The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Considering a Divorce


As a Divorce With Dignity divorce support professional, I have conferred with many people considering divorce, and have noticed some common mistakes.  Here are the top five mistakes, and ways to avoid them to the benefit of all involved.

  1. Failing to talk with your spouse and explore options to proceed amicably towards a divorce. Nobody thinks divorce is easy, and everyone always hears the message that they shouldn’t talk to their spouse.  That’s completely the opposite message of what you should do.  Sometimes people want so badly to avoid having to talk through difficult issues in a marriage that they don’t first discuss their feelings with their spouse and what they want to happen in their divorce; they just get so mad, that they yell out they are going to file for divorce.  Take a big breath, calm down and find a safe place to talk to each other about proceeding with the process.
  2. Starting the divorce process without understanding how it works. Do you know the different types of divorce (such as contested/uncontested, fault/no fault, etc.)?  Do you know what paperwork is required for your divorce?   Do you know if you and your spouse are in agreement on all the issues you’ll have to decide for your divorce?  First, find out how the legal process works so you can formulate the best strategy for you. If you live near a Divorce With Dignity office, you can talk with us about the divorce process and how it works in your state.  We can help you with your pre-divorce planning so you will be prepared for the ramifications of divorce,
  3. Hiring a divorce lawyer before talking to your spouse about divorce. Before you jump in feet first and hire a divorce lawyer, talk to your spouse.  Talk about your intention to divorce and see how your spouse feels about it.  Discuss the different aspects entailed in a divorce settlement (such as child custody and visitation plans, living arrangements, property, finances) and find out what you already agree on and what needs to be worked out.
  4. Not considering alternative ways to divorce besides litigation. Once you have discussed the issues involved in the divorce settlement, you can save lots of time, stress, and money by avoiding litigation, especially when you know the difficult issues that you may not agree upon.  There are alternative and more peaceful ways to divorce.  Depending on your issues, you may need someone to help you with the divorce papers, or perhaps you could benefit from a mediator.  These alternatives give you options besides the adversarial, stressful, and costly litigation method. At Divorce With Dignity, we can discuss these more peaceful options with you to help you determine which method is best for you,
  5. Failing to analyze your financial situation and determining how you’ll be able to make ends meet. You will need to look at your proposed future living expenses for your life after divorce and figure out how you are going to be able to manage this new phase of your life. Of course, any of our offices can help you look at your situation and provide referrals if you need additional assistance,

In addition to walking you through many of the above decisions, a Divorce With Dignity provider can put you in touch with various other services you may need related to your divorce. Working with them can help you avoid many costly mistakes; costly not only in the financial sense, but also with respect to emotions and time. To find a provider, please visit our website –

Getting a divorce doesn’t have to cost you lots of time and money. Let us help you get through your divorce – with dignity!

The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice.  The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned.  Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions

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Posted in Emotional Effects of Divorce and tagged , , , , , , .


  1. I am so glad I found your website, I really found you while searching for a divorce attorney. Are you guys really a good alternative to using real attorneys? I just don’t have time or energy for a full divorce and litigation in my life right now. My wife might be willing to avoid making a big deal out of it too. Let me know.

  2. Thanks for this article! It’s so important to educate yourself on common divorce mistakes. We don’t usually think of these things until it is too late. I’m glad to know divorce doesn’t have to be a painful scary experience…

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