People don’t often associate the word “amicable” with divorce, but we are hearing about amicable divorces in the news quite a lot these days. Some examples of celebrities who have managed to divorce without rancor and drama are Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz, Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Phillippe, and Courteney Cox & David Arquette. Fran Drescher & Peter Marc Jacobson not only have remained friends since their mid-1990s divorce, but even created a sitcom together based on their experiences called “Happily Divorced”.
Non-celebrites, too, are finding ways to make their divorces as peaceful as possible, and moving into their next phase of life as friends. It may take a little work (or in some cases, a lot of work) to attain, but it is possible.
If you are on the brink of divorce, you might not be feeling all that friendly towards your spouse. But if you can set asides your emotions and approach it as negotiating a treaty using tact and courtesy, you are on the right path.
What does it take to achieve an amicable divorce?
- A willingness by both partners to cooperatively work out a divorce agreement that feels fair to everyone involved
- An attitude of polite negotiation
- A concern for the welfare of each other and, if there are children, a priority concern for what’s in their best interest
- A desire to avoid a litigated divorce where the nature of the process breeds animosity, distress, and conflict
Working toward an amicable divorce does not mean that you have to give in on issues that are important to you just to keep the peace. If you are unable to come to an agreement on certain issues, you may choose to have a mediator assist you in your negotiations and present options you may not have thought of.
There are situations that are not conducive to working things out cooperatively, for example when there has been domestic abuse. This creates a power imbalance that is difficult to overcome. But for many couples, an amicable divorce is a real possibility and a goal worth striving for. What makes it worth the effort? Here are just some of the advantages to a peaceful, non-litigated divorce –
- You have more control over the decisions that will affect your future
- You have more flexibility in the terms of your divorce agreements
- You have more privacy, since there are no publicly filed declarations
- You avoid the stress of a long, drawn-out court battle
- You can achieve the divorce faster and the cost savings are significant
- When people work together to create a fair settlement, they are more likely to comply with the terms
The mission of Divorce With Dignity is to help people cooperatively work out the details of their divorce agreement, take care of the necessary paperwork for the courts, and support our clients through the divorce process. We can present options and provide referrals to other support professionals to help you resolve the issues of your particular situation. We wholeheartedly believe in amicable divorce, and are ready to show you how it can be achieved. To talk with a Divorce With Dignity professional in your area, please visit dwdignity.com.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.