to listen to you and compromise on other things. Fighting with the other person makes you a threat and they will automatically put up walls to protect themselves – and when this happens, compromise flies out the window. - **Resist the urge to say negative things about your spouse to your children**. Your focus needs to be on helping them to maintain a good relationship with their father or mother. - **Take care of yourself**. Seek help if you are overwhelmed by your emotions. Write your feelings in a journal to help reduce stress. Find support from your friends. Get plenty of rest. The better you feel, the easier it will be to be calm and reasonable with your spouse. - **Get all the details in writing** and make sure both of you sign and date the document. This can prevent future arguments. ### Try to remember the friendship that was once a part of your marriage and make that the basis for working things out cooperatively. Is a peaceful divorce possible? Absolutely – if you are willing to work for it. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, child custody, child support, Conflict Resolution, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, peaceful divorce --- ### [Kris And Bruce Jenner Opt For Peaceful Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/kris-and-bruce-jenner-opt-for-peaceful-divorce/) **Published:** October 20, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** There may be a lot of drama on the Keeping Up With the Kardashians reality show, but the family matriarch, Kris Jenner, and her Olympic gold medalist husband Bruce Jenner, have opted to keep the drama out of their divorce. Instead, they have chosen to work out a peaceful, cooperative divorce without adversarial litigation. **Content:** There may be a lot of drama on the [Keeping Up With the Kardashians ](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keeping_Up_with_the_Kardashians "Keeping Up With the Kardashians")reality show, but the family matriarch, Kris Jenner, and her Olympic gold medalist husband Bruce Jenner, have opted to keep the drama out of their divorce. Instead, they have chosen to work out a peaceful, cooperative divorce without adversarial litigation. After 23 years of marriage, they have recently finalized their divorce, dividing up $60 million worth of joint accounts and properties. They cited “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for their split. In spite of this, the couple have been able to retain a friendly and caring relationship. In an [interview with PEOPLE](http://www.people.com/article/kris-jenner-files-for-divorce-bruce-jenner "PEOPLE Magazine"), Kris explained, “We will always be the best of friends, because that’s the dynamic of our relationship…We definitely get along as a family and with the kids; we’re so connected in that way. We love each other.” They will chare custody of their one minor child, Kylie, and will continue to co-parent both her and their 18-year-old daughter, Kendall. “We have families and memories and holidays and traditions. I don’t want to give that up,” Kris said in [another PEOPLE interview](http://www.people.com/article/kris-jenner-talks-divorce-bruce-jenner "PEOPLE Magazine"). “I don’t want him to take that away from me, and I don’t want to take that away from him.” Keeping the drama out of divorce is a smart way to promote a good relationship as ex-spouses move forward in their lives. Bitter struggles in divorce court can definitely ruin chances for a cooperative rapport in the future. I founded [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/ "Divorce With Dignity, Peaceful Divorce") on the belief that the needs of all family members are best met when the divorcing couple can put aside animosity and focus on creating a negotiated, peaceful divorce that is fair and workable. I wanted to help people retain control over the decisions that will affect the rest of their lives rather than give that control over to the divorce lawyers and judges in divorce court. Many people think divorce can only be achieved by each spouse hiring a lawyer and spending thousands of dollars and months or even years going through the court proceedings. This is far from the truth. [Divorce With Dignity divorce facilitators](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) can explain how the divorce process works, help our clients work out a divorce settlement, and assist them with filling out and filing the divorce papers – all for a lot less money and a lot less time. No need for expensive lawyers or a long, drawn-out procedure. Even if a client’s situation calls for legal consultation, the billable hours can be drastically reduced by a [Limited Scope Representation](http://www.courts.ca.gov/1085.htm "Limited Scope Representation") agreement in which the attorney agrees to provide legal information and advice about your case without representing you in court. A Divorce With Dignity facilitator can then help you through the rest of the divorce process. If you have decided that a peaceful divorce is the best choice for you, please visit our [website ](https://dwdignity.com/ "Divorce With Dignity, Peaceful Divorce")and contact a [Divorce With Dignity facilitator](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "Find a Divorce Facilitator") near you. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** cooperative divorce, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce papers, kardashian divorce, keeping up with the kardashians, limited scope representation --- ### [Reducing The Cost Of Divorce With Professional Planning](https://dwdignity.com/reducing-the-cost-of-divorce-with-professional-planning/) **Published:** May 19, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Attorney Alan Mikshansky, our Divorce With Dignity affiliate owner in Sacramento County, CA, offers Family Law services related to divorce planning and facilitation, divorce coaching, and spouse/child support. One of his goals is to help people avoid costly mistakes that often occur with “do-it-yourself” divorce methods, **Content:** Attorney [Alan Mikshansky](http://sacramento.dwdignity.com/ "California Divorce"), our [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/ "Amicable Divorce") affiliate owner in Sacramento County, CA, offers Family Law services related to divorce planning and facilitation, divorce coaching, and spouse/child support. One of his goals is to help people avoid costly mistakes that often occur with “do-it-yourself” divorce methods, and show them how they can reduce the cost of divorce with professional planning. We asked him to share his thoughts on this topic. A lot of people try to reduce the costs of divorce by turning to self-help books or online legal documents providers for a “do-it-yourself” divorce. Although many of these do have some good advice, most of them are geared toward getting people to call in on their help-line or urging them to contact an attorney. Self-help books offer a bare-bones approach, and there are many gaps. And if you look at the online legal services, you’ll find huge disclaimers at the bottom of every page. They make it look easy by asking you to just answer some questions while they fill in the form for you. But are they asking the right questions? It’s usually a list of fairly general questions, not really personalized for you. It’s one thing to fill out the paperwork, and quite another to know what’s behind the paperwork and to know how the answers you enter will affect you in the future. When people try to fill out the divorce papers on their own, they run into the same issues about not knowing the right questions to ask or knowing how to deal with the special circumstances of their situation. They don’t know how to move the process along and get it done. They are plagued with questions, confusion, and misunderstandings, and the process can get stalled. Or even worse, they can move forward in the wrong way and get things all twisted up. Someone who doesn’t know in the beginning what they want might do the paperwork wrong at first and have to start all over again. They can continue on this path of false starts until it drags on for so long that they get frustrated and emotionally drained, and end up having to get attorneys involved, adding to their financial burden. But what if people were to get help in the beginning of the process from a legal professional who knows how the divorce process works and knows the right questions to ask, someone who can help with planning a divorce for the best outcome, and can act as a guide through the steps? The whole process would become much simpler, easier, and quicker – and much less costly than litigation. This is exactly what I offer to anyone seeking a peaceful divorce. Even though divorcing couples’ situations can have similarities, they are all unique. What might work for one couple might not work for another. That is why it helps to have someone guide you through the process, a neutral party who is there to listen to you and answer your questions. As a Divorce With Dignity professional with comprehensive experience in family law, I understand how this whole process works and how to help you plan your divorce carefully so you can make good decisions for the best outcome possible. With [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/ "Amicable Divorce"), you get personalized divorce support services while saving yourself a great deal of time, stress, and money. To contact [Alan Mikshansky](http://sacramento.dwdignity.com/ "Sacramento Divorce"), or [find a Divorce With Dignity professional in your area,](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) please visit our [website](https://dwdignity.com/). **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** affordable divorce in sacramento, cheap divorce, cost of divorce, Divorce Advice, divorce california, divorce quotes, divorce rates --- ### [Sometimes love isn’t all you need](https://dwdignity.com/sometimes-love-isnt-all-you-need/) **Published:** August 4, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** It’s becoming common for older people in romantic relationships simply to live together. Marriage may seem unnecessary. However, couples that live together do not have the same legal rights as married couples. **Content:** This article is reprinted with permission of Joann Babiak, Attorney and Mediator, helps people in the greater SF Bay Area to address family law and small business needs. Email her at It’s becoming common for older people in romantic relationships simply to live together. Marriage may seem unnecessary. However, couples that live together do not have the same legal rights as married couples. Consider some possible scenarios. You’ve lived together for 15 years. He moved into your place. You never married. But what if he had a stroke and was unable to make health care decisions? What if you died without a will? He could be forced to move. Is that really what you would want? Or maybe you bought a house together in Tahoe. One of you made the down payment, and then you split the mortgage. You decide the relationship’s over. Now what? ## It’s important to address three key issues: • Health care decisions • Estate planning and disposition of assets upon death • What protection is needed if the relationship ends ### Making health care decisions If your partner is unable to make health care decisions and you are neither family nor spouse, you may have no legal authority to act. You might have limited visiting rights, preventing you from being there through the ups and downs. You can address these kinds of issues by creating durable powers of attorney for health care and financial matters, as well as advance health care directives. ### Planning your estate What about the disposition of assets? As in the example above, if the owner of the home dies without a will, the property most likely goes to the next of kin (perhaps the kids), and the surviving partner could be forced to move. If the partner had substantially less wealth and you have not put legal protections in place, your passing puts him in a position of hardship. State law dictates the property rights of a surviving spouse, but does nothing for the surviving member of an unmarried couple. Consult with an estate planning attorney to put the protections of a will or trust in place, specifically designating your beneficiary. ### Getting it in writing According to attorney and mediator Joann Babiak, “Ideally, before moving in together, make sure you put a written agreement about your property in place — you can always revisit and make changes to your understandings as time goes on.” Like with the Tahoe example, buying property together complicates things. Whose name is on the title? Who owns what percent? How can the value be fairly divided if these issues aren’t clearly spelled out? Expensive gifts given during the relationship can be tricky, too. Written proof that an item was a gift will avoid dispute. These are just a few instances in which a couple would benefit from a written agreement. While living together seems simpler than getting married, in many ways it is not. There are all sorts of reasons not to marry. Maybe you’re afraid of the commitment. Cohabitation relieves you of uncomfortable conversations around money. But living together still requires intimate discussions about money, property and health care decisions. And you should have a written agreement in case you split up. Entering a committed relationship without changing your legal status has implications. You must weave your own safety net. Consult your attorney, estate planner or financial planner for help in these delicate discussions. It can make all the difference in the world. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** is love all you need, joann babiak, love is all you need, married couples --- ### [Temporary Spousal Support Pending Divorce Judgment](https://dwdignity.com/temporary-spousal-support-pending-divorce-judgment/) **Published:** June 9, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** In California, once a divorce is filed, temporary spousal support can be paid by the higher earning spouse to the lower earning spouse on a monthly basis at a dollar amount which will maintain the supported spouse at the same or similar living conditions and standards that the parties had enjoyed during the marriage. **Content:** In California, once a divorce is filed, temporary spousal support can be paid by the higher earning spouse to the lower earning spouse on a monthly basis at a dollar amount which will maintain the supported spouse at the same or similar living conditions and standards that the parties had enjoyed during the marriage. Temporary support is an attempt to protect the lower earning spouse from becoming destitute before the case ends and the parties’ assets are divided. Divorce cases can take many months to resolve so temporary support is critical for the spouse who needs it. It is best that the parties negotiate the amount of temporary spousal support outside of Court and formalize the agreement in a written stipulation. If they cannot agree, a judge can be asked to order temporary spousal support after a noticed hearing. That can be expensive. In California, there are extensive factors that the judge must consider, including but not limited to what was the marital standard of living of the parties, and the current income, age, health and education of the parties. The hearing will be like a mini-trial on the issues, and the Court will consider all the written evidence, declarations, and can even take lay and expert witness testimony. If you are asking for support and are represented by an attorney, you may also ask the judge to award you attorney’s fees along with the support. If the judge rules that you need fees, and the other side can afford it, then your spouse may have to pay your fees and his/her own fees if represented by an attorney. It can spiral up on both sides and get costly! However, it does not have to be that way. If the divorcing couple can work out the issues between themselves, it gives them more flexibility and control over their situation. There are software programs, certified by the California Judicial Council, which can calculate child and spousal support guideline amounts. Two examples of this type of software are [Xspouse](https://www.xspouse.com/ "Xspouse") and [CalSupport ](http://www.nolotech.com/CA/CalSupport.html "CalSupport")(Nolo Press). You can purchase and download these programs online yourself. The better solution is to ask a trained professional to run the numbers. When working with one of these professionals, such as a Certified Divorce Financial Planner or a [Divorce With Dignity facilitator](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "Amicable Divorce") or mediator, the couple benefits not only from the professional’s access to and experience with the software, but also from her/his skills in helping clients come to agreement. Going this route lessens the chance of having enforcement issues which might require future hearings and more wasted fees. [Divorced With Dignity facilitators](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "Amicable Divorce") are fully trained on the software for determining the guidelines for temporary spousal support, and can help our clients to work out a fair agreement in an amicable fashion, while saving them time and money. Would you like to learn more about our services? Please visit [dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/ "Amicable Divorce") and let us show you how we can help guide you through your divorce – with dignity! **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** CalSupport, family law, spousal support calculator, spousal support guidelines, temporary spousal support, Xspouse --- ### [What Divorce Options Do I Have Other Than Going To Court?](https://dwdignity.com/what-divorce-options-do-i-have-other-than-going-to-court/) **Published:** November 3, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** I often hear from clients that until a friend referred them to Divorce With Dignity, they were not even aware that there are divorce options other than going through litigation. I was talking about this recently with Joann Babiak, a San Francisco Bay Area attorney who handles many family law matters, **Content:** I often hear from clients that until a friend referred them to [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/ "Divorce With Dignity Peaceful Divorce"), they were not even aware that there are divorce options other than going through litigation. I was talking about this recently with [Joann Babiak](https://www.linkedin.com/in/attorneyjoannbabiak "Joann Babiak, Attorney"), a San Francisco Bay Area attorney who handles many family law matters, including divorce and mediation of family-related conflicts. She also has a background in psychology and extensive training in mediation and dispute resolution. Since we both work with clients seeking divorce, our conversation led to the topic of how we can help strengthen our clients’ vision of what is possible to achieve without court-based proceedings. She agreed to share some of her thoughts on this topic in this blog posting. For this article, when Joann talks about legal matters, she is talking specifically about California law. It’s true that many people are unaware of options they have when it comes to divorce. There are many doors to the court house, and a lot of people have the perception of just the “Perry Mason door” – a litigated case with a big “aha!” dramatic moment – which is generally not what happens in family law. In a divorce there is a definite potential for hostilities in the court room. The court system is set up as an adversarial system. But there are much better places to air hostilities, such as with therapists, counselors, and supportive friends – people who can help you regain your equilibrium. Divorce is a journey from point A to point B. It can be smooth sailing, or you might have to contend with some serious storms. Before I discuss legal divorce options with my clients, I ask them to share with me their background, situation, and goals. There’s more to divorce than just picking a legal option – I work with my client to set a course that’s right for his or her circumstances. I ask my clients to express their feelings about the impending divorce – some feel great relief; others are stunned and in shock, feeling like the floor has just dropped out from under them. In any case, it’s not easy to disentangle oneself from someone you’ve been living with for 10, 20, or 30+ years. My desire is to help clients through the process with the least amount of trauma to their financial and emotional security. Once I get a feel for my client’s unique situation, we discuss strategic considerations of the case and how these influence the client’s choice of available legal options. One of the legal options, of course, is litigation. But there are other often less contentious choices that could result in an out-of-court settlement, such as mediation or collaborative law. These often are better approaches in light of the client’s own desires. States other than California may have different options. One thing I do ***not*** advise is for couples to try to do the divorce themselves. It’s in their best interest to consult with a professional who can make sure their rights are not being neglected. I know some clients initially take the attitude of “give them everything, I don’t care”. These are often people who are in despair. My advice to them is to step back and not rush through the divorce process. Couples need to take a look at all their assets and debts (each spouse’s full disclosure is mandated by California law), and find a way to divide them up fairly. Many people think that if only one of the spouse’s names is on a particular asset acquired during the marriage that they don’t have any rights to that asset. Under California law, this is not necessarily the case. I try to strengthen my client’s vision of what is possible to achieve without litigation by illuminating the big picture, and talking about ways for the client and soon-to-be ex-spouse to design futures with regard to parent-share time, child care, child support, spousal support, etc. instead of leaving such decisions up to a judge. My goal is to help my client create a good life for him or herself after this chapter closes. At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/), we have a similar philosophy to Joann’s. We take the time to get to know our clients so we can provide them with the best service in helping them to achieve a peaceful, non-litigated divorce. Knowing that divorce is more than just filing the legal papers, we take a holistic approach by offering referrals to other types of professionals that may be helpful in each case, such as therapists, divorce coaches, financial counselors, realtors, and attorneys when legal advice is required. To find a Divorce With Dignity facilitator in your area, please visit [our website](https://dwdignity.com/). I wish to thank Joann for sharing her insights. Our conversation also included the topic of mediation in divorce, which will be the subject of a future blog posting. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** collaborative divorce, divorce options, family law, joann babiak, mediation, non-litigated divorce, san francisco divorce --- ### [What Kind Of Financial Support Can Help Me In My Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/what-kind-of-financial-support-can-help-me-in-my-divorce/) **Published:** May 26, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce can bring up a lot of financial issues – property division, child and spousal support, and figuring out how to live on one income instead of two. You may have some questions or concerns, such as: **Content:** Divorce can bring up a lot of financial issues – property division, child and spousal support, and figuring out how to live on one income instead of two. You may have some questions or concerns, such as: - What constitutes marital property? - How do we put a value on marital property and divide it? - How do retirement accounts and pension funds get divided? - Should we keep, sell, or refinance our properties? - If spousal support is a consideration, what is the best way to strategize the support? - What are the tax implications of how we divide things? And your comprehensive question might be: What kind of financial support can help me in my divorce? Who can give me the information I need to make good decisions on these issues? There are several types of resources you can utilize to help you figure things out. Depending on your need, you may want to consult with a CPA, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, or a Credit Counselor. CPA CPA’s are Certified Public Accountants and can be useful for people with complicated finances and/or tax situations. A CPA can help a divorcing couple assemble their financial data, so they they know and understand their economic status in order to make decisions about their current situation and to plan for the future. He/she can also assist couples in determining the tax benefits and costs associated with the property division, and the tax ramifications of different spousal and child support combinations. Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) CDFA’s are trained professionals who have passed certain tests to become a financial analyst specializing in divorce issues. They are commonly used when a couple has large assets or a business to divide. A CDFA helps clients take care of not only their short-term needs, but their long-term needs as well. He/she can help you negotiate a divorce settlement that is fair to both spouses, and can also provide you with the knowledge you need to ensure both parties will be secure in their financial needs after the divorce. Credit Counselor If you have a lot of debt, you may need to go to a credit counselor or file for bankruptcy. Credit counselors are often free or low-cost and can assist you in determining the best options to meet your needs by advising you on managing your money, offering solutions to your current financial problems, and developing a personalized plan to help you prevent future difficulties. Although these resources can help you work out your financial issues connected with divorce, you must be very careful about choosing the person(s) you work with. Some financial professionals might see your assets as possible “investment” opportunies rather than what’s best for you. Ask for recommendations from some of their clients, if possible. At least make sure that you feel comfortable with them, that they have been in business for awhile, and that they work within the divorce arena. [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/ "Divorce Support") divorce specialists take a holistic approach to helping their clients achieve a peaceful divorce. That means that in addition to assisting them with divorce planning and filing the divorce papers with the court, we offer referrals to other professionals, such as financial support consultants, depending on each client’s situation. To [find a Divorce With Dignity specialist near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "Divorce Alternatives"), please visit our website. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** Divorce Advice, divorce financial analyst, divorce financial support, Financial Planning For Divorce --- ### [When To Seek Therapy For A Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/when-to-seek-therapy-for-a-divorce-process/) **Published:** August 11, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce With Dignity is a divorce facilitation service with the goal of getting people through their divorce in a holistic, cooperative, peaceful, and cost-effective way. One of the benefits we offer our clients is referrals for additional services they may need to make the divorce a smoother transition. **Content:** [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/ "what is a peaceful divorce") is a divorce facilitation service with the goal of getting people through their divorce in a holistic, cooperative, peaceful, and cost-effective way. One of the benefits we offer our clients is referrals for additional services they may need to make the divorce a smoother transition. For example, some clients may be in situations where they have a need to seek therapy or counseling during the divorce process. In these cases, we refer them to professionals like [Susan Regan, MFT](http://solutionstherapyandmediation.com/). Susan is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, who is also trained as a Mediator. We asked Susan to share her thoughts on when it would be appropriate to seek therapy when going through a divorce. *Divorce is difficult for everyone, but what are the signs that someone may need some professional counseling, therapy, or mediation to deal with divorce issues?* There are many situations that call for professional help when working through a divorce. Some of these are – - mental instability on the part of either spouse - depression / thoughts of suicide - addiction issues - learning how to co-parent in changing circumstances - when one spouse is incapable of caring for the children - unemployment / fear of dependency - changing roles, such as one spouse becoming the stay-at-home parent or going out into the workforce - when one spouse feels that the other one is trying to control them - abusive behavior toward the spouse or the children I want to draw attention to the issue of depression and suicidal thoughts or statements. If one partner is potentially suicidal, it can make the other partner feel trapped into staying in the relationship. They may feel like they can’t leave without the threat of the other person doing self harm. In this case, professional therapy on several levels is called for. I’d also like to say more about abusive behavior situations. When people try to leave an abusive partner, it’s an incredibly sensitive and fragile time for them. They want to know, “How can I leave and still be safe?” If they rush out and file for divorce, that can start an explosion in the family, and people become much more vulnerable in these situations. Instead of rushing into things, it’s wise to get help to plan how to separate in a less explosive way. With a professional therapist or mediator, they will have someone managing the discussion, assuring both parties that they will be involved in the decisions and can have some say about how and when the divorce happens. This can cool down a potentially volatile situation, and helps both parties to feel more settled and that their concerns are being heard. If the couple has children, I can talk with the kids about the divorce and also about their parents’ behavior toward them. This provides an opportunity to help the parents address any behavioral issues that need modification as they become divorced co-parents. If there is a control or abuse issue in the spousal relationship, the day when the person moves out or comes back to get their stuff can be tense and possibly explosive. It’s important to have some support people there to help keep things under control. With the help of legal and counseling professionals, planning a divorce can take some of the explosiveness and unpredictability out of the situation, and put a damper on the drama. *What are the main benefits that can be gained from therapy during **and** after a divorce?* During the divorce, it helps the couple have actual discussions instead of having shouting matches or making unilateral decisions. Negotiated agreements may not get each person exactly what they want, but will get them an agreement they both can feel comfortable with. Therapy or counseling sessions can also help people navigate the transition to their new roles and circumstances. They can learn how to reinvent their lives, check in with me about their kids and how they are doing after the divorce, and get co-parenting counseling. Our thanks to Susan for her insights on when to seek therapy for a divorce process. For more information about Susan’s practice and specialties, and about her Separation/Divorce Workshop, please visit [Solutions Therapy and Mediation](http://solutionstherapyandmediation.com/ "Solutions Therapy and Mediation"). For more information about how Divorce With Dignity can help you plan your divorce, please [visit our website](https://dwdignity.com/ "divorce process"). To find a Divorce With Dignity facilitator near you, click here for [divorce help](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "divorce help"). **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce Counseling, divorce mediation, Divorce Process, divorce therapy, planning for divorce, susan regan, therapy for divorce --- ### [Where Will I Live During My Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/where-will-i-live-during-my-divorce/) **Published:** July 14, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** One of the difficult decisions to make during a divorce is where the spouses will live, both during the divorce and after. Granted, it’s not easy to live with someone once you’ve decided to divorce. But it might be a financial and logistical necessity, at least for awhile. **Content:** One of the difficult decisions to make during a divorce is where the spouses will live, both during the divorce and after. Granted, it’s not easy to live with someone once you’ve decided to divorce. But it might be a financial and logistical necessity, at least for awhile. ## If you are in a financial position to have one of you move out… Great! Now you just need to decide who will be the one to move. Considerations: Will one of you want to stay in the home after the divorce? Do you have children, and if so, which of you will remain with them in the home during this time? ## If you cannot afford to have one of you move to a rental home… Do you have any friends or family members you could move in with for awhile? If you choose this option, be realistic about how long your stay might need to be. Some divorces can drag on for many months, or even a year or more. However, if you and your spouse are willing to negotiate an [amicable divorce without litigation](https://dwdignity.com/), the divorce can be achieved a lot quicker. What if staying with family or friends is not a good option for you? Then you will need to figure out how to share the home you are in for the time being. ## If you need to temporarily stay in the same home… You’ll need to establish some ground rules for cohabitation. Consider these guidelines – - *Designate and respect each other’s space.* Decide on some rooms that are exclusive to each spouse, so you will each have a place to retreat to without the other intruding. Figure out who will be sleeping where, and how you will share the bathroom(s). - *Share schedules.* Avoid surprises about when one of you might suddenly show up and with whom. - *Develop a parenting schedule.* This would be a good time to ease the children into the pattern of having certain days in the week when they will be in one or the other parent’s exclusive care. - *Manage mutual finances.* Set a realistic budget, and decide who will be responsible for getting the bills paid. Dedicate a place in the home for bank statements, receipts, and bills. ## If you own your house, what will eventually happen with it? - Will one of you stay in the home after the divorce? Have you considered all the additional costs involved in home ownership besides mortgage payments, and determined that it’s affordable for the person staying? - Will one of you buy out the other spouse’s interest in the house? How will you determine the home’s value? - If it is to be sold, how long will you keep the home before putting it on the market? - Once the home is sold, how will you determine a fair share for each of you? There are multiple options and many factors to consider when deciding what to do about living arrangements during and after a divorce. It would be wise to talk with financial and divorce professionals to get the information you need to make the best decisions for your family. Our [Divorce With Dignity facilitators](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "How to prepare for divorce") can offer suggestions you may not have thought of, and can refer you to other professionals who may be needed, such as divorce financial experts or real estate brokers. For assistance in planning your divorce, as well as help with the divorce agreement and legal paperwork, contact the [Divorce With Dignity office near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "How to prepare for divorce"). **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce support, living arrangements during divorce, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce, where to live during divorce --- ### [Amicable Divorce: Liberty Ross and Rupert Sanders](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-liberty-ross-and-rupert-sanders/) **Published:** December 22, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** British model Liberty Ross married movie director Rupert Sanders (also British) in 2002. At the time, her modeling career was soaring, as she starred in ads for Dior, Chanel, and Burberry. When she was pregnant with their first child, they moved to Los Angeles to further Sanders’ directing career, while she took on the role of stay-at-home mom. **Content:** # Amicable Divorce: Liberty Ross and Rupert Sanders Dec 22, 2014 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/) **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, Divorce support, kristen stewart, liberty ross, peaceful divorce, Rupert Sanders --- ### [Dealing With Child Custody Issues In Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/dealing-with-child-custody-issues-in-divorce/) **Published:** December 10, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** As a divorce facilitator with the Divorce With Dignity Network, my role is to be a “library of resources” to those who are seeking an amicable divorce. I coach my clients through the process, assist them with all the legal documents, and when necessary I can refer them to other qualified professionals such as mediators, counselors, and attorneys. **Content:** *This article is contributed by* [Christine Marinkovich](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "Broward County Divorce")*, our Divorce With Dignity owner affiliate in Broward County, Florida.* As a divorce facilitator with the [Divorce With Dignity Network](https://dwdignity.com/), my role is to be a “library of resources” to those who are seeking an amicable divorce. I coach my clients through the process, assist them with all the legal documents, and when necessary I can refer them to other qualified professionals such as mediators, counselors, and attorneys. Whenever children are involved in a divorce, there are always questions about child custody issues. Although I cannot give legal advice, I can explain some of the basic concepts involved. In Florida, where I have my Divorce With Dignity office, parents usually deal with two types of custody issues: (1) who makes the decisions regarding the children’s health, education and welfare, and (2) where the children reside, which includes the parenting schedule. Usually the parents will agree on jointly making the decisions regarding their children’s health, education and welfare, unless there are serious issues with one of the parents. On the issue regarding where the children reside, one parent is usually the main caregiver while the other parent gets a visitation schedule. Even in a 50-50 time-sharing situation, there is usually a primary parent for school designations, etc. A typical time-sharing schedule is every other weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm, plus one night during the week, with special arrangements for school breaks and important holidays. Some parents have tried to split the week in half and have the child go to one home for the first half of the week, and the other home for the second half. Others have decided on a full week with one parent and the next full week with the other parent, alternating. These latter types of arrangements might work well for children who are pre-teens or teenagers, but in my opinion these are not ideal for younger children who need a more consistent routine. Some issues that need to be determined concerning child custody are how and where the child will be exchanged, who can decide about extra-curricular activities, and who will pay for what. Also, there needs to be an agreement that each parent always communicates where the child will be, and provides contact information if they are going to travel outside the state or country. Discussions around child custody issues can sometimes get fairly heated. When things get a bit stressful in reaching an agreement, I suggest to my clients to put a picture of their child/children in the middle of the table and try to base their decision on what is best for *them*, and not on what the one parent wants to do to the other parent. At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/), our goal is to help our clients make the transition of divorce as peacefully as possible, and with as little disruption and stress as possible to the lives of the family members. A respectful and amicable divorce can be achieved if approached not as a way to “win”, but as a solution to move on in a positive direction. If you have decided that divorce is your best option, and would like to accomplish it with dignity, please visit our website to [find a Divorce With Dignity facilitator](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) in your area. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, child custody, child custody issues, child visitation, Christine Marinkovich, legal custody, primary parent --- ### [Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Divorce: Putting The Children First](https://dwdignity.com/mariah-carey-and-nick-cannon-divorce-putting-the-children-first/) **Published:** December 31, 2014 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Another celebrity couple calls it quits and opts for divorce; this time it’s singer Mariah Carey and America’s Got Talent host Nick Cannon. The couple were married on April 30, 2008, and exactly three years later they welcomed twins Monroe and Moroccan into their family. **Content:** Another celebrity couple calls it quits and opts for divorce; this time it’s singer Mariah Carey and *America’s Got Talent* host Nick Cannon. The couple were married on April 30, 2008, and exactly three years later they welcomed twins Monroe and Moroccan into their family. But in August of this year, they confirmed that they are splitting up. The last few months have been rocky, and reconciliation between the estranged spouses seems remote. But after a recent heart-to-heart conversation, they have decided to put aside their any hard feelings for the sake of their children. They want to spend holidays and birthdays together as a family to lessen the effect of their split on the kids, and they put that into action this past Thanksgiving. They also have plans to spend Christmas together. In an interview with [In Touch](http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/nick-cannon-and-mariah-carey-are-spending-christmas-together-with-the-twins-46840), Nick said, “Gotta keep that going. I want to make sure we have a wonderful holiday together.” He told *In Touch* that he also plans to keep things friendly with Mariah. “We talk and text every day. My children are my No. 1 priority. Everything I do is for them. I just want to be the best father I can possbily be.” Mariah reportedly also wants to move toward an amicable divorce while putting the children first. Nick has been promoting his new Christmas book, [Roc and Roe’s 12 Days of Christmas](http://www.amazon.com/Roc-Roes-Twelve-Days-Christmas/dp/0545519500)*,* featuring the twins Moroccan and Monroe. Part of that promotion was an appearance on Good Morning America, in which he said, “We’ll be a forever family. At the same time, we’re there for our children, making them the No. 1 priority and understanding that they’re loved and can have an amazing holiday.” The three-year-old twins are too young to really understand what’s happening between their parents, but there are still steps parents can take, whether they are celebrities or not, to make the transition easier when one parent moves out. [Dr. Lori Love](http://lovealvarez.com/dr_love.html), a therapist and collaborative divorce child specialist based in San Diego, CA, has the following suggestions: - For young children, let them know that even though Mommy and Daddy are no longer together, they both love them very much, and that the change in living arrangements was **not** their fault. - Before talking with children about the divorce, Love suggests the parents speak with a professional to learn the appropriate words to use when explaining the situation to them. - Love also recommends avoiding over-explaining what caused the break-up, and keeping the conversation at an age-appropriate level. - Consistency and familiarity are the keys to making a child feel safe and secure, by reinforcing structure and trust within their environment. As advocates of amicable and peaceful divorce, [Divorce With Dignity divorce facilitators](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) help our clients work out divorce agreements that are not only fair to each spouse, but that put the needs of the children first. We find that when the focus is on the children, people are better able to put their negative emotions aside for the sake of harmony, just as Mariah and Nick are doing. While we do not advocate divorce, we recognize that sometimes it is the best solution for some couples. If this is your situation, and you would like to talk with a Divorce With Dignity professional about how we can help you plan and achieve a peaceful, friendly, and dignified divorce, please [contact us](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, celebrity divorce, children and divorce, Divorce support, Mariah Carey divorce, Monroe and Moroccan Cannon, Nick Cannon --- ### [What Will Retirement Look Like Now That I’m Divorced?](https://dwdignity.com/what-will-retirement-look-like-now-that-im-divorced/) **Published:** January 29, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Retirement. You may have been planning it for years, working out how you and your spouse will manage it financially and how you’ll be spending your more abundant free time together. You’re nearing retirement age when all of a sudden you find yourself going through divorce, and all your plans and dreams are shattered. What do you do now? **Content:** Retirement. You may have been planning it for years, working out how you and your spouse will manage it financially and how you’ll be spending your more abundant free time together. You’re nearing retirement age when all of a sudden you find yourself going through divorce, and all your plans and dreams are shattered. What do you do now? [Gloria Dunn-Violin, a Certified Retirement Life Coach](http://www.nowwhatrcoach.com/), agreed to share her insights on this topic. Gloria has an extensive background in helping people create fulfilling lives both before and after retirement. Before becoming a retirement life coach, she spent 25 years providing training, coaching, and consulting in the field of Organizational Development and Behavior, and wrote the book [From Making a Living to Having a Life](http://www.amazon.com/From-Making-Living-Having-Life/dp/0966086759). Currently she focuses on helping people plan for a happy retirement via her business, [NOW WHAT Retirement Coaching](http://www.nowwhatrcoach.com/). Here’s what she shared with us. Retirement and divorce have some very similar elements. Certainly they both involve big change and transition. The experience of both transitions are also similar depending on the circumstances. For example, quitting your job feels very different than being fired or laid off. Similarly, divorcing because it is your choice feels quite different than if your spouse springs it on you. When the transition is not your choice, it’s more difficult to deal with and entails a big emotional aftermath. But whether the choice was yours or not, it’s a huge upset to your lifestyle and previous plans. To make things less difficult, it’s important to reinvent your future with a new plan. Retirement used to be for a shorter time; nowadays, people generally live longer and hopefully healthier. We could be living in retirement for 30 or even 40 years! What are we going to do in all those years? Retirement philosophy has changed. No longer viewed as a time to just slow down and do nothing, it is now seen as a chance for a new beginning! If you enjoyed your work, maybe you’d like to do it part-time as a consultant. Is there something you have always wanted to do that you never had time for before? Here’s your chance to take up sculpting, learn how to fly a plane, take some painting classes, or become a great golfer. Would you like to discover and learn new things? Now you have time to take some anthropology or art history classes, or explore the sciences. Now is your time to make a positive new beginning in your life! Some people have hidden treasures and talents that don’t come to light until they have the time and space to discover them. One of my clients took some art classes after she retired and found that she had a great gift for it. Another client had wanted to be a writer since she was five years old, and finally had the time to develop that talent. When people retire or get divorced, they sometimes lose their perceived purpose in life, and feel they have no reason to get up in the morning. We need to find our personal purpose and meaning in life that is not related to a job or marriage. This could be volunteer work, activism, exploration, or many other things. We have so many options and opportunities these days! Another important aspect of a happy retirement is to have a support system in place. We need other people, not only for our emotional health, but because when you interact with others you discover more about yourself. This is a great time for personal growth. Coming out of a divorce or a work layoff, one’s self-esteem can be hit pretty hard. Now’s the time to redevelop your self-esteem and form a good relationship with yourself. It’s vitally important to have a plan for this phase of your life, a plan to help you prepare for and move to where you want to go. A retirement coach can be a great resource to help you create your plan for a fulfilling and meaningful “rest of your life”. Make it a new priority to let the creative and curious part of you come out to play – it’s been waiting a long time! Our thanks to Gloria for sharing her perspective on retirement and divorce. [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) is all about helping people to not only get through the divorce procedure with peace and dignity, but also to give them referrals to other professionals who can help them rebuild their lives and make a new beginning. To speak with a Divorce With Dignity associate, please visit our [website](https://dwdignity.com/). **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** divorce and retirement, Divorce support, life coach, retirement coach --- ### [8 Signs You’re Headed For Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/8-signs-youre-headed-for-divorce/) **Published:** February 25, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Despite what some may think (or claim), no marriage is perfect. But many couples are able to tolerate the imperfections and deal with their differences with flexibility and compromise, because they have a solid positive connection with each other. If that connectedness starts to disintegrate, the marriage is in trouble and steps should be taken to prevent its dissolution. **Content:** # 8 Signs You’re Headed For Divorce Feb 25, 2015 | [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/), [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/) **Categories:** Blog, Divorce Process --- ### [Change And Transition In Divorce: Making It Work For You](https://dwdignity.com/change-and-transition-in-divorce-making-it-work-for-you/) **Published:** August 26, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce brings both change and transition to all parties involved. Change is what happens on the outside, or the external events, while transition is what we go through on the inside as these events unfold. **Content:** # Change And Transition In Divorce: Making It Work For You Aug 26, 2015 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Change The Transition In Divorce, Divorce Counseling --- ### [Dating after divorce](https://dwdignity.com/dating-after-divorce/) **Published:** July 1, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** For someone who has recently gone through a divorce, the thought of dating after divorce can feel quite daunting and can bring up a whole slew of different emotions – fear, apprehension, low self-esteem, feeling “broken”, reluctance to trust someone again, etc. Can these negative feelings be overcome? How does one jump back into the dating scene, and when is it a good time to start? **Content:** For someone who has recently gone through a divorce, the thought of dating after divorce can feel quite daunting and can bring up a whole slew of different emotions – fear, apprehension, low self-esteem, feeling “broken”, reluctance to trust someone again, etc. Can these negative feelings be overcome? How does one jump back into the dating scene, and when is it a good time to start? Barbara Gordon ([The Love Muse](http://www.thelovemuse.com/home.html)) is a relationship consultant who is sharing with us today some of her insights and experience regarding dating after divorce. **What advice to you give newly divorced people regarding dating? How can you help them overcome negative feelings?** I listen to where their fear or pain is, and then guide them in looking at their woundedness. My goal is to help them stop doing the same unhelpful things over and over. For example, when women tell me they always attract unavailable men, I find it really turns out that there’s something unavailable in themselves. I help them to explore what that is, and help them see patterns in their relationships. I work with both men and women – and I gain perspective from both. Together we look at their beliefs about the opposite sex and marriage. Sometimes I challenge specific beliefs, like “there are no good men around”. Yes, there are! You just have to be open to seeing them. It’s about identifying and holding onto your values, and then looking for people with integrity and similar values, rather than looking for that 6’2” guy or that “perfect 10” gal. You need to ask yourself, “What kind of person do I really want to meet?” Additionally, you need to look at what kind of vibe you are putting out to the world. It’s important that you feel good about yourself – that’s what will make you attractive to others. Radiate confidence and joy in life. Avoid exuding desperation – that does ***not*** open you up to attracting others. It may take you some time to get to the point where you can be energetically open to a new relationship. After a divorce, I don’t recommend dating right away. It’s so important to do some self-exploration first. I suggest people give themselves six months to a year. They will feel intuitively when the time is right. **On your webiste, you mention some specific ways you can assist people to prepare for dating again. Would you elaborate on these?** - *Working together we can create a deeper understanding of who your perfect partner is with a clear vision of what you want versus what you’ve settled for in the past.* Sometimes people don’t dream big; they settle for “small” in relationships, settle for what’s familiar to them instead of really staying clear in their resolve to find a good partner. But when dreaming big, we must also have flexibility and not be too rigid in our expectations. We want to find that fine balance, which, by the way, also applies to all aspects of our lives. Finding that balance will bring more joy and happiness. - *Let authentic love into your life and have the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.* Authentic love is not game-based. If you are honest from the beginning, from your very first date, your whole relationship will be better. Authenticity is different for each person – when it’s right, you know it. Life just flows easier. Many people, consciously or unconsciously, shut themselves off from meeting someone. They’ve probably been hurt, but need to learn how to get past that. Its about energetically opening your heart – not just saying you are open to meeting someone, but truly opening yourself up to that possibility. Don’t live in fear of new relationships – it makes you closed off to the abundance of life. I know it’s difficult to leave your comfort zone, but I can help you to open up little by little, and with a little practice you can learn how to date again in a healthy and joyful way. Just try it, you might like it! **Barbara Gordon, The Love Muse** *“It’s time to find out what works instead of fumbling through what doesn’t.”* Please call me for a complimentary 45-60 minute Love Muse consultation! 510-917-0299 [www.thelovemuse.com](http://www.thelovemuse.com/) We would like to thank Barbara for sharing her ideas on how newly divorced people can move beyond the negative feelings that hinder them from finding happiness in a new relationship. [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) is more than just a service that assists divorcing couples with the required legal documents. We take a holistic approach with our clients, assisting them with divorce planning and paperwork as well as providing referrals to other professionals who can help them create their post-divorce lives. To learn more about our comprehensive services, please visit our [website](https://dwdignity.com/). **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** dating after divorce, dating again after divorce --- ### [Dealing With Divorce: Some Helpful Hints](https://dwdignity.com/dealing-with-divorce-some-helpful-hints/) **Published:** September 16, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** What is divorce? That’s a good question and one that many couples don’t stop to consider closely enough before jumping into the process. In legal terms, divorce is the legal action taken to bring about the dissolution of a marriage. In other words, it is the formal end of a marriage. **Content:** What is divorce? That’s a good question and one that many couples don’t stop to consider closely enough before jumping into the process. In legal terms, divorce is the legal action taken to bring about the dissolution of a marriage. In other words, it is the formal end of a marriage. Emotionally, it is very similar to a death as you are saying a final goodbye to something that was once precious to you. What it should never be is something that is taken lightly. Here are some hints that could help in dealing with divorce: ## Avoid the blame game This can be very difficult to do, but if your divorce boils down to mudslinging, it is no good for anyone. When asking what is divorce, you should never come up with answers that make it seem like a battle. That’s just not a healthy way to go. ## Don’t go it alone Not only should you never try dealing with divorce on your own emotionally, it is particularly important not to take this step alone from a legal standpoint. You’ll want a qualified attorney representing you so that your side is fairly represented. ## Remember the kids For couples that have children, the answer to the question what is divorce can be a complete nightmare. No matter how smoothly you and your spouse try to make things go, it will never be easy on the children. You need to take their feelings into consideration and whatever you do, do not let them get lost in the mix. ## Consider all the options There is no right and wrong when it comes to dealing with divorce. Each case is different and ultimately you need to do what is right for you. But before you decide to take this significant step, you should consider all of your options and make sure you are making this choice for the right reasons. ## Don’t forget to let go What is divorce? Among many other things, it is final, which is why you should approach it carefully. And remember, dwelling on what went wrong will not help. You need to put it behind you so that you can build a new, healthier life for yourself. This may be particularly hard to do if you have children as you and your ex will have to remain in each other’s lives as co-parents; but you still need to make the break as clean as possible. There are many factors involved in dealing with divorce, both from an emotional and a legal standpoint. As you go through the process you’ll need to consider everything from dividing marital property to agreeing on spousal and child support and custody arrangements. This is why it is so important to have a good divorce attorney to advise you. From a more personal standpoint, you may find yourself wondering whether or not divorce is the right choice for you. Nobody else can make that determination. One thing is certain about divorce for every couple though, it is never easy but unfortunately it can become necessary. Just remember never to go into it without careful consideration. **Categories:** Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** divorce, divorce tips, separation --- ### [Develop Your Divorce Support Team](https://dwdignity.com/develop-your-divorce-support-team/) **Published:** April 7, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce involves a lot more than just getting the legal paperwork done. It affects so many areas of your life, and the lives of your family. **Content:** Divorce involves a lot more than just getting the legal paperwork done. It affects so many areas of your life, and the lives of your family. If you hire attorneys, they will give you legal representation, but will they help you find ways to cope with the emotions surrounding your divorce? If you try to do it on your own using an online legal document service, will you get information on how to talk with your children about the divorce? Where can you get the support you need to plan how to reduce the negative impacts on you and your family during and after the divorce? Divorce With Dignity is a divorce planning and facilitation service dedicated to not only helping divorcing couples with their legal paperwork, but also to assisting them to develop a divorce support “team”. We offer a safe place to talk about your unique situation so we can understand how we can best help you. In addition to the many services we can provide, we also have a wealth of trusted referrals for other services you may need to get through your divorce in the best way possible and create a positive future. Your divorce support team could include professionals in the following areas: - Legal Support - Emotional Support - Financial Planning Support - Coaching Support - Support for your Children Legal Support – If you have a Divorce With Dignity office near you (), we can help you fill out the legal paperwork and file them with the courts. We can also help you and your spouse negotiate a fair divorce settlement agreement. If there are some issues that need more in-depth work, we have mediators we can recommend. There may also be some issues that require legal advice; in that case, we can refer you to attorneys who will contract with you for just that specific work. Emotional Support – It’s great if you have family and friends who can support you through this difficult time. But if you need additional help, we can connect you with a therapist who specializes in divorce issues and recovery. Divorce support groups can also be beneficial, and we can help you find those. Financial Planning Support – Whether you have lots of assets, debts and tax considerations, or if you just need to figure out your financial status and how you will manage to live on less income while you rebuild your life, we have referrals for you. From certified public accountants and certified divorce financial analysts, to financial coaches and credit counselors, we can assist you to find the services best suited to your needs. Coaching Support – Like an athletic coach, a divorce coach can help you figure out your goals and develop a plan to achieve them, giving you support each step of the way. The focus is on the future and creating the new life you want. Support for Your Children – Whether or not your children show it, divorce is a very stressful event for them. Many of them think the divorce is their fault, but may not express that to you. Get them some help. We can put you in touch with family therapists, and direct you to organizations that focus on helping kids through family difficulties. Divorce is never easy, but we at Divorce With Dignity are committed to helping you get through it in the best way possible, with peace and dignity. If you have decided that divorce is the best choice for you, contact your local Divorce With Dignity office () and let us help you assemble your personal Divorce Support Team. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** alternative to divorce, divorce services, Divorce support, divorce support team --- ### [Divorce And Credit Cards](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-and-credit-cards/) **Published:** April 22, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** There are many important aspects of divorce that need to be carefully planned, and financial issues are among the most critical because the consequences can be so far-reaching. If you are going through a divorce, a major financial decision you will have to make is how joint credit card debts will be handled. **Content:** There are many important aspects of divorce that need to be carefully planned, and financial issues are among the most critical because the consequences can be so far-reaching. If you are going through a divorce, a major financial decision you will have to make is how joint credit card debts will be handled. Divorce and credit cards is a complicated matter. It’s not enough for your divorce agreement to state who is the responsible party. Failure to pay those debts on time can affect the credit ratings of both of you unless the proper steps are taken. It’s important to understand the two kinds of credit card accounts and how they are seen differently in terms of credit history and financial responsibility, especially regarding divorce and credit cards. ## Individual account - The account holder is the responsible party for payment of the bill. - The account holder may designate other “authorized users” and have cards issued in their names. - Don’t assume that just because you have a credit card with your name on it that the account is a joint account – you may be just an “authorized user” on your spouse’s individual account. - On credit reports, the individual account may show up on both the account holder’s and the authorized user’s credit reports. - If you live in a community property state, you may be responsible for any bills on individual accounts held by your ex-spouse. ## Joint account - If you have a joint account, it will appear on the credit reports of both you and your spouse. - If you divorce, you are both responsible for any bills on joint accounts. - Credit card companies are obligated to close or freeze a joint credit account at the request of either holder on the account. So how can you protect yourself from credit card disaster during a divorce? It’s always best to consult with a financial advisor on your individual circumstances, but in general financial experts recommend you take the following steps: 1. **Freeze all joint credit accounts now.** If there is an outstanding balance, most creditors will not close the account but they will freeze it at your request. This will prevent any new charges that may hurt your credit down the line. 2. **For any individual account you hold, remove your spouse as an authorized user.** It’s important that only you will have authorization to charge items on your individual accounts. Not only will this allow you total control of the accounts, but will ensure that you have your own credit after the divorce. 3. **Request credit card companies to convert any joint accounts to individual accounts in the name of the person will be responsible for paying them.** Just be aware that credit card companies are under no obligation to do this. They may require that the balance be paid in full, or that the individual apply for credit in his or her own name, and then transfer the balance to the new individual account. 4. **Decide with your spouse who will be responsibly for repayment in full of specific accounts.** It’s easier if each account is managed by just one person. Just be aware that any agreements you and your spouse make as to these debt allocations are not binding on a third party – namely, the credit card company. If your ex-spouse agrees to pay an account and then defaults, the credit card company can still hold you legally responsible to pay it. If that happens, you are legally entitled to sue your ex for that money. Divorce planning is crucial to making sure debts are fairly allocated and that you are financially protected. Divorce and credit cards can be a sticky issue for some, so it’s wise to consult with a divorce financial planner. Part of what a Divorce With Dignity divorce facilitator does is to help you with planning all aspects of your divorce, providing referrals to professionals such as divorce financial planners/advisors to assist you with your unique financial circumstances. Let us help you to achieve a peaceful divorce where everyone is protected and fairly treated. Contact us today for more information. **Categories:** Blog, Divorce Process **Tags:** divorce and credit cards, finances --- ### [Divorce Forgiveness Rituals](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-forgiveness-rituals/) **Published:** July 15, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** As our name implies, the mission of Divorce With Dignity is to provide divorce assistance, support and facilitation for those who would like to have an amicable divorce with dignity and civility. An amicable divorce starts with the willingness of the couple to forego bitter, argumentative court proceedings in favor of peaceful negotiations, and then to move forward by **Content:** As our name implies, the mission of [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) is to provide divorce assistance, support and facilitation for those who would like to have an amicable divorce with dignity and civility. An amicable divorce starts with the willingness of the couple to forego bitter, argumentative court proceedings in favor of peaceful negotiations, and then to move forward by letting go of past hurts and anger to make room for a happier future. Forgiveness is a big part of this, and one way to nurture forgiveness is to employ a “divorce forgiveness ritual”. To learn more about divorce forgiveness rituals, we had a chat with one of the people we refer our clients to when they are seeking help in this area. **Michael Gelbart** is an integrative psychotherapist, therapeutic movement specialist and director of [Shift in Perspective Counseling and Consulting, Inc.](http://www.shiftinperspective.com/), with over 25 years experience in helping people with many different types of issues including intimacy and relationship issues, marital issues, mediation and conflict resolution, transitions, divorce, and dealing with loss and grief. When it comes to divorce, he assists the couple (together or separately) to learn how to interact with each other in a kind, respectful manner even while discussing difficult issues. Ultimately, the goal is for the couple to be able to have an amicable divorce, and then learn how to forgive each other and themselves so they can move forward in their lives. #### *Michael, can you tell us a little more about “divorce forgiveness rituals”?* In the Jewish tradition there is something called a “Get”, which is a “completion” ritual for releasing each other from the marital vows, both emotionally and spiritually. This enables the two people to accept the transition into a new relationship, one that allows them to be in the same room together and not be at war with each other, and helps them to allow forgiveness into the relationship. I like to use this tradition as a basis for helping divorcing people design their own divorce forgiveness rituals so they can let go of the negativity and focus on the positive. For those who are ready to forgive themselves and their partner, a “completion” or “divorce forgiveness ritual” can be extremely healing. Such a ritual entails some kind of material embodiment and action taken with some kind of object that symbolizes a completion and letting go. Some people incorporate journaling, burning letters, or putting their feelings and intentions in writing that they may share with their former spouse. Some people even invite their former spouse to participate in the ritual, but this must be offered as a choice, not a demand. Participation in a divorce forgiveness ritual takes courage on both sides, but can have a great cleansing effect. In my own divorce experience, we performed a Get ritual and it completely shifted the energy between us and allowed us to release the negative emotions. #### *How do you help divorcing couples to build a new and positive kind of relationship?* Couples have many different roles that they play in a relationship, and most of these have to work well to make a relationship successful. Some of these roles are sexual partner, friend, co-parent, housemate, and financial partner. We work together to deconstruct the relationship and take inventory. What is working, and what isn’t? We look at the relationship as it truly is, and then I highlight the parts that are still working. There may still be affection or admiration, or some other positive feelings. We take those positive aspects and work to develop a new, amicable relationship that is now based on their separate lives. If they can forgive and respect each other, their new relationship is off to a great start. We’d like to thank Michael for sharing his knowledge with us. To contact Michael, you may go to his [website](https://dwdignity.com/), email him at , or call him at 510-357-2527. If you would like to learn more about how Divorce With Dignity can help you achieve an amicable and cost-effective divorce, please visit our website to learn more about our holistic approach and the services we offer. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** divorce and forgiveness, ivorce forgiveness rituals --- ### [Does Divorce Scar Children For Life?](https://dwdignity.com/does-divorce-scar-children-for-life/) **Published:** April 15, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Children and divorce. We’ve all heard how devastating divorce can be for the children in the family. And many of us have known people in unhappy marriages who stay together “for the sake of the children”. **Content:** ***Children and divorce.*** We’ve all heard how devastating divorce can be for the children in the family. And many of us have known people in unhappy marriages who stay together “for the sake of the children”. They both want out of the marriage, but have heard the horror stories about children of divorced parents having trust issues and relationship issues throughout their lives. ***But is staying together for this reason really a good idea?*** Unhappy marriages can make for unhappy childhoods when the kids are witnesses of verbal, emotional, and/or physical abuse. The tensions and emotional turmoil in the home, even if the parents take great care not to argue in front of the children, are felt by everyone in the household. This can take its toll on the children and affect them even as adults. ***What about the alternative to staying in a troubled marriage – divorce?*** Does divorce itself cause damage to the children, scarring them for life? Or could the cause of damage be the negative energy surrounding divorce – loud arguments, one parent disparaging the other in front of the children, adversarial and vindictive divorce proceedings, one parent preventing the other from seeing the children, etc.? Is there a way to change these dynamics involving children and divorce to prevent scarring and damage to them? I would suggest that it isn’t the fact that the parents are divorced that causes the main problems for the children, but rather how things are handled before, during, and after the divorce. If there is a great deal of unresolved conflict going on between the parents, it is an unhealthy situation for the children. If kids are subjected to fighting before the divorce, bad-mouthing and name-calling of one or the other parent during the divorce, and continued conflicts after the divorce, it’s going to negatively affect them for a long time to come. ***There is another way.*** If you are contemplating divorce, and both you and your spouse are willing to put aside vindictiveness and anger to focus on what is best for your children, it is possible to mitigate the affects of the divorce on the kids. The key is to see yourselves as a team cooperating for the benefit of your children. Work together to find ways to settle the divorce so that the children are well cared for and have access to both parents. Cooperating to prevent emotional damage to your children during and after the divorce includes being very aware of how you talk to each other and about each other in front of the children. Avoid blaming and derogatory remarks. Be calm, civil, and polite. It is possible to divorce someone and still have an amicable, peaceful relationship with them. If you are in an unhappy marriage and you’ve done all you could to try to save it but it just hasn’t worked, don’t be afraid of scarring your children if you do end up divorced. As long as you take the necessary steps to create a peaceful divorce, work on maintaining an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse, and continue to put the needs of your children first, they will not be scarred for life. They’ll be okay if you and your ex will strive to make that happen. If you would like to learn how to achieve a peaceful, amicable divorce, I invite you to talk with one of our Divorce With Dignity divorce facilitators. Please visit our website to find a Divorce With Dignity professional near you. Our goal is to help you get through this difficult transition with the support you need to make sure all family members are taken care of. Children and divorce doesn’t have to be as traumatic a situation as one might think. **Categories:** Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** children and divorce --- ### [Emotional Recovery After Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/emotional-recovery-after-divorce/) **Published:** April 29, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** For most people, a divorce is a traumatic event. The word “trauma” comes from Greek and means “a wound”. In the 19th century, a psychological definition was added to the word to mean “an unpleasant experience which causes abnormal stress” (www.dictionary.com). Those who are wounded by divorce are just as much in need of recovery as those who have physical wounds. **Content:** For most people, a divorce is a traumatic event. The word “trauma” comes from Greek and means “a wound”. In the 19th century, a psychological definition was added to the word to mean “an unpleasant experience which causes abnormal stress” (www.dictionary.com). Those who are wounded by divorce are just as much in need of recovery as those who have physical wounds. One path to recovery is to get the divorce support you need, not only the kind of support that helps you with the divorce legal papers and procedures, but divorce support that pays attention to your emotional and psychological needs as well. [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) is a network of divorce assistance professionals who take a holistic approach to divorce, providing divorce support services as well as referrals to other professionals such as therapists and life coaches to help you through this traumatic time. If you are now facing divorce, check the list below to see how many of these apply to you: - feeling adrift - constant feeling of loss - self-pity - anger - depression - lowered sense of self-worth and self-esteem - lack of motivation and drive to try new things - less self-confidence - anxiety - worried about many things, especially about letting someone new into your life - work problems - sleep problems - dreading the thought of divorce If you saw yourself in this list, then you, my friend, have experienced emotional trauma and are in need of emotionaly recovery. Your friends might tell you that you’ll be fine, “you just need time to heal”. Broken bones need time to heal too, but have to be set in place and protected while they do. You also might need something more than just time to heal. Emotional trauma that is not attended to can lead you into a downward spiral. How can you get yourself set into a place that will make you feel whole again? Some say that going through a divorce has steps that are similar to dealing with a death – denial, anger/resentment/fear, withdrawal/grieving, and finally acceptance and action. Perhaps getting some counseling or joining a divorce support group could help you move through these steps and come to a point where you can give yourself permission to accept what has happened and move on with your life. It could be a cleansing experience that washes away all the grime and stickiness of the past and allows you to see more clearly the opportunities and exciting discoveries that await you. [Divorce With Dignity ](https://dwdignity.com/)is here to get you through the legal details of a non-litigated, peaceful divorce, and to provide divorce support that includes information about professionals or groups that might be of help to you in your emotional recovery after divorce. [Visit our website](https://dwdignity.com/) and give us a call today to get the divorce support you need to create a new and happy life for yourself. **Categories:** Blog, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce support --- ### [Find A Lawyer: The First Step To Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/find-a-lawyer-the-first-step-to-divorce/) **Published:** September 9, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Once you know the different types of lawyers available, you will be better prepared should you find yourself considering the option of divorce. But knowing which type of lawyer you need and finding the right lawyer for you are two different things. Choosing your divorce lawyer is the first step toward successfully navigating what can be very murky waters. **Content:** Once you know the different types of lawyers available, you will be better prepared should you find yourself considering the option of divorce. But knowing which type of lawyer you need and finding the right lawyer for you are two different things. Choosing your divorce lawyer is the first step toward successfully navigating what can be very murky waters. ### Knowing how to find a lawyer is important. First off, you need to consider exactly what kind of legal representation you require. Do you need mediation or are you seeking a no contest divorce? Is it likely to be an amicable split or will it involve quite a bit of potentially nasty legal wrangling? The answers to these questions can help point you in the right direction when choosing an attorney. Once you have found your way through the various different types of lawyers, you need to get an idea of the divorce attorneys who are available in your area or are licensed to practice in whatever location the divorce proceedings will be handled. You can check your local yellow pages or such online resources as lawyers.com and compile a list of names; then it’s time to begin narrowing your choices. ### The most important factor in knowing how to find a lawyer is doing your homework. Consult any and all resources available to you, including the state bar association, Internet resources and personal recommendations from friends, family members and acquaintances. All can be very helpful in determining the qualifications of a particular attorney. At this point, you should be able to get past considering different types of lawyers and zero in on specific attorneys. Once you have a short list of names, you can make an initial phone call to each, which can tell you a lot about how an attorney operates. If the office staff seems professional, courteous and eager to answer your questions, then chances are the attorney will be the same. When considering how to find a lawyer, you want to look for someone who is experienced, capable and does not have any potential conflicts of interest. You can ask for a brochure from his or her office to get a better idea of the general office practices and you should always ask to see a copy of the lawyer’s retainer document before you sign it. If you have any questions, be sure to ask them before you put your signature on anything. ### Another important factor in choosing a lawyer is seeing what kind of professional associations he/she has. There may be different types of lawyers, but they often have to work together and having affiliates in other areas of the law can be an asset. So too can being a member in long standing of various professional groups. All of this speaks toward credibility and a solid reputation. So now you know how to find a lawyer, but that doesn’t mean that you should be rushing out to find one. Divorce can be destructive for every member of a family, so it should always be a last resort. But if you find yourself facing that difficult choice, then the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to ensure that you have a good attorney on your side. It is important to understand that a lawyer is not always necessary with divorce. At Divorce With Dignity we specialize in helping you avoid court when possible and find an amicable solution to your divorce. Contact a Provider near you to learn how. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce Process --- ### [Is No Fault Divorce The Right Type For You?](https://dwdignity.com/is-no-fault-divorce-the-right-type-for-you/) **Published:** September 2, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** No-fault divorce is the quickest, easiest and least complicated way to dissolve a marriage, but that doesn’t mean it is always right for every couple. Before you decide to file this way, it is important to at least consider all the options, discuss them with your attorney, and make sure that is really the way you want to go. **Content:** No-fault divorce is the quickest, easiest and least complicated way to dissolve a marriage, but that doesn’t mean it is always right for every couple. Before you decide to file this way, it is important to at least consider all the options, discuss them with your attorney, and make sure that is really the way you want to go. ### Divorce is never easy. Bringing a once loving relationship to an end can take a real toll on both partners, not to mention any children that might be involved. Adding in legal finagling on top of that doesn’t make it any easier. That’s why you need to carefully consider the types of divorce and make the right decision for everyone. ### When it comes to divorce, no fault is just one option. This option doesn’t require either partner to assign specific blame, nor even to designate a particular reason for the split. With no fault divorce, both sides simply declare irreconcilable differences and agree to part amicably, with no lengthy wrangling over property division or child custody, keeping the legal work to a minimum. ### There are three other main types of divorce, however: absolute, limited and uncontested. Each of these is a little trickier and will require some legal maneuvering. They are often more rancorous as well, which is why it’s always good to avoid them if at all possible. If you are going to file for one of these types of divorce, it is particularly important to have a good divorce lawyer on your side. - Unlike no fault divorce, **absolute divorce** may require the assigning of a particular cause for the breakup. As its names suggests, it brings a marriage to an absolute end in the eyes of the law, dissolving any legal bond holding a couple together. - **Limited divorce** is one of the more complicated types of divorce, as it involves effecting a separation between partners for a certain amount of time. Usually couples file for limited divorce when they don’t have automatic grounds for an absolute divorce. A limited divorce requires couples to live completely separately for a specified amount of time, allowing them the opportunity to get any financial or personal issues resolved before finalizing. - **Uncontested divorce** is actually quite simple and is very similar to no fault divorce. This is basically a fast-track form of divorce for couples that have already come to an agreement on issues like child and spousal support, property division and other matters. Because uncontested divorce can happen so quickly, it may be easy for one or the other partner to unwittingly waiver some of his/her rights in the process. For this reason, it is important to have a qualified attorney handling everything. Now that you have a better idea of the various types of divorce, hopefully that will help you to decide which course is best for you. Remember that there are always alternatives to divorce as well that may be a better option for you. So make sure you consider all of the available choices before making a decision. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** collaborative, marriage, no fault divorce, separation --- ### [Should I Get A Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/should-i-get-a-divorce/) **Published:** March 11, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** If you are asking yourself this question, the first thing I want to tell you is to not rush into divorce. Divorce is a very serious step with serious consequences. Please take the time to really evaluate your feelings and the state of your marriage. **Content:** If you are asking yourself this question, the first thing I want to tell you is to not rush into divorce. Divorce is a very serious step with serious consequences. Please take the time to really evaluate your feelings and the state of your marriage. Make sure you do everything possible to save your marriage if there is any chance it can improve and become a healthy relationship. If you haven’t tried marriage counseling yet, please consider it. Although I am the founder of [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/), our goal is not to advocate divorce; rather, we are here to help those who decide divorce is the best option for them to achieve that in the most peaceful and dignified way. Some of the questions you may want to contemplate when trying to decide if you should get a divorce are: **1. Was it ever a true marriage?** Sometimes people who marry never actually form a true “us” relationship. They continue to think and behave as two individuals intent on meeting their own needs. For a marriage to be a real union, the couple must see themselves as a duo who have committed to work together in the best interest of the relationship. **2. Do you still have feelings of love toward each other?** If so, then you really should take steps to work on your relationship. You don’t want to rush into divorce and come to regret it when you realize you made a mistake. If, on the other hand, there is a lack of emotional closeness in your marriage and you are able to say in your heart that you no longer love your spouse, maybe it’s time to part ways. **3. Have you thought about the negative consequences of divorce?** Divorce will create changes in your lifestyle, social life, and financial situation. If you have children, they will have emotional reactions to the divorce and their lives will change. There will likely be times of loneliness and insecurity for you, and perhaps changes to your self-esteem. And you have to be able to emotionally let go of your ex-partner. Are you ready for these changes? **4. What have you and your spouse done to try to save the marriage?** Have you been to counseling, together and/or individually, with no improvement to your relationship? Does your spouse refuse to get counseling to try to save the marriage? Have you yourself given up and no longer want to try? If you’ve done all you can and it’s still not working, then maybe it’s time to consider divorce. **5. Does your spouse have addiction issues?** If your spouse has continuing problems with substance abuse, not only will he/she be unable to focus on the marriage, it could be a dangerous situation for you and your children. **6. Has your spouse been abusive to you and/or your children?** Abusive behavior is not caused by other people – it is the sole responsibility of the abuser who will use any excuse to exhibit this type of behavior that is part of their character. Realistically, you should not expect the abuser to change, no matter how much he/she promises it will never happen again. The best choice in this case is to leave and get a divorce. If after careful consideration you decide that divorce is your best option, we can help you achieve it with the respect and dignity you deserve. We are here to support you through the process of divorce in the most cost-effective and peaceful way possible. Please [visit our website to find a Divorce With Dignity facilitator near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** can I save my marriage, consequences of divorce, divorce assistance, peaceful divorce, Reasons For Divorce, should i get a divorce, when to divorce --- ### [The Top 5 Things to Include In Your Marital Settlement Agreement](https://dwdignity.com/the-top-5-things-to-include-in-your-marital-settlement-agreement/) **Published:** June 24, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Other than the death of a parent or family member, going through a divorce is probably the toughest thing you will deal with in your lifetime. Let’s face it, it’s not a happy time for most people, even though it should be (but that’s a story for another article). **Content:** Other than the death of a parent or family member, going through a divorce is probably the toughest thing you will deal with in your lifetime. Let’s face it, it’s not a happy time for most people, even though it should be (but that’s a story for another article). A divorce ends in one of two ways. Either the parties settle amongst themselves and sign a contract commonly known as a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) or Property Settlement Agreement (PSA). Or, the parties don’t settle and go through a trial and the court decides all the issues in a Judgment of Divorce. In either case, all the terms of the parties’ post marital life are spelled out. When I say terms, I mean everything from alimony to custody to who gets what financial accounts. When a court decides, it only includes the main points in the Judgment of Divorce and that leaves a lot left out, which often leads to the parties appearing in court later fighting over things. However, when people settle and draft an MSA, it typically is more detailed, including language that covers items that seem obvious and unnecessary at the time. This is because the less detailed the agreement is, the more likely the parties will likely be back in court and fighting over something that either is not in the agreement or is in the agreement, but not clearly written and up for interpretation. If you don’t have an attorney and are representing yourself, I highly suggest you have a professional draft and review any settlement agreement before the court finalizes it. That money will be well spent. Once the MSA is executed, it is very difficult to change later. A complete MSA can easily be 50+ pages. That’s because this document is your Bible for your post marital life. It outlines everything both parties are supposed to do and when. If there is ever a question about who does what, you look in the MSA and hope the answer is clearly defined. Otherwise, back to court you go and nobody wants that. That being said here are five items that every settlement agreement should contain. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but rather is meant to get you thinking. ##### 1. **Clear Alimony provisions.** Not every divorce includes alimony, but the ones that do need to have very clearly written language that outlines who pays what, for how long and when. If there are any circumstances where alimony might cease, or change before the agreed upon end date, those instances need to be clearly defined in the MSA. Anything that may affect alimony must be clearly defined. If it’s not, that is inviting what is called Post Judgment Litigation, when the parties can’t agree on what is supposed to happen and go back to court. ##### 2. **Custody Issues Through Emancipation.** When children are involved, then custody has to be resolved in the MSA. It’s not as simple as saying Mom has custody of the children and Dad can see them 4 days a week. Every state has it’s own laws on custody and when a child is emancipated (no longer required to be supported by the parents). Any MSA worth the paper it’s written on must include painfully detailed language that covers almost every conceivable scenario that may involve the children after the divorce. That means the parenting time schedule, including who picks up the children at what times and the location. Include language about the procedure to follow when one parent cannot make the scheduled time. This is even more important for parents who have trouble communicating with each other. Include language about summer vacation and college. If the parents both agree NOT to contribute to the college expenses, then that should be clearly defined in the MSA. Some states have laws that practically force parents to contribute, but if both parents agree not to, that should be explained in the papers. Include child support provisions and how the amount of support was calculated. Explain what that number includes and what it does not. For example, does the child support include camp or extra-curricular expenses? The more detailed you can be the better. ##### 3. **Procedure For Post Divorce Litigation.** When the parties don’t agree on what the MSA says after the divorce is finalized, the MSA should lay out what the procedure is to resolve the dispute. For example, if one party doesn’t pay something in accordance with the MSA, before everyone goes to court to fight it out, the MSA might have a mediation provision that requires the parties to attend mediation and attempt to resolve their dispute before going to court. ##### 4. **Division of Property.** Some people have a lot of personal property that needs to be distributed and others not so much. Either way, you need to outline who gets what and when it should be delivered and the manner of delivery. Make a list of every item of property and put the person’s name that gets that item next to the item description. Include this list in the MSA. ##### 5. **Allocation of Retirement Accounts.** Most people have retirement accounts that need to be accounted for in the MSA. If each spouse keeps his/her accounts, that should be clearly explained. List each account and the last four digits of the account number. Explain the procedure for how each account will be distributed. This is most commonly done by what is called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). Each company has it’s own procedure for doing this, so do some research before the MSA is finalized and incorporate that procedure in the language. *Author Bio:* *Jason Levoy is an attorney and the founder of Your Divorce Resource, which teaches people how to represent the*mselves in court and throughout their divorce. You can find him at http://jasonlevoy.com. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce, Divorce Advice, Divorce Process --- ### [Types of Lawyers: Not All Attorneys Are Created Equal](https://dwdignity.com/types-of-lawyers-not-all-attorneys-are-created-equal/) **Published:** August 19, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Types of lawyers may not be something that most people consider, but if you are facing a legal action like divorce, it is imperative that you choose the right attorney, rather than just any attorney. **Content:** Types of lawyers may not be something that most people consider, but if you are facing a legal action like divorce, it is imperative that you choose the right attorney, rather than just any attorney. Much like going to a specialist for a medical problem, you’ll want to seek the attorney best suited to handle your particular legal issues, no matter what they might be. So what types of lawyers are there? You’d be surprised at how many specialties there are under the very large umbrella of basic law. There are lawyers for everything from real estate transactions to filing bankruptcy, from suing for child custody to defending yourself against criminal charges. The type of legal business you have will dictate which type of lawyer you require. The two most widely known types of lawyers are ***criminal attorneys*** and ***personal injury attorneys***. Criminal attorneys defend an individual who has been accused of breaking the law. They can appear in court to argue everything from a disturbing the peace citation to murder. Personal injury attorneys are the ones you see advertising on TV. They take on cases where individuals have been hurt in an accident or due to medical malpractice or similar situations. But when asking what types of lawyers are there, this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are also lawyers who spend more time in the boardroom than the courtroom. Corporate attorneys, bankruptcy attorneys, estate attorneys and tax lawyers deal with business related law or laws that govern personal finance, settling an estate or dealing with the IRS. Laws that focus on interpersonal relationships belong in a category known as family law. Family lawyers can handle everything from adoption to child custody and everything in between. These are also the types of lawyers that deal with marital relationships, including drafting pre-nuptial agreements and handling the intricacies of divorce. Of course, no couple ever wants to consider the possibility of divorce and hopefully there will be other options you can choose to avoid this. If no other option is working for you and you are forced to face up to the reality of divorce, then you’ll want to do your homework before proceeding legally. The first step is to ask what types of lawyers are there and find the right one to handle your case. Because divorce can be so difficult as it is, you don’t want to exacerbate the problem by hiring the wrong kind of attorney. The types of lawyers that you want to reach out to are those who are well versed in the intricacies of divorce law and are ready to provide you with helpful advice and expert guidance. That way, even though you are going through a difficult time you’ll be able to rest easier knowing that you are in good hands. Divorce is never easy but the right lawyer can help to make the process go as smoothly as possible, something that can be extremely important for all parties involved. If you are considering divorce, be sure to take your time and make the right choice of attorney. Remember that this one simple decision could impact the rest of your life and the lives of your loved ones, so choose wisely. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** types of lawyers, what types of lawyers are there --- ### [What To Do About Your Estate Plans After Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/estate-plans-divorce/) **Published:** February 11, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** There are a lot of financial decisions to be made in a divorce, and one very important one is what to do about your estate plans. We asked Jennifer Cowan, an estate planning attorney in San Rafael, CA, to share information with us about this topic. **Content:** There are a lot of financial decisions to be made in a divorce, and one very important one is what to do about your estate plans. We asked [Jennifer Cowan](http://cowanlawoffices.com/home), an estate planning attorney in San Rafael, CA, to share information with us about this topic. Jennifer holds an LL.M in Taxation (graduating with Honors) with an emphasis in estate and gift taxation from Golden Gate University School of Law. I know it is common during a divorce to be so overwhelmed that estate plans often get overlooked. But it really is something you want to start paying attention to during the divorce process. Sometimes divorce takes awhile, so don’t wait for it to be finalized. If you have a trust or a will already in place, the first step is to revoke it and then redo it naming a different agent (unless your want your spouse to still be your agent). If you don’t have a trust or a will, then you’ll probably want to create one. In California for example, if no estate plan exists, the spouse will automatically inherit any community property and half of all personal property. If this is not what you want to happen, then I would advise you to create a trust or will that clearly states your wishes. Divorce lawyers will usually recommend that their clients see another lawyer who specializes in estate planning when they want to create or revoke/change a trust or will. There are specific rules to follow about what you can and cannot do with regard to a trust while going through a divorce, and an estate planning attorney will be your best resource for getting things done properly. For example, you can rename your agent and rename your next-in-line. You cannot, however, change beneficiaries until after the divorce is finalized. You cannot fund your trust during the divorce, but you can state that whatever assets your receive as part of the divorce agreement will go to the trust. If you have previously named your spouse as your agent for a Durable Power of Attorney for health care, you may want to consider whether or not you still want him/her to make health care decisions for you if you become incapacitated. If not, you should redo the legal paperwork to name someone else as your agent. This is something you do not have to wait until after the divorce to do. There’s so much to think about and so many decisions to make in the divorce process. I get it. But these estate planning and powers of attorney issues need your attention, too. Just start thinking about them, and then get yourself ready to take care of them. You can learn more about estate planning and divorce by visiting [my website](https://dwdignity.com/). The professional divorce facilitators who are part of the [Divorce With Dignity Network](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) understand that divorce can be overwhelming and distressing. We are here not only to help you with the logistics of the divorce process, but to provide you with referrals to other professionals who can assist you with various aspects of divorce, such as estate planning attorneys, counselors, coaches, etc. With this holistic approach, we can help you get through your divorce with the support and dignity you deserve. Come [visit our website](https://dwdignity.com/) to see how. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** divorce legal services, Durable Power of Attorney in divorce, estate planning and divorce, legal considerations in divorce, legal help for divorce --- ### [Why Do People Get Divorced?](https://dwdignity.com/why-do-people-get-divorced/) **Published:** February 18, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** When people get married, they’re usually thinking about love, harmony and joyful hope for the future. Certainly not divorce. So for those couples who have decided to divorce, what happened between the honeymoon and that decision? Why do people get divorced? **Content:** When people get married, they’re usually thinking about love, harmony and joyful hope for the future. Certainly not divorce. So for those couples who have decided to divorce, what happened between the honeymoon and that decision? Why **do** people get divorced? Of course there are many different reasons that people decide to part ways. But I think three very common reasons are: - unrealistic expectations - low tolerance and inflexibility - poor communication **Unrealistic Expectations** Each person going into a marriage has certain expectations of what it will be like, and often make a lot of assumptions. Unfortunately, not many people discuss their expectations in detail with their partners prior to the marriage and the reality of marriage can come as quite a shock. This can lead to arguments, hurt feelings, and even anger that their high expectations are not being met. There seems to be a pervasive belief that marriage will automatically bring happiness, and if that doesn’t happen, then the marriage is no good and wasn’t meant to be. When a person’s spouse does not behave as expected or imagined, disillusionment can take over. Instead of taking a good look at the situation and asking what they can do to make it better, they might throw up their hands and call it quits. It takes work to make a successful marriage – it does not just happen. **Low Tolerance and Inflexibility** To many people, “compromise” is a dirty word. They view it as weakness and giving in. Actually, the word is a combination of the prefix “com-” which means “together” and the word “promise”. So compromise means to make promises together, to agree to settle differences by mutual concessions. But if one or both of the partners want to always have things their own way, they are headed for trouble. Good marriage partners are tolerant of each other’s differences and are able to be flexible enough to compromise when it doesn’t violate their moral principles. **Poor Communication** “Well if you don’t know, I’m certainly not going to tell you!” I remember hearing this line on several TV comedy shows when a couple was fighting about something and it always got a laugh. But when people feel this way in real life, it is nothing to laugh about. Your partner can’t guess what you want from them, nor can they always intuit what you are having a problem with. Unless you are able to express your feelings and needs to one another, the marriage will suffer. And communication skills involve more than just talking to your spouse; it entails true listening. As Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Also, I think a lot of spouses avoid real communication because they are afraid it will cause pain to themselves or the other person. Maybe they don’t want to hear the truth they fear. But if you can’t communicate openly and honestly, you can’t solve your marital problems. As the founder of [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/), I can tell you that neither I nor anyone in the Divorce With Dignity Network advocate divorce. We hope that couples will try all they can do to save their marriages. But sometimes after all efforts fail to resolve basic issues, divorce becomes the best option. When that is the case, our goal is to help people get through that difficult transition in the most peaceful and supported way possible. To learn how we can be of assistance, please [visit our website](https://dwdignity.com/) and [contact a Divorce With Dignity professional](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) near you. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** divorce assistance, marital communication, marriage expectations, Reasons For Divorce, when to divorce, why do people get divorced --- ### [6 Tips to Make the Holidays Great While Coping With Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/6-tips-to-make-the-holidays-great-while-coping-with-divorce/) **Published:** December 21, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Your experience of life is — more often than not — determined by your attitude. I was one of those kids who hated high school. But I got tired of hating school. Just before my Junior year, I decided that — come hell or high water — this was going to be my best year yet. And guess what — it was! Ironically enough, **Content:** # 6 Tips to Make the Holidays Great While Coping With Divorce Dec 21, 2015 | [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/) **Categories:** Blog **Tags:** coping with divorce, divorce holidays, emotional effects of divorce, holidays and divorce --- ### [Amicable Divorce: What Is It? Is It Even Possible?](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-what-is-it-is-it-even-possible/) **Published:** December 30, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Over the last several years, I’ve posted various articles about what it means to have an amicable divorce, and whether achieving this is even possible. The word “amicable” means to be “characterized by friendly goodwill” or “peaceable”. When couples decide that it’s time for a divorce, they might not be feeling a lot of friendly goodwill toward each other. Is it possible to overcome the conflicts and have a peaceful divorce? **Content:** # Amicable Divorce: What Is It? Is It Even Possible? Dec 30, 2015 | [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/), [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/) **Categories:** Blog, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, collaborative divorce, divorce aggrement --- ### [Annulment vs. Divorce: Is Divorce Really The Answer?](https://dwdignity.com/annulment-vs-divorce-is-divorce-really-the-answer/) **Published:** November 4, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The question of annulment vs. divorce is one that many couples face every day. It can be extremely painful to end a marriage no matter which way you choose to go about it, but the choice you make should be well thought out and agreed upon by both parties in order to ensure the best possible outcome. **Content:** # Annulment vs. Divorce: Is Divorce Really The Answer? Nov 4, 2015 | [Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/category/amicable-divorce-and-conflict-resolutio/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution **Tags:** per mediation, Types Of Mediation --- ### [Attorney or Mediation: The Best Way To Go Through A Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/attorney-or-mediation-the-best-way-to-go-through-a-divorce/) **Published:** October 7, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** How to file for divorce is one of the first things couples that suddenly find themselves at an emotional impasse may wonder about. The answer may be more complicated than you think. There is actually more than one option open to couples who are considering divorce and it may be worth their while to weigh each one before they choose to go forward. **Content:** # Attorney or Mediation: The Best Way To Go Through A Divorce Oct 7, 2015 | [Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/category/amicable-divorce-and-conflict-resolutio/), [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce, Help With Divorce, mediation --- ### [California Courts: Self-Help Resources For Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/california-courts-self-help-resources-for-divorce/) **Published:** November 11, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Getting a divorce is an intimidating prospect. It can be an expensive one as well. For those who cannot afford attorney fees, there are ways to get the divorce without hiring lawyers to litigate in court. **Content:** # California Courts: Self-Help Resources For Divorce Nov 11, 2015 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/) **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** divorce aggrement, Divorce Without Lawyers, Do It Yourself Divorce, Self Help Resource For Divorce --- ### [Common Reasons For Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/common-reasons-for-divorce/) **Published:** September 30, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The reasons for divorce can vary from couple to couple. Sometimes it’s as simple as realizing that you just can’t live together comfortably; other times it’s something much more serious such as once spouse cheating on the other. **Content:** # Common Reasons For Divorce Sep 30, 2015 | [Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/category/amicable-divorce-and-conflict-resolutio/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution **Tags:** divorce, Reasons For Divorce --- ### [Divorce – What To Do With That Spare Ring](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-what-to-do-with-that-spare-ring/) **Published:** April 6, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** During divorce proceedings, there always has to be an assessment of assets and debts so they can be divided up properly. Sometimes people just want an appraisal to determine the value of items to be included in the divorce agreement. **Content:** During divorce proceedings, there always has to be an assessment of assets and debts so they can be divided up properly. Sometimes people just want an appraisal to determine the value of items to be included in the divorce agreement. Sometimes there is a desire to sell jewelry they no longer want, such as a wedding ring or engagement ring. So what can you do with that “spare ring”? Mark Watson, of [Watson and Son](http://www.watsonandson.com/index.php) in San Francisco (415-986-3303), is someone we recommend to our [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) clients in the Bay Area who wish to have their jewelry appraised or sold. We asked him to give us some information that such clients would find useful. **Mark, please tell us about your company and what you do.** We specialize in buying and appraising jewelry, gemstones, watches, clocks and silver. Our priority is toward the buying; however, we also will take items on consignment and that can maximize your investment. We do the appraisals while you watch, whether in our office or in the comfort of your own home. Your presence is beneficial both because you often have little clues about the piece that assist us in the appraisal, and at the same time you will usually learn new details about your jewelry. We document each item with thorough descriptions and photographs, and then securely archive your appraisal indefinitely for future retrieval. From a service point of view in the circumstance of divorce, we do fair market value appraisals to establish a value on any given property that can potentially be realized in a reasonable amount of time – i.e., “willing buyer/willing seller”. This can give both parties values to be divided for an equitable settlement, or allow you to proceed with a liquidation. If you have good information, you can make good decisions. **Do you get a lot of appraisal/selling requests from people going through divorce?** Oh yes. I especially like getting referrals from Divorce With Dignity. Their clients have come to them because they want to do things in a peaceful, dignified way, and that’s the type of person I want to work with. I have seen the other side, too, as an expert witness in divorce court where people are scraping and scratching, and for what? Afterward I always feel like I need to take a hot shower. **Do you buy wedding rings and engagement rings?** The engagement ring is usually the more valuable item and has the least stigma from a re-sale point of view, as it is all about the center stone. The wedding ring, on the other hand, is these days often a diamond band and hard to resize. In addition, a wedding ring has a tinge of cursed failure – bad karma. However, we can often reconfigure it into another piece of jewelry, such as a pendant. After all, it’s not the diamonds’ fault! No need to get rid of them altogether. **What about consignment? How does that work?** Consignment is a gentler way of maximizing your investment. You can usually get a higher price if you are willing to wait for the right buyer – patience is profit. It’s not as immediate as selling to us, but I will often give a backup price for an item on consignment, giving the client the option to sell sooner if they wish. When you place an item on consignment with us, it will be fully insured while it is here. No lot is too large or item too small for our consideration. With us, your privacy is protected. We have a world-wide network to discreetly sell your items. Other options will not be as private. If you put your jewelry on ebay, your personal business is blasted out to the public, and public auction can be a public humiliation. We offer a more dignified and confidential way to sell your items. **Do you have any suggestions or advice for divorcing couples wishing to use your services?** Be patient, don’t forget to breathe, and if you have children it’s all about them! Thanks, Mark, for informing us about the options for what to do with that spare ring during or after a divorce! Our divorce facilitators at [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) understand there are many facets to dealing with a divorce besides getting the divorce paperwork done. That’s why we take a holistic approach to helping our clients through divorce. In addition to helping them with the legal papers and working out a divorce agreement that is best for all parties, we also provide referrals to many other types of professionals, such as [Mark Watson](http://www.watsonandson.com/index.php), who can help with different aspects related to going through a divorce. To learn more about how we can help, please visit our [website](https://dwdignity.com/) and [contact a Divorce With Dignity professional](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) in your area. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** engagement ring after divorce, gemstone appraisals, jewelry appraisal, ring appraisal, wedding ring after divorce --- ### [Divorce Without Court: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-without-court-ben-affleck-and-jennifer-garner/) **Published:** October 28, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** After 10 years of marriage, Hollywood couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced they will be divorcing. The following joint statement was released on June 30, 2015, one day after they celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary. **Content:** After 10 years of marriage, Hollywood couple[ Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced they will be divorcing](http://www.people.com/article/ben-affleck-jennifer-garner-split). The following joint statement was released on June 30, 2015, one day after they celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary. “After much thought and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children whose privacy we ask to be respected during this difficult time. This will be our only comment on this private family matter. Thank you for understanding.” It was also announced that rather than litigating in divorce court, the couple has decided to use the services of a neutral divorce mediator to work out an agreement regarding custody issues and property division. Affleck and Garner will share joint custody of their three children: Violet (9 years old), Seraphina (6 years old), and Samuel (3 years old). They will be co-parenting, and sources say that Affleck will be living on their property in a different building. They said they are choosing mediation because they believe it will be in the best interests of their children. We at [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) also believe a non-litigated, amicable divorce with mediation (if needed) is in the best interest of all parties, especially children. When mediation is used, the couple meets with a trained, neutral third party who will facilitate discussions to help them reach a divorce agreement together. If an agreement is reached, then it will be put into writing and filed with the court. The terms of the divorce agreement then become the court’s orders. The advantages of this approach are numerous; some of these are:• Less contention and animosity - Less emotionally difficult on the children and the parents - More privacy (mediation records are private, court records are not) - The couple decides on the terms of the divorce agreement, not the courts - People who have had a say in the terms of the agreement are more likely to follow them than if they had been imposed by a judge - The divorce process is completed faster - It’s a lot less costly than litigation If you are on the threshold of divorce, we advise you to not rush into hiring a lawyer to start court proceedings. Rather, we encourage you to learn about other options that may be better for you, and for everyone involved. [Contact a Divorce With Dignity representative in your area](https://dwdignity.com/find-a-provider/), and let us explain the divorce process and how we can help you achieve a peaceful and fair divorce in a cost-effective and dignified way. For divorce advice, [visit our website to find a Divorce With Dignity professional near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner divorce, Divorce Advice, divorce agreement, divorce court, Divorce Process, mediation --- ### [Don’t Confuse Your Divorce Legal Professional with Your Financial Advisor!](https://dwdignity.com/dont-confuse-your-divorce-legal-professional-with-your-financial-advisor/) **Published:** March 16, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Confusing your divorce legal professional with your financial advisor can be an expensive mistake. While an attorney or mediator can help you navigate the many legal aspects of separating property, a financial advisor can help you plan your future as a single adult. **Content:** Confusing your divorce legal professional with your financial advisor can be an expensive mistake. While an attorney or mediator can help you navigate the many legal aspects of separating property, a financial advisor can help you plan your future as a single adult. They can help you save money and time throughout the process of divorce, helping to ensure you are making sound financial decisions now and for the future. Most divorces end up being about children and money, when you leave the emotional connection out. Marriage is a contract that legally binds the partnership you embarked on. Unfortunately, there are many valid emotional aspects to it that make this separation very challenging. Lawyers and other legal professionals are available to help separate the emotional aspects of dividing property, while financial advisors can help separate the emotional aspects in all areas of your financial future. The number one mistake women make in divorce is letting their emotions run the show. Men and women deal with conflict and separation of partnerships differently. Once it is clear the path to divorce is laid, men will often move very quickly from emotional upset into winning the deal, while women let their feelings grab the wheel. Divorce is emotional, so it is even more important they surround themselves with stable, rational and compassionate professional support. Many women may find they need to start a new financial advisory relationship when they are getting divorced. Naturally, the best time to do this is when considering divorce vs. when you are in the midst of it, but any time is better than none. A financial advisor can help you 1. See the future more clearly – not what you can get or take from the marriage but what you will need to sustain and take care of yourself in the years to come, and the actions you need to take to get there. 2. Ask the important questions around assets and planning that may or may not have been considered in your marriage. 3. Provide knowledgeable financial advice, education and resources to give you confidence in moving forward. 4. Help remove the emotional currency involved in separating a partnership without the conflict of interest of getting paid by the hour to dissolve your marriage. If you have children, naturally they are at the head of the table when it comes to considerations and settlements in divorce. The financial aspects of raising children, providing a good quality of life, education and designing their future can be aided with the knowledge of an experienced financial advisor. Having your financial advisor and your attorney work together can bring optimal results that help bring a sense of organization and calm to an emotionally charged situation. Together they can help you avoid pitfalls resulting from poor planning or lack of knowledge. Some things you will want to consider are: 1. Childcare, education and welfare – now and in the future. 2. Temporary maintenance to help you get started on your new life –having access to cash. 3. Knowledge of the family finances, income and investments –Review or obtain insurance to protect your future and engage an estate planner. 4. Discovering any debt that needs to be addressed (sometimes this is hard to uncover – start with a credit report). There are many things in life that aren’t fair; it’s how you handle them that make the difference. How you handle your money matters now and even more in the future. Realizing that your standard of living will change regardless of how much you have is critical in accepting divorce. Once you do, you can be proactive and actually take charge of your financial future. This could even lead to more confidence than you ever had in your marriage or your life. *Zoe Sexton is Director of Marketing at Rosenblum – Silverman – Sutton, a women-owned investment firm in San Francisco. You may contact Zoe at zsexton@rssic.com or [www.rssic.com](https://dwdignity.com/dont-confuse-your-divorce-legal-professional-with-your-financial-advisor/www.rssic.com) to schedule a complementary portfolio review. Phone: 415-771-4500* **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** divorce and money, divorce finances, divorce financial advisor --- ### [Going through Divorce Mediation? 3 Tips to Keep It Smooth and Drama-free!](https://dwdignity.com/going-through-divorce-mediation-3-tips-to-keep-it-smooth-and-drama-free/) **Published:** December 16, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** ## Are you going through divorce mediation and are worried about the process being negative and acrimonious? What you might not realize is that it doesn’t have to be either of those things. You and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse have the power to make this process smooth and free of drama. Read on to learn how to make divorce mediation as emotionally neutral as possible. ### Agree on ground rules Divorce mediation works very well from the outset for some people because they went into the process with ground rules in effect. Take the example of Kristin and Stefan. The couple divorced after five years of marriage. When they went through divorce mediation, they wrote a mission statement in which they agreed to work respectfully as partners to maintain a loving and stable environment for their young son. ### Leave anger out of it The goal of divorce mediation is not to make the other party pay for the wrongs you believe he or she has committed against you. Rather, the aim is to settle the issues at stake in an emotionally neutral manner. When you go in with a great deal of anger, divorce mediation is doomed from the start. It’s difficult to abandon your hurt. However, in order to make divorce mediation successful, you’ll need to do just that. ### Put your family’s interests first If you have children, divorce can be even more stressful. Having kids means you have to settle issues of custody, visitation and child support. Discussions about those three topics can quickly become heated. An important factor in making divorce mediation successful (as well as drama-free) is agreeing at the beginning to put the children’s interests first. Before you get ready to argue about a particular point, ask yourself this: Is this within the best interest of my child/children? Will it lead to a better, healthier relationship between us? Am I going to fight about this issue because this is something that I want, or is it going to be what’s best for them? ### Is it right for you? Mediation is not for everyone. But everyone should at least consider it. The success stories speak for themselves. Countless couples went into mediation with nothing but vitriol and spite, and left with a solid agreement that empowered them to move on to the next phase of their lives. So, if you’re facing a divorce and expecting a genuine battle, you may want to talk to a divorce lawyer about mediation. It may save you the high-stress and high-drama that goes with settling in court. **Author Bio:** [Fine & Associates Professional Corporation](http://www.torontodivorcelaw.com/divorce-mediation.html) is a well-respected Toronto law firm that prides itself on providing quality, personal service at reasonable rates. The firm’s lawyers practice divorce and family law exclusively, and are experienced in all types of cases, including but not limited to child support, child custody, and divorce mediation. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** divorce help, mediation, tips --- ### [Going Through The Mediation Process Can Make Divorce Less Painful](https://dwdignity.com/going-through-the-mediation-process-can-make-divorce-less-painful/) **Published:** January 27, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Divorce is never easy, that goes without saying, but there are ways to make it a little less painful for everyone involved. One of these is undertaking the mediation process. Mediation can be a great way to ease both partners through the difficult journey that signals the end of a once loving marriage. Of course, the divorce process is not always a smooth one. Unfortunately, many times divorce can be acrimonious, with bad feelings on both sides, and that can lead to fighting and harsh behavior which affects more than just the couple themselves. Everyone around them, including friends and loved ones, can find themselves dealing with fall out and it is particularly difficult on the children of divorcing couples. That’s why it is always recommended that you consider every option and do whatever you can to keep your divorce from becoming difficult and ugly. The actual conditions surrounding a divorce can do a lot to dictate the path that the proceedings take, but whether you opt for a traditional divorce with specific reasons stated or go the “no fault” route, you’ll need to work out your differences somehow and the mediation process can be the answer. No matter what the specific causes, all divorces have one thing in common: a breakdown of communication. Sometimes those communication issues are on the surface level, with simple things like failing to take the other person’s needs into consideration, and other times they go far deeper, like serious trust issues stemming from an incident of adultery. The more serious the issues, the more difficult the divorce process is bound to be, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still work through them. Mediation is designed to help bring the two parties together and allow them to work through their issues and hopefully re-establish the lines of communication. The mediation process can take various forms, from facilitative to evaluative to transformative, but the end goal is always to get both parties talking to each other and listening to each other and, ultimately, coming to some form of mutual agreement. When handled properly, mediation can make the entire divorce process easier. Instead of just screaming and yelling at each other or not communicating at all, it is far more productive and healthy when both parties feel like their side is being stated and heard. A trained mediator can help to facilitate this and make suggestions for ways that issues can be resolved in a positive manner. In some instances, the mediator can give legal advice, letting each side know how their case would likely be handled in court. In other cases it is just a matter of asking the right questions and getting the issues out on the table so that they can be addressed. In every form of the mediation process, however, the ultimate responsibility for making decisions and ironing out an agreement remains with the couple. This can be empowering and healing for both sides. The important thing to remember is that divorce does not have to be a battle; it can be a conversation between two rational adults. In fact, this is the most productive way to go about it and if you can manage it, you should be able to make the whole process a lot less difficult and pain free. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** divorce, mediation attorney --- ### [How To Survive The Holidays While Going Through a Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-survive-the-holidays-while-going-through-a-divorce/) **Published:** November 18, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. **Content:** Going through a divorce is stressful enough, but when the holidays roll around the stress can be greatly intensified. Who will the children spend the holidays with? How will you cope with the emphasis on family during this time of year, when yours is broken up? If you are newly divorced or going through the process of divorce, you may wonder how you are going to survive the holidays this year. Feelings of loneliness, loss, and sadness are all too common in this situation. At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/), we understand going through a divorce can be difficult, especially during the holidays. We’ve been there. And we have some suggestions about how to survive the holidays with a positive outlook despite your divorce. #### Celebrate with your children Reassure your children that holiday celebrations will continue, but they will be different. They may be spending Thanksgiving Day with one parent, and a second Thanksgiving on Friday or Saturday with the other parent. Same with Hannukah, Christmas, or Kwanza. Holiday rituals and traditions may need to be updated for your new circumstances – brainstorm together for ideas to create new traditions. #### Celebrate with other family members Yes, you are going through a divorce, but you still have a family. Spend time with some relatives you enjoy and bask in their support and comfort. #### Celebrate with your friends Although you might feel like laying low because you’re not in a celebratory mood during or after a divorce, keep in mind that being with friends can boost your spirits and take your mind off negative aspects of life. Go ahead and accept that invitation to Thanksgiving dinner or holiday party, or invite people over to your house for a potluck. #### Celebrate with others as a volunteer Sometimes doing something to cheer up others can have the same effect on you. Volunteer to serve meals at a community Thanksgiving meal, or to help with a party at a senior center, hospital, or homeless shelter. Or, you might help with wrapping or distributing holiday presents for needy children. #### Celebrate with yourself Do something special for yourself – take time to do things that make you happy. Schedule a massage or a spa day. Take a walk in a beautiful nature area. Explore a good bookstore and spend some time reading in a cozy coffee house. Taking care of yourself and doing something that makes you feel nurtured is a great way to show love for yourself. You can give yourself a gift. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something you’ve been wanting for awhile – a new book, flowers for your table, or maybe a nap! Give yourself permission to pamper yourself during this stressful time – sleep more, relax more. Why not take a weekend getaway, or explore a local attraction you’ve always meant to see? In conclusion, it’s important to remember that divorce does not mean no more happy holidays. Things will be different, certainly, but you can make a fresh start and establish new traditions to enjoy. Be kind to yourself. You will get through the holidays in spite of divorce, and they can still be merry and bright. If you feel you need a little extra help in learning how to survive the holidays during or after a divorce, you may want to consider joining a divorce support group, or talking with a counselor. At [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/), we not only help you get through the process of divorce, we can refer you to a support group, to a therapist who specializes in helping people deal with the emotional effects of divorce, or to a life-after-divorce coach who can help you discover how to create a new and better life. [Contact us today](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) to see how we can help you on your journey through divorce – with peace and dignity. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce And Holidays, Divorce support, going through a divorce, going through divorce, life after divorce --- ### [How To Talk With Your Kids About Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-talk-with-your-kids-about-divorce/) **Published:** January 20, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. **Content:** One of the hardest things for parents who are divorcing to do is find the best way to tell their children. We’ve asked [Jill Valenti](http://jillvalenticoach.com/), a Family Counselor & Parenting Coach, to share some ideas about how to talk with your kids about divorce. Jill has been certified to lead the Quality Parenting Program, is a co-founder of [jillvalenticoach.com](http://jillvalenticoach.com/), and currently offers a monthly support group for parents of pre-teens. ### Preparation for the Conversation Plan for both parents to be present when you talk to your kids about the divorce. Have a mutual plan on what each of you will say and how you will respond to questions. Be prepared to compartmentalize your feelings. Whatever is going on between the two of you, you MUST be able to put it all aside and behave like the adults you are for the sake of your children. This is absolutely necessary if you want the conversation with your children to go well. If one of you thinks he or she may be unable to remain calm and neutral during the discussion, it would be wise to talk with a counselor beforehand to help them be better prepared to do this. You also need to be prepared for your children’s reactions, which can include sadness, anger, fear, confusion, shame, guilt, relief, refusal to take it all in, and worry about who will take care of them. Whatever their reaction, tell yourself that you will remain calm. Resolve to keep your own emotions in check so you can focus on your children. ### During the Conversation Start by explaining to them why you are getting a divorce, without going into too much detail, and without any mention of fault or blame. Be sure to tell them that the reasons for the divorce has ***nothing*** to do with them – they are ***not*** the problem. Both of you should remind the children (repeatedly) that you love them, and that nothing that happens between Mom and Dad will ever change that. Talk to them about what will change in their lives. Explain the plans about which parent they will be living with, and how they will spend time with the parent they won’t be living with full-time anymore. If you don’t yet know all the facts about the new living situations, tell them that you are still working that out and deciding what is best. Reassure them about the things you do know, including what will not be changing. Ask them if they have any questions, and answer them as candidly as possible. But remember to answer only the immediate questions they are asking. Don’t overwhelm them with information that could give rise to negative feelings and thoughts they didn’t even have before they were mentioned. Encourage your children to express their thoughts and feelings. Reassure them that whatever they are feeling is normal and permissable, and can be talked about. Let them know that it’s okay to be angry, want to be by themselves, or cry, but that they also need to talk to you about how they are feeling inside, and what they are thinking about. Assure your children that the bad feelings they are having won’t last forever, and that there are things they can do to help themselves feel better. Name other adults (such as grandparents, aunts, uncles) by name as people they can turn to for comfort and advice. If you think it would help them to talk with a counselor, tell them you can arrange that. If they get up and leave the room, give them a few minutes break; then BOTH PARENTS should go to the room they are in and talk with them. If at any time you or your spouse start to lose emotional control, take a “time out” to regain composure, then resume the conversation when you can focus your attention on your children. ### After the Conversation Plan on having several follow-up discussions with both parents present. When you first tell your children about the divorce, it will initially be a shock and they may not be able to process everything the first time around. Later, when they’ve had time to think about it, they will probably have new questions to ask. In follow-up discussions, they will be better able to hear and understand what you are trying to get across. It’s important to tell the adults your children see regularly about your divorce plans. This would include their teachers, counselors, baby-sitters and other caregivers, and the parents of their close friends. This information will help them understand significant changes in your children’s behavior. Ask them to keep you informed about such changes so you can talk to your children about it. If they are really struggling with anger or acting out behavior, it would be a good idea to turn to a counselor or therapist for help. Jill Valenti, Family Counselor & Parenting Coach Call 415-302-0095 or email: jillvalenti@gmail.com [jillvalenticoach.com](http://jillvalenticoach.com/) Our [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) divorce facilitators are sensitive to the issues surrounding divorce. We take a holistic approach to divorce, assisting our clients not only with the divorce paperwork and court filings, but with referrals to other professionals who can help them through the complexities of divorce, such as counselors and parenting coaches like Jill Valenti. To learn more about our services, please [visit our website](https://dwdignity.com/). **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** children and divorce, Divorce And Children, how to talk to kids about divorce --- ### [Trial Separation: The First Step To Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/trial-separation-the-first-step-to-divorce/) **Published:** January 6, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Trial separation is a common step that many couples take when they begin to encounter problems in their relationship and start to consider the idea of divorce. Rather than rushing directly into a divorce. **Content:** Trial separation is a common step that many couples take when they begin to encounter problems in their relationship and start to consider the idea of divorce. Rather than rushing directly into a divorce, sometimes a legal separation or a trial separation may be suggested in order to give the couple some time apart to carefully consider their next step. Even with the use of separation, there is still no easy answer about when to get divorced. This is something that only the couple can decide for themselves. In some cases, separation can help a couple to resolve their differences and avoid divorce, in other cases it only makes their differences that much more prominent and it ends in the final dissolution of the marriage. As its name suggests, trial separation is when a couple decides on their own to try spending time apart without actually divorcing. Generally, couples enter into separation with various ground rules involving living arrangements, visitation if children are involved, financial arrangements and the mutual agreement to enter into some sort of counseling. While counseling is not a mandatory part of the process, for a couple deciding when to get divorced, it can be extremely helpful. Often, in cases of separation, the end goal is ultimately to reconcile. This may not be possible without a trained professional helping the couple to work through their differences and come to a mutual understanding. Even if divorce is the eventual end result, counseling can help to make the process easier on everyone involved. Of course trial separation can have its pros and cons. Often, when a couple takes time away from each other each partner is then able to come up for air and focus on the personal issues that may have been taking a back seat within the marriage. Relieving pressure in this way can then help the partners to come together and see each other’s side of the argument more clearly. Then too, there is the old saying that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. If you are considering when to get divorced, this can be one of the biggest indicators. If you find yourself missing your partner during the separation period, then perhaps divorce isn’t the answer. If, however, you are enjoying your time apart and don’t feel any need to get back together then perhaps it is time to end the marriage for good. Before considering trial separation, however, it is important to remember that this process can be just as difficult and stressful as divorce itself, particularly if children are involved. In fact, it can be more difficult for children to understand the idea of mom and dad still being married but being apart. This is never something that you should undertake lightly; it should only be considered if absolutely necessary. No matter what you opt to do, the ultimate decision to end your marriage in divorce cannot be answered by anyone else. You and your partner need to come to that conclusion and you should be very sure of your choice before you make it. And if you do decide to go that route then you should make every effort to keep it as peaceful and positive an experience as possible, for the good of everyone involved. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce Process **Tags:** divorce, time apart, Trial Separation --- ### [Understanding The Types of Mediation](https://dwdignity.com/understanding-the-types-of-mediation/) **Published:** December 9, 2015 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Peer mediation is a common technique used to settle many kinds of disputes, from problems in the classroom to issues in the workplace and many other cases as well. One of the areas where mediation is most commonly used is in cases of divorce. **Content:** Peer mediation is a common technique used to settle many kinds of disputes, from problems in the classroom to issues in the workplace and many other cases as well. One of the areas where mediation is most commonly used is in cases of divorce. It can often be the best way to settle disputes and help both parties reach a mutually agreeable decision about the dissolution of their marriage. The concept behind mediation is quite simple: a divorce generally springs up as the result of a conflict or disagreement between two parties. Mediation employs the use of a third party to help resolve such conflicts while allowing both parties to get their say and feel that they are being fairly treated. The different types of mediation approach the process in unique ways. ## Facilitative mediation Facilitative mediation is the most common type. In this style of mediation, the mediator listens to both sides and makes informed suggestions based on years of professional knowledge. This is similar to standard peer mediation in that the mediator works with the parties on their own level; sometimes both parties are present together, other times the mediator meets with each party separately and brings the concerns of each to the other. ## Evaluative mediation Another of the types of mediation is Evaluative mediation. In this case, the mediator has specific legal knowledge and may even be a lawyer. Again, the mediator hears the concerns of each party and gives legal advice as to how those concerns would likely stand up in court or the best way to represent them in court to work to everyone’s advantage. ## Transformative mediation In the third type of mediation, Transformative mediation, the two concerned parties meet together with the mediator and are encouraged to express their issues. Again, this has similarities to peer mediation in that the mediator helps to get each party to speak civilly and listen attentively in the hopes that the two can work out their differences together. While there are subtle differences in the various types of mediation, the basic goal is always the same: to achieve an amicable resolution of the various issues a couple may have. The heart of any divorce is conflict between the two parties and in order to make a divorce less painful, enabling them to resolve that conflict peacefully is vital. Unfortunately, our human nature can prevent us from easily reaching resolution, and that’s when peer mediation or some other kind of mediation can be very useful. Fighting tooth and nail and allowing divorce proceedings to become bitter and hateful does nobody any good and can be particularly harmful when children are involved. Mediation can help to avoid this kind of nastiness and achieve a peaceful, amicable solution for everyone involved. Though it may not be possible to avoid a divorce, that doesn’t mean that you have to let the divorce process get the best of you. There are steps you can take to keep things moving in a positive direction even as you work to bring about the end of your marriage. If you are facing a divorce, you may want to seriously consider the idea of mediation and hopefully this process can benefit you as it has so many others. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog **Tags:** divorce, listen, mediation --- ### [What Exactly Are Grounds For Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/what-exactly-are-grounds-for-divorce/) **Published:** January 13, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Grounds for divorce can take many different forms. The specific reasons will change from one couple to the next, with every instance being unique. Often, it’s just a matter of realizing that you’re not as compatible as you first thought. Other times, there are serious mitigating issues like abuse or adultery. **Content:** Grounds for divorce can take many different forms. The specific reasons will change from one couple to the next, with every instance being unique. Often, it’s just a matter of realizing that you’re not as compatible as you first thought. Other times, there are serious mitigating issues like abuse or adultery. Before you take any legal steps toward getting a divorce, you’ll need to be clear about exactly what your reasons are. Aside from the personal differences between one couple and the next, reasons for divorce can also be dictated by the laws of each state, which may also differ. No matter what the specific reasons, though, every state has two general ways that you can file: fault and no fault. As their names suggest, these options have to do with how and where blame is assigned for the breakup of the marriage. No fault divorce does away with the need for blame entirely, with both parties agreeing to dissolve the marriage without specifying fault either way. Because stating specific grounds for divorce can be difficult, this option is becoming more and more popular as it allows for a much quicker divorce ruling and a much easier distribution of marital assets. Things get trickier when you start talking about a fault divorce. In this type, specific reasons for divorce must be stated. These can include adultery, cruelty, abandonment, mental illness and criminal conviction. In some states, legal grounds may also include drug abuse, impotency and religious reasons. At other times, the grounds for divorce may not be quite so easy to establish. There are a lot of layers to any relationship, and a great deal of emotional baggage that goes with them. Sometimes, couples just fail to meet each other’s emotional needs, leaving the two of them feeling as if they can no longer get along. For this reason, filing for divorce is never an easy choice and it is one that requires much careful consideration. This is true in every case, but particularly when there are children involved. Explaining the reasons for divorce is hard enough in court; it can be nearly impossible to do so adequately to satisfy children who may be feeling scared and hurt by the whole thing. These are just some of the many issues you’ll need to deal with if you opt to file for divorce. An attorney can help from a legal standpoint, but you might also want to employ the services of a mediator to help you try and work through your differences more positively. This may be the best option for everyone involved so that the divorce does not end up causing any more pain and acrimony than necessary. No matter what the grounds for divorce and no matter whether you opt for a fault or no fault format, it doesn’t have to be the angry, spiteful process that most people think of when they hear the word divorce. The breakup of any marriage is a sad reality but it can be a lot less painful if you go about it the right way and try to be as reasonable as possible. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce Process **Tags:** acrimony, divorce, fault divorce --- ### [Interview With A Divorce With Dignity Provider](https://dwdignity.com/interview-with-a-divorce-with-dignity-provider/) **Published:** June 22, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Denise Foster, our Divorce With Dignity provider in Alameda County, CA, was recently interviewed on a radio program by Ronnie Joy, The Midlife Dating Coach. Ronnie asked Denise to talk about how she can help people who are considering amicable divorce or separation. **Content:** [Denise Foster](https://dwdignity.com/alameda-county-divorce-with-dignity/), our [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) provider in Alameda County, CA, was recently interviewed on a radio program by [Ronnie Joy](https://dwdignity.com/), The Midlife Dating Coach. Ronnie asked Denise to talk about how she can help people who are considering amicable divorce or separation. Denise explained that she can work with people in whatever stage of divorce they are in – whether first considering or just beginning a divorce, or feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure of what to do next. Her Divorce With Dignity office is a safe place to talk about divorce in a nurturing and supportive atmosphere. She offers divorce planning and facilitation to anyone who wants to have an amicable divorce in a non-traumatic, dignified way. Her mission is to make a difficult situation easier, and her clients are grateful to have someone lead them through the divorce process. She points out that you don’t have to hire a lawyer to get a divorce. An amicable divorce is mostly a matter of working out a divorce agreement and preparing the proper divorce papers. Because she is not “representing” one spouse or the other like a lawyer would, she can talk with both sides and coordinate an agreement between the two parties. She then uses attorney-developed software to prepare the various legal documents relating to divorce. However, there are some situations where legal advice may be needed, for example issues concerning child support. Since she is not an attorney, she does not give legal advice. But she can arrange for an attorney to help her clients on an as-needed basis. This is much more cost-effective than hiring an attorney to handle the entire divorce. And it’s also a less contentious way to divorce; when both parties hire lawyers to represent them in divorce court, it becomes an adversarial situation which increases negative feelings and hurtful exchanges. Denise can work on an hourly basis or a flat-rate fee, and can help you achieve a peaceful divorce for a fraction of what an average attorney-based divorce would cost. She is offering a free telephone or in-person consultation, and also a free pamphlet “5 Simple Steps to an Amicable Divorce” as a download from her Divorce With Dignity webpage. To contact Denise, visit her webpage or call her at 510-522-2600. To listen to the radio interview, click below. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, Divorce Process, divorce with dignity --- ### [The Divorce Process: Can An Uncontested Divorce Make It Easier?](https://dwdignity.com/the-divorce-process-can-an-uncontested-divorce-make-it-easier/) **Published:** April 13, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** How does divorce work? Well, no matter how you look at it, it is never easy. It can be a long, drawn out process and there may a lot of emotional upheaval on both sides. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the subject. **Content:** How does divorce work? Well, no matter how you look at it, it is never easy. It can be a long, drawn out process and there may a lot of emotional upheaval on both sides. Unfortunately, due to the nature of the subject, it is almost impossible to avoid the ugly reality of divorce but there are ways that you can make it easier on yourself, including opting to file for an uncontested divorce. To begin with, as laws vary from state to state, so the specific divorce process will be slightly different given those particular laws. That said, there are some things that generally hold true when it comes to filing for divorce. It is a legal process and it will involve a lot of paperwork, much jumping through hoops and, hopefully for everyone involved, conflict resolution. The first step in considering how does divorce work is to file for a legal order of separation that allows you and your spouse to live separately while continuing to work through the steps to divorce. Filing for separation can be complicated in itself, particularly if a couple has children, as consideration has to be made for custody and living arrangements for the children. Once you’ve separated, then you can focus on filing for divorce. This will mean consulting an family law professional and formally stating the reasons for the divorce. Once you’ve gotten your paperwork together, you file it with your local court clerk. The next step in the divorce process is to serve the petition to the other party, who may also hire an legal professional and fight for his or her rights if you cannot come to an agreement. The court may issue a temporary divorce order, allowing for various conditions involving child custody and support and spousal support that must be adhered to until the final divorce decree is issued. So how does divorce work? At this point both parties enter into a period called “discovery” which is a nice way of saying that they each lay out their issues and demands and they work to come to a mutually agreeable conclusion, and if you’re in agreement this is much easier than if you have to litigate.. During discovery, the spouses may choose to work together or with a mediator or other family law professional, in order to work out their differences quickly and easily with as little hassle as possible, or they may end up going to court to hash things out. This is where opting to file for an uncontested divorce can make a real difference in the entire divorce process. When filing for divorce, you must list the reasons for divorcing. Often this can lead to a lot of arguing or protracted legal proceedings. When considering the question how does divorce work, filing for an uncontested divorce, where neither spouse is held at fault, can make the entire process much easier on everyone involved. There is no getting around the pain and heartache caused by divorce, but that doesn’t mean you need to draw them out. By following the proper steps in filing and, if you can, filing for an uncontested divorce, you can help to make the road a lot less bumpy. This is something that should be of particular interest to couples with children, as the quicker and easier you can make the process, the easier it will be on your kids. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution **Tags:** definition of amicable divorce, what is amicable divorce --- ### [Understanding The Role of Divorce Papers In An Uncontested Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/understanding-the-role-of-divorce-papers-in-an-uncontested-divorce/) **Published:** June 8, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce papers, documents stating the desire for a divorce and outlining the reasons for filing, must be filed in every divorce case. We’ve all heard about one spouse receiving “divorce papers” from another and it usually carries a very ugly connotation. But this doesn’t have to be the case, particularly when the divorce is uncontested. **Content:** Divorce papers, documents stating the desire for a divorce and outlining the reasons for filing, must be filed in every divorce case. We’ve all heard about one spouse receiving “divorce papers” from another and it usually carries a very ugly connotation. But this doesn’t have to be the case, particularly when the divorce is uncontested. In most divorce cases, one spouse files for the divorce with the county clerk and then the legal documents are served to the other spouse, formally notifying them of their spouse’s intentions. At this point, the spouse who is served the papers may choose to argue the reasons for divorce that are outlined in them, necessitating further legal action. In uncontested divorce this step is not necessary as the spouse who is served agrees to the terms. When a couple agrees to an uncontested divorce it may seem unnecessary to go through the formality of filing divorce papers, but this isn’t true. Even in cases where both spouses are agreeing, a divorce remains a legal proceeding and that means that both spouses must abide by all of the legal rules and regulations in order for the divorce to become finalized. The difference in an uncontested divorce is that usually by the time papers are being served, the two sides have hashed out their differences and it is basically just putting the icing on top of the cake, so to speak. Sometimes, even in an amicable divorce, it can make things easier when you see it in print and realize that the worst is over. Once divorce papers are served, that officially begins what most legal jurisdictions call the “waiting period”, a specific amount of time during which the spouse who was served has the opportunity to answer. Usually, a spouse has 30 days in which to file a response, which can either be an agreement to the terms of the divorce or an argument to them, asking for them to be contested. If the responding spouse contests the divorce, then a court hearing will be necessary in order to get a legal ruling of divorce. This is where you can really see the advantage of an uncontested divorce, as it allows you to avoid what can be a long, drawn out process. In an uncontested divorce, the spouse who is served needs only to sign the papers and submit them within the 30-day waiting period. Once the divorce papers are filed, both spouses will be required to disclose information such as income, assets and expenses so that a divorce settlement can be reached. If the divorce is uncontested, that will usually be the end of it. The last bits of paperwork can be filed and the divorce is finalized. As you can see, those legal papers are a very important part of the divorce process. They are the black and white declaration of the end of a marriage and a necessity to make sure that everything is on the up and up and all parties are in agreement. This is true whether your divorce is contested or not, so don’t assume that filing for an uncontested divorce will mean that you can avoid the paperwork; it will just make the process of filing it quicker and easier on everyone involved. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** Divorce papers, Uncontested Divorce --- ### [What Exactly Is An Amicable Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/exactly-amicable-divorce/) **Published:** May 25, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The definition of amicable divorce is a subject of much debate. Many people feel that the phrase is an oxymoron. By its definition, divorce is an adversarial process, so how could it possibly be amicable? But believe it or not, it is possible to have a quick and easy, relatively drama-free divorce, provided both sides are willing to work toward this end. **Content:** The definition of amicable divorce is a subject of much debate. Many people feel that the phrase is an oxymoron. By its definition, divorce is an adversarial process, so how could it possibly be amicable? But believe it or not, it is possible to have a quick and easy, relatively drama-free divorce, provided both sides are willing to work toward this end. So what is amicable divorce? It is another term for uncontested divorce; basically a process during which both parties work out their differences without the necessity of extensive, drawn out legal procedures. In most cases, this type of divorce will involve one party filing for divorce and both parties discussing their differences and agreeing on the conditions for their divorce, then filing the paperwork when everything has been ironed out. When considering the definition of amicable divorce, it’s easy to see what the advantages would be. It can make the entire process much quicker and less painful. It also allows both parties to keep their issues private, as only the basics of their agreement need to be made part of the officially filed paperwork. The specifics of their disagreement can remain off the record, allowing both parties some ability to save face. Because an amicable divorce reduces the need for legal representation it can also be significantly less expensive, another factor that can make it a very attractive option. So when asking what is amicable divorce, you could say that it’s a way to save both parties time, money and heartache by streamlining the entire divorce process. Of course, every coin has two sides and there can be disadvantages to going through an amicable divorce. Primarily, when looking at the definition of amicable divorce and realizing that it involves friendly negotiating leading to mutual agreement, a spouse who is not willing to talk through the issues or is simply out to get as much money as possible from a divorce will make completing the process very difficult if not impossible. Also, there are some circumstances under which an amicable divorce will not be possible at all. This is primarily the case for divorces that that involve physical, sexual or emotional abuse. When asking what is amicable divorce, it should be obvious that it would not be possible to sit down and peacefully negotiate the terms of divorce with an abuser. Barring these kinds of circumstances, however, individuals who understand the definition of amicable divorce may well wish to go this route. This is particularly true for couples with children, but it really applies to any couple that simply wishes to get through the divorce process without dragging it out and making it uglier than it needs to be. If you are considering a divorce, make sure you look at all of your options and consult with an family law professional or counselor in order to figure out if an amicable divorce may be the best way for you to go. If you do take this road and you can make it work, it can allow you to get past the pain and on the road to recovery sooner rather than later. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, Divorce Advice, divorce lawyer, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce --- ### [10 Essentials to Remember During a Difficult Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/10-essentials-to-remember-during-a-difficult-divorce/) **Published:** September 6, 2017 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Gregory Frank, CEO of DivorceForce, who himself is divorced, has always been an upbeat and positive person. He emphasizes that it is most important to challenge yourself and move forward though negativity may surround you. While there are certain scenarios out of your control, with work you can change how you react to situations. **Content:** # 10 Essentials to Remember During a Difficult Divorce Sep 6, 2017 | [Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/category/amicable-divorce-and-conflict-resolutio/), [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce --- ### [Amber Rose And Wiz Khalifa Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/amber-rose-and-wiz-khalifa-divorce-with-dignity/) **Published:** October 20, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Over the last several years, I’ve posted various articles about what it means to have an amicable divorce, and whether achieving this is even possible. The word “amicable” means to be “characterized by friendly goodwill” or “peaceable”. **Content:** # Amber Rose And Wiz Khalifa Divorce With Dignity Oct 20, 2016 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/) **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, celebrity divorce, divorce aggrement, Divorce Process, peaceful divorce --- ### [Celebrating Actively Involved Divorced Dads](https://dwdignity.com/celebrating-actively-involved-divorced-dads/) **Published:** June 5, 2017 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Dads who choose to maintain a positive and unified front with the co-parent of their children are setting their kids up for the best possible outcome in life. These children know they are cared about because their needs are being put first. They will carry with them for the rest of their lives the feeling of being valued, safe and important. **Content:** # Celebrating Actively Involved Divorced Dads Jun 5, 2017 | [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce And Children, Divorce And Holidays --- ### [Clearing The Emotional Stuckness Of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/clearing-the-emotional-stuckness-of-divorce/) **Published:** August 3, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The issues which come up in a marriage generally seem like they’ll go away if we can just be done with that relationship! You naturally expect that you’ll be done with feelings like anger at being abused, or sadness from being discounted, or even jealousy driven by a spouse’s affair. **Content:** # Clearing The Emotional Stuckness Of Divorce Aug 3, 2016 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Emotional Stuckness Of Divorce, Marriage Issue, Relationship Issue --- ### [Gwyneth Paltrow And Chris Martin – Amicable Divorce Still Working](https://dwdignity.com/gwyneth-paltrow-and-chris-martin-amicable-divorce-still-working/) **Published:** July 20, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Two years ago we published a blog article about the decision made by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin to split up, and to do so in a peaceful and friendly manner. Calling it “conscious uncoupling”, the couple who had been married more than 10 years made the effort to create an amicable divorce for the benefit of the family. They had tried for over a year to work out a way for their marriage to continue, but decided that although they still loved each other, it was best they separated from each other. At the time of the announcement in April 2014, they issued a statement in which they wrote, “We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost”. Chris and Gwyneth have two children – daughter Apple, turning 12 this month, and son Moses, 9. One year after the announcement, the divorce became final in April 2015. In a recent interview this year with the Sunday Times, Chris described his relationship with Gwyneth as a “very wonderful separation-divorce”. The couple remain close and still spend holidays together with their children. According to his Coldplay bandmate, Phil Harvey, Chris suffered from a “really bleak period” following the divorce, but fortunately seems to have worked through it. Both he and Gwyneth have moved on to new relationships, but have been able to maintain an amicable and harmonious family life with their children. Looks like their amicable divorce is still working! The short-term and long-term benefits of an amicable, peaceful divorce are exemplified in the type of situation Chris and Gwyneth have created. If a separation/divorce is the right decision for a couple, how much better it is to do it with peace and dignity, and hopefully friendship. Choosing to divorce in a spirit of cooperation, with a focus on what’s going to be best for the children, has proven to be a better option than an adversarial, litigated divorce in every way. It’s quicker, more private, and way less expensive. On an emotional level, it is far less traumatic and easier on the children and the parents. Plus, you have much more control over and flexibility in decisions that will affect your lives for years to come. Would you like to learn more about this better option? Divorce With Dignity can help! We are a national network of divorce support professionals who can guide you through the divorce process and help you plan and achieve an amicable divorce that is fair to all parties. To find out how we can help you through this difficult time, contact a Divorce With Dignity facilitator near you. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, Chris Martin, Conscious Uncoupling, Divorce support, Gwyneth Paltrow, peaceful divorce --- ### [I Want A Divorce. Where Do I Start?](https://dwdignity.com/i-want-a-divorce-where-do-i-start/) **Published:** August 10, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** When someone calls my office and says, “I want a divorce. Where do I start?”, the first thing I ask them is if they are absolutely sure that this is really what they want. It’s a major step with permanent ramifications, so if there is any doubt at all it’s very important for them to explore their feelings and find peace of mind about the answer before taking any other steps. **Content:** When someone calls my office and says, “I want a divorce. Where do I start?”, the first thing I ask them is if they are absolutely sure that this is really what they want. It’s a major step with permanent ramifications, so if there is any doubt at all it’s very important for them to explore their feelings and find peace of mind about the answer before taking any other steps. If the caller is very sure about divorce, then I will ask some questions to find out the type of divorce they need, discuss their options, and let them know the costs involved. They can try to do the divorce themselves, but it’s very difficult to achieve without some guidance. If the couple is in basic agreement on most issues, then an independent paralegal can help them work out a divorce agreement and can file the divorce papers in court for them. If there are a few issues the couple is having trouble resolving, then a mediator may be able to help them. But if there is no way they can come to an agreement, their options disappear and they have to resort to each hiring divorce attorneys – the most expensive option, both emotionally and financially. I recommend trying to avoid this last option if at all possible. Better to find a way to get the divorce done as amicably as possible without litigation. If they want to avoid that last option, then the next step is to consult with a divorce professional, someone who can facilitate the divorce process. If the person is committed to an amicable non-litigated divorce, then [Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/) is right for them, and I suggest we make an appointment. There we will review the divorce process and strategize the best plan of action to proceed with the divorce. I also suggest they arrange for emotional support for themselves and for their children (if they have any), starting at the beginning of and throughout the divorce process. This helps tremendously in getting people through this difficult time, not only to achieve an amicable and peaceful divorce, but to plan for the future. Other topics that we’ll cover in our meeting are: - Where will you live in the future? Who will move out? Or will both of you move? - How will you divide assets and debts? - Will temporary spousal support or alimony be needed? For those with children, additional topics would include: - Deciding on the custody of the children - Developing a parenting plan - How will the children’s expenses be handled? - Child support calculations - How to tell the children about the divorce I also ask if they have already spoken with their spouse about divorce, and if they are “on the same page”. If that conversation hasn’t happened yet, I can help them prepare for it. I will also make recommendations on what kind of information and documents they will need to gather. As divorce facilitators, members of the Divorce With Dignity Network help our clients to prepare the divorce papers and then we’ll file them in the court. But we also can provide referrals to other professionals in case additional support is needed, such as divorce coaches, therapists, mediators, or financial advisors. If you believe divorce is your best option, [find a Divorce With Dignity professional](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) in your area who can help you get started. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce agreement, divorce attorneys, divorce facilitators, how to start a divorce, non-litigated divorce --- ### [Litigated Divorce – An Expensive And Traumatic Choice](https://dwdignity.com/litigated-divorce-an-expensive-and-traumatic-choice/) **Published:** July 13, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** I was reading the other day about a particular litigated divorce case which resulted in a 36-day trial and $500,000 in lawyer fees. That's half a million dollars! The divorcing individuals were not wealthy – he worked as a police officer and she had a part-time computer-based business, so those legal fees had a huge financial effect on them. **Content:** I was reading the other day about a particular litigated divorce case which resulted in a 36-day trial and $500,000 in lawyer fees. That’s half a million dollars! The divorcing individuals were not wealthy – he worked as a police officer and she had a part-time computer-based business, so those legal fees had a huge financial effect on them. A litigated divorce can really rack up attorney fees quickly, and before you know it, you’re looking at colossal debt. The judge in this particular trial, Justice Alex Pazaratz, wrote this in a follow-up to his ruling: “What will it take to convince angry parents that nasty and aggressive litigation never turns out well?” He then berated the parents for having “squandered” money on the trial that could have benefited their young daughter. The attorney for the child’s father was quoted as saying, “It was a really sad case…The strong message that needs to come across with this case is it’s a no-win situation for anybody” (to drag things out in court). She continued with, “It’s completely driven by parents who are being unreasonable with each other.” But not only is divorce litigation an expensive option, it is usually a very traumatic experience with both short-term and long-term repercussions. This is true not only for the divorcing couple, but especially true for any children involved. In an acrimonious and angry divorce, children are not only losing their family unit, they are often exposed to fighting, and horrible accusations or name-calling between their parents. This causes sadness, grief, anxiety, and even depression in these unfortunate children, and these effects can stay with them into adulthood. They can grow up with feelings of guilt, alienation from one of the parents, and possible issues with the sex of the parent they blame for the breakdown. As adults, they may be more susceptible to depression and anxiety, and are more likely to have marriages that end in divorce. On the other hand, when parents have been fighting a lot before the divorce, an amicable divorce can actually provide relief to the children that now the fighting will stop. An amicable divorce doesn’t mean the parents no longer have differences, but it does mean that they agree to treat each other with civility and fairness as they negotiate a divorce agreement that is workable for them, and best for the children. This method can greatly reduce the amount of stress and trauma imposed on the children. Divorce With Dignity is a national network of divorce support professionals who have a lot of experience assisting people with amicable divorces and divorce agreement negotiations. We can guide you through the divorce process, and help you with the divorce papers and court filings. If you have decided that divorce is your best course of action, and would like to explore an option that is much less traumatic and far less expensive than a litigated divorce, please give us a call. Check our website to find a Divorce With Dignity facilitator near you. **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, children and divorce, divorce agreement, lawyer fees, litigated divorce --- ### [Paying For Divorce With Crowdfunding](https://dwdignity.com/paying-for-divorce-with-crowdfunding/) **Published:** August 24, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce is going to cost you – no doubt about it. Finding the financial resources to pay for divorce may take some creativity. **Content:** Divorce is going to cost you – no doubt about it. Finding the financial resources to pay for divorce may take some creativity. In addition to the usual methods such as personal savings, borrowing from family, and seeking ways to cut back on discretionary spending, there is a new resource to check into. Some people are now paying for their divorce with “crowdfunding”. For those unfamiliar with the term, crowdfunding is a way to raise money through the collective effort of individuals (mostly friends and family) who donate money via crowdfunding websites to a cause of some kind; in this case, your divorce. It allows for a large pool of people to contribute various amounts to help you pay for the divorce. You (or a family member or friend) can spread the word through social media platforms and email. It gives people who care about you a way to rally around you and support you. One such fundraising platform is [Plumfund](http://www.plumfund.com/), created by Sara and Josh Marulis. They first set up a platform for people to raise funds for their honeymoon, but have recently added “Divorce” as one of its sections. You can do an online search to find other crowdfunding websites, such as [Funded Justice](https://www.fundedjustice.com/en/explore/in/divorce) or [GoFundMe](https://www.gofundme.com/). The actual cost of divorce will vary depending on factors such as the following – - what state you live in - whether you plan to hire attorneys, a mediator, or an independent legal assistant - whether you live in a large city (for example, divorce lawyers are more expensive in large cities) In addition to the cost of hiring a professional to help you get the divorce, you should also plan for the costs of – - court filing fees - housing costs – one or both spouses moving to a new place, possibly selling the family home, setting up a new household - professional help – financial counselors, therapists for the spouses and/or children, divorce coaches, etc. One important way to reduce the cost of divorce is to plan an amicable divorce without litigation. If you and your spouse are in agreement on most issues and can commit to a peaceful, non-adversarial divorce, you can save a lot of money, time, and heartache. Divorce With Dignity is a network of divorce facilitators who help their clients plan their divorce and work out a negotiated divorce agreement. If there are still a few issues, we can recommend mediators who can help you through that. If legal advice is needed, we can refer you to lawyers who will consult with you on just the relevant topics. Need to find some other professional help? We can give your referrals for them as well. Finally, we will help you fill out the divorce papers and file them in the court for you. All of this will cost you thousands of dollars less than hiring attorneys to fight it out for you in divorce court! Lowering your divorce costs by avoiding litigation can make it easier to reach your goal. Giving some consideration to crowdfunding to help in paying for the divorce might also bring your goal within reach. For more information on how we can help, please visit [our website](https://dwdignity.com/) and [find a Divorce With Dignity professional](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) near you to talk with. **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** amicable divorce, Crowdfunding, crowdfunding for divorce, divorce attorneys, divorce costs, non-litigated divorce, paying for divorce --- ### [What Are Divorce Papers And What Role Do They Play In An Uncontested Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/what-are-divorce-papers-and-what-role-do-they-play-in-an-uncontested-divorce/) **Published:** November 17, 2016 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce papers are documents stating that a divorce is desired and outlining the reasons for filing. These documents must be filed in every divorce case in order for the divorce to be legal. The serving of these papers can be very emotionally charged and so is often not a welcome moment. **Content:** Divorce papers are documents stating that a divorce is desired and outlining the reasons for filing. These documents must be filed in every divorce case in order for the divorce to be legal. The serving of these papers can be very emotionally charged and so is often not a welcome moment. However, this is not necessarily the case with an uncontested divorce. More often than not, when a couple reaches the point where divorce becomes their best option, one spouse will file for divorce with the county clerk and then documents are served to the other spouse. The spouse who receives the papers may then choose to contest the stated reasons for divorce and then further legal action would be required. In an uncontested divorce the spouses create a final settlement agreement, so that no legal battle is necessary. The assumption may be that if the divorce is not contested, then filing divorce papers isn’t necessary. But legal papers are required in every divorce case, whether or not it is contested, in order to ensure that both spouses address and abide by the many legal issues. Only when final papers are accepted by the court can the divorce actually be finalized. In this situation, the papers are a formality, but an essential one. Even in the “friendliest” of divorces, having the details in print can actually make things easier to bear, as it signals in a very real way that the hardest part of the process is over. After the formal serving of divorce papers, in most cases the two parties enter a “waiting period”. This is a specified amount of time required by most legal jurisdictions during which the spouse who was served has the opportunity to answer the specifics of the divorce agreement. Most jurisdictions usually set aside 30 days for this period. The spouse who has been served can file a response within those 30 days either agreeing to the terms or arguing them. If the divorce is contested a court hearing will then become necessary in order to get a legal ruling. This can sometimes become a lengthy and ugly process, with a lot of enmity between the parties. Much time and money can be saved if the spouses can agree on an uncontested divorce. With both spouses in agreement, all that is required is for the spouse who is served to sign the divorce papers and submit them within the 30 day waiting period. After the formal filing of the divorce papers, each spouse will need to disclose financial information including income, assets and expenses so that a divorce settlement can be worked out. In the case of a divorce that is not contested, the last of the paperwork can then be filed and the divorce will be finalized. As painful as divorce may be, it is necessary to make sure that everything is handled properly in order to ensure that there are no further complications down the road. Taking the extra time to make sure all the t’s are crossed and all the i’s are dotted when you file for divorce will make things easier on everyone in the long run. **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution **Tags:** Divorce papers, Uncontested Divorce --- ### [Where Can I Look For Emotional Support During A Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/where-can-i-look-for-emotional-support-during-a-divorce/) **Published:** July 26, 2017 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Divorce support can be just as important from an emotional standpoint as a legal one. Because no matter how you look at it, a divorce is the ending of what was at one time a loving relationship. **Content:** Divorce support can be just as important from an emotional standpoint as a legal one. Because no matter how you look at it, a divorce is the ending of what was at one time a loving relationship. That kind of upheaval is never an easy thing to go through and it can take a huge emotional toll on everyone involved, including both spouses and the children. Knowing where to turn for emotional support can be very important. The first thing to bear in mind is that admitting you need help does not mean you are weak. In fact, seeking help is more often a sign of great strength because it means you are not afraid to reach out. Looking into divorce groups and therapists and how to find them is something that you should seriously consider as it could make all the difference to your emotional and physical health. Another important thing to remember is that there are at least two sides in every divorce and in cases where children are involved, there are three sides: yours, your spouses and the children’s. When it comes to divorce support, it is important that everyone feels that he or she is being heard and that nobody becomes lost in the process. Looking at divorce groups and therapists and how to find them, you’d be surprised at how easy it actually is. Most states and individual communities have a lot of resources to help spouses and children going through divorce. You need only look into what is available in your area and find the form of assistance that works best for you. One of the biggest hurdles most people face when seeking divorce support is not reaching out, thinking they don’t want to burden anyone else with their problems. But keeping things to yourself can be extremely detrimental and can lead to irreparable damage, so it’s always better to get things out in the open one way or another, no matter how uncomfortable it feels. Of course, when looking for support, the first thing that comes to most people’s minds is their friends and family. While this kind of support is wonderful it may not necessarily be the best route to go as family members and friends can be torn between sides and carrying a great deal of emotional baggage themselves. That’s why the idea of divorce groups and therapists and how to find them can be so important. There are many available professional resources, from trained counselors and therapists to divorce support groups made up of other individuals going through the same thing you are. You might even be able to find courses on recovery and rebounding from divorce at your local college or community center. The important thing is to look into all of your options and discover exactly what is out there. There is no reason for you to go through the painful journey to divorce on your own. Be open to the many different avenues you can follow in order to get the support and strength that you need. If you’re in the middle of a divorce or just contemplating filing for divorce, do your homework and find out what kind of support network exists in your area…then take that first brave step and reach out! DivorceForce is a great community for support! You should also consider reaching out for one-on-one support with professionals. *Divorce With Dignity facilitators are dedicated to helping you through your divorce in a peaceful manner. By helping you with planning for divorce, educating you on what to expect in the divorce process, and coaching you on how to communicate with legal personnel, we can help you maintain control of your situation. They can show you how to communicate with your spouse in order to achieve a collaborative divorce where both parties can get their needs met while remaining civil and maintaining dignity. By doing this, you can avoid the misery of an adversarial litigated divorce.* [*Visit their our website to find a Divorce with Dignity office near you.*](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) **Categories:** Blog --- ### [Does Divorce Have to Mean Financial Ruin?](https://dwdignity.com/does-divorce-have-to-mean-financial-ruin/) **Published:** November 20, 2020 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** If the reason you’ve been putting off your divorce is your fear of financial ruin, then you may want to keep reading. Yes, divorce can be very expensive and is very difficult emotionally and life-altering, but it does not mean that it has to lead to your financial, social, or mental demise **Content:** # Does Divorce Have to Mean Financial Ruin? Nov 20, 2020 | [Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/category/amicable-divorce-and-conflict-resolutio/), [Dealing with Divorce Lawyers](https://dwdignity.com/category/dealing-with-divorce-lawyers/), [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Mediation](https://dwdignity.com/category/mediation/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Mediation **Tags:** cost of divorce, divorce, mediation --- ### [Co-Parenting Through COVID](https://dwdignity.com/co-parenting-through-covid/) **Published:** August 20, 2020 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Usually, this time of year, we (co-parents) are focused on back-to-school supplies and meeting our child(ren)’s new teacher(s). We may be looking forward to refocusing on work or actually having some quiet time around the house, as it has been an especially long (and yet, somehow incredibly fast) summer, hasn’t it!? **Content:** # Co-Parenting Through COVID Aug 20, 2020 | [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/), [Co-Parenting](https://dwdignity.com/category/co-parenting/) **Categories:** Blog, Co-Parenting **Tags:** Co-Parenting --- ### [Gratitude in Hard Times](https://dwdignity.com/gratitude-in-hard-times/) **Published:** November 13, 2017 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Divorcing your spouse is a major life event that can leave you feeling a range of challenging emotions; from sad, exhausted and energy-depleted to angry, bitter and regretful. As we approach the holiday season, past memories of when your life was very different are easily stirred up. It can also be difficult to be faced with family members, friends and coworkers questioning your new single life at holiday gatherings. It’s crucial to acknowledge that going through a divorce can be an unbelievably stressful time. And, to help guide you through this trying time it’s more important now than ever to be grateful for the good in your life Here are three things you can do to appreciate what is good in your life and how to remember them when times are hard. Recognizing the Good Take time out of each day to recognize the good parts of your life. Maybe it’s your weekly-anticipated nights out with friends, or your Saturday shopping trips, a job that you love or the volunteer work you do at the local hospital. Perhaps it’s the time you keep just for yourself every Sunday night, watching your favorite TV show, snuggling up with your dog while drinking a delicious glass of red wine. Buy yourself a journal or notebook and make a point to write down the things in your life that you are grateful for. If you are feeling down, the number of things on your list may surprise you to see once. Make it a habit to do this each day and read over it when you need a reminder. Refocusing on the Good Give yourself permission to be sad, angry or upset when times are hard. But, once you have let yourself feel the emotions make it a point to re-center yourself and refocus on what you are grateful for. That way you are never sad or upset for too long. This is especially helpful for when you have to be professional or interact socially. Spend time with your kids. If you are parents, your ex will always be a part of your life as they are your children’s parent, too. It’s important to acknowledge the good that came out of the relationship – your beautiful offspring! Creating More Good Once you have allowed yourself to feel the negative emotions and have come to a point where you can be grateful for the many good things in your life, it’s important to pay it forward so you can help others going through a potentially hard time in their lives. When you can come to a point where you realize that others might be worse off than you, you gain perspective. For sure divorce is hard! However, as you have glimpses of the new possibilities or come out on the other side, it can be a new beginning–you can build your new life. Create more positivity in your life by doing more of the things that make you feel good and are beneficial for others. Remember that you wouldn’t be in the positive place you can be in today had you not found a way through and past your thorny relationship. Divorce with Dignity helps our clients move forward in a positive way. We can help ease the burden of preparing and filing divorce papers. We can also provide recommendations to family therapists and mediators to ensure that our clients have the best resources possible to establish amicable co-parenting relationships. For more information on how we can help, please visit our website and find a Divorce With Dignity professional near you to schedule a consultation. **Categories:** Blog --- ### [Gray Divorce: Challenges when Divorcing After 50](https://dwdignity.com/gray-divorce-challenges-when-divorcing-after-50/) **Published:** October 13, 2017 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Gray divorce, or divorce amongst potentially gray haired folks of AARP age, is on the rise. Studies show that while overall divorce rates have remained stable across the country since 1990, divorces for couples over 50 that have been married for decades and often have grown children have nearly doubled. In 2010, studies showed that nearly 25% of divorcees were over the age of 50, while 10% were over the age of 65. While embarking upon divorce is a tough decision and a life altering process, there are very specific sets of challenges that arise when divorce occurs later in life. Specifically, financial stressors, the drastic change of lifestyle and loneliness are three major factors to consider for older couples contemplating divorce. ### Financial Issues Financial issues can be a large hurdle to overcome for those in or nearing retirement. When a couple has been together for many years, they may have had long professional careers, amassed retirement funds, grown investments and purchased a house(s.) It may not be as easy to divide up assets between spouses when there have been many years and dollars invested throughout the relationship. Another financial issue that may arise is deciding which spouse gets to remain living in the longtime family home and who has to move out. When spouses have reached retirement age, it’s possible that they will be living on a fixed income, social security, pensions or some combination of these. It becomes more difficult to sustain two separate households on a fixed income and other arrangements may need to be made. One or both spouses may need to return to work or find alternate sources of income. Rising healthcare costs later in life may become an issue as well. Due to the longer life expectancy today, there is a great likelihood that a retiree will live 20-30 years after they stop working. It’s important to ensure funds are available for later in life care if at all possible. ### Loneliness In a gray divorce, one or both partners are likely to experience loneliness after separating. If they have spent decades living together and are used to sharing a life and home, it may be stressful at first to get used to this drastic change. Most often, these couples have children that are grown up, living on their own, and perhaps even have children of their own. It may feel like having an empty nest all over again. Making new friends, dating, traveling, exploring new hobbies, enjoying retirement, are all things that can maximize a new quality of life under these circumstances. ### Lifestyle Changes When deciding that a gray divorce is best, one may be intimidated by the lifestyle changes that come along with it. If one has spent most of their adult life dedicated to one’s ex it will be difficult, but the benefits often outweigh the challenges. Grown children are no longer the full focus, and there is no pressure to “stay together for the kids” that there once may have been. It is important to find ways to embrace single life. Whatever the reasons for this huge change, it can eventually be a new beginning. Divorce With Dignity helps clients move forward in a positive way. We help ease the difficult burden of preparing and filing divorce papers. We also provide divorce support. We can recommend divorce financial specialists, family attorneys, therapists and mediators to ensure that our clients have the best resources possible to achieve an amicable divorce. Issues like conflict resolution, alimony, and division of assets can be addressed within a peaceful and collaborative environment. For more information on how we can help, please visit our website and find a Divorce With Dignity professional near you to schedule a consultation. Sources: ***The Journals of Gerontology*** **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Emotional Effects of Divorce --- ### [Home Heartbreak](https://dwdignity.com/home-heartbreak/) **Published:** September 18, 2020 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** **Life is full of transitions.** We all remember moving out of our childhood home. For many of us, it was both a thrilling and absolutely terrifying experience. But possibly, one of the most fulfilling feelings is turning a house into a home—and a family home becomes the hot spot where so many memories are made. So how do you cope when your once happy home is filled with heartbreak? Over [90 percent](https://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/) of people in Western cultures will get married by the time they turn 50, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), but almost half of these marriages will end in divorce. **We asked 501 people in the U.S., from ages 22 to 77, how they dealt with their divorce, who kept the marital home, and how they transitioned into a new chapter of life.** Keep reading to see how divorced respondents are attempting to pick up the pieces and create happy, healthy homes. **TO SELL OR TO STAY** **Categories:** Blog, Children and Divorce Rates, Emotional Effects of Divorce --- ### [How Much is Too Much?](https://dwdignity.com/how-much-is-too-much/) **Published:** July 27, 2020 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** If nothing else, this unusual time has given us time to really get to know ourselves and others in our lives and a real chance to reassess our relationships and our priorities. **Content:** If nothing else, this unusual time has given us time to really get to know ourselves and others in our lives and a real chance to reassess our relationships and our priorities. Have you discovered that the person you’re married to isn’t the person who adds to your life and helps you through the tough times (the “…or for worse” part)? Maybe they actually make things “for worse” for the most part? Many of us have come to see a different side of some of our family members, friends, and acquaintances during this crisis, and have come to understand that we have some very fundamental differences in the way we perceive, react to, and engage with the world and each other. **This can mean that, instead of supporting one another and raising up each other, these relationships are bringing up more conflict, hurt, and a greater feeling of isolation along with anger, frustration, and anxiety.** So, **how do we know when and where to say “when,”** when so much is coming from every single direction? How do we know where the problem lies? Is it a problem in our personal life or are we misdirecting anger from world events, social media bullying, or frustration with the public? Maybe it’s just lack of sleep or sheer overwhelm… It’ll take some reflection (and perhaps outside resources) to determine where the real problem(s) are actually coming from for you, but what happens if you come to realize that the problem is your relationship with your spouse? **What happens when this key relationship is impacting your EVERY DAY, your sleep, your ability to function, and the way your kids are being raised (what they’re hearing, seeing, doing, and learning about relationships during this time)?** Are you and your spouse fighting constantly, shutting each other out, engaging in divisive behaviors with your kids, and/or … taking your stress out on them? Are you and your spouse modeling the kind of behavior that you’d want your children to imitate? **Is your relationship creating more stress for everyone?** It may be time to say “enough!” When we start to shut down, shut out, act out, or lash out… it’s time to say “when.” What does that look like? It may be time for reflection, counseling, distance/separation, counseling, or… **it may be time for a divorce.** There are many resources, such as therapy and family counseling, to help you work through the first steps/options, but if you reach the clarity that it is time for divorce, consider choosing an amicable divorce process as a way to help alleviate the pain and avoid adding more fighting and frustration to your life and your children’s. **Divorce With Dignity not only works with you to reach your divorce settlement in the most amicable way possible, but we also work with you to get the support you need leading up to, during, and following your divorce.** Whether it’s child or family therapy referrals, establishing and negotiating co-parenting agreements, or ongoing family mediation, you can establish a relationship with your local Provider, who will **serve as an ongoing ally for your family to get the support they need.** **Divorce with Dignity helps our clients move forward in a positive way.** For more information on how we can help, please [contact a Divorce With Dignity professional near you](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) to schedule a consultation. **Categories:** Blog, Is It Time To Divorce? --- ### [Interview with the Founder of Divorce with Dignity: Cindy Elwell](https://dwdignity.com/interview-with-the-founder-of-divorce-with-dignity-cindy-elwell/) **Published:** October 19, 2020 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** I recently had the pleasure of doing an interview with Susan Regan, MFT for her “Make-Up or Break-Up” Community Project, designed to help people get the resources and support they need to either work on or move on from their relationships. **Content:** # Interview with the Founder of Divorce with Dignity: Cindy Elwell Oct 19, 2020 | [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/), [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Is It Time To Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/category/is-it-time-to-divorce/) **Categories:** Blog, Divorce Process, Is It Time To Divorce? --- ### [Timing Your Looming Divorce Around the Holidays](https://dwdignity.com/timing-your-looming-divorce-around-the-holidays/) **Published:** December 15, 2020 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** You’ve finally decided to pursue divorce — but now another holiday season is upon you. So, do you start the process now and avoid another strained sit-down dinner and forced niceties around the tree, Menorah, or Yule log — or do you wait until after the holidays? **Content:** You’ve finally decided to pursue divorce — but now another holiday season is upon you. So, **do you start the process now** and avoid another strained sit-down dinner and forced niceties around the tree, Menorah, or Yule log — **or do you wait until after the holidays?** This is a tough decision that requires some soul searching on your part, as **only you can answer that**, based on your own situation. Of course, if you have children, this decision is even more complex, because you have to consider the impact(s) on them. Will it bring them relief, knowing that the tension will soon be resolved, or will it bring them much sorrow and sadness added on to an already difficult year — or both? Because 2020 has been extremely challenging already, it might be preferable to let the family just have the holiday, in whatever form it is, without any additional, piled-on stress — that is, ***if*** you are currently functioning as a family and there’s no extreme emotional or physical abuse happening. Waiting to start the process after the holidays, and once you have had a chance to talk to your children and explain the situation, may be easier on everyone. Of course, if there ***is*** domestic violence or other forms of anger and harassment, then everyone will likely be better off taking action sooner rather than later. ##### **Here’s how one couple managed it:** Ben and Melissa Williams knew they were going to get a divorce, because they were headed in completely opposite directions in their lives and had really grown apart in every way. They had tried to work it out both on their own and through many months of marital counseling, but both were extremely unhappy and felt held back in their lives. They made their difficult decision in November, because though the counseling had helped them to resolve some of the anger and resentment they had been feeling, it just wasn’t enough. Their two middle school-aged children, Brad and Jennie were not aware of their parent’s unhappiness, and now the holidays were almost here. So, Ben and Melissa agreed to hold off and wait until January to start the process. **They each made a firm commitment to do their best to maintain peace, their dignity, and respect for each other and the children, and work together to make this a nice holiday** for Brad and Jennie. They also decided to really downplay the presents and focus instead on spending more quality time with their children and on the festive spirit of the holidays. Brad and Jennie would, of course, get Christmas gifts, but Ben and Melissa wanted to avoid the temptation to overdo the gift giving to compensate for what the future would reveal. It was very difficult joining with the other family members to celebrate the holidays while their looming divorce was kept private, but they did their best to participate in the family gatherings and provide Brad and Jennie a nice family holiday, **free from the additional stress and fear of what the new arrangements would bring**. As hard as this delay of resolution and secrecy was, **it laid the groundwork** for Ben and Melissa to work together in January and start the process towards an amicable divorce. **It helped give them the communication tools to be able to work with each other in a peaceful way and with a common sense of priorities.** ***Now, what will you do?*** Would you prefer to follow the path of the Williams’, or are you so unhappy that the only relief you can see would be to start the process NOW? If you need to start now, know that **you won’t be alone**; many other people begin their divorces during December, and you may find that this was **just the relief you needed.** Of course, it will be a different sort of holiday (and probably not one of your best), but it will enable you to start the new year concurrently with your **NEW BEGINNING.** So, choose whichever brings you peace of mind; after all, isn’t that what the holidays are supposed to be all about? **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Emotional Effects of Divorce, Is It Time To Divorce? **Tags:** amicable divorce, divorce timing, holiday divorce --- ### [Why September is the Biggest Month (After January) for Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/why-september-is-the-biggest-month-after-january-for-divorce/) **Published:** September 25, 2020 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** When the stress of preparing for the new school year (and this year’s new and unprecedented schooling demands) hits, following 6-8 weeks of more “quality time” spent together over the summer, a shaky marriage will often see their issues come to a head. **Content:** When the stress of preparing for the new school year (and this year’s new and unprecedented schooling demands) hits, following 6-8 weeks of more “quality time” spent together over the summer, a shaky marriage will often see their issues come to a head. The summer holiday can bring about more conflict around who will manage the mundane home chores and entertain/transport/manage the kids, in between work schedules and much-needed downtime. Of course, this is not the fault of the kids, nor really the fault of the parents — but just a perfect opportunity for latent issues to come to the forefront. With January being the biggest month for divorce, we see this again, following the winter holidays. When families are in their routines and distracted by school and work, it’s easy to ignore or suppress the marital issues. But, with the added stress of the holidays and break in normal routines, these issues have a way of manifesting, once again. Sara Davison, “The Divorce Coach,” recommends that parents set some guidelines and communicate what you “as a couple” expect and need from the summer and winter holiday time. - Be clear about what your expectations are for any time off work you may have. If you feel you need a rest, then discuss how this can work with the children off at the same time. - Make sure you respect each other’s needs as well as your own - Be prepared to reach a compromise - Talk calmly about any niggles as they arise. If you can nip them at the bud you have more chance of preventing arguments - Plan in some couple time so you don’t forget the romance. Often kids will dominate the holiday time so it’s important to book out some alone time for the two of you. (1) Though a Parenting Plan is not typically part of an active, happy marriage, perhaps it is something that could keep a marriage running a little more smoothly. Laying out the details as to who will manage what and when can reduce the ongoing negotiations and unvoiced expectations between couples. If you’re interested in discussing your unique situation and may be considering implementing a Parenting Plan into your marriage, you can speak with a [Divorce With Dignity Provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) in your area. Consultations are at no cost and can help you to prepare or mitigate potential outcomes from parenting conflicts. Should you be past that, and are looking at divorce, consider an amicable divorce process, which can save your family the time, frustration, and stress over a traditional litigation process. Our Providers are experienced and understanding and will walk you through every step of the amicable divorce process and make sure that you know exactly what to expect. *On a final, and hopefully, more encouraging note (from Davison):* With 1 in 4 kids seeing their parents divorced by the age of 16, it is becoming a normal part of life. Many kids will have friends in their classes who have been through similar situations — rather than being the exception to the rule. The stigma around divorce is disappearing as it doesn’t have to be seen as a failure. You may have had a wonderful loving relationship that just came to an end. Maybe it fizzled out or maybe one of you ended it rather suddenly or painfully. However, the truth is that divorce doesn’t have to have a long-lasting, negative effect on your life. Of course, there will be ups and downs and sadly, there is no magic wand to take the pain away. But the reality is many people go on to be happy again and even get married again. It’s not the end, in fact, it can be the start of a new and exciting phase in your life. (1) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Children and Divorce Rates, Co-Parenting --- ### [A Divorce With Dignity Experience](https://dwdignity.com/a-divorce-with-dignity-experience/) **Published:** February 12, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Spending Valentine’s Day alone (whether physically, mentally, or both) or in a tense and awkward situation (because your sweetheart relationship isn’t so sweet this year) surely is not the end of the world, but if this day and the lead up to it is shining a light on some of the harsh realities of your marriage, then it surely isn’t easy or fun to get through it. **Content:** # A Divorce With Dignity Experience Feb 12, 2021 | [Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/category/amicable-divorce-and-conflict-resolutio/), [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/), [Is It Time To Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/category/is-it-time-to-divorce/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Is It Time To Divorce? **Tags:** divorce, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day And Divorce --- ### [Achieve A Peaceful Divorce, Create The Life You Want](https://dwdignity.com/achieve-a-peaceful-divorce-create-the-life-you-want/) **Published:** March 15, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** There is no denying that going through a divorce is one of the biggest transitions in a person’s life. How do you not only get through a difficult divorce, but then rebuild your life after divorce? **Content:** # Achieve A Peaceful Divorce, Create The Life You Want Mar 15, 2021 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce Advice, law of attraction coach, life after divorce, peaceful divorce, sara crain --- ### [Are You Preparing for a Tense or Solo Valentine’s Day?](https://dwdignity.com/are-you-preparing-for-a-tense-or-solo-valentines-day/) **Published:** February 12, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Spending Valentine’s Day alone (whether physically, mentally, or both) or in a tense and awkward situation (because your sweetheart relationship isn’t so sweet this year) surely is not the end of the world, but **if this day and the lead up to it is shining a light on some of the harsh realities of your marriage**, then it surely isn’t easy or fun to get through it. So, **what does a distant or tense Valentine’s Day mean for your relationship?** **Is it an opportunity to get serious and work on things between you — or is it the final evidence that your relationship is a lost cause and it’s time to call it quits?** With so many expectations and pressure on holidays like this one, **it’s no wonder that so many couples file for divorce** shortly thereafter. It’s not always just the day either — sometimes it’s the realization that you can’t take a get-away together because finances are so tight (as usual), you can’t agree on something you’d like to do together, you know you’ll just fight the whole time, or you simply lack the desire to spend time alone together. **So, maybe you can spend this day focusing on yourself instead** — doing some reflection, self-care, and building yourself up a bit, so that you can face what the future holds — whether that means investing time and energy into rebuilding your relationship, or calling it quits. Whichever way you’re feeling things will go, **take some time to carefully reflect** and perhaps wait until the pressure of the holiday is over. Some people just don’t do well with rising to a prescribed set of expectations and have their own way of showing how much they love and care for you and holidays can bring out the worst in people as well, as so many of us have some “history” with holidays that doesn’t serve us well. If this issue has been ongoing and this truly is just the final straw, then **perhaps it’s time to get some information and explore your options**. Our Providers are happy to help you to understand your options and the amicable divorce process, so that you can create a plan and feel equipped to make a decision. Remember, **divorce doesn’t have to be completely ugly**, and it very often (to many people’s surprise) **is not**. The amicable divorce process for uncontested divorces often brings ex-spouses closer in the long run by **alleviating the stress and pressure of the unhappy marriage** and allowing couples to come to agreements about what **makes sense and is best for everyone involved**. Because the horrible things aren’t usually said, awful battles involving attorneys aren’t in the mix, and using the kids as leverage to get what you want or punish your spouse isn’t an option, **perhaps an amicable divorce is the best gift you can give yourself (and your spouse) for Valentine’s Day**, and by this time next year, perhaps you’ll both be in a better place. **Contact a Provider near you to learn more about your amicable divorce options.** \*\*\* **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Is It Time To Divorce? **Tags:** divorce, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day And Divorce --- ### [Is it time to break the news?](https://dwdignity.com/is-it-time-to-break-the-news/) **Published:** December 31, 2020 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The new year is almost upon us, and if you’ve decided to pursue a divorce, you may want to have the difficult conversation and get your divorce filed now, before the full onslaught of filings that come every January. Divorce, however, is not something to be rushed into, so taking the time to do the pre-work is far preferable to meeting a filing date target. **Content:** The new year is almost upon us, and if you’ve decided to pursue a divorce, you may want to have the difficult conversation and get your divorce filed now, before the full onslaught of filings that come every January. Divorce, however, is not something to be rushed into, so taking the time to do the pre-work is far preferable to meeting a filing date target. When you are clear and ready, and if you’re considering pursuing an amicable route, then it’s important to take steps to support that from the very beginning — when you tell your spouse that you’d like a divorce. **So, how do you break the news?** Just a couple steps back first though… Before you consider asking your spouse for a divorce, you may want to consider working with a good therapist in order to understand and process your emotions, decisions, and find your (calm) voice. Further, a divorce professional can help you to enter into your divorce with realistic expectations, and therefore, less disappointments and regret. Next, you may want to consider what support you’ll be able to gather around yourself as you go through this process — a process that without this support system can feel very isolating and scary. Whether it’s friends, family, or a good support group, having people who have your back and can listen, offer a hug, or a place to crash in a pinch, can make all of the difference and also counter some of the less-supportive or -constructive friends and family you’ll face. So, now that you’ve done the pre-work, and are absolutely sure that you want a divorce, choose the right time and place to tell your spouse. Conveying the decision during an argument, when the kids are around, at an event, or as another major life event (such as a job layoff, death of a loved one or a significant illness) is occurring, will not support a calm, clear, and rational discussion, and will likely only create more resentment and anger. Here are a few more quick tips to support a productive and calm conversation that will lead into a more amicable divorce process: - **Minimize distractions.** Turn off your cell-phone, ask your spouse to turn off theirs, and make sure you’re not expecting any company. Make sure the kids have appropriate, outside supervision for even more time than you anticipate. - **Plan enough time** for each of you to discuss, ask questions, and provide (high-level, constructive, non-blaming) reasons, instead of just dropping the news and walking away. - **Plan and choose your words carefully.** Be gentle, but firm. Don’t come into the conversation with anger, frustration, or blame. Work out your emotions with a therapist or counselor before you approach your spouse. Be gentle and compassionate, but firm. Explain how you reached this decision and be clear that there isn’t space to negotiate the decision. Make it clear that you’re not just blowing off the marriage lightly over a couple of recent issues, but that there are deeper issues that you do not feel can be resolved. You can speak at a very high level about the issues, but going into the details will inevitably lead down a rabbit hole, and is also discouraged legally and financially, unless you’ve already spoken with a divorce legal processional. When you state your reasons, make sure they’re not in the form of attacks. *And yes, use those “I” statements you’ve heard all about (instead of the accusatory “you”).* - **Brace for impact.** This decision may come as a surprise to your spouse, so be sure to give them some time to process this significant information and be prepared for tears, outbursts, and defensive words or behavior. **Be prepared to pause and resume with a professional.** If things aren’t going well with the discussion, offer to pause the conversation and resume it with a divorce counselor or therapist. Beyond how you convey your wishes, you should also be prepared to see the process through in an amicable fashion. That means committing to a few things: - **Full financial disclosure.** If you can’t be open and honest about this matter, then an amicable divorce may not be possible, because you’ll be asked to share and negotiate the division of these items with your spouse. If there’s any dishonesty or hiding here, it can detrimentally impact the trust necessary to continue the amicable process. - **Taking a no-blame, reasonable, and calm engagement with your spouse.** If you’re using the divorce as a way to get back at them, punish them in some way, or work out your anger, starting with counseling may be in your best interest. Steering clear of alcohol and drugs, which can heighten emotions, can be detrimental as well, so choosing to avoid those while you’re in the divorce process can be very beneficial to all involved. - **Putting your children first.** Think about how each decision will affect your children (or at least your extended family and friends, if you don’t have kids). If you keep the ultimate goal in mind, to get everyone through this process as unscathed as possible, then every decision in the process becomes a little clearer. - **Giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt.** Unless/until you have a reason to doubt what they’re stating, try to keep the peace and show you trust them, while still protecting yourself and verifying the important items, within reason. - **Holding off on dating until your divorce is final.** Adding anyone else into the mix during the process can only cause hurt to at least one party, and, at-least, more complications. - **Avoiding trash-talking your spouse or engaging in hurtful gossip about them (especially around your kids).** Unless you’re out to actually hurt your kids or make yourself look bad, avoid the temptation. If you need to get things off of your chest, tell it to your therapist or counselor. ***In summary, remember that you’ve spent a fair amount of time with this person, have likely been through “some stuff” together — perhaps you have merged families or even brought children into the world together. Aiming to close the marriage in the same positive, loving, and respectful way as you entered into it, will help to heal and move into the next phase of your lives — perhaps even as friends.*** For more information on amicable divorce, please view our other blog articles on this site and reach out to [a Provider in your area](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). More Info and Sources: https://goodmenproject.com/divorce/want-amicable-divorce-follow-30-tips-cmtt/ https://www.equitablemediation.com/blog/how-to-ask-for-divorce \*\*\* **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Divorce Papers, Divorce Process, Is It Time To Divorce?, Mediation **Tags:** amicable, breaking the news, divorce --- ### [What You Really Lose When You “Go After” Your Spouse in Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/what-you-really-lose-when-you-go-after-your-spouse-in-divorce/) **Published:** March 22, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** You want to “get” your spouse and make them truly miserable. Hurting them will most assuredly make you feel better and set things right for the next chapter in your life. Hitting them in the wallet and their relationship with their kids will make them really see the errors of their ways and regret the day they ever hurt you. They’ll probably even want you back. **Content:** **You. Are. Enraged.** You want to “get” your spouse and make them *truly* miserable. Hurting them will most assuredly make *you* feel better and set things right for the next chapter in your life. Hitting them in the wallet and their relationship with their kids will make them *really* see the errors of their ways and regret the day they ever hurt you. They’ll probably even want you back. **What better way to accomplish these things than to hire a badass attorney and take everything you can possibly get from them (including your kids). You know… *really* make them pay for how they *really* hurt you.** Well, sure. You can take that route. Chances are, though, that’s not really what you want. And, *what does that actually accomplish?* For one, **you can lose your integrity.** Perhaps you spoke with an attorney, who has assured you that your ex will suffer (especially financially). They said that you’ll surely win and that you’ll get everything — *even the kids.* Your ex will end up with nothing and will have to pay you a ton—which is just what they deserve after treating you so badly. They will be truly miserable. ***They will be “sorry.”*** In reality, however, ***you will likely be the one who is sorry.*** When you hire a divorce attorney with the intent to take total advantage of your ex, who has hurt you so much, you actually just compromise your dignity, self worth, and self respect. When you stop feeling so angry, you will likely feel regret. Secondly, **don’t believe everything that’s pitched to you at your most vulnerable time.** Most courts are now set up so that the worst case means dividing marital assets evenly, so that you each receive a fair share. No matter what your family attorney tells you, you will likely spend a lot of money fighting over something you’re not going to get anyway. Even worse, it is going to take you back years. A**nd who will suffer? You will. Your kids will.** Everyone loses and will have a harder time healing from the devastation this knock-down, drag-out approach to divorce will cause. To expand on that, don’t forget that **your ex is a parent to your children, whether you like it or not**, and the court is simply not going to let them drop out of your children’s lives—it’s just not going to happen. **Most courts these days want both parents involved in their children’s lives.** (Now, if your ex is physically abusive or has an addiction that is dangerous for your children, that’s a different story.) The court is not going to care that your spouse decided that they didn’t love you and maybe moved on to another relationship or that they hurt you so much emotionally that you feel you will never recover. *No, they don’t.* **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Co-Parenting, Dealing with Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce, mediation, Uncontested Divorce --- ### [Working on Your Relationship — Even After You’re Divorced](https://dwdignity.com/working-on-your-relationship-even-after-youre-divorced/) **Published:** January 19, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** So, you’ve finally finalized your divorce; so, doesn’t that mean that having to work on your relationship with that person is finally over? If you don’t have children (or a shared network of friends and family or other “entanglements” outside of those), then perhaps the answer is ‘yes.’ **Content:** So, you’ve *finally* finalized your divorce; so, doesn’t that mean that having to work on your relationship with that person is *finally* over? If you don’t have children (or a shared network of friends and family or other “entanglements” outside of those), then perhaps the answer is ‘yes.’ But… if you *do* have children (especially school-aged children), then this may be where the real challenging work comes in (at least in the beginning). The divorced couples, with children, are the ones we’ll be talking about here. According to [Anthony Charuvastra, MD](https://med.nyu.edu/faculty/anthony-charuvastra), adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NYU Langone and member of its Child Study Center, “Post-divorce parenting falls into three categories: conflicted, parallel, or cooperative.” When they’re starting out in their new arrangement, parents generally fall into the “conflicted” or “parallel” categories. As the terms suggest, “conflicted” parents are often still arguing with each other about items related to parenting, money, or the reasons that led them to their divorce, where “parallel” parents generally disconnect from each other, don’t really communicate, and don’t work with the other parent to ensure consistency between households. In his work, Dr. Charuvastra has found that **“children of divorce do best when parents are flexible with each other under changing circumstances, communicate well with each other about how they are adapting, and work together to solve new, specific challenges,”** so working towards this “cooperative” parenting model, when co-parents are able, seems to be ideal (where communication is safe and doesn’t pose a risk to involved parties). **So, how do you go from a conflicted or parallel to a cooperative parenting model?** Depending on your situation, you may find that **family therapy**, or **“parenting after divorce” classes** will help you to identify the tools and methods that will work best for your family to function most effectively and get you to that “cooperative” model. Additionally, you may lay out the **agreements of your parenting arrangements in greater detail**, so that there is less room for misunderstandings, oversights, or inconsistencies across households. Including items such as schedules, routines, activities, screen time limits, safety protocols, and other, often overlooked items, can make all of the difference, and employing a communication app, such as “[Our Family Wizard](https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/)” or even just using a simple shared online calendar can help to avoid missteps. As we’ve [posted recently](https://dwdignity.com/time-break-news/), the way that you go into a divorce can greatly impact the long-term relationship you have with your ex-spouse and how/how much the children are impacted (both immediately and long-term). Keeping ever-focused on the best interests of your children can drive behaviors and decisions in the right direction. Choosing divorce mediation (over traditional litigation methods) to work out your divorce, has also been showing to be very supportive of a more amicable outcome. If you can commit to a few agreements (detailed in this wonder article from the University of Florida, “[Healthy Coparenting After Divorce](https://smartcouples.ifas.ufl.edu/divorcedremarried/divorcing-with-mutual-respect-/healthy-coparenting-after-divorce/)”), such as (to paraphrase a few): - keeping parent-parent conflict away from the kids; - respecting the terms of the divorce (and parenting agreement); - communicating consistently about schedules, routines, activities, and changes; - shielding kids from legal details of the divorce; - not making kids the messengers or intermediaries; - flexibility (within reason); - honoring your child’s relationship with his/her other parent; and - tolerating/embracing inevitable changes; Then, you can have a “fighting chance” at making the new co-parenting arrangement as “cooperative,” peaceful, and amicable as possible — for *everyone* involved. *If you’re looking for more resources or information about amicable divorce and successful co-parenting options, please contact a [Divorce With Dignity Provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) near you.* Other Resources: >*Divorce Magazine*: [Successful Co-Parenting Communication After Divorce](https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/co-parenting-communication) >HelpGuide: [Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/co-parenting-tips-for-divorced-parents.htm) Sources: >[Divorce, Co-Parenting & COVID-19: Challenges & Opportunities](https://nyulangone.org/news/divorce-co-parenting-covid-19-challenges-opportunities) >[Healthy Coparenting After Divorce](https://smartcouples.ifas.ufl.edu/divorcedremarried/divorcing-with-mutual-respect-/healthy-coparenting-after-divorce/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Co-Parenting, Emotional Effects of Divorce, Mediation --- ### [10 Steps to Divorce Without Litigation](https://dwdignity.com/10-steps-to-divorce-without-litigation/) **Published:** April 6, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Well, you’ve come to the decision that you have to divorce and you really want to get through this as peacefully as possible without spending your life savings. Just remember that as long as you and your spouse are in agreement, you can pretty much do whatever you want—it’s just a matter of figuring out the best strategy to get through the family law court system. Here are some things you can do to avoid litigation and get your process through your local court system. **Content:** # 10 Steps to Divorce Without Litigation Apr 6, 2021 | [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/) **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** alimony, child support, divorce, family law, peaceful divorce, steps to divorce --- ### [Are You Happily Married?](https://dwdignity.com/are-you-happily-married/) **Published:** October 12, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** A happy marriage may mean different things to different couples, but once fractures begin to appear in a relationship, the need for separation becomes clear. This is due to the simple fact that healthy relationships require certain qualities or traits to ensure that every party is happy. **Content:** # Are You Happily Married? Oct 12, 2021 | [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/), [Is It Time To Divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/category/is-it-time-to-divorce/) **Categories:** Blog, Is It Time To Divorce? **Tags:** divorce, Happily Married, marriage --- ### [Celebrating Fathers — and Beyond](https://dwdignity.com/celebrating-fathers-and-beyond/) **Published:** June 3, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Since Father’s Day is just around the corner (Sunday, June 20th!), we wanted to take the opportunity to gratefully acknowledge the fathers, dads, pas, and papas (for those who celebrate this day), along with the guardians, co-parents, and caretakers of these blossoming humans. **Content:** # Celebrating Fathers — and Beyond Jun 3, 2021 | [Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/category/amicable-divorce-and-conflict-resolutio/), [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/), [Children and Divorce Rates](https://dwdignity.com/category/children-and-divorce-rates/), [Co-Parenting](https://dwdignity.com/category/co-parenting/), [Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/category/divorce-process/), [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Children and Divorce Rates, Co-Parenting, Divorce Process, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Family Structure, Father's Day, Prioritize Children, Stay Involved --- ### [Children of Divorce Returning To School](https://dwdignity.com/children-of-divorce-returning-to-school/) **Published:** September 10, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Even though you’ve chosen to take the amicable divorce route, the emotional process can still be difficult for those involved to handle. As adults, we are naturally better equipped to deal with our emotions than our children, who may have previously been relatively sheltered and protected. **Content:** # Children of Divorce Returning To School Sep 10, 2021 | [Blog](https://dwdignity.com/category/blog/) **Categories:** Blog **Tags:** children and divorce, children Of divorce, divorce, Divorce And Children, School --- ### [Choosing Independence Over An Unhappy Dependent Marriage](https://dwdignity.com/choosing-independence-over-an-unhappy-dependent-marriage/) **Published:** August 23, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Even when you are in an unhappy marriage, deciding to divorce is never easy. It is all the more difficult when you feel emotionally or financially dependent on your spouse. Fear of being unable to take care of yourself without the help of your spouse can be immobilizing. **Content:** # Choosing Independence Over An Unhappy Dependent Marriage Aug 23, 2021 | [Emotional Effects of Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/category/emotional-effects-of-divorce/) **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** Divorce Advice, Divorce support, Emotional Dependency, Financial Dependency, Financial Independence, Financial Planning For Divorce, Unhappy Marriage --- ### [Divorce is a Declaration of Independence with Only Two Signers](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-is-a-declaration-of-independence-with-only-two-signers/) **Published:** July 1, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** This weekend, many U.S. Americans will be celebrating the 245th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence. We’ll be surrounded by neighbors, friends, family, nervous pets, and possibly fireworks. On the day, we’ll spend some time thinking back and about what freedom means to us and why it’s so important **Content:** This weekend, many U.S. Americans will be celebrating the [245th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence](https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/july-4th). We’ll be surrounded by neighbors, friends, family, nervous pets, and possibly fireworks. On the day, we’ll spend some time thinking back and about what freedom means to us and why it’s so important (or, we’ll just pound a lot of barbecued foods and salad creations and enjoy the various freedoms we have). It has been a long-time coming that we are able to gather together and celebrate one of the most important rights we have — freedom. What happens, though, when we don’t have freedom — right in *our very own home?* What if our every word, movement, action, decision, and thought revolves around ***just trying to keep the peace and avoid a conflictual situation?*** **What if…** - We’re paralyzed by fear? - We feel like we can’t do anything (or anything right)? - We can’t have a full life because of spousal jealousy issues? - We can’t trust because we’ve been scorned by our spouse? - We can’t get beyond resentment and anger? In his very influential pamphlet, [Common Sense](https://www.gutenberg.org/files/147/147-h/147-h.htm) (published in early 1776), Thomas Paine wrote, **“We have it in our power to begin the world over again.”** So, if we were able to *break free* and *begin again* on this massive scale (as we did in this country), **why can’t we break free and begin again with our individual life?** There are many ways people break free, begin again, and experience freedom and a renewed sense of independence once they end their marriage. For some, it’s goes so far as a physical freedom from an abusive situation. *I, like so many others, was stuck in an abusive marriage. And even though my husband at the time and I had separated, it wasn’t until our divorce was finalized and there was some distance between us that I was able to actually breathe again.* *You see. When you are in an abusive marriage/relationship, it is hard to see your life outside of that relationship. Everything is about your partner. I was crippled with neediness, love for him, and FEAR.* *That all changed when I found freedom after divorce.* *Amoya Shante,* [*How I Found Freedom In Divorce*](https://www.amoyashante.com/found-freedom-divorce/) For others, freedom comes simply in the acceptance of the experience that a so-called “failed relationship” offered. I love this [quote from an article](https://instituteforfunctionalhealthcoaching.com/freedom-after-divorce/) I happened upon: *Freedom comes in many forms – the freedom of our country, freedom from a job you hate, freedom from old thoughts, freedom from toxic people.* *This fourth of July, I’m giving myself the freedom to move forward and take care of myself first and I am going to celebrate and embrace it.* *I’m returning to the me that was buried for so long. The person who loves to offer beautifully wrapped gifts to those who are willing to receive them; the person who doesn’t waste their gifts on those who don’t see them – or me – as valuable to their lives.* *And let me tell you – that is a freeing feeling.* — [Institute for Functional Health Coaching](https://instituteforfunctionalhealthcoaching.com/freedom-after-divorce/) **So, on the day, July 4th, declare *your* independence, in whatever way that is necessary for you.** Independence (or freedom) from relational distrust, doubts, blame, resentment, pain and suffering, victimhood, feelings of failure, guilt, shame, engaging in conflict, abuse (mental and/or physical), mutual isolation, and maybe even *(if you need to)* — your entire marriage. Choose, instead, happiness and health, peace, harmony, courage, confidence, forgiveness, relief, and pride. #### **“Freedom to learn, live, and love.”** You can even get a [divorce tattoo](https://www.yourtango.com/2017304564/25-divorce-tattoo-ideas-celebrate-your-newfound-freedom) to celebrate, if you feel so inclined… **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Blog, Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** amicable divorce, peaceful divorce --- ### [How much does a divorce cost?](https://dwdignity.com/how-much-does-a-divorce-cost/) **Published:** January 23, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. **Content:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. Divorce With Dignity helps you avoid stress and financial burden of divorce by providing a faster, cost-effective solution. With us, you will save thousands of dollars in the process because we work on helping you achieve a divorce without litigation. What’s more, by offering you affordable divorce rates, we give you back precious peace-of-mind. We will help you through the divorce process with compassion and understanding, helping you with divorce planning that is fair to both spouses and the children. [Contact a Divorce With Dignity Provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/ "Peaceful Divorce Professionals") in your area for more information or to get started. **Categories:** Dealing with Divorce Lawyers **Tags:** cost of divorce, divorce and money, divorce costs, divorce court, Divorce Lawyers, divorce legal services, Divorce Process, Divorce support --- ### [How to prepare for divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-prepare-for-divorce/) **Published:** January 23, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. **Content:** In preparing for a divorce, we recommend the following steps – 1. **Get your paperwork together.** Don’t worry if you can’t gather everything right away; just get what you can to help you with step 2. Start with finding your latest tax statement, and creating a record of your assets and debts (bank accounts, loans, credit cards, mortgages, investments, properties, etc.). 2. **Figure out what you will need in terms of assets and support from the marriage settlement.** Think about both the most you would want and your bottom line – you will probably end up somewhere in the middle. Develop a proposed budget as to what you’ll need to live on after the divorce. Engage the help of a financial professional if you need help with this (we can provide you with referrals for this and other kinds of assistance ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)). If finances are limited, it is definitely to your advantage to avoid litigation. We can help you obtain your divorce with a lot less cost as well as less stress. 3. **Talk with your spouse.** Does he/she also want the divorce? If you both feel that divorce is the best solution, and you are both willing to cooperate to work through the divorce process amicably, then you should start talking about the following issues – - Living arrangements - Children (how to tell them, parenting plan, visitation, etc.) - Finances - Child support - Alimony / spousal support - Property 4. **Develop your divorce support team.** During your discussions on the above topics, you may find that you both are in agreement on everything, or that there are some issues that need to be worked out. You may also discover that there are areas in which you need some support or counseling. When you work with Divorce With Dignity ([findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/)), we offer a safe place for you to discuss these issues, plan for your divorce, and get referrals for any type of assistance you may need to get you through this. This could include mediators, legal support, emotional support, financial counseling, life coaching, support for your children, referrals for moving companies, and more. We also help you file the divorce papers. Preparing for a divorce can be a daunting task. Let us help you through it -– with dignity! ### Try these other topics for more information: [The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Considering a Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/blog/emotional-effects-of-divorce/the-5-biggest-mistakes-people-make-when-considering-a-divorce/ "The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Considering a Divorce") [Reducing The Cost Of Divorce With Professional Planning](https://dwdignity.com/blog/divorce-support/reducing-the-cost-of-divorce-with-professional-planning/ "Reducing The Cost Of Divorce With Professional Planning") [Making The Divorce Decision](https://dwdignity.com/blog/emotional-effects-of-divorce/making-the-divorce-decision/ "Making The Divorce Decision") **Categories:** Divorce Process **Tags:** dissolution, Divorce Advice, Divorce Process, divorced, peaceful divorce, planning for divorce, preparing for divorce, separation papers --- ### [How To Talk To Your Children About Your Upcoming Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-talk-to-your-children-about-your-upcoming-divorce/) **Published:** August 16, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** As a parent, your natural instincts will encourage you to protect your child in all areas of their life. **Content:** As a parent, your natural instincts will encourage you to protect your child in all areas of their life. For example, whenever you cross the road, you’ll find yourself reaching for their hand to guide them across safely. These instincts will also lead to you trying to protect them emotionally – which means you may leave them out of difficult conversations or choose to keep them in the dark when it comes to your divorce. While this response is perfectly natural, after all, no parent wants to see their child upset – removing them from the situation could actually lead to further troubles down the line. As a result, it’s vital that you find a way to talk about divorce with your child. This will allow them to better understand what is happening and ensure that they [handle their parent’s divorce in a healthy way](https://dwdignity.com/how-to-tell-if-your-kids-are-handling-divorce-in-a-healthy-way/). **Let them know what is happening early on in the process.** Divorce brings about many changes in your children’s lives. For example, you may choose to move house as you begin living separately and co-parenting. These changes can be difficult for children of all ages to handle – so it’s vital that you provide them with an advanced warning as to what is happening. Once you and your partner have decided to separate, give yourself a bit of time to process your own emotions before bringing your child into the conversation. **Remember, divorce doesn’t have to be a scary word.** Many parents chose to skip over the word ‘divorce’ as often as possible. For example, you may instead say that you are ‘taking a break’ instead, or simply that ‘Daddy is going to live in a new house.’ However, by using the correct terminology, you’re actually making it easier for your child to understand what is happening – especially if you take the time to explain to them what divorce means. The level of detail you provide here will likely depend on the age of the child. For example, you should keep it brief for younger children and explain it to them in simple terms, whereas teenagers may be more curious about the legal side of things or the divorce process. While honesty and transparency are important during this conversation, you do not have to provide your children with the exact reasons for divorce. **Have both parents present during the conversation.** While your romantic relationship with your partner may have drawn to a close, it’s important that you continue to work as a team as you work your way through a peaceful, [amicable divorce](https://dwdignity.com/). You can achieve this goal by ensuring that both parents are present during the initial conversations regarding your separation. This will help your child recognize that while things may be changing, you’ll still remain a family unit and can still help each other when you need it. It also stops the child from blaming one parent for the separation. For example, if Mom breaks the news when Dad isn’t present, they could subconsciously begin to think that their Dad is the reason why their family is no longer together. Working as a team is a great way to start your co-parenting journey as it encourages you to [work on your relationship even after you’re divorced](https://dwdignity.com/working-on-your-relationship-even-after-youre-divorced/). **Have the conversation in an environment where they feel comfortable.** Hearing that your parents are separating is never going to be easy – so it’s vital that you find a way to make the process as easy as possible for your children. One way you can do this is by having the conversation in an environment that is familiar to them, where they feel particularly safe or comfortable. For example, this could include the family home. If they begin to feel upset or overwhelmed, you should also give them the chance to step back from the conversation until they feel ready to discuss it once more. Sometimes they need only a matter of minutes to collect their thoughts, while sometimes, it could take much longer. Either way, giving them their own time to grieve and process their emotions enables you to provide them with the [emotional support](https://dwdignity.com/can-look-emotional-support-divorce/) they need. **Leave room for questions.** Children are naturally rather inquisitive, so they are bound to have a lot of questions about the divorce or what this means for their future. For example, they may want to know details about co-parenting, who they are staying with, and when. Even if you don’t have the answers right away, it’s important that you let them ask as many questions as they want without trying to cut the conversation short. Asking questions is the way children learn about the world, and it will help them come to an understanding as to what is happening. In short, there are various steps you can take to start the conversation regarding divorce with your children. However, if you want a little more support, why not reach out to a Divorce With Dignity Provider? Your provider will be able to provide you with all manner of divorce help, from introducing you to conflict resolution strategies to talking you through the process and explaining divorce papers and family law. Get in touch today to find out more! **Categories:** Blog **Tags:** divorce, Upcoming Divorce --- ### [Is it time to make it official?](https://dwdignity.com/is-it-time-to-make-it-official/) **Published:** April 30, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** It can be tough to be a stepparent — even in the best of situations. When a stepparent is, in effect, assuming the daily role of a primary parent, the legal limitations of not being acknowledged in that primary role, can be especially frustrating. **Content:** **It can be tough to be a stepparent — *even in the best of situations*.** When a stepparent is, in effect, assuming the daily role of a primary parent, the legal limitations of not being acknowledged in that primary role, can be especially frustrating. Depending on a number of factors, such as the biological parents’ roles in the child(ren)’s life, the living arrangements and stability of the home(s), the age of the child(ren), and financial circumstances, it may be beneficial to the custodial parent, their spouse, and/or the child(ren), to be adopted by the custodial parent’s spouse (“the stepparent”); however, ***this is not a situation that should be entered into in haste.*** Because adoptive parents assume financial and legal responsibility for the child(ren), thinking about **your level of commitment and ability to serve in this role for the long-term** is just one of the many important considerations going into a significant and life-changing decision like this. Other important considerations include **what the child wants, what’s best in both the short- and long-term for them, if you think you’ll get consent from the biological parent to terminate their parental rights to the child, an honest assessment about your (and your spouse’s) motivations for this adoption.** Yes, that’s a lot to consider… **So, after you’ve given it thoughtful consideration, what’s the first step?** There’s conflicting guidance on this over various top adoption sites (we’ve noted some of those resources at the end of this article). Some advise that once you make a decision, you should hire an experienced legal professional (whether a legal document specialist or an attorney). In our experience, however, **engaging a licensed family therapist, experienced with stepparent adoptions, is the critical first step.** You can only know what you know, so because of that and because stepparent adoption can have adverse, short- and long-term impacts on the child(ren), it’s important to explore the motivations behind your intention to adopt, the specific immediate and potential longer-term impacts on those involved, and the best time and way to go about this, should everyone choose to proceed — these discussions may even include the parent who would be terminating their parental rights to the child(ren). **Many parents *only* focus on the many compelling reasons to adopt their stepchild(ren), including:** - It can provide stability for the child (emotional, physical, and financial). - It can help the child to feel safe and wanted in their home and family. - In some cases, the adoption will sever links to a parent that is negative toward the child; this can give the child a certain feeling of freedom. - Legally binding a stepparent and child can prevent separation in the case of the child’s birth parent passing away. However, with all of these compelling reasons (and many viral ‘stepparent proposal videos’ online), **some people can get a little blinded by the romantic notion of adoption and fail to properly consider some of the less romantic aspects.** Since adoption is such a big commitment and transition, it’s very important to explore those. According to [AptParenting’s article *The Good and Not-so-good Effects of Adoption on Kids and Adults*](https://aptparenting.com/the-effects-of-adoption), there are several potential psychological consequences (both positive and negative) of adoption (and, presumably, that includes stepparent adoption), which, for the adopted child(ren) can include: - feelings such as a lack of control over the decisions made - feelings of loss or longing for for their biological parent, or - an inability to accept the adoptive parent as their own. There are also many potential negative impacts on the adults involved. Therefore, it is prudent to become aware of these before entering into the adoption process — and **working through the potential impacts with a family therapist, in advance, can be very beneficial.** So, now that you’ve explored (and resolved, where possible) the potential effects of adoption, we believe that **it’s *now* time to call in a family law professional.** *(Requirements vary by state, so be sure to ask what’s required in your state before you retain anyone.)* Once you’ve secured legal support, they can assist you through the rest of the process (based on your unique situation and the requirements in your state), which usually involves these additional steps: - **Getting Consent and/or File a Motion to Terminate the Replaced Parent’s Parental Rights** - *Some states require a written consent, while others require a court appearance. Some states even require that the parent receive education on his or rights before being able to terminate them. Of course, in the case of abandonment, consent may be difficult to get. Whatever the case, it’s important that parents be given the chance to terminate their rights before you proceed. Unlawful consent will only cause problems, like a revoking of the adoption.* (1) - You may also need to get permission from the child… - **Filing a Petition to Adopt** - This will usually include background information about you and your spouse and will usually require that you complete and submit a criminal history background check as well. - **Finalization** - During this required court hearing, you will need to appear before a judge and make a statement about your desire to become the child’s legal parent. Depending on the child’s age, the judge may also ask for their opinion. Once the adoption is finalized, you’ll also need to **apply for a new birth certificate** so that the child’s new name (if updated) and stepparent are listed (and celebrate!). **Categories:** Adoption (Parents and Stepparents), Blog **Tags:** Second Parent Adoption, Stepparent Adoption, Uncontested Adoption --- ### [National Single Parents Day : March 21, 2021](https://dwdignity.com/national-single-parents-day-march-21-2021/) **Published:** March 31, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** This month, we celebrated National Single Parents Day, which acknowledges over 55 million parents in the US alone. In fact, according to the Pew Research Center, FACT TANK, the US has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. **Content:** *Author: Anonymous* This month, we celebrated **National Single Parents Day**, which acknowledges **over 55 million parents** in the US alone. In fact, according to the [Pew Research Center, FACT TANK](https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/12/12/u-s-children-more-likely-than-children-in-other-countries-to-live-with-just-one-parent/), **the US has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households.** *So… Do we get a prize for that or something?* *Oh, that’s right, we get a day. Okay… cool.* Now, you may not have ever heard about this day or realized it was happening just last week. As I look up at my wall calendar, which lists all sorts of holidays and observed days from around the world, I see absolutely nothing about it. I don’t recall seeing anything on social media or on the news. I don’t recall hearing “Happy Single Parents Day” from anyone or receiving a little card with a sad little plant. Well, so it goes… This is par for the course for many single parents. We do so much to keep things running and keep our kids fed, happy, clean, and unaware of how much work it all is — and we rarely receive any sort of acknowledgement. But, ***we’re not bitter.*** We do it because **we love our kids, and well… because we have to** — even when we’re too tired, overly hungry, having a really bad day, or just really wanting to tune out and binge watch something not animated and without interruptions. **We do it the best we can. We (often) do it with a smile. We do it.** *(And then, we often collapse in a heap.)* So, as a single parent myself, I absolutely celebrate, **every day**, the close bond I have with my daughter — and I *(really)* wouldn’t have it any other way. Sure, it was hard when she was younger. For example, I didn’t get to shower at all for the first week (or so) after she was born, because there was no one to hold her while I jumped in. There was no one there to take her for 5 minutes when I felt like I couldn’t keep my eyes open for even 30 seconds more. Further, trying to cover child care payments with no child support (at all), was very, very stressful (to say the least). It all worked out though and I never felt put upon. I may be amongst the very lucky ones though. I know plenty of people who deal with the regular heartbreak of arguing with their co-parent about how to raise their kid(s), splitting the time they have with their child between co-parents, and all of the other challenging things that come with being a single/co- parent. Others mourn the loss of their spouse on top of taking on the challenge of raising their children on their own. So, whatever your situation… if you’re also a single parent (whether divorced, widowed, never married, partnered, etc.), we got our day — that kind of day where everyone tells you to “get a babysitter and take yourself out!” For me personally, I never had the extra money for a babysitter, didn’t want one, and the celebration days were the days that I wanted to take out my girl and enjoy every moment with her.\* If you’re not a single parent, thanks for reading… I’ve always appreciated it when people took the time to get to know what it’s like for me — and offered to help even! *Want to know a little bit more about single parents?* **Here are 5 Fun Facts from [National Today:](https://nationaltoday.com/national-single-parent-day/)** 1. *Nearly a quarter of the children in America are born to a single mother.* 2. *One survey found that the vast majority of single parents were gainfully employed, on top of raising a child — this includes 8 out of 10 single mothers and 9 out of 10 single fathers.* 3. *The two groups with the largest increase in single parentage are white and Hispanic families.* 4. *Nearly ⅓ of all single-parent families live in poverty and receive some kind of government financial assistance.* 5. *The average age for a single parent is 39 years old.* So, **Happy (belated) National Single Parents Day!** As far as I’m concerned though, ***every day is Single Parents Day!*** *\*Something I think that many married parents don’t realize is that for a lot of single parents who share custody, they don’t feel like they get nearly enough time with their kids — and the time they do have is often filled with homework, friends, chores, school, and sleeping. So, when you’re offering to help, sometimes offering to take on a chore or fund a parent-child outing is even better than offering to babysit! Any offer, though, is greatly appreciated (I can tell you first hand.) It does take a village to raise a child — no matter how capable, determined, and resourceful we may be.* \*\*\* **Categories:** Blog, Children and Divorce Rates, Co-Parenting **Tags:** coparenting, single parents --- ### [Reducing your Chances of Post-Divorce Litigation](https://dwdignity.com/reducing-your-chances-of-post-divorce-litigation/) **Published:** April 21, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** You have been thinking about divorce for quite some time, and now, you’re finally going through with it — with the hope that it’ll all be behind you…very soon. So, the last thing you’d want (after you’ve spent so much time, money, and energy to finalize your divorce) is to land right back in the middle of it, litigating with your ex over the details of child custody, visitation, child and spousal support payments, or really anything. **Content:** You have been thinking about divorce for quite some time, and now, **you’re finally going through with it — with the hope that it’ll all be behind you…very soon.** So, the last thing you’d want (after you’ve spent so much time, money, and energy to finalize your divorce) is to land right back in the middle of it, litigating with your ex over the details of child custody, visitation, child and spousal support payments, or really *anything*. With every misinterpretation, oversight, and renegotiation comes more conflict, more stress, and more time and money spent in your attempts to resolve. **So, is that just part of the deal with divorce? Just accepting that it will *never really end?*** No, it’s not — and no one should have to endure ongoing drama, stress, and conflict following a divorce. Before you finalize your divorce, you and your soon-to-be ex spouse can document all of your agreements in a legally binding, enforceable, and detailed written contract. This contract is called different things in different states, including a ***Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA)***, *Divorce Settlement Agreement*, *Stipulation of Settlement*, or *Separation Agreement*, but they are all essentially the same thing. This **contract**, once signed by both parties, will become part of your divorce judgment — and after court issues a judgment of divorce that includes a Marital Settlement Agreement, the matter is usually final, and the divorce may not be challenged *(barring some limited circumstances, such as fraud or a mutual mistake)*. These contracts aim to detail each of the agreements about commonly disputed items, such as: - spousal and child support provisions; - custody and visitation agreements through to emancipation; - division of property and assets; - allocation of retirement accounts; and - the procedure for post-divorce litigation (should it become necessary for missed details or changed circumstances). Some of these contracts (depending on in which state you’re filing) even include penalty provisions intended: **to secure post-divorce harmony and stability; as a deterrent for non-compliance that’s not economically motivated; and as a means of compensation for the emotional harm resulting from such a breach.** Where these provisions have been included, they have been found to be effective at reducing “ulterior motives” by the other spouse. If you and your spouse are considering an uncontested divorce, **employing a legal professional (like a trained mediator) to help you draft, review, and revise your agreement, will help ensure that it will hold up in court and cover all of the bases (in great detail).** If you’re interested in spending your time and money on other, more enjoyable activities, consider using a mediator, which can be more expedient and cost effective than using an attorney. Should there be an unfortunate (but usually anticipated) violation of the provisions, you will be able to use the signed contract (which became part of your divorce judgment) to pursue resolution with the court.\* If you are able to work with your spouse to come to agreements (on your own, or with the help of a trained mediator), then a settlement agreement can be quite preferable to litigation, which can be emotionally draining, time-consuming and expensive. If you’d like more information, **please reach out to a Divorce With Dignity Provider in your state.** Each Provider offers a complimentary discovery session, where they can answer your questions and speak to your unique situation. Click here to [find a Provider near you]() and **schedule your complimentary consultation**. *\*In the case of child support payments, states have laws that specifically address the failure to pay child support, and judges don’t like it when parents fail to make court-ordered child support payments, so you’ll likely have a few different options to resolve this issue.* **Categories:** Amicable Divorce and Conflict Resolution, Divorce Papers, Divorce Process, Mediation **Tags:** amicable divorce, marital settlement agreement, mediation --- ### [The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Considering a Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/the-5-biggest-mistakes-people-make-when-considering-a-divorce/) **Published:** December 1, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** As a Divorce With Dignity divorce support professional, I have conferred with many people considering divorce, and have noticed some common mistakes. Here are the top five mistakes, and ways to avoid them to the benefit of all involved. **Content:** As a Divorce With Dignity divorce support professional, I have conferred with many people considering divorce, and have noticed some common mistakes. Here are the top five mistakes, and ways to avoid them to the benefit of all involved. 1. **Failing to talk with your spouse and explore options to proceed amicably towards a divorce.** Nobody thinks divorce is easy, and everyone always hears the message that they shouldn’t talk to their spouse. That’s completely the opposite message of what you should do. Sometimes people want so badly to avoid having to talk through difficult issues in a marriage that they don’t first discuss their feelings with their spouse and what they want to happen in their divorce; they just get so mad, that they yell out they are going to file for divorce. Take a big breath, calm down and find a safe place to talk to each other about proceeding with the process. 2. **Starting the divorce process without understanding how it works.** Do you know the different types of divorce (such as contested/uncontested, fault/no fault, etc.)? Do you know what paperwork is required for your divorce? Do you know if you and your spouse are in agreement on all the issues you’ll have to decide for your divorce? First, find out how the legal process works so you can formulate the best strategy for you. If you live near a Divorce With Dignity office, you can talk with us about the divorce process and how it works in your state. We can help you with your pre-divorce planning so you will be prepared for the ramifications of divorce, [www.findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). 3. **Hiring a divorce lawyer before talking to your spouse about divorce**. Before you jump in feet first and hire a divorce lawyer, talk to your spouse. Talk about your intention to divorce and see how your spouse feels about it. Discuss the different aspects entailed in a divorce settlement (such as child custody and visitation plans, living arrangements, property, finances) and find out what you already agree on and what needs to be worked out. 4. **Not considering alternative ways to divorce besides litigation.** Once you have discussed the issues involved in the divorce settlement, you can save lots of time, stress, and money by avoiding litigation, especially when you know the difficult issues that you may not agree upon. There are alternative and more peaceful ways to divorce. Depending on your issues, you may need someone to help you with the divorce papers, or perhaps you could benefit from a mediator. These alternatives give you options besides the adversarial, stressful, and costly litigation method. At Divorce With Dignity, we can discuss these more peaceful options with you to help you determine which method is best for you, [www.findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). 5. **Failing to analyze your financial situation and determining how you’ll be able to make ends meet. You will need to look at your proposed future living expenses for your life after divorce and figure out how you are going to be able to manage this new phase of your life. Of course, any of our offices can help you look at your situation and provide referrals if you need additional assistance, [www.findaprovider.dwdignity.com](http://www.findaprovider.dwdignity.com/)**. In addition to walking you through many of the above decisions, a Divorce With Dignity provider can put you in touch with various other services you may need related to your divorce. Working with them can help you avoid many costly mistakes; costly not only in the financial sense, but also with respect to emotions and time. To find a provider, please visit our website – [findaprovider.dwdignity.com](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/). Getting a divorce doesn’t have to cost you lots of time and money. Let us help you get through your divorce – with dignity! **Categories:** Emotional Effects of Divorce **Tags:** common divorce mistakes, divorce family, Divorce Lawyers, divorce mistakes, divorce planning, Divorce Process, Divorce Settlement --- ## Pages ### [Home](https://dwdignity.com/) **Published:** July 14, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Maintain Your Dignity: A Better Way to Divorce or Separate. The Amicable Divorce process allows you to hold the decisions about property division, child custody, and spousal and child support in your hands. Our national network of professionals help you to keep control of your situation, while saving you time and money. Worries about financial cost, family matters, and lifestyle changes can be a terrible burden. We are here for you, and will help you through it — as a trusted and experienced partner who remains focused on you. We are committed to helping you through the divorce process in a peaceful manner. In fact, it is against our philosophy to do otherwise. **Content:** ## Amicable divorce services that are fair, affordable and safe. [Find A Provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) ## **Maintain Your Dignity: A Better Way to Divorce** **or Separate** # Amicable Divorce Services allow you to hold the decisions about property division, child custody, and spousal and child support in your hands. Our national network of professionals help you to keep control of your situation. Consider our **compassionate divorce services**. We specialize in providing **affordable** and **amicable** solutions for couples navigating the complexities of separation. Our dedicated team is committed to **guiding you through the divorce process** with **care** and **understanding**. Our services encompass **comprehensive divorce mediation**, including the development of co-parenting agreements. **Beyond divorces**, we extend our expertise to various related areas, such as adoptions, conservatorships, divorce planning and facilitation, family law documents, living trusts and wills, name changes, paternity filings, pre-nuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, probate, and restraining orders. **Trust us to navigate these sensitive matters with professionalism and efficiency, ensuring a smooth transition for you and your family.**  #### A Clear, Step-by-Step Process We walk with you from start to finish and offer a knowledgeable and experienced guide at every step of the way.  #### Affordable Legal Access We believe that affordable legal access is everyone’s right. We offer divorce support that saves you thousands of dollars.  #### Holistic Divorce Support We offer a variety of related services along with trusted, vetted and experienced referral partners. ![Cindy](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Cindy.jpg "Cindy") ![](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/quate.png "Quate - divorce with dignity")I believe that we are much better off making our own decisions about our private lives, instead of leaving it in the hands of the legal system. – Cindy Elwell, Founder, Divorce With Dignity ## We understand what you’re going through. ![](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/We-understand.jpg "Divorce with dignity") We understand that worries about financial costs, family matters, and lifestyle changes can weigh heavily on individuals facing the challenges of divorce. Recognizing the emotional and financial toll that this process can take, we want you to know that **we are here for you every step of the way**. As your trusted and experienced partner, **we remain unwaveringly focused on your needs**, alleviating the burden of uncertainty during this difficult time. Our commitment to **guiding you through the divorce process in a peaceful manner** is not just a service we provide; it is a core aspect of our philosophy. We firmly believe that divorces can be approached with empathy and cooperation, and **we are dedicated to fostering an environment that prioritizes resolution over conflict**. Allow us to be your supportive ally, helping you navigate the complexities of divorce with compassion and expertise. We assist you with your uncontested divorce planning and processing and help you avoid or minimize much of the negative emotional impacts that contested divorce cases can cause. ## Does the idea of an Amicable Divorce sound absurd to you? N #### An established and reputable process that works. We have helped scores of people, just like you, receive a quick and easy divorce — without the pain and bitterness associated with traditional divorces. N #### You do not have to part as enemies. While it is true that most divorces end in costly court battles and bitter disputes, it doesn’t have to be that way for you. N #### If not for you... Do it for the kids. When your divorce is amicable, the alternative short- and long-term impact on the kids is immeasurable. [Speak With A Divorce Specialist](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) *I am immensely grateful for working with Bron. I had been caught up in a six-year-long (high conflict) divorce battle, which at the time felt it would never end. Her expertise and support in finalizing the divorce resulted in a fair and just financial settlement and my former attorney’s fees paid by the opposing party. I have no hesitation in recommending her services. Bron is a true gem.* Vesna M *I was in search of a professional to help me with an amicable divorce where the emotional and financial impact could be kept to a minimal. Jessica came recommended by a friend. Her approach was non-combative and simply act as a neutral facilitator of what otherwise could be an ugly divorce. She was exactly what I was looking for and thanks to her good work and very clear directions, I’ll be legally divorced next month.* Yian B *Cindy is a compassionate, trustworthy, and reliable guide when it comes to the divorce process. She does all the hard work and explains everything about the process thoroughly. She makes filing for a divorce as pain-free as possible. She is knowledgeable and treats her clients with respect and dignity. I would recommend her without hesitation. Thank you, Cindy.* Cherry P [Find A Divorce Provider In Your Area ](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) ![divorce-ebook ](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/divorce-ebook-2.png "Divorce-ebook 2") ## Download Our Free eBook: How to Go Through a Divorce With Dignity ## Success! Please check your email inbox. First Name Email [ DOWNLOAD ](#) Check your email inbox! ## Divorce Questions [![Divorce questions](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/What-is-an-Amicable-Divorce_.jpg "Grey-haired confident professional good-looking psychotherapist consulting married couple - divorce with dignity")](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#amicable_divorce) #### [What is an amicable divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#amicable_divorce) Just the thought of divorce can cause worry and stress for the person considering a divorce. Worries about the financial cost, family matters, and lifestyle changes can be a terrible burden… [Read More](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#amicable_divorce) [![Divorce questions](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/How-much-does-divorce-cost_.jpg "Asian psychologist counseling talking to unhappy couple in office concept - divorce with dignity")](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#divorce_cost) #### [How much does a divorce cost?](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#divorce_cost) The true cost of divorce is emotional stress as well as financial devastation. Divorce attorney fees can add up quickly, many divorces cost $20,000 or more. Divorce With Dignity helps you avoid.. [Read More](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#divorce_cost) [![Divorce questions](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/How-to-start-a-divorce.jpg "Clients couple talk consulting with male psychologist at meeting - divorce with dignity")](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#divorce) #### [How to start a divorce?](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#divorce) Decide to do an amicable or uncontested divorce Deciding to the divorce may sound like a simple step, but many people considering divorce find themselves “stuck”. Divorce can be scary …. [Read More](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#divorce) [![Divorce questions](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Why-Use-DWD_.jpg "Divorce with dignity - divorce with dignity")](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#use_divorce) #### [Why use Divorce With Dignity?](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#use_divorce) **Doing It Yourself:** There are some books that you can get to help you do your own amicable divorce and there are clinics and other divorce support services available through the court if you… [Read More](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/#use_divorce) ## Learn More About Amicable Divorce [ ![Why Many Couples Choose Mediation in Orange County](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/iStock-2185767704.jpg) ](https://dwdignity.com/couples-choose-mediation-divorce-orange-county/) ## [Why Many Couples Choose Mediation in Orange County](https://dwdignity.com/couples-choose-mediation-divorce-orange-county/) Mar 20, 2026 By Julie Maneker, Esq., Attorney and Mediator, Divorce With Dignity - Orange County Divorce is... [read more](https://dwdignity.com/couples-choose-mediation-divorce-orange-county/) --- ### [Simplify Your Divorce in Montgomery County with Amicable Divorce Mediation](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose-montgomery-county-texas-divorce-mediation/) **Published:** November 6, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency, discretion, and no pressure. Offering amicable Divorce Mediation in Montgomery County, TX. **Content:** ## DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY - MONTGOMERY ![Farrah Rose, Certified Mediator, Divorce With Dignity - Montgomery, TX](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Farrah-Rose-Certified-Mediator-Divorce-With-Dignity-Montgomery-TX.png) ### **Farrah Rose, Certified Advanced Mediator** ## 6700 Woodlands Pkwy, Suite 230-539 The Woodlands, TX 77382 ## P: [(713) 909-0363](tel:713-909-0363) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/montgomery-farrahrose) # **Divorce Mediation in Montgomery County, Texas** #### **Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery offers a Peaceful Path to Amicable Divorce Mediation in Montgomery County, Texas.** Are you seeking a Divorce Mediation in Montgomery County, Texas guided by a certified mediator who is committed to confidentiality, ethics, and fairness? I understand how crucial it is to retain control and dignity during this challenging time. As a mediator who values traditional principles and family values, I strive to approach every case with respect, fairness, and integrity, ensuring that all clients feel heard and supported. Rooted in the values of our community, I am committed to helping families navigate divorce with dignity and respect, fostering solutions that honor our shared commitment to family and community stability. **Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery specializes in helping families of all backgrounds and beliefs navigate divorce without battles or the need for litigating attorneys.** ## **Why Choose to Work with Me?** ✅ **Confidentiality & Impartiality:** Your privacy and fairness in the process are paramount. I prioritize strict confidentiality, ethics, and impartiality to avoid conflicts of interest. ✅ **Empowerment & Control:** Maintain control over your divorce decisions. My amicable process keeps you in charge, saving you time, money, and undue stress. ✅ **Quality & Organization:** Experience a highly organized, transparent, and honest process. I ensure a high-quality service that prioritizes honesty and transparency every step of the way. ## **My Mission:** At Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery, my mission is centered around facilitating amicable divorces without the need for court battles. I deeply understand the emotional toll divorce can take and strive to offer a safe, dignified path forward, allowing individuals to transition from broken relationships to new beginnings with grace and respect. My goal is to provide guidance and support, ensuring that each client can navigate this challenging phase with dignity and peace of mind, preserving relationships where possible and empowering individuals to move forward positively. My goal is to provide a mediation process that respects and upholds the dignity of all individuals involved, regardless of their background or beliefs. I am dedicated to facilitating a peaceful and equitable resolution for every family. ## **What I Offer:** #### Divorce Planning & Coaching **Unsure of your next steps?** Let me guide you through the process, evaluate agreements/disagreements, and help devise a plan of action. #### Online Divorce Mediation Disagreements hindering progress? As a certified mediator, I serve as a neutral third party to assist in resolving conflicts amicably. Navigating divorce and family law matters requires a delicate and informed approach. As a certified Advanced Mediator, specializing in divorce mediation and related family law issues, I offer comprehensive online mediation services. Through virtual sessions, I act as a neutral third party to facilitate constructive conversations and resolutions between parties. In the realm of divorce mediation, I guide couples through the complexities of separation, addressing various aspects such as child custody, visitation, support agreements, asset division, and more. I strive to ensure that both parties are heard and supported in reaching fair and sustainable agreements. My commitment extends beyond divorce alone. I also handle related family law matters, including but not limited to modifications of existing agreements, parenting plans, co-parenting, prenuptial agreements, and post-divorce conflicts. The online mediation sessions are conducted with the utmost confidentiality, ensuring a safe and comfortable environment for constructive dialogue and resolution. #### About Private Divorce Mediation in Montgomery County, Texas Divorce can be a challenging and emotionally taxing process, but private mediation offers couples an opportunity to navigate their separation with confidentiality, efficiency, and minimal stress. Here’s how private divorce mediation works in Montgomery County, Texas: **Initial Consultation** The process typically begins with an initial consultation where both spouses meet with a qualified mediator. During this meeting, the mediator explains the mediation process, its benefits, and addresses any questions or concerns the couple may have. This session also helps determine whether mediation is suitable for the couple’s unique situation. **Choosing a Mediator** Mediators are neutral third parties trained in conflict resolution. In Montgomery County, mediators specializing in family law often have extensive training and experience to ensure fairness and impartiality throughout the process. While mediators are not required to be attorneys, many are well-versed in Texas Family Code and local court practices. **Confidentiality** One of the primary advantages of private mediation is confidentiality. Under Texas law, communications made during mediation are confidential and cannot be used in court, with limited exceptions. This discretion allows couples to discuss sensitive issues openly without fear of public disclosure, promoting more honest and productive conversations. **Customized Solutions** Mediation empowers couples to craft personalized solutions tailored to their unique circumstances. With the assistance of the mediator, spouses can negotiate various aspects of their divorce, including: Child custody and visitation schedules, with a focus on the best interests of the child, as required by Texas Family Code. Division of community property, including homes, vehicles, and retirement accounts. Spousal support or alimony agreements, if applicable. This flexibility allows couples to create resolutions that work for their specific needs and family dynamics. **Cost-Effectiveness** Private mediation is often more cost-effective than traditional litigation. By avoiding lengthy court battles and the associated legal fees, couples can save significant time and money, making the divorce process more affordable and efficient. Mediators in Montgomery County typically charge flat or hourly rates, offering transparency in costs. **Control and Empowerment** Unlike courtroom proceedings where a judge makes decisions on behalf of the parties, mediation allows couples to retain control over the outcome. This sense of empowerment fosters cooperation and encourages a more amicable divorce process, which is especially important when co-parenting is involved. **Legal Guidance** While mediators cannot provide legal advice unless they are licensed attorneys, they facilitate productive discussions between spouses. Couples are encouraged to consult with their respective attorneys outside of mediation to review any agreements and ensure their rights are protected before signing. **Binding Agreements** Once an agreement is reached, it is documented in a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA). In Texas, these agreements are binding and enforceable if they meet specific statutory requirements under the Texas Family Code. While the agreement can sometimes be modified later if circumstances change, this process provides a clear and legally sound resolution for both parties. **Court Approval** In Montgomery County, the mediated settlement agreement is submitted to the family court for approval. The court reviews the agreement to ensure compliance with Texas laws, particularly regarding child custody, child support, and property division. Once approved, the agreement becomes a legally enforceable court order, finalizing the divorce process. **Post-Divorce Support** Even after the divorce is finalized, mediators may offer post-divorce support services. These services can help couples navigate co-parenting challenges, enforce agreements, or address unforeseen conflicts that arise after the dissolution of their marriage. **Why Choose Private Divorce Mediation in Montgomery County, Texas?** Private divorce mediation offers couples a collaborative and confidential alternative to traditional litigation. By prioritizing communication, cooperation, and customization, mediation empowers spouses to achieve mutually beneficial outcomes while minimizing conflict and emotional turmoil. With the guidance of an experienced mediator, couples can resolve their divorce efficiently and respectfully. #### Flexibility & Convenience By leveraging technology, I offer the flexibility of remote meetings and sessions, making the process convenient and accessible without compromising on the quality and effectiveness of the process. My goal is to facilitate respectful and amicable resolutions, minimizing conflict and empowering parties to shape their futures in a positive and mutually beneficial manner. **Service Areas:** Serving Montgomery County, Texas, including but not limited to Conroe, Cut and Shoot, Deerwood, Grangerland, Houston, Magnolia, Montgomery, Oak Ridge North, Panorama Village, Patton Village, Pinehurst, Porter Heights, Roman Forest, Shenandoah, Splendora, Stagecoach, The Woodlands, Willis, Woodbranch, and Woodloch. ## **Take Action Today.** **Ready to take the first step towards a peaceful divorce? Schedule your free discovery session or send me a message. Let’s navigate this journey together with dignity and respect.** [Schedule Your Free Discovery Session](https://go.oncehub.com/montgomery-farrahrose) ### *Specialties* - Amicable Divorce - Co-Parenting Mediation - Divorce Mediation - Divorce Coaching - Divorce Planning - Divorce Mediated Settlement Agreement - Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA) - Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) - Online Mediation - Parenting Plan Mediation - Property & Debt Division Mediation - Referrals to Trusted Resources - Separation Agreements - Support & Maintenance Discussions [![Mediate.com Premium Member](https://mediate.com/_badges/2025-badge-premium.png)](https://mediate.com/mediator-profile/Farrah-Rose/?id=39601 "Mediate.com Profile") ![Farrah Rose, Member of The Woodlands Area Chamber of Commerce](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/MEMBER-OF-CHAMBER-LOGO-002-300x111.png) [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Why-DWD-Mediation-Farrah-Rose-Divorce-With-Dignity-Montgomery.pdf) ### *More about Farrah* ##### EDUCATION & CERTIFICATIONS - Texas Certified Mediator, Advanced Civil and Advanced Family Mediation, Mediators & Arbitrators of America - Paralegal Certificate, University of San Diego School of Law - CA-CLAD Teaching Credential K-12, National University - BA, Psychology (credits), San Francisco State University - BA, Liberal Studies, CA State University San Marcos ##### ON A PERSONAL NOTE... I’ve been a single mama for the past 16 years and have learned many creative ways, over the years, to stay organized, positive, and energetic! Active in my community (as a Member of The Woodlands Area Chamber of Commerce and volunteering at a local equine rescue ranch, a wildlife rehabilitation center, and equine therapy ranch), I bring a commitment to traditional values and community service to my mediation practice, always aiming to support and strengthen the families I work with. ## **FAQs** ##### What is divorce mediation in Texas? Divorce mediation is a confidential, structured process where a neutral third party helps spouses reach agreements on issues like property division, parenting plans, and support. In Texas, mediation can be used instead of going to court, allowing couples to maintain more control over the outcome and often resolve matters more efficiently. ##### Is mediation required for divorce in Montgomery County? Mediation is not always required, but many courts in Montgomery County strongly encourage it—especially in cases involving children or contested issues. Even when not required, mediation is often the fastest and most cost-effective way to reach a resolution. ##### How much does divorce mediation cost in Montgomery County, Texas? The cost of divorce mediation varies depending on complexity, but it is typically far less expensive than hiring two attorneys for litigation. Many couples are able to reach full agreement in just a few sessions, making mediation a more predictable and manageable investment. ##### How long does divorce mediation take in Texas? Every situation is different, but many couples complete mediation within a few sessions over a few weeks. Compared to traditional divorce litigation—which can take months or even years—mediation is often significantly faster. ##### Do both spouses have to agree to mediation? Yes. Mediation is a voluntary process, and both parties must be willing to participate in good faith. However, even if communication has been difficult, mediation can still be effective with the right structure and guidance. ##### What if we already agree on most things? That’s actually an ideal situation for mediation. If you already agree on many aspects of your divorce, mediation can help finalize the remaining details and ensure everything is properly documented in a clear, enforceable agreement. ##### Can mediation work if communication is difficult? Yes. You do not need to have a perfect relationship to successfully mediate. A skilled mediator provides structure, keeps conversations productive, and helps both parties stay focused on solutions rather than conflict. ##### What happens after mediation in Texas? If an agreement is reached, it is typically documented in a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA), which is intended to be binding under Texas law. The final divorce decree is then prepared and submitted to the court for approval. ##### Is mediation legally binding in Texas? A properly drafted Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA) in Texas is intended to be binding and enforceable if it meets specific statutory requirements. This provides clarity and stability for both parties moving forward. ##### Do I still need an attorney if I use mediation? Mediation is a non-adversarial process, and many couples complete it without traditional litigation. However, each person has the option to consult with an attorney at any time for independent legal advice. ##### What happens after mediation in Texas? If an agreement is reached, it is typically documented in a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA), which is intended to be binding under Texas law. The final divorce decree is then prepared and submitted to the court for approval. ##### Is divorce mediation a good option if we have children? Yes. Mediation is often especially beneficial for parents because it allows you to create a customized parenting plan that works for your family, rather than having decisions imposed by the court. ##### Do you offer virtual divorce mediation in Texas? Yes. Mediation sessions are conducted remotely, allowing clients throughout Montgomery County, The Woodlands, and across Texas to participate conveniently from their own homes. If you’re considering divorce mediation in Montgomery County or The Woodlands, you can **[schedule a discovery call](https://go.oncehub.com/montgomery-farrahrose)** to learn whether this approach is a good fit for your situation. # Contact Farrah Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/montgomery-farrahrose) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Divorce With Dignity-San Francisco](https://dwdignity.com/bronwyn-kay-galloway/) **Published:** March 2, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** ![Bronwyn Kay Galloway](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/2.png "2") # Bronwyn Kay Galloway The Flood Building, 870 Market Street, Suite 1164, San Francisco, CA 94102 ## P: [415-963-3535](tel:415-963-3535) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/BronwynKayGalloway-DivorceWithDignity) ## **Divorce, by definition, marks the legal dissolution of a marriage, often navigating through challenging emotions and complex legal processes. Yet, at Divorce With Dignity – San Francisco, we believe divorce and dignity can indeed go hand-in-hand.** Dignity embodies the essence of being worthy of honor and respect, and that’s precisely what our approach aims to uphold. In a refreshing departure from traditional courtroom battles, we offer a collaborative paradigm focused on honoring the partnership and transitioning into separate lives with respect and understanding. Our mission is simple yet profound: to guide you through an amicable divorce process that’s both peaceful and cost-effective. Unlike litigating matters with divorce lawyers, our mediation process not only saves you thousands of dollars but also ensures a better outcome. We facilitate conflict resolution, assist with child support calculations, and handle all necessary paperwork to finalize your uncontested divorce swiftly and fairly through the family court system. In California, a significant percentage of divorces are amicable, and our office fosters an environment where you’re never pressured into anything that doesn’t feel right for you. If reaching an agreement is possible, you may not even need to step foot in court. We take care of everything, allowing you to focus on navigating your new path forward with grace and confidence. At Divorce With Dignity, transparency is paramount. There are no retainers or hidden costs. Our diverse clientele, including some fellow attorneys, reflects our commitment to understanding and supporting individuals from all walks of life through this challenging process. We know it’s not easy, but rest assured, we’re here to support you and your children every step of the way. Let us help you achieve a peaceful resolution as you embark on this new chapter of your life. **MISSION:** At Divorce With Dignity-San Francisco, our mission is to help clients achieve an amicable no-court divorce. Rather than promoting divorce, our goal is to help our clients find a safe place, when they must go through the divorce process, and to help them leave broken, unhappy relationships in a dignified, amicable manner. **WE HELP YOU:** - Take each step from start to finish; - Understand the divorce process and keep your peace of mind; - Make sure your divorce is done properly with professional expertise; and - Save time, money, and frustration during this difficult transition. **SERVICES PROVIDED:** - **Divorce Planning and Facilitation:** If you’re unsure of what you’d like to do, we will educate you on the process, evaluate which issues are in agreement/disagreement and then help you come up with an informal plan of action. - **Online Mediation:** If clients are in disagreement on certain issues, we’ll help the clients reach an agreement through formal mediation. As a certified mediator, we serve as a neutral third party, and work with the clients to resolve disagreements and move through the process amicably. - **Legal Document Preparation:** Once clients are in agreement, we will process and file your documents with the court so that you don’t have to appear in court. ### *Specialties* - Adoption - Child Custody - Divorce Planning and Facilitation - Family Law Documents - Legal Separation - Living Trust & Will - Name Change - Proofreading - Qualified Domestic Relations Order - Restraining Order - Small Claims - Subpoenas - Unlawful Detainer - Visitation (Grandparent) [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/amicabledivorceBron.pdf) ### *More about Bronwyn* ##### EDUCATION: **Juris Doctorate**, Public Interest Law, John F. Kennedy University, Berkeley, CA – December 2009 **Master of Arts,** Social Psychology, San Francisco State University, San Francisco, CA – May 2001 **California Certified Residential Manager** – Apartment Association, San Francisco, CA – April 1998 **Bachelor of Arts**, Human Communication, University of San Francisco, CA – May 1994 **Associate of Arts**, Public Speaking, College of Marin, Kentfield, CA – May 1990 ##### EXPERIENCE: Various Law Firms – **Office Manager, Paralegal, Secretary** – San Francisco, CA – 1995 to 2021 United Nations Association – **Executive Committee Secretary** – San Francisco, CA – 2009-2017 Nob Hill Apartment Building – **On-Site Property Manager** – San Francisco, CA – 1998-2004 Judicial Council of California, **Graduate Student Paid Intern**, San Francisco, CA – 1994-1995 ##### PROFESSIONAL RECOGNITION: Since the late 1990s, Bronwyn has graciously received certificates, plaques, and other awards for her international human rights activism (including speeches and panel work), law firm accomplishments, and overall volunteering. **Professional Registration** Legal Document Assistant: #2026-0000089 ##### TESTIMONIALS: *Bronwyn made me feel taken care of and I had a very positive experience every step of the way during a very painful circumstance. Her communication was impeccable, she always responded quickly to my emails and calls. She is warm, compassionate and approachable and I have already recommended her to a few people. -Debbie J.* [Read More Reviews](https://g.page/r/CVVQ9Lrfp4uYEAE) ##### FUN FACTS ABOUT BRONWYN: Bronwyn has followed rock band U2 worldwide MORE THAN 100 times since 1984. They’ve inspired her to become a human rights activist, including as a delegate at the Commission on Status of Women Conference at the United Nations headquarters in NYC. # Contact Bronwyn Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Please complete the fields below **OR** click the button below to schedule your Discovery Session. Name \*First Last Email \* Comment or Message \* Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/BronwynKayGalloway-DivorceWithDignity) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Find an Amicable Divorce Provider](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) **Published:** July 14, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** ![](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/confident-latin-business-leader-portrait-picture-id1296331668.jpg "Confident-latin-business-leader-portrait-picture-id1296331668") # Meet Our Providers **Find an Amicable Divorce Provider in your County.****Divorce with Dignity** is a national network of divorce support professionals who will help you keep control of your situation and receive an outcome that is cost-effective, safe, and as easy as possible. We provide divorce support in all areas of your process. Our network is continually expanding to serve people in more areas. We currently cover several states and should be in your area soon. Each of our offices is staffed with a primary Divorce With Dignity professional, who oversees a variety of professionals, including attorneys, paralegals, legal document assistants, mediators, etc. **Everyone at Divorce With Dignity believes that your divorce is unique.** Most of the people in our Network have gone through a divorce themselves, and relate to and empathize with your needs. We know that this is very emotional for you and want to help make this process as easy as possible for you and your family. [CALIFORNIA](#California) [COLORADO](#colorado) [GEORGIA](#georgia) [MARYLAND](#maryland) [ TEXAS ](#texas) [VIRGINIA](#virginia) # California [![Denise Foster](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/7.png "Denise foster")](https://dwdignity.com/denise-foster/) **Denise Foster : CA – Alameda County.** Denise takes you through every step, alleviating the frustration of the divorce process. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/denise-foster/) [![Gina Lee](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/1-1.png "Gina lee")](https://dwdignity.com/gina-lee/) **Gina Lee, Esq. : CA – Marin/Sonoma Counties.** A family law attorney specializing in amicable divorce mediation, agreements, and estate planning. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/gina-lee/) [ ![Lori Black Ogene, Divorce With Dignity - Monterey](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Lori-Black-Ogene-Divorce-With-Dignity-Monterey-RD.png) ](https://dwdignity.com/lori-black-ogene/) **Lori Black Ogene : CA – Monterey County.** Lori delivers quality family law assistance and a safe and affordable amicable divorce. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/lori-black-ogene/) [ ![Nicole Lewis Napa Solano Amicable Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Web-Page-Photo-Nicole-Lewis-Napa-and-Solano.png) ](https://dwdignity.com/nicole-lewis/) **Nicole Lewis, Esq. : CA – Napa and Solano Counties.** We offer divorce solutions that focus on wellness, mutual respect, and collaboration, rather than stress, conflict, and courtrooms. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/nicole-lewis/) [![Julie M. Maneker, Esq.](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Julie-Maneker-Headshot.avif "Julie Maneker Headshot")](https://dwdignity.com/julie-m-maneker/) **Julie Maneker, Esq. : CA – Orange County.** We provide structured divorce solutions grounded in clarity, neutrality, and mutual respect — not conflict, escalation, or court battles. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/julie-m-maneker/) [ ![Debbie Main, LDA, Divorce With Dignity - Placer and Sacramento](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Debbie-Main-1.png) ](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-document-preparation-in-placer-sacramento-ca-debbie-main/) **Debbie Main, LDA : CA – Placer and Sacramento Counties.** Flat-fee divorce paperwork for cooperative, self-represented individuals and couples. Debbie helps clients complete their divorce with clarity, structure, and dignity. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-document-preparation-in-placer-sacramento-ca-debbie-main/) [![Sarah Elder Gauthier](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Sarah-Elder-Gauthier-125-×-125-px.png "Sarah Elder Gauthier (125 × 125 px)")](https://dwdignity.com/sarah-elder/) **Sarah Elder Gauthier : CA – San Diego County.** You will feel heard while Sarah takes you through mediation and separation/divorce documents. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/sarah-elder/) [ ![Bronwyn Kay Galloway](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Bronwyn-Kay-Galloway.png) ](https://dwdignity.com/bronwyn-kay-galloway/) **Bronwyn Kay Galloway : CA – San Francisco County.** Independent Paralegal & Registered LDA with Juris Doctorate, specializing in international human rights. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/bronwyn-kay-galloway/) [![Jessica Cochran-Kelly](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/5.png "Jessica cochran-kelly")](https://dwdignity.com/jessica-cochran-kelly/) **Jessica Cochran-Kelly, Esq. : CA – San Mateo County.** Jessica is an attorney who will help you face the next chapter of your life with hope and strong footing. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/jessica-cochran-kelly/) [![Asma Bashir](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/3.png "Asma bashir")](https://dwdignity.com/asma-bashir/) **Asma Bashir : CA – Santa Clara County.** Asma is an experienced attorney who will help you avoid litigation and retain your dignity. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/asma-bashir/) ## Colorado [ ![Cory J. Flohr, Divorce Mediator, Divorce Services Provider](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Cory-J.-Flohr-Divorce-Mediator-1.png) ](https://dwdignity.com/cory-j-flohr-amicable-divorce-services-in-south-metro-colorado/) **Cory J. Flohr : CO – South Metro Colorado.** Peaceful, court-free solutions | Helping families move forward with clarity, dignity, and control. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/cory-j-flohr-amicable-divorce-services-in-south-metro-colorado/) ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot.png) **Caroline McKinnon, Esq. : CO – SW Denver Metro.** Divorce services in SW Denver Metro, providing peaceful, affordable mediation solutions tailored to your needs. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/caroline-mckinnon-amicable-divorce-services-in-sw-denver-metro/) ## Georgia [ ![Michael Lemon, Divorce With Dignity - Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Michael-Lemon.jpg) ](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/) **Michael Lemon, Esq. : GA Middle Georgia.** Michael helps Middle Georgia families navigate divorce with dignity, offering compassionate, affordable, and stress-free amicable divorce services. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/) ## Maryland ![Azizah Ahmad - Divorce With Dignity - Montgomery and Howard](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Azizah-Ahmad-DWD-Montgomery-Howard-Circle-Photo.png) **Azizah Ahmad, Esq. : MD – Montgomery & Howard Counties.** Attorney-mediator offering flat-fee, amicable divorce services including mediation, paperwork, and settlement support. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/azizah-ahmad-esq-amicable-divorce-services-in-montgomery-howard-counties-md/) ## Texas ![Angela Martinez Divorce With Dignity - Dallas](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Angela-Martinez-Divorce-With-Dignity-Dallas-CIR.png) **Angela Martinez : TX – Dallas & Tarrant Counties.** Amicable divorce mediation in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, empowering clients to resolve disputes efficiently and protect their family’s future. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/angela-martinez-dallas-tx/) [ ![Farrah Rose - Divorce With Dignity - Montgomery](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Farrah-Rose-Divorce-With-Dignity-Montgomery.png) ](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose/) **Farrah Rose : TX – Montgomery County.** Paralegal and Certified Advanced Mediator specializing in amicable divorces and online mediation. Serving The Woodlands, Conroe, Magnolia, and more — in the Greater Houston area. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/farrah-rose-montgomery-county-texas-divorce-mediation/) ## Virginia ![Breyette Lorntz, PhD - Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Breyette-Lorntz-PhD-Virginia-Supreme-Court-Certified-Mediator.avif "Breyette Lorntz, PhD, Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator") **Breyette Lorntz, PhD : VA – Central Virginia Corridor.** Amicable divorce mediation in Central Virginia, helping you reduce conflict, stay in control, and protect what matters most as you move forward. [View Profile](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-mediation-in-central-virginia-with-breyette-lorntz/) --- ### [Caroline McKinnon - Amicable Divorce Mediation in Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-coach-denver/) **Published:** January 17, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** Caroline McKinnon at Divorce With Dignity - SW Denver Metro offers compassionate, affordable mediation to help you navigate divorce with dignity and clarity. **Content:** # DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY - SW DENVER METRO ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot.png) ### Caroline McKinnon, Esq. Divorce Mediator #### #### 4 West Dry Creek Cir, Ste. 100 Littleton, CO 80120 #### **P: [(720) 239-2159]()** [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/CarolineMcKinnon) # Welcome to Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro **A Path to Peaceful Resolution with Divorce Mediation in Denver** Divorce can feel like uncharted territory, leaving you overwhelmed and uncertain. At Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro, we want you to know that you’re not alone. We’re here to provide compassionate guidance and practical solutions that help you move forward with confidence and peace. Our specialized divorce mediation in Denver offers an affordable, respectful alternative to litigation—one that prioritizes your needs and protects what matters most. **You Deserve a Process That Puts You First** You want a solution that minimizes conflict, protects your family’s well-being, and gives you clarity about the future. Mediation provides you with: - **Peace of Mind:** Resolve issues without hostility or court battles. - **Cost Savings:** Avoid the high financial burden of litigation. - **Control Over Outcomes:** Craft agreements tailored to your family’s unique needs. - **Faster Resolution:** Move forward without unnecessary delays. **Meet Your Guide: Caroline McKinnon, Attorney & Mediator** Divorce can feel like uncharted territory — but with the right guide, you can find a clear path forward. As an attorney and mediator, Caroline McKinnon brings thoughtful perspective, steady presence, and a deep respect for the emotional complexity of divorce. Her professional background gives her a strong understanding of legal frameworks, while her work as a mediator is grounded in collaboration, clarity, and care. Caroline chose a path that centers on helping families navigate change with less conflict and more intention — supporting agreements that are practical, humane, and built for life after divorce. Today, through Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro, Caroline helps couples navigate separation with clarity and respect. Her mediation process empowers you to make informed, fair decisions about parenting, finances, and property — without unnecessary conflict or cost. With Caroline’s steady guidance, you’ll move from overwhelm to resolution with confidence, dignity, and peace of mind. Caroline an empathetic problem solver, effective communicator and knowledgeable mediator. I highly recommend Caroline. Alexandra E. Caroline went above and beyond –her professionalism and service was exceptional. Efficiency is important to me…it was quite impressive how quickly she assessed and resolved each issue. Divorce mediation service requested — totally exceed our expectations. Ms. McKinnon politely raised and resolved issues we did not even think of beforehand … and no additional charge — our final bill slightly under the projected time and cost. Highly recommend. Thank you Caroline! James B. I found Caroline to have excellent listening and problem solving skills. While objective and fair, she also showed compassion and care for everyone’s needs. She is experienced, creative and attentive! Julie S. ## **Why Choose Divorce Mediation?** Divorce is a deeply personal journey, and your path forward should reflect your unique situation. Mediation offers a collaborative approach that puts you in control and focuses on solutions, not battles. Here’s how we can help: **Peaceful and Constructive** - Instead of fostering conflict, mediation promotes understanding and mutual respect. Our process is designed to preserve relationships and set a positive tone for the next chapter of your life. **Affordable and Efficient** - Litigation can drain your resources and take months or even years. Mediation is faster and more cost-effective, allowing you to focus on building your future instead of battling in court. **Tailored to You** - No two families are the same, and we believe your agreements should reflect your values and priorities. Whether it’s financial matters, parenting plans, or property division, we’ll work together to create solutions that fit your life. ## **Services We Provide** At Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro, our goal is to make this transition as smooth and empowering as possible. We offer: **Divorce Mediation in Denver** - Work through the details of your divorce, from dividing assets to crafting parenting plans, with guidance that keeps the focus on fairness and clarity. **Co-Parenting Plans** - Your children’s well-being is at the heart of everything we do. Together, we’ll create thoughtful plans that provide stability and structure for your family. **Family Mediation - Whether you’re resolving disputes between family members or addressing long-standing issues, we help open lines of communication and create pathways to understanding. ## **What to Expect During Mediation** Our process is designed to provide the clarity and support you need every step of the way: 1. **Initial Consultation:** During a free discovery call, we’ll discuss your situation, answer your questions, and explain how mediation works. 2. **Collaborative Sessions:** We’ll work through your concerns, focusing on practical, fair solutions tailored to your family’s needs. 3. **Clear Agreements:** By the end of the process, you’ll have well-defined, legally sound agreements that give you confidence moving forward. ### *Specialities* - Divorce Coaching - Divorce Mediation - Divorce Planning & Facilitation - Co-Parenting Mediation - Online Mediation - Family Law Mediation - Amicable Divorce Mediation - Case Assessments [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/5-simple-steps-caroline-mckinnon-divorce-with-dignity-sw-denver-metro/) [Subscribe to Newsletter](http://eepurl.com/ja3XQ2) - [Follow](https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolinemckinnon/ "Follow on LinkedIn") - [Follow](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61571872931868 "Follow on Facebook") - [Follow](https://www.instagram.com/dwdignity_swdenver/ "Follow on Instagram") - [Follow](https://www.youtube.com/@DivorceWithDignity-SWDenver "Follow on Youtube") - [Follow](https://www.yelp.com/biz/caroline-mckinnon-divorce-with-dignity-littleton "Follow on Yelp") ### *More about Caroline* ##### EDUCATION: Caroline McKinnon combines a strong academic foundation with decades of practical experience to bring expertise and professionalism to her mediation practice: - **Doctor of Law (JD):** University of Denver, College of Law - **Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Psychology:** University of Denver, magna cum laude - **Graduate Certificate in Strategic Innovation and Change:** University of Denver, University College of Professional and Continuing Studies ##### EXPERIENCE: With over 20 years of professional experience, Caroline McKinnon has developed a comprehensive skill set in mediation, conflict resolution, and leadership: - **Mediator and Conflict Resolution Specialist:** Facilitated divorce, family, and workplace mediations with a focus on peaceful resolutions. - **Attorney:** Represented families, children, and individuals in court, providing legal guidance on a wide range of civil matters. - **Nonprofit Leadership:** Directed organizations supporting victims of human trafficking, managing complex change initiatives and strategic planning. - **Awards and Recognition:** Recognized for excellence in mediation and community service, including Domestic and Family Relations Mediator of the Year and multiple Access to Justice Awards. ##### PERSONAL: Caroline McKinnon understands the emotional complexities of divorce and conflict resolution not only professionally but personally. Having experienced divorce and single parenting herself, she brings a unique perspective and deep empathy to her work. Caroline believes that change, while challenging, can be a force for growth and renewal. When she’s not working with clients, Caroline enjoys exploring the natural beauty of Colorado, volunteering in her community, and spending quality time with her family. Her personal journey fuels her commitment to helping others navigate transitions with dignity and confidence. # Contact Caroline TODAY **Let’s Begin Your Journey to Peace** Divorce is hard, but it doesn’t have to define your future. Together, we can create a path that honors your family’s needs and sets the stage for a better tomorrow. Schedule your free discovery call today, and let’s take the first step toward a peaceful resolution. Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Message Name Email Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) **About Divorce With Dignity** For over 25 years, Divorce With Dignity has been helping individuals and families navigate divorce with respect, transparency, and compassion. Our proven process provides the tools and support you need to achieve a peaceful resolution, saving you time, money, and stress. **Discover the Difference a Trusted Mediator Can Make** With Caroline McKinnon and Divorce With Dignity – SW Denver Metro, you’re in capable hands. Caroline brings years of experience, empathy, and professionalism to every case, ensuring your divorce process is as peaceful and collaborative as possible. **Your Peaceful Divorce Starts Here** Take control of your future with a process that prioritizes dignity, respect, and collaboration. Contact Caroline McKinnon today and start building the foundation for your next chapter. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/CarolineMcKinnon) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Michael Lemon helps Middle Georgia Families Navigate Divorce With Dignity](https://dwdignity.com/michael-lemon-help-middle-georgia-families-navigate-divorce-with-dignity/) **Published:** February 24, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency and no pressure. **Content:** ![Michael Lemon, Divorce With Dignity - Middle Georgia](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Michael-Lemon.jpg) # Michael Lemon, Esq. Divorce with Dignity – Middle Georgia ### *2476 Vineville Ave. Macon, GA 31204* ## P: [(478) 207-7477]() [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/MichaelLemon) ## Divorce Doesn’t Have to Be a Battle If you are facing divorce, you may feel overwhelmed and uncertain about what’s next. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Michael Lemon, Esq., is here to help individuals and families in Middle Georgia move through the divorce process with clarity, dignity, and peace. ## Your Guide to a Peaceful Divorce Michael has over six years of experience in divorce mediation and has found it to be the most rewarding part of his legal career. While he has handled divorce cases from start to finish, he realized that litigation often escalates conflicts rather than resolving them. That’s why he focuses on guiding couples toward solutions that keep them in control of their futures. Michael’s approach is unique—he listens intently, ensuring every party feels heard. Rather than telling people what to do, he guides them through their options, offering solutions tailored to their unique situation. Divorce can be a difficult transition, but with Michael’s support, it doesn’t have to be a battle. ## **Why Choose Divorce With Dignity – Middle Georgia?** Michael believes in mediation as a way to bring resolution without unnecessary conflict. In Middle Georgia, he provides a structured, compassionate approach to divorce that helps couples: - Save Time and Money – Mediation is significantly less expensive and quicker than traditional litigation. - Stay in Control – You and your spouse, not a judge, decide what’s best for your family and future. - Reduce Stress and Conflict – A peaceful process helps everyone move forward with clarity and cooperation. - Work with a Skilled Mediator – Michael has extensive experience in family law and mediation, ensuring the best possible guidance for his clients. ## Services Provided #### Divorce Mediation Mediation provides a structured setting where both parties can work toward fair agreements. Michael helps couples reach solutions that fit their needs without the delays and costs of litigation. #### Co-Parenting Mediation Michael works with parents to create parenting agreements that prioritize the well-being of their children while fostering cooperation between co-parents. #### Divorce Coaching Not sure where to start? Michael will guide you through the divorce process, helping you understand your options and develop a plan to move forward. ### Meet Michael Lemon, Esq. Michael is a seasoned attorney and certified mediator who has dedicated his practice to helping individuals navigate divorce with dignity. With a background that includes working for Geico before law school and a decade in workers’ compensation and personal injury law, he brings a well-rounded perspective to mediation. He is focused on what truly matters—helping people move forward peacefully and productively. Michael is a one-man practice by choice, allowing him to provide personalized, dedicated service to his clients. His business is built on referrals and repeat clients, a testament to his ability to build trust and provide exceptional service. ### Take the First Step Toward a Peaceful Divorce If you are considering divorce in Georgia and want a process that prioritizes dignity, respect, and fairness, Michael Lemon, Esq., is here to help. Reach out today to schedule your free consultation. ### *Specialities* - Adoptions - Advanced Directives for Healthcare & Wills - Conservatorships - Divorce Coaching - Divorce Mediation - Divorce Planning and Facilitation - Name Changes - Online Mediation - Paternity Filings - Pre- and Post-Nuptial Agreements - Probate Matters - Restraining Orders [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/5-Simple-Steps-Mediation-One-Page-Michael-Lemon-Esq.pdf) [Subscribe to Newsletter](http://eepurl.com/i_n9Jc) - [Follow](https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-lemon-esq/ "Follow on LinkedIn") - [Follow](https://www.linkedin.com/showcase/divorce-with-dignity-middle-georgia/ "Follow on LinkedIn") - [Follow](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573376942249 "Follow on Facebook") - [Follow](https://www.instagram.com/dwdignity_middlegeorgia/ "Follow on Instagram") - [Follow](https://yelp.com/biz/divorce-with-dignity-middle-georgia-macon-2 "Follow on Yelp") - [Follow](https://www.youtube.com/@DivorceWDignity-MiddleGeorgia "Follow on Youtube") ### *More about Michael* ##### EDUCATION & CERTIFICATIONS: - Juris Doctor (JD) – Stetson University College of Law Earned his law degree, equipping him with legal expertise to support his clients effectively. - Bachelor of Science (BS) in Business Administration and Management – Mercer University Developed strong business acumen and analytical skills that support his mediation practice. - Certified Mediator – General Civil and Domestic Relations Certified by the Georgia Commission on Dispute Resolution. Qualified Arbitrator Certified by the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA), conducting arbitrations for FINRA and the Better Business Bureau – Autoline Program. ##### LEGAL & PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE: - Mediator/Arbitrator – BAY Mediation & Arbitration Services (2020 – Present) Conducts mediations and arbitrations, including pro bono referrals for Middle Georgia Access to Justice. - Owner – The Law Office of Michael Lemon (2014 – Present) Represents individuals and families in matters related to personal injury, wrongful death, insurance disputes, and mediation. - Partner – Knott & Lemon, P.C. (2003 – 2014) Provided legal services in personal injury and workers’ compensation law. ##### PERSONAL BACKGROUND & VALUES: Michael Lemon is more than just a legal professional—he’s someone who truly enjoys working with people and helping them through difficult transitions. He believes in creating a calm, supportive environment where clients feel heard and understood. Known for his straightforward yet compassionate approach, he strives to guide clients toward fair solutions while making the process as stress-free as possible. When he’s not working, Michael enjoys playing golf on the weekends with friends, and spending quality time with his wife and adult children. # Contact Michael TODAY *Have questions or want to get started? Use this contact form to reach out to Michael Lemon directly. He’s here to support you every step of the way.* Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email Name Message Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/MichaelLemon) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Gina Lee - Divorce With Dignity - Divorce Mediation in Marin and Sonoma](https://dwdignity.com/gina-lee-marin-sonoma/) **Published:** February 27, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency and no pressure. **Content:** # DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY - MARIN AND SONOMA ![Gina Lee](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Gina-lee-round.png "Gina lee round") ## **GINA LEE, ESQ.** *1 Harbor Dr, Suite 300, Sausalito, CA 94965* ## P: [415-295-1560](tel:415-295-1560) [Schedule a Call](https://calendly.com/glee-dwdignity/15-minute-consult-25) # *Looking for divorce mediation in Marin or Sonoma?* # *With Divorce With Dignity, you don’t need to battle your spouse or hand over your life to litigating attorneys and the courts.* ## **Maintain control of your divorce with divorce mediation in Marin. The amicable divorce process keeps the decisions in your hands — and saves you time, money, and stress.** We are sure that you have many questions that keep you awake at night. We will help you achieve a divorce that is amicable with peaceful solutions and very cost-effective. In every single case, we will save you thousands of dollars over litigating your matter, as well as a much better outcome. We are here to guide you through the uncontested divorce process and show you alternative ways to achieve a divorce that is safe, affordable and fair. In California, almost 70 to 80% of divorces are done amicably, which is not widely publicized. In our office, there is no pressure to force you to do anything that does not feel safe and comfortable to you. If we can help you come to an agreement, then you do not even have to go to court. We’ll take care of everything for you, and your job will be to figure out how to move forward to your new way of life. **There are no retainers, hidden costs, etc.** Our clients come from all walks of life and we have even helped some attorneys achieve their divorce with dignity. We know and understand what you are going through-it is not easy, but we will do everything we can to help you and your children through this process as peacefully as possible and support you. **MISSION:** At Divorce With Dignity – Marin and Sonoma, our mission is to help clients achieve an amicable divorce, no-court divorce. You will not even have to go to court, if you can come to an agreement. Our goal is to help our clients find a safe place, when they must go through the divorce process, and to help them leave broken, unhappy relationships in a dignified, amicable manner. **WE HELP YOU:** - Take each step from start to finish - Understand the divorce process and keep your peace of mind - Make sure your divorce is done properly with professional expertise - Save time, money, and frustration during this difficult transition **SERVICES PROVIDED:** - **Divorce Planning and Facilitation:** If you’re unsure of what you’d like to do, we will educate you on the process, evaluate which issues are in agreement/disagreement and then help you come up with an informal plan of action. - **Online Mediation:** If clients are in disagreement on certain issues, we’ll help the clients reach an agreement through formal mediation. As a certified mediator, Gina serves as a neutral third party, and works with the clients to resolve disagreements and move through the process amicably. - **Legal Document Preparation:** Once clients are in agreement, we will process and file your documents with the court so that you don’t have to appear in court. ### *Specialties* - Amicable Divorce - Divorce Planning and Facilitation - Negotiation - Online Mediation - Spousal Support/Child Support - Parenting Plans - Marital Settlement Agreements - Prenuptial Agreements - Postnuptial Agreements - Estate Planning: Wills and Trusts - Deeds [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/5-Simple-Steps-Gina-Lee-Marin-Sonoma.pdf) [Subscribe to My Newsletter](https://mailchi.mp/a4a8804cf851/general-newsletter-sign-up) - [Follow](https://www.facebook.com/DivorceWithDignityMarinSonoma "Follow on Facebook") - [Follow](https://www.instagram.com/dwdignitymarin/ "Follow on Instagram") - [Follow](https://www.yelp.com/biz/divorce-with-dignity-marin-san-rafael-3 "Follow on Yelp") ### *More about Gina* ##### EXPERIENCE: Gina Lee, Esq. is a California licensed attorney specializing in amicable divorces settled outside of court since 2020. Prior to joining DWD, Gina ran her own tutorial business whereby she privately tutored clients in successfully passing the California Bar Exam. In line with her background in teaching the law, she supports clients by educating them on the divorce process and helping them understand their options. She provides the tools to empower clients to make educated decisions in determining what’s best for themselves and their families so that ultimately, they may avoid the pitfalls of having the court decide their fate. ##### LICENSES & CERTIFICATIONS: \+ California State Bar Member \+ Certified Mediator \+ 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training Certification ##### EDUCATION: - University of California, Hastings College of the Law Juris Doctorate - University of California, Davis Bachelor of Arts in Communications Bachelor of Arts in Political Science - Lowell High School, San Francisco ##### TESTIMONIALS: *Gina … is a knowledgeable, experienced, sensitive professional with terrific communication and organizational skills. The process went seamlessly from our first connection by phone to the final divorce paperwork. Her trustworthy advice and diligent effort culminated in a best case scenario outcome. My highest recommendation would be Gina Lee.* -Lezlie H. [Read More Reviews](https://g.page/r/CQp-GVz4ezEGEAE) ##### MORE ABOUT GINA: Gina is a Bay Area native. Read our blog post, “**[Get to Know Gina Lee](https://dwdignity.com/get-to-know-gina-lee/)**“ ##### AREAS SERVED: - Novato, CA - Tiburon, CA - Petaluma, CA - San Rafael, CA - Santa Rosa, CA - Marin County, CA - Novato, CA - Rohnert Park, CA - Sonoma, CA - Sonoma County, CA, USA - Petaluma, CA - Sausalito, CA - San Rafael, CA - San Rafael, CA - Mill Valley, CA - San Anselmo, CA # Contact Gina Name Email Address Message 14 + 4 = Submit [Schedule a Call](https://calendly.com/glee-dwdignity/15-minute-consult-25) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Amicable Divorce Mediation in Central Virginia with Breyette Lorntz](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-mediation-in-central-virginia-with-breyette-lorntz/) **Published:** November 28, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** Caroline McKinnon at Divorce With Dignity - SW Denver Metro offers compassionate, affordable mediation to help you navigate divorce with dignity and clarity. **Content:** ## DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY - CENTRAL VIRGINIA CORRIDOR ![Breyette Lorntz, PhD, Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Breyette-Lorntz-PhD-Virginia-Supreme-Court-Certified-Mediator.avif "Breyette Lorntz, PhD, Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator") # Divorce Mediation in Central Virginia ### Breyette Lorntz, PhD Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator #### [1010 East Main Street, Ste 102.13 Waynesboro, VA 22980](https://www.google.com/maps/search/?api=1&query=1010+East+Main+Street+Ste+102.13+Waynesboro+VA+22980) #### **P: [434-207-8015]()** [Schedule a Free Call](https://fantastical.app/breyettelorntz/30-minute-discovery-session) ## **You’re Facing a Life Change No One Prepares You For** Most people going through separation feel some combination of: - overwhelmed - emotionally exhausted - unsure what comes next - afraid of making the wrong decisions - wanting to protect their children - wanting peace but unsure how to get there If that describes you, you’re not alone. You may be carrying sadness, frustration, fear about finances, or worry about the future — while still trying to function in daily life. It’s a lot. Mediation offers you a way to move forward with **more control, more calm, and far less conflict** than the traditional legal route. You don’t have to battle through this. You don’t have to go to war with the person you once built a life with. You don’t have to figure everything out at once. **There is a way through this that protects your dignity and helps you make clear, thoughtful decisions. **Breyette helped us communicate for the first time in months**. Her calm, steady approach made everything feel manageable. We walked in overwhelmed and walked out with a clear path forward. J.M. **I felt heard, respected, and guided — never judged.** Mediation with Breyette brought the tension down immediately. She helped us make decisions thoughtfully instead of reacting out of stress. A.R. **This process gave us clarity and peace we didn’t think was possible.** Breyette created a safe space where we could talk, listen, and plan a future that felt fair for both of us and our kids. K.S. ## **Meet Breyette Lorntz, PhD** ### A steady, supportive presence when you need clarity the most When you sit down with Breyette, you’ll notice something rare: you feel like you can breathe again. She creates a calm, grounded environment where you can talk about incredibly difficult topics without the arguments, fear, or emotional overwhelm you may be used to. People describe feeling: - heard - respected - understood - Comfortable expressing their perspective - guided instead of judged - able to communicate even when it’s been hard Her focus isn’t just on agreements — it’s on helping you move from tension and confusion to **clarity, stability, and forward momentum**. Divorce is not just paperwork. It’s emotional, relational, and deeply human. You deserve someone who knows how to guide you through all of that — not just the logistics. Her goal is simple: help both of you make thoughtful, stable decisions in a space that feels calm, fair, and manageable. She works comfortably with clients from a wide range of backgrounds, beliefs, and values. ## **What It Means to Work With a Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator** Choosing a certified mediator gives you structure, safety, and clear expectations throughout the process. You can expect: **✔ Neutral support** No sides. No pressure. Just balanced guidance. **✔ Confidential conversations** Your private matters stay private. **✔ A voluntary, respectful process** You stay in control of the pace and participation. **✔ Clear expectations** You’ll receive Virginia’s required **Agreement to Mediate** outlining confidentiality, your rights, the mediator’s role, and the process. **✔ Ethical, high-standard practice** Certification requires ongoing training and strict adherence to Virginia’s mediation standards. This framework helps you feel grounded, prepared, and supported. ## **Mediation Services for Your Next Chapter** Because mediation is designed to meet you where you are, the process adapts to your situation: **✓ Divorce Mediation (Full Financial & Property Decisions)** Work through assets, debts, budgets, retirement, housing, and transitions with guidance that keeps things clear and manageable. **✓ Parenting Plans** Create a child-centered plan that supports stability, healthy communication, and long-term co-parenting. **✓ Separation Agreements** For couples who want clear structure while separating — even before filing. **✓ Support Discussions** A calm, neutral space to work through support decisions. **✓ Unmarried Parent Mediation** Clarify parenting schedules, responsibilities, and communication for families not seeking divorce. **✓ Post-Divorce Adjustments** Modify schedules or agreements when life circumstances change. This process helps you avoid misunderstandings, miscommunication, and costly legal conflict. [Schedule a Free Call](https://fantastical.app/breyettelorntz/30-minute-discovery-session) ## **Why Families Choose Mediation (and Why They Choose Breyette)** **You may be here because:** - you want a peaceful process - you don’t want a courtroom battle - you want your children to be okay - you want clarity around finances - you want structure without hostility - you want to stay in control of your decisions **And people choose Breyette because she offers:** ✔ a calm atmosphere when emotions feel heavy ✔ steady, grounded communication ✔ a trauma-informed, human-centered approach ✔ deep respect for both people ✔ clear, non-overwhelming guidance ✔ the ability to reduce tension and open communication You don’t need to have everything figured out before you begin. You simply need a safe, steady guide — and that’s what she’s here for. ## **How the Mediation Process Works** **Step 1 — Free Discovery Call** You share your concerns, questions, and immediate needs. **Step 2 — Guided Preparation (in Phases)** No overwhelm. Just small, manageable steps at the right time. **Step 3 — Mediation Sessions** We work through financial topics, property, parenting, communication, and transitions. **Step 4 — Written Summary or Agreement** You’ll receive a clear document outlining your decisions. **Step 5 — Filing (Optional)** If you choose the uncontested route, you handle filing independently or with your own legal adviser. **Serving Central Virginia Families** Breyette works with individuals and families across Central Virginia, including Charlottesville, Albemarle County, Augusta County, Waynesboro, Staunton, Harrisonburg, Rockingham County, and the surrounding region. For those outside this area — or for couples who prefer convenience or privacy — she offers virtual mediation anywhere in the state of Virginia. **You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone** If you’re feeling overwhelmed, unsure where to begin, or worried about the future — mediation can help you find a clearer, calmer path forward. [Schedule a Free Call](https://fantastical.app/breyettelorntz/30-minute-discovery-session) ## **Serving Central Virginia Families** Breyette works with individuals and families across Central Virginia, including Charlottesville, Albemarle County, Augusta County, Waynesboro, Staunton, Harrisonburg, Rockingham County, and the surrounding region. For those couples who prefer convenience or privacy — she offers virtual mediation. ### *Specialities* - Divorce Mediation - Parenting Plans - Separation Agreements - Support Discussions - Unmarried Parent Mediation - Post-Divorce Adjustments [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/DWD-Central-Virginia-Corridor-One-Page-Download.pdf) - [Follow](https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorntz/ "Follow on LinkedIn") - [Follow](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61583928576360 "Follow on Facebook") - [Follow](https://www.instagram.com/divorcewdignity_centralva/ "Follow on Instagram") - [Follow](https://www.youtube.com/@DivorceWithDignity-CentralVA "Follow on Youtube") ### *More about Breyette* ##### AREAS SERVED: **Where I Serve Clients in Central Virginia** My mediation services are available **in and around** Richmond, Charlottesville, and the Shenandoah Valley. This includes: - **Richmond Area:** Richmond (City), Chesterfield County, Henrico County, Hanover County, Goochland County, Powhatan County - **Charlottesville Area:** Charlottesville (City), Albemarle County, Fluvanna County, Louisa County, Greene County - **Shenandoah Valley:** Augusta County, Rockingham County, Shenandoah County, Staunton (City), Waynesboro (City), Harrisonburg (City), Lexington City, Rockbridge County If you’re looking for **divorce mediation in Central Virginia**, I serve clients across all listed counties and surrounding communities. ##### EXPERIENCE: **Virginia Supreme Court Certified Mediator – General District Court, Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court, and Circuit Court Family** Providing divorce, separation, parenting, and post-divorce mediation across Central Virginia. **Founder – Mediation & Conflict Resolution Practice** Led private mediation services focusing on family conflict, trauma-informed practice, and communication-based problem solving. **Adjunct Professor – James Madison University** Teaches graduate-level courses on ethical decision-making and governance. **Director & Designer – Mediation in the Digital Age (MIDA), James Madison University** Creates and leads an innovative digital-age mediation curriculum for JMU, integrating ethics, communication, AI literacy, and modern mediation practice. **Leadership & Research Roles** More than a decade in education, research, and community-facing work supporting families and conflict resolution. ##### EDUCATION: **PhD – University of Virginia** **MA – Appalachian State University** **BA – University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill** **Languages:** Spanish (Limited Working) ##### MORE ABOUT BREYETTE: Clients describe Breyette as warm, grounding, empathetic, and deeply committed to helping people navigate difficult transitions with dignity. She brings: - a steady presence - patient, trauma-informed communication - nonjudgmental listening - clarity and structure - respect for each person’s story - and comfort working with families from a wide range of cultural, personal, and faith backgrounds. Her mission is simple: **To help both people move forward with clarity, stability, and dignity — no matter how complex the situation feels.** # Contact Breyette **You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone** If you’re feeling overwhelmed, unsure where to begin, or worried about the future — mediation can help you find a clearer, calmer path forward. Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email Name Message Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) **About Divorce With Dignity** For over 30 years, Divorce With Dignity has been helping individuals and families navigate divorce with respect, transparency, and compassion. Our proven process provides the tools and support you need to achieve a peaceful resolution, saving you time, money, and stress. [Schedule a Free Call](https://fantastical.app/breyettelorntz/30-minute-discovery-session) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Amicable Divorce Mediation in SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/amicable-divorce-mediation-in-sw-denver-metro/) **Published:** November 19, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** Caroline McKinnon at Divorce With Dignity - SW Denver Metro offers compassionate, affordable mediation to help you navigate divorce with dignity and clarity. **Content:** # AMICABLE DIVORCE MEDIATION IN SW DENVER METRO ## A respectful, affordable alternative to litigation. **Work together to make informed decisions, reduce conflict, and protect your ability to co-parent.** ![Caroline McKinnon - SW Denver Metro](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Caroline-McKinnon-Divorce-With-Dignity-SW-Denver-Metro-Circle-Headshot.png) ### Caroline McKinnon, Esq. Divorce Mediator #### #### 4 West Dry Creek Cir, Ste. 100 Littleton, CO 80120 #### **P: [(720) 239-2159]()** [Book Your Free 15-Minute Clarity Call](https://go.oncehub.com/CarolineMcKinnon) ## **Divorce doesn’t have to be adversarial or expensive.** Working with a neutral mediator allows both of you to discuss concerns, clarify priorities, and make decisions that respect everyone involved — especially your children. I help couples in Littleton, Highlands Ranch, Centennial, Englewood, and the greater SW Denver metro area navigate divorce calmly, efficiently, and with dignity. ## **Why Mediation?** **Mediation Helps You:** - Avoid expensive court battles - Maintain privacy and control — no judge deciding for you - Reduce stress and uncertainty during a major life transition - Create a workable, child-focused co-parenting plan - Move forward with clarity and mutual respect **Who This Is For:** Couples who want a **fair and steady process**, even if communication is currently strained. ## **Meet Caroline** **Calm, Practical Guidance. Transparent Process.** Caroline provides structured mediation that keeps discussion organized, solution-focused, and respectful. Her role is to facilitate conversation, ensure each person is heard, and help you reach clear agreements you can both live with. Specialties: - Parenting plan & decision-making - Financial and property agreements - Communication support and long-term planning **You remain the decision-makers.** Caroline guides the process — the outcomes are yours. ## How It Works — Simple 3-Step Process **Step** **What Happens** **Time/Cost** 1. Free 15-Minute Call Discuss your situation, ask questions, understand the process. No Cost 2. Mediation Sessions Conducted together over Zoom or in-person. Structured & solution-focused. Pay per session 3. Final Agreement You leave with a clear, written set of agreements to file with the court. Filing guidance available **Clear pricing and transparency provided before services begin.** No surprises. [Book Your Free 15-Minute Clarity Call](https://go.oncehub.com/CarolineMcKinnon) ## If You Have Children – A Child-Focused Approach Divorce impacts everyone — but children feel the ripple effects most. Caroline helps parents develop **stable, realistic, and flexible parenting plans** that support healthy co-parenting over time. The goal: Consistency for children, and reduced stress for parents. ## **FAQs** ##### Is mediation legally binding? Mediation is a cooperative decision-making process. Once agreements are finalized, they can be filed with the court to become legally recognized. ##### Do we have to get along to mediate? No. Many couples begin mediation in disagreement. Caroline provides structure to help you work through decisions calmly. ##### What if we already agree on most things? Great — mediation makes the remaining steps faster and more affordable. ## Ready to talk through your situation? Schedule a free 15-minute clarity call. No pressure. Just information and next steps. [Book Your Free Clarity Call](https://go.oncehub.com/CarolineMcKinnon) --- ### [Amicable Divorce Services in Montgomery and Howard Counties, MD - Azizah Ahmad, Esq.](https://dwdignity.com/azizah-ahmad-esq-amicable-divorce-services-in-montgomery-howard-counties-md/) **Published:** March 19, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** Caroline McKinnon at Divorce With Dignity - SW Denver Metro offers compassionate, affordable mediation to help you navigate divorce with dignity and clarity. **Content:** # DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY - MONTGOMERY AND HOWARD ![Azizah Ahmad - Divorce With Dignity - Montgomery and Howard](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/Azizah-Ahmad-DWD-Montgomery-Howard-Circle-Photo.png) ### Azizah Ahmad, Esq. ### 2 Wisconsin Circle, Suite 700 Chevy Chase, MD 20815 ### Phone/Text: (240) 203-9329 [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/AzizahAhmadEsq) ## **Find Clarity, Control, and Peace in Your Divorce** Divorce doesn’t have to feel like a battle. It can be a peaceful transition — if you have the right guide. At Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery and Howard County, I help individuals and couples move through divorce with respect, fairness, and confidence. Whether you’re worried about courtrooms, legal paperwork, or protecting your family’s future, I provide a clear, structured process that replaces conflict with calm. ### **Meet Azizah Ahmad, Esq.** I bring not only professional experience but personal understanding of this work. After experiencing a lengthy and contentious divorce process, which resulted in her negative long-term impacts of my family. I decided that is was my path to help others stay out of court by focusing solely on the field of amicable divorce and mediation. Over the years, I’ve earned multiple mediation certifications, became a certified domestic violence counselor, and developed expertise in working with high-conflict situations. My life experience deepens my practice. As the mother of three children with learning disabilities, I have firsthand knowledge of what it takes to advocate for family needs, make tough decisions, and remain resilient through challenges — qualities I bring to every case. ### **You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone** Divorce is more than legal documents. It’s untangling a life, redefining family, and making hard decisions in uncertain times. I’ve been there myself — I understand how overwhelming it can feel. That’s why I help you take back control, avoid unnecessary conflict, and make thoughtful decisions that set you and your family up for a stronger future. ### **How I Help You** No-Court Divorce: If both parties agree, you never have to set foot in a courtroom. I prepare and file all legal documents for you. - **Clear Process:** We’ll meet in a calm, structured setting where both sides are heard and respected. - **Professional Guidance:** As an attorney and certified mediator, I’ll help you stay focused on resolution — not conflict. - **Compassionate Support:** I understand the emotions involved and guide you through the practical steps with empathy and clarity. *Services provided are for mediation and settlement support only; no legal advice or attorney representation is offered.* ### **Why Clients and Colleagues Trust Me** With extensive legal and mediation experience, combined with a lifetime of family advocacy, I offer a unique balance of professional skill and personal empathy. Whether you are dividing assets, planning for co-parenting, or simply seeking clarity, I am here to guide you with respect and fairness. ### **My Mission** At Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery and Howard County, my mission is to provide a safe, professional space for couples and individuals to reach peaceful, amicable divorce agreements — without court battles, without unnecessary stress, and with dignity. ### **Ready to Start?** You deserve a clear plan, compassionate guidance, and a respectful path forward. Contact me today to schedule a free consultation and take the first step toward peace and clarity. ### *Specialities* - Amicable Divorce Planning - Online Mediation - Spousal and Child Support Agreements - Parenting Plans and Co-Parenting Facilitation - Marital Settlement Agreements - Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements - Cohabitation Agreements - Faith-Based Communities - Family Law Document Preparation [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/5-Simple-Steps-Azizah-Ahmad-Esq.pdf) [Subscribe to Newsletter](http://eepurl.com/jbeemY) - [Follow](https://www.linkedin.com/in/azizah-ahmad-esq-5846691a6/ "Follow on LinkedIn") - [Follow](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574107480128 "Follow on Facebook") - [Follow](https://www.instagram.com/dwdignity_montgomery_howard/ "Follow on Instagram") - [Follow](https://www.yelp.com/biz/divorce-with-dignity-montgomery-and-howard-chevy-chase "Follow on Yelp") ### *More about Azizah* ##### EDUCATION: - Juris Doctor from Howard University School of Law - Bachelors of Science Degree from the University of Florida - Multiple certifications in mediation and conflict resolution ##### EXPERIENCE: - Extensive legal experience, with a focus on appellate law and family law - Skilled family law mediator - Extensive experience preparing legal documents and guiding families through mediation ##### PERSONAL: - Mother of three children with learning disabilities - Passionate advocate for family needs and resilience - Known for empathy, attention to detail, and a solutions-oriented approach - Certified children’s yoga instructor ## CONTACT AZIZAH Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email \* Message Name Email Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) **About Divorce With Dignity** For over 25 years, Divorce With Dignity has been helping individuals and families navigate divorce with respect, transparency, and compassion. Our proven process provides the tools and support you need to achieve a peaceful resolution, saving you time, money, and stress. **Discover the Difference a Trusted Mediator Can Make** With Azizah Ahmad and Divorce With Dignity – Montgomery and Howard, you’re in capable hands. Azizah brings years of experience, empathy, and professionalism to every case, ensuring your divorce process is as peaceful and collaborative as possible. **Your Peaceful Divorce Starts Here** Take control of your future with a process that prioritizes dignity, respect, and collaboration. Contact Azizah Ahmad today and start building the foundation for your next chapter. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/AzizahAhmadEsq) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [The Peaceful Path with an Amicable Divorce in Dallas / Ft. Worth, TX](https://dwdignity.com/angela-martinez-dallas-tx/) **Published:** January 17, 2025 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency, discretion, and no pressure. Offering amicable Divorce Mediation in Dallas County, TX. **Content:** # DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY - DALLAS / FT. WORTH ![Angela Martinez Divorce With Dignity - Dallas](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Angela-Martinez-Divorce-With-Dignity-Dallas-CIR.png) ## **Angela Martinez** ### Divorce and Family Mediator ### ***Serving Dallas & Tarrant Counties, TX*** ## 601 N. Main St, #1020, Euless, TX 76039 ### **Phone/Text: [(214) 699-9161](tel:214-699-9161)** [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/DWD-Dallas) # **Amicable Divorce Mediation in Dallas / Ft. Worth, TX** **Are You Ready for a Peaceful Divorce?** Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be a battle. If you’re seeking an amicable way to dissolve your marriage while staying in control of the process, Divorce With Dignity – Dallas/Ft. Worth can help. Our divorce mediation services empower you to resolve disputes efficiently, save money, and protect what matters most—your family and your future. **Why Choose Mediation with Divorce with Dignity – Dallas / Ft.Worth?** Divorce and family mediation in Texas offers a more flexible, cost-effective, and respectful alternative to litigation. Whether you’re represented by legal counsel or representing yourself as ProSe, our mediation process allows you to: - Save Time and Money: Avoid the delays and expenses of court proceedings. - Stay in control of the outcome: Make decisions about your property, finances, and family on your terms. - Reduce Stress: Resolve conflicts in a neutral, supportive environment. - Focus on Family: Sustain family dynamics and protect your children’s emotional well-being; Create co-parenting agreements that work for your unique and individual circumstances. - Begin the next chapter of your life with more knowledge, confidence, and peace of mind. In many cases, Texas mediation requires minimal or no input from the court. ## **How Mediation Works:** Following your free 30-minute discovery and consultation call, if you decide mediation aligns with your goals, here’s a clear overview of what comes next to move forward with confidence. ### Step 1: Plan and Prepare Phase **Session Format Options:** - Joint meetings for collaboration and shared understanding. - Individual sessions for personal reflection and proposal prep. - Or both **Define Scope of Mediation:** - Identify issues to be addressed (custody, financials, living arrangements, etc.). - Decide which topics require immediate attention vs. those that can wait. - Determine the amount of time required for mediation to cover all topics; time needed may change throughout the process. **Set Short-Term Timelines:** - Choose key dates for submitting required documentation. - Establish benchmarks for proposal sharing and feedback. ### Step 2: Mediation Phase **Review Interest-Based Proposals:** - Each spouse outlines personal priorities (e.g., parenting schedules, home ownership, retirement plans). - Focus on needs, values, and goals rather than positions alone. **Issue Identification:** - Briefly go over issues previously discussed in Step 1, and/or discuss new issues - Prioritize matters for discussion. **Negotiation:** - Explore options collaboratively or separately (caucus) in effort to find mutually acceptable solutions. **Draft Agreements:** - Document resolutions clearly - Outline agreed terms in adherence to Texas Family Code § 6.602 **Finalize Mediation:** - Pro Se clients are encouraged to seek a licensed Texas Family Attorney outside of Divorce With Dignity – DFW’s to review the agreement prior signing. - Review and sign finalized agreement - Conclude mediation with clear outcomes. ## **Our Commitment to You:** We value your time, resources, and emotional well-being. Here’s what sets us apart: - **Flat-Rate Pricing:** No retainers or hidden fees. Our services are transparent and budget-friendly. - **Convenient Virtual Sessions:** Evening and weekend sessions are available to fit your busy life. (In-person mediations are case-by-case at an additional cost.) - **Neutral Guidance:** We remain impartial while helping both parties work toward solutions that benefit everyone involved. - **Confidentiality and Respect:** Your privacy and comfort are our priorities. ## **Meet Angela Martinez** Angela Martinez brings over 20 years of experience in negotiations, conflict resolution, and consumer finance. As a former corporate mediation officer for a leading multinational bank, she facilitated more than 1,000 foreclosure and bankruptcy mediations nationwide and served as a subject matter expert helping homeowners in financial hardship retain homeownership. Drawing on her professional expertise and personal experience navigating divorce with children, Angela’s philosophy is rooted in empowerment. She provides a neutral, compassionate perspective to help couples and individuals stabilize, protect, and maintain both financial and emotional wellbeing during life’s most challenging transitions. **Service Areas** We proudly serve communities throughout Dallas and Tarrant Counties. ## **Still Unsure About Mediation?** Imagine starting the next chapter of your life with less stress, more financial security, and a clear plan for your family’s future. Mediation gives you that opportunity—and we’re here to guide you every step of the way. If mediation doesn’t resolve all issues, the insights gained during mediation can better prepare you for litigation, potentially saving time and resources as you continue on the path of divorce. ### *Specialties* - Divorce Mediation - Co-Parenting Mediation - Divorce Planning - Marital Property Division & Strategy - Mediated Settlement Agreement - Parenting Plan [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/5-Simple-Steps-Angela-Martinez-Divorce-With-Dignity-Dallas.pdf) [![Mediate.com Premium Member](https://mediate.com/_badges/2025-badge-premium.png)](https://mediate.com/mediator-profile/Angela-Martinez/?id=40247 "Mediate.com Profile") ### *More about Angela* ##### CERTIFICATIONS - **Texas Certified Mediator** - Advanced Civil and Advanced Family Mediation - **Divorce Lending Association – Real Estate Mediation Specialist Certification (REM-S)** - **AFCPE – Accredited Financial Counselor** - Certified to provide education and guidance on managing and reducing consumer debt and improving financial stability. Angela does NOT provide investment, tax, or wealth-building advice and is not a licensed financial advisor. All information is for educational purposes only; individuals should seek and consult a licensed professional for personalized investment or financial guidance. # Contact Angela TODAY Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Message Name Email Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) ## **Contact Us Today.** Take the first step toward a peaceful resolution. Schedule your consultation with Divorce With Dignity – Dallas / Ft. Worth and start building a brighter future. [Schedule Your Free Discovery Session](https://go.oncehub.com/DWD-Dallas) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Divorce Document Preparation in Placer & Sacramento, CA - Debbie Main](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-document-preparation-in-placer-sacramento-ca-debbie-main/) **Published:** June 17, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency and no pressure. **Content:** # DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY - PLACER AND SACRAMENTO ![Debbie Main, LDA – Divorce Document Preparation Placer Sacramento](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Debbie-Main-1.png) ## Debbie Main, LDA ### **Divorce Services Provider** ## 6518 Lone Tree #2057, Rocklin, CA 95765 ## P: [916-243-5449]() [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/DebbieMain) ## **Divorce Document Preparation in Placer & Sacramento, CA** *Affordable, Flat-Fee Divorce Services Without Court or Conflict* ## **Divorce Doesn’t Have to Be a Fight. Let’s Make It Peaceful—and Personal.** **Serving Placer & Sacramento Counties with experience, compassion, and a practical path forward.** If you’re looking for **divorce document preparation in Placer or Sacramento**, you’re in the right place. Whether you’re the one initiating divorce or simply trying to respond without it spiraling out of control, you don’t need a lawyer to get through it—you need a clear process, the right documents, and someone who knows how to guide you through California’s family court system. I’m **Debbie Main**, a registered Legal Document Assistant (LDA) with over 15 years of legal experience. I specialize in helping people just like you complete their divorce **without going to court or hiring an attorney**—saving time, money, and stress. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/DebbieMain) ## **You’re in the Right Place If…** - You want to end your marriage with dignity, not drama - You’re trying to avoid the high costs of hiring a lawyer - You need help **completing divorce documents correctly and efficiently** - You live in **Placer or Sacramento County** and want to stay out of court My services are ideal for **amicable, no-court divorce**. If you and your spouse are ready to cooperate—or at least communicate—we can complete your divorce paperwork without litigation or delay. ## **What I help With** I offer **flat-fee divorce services** that support your goal of staying out of court and moving forward with confidence. My services include: - Complete **Divorce Document Preparation in Placer & Sacramento Counties** - Filing guidance and document review - Affordable, no-surprise pricing - Process support for Joint or Individual filings - Real-life guidance from someone who understands both the paperwork and the emotional journey ## **How to Get Started** Here’s how to move forward—without the stress: ### Step 1: Schedule a Free Discovery Call We’ll talk through your situation and see if my services are the right fit for your needs. ### Step 2: Choose Your Package I’ll explain your flat-fee options and exactly what’s included. You’ll never be surprised by hidden costs or confusing paperwork. ### Step 3: Complete Your Divorce with Confidence I’ll guide you through each step of the documentation and filing process so you can complete your divorce calmly and correctly. Schedule Your Free call by clicking the button below. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/DebbieMain) ## Meet Debbie **Practical. Personable. Here to Help You Move Forward.** Hi, I’m Debbie Main—and I’ve walked this road myself. In my early 20s, I was a young mom of four, working in a grocery store and figuring out life after divorce. I went back to school, earned my paralegal certification, and discovered a passion for legal work—especially helping others navigate difficult transitions with calm and clarity. Over the past 15+ years, I’ve worked in law firms across **Sacramento and Placer Counties**, from civil defense to wrongful death and family law. Today, I focus exclusively on **divorce document preparation in Placer and Sacramento** through the **Divorce With Dignity Network**. I’ve built a life—and a business—on the belief that even hard things can be handled with grace when you have the right support. #### Why Work With Me? - Over 15 years of experience navigating California’s legal systems - Compassionate, real-world insight from someone who’s been there - Clear, flat-fee packages—no surprises, no pressure - Friendly, approachable, and detail-oriented - A Divorce With Dignity provider who believes in peaceful resolution ## 📍 Serving Placer and Sacramento Counties I work with couples in Roseville, Rocklin, Lincoln, Auburn, Folsom, Granite Bay, Loomis, Citrus Heights, and surrounding areas who want to complete their divorce peacefully—without going to court, hiring attorneys, or creating unnecessary conflict. ## You Don't Have to Do this Alone. You can move forward without fear or confusion. If you’re looking for a divorce document preparation professional in Placer or Sacramento, let’s talk. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/DebbieMain) ### *Specialities* - Divorce Coaching - Co-Parenting Mediation - Divorce Paperwork - Divorce Planning & Facilitation [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Debbie-Main-LDA-Divorce-With-Dignity-Placer-and-Sacramento.pdf) - [Follow](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61577281807986 "Follow on Facebook") - [Follow](https://www.instagram.com/dwdignity_sacramento/ "Follow on Instagram") - [Follow](http://x.com/dwdignity_sac "Follow on X") - [Follow](https://www.linkedin.com/showcase/divorce-with-dignity-placer-and-sacramento/ "Follow on LinkedIn") - [Follow](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI7OuzRaPcSQxwMfoUFl1pA "Follow on Youtube") ### *More about Debbie* ##### EDUCATION: - Paralegal Certificate – MTI College, Sacramento - Registered Legal Document Assistant (LDA) – Placer County - Ongoing family law and legal process training ##### EXPERIENCE: - Over 15 years in legal support roles, including: - Civil litigation (wrongful death, insurance defense) - Family law (1.5 years focused on divorce and co-parenting) - Office Manager, Paralegal, and Legal Secretary - Specializing in **amicable divorce document preparation in Placer and Sacramento** ##### PERSONAL: - Raised four children (all under five at once!) and successfully co-parented after her own divorce - Now a proud grandmother of five - Loves playing pickleball, visiting garage sales, and spending time with her husband, friends, and family - Believes in building strong foundations—because that’s the only way to build something that lasts # Contact Debbie TODAY *Have questions or want to get started? Use this contact form to reach out to Debbie directly. She’s here to support you every step of the way.* Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Message Email Name Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) About Divorce With Dignity For over 25 years, Divorce With Dignity has been helping individuals and families navigate divorce with respect, transparency, and compassion. Our proven process provides the tools and support you need to achieve a peaceful resolution, saving you time, money, and stress. Discover the difference a trusted partner can make. With Debbie Main and Divorce With Dignity – Placer and Sacramento, you’re in capable hands. Your Peaceful Divorce Starts Here Take control of your future with a process that prioritizes dignity, respect, and collaboration. Contact Debbie Main today and start building the foundation for your next chapter. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/DebbieMain) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Cory J. Flohr - Amicable Divorce Services in South Metro Colorado](https://dwdignity.com/cory-j-flohr-amicable-divorce-services-in-south-metro-colorado/) **Published:** May 20, 2025 **Author:** Farrah **Excerpt:** We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency and no pressure. **Content:** # DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY - SOUTH METRO COLORADO ![Cory J. Flohr, Divorce Mediator](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Cory-J.-Flohr-Divorce-Mediator-1.png) ## Cory J. Flohr ### **Divorce Mediation & Services Provider** ## 10233 S Parker Road, Ste 300, Parker, CO 80134 ## P: [303-900-8428]() [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/CoryJFlohr) ### *Empowered Divorce Solutions—for Families Who Choose Peace Over Court.* ## **Divorce Doesn’t Have to Be a Battle** If you’re facing divorce, you’re likely overwhelmed—by the decisions, the paperwork, and the emotional toll. You might be asking: *How do I protect my kids? Can we do this without court? Is there a way to make clear decisions without destroying what’s left?* There is. At **Divorce With Dignity – South Metro Colorado**, I help couples like you resolve divorce peacefully and practically—through structured **mediation** and guided **paperwork support** that keeps you out of court and in control. Whether you’re working toward full agreement or just need help navigating the legal process, I provide calm, confidential, and judgment-free support. Families in **Douglas and El Paso counties** trust me to help them divorce with clarity, avoid unnecessary legal battles, and preserve what matters most: their relationships, their children’s well-being, and their financial future. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/CoryJFlohr) ## **Why Choose Divorce With Dignity – South Metro Colorado** **Couples choose my practice because they want to:** - Avoid court and costly litigation - Stay in control of their divorce process - Minimize stress for their children - Preserve long-term co-parenting and extended family relationships - Complete paperwork and legal steps with confidence and accuracy I work with professionals, business owners, and families from all walks of life—but I have a special understanding of those in high-demand, high-travel careers, like aviation, consulting, and government service. If you’re trying to manage family transitions alongside a demanding career, I can help you create a clear path forward. ## **A Better Divorce Is Possible** Litigation can drag families through months of tension, legal expenses, and emotional trauma. But it’s not the only option. In most cases, a non-adversarial, structured process—led by a trained mediator and supported with accurate paperwork—can help you resolve your divorce efficiently and respectfully. My role is to guide you through every step, from the first decision to the final filing. You’ll never be rushed. Never judged. And never forced into something you don’t agree with. ## **The Process: Simple. Private. Empowering.** Getting started is easier than you think—and every step is designed to give you clarity, peace of mind, and control over your divorce. ### **1)** Schedule Your Free Consultation We’ll begin with a 20–30 minute phone or Zoom call to discuss your situation and goals. I’ll explain your options, answer your questions, and help you decide whether **mediation**, **divorce paperwork support**, or a combination of both is the right fit. ### **2)** Choose the Right Path for You Some couples are ready to work together in mediation. Others just need help navigating Colorado’s divorce forms and filing requirements. You’ll receive a clear, customized roadmap based on your timeline, comfort level, and budget. ### 3) Meet Privately & Work Together All sessions are confidential, structured, and designed to reduce conflict. We’ll move step-by-step through parenting plans, asset division, financial decisions, and final paperwork—always with compassion, clarity, and fairness. ### 4) Access Trusted Resources When Needed If additional professionals are needed—such as a legal reviewer, financial advisor, or therapist—I can connect you with **vetted, local, and affordable** resources. You stay in charge. I simply help you find the right tools at the right time. ### 5) File and Finalize with Confidence I’ll walk you through Colorado’s filing process and ensure your paperwork is accurate, complete, and ready for court approval—without surprises or stress. Most clients never step foot in a courtroom. ## Meet Cory Hi, I’m Cory Flohr—and this isn’t just a job for me. It’s a mission grounded in both professional experience and personal understanding. Before becoming a divorce mediator, I worked in high-pressure, high-responsibility environments—from the halls of Congress to the cockpit of commercial aircraft. I’ve advised on political strategy, navigated public service, and flown passengers across the country. These roles taught me how to remain calm under pressure, manage complexity, and prioritize what matters most. But none of those roles compares to being a father. I’ve been through divorce. I’ve had to co-parent. I know the strain it can put on your peace, your finances, and your children—and I also know that it is absolutely possible to do it well. My approach is rooted in structure, empathy, and clarity, because I believe that when people are supported, they can make wise, lasting decisions—even in the most emotional times. Today, I help couples navigate their divorce with the same steadiness and respect I needed during my own. I’ve built this practice to serve people who want clarity, not chaos. Peace, not power struggles. And a future they can feel proud of. ## 📍 Serving South Metro Colorado I work with couples in **Parker, Castle Rock, Highlands Ranch, Lone Tree, Colorado Springs**, and surrounding communities across Douglas and El Paso counties. Remote services available across Colorado. ## Ready to take the first step? Peaceful divorce is possible. Let’s talk about how to make it happen—for your family, your future, and your peace of mind. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/CoryJFlohr) ### *Specialities* - Divorce Coaching - Divorce Mediation - Co-Parenting Mediation - Divorce Paperwork - Divorce Planning & Facilitation [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/5-Simple-Steps-Mediation-One-Page-Download-Flier-Cory-J.-Flohr.pdf) - [Follow](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61576400638571 "Follow on Facebook") - [Follow](https://www.instagram.com/dwdignity.southmetroco/ "Follow on Instagram") - [Follow](https://x.com/dwdignity_smc "Follow on X") - [Follow](https://www.linkedin.com/showcase/divorce-with-dignity-south-metro-colorado/about "Follow on LinkedIn") - [Follow](https://www.youtube.com/@DWDignity-southmetroco "Follow on Youtube") ### *More about Cory* ##### EXPERIENCE: - Certified Divorce Mediator Trained in family law mediation, conflict resolution, and collaborative divorce techniques. - Divorce Services Provider Experienced in completing and filing Colorado divorce paperwork for couples seeking uncontested, out-of-court solutions. - Former Commercial Airline Pilot Deep understanding of the pressures placed on families by high-demand, travel-heavy careers. - Public Service Background Previously served in the U.S. House of Representatives and worked closely with elected leaders on high-level strategy and communication. - Co-Parent to Two Young Children Committed to creating family-centered solutions that support healthy long-term relationships between parents and children. - Professional Negotiator and Consultant Skilled in navigating high-stakes conversations and reaching clear, lasting agreements. ##### MORE ABOUT CORY: I bring a calm, structured presence to what can often feel like a chaotic and emotional time. My background spans public service, aviation, and strategic consulting—roles that demanded composure, precision, and responsibility under pressure. But perhaps the most important thing I bring to this work is personal insight. I’ve experienced the challenges of divorce and co-parenting firsthand, while raising two young children. I understand what it takes to prioritize your kids, protect relationships, and make wise decisions—especially when emotions run high. Clients often tell me they feel heard, respected, and supported throughout the process. That’s my goal. I’m here to help you move forward—not just with the right paperwork or agreements, but with peace of mind. # Contact Cory TODAY *Have questions or want to get started? Use this contact form to reach out to Cory Flohr directly. He’s here to support you every step of the way.* Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email Message Name Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) About Divorce With Dignity For over 25 years, Divorce With Dignity has been helping individuals and families navigate divorce with respect, transparency, and compassion. Our proven process provides the tools and support you need to achieve a peaceful resolution, saving you time, money, and stress. Discover the difference a trusted mediator can make. With Cory Flohr and Divorce With Dignity – South Metro Colorado, you’re in capable hands. Your Peaceful Divorce Starts Here Take control of your future with a process that prioritizes dignity, respect, and collaboration. Contact Cory Flohr today and start building the foundation for your next chapter. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/CoryJFlohr) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Get in touch with a Divorce With Dignity Provider](https://dwdignity.com/contact/) **Published:** July 14, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Discover a dignified approach to divorce. Our amicable process empowers you while saving time and money. Get in touch with our trusted team for a peaceful resolution. **Content:** ![Contact divorce with dignity](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Contact-divorce-with-dignity.jpg "Contact divorce with dignity") # Get in Touch with a Divorce With Dignity Provider Near You ###### *Note: You may also contact individual [Providers](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) from their profile page.* Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \*First Last Email \* Phone County (not counTRY) of residence? \* City, State of residence? \* Comment or Message \* Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) --- ### [Nicole R. Lewis, Esq. - Amicable Divorce Services in Solano and Napa, CA](https://dwdignity.com/nicole-lewis/) **Published:** March 10, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Empowered divorce coaching, mediation, and legal services in Napa & Solano. Nicole R. Lewis helps you divorce with clarity, strength, and no court. **Content:** # DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY - NAPA AND SOLANO ![Nicole Lewis Napa Solano Amicable Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Web-Page-Photo-Nicole-Lewis-Napa-and-Solano-1.png) ### Nicole R. Lewis, Esq #### 1300 First Street, Suite 368 Napa, CA 94559 #### 744 Empire Street, Suite 230 Fairfield, CA 94533 ## P: [(707) 408-2393]() [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/NicoleRLewis) # Nicole R. Lewis, Esq. – DivorceStrong™ Coaching, Mediation, and Amicable Divorce Services in Napa & Solano ***Empowering you through divorce with clarity, strength, and compassion — without court, conflict, or confusion.*** **A Healthier Way to Divorce — Right Here in Our Community** In Napa and Solano Counties, where family, wellness, and community values run deep, your divorce should reflect the same dignity and care you put into every other part of life. At **Divorce With Dignity – Napa and Solano**, **Nicole R. Lewis, Esq.** offers a compassionate and court-free path forward. Whether you’re seeking mediation, legal document help, or personal coaching, Nicole guides you with experience, emotional intelligence, and deep respect for the human side of divorce. Her approach helps you protect your peace, honor your family, and plan for the future — without unnecessary conflict or court involvement. ![Divorce StrongTM with Nicole R. Lewis, Esq.](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/What-if-divorce-didnt-have-to-break-you.png) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/NicoleRLewis) **Meet Nicole R. Lewis, Esq. – Your Guide to a Healthier Divorce Experience** *Family Law Attorney. Mediator. Wellness Leader. Napa & Solano Resident.* Nicole R. Lewis is a trusted voice in the Napa and Solano legal and wellness communities. As a **licensed California attorney**, **Certified Divorce Mediator**, and **founder of DivorceStrong™ Coaching**, she’s helped countless individuals and families navigate divorce without going to court — with less stress and more clarity. Raised with strong community values and now serving clients throughout the North Bay, Nicole brings over 20 years of legal experience combined with her background in **wellness coaching, fitness, and emotional resilience**. She understands that divorce isn’t just a legal problem — it’s a deeply human experience. With roots in public service, private practice, and personal growth, **Nicole blends practical legal knowledge with grounded, whole-person support**. Whether you’re walking into divorce full of questions or stuck in the middle of it all, Nicole offers calm, focused, and honest guidance you can trust. Clients from Napa, Vallejo, Fairfield, Benicia, Vacaville, and beyond appreciate Nicole’s direct yet compassionate approach. She’s here not just to complete documents or referee conversations — but to **help you regain confidence, dignity, and emotional stability** when it matters most. ## **OUR MISSION:** At Divorce With Dignity – Napa and Solano, our mission is to redefine the divorce experience for individuals and families in our community by offering a peaceful, empowering, and wellness-centered alternative to litigation. We believe divorce should not be a war — it should be a **turning point**. Through **DivorceStrong™ coaching, mediation, and legal support**, we help clients navigate divorce with dignity, emotional stability, and confidence. Our goal is to protect your peace, your children, and your future by providing practical tools, legal clarity, and whole-person support — all without the cost, conflict, or courtroom drama of traditional divorce. Rooted in the values of **empathy, empowerment, and efficiency**, we meet each client where they are — whether they’re just beginning to consider divorce or need help finalizing the process. With a focus on mental wellness, financial stability, and strong post-divorce foundations, our mission is to help you move forward with purpose, strength, and respect. Divorce may be the end of one chapter — but with the right support, it can also be the beginning of a stronger one. ## **WE HELP YOU:** - Navigate the entire divorce process with expert legal guidance, emotional support, and a wellness-based perspective — all without stepping into a courtroom. - Stay grounded and confident through the emotional ups and downs of divorce with structured coaching, mindset tools, and strategic planning. - Reach respectful, fair agreements that prioritize your goals, your family, and your future — without unnecessary conflict or cost. - Rebuild your life with strength and clarity through our DivorceStrong™ approach, combining legal insight with personal empowerment and wellness. ## **A UNIQUE FOCUS ON WELLNESS** Living and working in Napa and Solano, Nicole knows how deeply divorce can affect your mental health, parenting, work life, and sense of identity. That’s why she integrates wellness and resilience strategies into everything she does — not as an afterthought, but as a core part of her approach. With a background as a certified wellness coach and professional natural bodybuilder, Nicole offers: - Mind-body grounding practices - Tools for emotional regulation and nervous system relief - Fitness and wellness coaching for rebuilding after divorce - Empowerment-focused workshops for women and families Nicole believes that people in our communities deserve peaceful transitions and personal strength, not just legal closure. Her DivorceStrong™ model reflects this belief. ## **SERVICES PROVIDED** ### **> DivorceStrong™ Coaching** **One-on-one, attorney-informed support for individuals who want a better way through divorce.** DivorceStrong™ is Nicole’s signature service for individuals who are navigating divorce on their own. Whether you’re at the very beginning, stuck in uncertainty, or simply want to avoid expensive missteps, this coaching program provides personalized, holistic support. Many coaching clients come from **Napa’s tight-knit communities** or **Solano’s working families**, looking for a clear-headed guide who gets it. Nicole blends legal insights, wellness strategies, and emotional regulation tools to help you move forward — without unraveling. **You’ll receive support with:** - Legal process education (without representation) - Strategic planning + step-by-step action maps - Co-parenting transitions, communication strategies, and boundary work - Emotional grounding tools + wellness resources - Confidence to make decisions that protect your future Nicole also offers a **“Life of Your Divorce” concierge package**, where she’s available throughout your entire journey — a consistent, trusted support when things get difficult. ### **> Mediation:** **Respectful, structured communication for couples ready to work together — and stay out of court.** In both Napa and Solano, families want to minimize disruption — especially when kids are involved. Nicole’s mediation style reflects this value, helping couples focus on solutions and long-term peace. **Ideal for:** - Families prioritizing peaceful co-parenting - Couples seeking control over outcomes without litigation - People who want to reduce legal costs and avoid conflict Nicole creates a calm, future-focused environment where decisions are made collaboratively and respectfully. ### **> Legal Document Preparation:** **Reliable, accurate support for filing all your family law paperwork — with the care of someone who lives and works here.** Nicole provides efficient document prep services for clients who have reached agreement and want to finalize things legally, without error or delay. Whether you’re filing in **Napa Superior Court** or **Solano County Family Court**, Nicole ensures that your forms are completed accurately and filed properly, avoiding unnecessary rejections or delays. Services include: - Divorce filings and disclosures - Parenting agreements and stipulations - Paternity filings - Guardianships, conservatorships, wills, and trusts This is the kind of support you don’t realize you need until you have it — personal, precise, and done right the first time. ## **Let’s Create a Healthier Divorce Experience — Together** In Napa and Solano, families value connection, honesty, and peace — even in difficult times. Nicole R. Lewis, Esq. offers a new way to divorce that reflects those same values. Whether you’re ready to file or still figuring out your next step, Nicole is here to guide you with strength, clarity, and compassion — always court-free. [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/NicoleRLewis) ### *Specialities* - Family Law Documents - Holistic Divorce Coaching - Divorce Mediation - Co-Parenting Mediation - Paternity Filings - Living Trusts/Wills - Conservatorships - Guardianships [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/One-Pager-Nicole-Lewis-Divorce-With-Dignity-Napa-and-Solano.pdf) [Subscribe to Newsletter](http://eepurl.com/iXkQ0g) - [Follow](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61564815505436 "Follow on Facebook") - [Follow](https://www.instagram.com/dwdignitynapasolano/ "Follow on Instagram") - [Follow](https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-r-lewis-esq/ "Follow on LinkedIn") - [Follow](https://www.youtube.com/@DivorceWithDignity-Napa-Solano "Follow on Youtube") ### *More about Nicole* ##### EDUCATION: - Western State University College of Law, Fullerton CA | Juris Doctor degree, December 2000 (Admitted to practice law in the State of California on December 4, 2001) - California State University Fresno, Fresno, CA | Bachelor of Arts degree, Political Science – 1996 ##### AWARDS, HONORS & ACTIVITIES: **Professional** - 2007 California State Bar Diversity Award Nominee - January 2008 Excellent Service Award (Parker-Stanbury, LLP/Pre-Paid Legal Services, Inc.) - March 2008 Excellent Service Award (Parker-Stanbury, LLP/Pre-Paid Legal Services, Inc.) - August 2013 Appointed Judge Pro Tem, Santa Clara County Superior Court (Family Division) - January 2014 Appointed Judge Pro Tem, Sacramento County Superior Court (Family Law) **Law School** - 1997 – 1998 West Publishing Company Corpus Juris Secundum Award, Criminal Law (San Francisco Law School) American Jurisprudence Bancroft – Whitney Award, Criminal Law (San Francisco Law School) - Fall 1998 Eric Falconer Scholarship Recipient (San Francisco Law School) Ester F. Blum Foundation Award Recipient (San Francisco Law School) - Fall 2000 Dean’s Scholar Undergraduate - Spring 1993 Dean’s Honor List - Fall 1994 Dean’s List - Fall 1994 – Spring 1995 Associated Students Incorporated, Senator-At-Large - Spring 1995 Dean’s Honor List - Summer 1995 Political Field Study in Cuba, Participant - Fall 1995 Dean’s Honor List - Fall 1995 Black Faculty and Staff Scholarship Recipient - Spring 1996 Honorable Mention, National Black Graduate Student Research Conference - Spring 1996 Outstanding Student Award, Department of African American Studies ##### TRUSTED PROVIDER: - Licensed Family Law Attorney (California, since 2001) - Certified Divorce Mediator - Certified Wellness Coach + Fitness Expert - Over 20 years in public and private legal practice - Local offices in both Napa and Fairfield - Known for honesty, discretion, and practical empowerment - Deeply familiar with the local court systems, family dynamics, and community values - Offers a holistic, peaceful alternative to adversarial legal models ##### MORE ABOUT NICOLE: Nicole R. Lewis was born and raised in Vallejo, California. She earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science from California State University Fresno and her Juris Doctor degree from Western State University College of Law in Fullerton, California. Nicole has been a member of the State Bar of California since 2001. Prior to practicing law, Nicole worked for James Hahn’s mayoral campaign and then for the City of Los Angeles Mayor’s Office. She was a Mayoral Aide for Mayor James Hahn until July 2002 when she began her legal career as a Child Support Services Department Staff Attorney for the County of Los Angeles. Nicole has spent most of her career as a solo-practitioner and now practices all aspects of family law. She is especially known for being an honest and compassionate practitioner. She not only listens to her clients, but she also understands that many aspects of the family law process are difficult for individuals to navigate on their own. She is a trusted leader and has often handled other legal matters that her clients have faced. In addition to practicing law, Nicole has served as an Adjunct Law Professor at Irvine University College of Law where she taught torts and criminal law to first-year law students. When Nicole is not practicing law, she enjoys participating in fitness related activities and events. Nicole is a professional natural bodybuilder and competes in multiple shows throughout the year.. Nicole is also a Fitness Expert Contributor for STRONG Fitness Magazine. # Contact Nicole Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/NicoleRLewis) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Affordable Solutions for a Smooth and Peaceful Divorce Process](https://dwdignity.com/asma-bashir/) **Published:** March 31, 2025 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency and no pressure. **Content:** ![Asma Bashir](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/3.png "3") **Asma Bashir** 2570 N. First Street 2nd Floor, San Jose, CA 95131 ## P: [408-290-4551](tel:408-290-4551) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/AsmaBashir) # **Affordable Solutions for a Smooth and Peaceful Divorce Process** **Are you concerned about the financial and emotional toll of divorce on you, your family, and close friends?** **Are you unsure what to do and when to do it?** I provide amicable divorce services and a safe place and all the support you need to get through this, amicably, so you and your family can start a new phase! Even though I’m an attorney, it’s upsetting to see the effects a litigated divorce can have on a family, and I am here to help you avoid this and make better decisions — so that you retain your dignity and can move forward onto your new lives. I can help you: - Take each step from start to finish; - Understand the divorce process and keep your peace of mind; - Provide professional expertise to make sure your divorce is done correctly; and - Save time, money, and frustration through this difficult transition! ## Divorce is tough enough, but it doesn’t have to devastate your life. By going through an amicable divorce, you will be able to safely move to the next chapter in your life and your New Beginning! Let me help you avoid the pitfalls of a traditional or do-it-yourself divorce. Over the years, I have seen numerous costly and bitter divorces that have caused harm and lingering damage to everyone involved, especially the children. I am passionate about helping families and individuals like you through this process in a peaceful and cost-efficient way. **MISSION:** At Divorce With Dignity-Santa Clara, our mission is to help clients achieve an amicable divorce. You will not even have to go to court, if you can come to an agreement. Our goal is to help our clients find a safe place, when they must go through the divorce process, and to help them leave broken, unhappy relationships in a dignified, amicable manner. **WE HELP YOU:** - Take each step from start to finish - Understand the divorce process and keep your peace of mind - Make sure your divorce is done properly with professional expertise - Save time, money, and frustration during this difficult transition With over a decade of experience with individuals and families, I am aware that how important it is to avoid litigation and its long-term consequences. I aim to help folks move forward amicably while going through the most difficult process of their lives. With my immigration and bankruptcy experience I know that changes in marital status or family structure could affect a client’s immigration and financial status. Clients, who are faced with complex legal issues in family law that involve immigration and mounting debt can count on my deep expertise in the areas of Dissolution of Marriage, DVRO and victim-based visas such as U-visa and VAWA. ### *Specialities* - Family Law - Immigration - Debt Settlement - Bankruptcy [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Amicable_Divorce_Asma_Bashir.pdf) ### *More about Asma* ##### EXPERIENCE: With over a decade of experience with individuals and families, I am aware that how important it is to avoid litigation and its long-term consequences. I aim to help folks move forward amicably while going through the most difficult process of their lives. With my immigration and bankruptcy experience, I know that changes in marital status or family structure could affect a client’s immigration and financial status. Clients, who are faced with complex legal issues in family law that involve immigration and mounting debt, can count on my deep expertise in the areas of Dissolution of Marriage, DVRO and victim-based visas such as U-visa and VAWA. ##### EDUCATION: - University of California, Hastings College of the Law Juris Doctorate - University of California, Davis Bachelor of Arts in Communications Bachelor of Arts in Political Science - Lowell High School, San Francisco ##### TESTIMONIALS: *Asma’s …level of involvement, approachability, dedication and the most reasonable flat rate fees for dissolution of marriage case or marital settlement agreements. She’ll help you …avoid the devastating toll that divorce normally can have on your lives and families.* *-Nihad Z.* # Contact Asma Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/AsmaBashir) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Peaceful Divorce Made Easy: Cost-Effective Divorce Services](https://dwdignity.com/denise-foster/) **Published:** March 2, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** Filing for divorce in Alameda County? We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency and no pressure. **Content:** ![Denise Foster](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Denise-Foster-Divorce-With-Dignity-Alameda-2024-Circle.png) # Denise Foster *1151 Harbor Bay Parkway Ste. 126B, Alameda, CA 94502* ## P: [510-522-2600](tel:510-522-2600) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/DeniseFoster) ## Filing for divorce in Alameda County? ## Worried about a lengthy or expensive divorce? I am sure that you have many questions that keep you awake at night. I will help you with amicable divorce services that are peaceful and cost-effective. In every single case, I will save you thousands of dollars over litigating your matter with divorce lawyers, as well as a much better outcome. Our Divorce With Dignity mediation process will get you through conflict resolution and on to reach peaceful agreements. We will process all of your divorce papers, take you through our child support calculator, and get your uncontested divorce finalized with the family court. **I can help you** save time, money, and frustration through this difficult transition. Divorce is a confusing mess of legal requirements and procedures. I take away the pain and frustration of the process by helping you every step of the way. I will help you prepare your divorce papers correctly and even file your papers with the court for you. My name is Denise Foster, a Divorce With Dignity Provider. My mission is to promote amicable divorce services and save you time, money, and frustration during this very difficult time. Everyone deserves a divorce that is fair, easy, and affordable. I became a paralegal to help people get through the legal system – to educate and simplify it for them, and make it accessible to them so they would not have to go through the distress of battling the unknown alone. **I look forward to helping you get through the process of divorce** with a more nurturing and supportive atmosphere than what I saw as a paralegal in the general attorney – based setting. **MISSION:** We are committed to continuing the same excellent service we have provided our clients since 1995. **WE HELP YOU:** - Keep your peace of mind - Save the time and frustration of a contested divorce - Protect your family from the hardship of divorce - Get the professional expertise and assistance you need - Save thousands of dollars **SERVICES PROVIDED:** - **Divorce Planning and Facilitation:** If you’re unsure of what you’d like to do, we will educate you on the process, evaluate which issues are in agreement/disagreement and then help you come up with an informal plan of action. - **Divorce Mediation:** If clients are in disagreement on certain issues, we’ll help the clients reach an agreement through formal mediation. As a mediator, Denise serves as a neutral third party and works with the clients to resolve disagreements and move through the process amicably. - **Legal Document Preparation:** Once clients are in agreement, we will process and file your documents with the court so that you don’t have to appear in court. ### *Specialties* - Adoptions - Conservatorships - Divorce Mediation - Divorce Planning and Facilitation - Family Law Documents - Living Trusts/Wills - Name Changes - Paternity Filings - Probate - Restraining Orders [![](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/blo.jpg "Blo")](https://www.blogtalkradio.com/coffeetimewithcyndee/2016/04/12/right-on-time-dating-with-guest-denise-foster) [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/amicabledivorceDenise.pdf) ### *More about Denise* ##### PROFESSIONAL BACKGROUND - 1981 Bachelor of Science, Healthcare Administration, Cal State Hayward - 1992 Stenotype Transcription Certification - 2008 Paralegal Certification, Ohlone College - 2010 Enrolled Agent, Internal Revenue Service - National Association of Enrolled Agents member - East Bay Association of Enrolled Agents member - 2013 LDA (Legal Document Assistant) No. 106, licensed and bonded with Alameda County - 2016 Mediation Certification and Basic Conflict Resolution Training **\*I am not an attorney. I provide self-help services at your specific direction.** ##### AREAS SERVED: - Albany - Emeryville - Newark - Hayward - Fremont - Union City - Livermore - Pleasanton - Dublin - Castro Valley - Oakland - Berkeley ##### TESTIMONIALS: *“Because of their services I am able to move forward with my life. Something which appeared to be so difficult was made so simple, and their fees were very reasonable. Denise and Agnes assisted me through the process. … were very professional, have beautiful personalities and were extremely helpful.” -Kamesha F.* [*Read More Reviews* ](https://g.page/r/CVAFEL-3SEMkEAE) # Contact Denise Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/DeniseFoster) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Lori Black Ogene - Amicable Divorce in Monterey, CA](https://dwdignity.com/lori-black-ogene/) **Published:** March 2, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency and no pressure. **Content:** ![Lori Black Ogene, Divorce With Dignity - Monterey](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Lori-Black-Ogene-Divorce-With-Dignity-Monterey-RD.png) ## **Lori Black Ogene** 484B Washington Street, Ste. 508, Monterey, CA 93940 ## P: [831-216-8800](tel:831-216-8800) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/LoriBlackOgene-DivorceWithDignity) # Welcome to Divorce With Dignity – Monterey, your trusted partner in navigating amicable divorce in Monterey, CA. Divorce is a sensitive journey, often fraught with emotional challenges and legal intricacies. However, at Divorce With Dignity – Monterey, **Lori Black Ogene is dedicated to empowering individuals to navigate this process with grace and ease**. Specializing in amicable divorce in Monterey, CA, Lori ensures that each client’s dignity is upheld and their unique circumstances are respected throughout the entire journey. Our approach is rooted in **collaboration** and **compassion**. We understand that each divorce is as unique as the individuals involved, which is why we tailor our amicable divorce services to suit your specific needs and preferences. With Lori Black Ogene by your side, you can trust that your voice will be heard and **your concerns addressed with care and understanding**. From facilitating open communication to guiding you through the legal paperwork, we are committed to simplifying the process and minimizing stress for you and your family. **At Divorce With Dignity – Monterey, we prioritize transparency and integrity.** There are **no hidden costs or surprises** – just **honest guidance and unwavering support** as you navigate this transitional period in your life. Whether you’re seeking to resolve child custody matters, divide assets, or establish fair financial arrangements, Lori is here to help you reach amicable agreements that pave the way for a brighter future. **Take the first step towards a peaceful divorce journey. Contact Divorce With Dignity – Monterey today to schedule a consultation and discover the dignified approach to amicable divorce services in Monterey, CA.** ## We provide the following services: - **Divorce planning and facilitation:** If you’re not sure of what you want to do, this meeting will educate you on the process and evaluate all your issues to see where you may or may not be in agreement and then come up with an informal plan. We specialize in amicable divorce (also known as uncontested divorce or collaborative divorce). - **Mediation:** If you’re not in agreement on some of your issues, we help you reach an agreement through mediation. As mediators, we are neutral third parties and work with you to resolve disagreements and move through the process amicably. - **Legal documents:** Once you’re in agreement, we process and file your documents with the court so that you do not even need to appear in court. ### *Specialities* - Amicable Divorce - Divorce Mediation - Paternity / Custody Actions - Child Support - Pre- and Post-Marital Agreements - Adoptions - Name Changes - Wills; Living Trusts [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/amicabledivorceLori.pdf) ### *More about Lori* ##### PROFESSIONAL RECOGNITION: - Admitted to Florida Bar: 1993 - Certified Mediator: 2015 - Outstanding Performance Award, 2nd Annual Regional Child Welfare Conference, September 2007 - Shooting Star Leadership Award, Department of Children and Families, July 2007 ##### EDUCATION: - Juris Doctorate Degree, Southern University Law Center, Baton Rouge, LA, May 1992, Graduated Cum Laude - Bachelor of Arts, Print Journalism, Southern University and A&M College, April 1989, Dean’s List ##### TESTIMONIALS: *5 Stars – Lori was incredibly helpful with the divorce process! -Michael D.* [*Read More Reviews* ](https://g.page/r/CfWgxx-PkXJDEAE) ##### ABOUT LORI BLACK OGENE: Lori Black Ogene is a seasoned attorney licensed to practice law in the State of Florida, boasting over 20 years of litigation experience. In 2010, Lori founded DWD in Miami, where her practice was evenly split between litigation and amicable divorces. After relocating back home to Monterey, California in 2018, she is thrilled to dedicate herself entirely to the amicable process. Her mission is to assist clients in navigating divorce with ease while saving them thousands of dollars in legal fees. # Contact Lori Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) [Schedule a Free Call](https://go.oncehub.com/LoriBlackOgene-DivorceWithDignity) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Cost-Effective Divorce Services: The Key to a Peaceful Resolution](https://dwdignity.com/sarah-elder-gauthier/) **Published:** March 2, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** ![Sarah Elder Gauthier](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Sarah-Elder-Gauthier-300-×-300-px.png "Sarah Elder Gauthier (300 × 300 px)") # Sarah Elder Gauthier San Diego, CA ## P: [619-955-1340](tel:619-955-1340) # **Cost-Effective Divorce Services: The Key to a Peaceful Resolution** **Is your marriage not working out but you don’t want to spend every last dime on attorneys to fight it out in court?** We will show you where to sign and give you a final date so that you have time to take care of your family, work and move on with your life! **We will:** - Explain the process to you completely or as much as you want to know! - Complete all the necessary legal forms for you from the first paper to the last. - File all papers with the court, including all photocopying and mailing costs. - Assist with negotiating and splitting all assets and debts. - Assist with an appropriate child custody and visitation arrangement. - Document all terms of your divorce in a settlement agreement and file it with the court. **How does peaceful divorce benefit YOU?** Divorce can be a complex, arduous process involving preparation of the right legal documents, mediation, division of assets, custody agreements, and more. At Divorce with Dignity – San Diego, we handle all these different aspects of your divorce and make the process as simple and painless as possible. I do everything from the beginning to the end for you. From filing the initial documents with the family court to getting your final judgment, and ultimately equalizing investment accounts, transfer titles, etc. I do the whole thing. I offer a lot of guidance based on my experience in the legal industry, with lawyers, and with the court system. I am able to share ideas I have personally used, have been used by clients, and that have been studied and proven successful. ## Why talk to me about your divorce? I am a very economical choice as I charge a flat fee to do the work up to and including the Settlement Agreement and Judgment. This includes all costs except the court’s filing fee. ## I will provide you complete support through the divorce process. I can help with divorce planning and facilitation (coaching) if you are not ready to proceed with filing. We can provide quality referrals to family law attorneys, mediators, therapists, and other support as needed. Many couples spend a fortune in legal fees because they do not know the law and/or just assume they have to fight; they do not understand that you do not need an attorney if you are willing to work together. My goal is to promote amicable divorces and help you save time, money and frustration during this very difficult time. At Divorce with Dignity – San Diego, we know that doing your own divorce can become overwhelming and time-consuming. Many circumstances can delay your divorce, such as dividing property and working out your parenting plan. We know you are working through very difficult issues and we want to help make it as simple as possible. ## Our mission is to help you achieve a divorce that is fair, easy and affordable. We understand that it can be complicated. We are committed to helping you and your family through the entire process as painlessly as possible so you can retain your dignity and self respect while starting your new life. In addition to divorce services, we can help with many types of legal forms, including QDROs and Deeds. I also have references I could send you that would have been in similar situations to yours. Or, please look me up on Yelp, LinkedIn, Facebook or my website for information and references. I would be working for and with both of you, either virtually (video or phone), through email, or snail mail. Whatever works for both of you! ### *Specialities* - Amicable Divorce - Divorce Planning and Facilitation - Negotiation - Online Mediation - Spousal Support/Child Support - Parenting Plans - Marital Settlement Agreements - Estate Planning: Wills and Trusts - Deeds - QDROs [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/amicabledivorceSarahelderg.pdf) ### *More about Sarah* ##### EXPERIENCE: - Over 25 years experience in the San Diego legal industry; - Extensive experience in and with law firms and the court system; - Background includes business management and organization; - Specializing in management of legal procedures and facilitation of legal documents. ##### TESTIMONIALS: *…thank you again for your professional and expert assistance in processing my case. You made it simple and you were very patient with me and all my questions…detail oriented, thorough and you do a great job explaining every step of the process… Your level of kindness and compassion is rare and exceptional…* *– Kathy A.* [*Read More Reviews* ](https://g.page/r/CWDCB3D8C1QeEAE) # Contact Sarah Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email \* Phone \* Message \* Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [A Safe Place for Anyone Considering Amicable Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/about-us/) **Published:** July 14, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** ![couple preparing to sign a contract](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/couple-preparing-to-sign-a-contract-of-sale-picture-id1314879006.jpg "Couple-preparing-to-sign-a-contract-of-sale-picture-id1314879006") # About Us **Divorce With Dignity** is **a safe place for anyone considering amicable divorce.** With a national network of divorce support professionals, we will help you keep control of your situation and **receive an outcome that is cost effective, safe, and as easy as possible.** We provide divorce support in **all areas** of your process. Our mission is to provide divorce assistance, support, and facilitation for those who wish to have an amicable divorce. Our network is continually expanding to serve people in more areas. We currently cover several areas, and should be in more soon. ![Cindy Elwell](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Cindy.jpg "Cindy") Divorce With Dignity was established in 1996, in Alameda, California, to provide **a safe place for anyone considering amicable divorce** or separation. We reduce your cost, frustration and time by: - Preparing and filing your legal documents - Ensuring you understand the divorce process - Providing you with holistic divorce support services, which take you from start to finish, with a knowledgeable and experienced guide at every step of the way. We provide a safe place for you during your difficult transition through the divorce process. **Everyone at Divorce With Dignity is committed to helping you through the divorce process in a peaceful manner.** In fact, it is against our philosophy to do otherwise. We know that if both parties are willing, **there are alternative conflict resolution methods available to help you** reach an **amicable outcome.** We believe that **affordable legal access** is everyone’s right, and know, after so many years of helping thousands of people, that **amicable divorce** and **peaceful conflict resolution** are possible. Because these beliefs do not yet seem universal, we are expanding, nationally, in order to assist more people to obtain a divorce with dignity. We are just beginning this endeavor, so we may not yet cover your area. If this should be the case, please know that if both parties are committed, you can get through the process amicably and receive the divorce support you deserve. We have included several resources on this site to assist you. Each of our offices is staffed with a primary *Divorce With Dignity* professional, who oversees a variety of professionals, including attorneys, paralegals, legal document assistants, mediators, etc. Everyone at *Divorce With Dignity* believes that your divorce is unique. Most of the people in our Network have gone through a divorce themselves, and relate to and empathize with your needs. We know that this is very emotional for you and want to help make this process **as easy as possible** for you and your family. [FIND A PROVIDER IN YOUR AREA](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Divorce With Dignity - Amicable Divorce Services in San Mateo, CA](https://dwdignity.com/jessica-cochran-kelly/) **Published:** March 2, 2022 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Excerpt:** We help clients achieve a no-court, amicable divorce. From start to finish, we take you every step of the way with transparency and no pressure. **Content:** ![Jessica Cochran-Kelly Divorce With Dignity - San Mateo - Mediation](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Jessica-Cochran-Kelly-Divorce-With-Dignity-San-Mateo-Webpage.png "Jessica cochran-kelly divorce with dignity - san mateo webpage") # Jessica Cochran-Kelly, Esq. 533 Airport Blvd. Ste. 400 Burlingame, CA 94010 ## P: [650-449-0095](tel:650-449-0095) | F: 650-449-0095 # Are you in need of Divorce Mediation in San Mateo, CA? **Look no further than Jessica Cochran-Kelly, Esq. of Divorce With Dignity – San Mateo.** Divorce, a legal dissolution of marriage, can often be a tumultuous journey. However, at Divorce With Dignity – San Mateo, we firmly believe that **divorce and dignity are not mutually exclusive**. Dignity, characterized by honor and respect, forms the cornerstone of our approach. We aim to guide you through **a collaborative process that honors your partnership and facilitates a respectful transition to separate lives**. Gone are the days of courtroom battles and exorbitant legal fees. With our mediation services, we prioritize peaceful resolutions that are both **cost-effective and equitable**. From conflict resolution to child support calculations, we handle all aspects of your uncontested divorce, ensuring a swift and fair resolution through the family court system. In San Mateo, where amicable divorces are not uncommon, our office provides **a supportive environment** where your needs and comfort are paramount. Whether you’re a seasoned attorney or navigating the legal system for the first time, **our transparent approach ensures that you’re fully informed and empowered throughout the process**. At Divorce With Dignity – San Mateo, there are **no hidden costs or surprises**. Our dedicated team is committed to providing compassionate support and practical solutions as you navigate this challenging chapter of your life. **Let us help you achieve a peaceful resolution and embark on your new journey with dignity and grace.** **MISSION:** At Divorce With Dignity – San Mateo, our mission is to help clients achieve an amicable no-court divorce. Rather than promoting divorce, our goal is to help our clients find a safe place, when they must go through the divorce process, and to help them leave broken, unhappy relationships in a dignified, amicable manner. **WE HELP YOU:** - Take each step from start to finish; - Understand the divorce process and keep your peace of mind; - Make sure your divorce is done properly with professional expertise; and - Save time, money, and frustration during this difficult transition. **SERVICES PROVIDED:** - **Divorce Planning and Facilitation:** If you’re unsure of what you’d like to do, we will educate you on the process, evaluate which issues are in agreement/disagreement and then help you come up with an informal plan of action. - **Online Mediation:** If clients are in disagreement on certain issues, we’ll help the clients reach an agreement through formal mediation. As a certified mediator, we serve as a neutral third party, and work with the clients to resolve disagreements and move through the process amicably. - **Legal Document Preparation:** Once clients are in agreement, we will process and file your documents with the court so that you don’t have to appear in court. ### *Specialities* - Divorce Planning and Facilitation - Divorce Mediation - Limited Conservatorships - Special Education [Download free Pamphlet](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/amicabledivorceJessica.pdf) ### *More about Jessica* ##### EXPERIENCE: Jessica became an attorney to advocate for children. Throughout law school and after I worked primarily in the area of special education law and related areas, expanding into family law in 2009. Maintaining my integrity and resolving my clients’ conflicts in the most productive and cost-effective way have always been the hallmarks of my legal practice. - Whittier Law School – Juris Doctor 2005, Center for Children’s Rights Fellow - University of California, Santa Cruz – Bachelor of Arts 1995, Psychology & Politics (double major) ##### TESTIMONIALS: *Jessica is very knowledgeable, extremely professional, calm and honest. She is very concerned about her clients and not after money. -Ali H. [*Read More Reviews* ](https://g.page/r/CYLSpRSpNEL0EAE) # Contact Jessica Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name \* Email \* Message Submit![Loading](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/plugins/wpforms/assets/images/submit-spin.svg) [MORE PROVIDERS](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Privacy Policy](https://dwdignity.com/privacy-policy/) **Published:** August 2, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** # Privacy and cookies policy Last updated: March 6, 2024 Divorce With Dignity (“us”, “we”, or “our”) operates the Divorce With Dignity website (the “Service”). This page informs you of our policies regarding the collection, use and disclosure of Personal Information when you use our Service. We will not use or share your information with anyone except as described in this Privacy Policy. We use your Personal Information for providing and improving the Service. By using the Service, you agree to the collection and use of information in accordance with this policy. Unless otherwise defined in this Privacy Policy, terms used in this Privacy Policy have the same meanings as in our Terms and Conditions, accessible at https://dwdignity.com ## Information Collection And Use While using our Service, we may ask you to provide us with certain personally identifiable information that can be used to contact or identify you. Personally identifiable information (“Personal Information”) may include, but is not limited to: - Name - Email address ## Log Data We collect information that your browser sends whenever you visit our Service (“Log Data”). This Log Data may include information such as your computer’s Internet Protocol (“IP”) address, browser type, browser version, the pages of our Service that you visit, the time and date of your visit, the time spent on those pages and other statistics. ## Cookies Cookies are files with small amount of data, which may include an anonymous unique identifier. Cookies are sent to your browser from a web site and stored on your computer’s hard drive. We use “cookies” to collect information. You can instruct your browser to refuse all cookies or to indicate when a cookie is being sent. However, if you do not accept cookies, you may not be able to use some portions of our Service. ## Service Providers We may employ third party companies and individuals to facilitate our Service, to provide the Service on our behalf, to perform Service-related services or to assist us in analyzing how our Service is used. These third parties have access to your Personal Information only to perform these tasks on our behalf and are obligated not to disclose or use it for any other purpose. ## Security The security of your Personal Information is important to us, but remember that no method of transmission over the Internet, or method of electronic storage is 100% secure. While we strive to use commercially acceptable means to protect your Personal Information, we cannot guarantee its absolute security. ## Links To Other Sites Our Service may contain links to other sites that are not operated by us. If you click on a third party link, you will be directed to that third party’s site. We strongly advise you to review the Privacy Policy of every site you visit. We have no control over, and assume no responsibility for the content, privacy policies or practices of any third party sites or services. ## Children’s Privacy Our Service does not address anyone under the age of 18 (“Children”). We do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from children under 18. If you are a parent or guardian and you are aware that your child has provided us with Personal Information, please contact us. If we discover that a child under 18 has provided us with Personal Information, we will delete such information from our servers immediately. ## Compliance With Laws We will disclose your Personal Information where required to do so by law or subpoena. ## Changes To This Privacy Policy We may update our Privacy Policy from time to time. We will notify you of any changes by posting the new Privacy Policy on this page. You are advised to review this Privacy Policy periodically for any changes. Changes to this Privacy Policy are effective when they are posted on this page. ## Contact Us If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us [**here.**](https://dwdignity.com/contact/) --- ### [Sitemap](https://dwdignity.com/sitemap/) **Published:** August 2, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** # Sitemap [\[simple-sitemap\]](https://wpgoplugins.com/document/simple-sitemap-pro-documentation/#simple-sitemap) --- ### [Questions about Divorce](https://dwdignity.com/divorce-questions/) **Published:** November 29, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** ![Divorce Questions](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Untitled-design-12.png "Untitled design (12)") # Divorce Questions? We will serve as your trusted guide though your Divorce Journey. Of course you’ll have many questions about divorce in your state and your unique circumstances. Contemplating divorce can be an overwhelming experience, laden with worries about financial implications, family dynamics, and lifestyle adjustments. At Divorce With Dignity, we recognize the emotional weight this process carries, as some of our team members have personally navigated the complexities of divorce. ***Amicable divorce*, also known as peaceful or uncontested divorce, represents a collaborative approach where both parties willingly cooperate to reach mutually agreeable terms**. Divorce With Dignity specializes in offering divorce mediation as the primary method for guiding you through this process. Our goal is to alleviate the apprehension surrounding divorce by providing a secure and neutral space for preparation. Our mission is to guide you through the intricate divorce landscape without the exorbitant costs and stresses often associated with litigation. We act as **your partners**, offering education on the divorce process and facilitating discussions to help you reach consensus on all relevant matters. Should you require additional support, we connect you with qualified professionals in therapy, financial planning, and family law. Once an agreement is reached, we seamlessly shepherd you through the entire divorce process, providing **comprehensive support every step of the way**. Our track record speaks for itself – we’ve assisted thousands in achieving amicable divorces, sparing them undue stress and substantial financial expenses associated with litigation. **Connect with a Divorce Specialist in your area to address your questions or kickstart your journey toward a peaceful divorce.** *Your holistic support system begins here.* [FIND A PROVIDER IN YOUR AREA](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) ## How much does a divorce cost? Divorce often comes with a hefty price tag, extending beyond mere financial implications to encompass profound emotional stress. Traditional divorce proceedings, driven by escalating attorney fees, can swiftly accumulate, with many cases tallying up to $20,000 or more. Enter **Divorce With Dignity**—**an advocate for a swifter, more cost-effective solution that spares you both the emotional toll and financial burden associated with conventional divorces**. Our approach focuses on **achieving a resolution without the need for lengthy and costly litigation, ultimately saving you thousands of dollars in the process**. Not just about financial savings, our commitment to providing affordable divorce rates is rooted in the restoration of your peace of mind. At Divorce With Dignity, we stand by you with compassion and understanding, guiding you through the divorce process to ensure a more affordable, efficient, and emotionally manageable journey. Your peace of mind is our priority. ## How to start a divorce? Deciding to divorce may sound like a simple step, but many people considering divorce find themselves “stuck”. Divorce can be scary and overwhelming. Sometimes people know they are unhappy in their marriage but have trouble deciding what to do about it. If you’re contemplating divorce but feeling uncertain, [our article](https://dwdignity.com/making-the-divorce-decision/) on overcoming indecision may provide valuable insights. Embarking on a divorce journey requires thoughtful decisions, and the next step involves choosing the amicable divorce path for your uncontested divorce. **Connect with a DWD Provider** Taking the next step involves meeting with a Divorce With Dignity (DWD) Provider who is here to address your questions and guide you through the divorce process. Our commitment is to create a secure space for you to navigate this journey, find peace of mind, and achieve an amicable divorce. At Divorce With Dignity, personalized attention is a cornerstone of our approach, aiming to minimize stress and ensure a positive outcome. We streamline the process, making it faster and more cost-effective, allowing you to focus on moving forward with life. **Initiate the Process** When you’re ready to commence the process, we’ll meet with you, initiate the necessary steps, and handle court process from start to finish. In many cases, you may not even need to set foot in a courtroom. Our expertise extends to resolving complex issues like child support calculations and asset division, addressing potential stressors with clarity and efficiency. Additionally, if you require further support, we can connect you with professionals such as marriage and family therapists, divorce attorneys, or financial advisors. **Prepare for Life After Divorce** An amicable divorce with Divorce With Dignity is not just about ending a chapter; it’s about preparing for the most important part – life after divorce. We believe that your divorce should not leave you feeling stressed, hopeless, or burdened with excessive bills. Create the life you desire, and let Divorce With Dignity guide you toward a positive path. To kickstart your journey, find a divorce professional in your area, and discover how to begin with confidence. Your future awaits. [FIND A PROVIDER IN YOUR AREA](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) ## Why use Divorce With Dignity? **Doing It Yourself:** Embarking on a DIY divorce journey with books or court clinics might seem like an option, but let’s face it – divorces are intricate and emotionally charged. Doing it correctly the first time can be challenging, especially amidst heightened emotions. Divorce is not just about starting; it’s about finishing, both legally and emotionally. At Divorce With Dignity, our team of dedicated legal professionals offers a cost-effective solution to guide you through the maze, ensuring accuracy and relieving you of the burden. Don’t let emotions overshadow the process; let us help, so you can focus on the crucial decisions ahead. **Using Another Service:** While there are alternative divorce services available, Divorce With Dignity stands out as a comprehensive solution, providing support tailored to your unique needs. Some may require minimal assistance, while others need support throughout the process. Starting with us gives you a solid understanding of the divorce process, aiming for an amicable resolution. If complexities arise, we have the right referrals to guide you. As emphasized by experts like Ed Sherman, involving lawyers and courts can often escalate issues rather than resolve them. Our approach is different – empowering you to understand, take control, and make informed decisions. Before handing your case over to attorneys, consult with one of our providers. We’ll help you navigate your journey, fostering cooperation, and developing an action plan for efficient resolution. Contact one of our offices before taking any further steps. Your empowered divorce journey begins with Divorce With Dignity. **\*\*\*** Ed Sherman says in his book, “Making Any Divorce Better:” **“The reason divorces are difficult is almost always about personal relations between you and your spouse, not about the law. The law has no tools whatever—none, not any—to help settle problems based on your personal relationship.” (Page 7)** “In fact, getting involved with lawyers and courts almost always makes things worse instead of better.” (Pages 13-14) And in the book, **“A Judge’s Guide to Divorce: Uncommon Advice from the Bench”** by Roderic Dunan, he discusses reasons why couples should avoid divorce court, how overworked the judicial system is, the motivations and training of divorce court judges, when a court case is necessary, as well as some of the strange incidents that occurred in his courtroom. [FIND A PROVIDER IN YOUR AREA](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) --- ### [Trusted Partners](https://dwdignity.com/trusted-partners/) **Published:** December 19, 2023 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** ![](https://dwdignity.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/confident-latin-business-leader-portrait-picture-id1296331668.jpg "Confident-latin-business-leader-portrait-picture-id1296331668") # Our Trusted Partners Navigating a divorce is challenging, but with Divorce with Dignity Providers, you’re not alone. Our network collaborates with esteemed professional partners to empower you through this phase while maintaining control and dignity. These trusted partners offer cost-effective, secure, and hassle-free services. While we present a few of these reliable allies, our Providers also extend local resource listings. To access comprehensive support tailored to your needs, reach out to a [Provider in your area](https://dwdignity.com/all-providers/) today. ## Online Therapy, Coaching & Support Groups ## Susan Regan, MFT Susan has been a partner for years. She offers small group, online divorce support groups, co-parenting support groups, discernment counseling, and more. [Visit Website](https://www.relationshipsolutionsprograms.com/) --- ### [Terms and Conditions](https://dwdignity.com/terms-and-conditions/) **Published:** August 2, 2021 **Author:** Cindy Elwell **Content:** Maintenance Briefly unavailable for scheduled maintenance. 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