The issues which come up in a marriage generally seem like they’ll go away if we can just be done with that relationship! You naturally expect that you’ll be done with feelings like anger at being abused, or sadness from being discounted, or even jealousy driven by a spouse’s affair. This belief is one of the main things that drives us to divorce: if we can finally get away from the person, life will get better!
As hard as it is to believe, the truth is that the painful feelings stem from unfinished business we have with ourselves. In fact, it has now been discovered that we have encountered those same feelings over and over in our life before, and as awful as it is to accept, we will indeed draw them into our life again, if we don’t heal them.
Actually, the main business of life is clearing up any emotional stuckness that we may be dragging with us through life. Almost always we are unconscious of this kind of burden, yet it is a very powerful force in our lives.
Repressed emotions are part of the unique vibration which every person emanates. This vibration invisibly telegraphs itself out from us. Other people subconsciously feel these old leftover emotions vibrating from us, and if their vibration fits ours, they will be the perfect ones to be drawn into our lives to bring up those emotions for us to feel consciously. And so, after the initial pink cloud and excitement of building a life together, the pain begins.
During twenty-five years of working with relationship issues, Pat Palmer has developed The Clearing Process to find and clear these invisible blocks to the love and joy we expect from marriage. We learn to take the pain of a “failed marriage” and turn it into the catalyst for great healing! The Clearing Process is much faster and more effective than almost all counseling approaches. Each person is guided to discover one’s own emotional stuckness. When we can own the problem, we can heal it!
Pat wrote “The Clearing Process” (available on Amazon). It’s an easy read and gives many examples of how CP works and why it is so effective. The six steps of the process are designed as a self-therapy, to be used the rest of one’s life, whenever feeling overwhelmed by emotional pain. You can also get the workbook and learn the process yourself; however it works much better to have help in the beginning.
Sessions to learn the process with Pat, and get immediate relief from the quicksand of discomfort, may be done in person, by computer on Skype, or by cell phone with FaceTime. Usually six sessions is enough to learn the process. You can contact Pat at firstname.lastname@example.org or via her website at www.clearingprocess.com.
Not only does The Clearing Process allow the divorce itself to proceed more smoothly, its greatest gift is ensuring that you do not AGAIN draw someone into your life who will end up calling forth the same painful experiences in subsequent relationships. No matter how careful we are, if there is still emotional pressure present within, life will do its part to assist us by having someone bring it up!
Give yourself a gift that turns this divorce into a stepping stone to your own happiness and power! Clear whatever unconscious pain got you into the situation by bringing it to the surface and allowing it to dissolve.
You will be amazed as you come to see how you were blinded by “love.” You will easily and naturally turn away from any person who will end up becoming a “deja vu”. You are freed to be the authentic, powerful person you always were inside, and you will attract into your life a person who matches THAT energy!
The Divorce With Dignity philosophy is that divorce should be a holistic process. Yes, we can assist you with divorce planning, divorce agreement negotiations, and filling out and filing the divorce papers. But we also can provide referrals to other professionals like Pat who can help you through the emotional trauma of divorce and guide you on your path to a happier life. If you have decided that divorce is the right course of action for you, we invite you to speak with a Divorce With Dignity facilitator to learn how we can help.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions.