I know it seems counterintuitive, but it really is possible to have a peaceful divorce. And when people understand the benefits of getting through a divorce at least civilly, if not amicably, most will want to do just that.
But how do you achieve a peaceful divorce? The first thing to do is make up your mind to work for it. Too hard you say? Think of how much energy is expended in a long, drawn-out hostile divorce. Either way, you will be exerting effort – but the results will be very, very different.
Let’s talk first about some benefits of a peaceful divorce. One of the most enduring and important benefits is how your children will be affected. Watching their parents fight an acrimonious battle is very stressful for children. If your goal is to minimize the negative effects of divorce on your children, then do whatever you can to take hostility out of the picture. Not only will your children be happier, you will be setting an example to them on how to manage anger and treat others with dignity and respect.
Another benefit of a peaceful, non-litigated divorce is that you and your spouse will have the power to decide for yourselves what will be in your divorce agreement. When you go through divorce court, you are letting someone else make the decisions for you that will affect important areas of your life.
And what about privacy? In a litigated divorce, very private details of your life will be laid out for public view. If you opt instead for a negotiated or mediated divorce, your privacy is maintained.
In addition to minimizing stress on your entire family, having the power to make your own decisions about the specifics of your divorce agreement, and keeping private matters private, a non-litigated divorce will cost you much less in both time and money.
With all these advantages to making your divorce a peaceful one rather than a bloody battlefield, it just makes sense to go this route if you possibly can. Both you and your spouse would need to make a commitment to settling your differences through respectful communication, negotiation and compromise. Try to take a business-like approach to the divorce, and take the long view. Choose to not let your emotions get in the way; choose to not lash out at your spouse or try to punish him/her in any way. This attitude will help you work out an agreement that you both can live with, and will allow everyone to begin a path to recovery from being a broken family to becoming an amicable “divorced family”.
Amicable does not mean you have to give in on issues that are important to you, and it doesn’t mean you have to be the best of friends. What it does mean is that you strive to leave the hurts from the past behind and move forward, working cooperatively to achieve a fair and equitable divorce that lets everyone retain their self-respect and dignity. At Divorce With Dignity, our goal is to help you do just that. We’ll sit down with you to assist in determining which issues need resolving, and then help you to work out a solution that both of you can accept. We’ll also take care of filling out the divorce paperwork and filing them with the courts, and we can provide referrals to any other services you might need to make getting through your divorce a bit easier.
If you would like to learn more about how we can help you achieve a peaceful divorce, with dignity and integrity, please visit our website (findaprovider.dwdignity.com) and get in contact with your local Divorce With Dignity affiliate.
The author of this blog is not an attorney and the information contained in these blogs should not be considered legal advice. The information provided here is based on the experience of the author and some of her clients whose actual names are not mentioned. Do not hesitate to seek the advice of an attorney if you have any legal questions