A short time ago I posted a blog called “Living Arrangements During And After Your Divorce”, and today’s blog is the same topic on a more personal level. One of my clients, who I’ll call “Amy” (not her real name), agreed to tell us a little of her story.
For many people, living arrangements during the divorce process are dictated by financial concerns and they opt to stay in the same house for awhile. But when Amy decided to divorce, she felt she needed to get out of the home as soon as possible. The environment had become “toxic” for her so staying was just not an option. Her daughter was away at college, but her son was still living with them. She offered him the choice of living with his father or moving out with her. He chose to stay, since his father “had no rules”, a situation that appealed to the teenage boy.
Moving out was tough on her. She did not get to see her son on a regular basis, and she was suddenly alone, without family around her. It was a very lonely time for her. I asked Amy how she coped – “a lot of prayer and meditation, spending a lot of time with a lot of close girlfriends, and talking with [my Divorce With Dignity provider]”. During these talks, she says, “I was able to allow my emotions to come through and be sad and cry”.
It was very challenging financially as well. She was working full time, but still had to dip into her savings and 401k to make ends meet. She offers some advice to people who are in the process of deciding to leave – “be very intensely focused on building up savings”.
There were also some definite advantages to her moving out. Not only did Amy get herself out of the toxic situation with her spouse, but she was able to concentrate on what she needed to do. “I was now on my own, so I wasn’t mothering anyone or being a wife to anyone, so I could just take care of me.”
So how did her Divorce With Dignity provider help her through the decisions and legal necessities of her divorce, in addition to the emotional issues?
“She was very caring and very insightful. She explained what was going on and always gave me different options to consider. It’s run in a very professional way, and she did everything she said she would do in a timely way, so we got through the paperwork quickly. I received compassion and knowledge in a loving, calm, serene environment. I had been through a previous divorce using divorce lawyers. The atmosphere [at Divorce With Dignity] was like night and day compared to a lawyer’s office, where you talk mainly to clerks and secretaries, and spend very little time with the attorney. Plus it [Divorce With Dignity] cost me a lot less than the $20,000 I spent using lawyers in my previous divorce.”
If you are considering divorce and would like to talk with someone in a peaceful environment about what decisions need to be made, what your options are, and how the divorce process works, I invite you to contact your nearest Divorce With Dignity provider. Let us help you figure out the best way to get through your divorce – with dignity!
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions